Original subtitles

- The fuck?

- In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

It has been seven days since my last confession.

- Go on, my son.

- Father, I've been having these thoughts.

- What kind of thoughts?

- Immortal thoughts.

Indecent.

- What kind of indecent thoughts?

- What do you mean?

- You know what I mean.

- About boys.

- Boys?

- I dream that I'm with a boy, a man,

and I see him maybe in the locker room,

or on the beach, or in the shower.

Or maybe it's just my friend in my room and we...

I see him, he sees me, and we connect, you know?

We just connect.

We know what this is about.

We know what...

What this is.

- Get to it.

- He looks at me, I look at him,

he just nods and I just nod.

We know.

You know?

We connect.

We move close.

Real close, like I can feel his breath on me close.

We just have this deep stare.

So deep.

I grab him, he grabs me, and we just embrace.

It's not about lust or even about being horny

or whatever, it's just that feeling, that deep...

That deep feeling.

- And then what?

- His lips are touching mine.

I'm kissing this man in my room.

He's kissing me.

A kiss, a deep kiss.

So deep.

I'm getting this deep feeling inside me.

That I wanna do things with this man,

and I want this man to do things to me.

Sexual things.

Indecent things.

- Like what?

Get to it.

- I want to do things with his body.

With our mouths.

I wanna kiss his body.

I want his breath on my body.

I wanna kiss his body, make love to his body.

Worship his body.

- You wanna be his bitch.

- What?

- You wanna be his bitch.

- No, Father.

- You want him to use you.

- No, Father.

- Then what do you want?

- I want him...

I want him to do things to my body.

I want him to love my body because he wants to.

He doesn't wanna use me, Father.

He wants to love me, he wants to kiss me,

he wants to love my body, worship my body.

Touch my body.

I want his breath on my body.

Just our breaths and our bodies.

I wanna feel and kiss and breathe

and feel and kiss and breathe and feel

and feel and kiss and kiss, feel and kiss

and kiss and feel and kiss and...

Then the ultimate deep, Father.

Heaven.

We reach Heaven.

We have felt, we have known, we have loved.

So deep, Father.

So deep.

We know.

- You've been a bad boy, indecent thoughts.

- Yes, Father.

- You must do penance for your sins.

- I know.

- Well...

Get to it.

- The one thing I love, more than

anything in the world, is a big, black dick.

The taste, the smell, the feel of it chaffing my lips.

The heat of it as it slaps against my face,

its warmth, the look of it, the color,

the brown or sometimes purplish tip.

The chocolate shaft, a vein to lick.

There's nothing I love more than a big, black...

Dick.

There's nothing I want more, I need more,

than the touch, than the hand of a big black man.

His flesh against mine, the color, the contrast,

the curse of Ham, the salvation of Zion.

Those beautiful lips that give me a hardon.

Brown eyes, brown skin, black hair.

No light.

Gets me feeling myself in the middle of the night.

White smile, black face.

You bust, then you stand.

There's nothing I need more than

the touch of a big black man.

- Okay, so I'm at work, and then the news breaks

and INews just goes nuts, I mean goes nuts,

and we're in the middle of C-Block, okay,

and then my cunt ass EP just telephones down,

telephones down, and mind you we're about to go live.

She telephones down.

Just the way she said it was...

"Oh, um, the police just gunned down

"another black kid in Harlem, protest in

"the streets, just go ahead and break it."

- What's wrong with that?

- "Just go ahead and break it."

No real emotion, no real empathy.

Mind you, I'm the only nigger on

set, fuck, in the control room.

- Of course.

- So of course they don't get it,

but then again I have to think do I

look bias by pushing this forward--

- Amadi, nobody's thinking that.

- You don't know that, okay?

- Look, they're not.

- Look at this.

- No more work.

- Thank you.

- Eww, gross!

Nasty.

- You like it!

- Stop.

- You okay?

- Yeah, just...

- It's cool.

- I'm sorry.

- It's cool.

See you later.

- Everyone's gonna be there, everyone here's

gonna be there, my boss, my coworkers.

You are the fucking shit.

Your last show was everything.

It was sickening, babe.

- Thanks.

- Jackson!

Oh my God, oh my God,.

- Oh my God.

Are you happy?

- Am I happy?

Of course I am happy.

- Big fan, lovely work.

Great show.

- Merci beaucoup.

- We're gonna be having a gallery here next month.

- I am so there.

Is it going to be hot?

- So hot.

- So there, oh my God.

- Oh my God.

- Any questions?

Yes, go ahead.

- On your painting for Sleepless Nights,

is that a harness or is that a swing?

- Oh it is both, it is built to accommodate both.

- Just late.

- I mean clearly I didn't miss anything.

- Yes, yes, go ahead.

- How many of these are self portraits?

- Wouldn't you want to know.

- He's cute.

- Who, Cee?

- It's a different emotion, a feeling.

- No bitch, does it look like I would date a Cee?

- It is a feel, it is so different.

- Jackson?

- Yes, bitch.

- Some girls really will date any

old white thing they come across.

- Don't hate.

- Merci beaucoup, I like that.

Oh my God.

- Well thank you, this has

just been an extraordinary night.

- So how do you know Thomas?

Boyfriend?

- God no, he's my sister.

- Gotcha.

So are you enjoying the art show?

- It's all right.

- Looks pretty good from where I'm standing.

- Is that right?

Are you always this forward?

- They call me "Hands On" Jackson, so...

- Oh is that right?

Oh, okay.

Who gave you that nickname?

- Which one?

Who you talking about, you know what I mean?

- There's several.

- Yeah.

- Oh okay, I understand.

- Just look for the one, you gotta kiss

a lot of frogs to find your prince.

- Okay, exactly, so you've been kissing a lot of frogs?

- I try to keep it to a minimum.

- Of what?

Look at you.

You drawing and shit?

I love it.

- I'm always drawing, you fat bitch.

- Hey.

Come to bed.

- Momentarily.

- You got to, okay?

Tonight is one of those nights where the sex is ripe.

The wine, the art gallery, my sexiness.

- No.

- Yes.

Come on, come to bed, come on.

- In a minute, in a minute.

- You're really not gonna let me see?

- I'll let you see when I'm finished.

- When's that gonna be?

- I'm in no rush.

- You promise you'll let me see?

- I promise I'll let you see, little girl.

- Little girl?

- Little girl.

- My name is not no little girl.

- Oh really?

- Yeah.

You know that too.

Want me to show you?

Come to bed.

- In a minute.

- Fine.

Don't keep me waiting too long!

- I love you.

- Yeah yeah yeah, I love you too.

Don't keep me up too late.

- I won't.

- You get it?

- I get it!

- Hey.

- Hey, Thomas?

- Yeah, it's my phone.

- Just checking.

You got a sassy mouth.

- Sometimes.

- I see.

I see you need to learn some respect.

- Yeah?

- I'll put that mouth to better use.

- Yeah?

- You want that?

- Yeah.

- That's what a boy like you needs.

- Yeah.

- Yeah?

It's yes, boy.

- Yes.

- Yes what?

- Yes sir.

- Come on boy, get to it.

Put those lips to use.

Put that mouth to work.

Yeah, boy.

- Yeah.

- That's what a boy like you needs.

- Yeah.

- That's what those lips were made for.

- Yeah.

- Sucking on white men.

- Yeah.

- That's what those lips were made for?

- Yeah.

- Tell me what those lips were made for.

Go on.

- Sucking on white men.

- Why is that?

Why is that?

- 'Cause that's what I need.

- Oh yeah?

- Yeah.

- That's what that monkey mouth needs.

- Shit.

Come on.

Turn over, let's go again.

- I'm good.

- Come on, you don't wanna get off?

- No.

- You okay?

- Yeah.

- You sure?

- Yeah.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- How goes it?

- I'm good, just sitting up in my room.

And you?

- Just at work.

Working on work.

- Oh I'm sorry.

- No need to apologize, you can disturb my work anytime.

I like you.

- Boy, you don't even know me.

- I want to.

- Would you like to go get a drink later?

- Would I like to?

I'd love to.

- Shut up.

- I'm serious.

- All right, let's say Hell's Kitchen, around 9-ish?

- It's a date.

- It's a date.

All right, I'll see you soon.

- The black man in America is a sissy!

He has been sissified, and if we want to change anything,

we have to have black men, real men, black men!

Justice for Huey Jackson, justice for Huey Jackson!

- What'd you do today?

- Work.

- So if I look in this sketch pad

I'm gonna see some real progress in there?

- Why are you being a dick?

- I'm sorry.

I just had a really bad day at work and...

I just...

- And you just what?

- I guess I'm just resentful that

you're not working a real 9 to 5.

I just wish I had someone here--

- We're gonna go there huh?

- Come on, you never wanna go there.

What?

- You're an asshole.

- I love how me telling the truth makes me an asshole.

Where are you going?

You know what, fuck you then!

- So this is an interesting choice for you.

- Yeah, my type of guy.

- I see.

- Not yours?

- No.

- Well I guess we all love what we ain't got.

- What we ain't got?

- I just think that black men are beautiful.

- That we are, but if only everyone thought that to be true.

- You don't think people think that?

Well I want you.

- You don't want me.

You want the thought of me.

- I want you.

- Why?

- I don't know, it's in my nature.

It's who I am, it's what I am.

- Sure.

- And you want me.

- Sure.

- Hey.

Hey.

From the way you got off the phone,

I didn't think you were interested.

- I'm not.

- Then why are you here?

- Just curious I guess.

- Curious.

- Curious.

- Or is it your nature?

- Stop.

- Sorry.

So what is it?

- What?

- Is it your nature?

- I don't know what you're talking about.

- You got a whole lot of sass, boy.

- It's Thomas.

Not boy.

- Don't you ever wonder where all

that anger within you comes from?

Why you feel so unsettled?

Disgruntled even?

- I wasn't aware I was any of that.

- You are.

Even right there, that defensive kickback.

Immediately not even listening.

You are unsettled.

- Whatever.

- You need a hug.

Huh?

You need somebody to hold you.

Really hold you.

When was the last time somebody held

you in their arms and you just felt at home?

At peace, provided for.

You felt loved.

You felt like no matter what, these arms that

held you were all you would need in life.

When was the last time you felt like that?

Or have you ever?

This.

This is what it feels like to be with a real man.

- I'm sorry for last night.

Do you wanna go to the Huey Jackson rally today?

- No.

- Okay.

I'm gonna be back late.

I'll...

I'll see you later.

- How's the show with you and Thomas coming along?

- It's well.

- I'm sure Thomas is well.

Your installation?

- Almost finished.

I'm just doing a little research.

- Okay.

Don't fuck this up.

- Of course not.

- That guy who was with Cee at the gallery.

- You mean his boyfriend?

- Boyfriend.

Yeah, have you heard from Cee?

Did he like it?

- Not since opening, but I've been busy and shit and--

- Okay, get back to work.

- Rude.

- Ellis, let's go!

- Come in.

You get home okay last night?

- Yeah.

- I guess that was kinda an obvious question.

- A little kinda.

- Yeah.

- Did you have any fun?

- Nah.

Just seeing you.

- How sweet.

- I'm serious.

You're very attractive.

- Thanks.

My mother thinks so.

- So what do you do?

Or is that too personal?

- I'm an artist by trade.

- Oh really?

Landscapes?

- No, erotic cartoons actually.

- Oh, I'd love to see that.

- I have a show next month at the gallery where I met you.

Well kinda met you.

- We met.

You have a boyfriend?

- Yeah.

- Open?

- Nah.

- Bad boy.

- I guess, I mean you and Cee.

- I'm not looking for anything serious right now.

Recently divorced, wife, two kids.

They live in Westchester.

- A wife?

- A boyfriend.

- Guess we're all a little fucked up huh?

- We're not wired perfectly, no.

- So that last night, that's your thing?

- I guess.

I don't really think about it.

Just gets me off.

- Why?

- I don't know, why does it get you off?

- I don't know if it does, I've never done anything.

- Which is why you're here.

- Gonna take out your ball gag.

But if you scream, boy, I'm gonna whip you again.

You understand me?

You understand me, boy?

I don't believe you.

I want you to kiss my foot.

I said I want you to kiss my foot, boy.

- No.

- I'll tell you what.

You kiss my foot, I'll let you go.

Scout's honor.

As sure as I'm a red-blooded Christian, I'll do it.

I'll let you go.

- Yo, are we gonna start this shit or...

- He doesn't speak much?

- What he need to talk for?

We're not here to talk.

- I guess you're right.

- We're not doing shit until we see some money.

- Look, it's customary to--

- You think I give a fuck about a custom, nigga?

No dough, no dick, period.

- Okay, I'll pay you half up front and half when we finish.

Stand up, take off your clothes.

- You said you was here for dicks.

We ain't up for all that gay shit.

Grab of the rest of the money Tito, get it, get it!

- Meeks, it ain't here!

- Open the other drawers, I don't know.

- I told you it's not here!

- Where is it?

Where is it?

- Calm down, boy.

- Fuck you.

- I said calm down.

- Fuck you!

- I'm only gonna warn you this one last time.

- Fuck you!

Fuck you!

- You're gonna learn, boy.

Now go on, let it out.

- Fuck you.

- Can I help you with something?

- Yes, I got a noise complaint the other day.

Some screaming.

- Okay.

- Any problems?

- Did you get the complaint for here?

- Yeah.

Any problems?

- No, no.

- So no reason for the commotion the other night?

- Not that I can recall, it was the other night.

- Okay.

Have a good day.

- Same to you.

- You two were arguing.

- I mean yeah, but it was nothing.

- What were you arguing about?

- Work, finances, couples stuff.

- Because he's an artist and you pay all the bills.

- No, because we're a couple and couples argue.

- But after most couples argue one of

them doesn't usually disappear.

And their other doesn't usually

wait almost a week to report it.

- That's only because I knew it wouldn't be taken

it seriously had I filed it less than a week.

- Do you mind continuing this down at the precinct?

- Man, fuck you and the precinct!

- There's no need for aggression there, buddy.

- Both of you need to get the fuck out of my house!

- We're trying to help you, sir.

- Trying to help me?

If you were trying to help me you'd be...

- Hey, get your hand out of your pocket now!

- I need my inhaler.

- What?

- I'm asthmatic and I need my inhaler.

- Right there?

I'll get it for you.

All right.

- Now both of you can get the fuck out of my house.

- We'll notify you if anything comes up.

- What, no, stop laughing, it's not funny.

It's not, you see, this is the problem.

This is why your son thinks it's okay

to punch his teacher in the balls.

You need to get upset and get mad and grrr!

- Grrr!

- Yes, yes, you make him think it's

okay with your laughing and your high fives

and your stuff, he gets all that from you.

- Okay, you know, that teacher was a dick right?

Everybody knew he was a dick and

he got what he deserved, period.

- Whatever.

- And truth be told, if he's going around punching

guys in the balls he got that from you, not me.

- Oh really?

- Yeah, really.

- Shut up.

I was just trying to...

- I messed up.

- No shit.

- No, I messed up.

- Lee.

Lee, what's wrong?

If you tell me I...

Lee.

Lee come on, what's wrong, what's...

What?

It's okay.

Have you heard from Thomas?

- No I haven't.

- Fuck.

This opening might just be you then, you know.

- Everything will be just fine.

- Don't get smart.

- Rachel.

- This is the tale of Enik and Alex.

Alex was a slaver who was much loved by his

darkies, and he loved them back so, but none

did he love more than his Enik.

Enik and Alex had basically grown up together.

Alex's father had purchased Enik's

family when he was about 12.

And immediately Enik and Alex had a connection.

And like all boys, they experimented sexually.

So much so over the years that Alex's father

insisted that Alex take a wife upon his 16th birthday.

With a heavy heart, Alex did.

But that did not stop his visits to Enik's slave quarters.

On one such night, Alex's wife, clueless to the

whole situation, followed Alex down to the cabins.

And when she opened the door, what did she see?

Alex balls deep into Enik's chocolate hole.

Well she screamed and ran for the authorities.

Knowing that their fate was grim,

Enik and Alex took off running.

They had only each other.

Like a man and his dog, a quintessential binding.

With the authorities closing in fast,

Alex and Enik made the hasty

decision to cross the frozen Hudson.

They made it out about 40 feet before the ice gave way.

And they vanished, never to be seen or heard from again.

All I can think of is that they were together.

Side by side.

Maybe holding hands.

Staring deeply into each other's eyes as they drowned.

Froze to death.

Just staring.

And knowing that no matter what,

the master and his boy, their bond,

their fate, was forever together.

Who am I?

I said who am I?

Am I the master?

Huh?

Am I the master?

Am I the master?

Am!

I!

The!

Master!

And who are you?

Who are you to me?

Who are you?

Come on.

Who are you?

Who are you?

I knew you were.

- Come here, boy.

Kneel.

Go on boy, get.

- What?

- You're free.

You can go.

- So...

He's just lying there dead?

- Yeah.

- Good.

- Hello?

- Hey, I just got your e-mail.

- Yeah?

- You just needed a vacation?

- Yeah.

- And now you wanna come up in here and put on an art show?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

- Will Rachel be there?

- Yeah, she should be.

She just had a death in the family,

but she should be back, why?

- No reason.

I'll see you ASAP.

Bye bye.

- You ready?

This is your night, okay?

Don't worry about anything else that's been

going on right now, just focus on tonight.

I love you.

- I love you too.

- I'm gonna get some drinks, okay?

- So Jackson, what inspired your piece?

- Well I'm a slut, Rachel.

No, but really, just wanted to document my desires

and I guess what I found out is that

it's a mix between my fantasies and my

hopes and some of my nightmares and everything

that's ugly and beautiful in-between.

- So Thomas, what inspired you?

- Sometimes...

Sometimes I don't work.

I have a lot of time.

I have this terrifying thought that no matter

how hard I try to fight it or think otherwise,

no matter how hard, how foreign it is

for me to believe, I've come to realize

that at my base, and at my core, I'm just an

animal catering to my most primitive needs.

To eat, drink, to fuck, to laugh, to love.

I'm just a domesticated animal and a

product of my parents, and my circumstances,

and where I grew up, and where I live,

and my society, and my education, and my

just everything I can't control.

Just parts of me I can't control.

I'm just a product and an animal.