All language subtitles for JT.LeRoy.2019.HDRip.XviD.AC3-EVO-HI

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Subtitles by explosiveskull

LAURA AS JT: I was 18
when I wrote my novel "Sarah."

Never thought
it'd become a bestseller

with all these fancy people
wantin' to meet me,

the illusive JT LeRoy.

But I prefer to be a shut-in

'cause when I'm writin'
or on the phone,

I get to show people
exactly what I wanna show 'em.

I can focus on the words and
just... leave my body behind.

[INDISTINCT SONG ON STEREO]

- Dude, it's so good!
- Yeah?

We just got the, uh, the demos
back from the studio,

so, yeah,
I'm pretty fuckin' excited.

[INDISTINCT SONG ON STEREO]

- Is that her? Is that Laura?
- Uh-huh.

- Yeah, no, no, that's her.
- Cool.

- Pretty fucking great, right?
- Yeah.

Man, she's, uh...

I... I just can't wait for you
to meet her.

I fucking live here now.
I can't believe this.

Fuck, yes, you live here.

Dude, you made it out
of mom's place.

You're going up in the world.
I'm proud of you.

- Proud of you.
- Thanks.

[HUMMING]

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[GRUNTS] Hey, hey!

Hey, come in. This is us.

Uh, kitchen right over here.
Come through.

- I kept those books out...
- Oh, these are beautiful.

I wouldn't touch that. You know,
we got lead. I had it tested.

[SIGHS] Alright, this is it.
This is where the magic happens.

- This is so cool, Geoff.
- Right?

Now, listen, uh, couch opens up,
uh, make yourself comfy,

and, uh,
I'll... I'll make some tea.

You want a tea?

I'd love a beer.

Beer. Right on.
Okay. You're in luck.

I, uh, just made a fresh batch
of home brew. Cool.

- Hey, yo! Come meet my sister!
LAURA: Be right there!

LAURA ON PHONE: Anyway,
every time I tell him no,

I can feel him wantin' more.

I just can't believe this
itty-bitty Southern rant boy

is denyin'.

I gotta admit,
I like having the power.

Alright, yeah.

Yeah, thanks.

Same time tomorrow. Bye.

Where is she? Where is she?

- SAVANNAH: Hey.
- Oh, look at you.

Oh, Savannah.

Geoff's baby sister.

- I see your soul in your smile.
- Cool, you guys have met.

Look at this creature.
Just as you said.

I can't believe you made this.
That's so cool.

GEOFF: No. I'm good.
I'm getting good at this.

[LAUGHS] You're good
at everything, baby.

Mm, I heard the music
in the car.

- SAVANNAH: It is good. It is...
- Amazing, right?

It's so cool.
He's in his zone.

- I'm just writin' lyrics...
- Oh, she's just writing lyrics?

No, no, no, no.
This woman is turning my music

into, like,
these beautiful songs.

We're writing two, three songs
a day. It's insane.

- He's on fire.
- You're on fire.

- You're on fire, babe.
- We're on fire.

What's that?

Oh, it's just this thing I made.

I had an extra roll of duct tape
lying around.

- Wait a minute. Hold on.
- That's pretty cool.

Yeah. Just a thing you made?

That is not just a thing.

What is that?
Like magical unicorn backpack?

That is blowing my mind.

That's pure art.
That's, like, creative genius.

Don't, don't put
that stuff down. Right, baby?

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, yeah. No, fuck, yeah.

LAURA: Oh, you gotta take her
to Lee's party.

- You gotta go.
- Oh, we gotta go.

- We gotta go.
- Oh, yeah, first night.

- GEOFF: You're gonna come, right?
- Of course, yeah.

Anything you guys wanna do,
I'm open.

Are you gonna come?
She just got here.

And you've gotta come.
Come on.

We don't want you to come,
we need you to come.

- Alright, alright.
- We need you!

You're dragging me
into the celebration!

You're going to Lee's party!
Sav's moving to San Francisco!

- Yo, yo, what's up?
- Hey, Sav!

I put this on you.
We share clothes.

Oh, my God!
It looks amazing with your hair!

Oh, Samuel!

This is Geoff's sister,
Savannah.

Yeah, she's taking over
his old apartment.

Hey, I'm Sav.
Nice to meet you.

Twist & Scream poster
is on the wall.

GEOFF: Oh, shit!

LAURA: That's so beautiful.
That's our band. Yeah.

- So you're an artist?
- Yeah, yeah.

- What's your name?
- Sophie.

- Sophie. What kind of art?
- Yeah.

It's like conceptual.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

And the writing
has been amazing.

Finally not paying the rent
with phone sex.

And I'm getting some offers.
It's like...

Laura,
you say you did phone sex?

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

It's one of the more
creative jobs ever.

You know, you have to get
into the role play of it.

But as a writer,
it's in the madness

of creating a character,
you know what I mean? You're...

And then their attention
turns to Sophie?

Because
of her rinky-dink paintings?

I mean, I'm sorry,
but, like, she's getting that

'cause she's a cute girl
with a cute little fucking ass

and her cute little art.

Can you imagine
if they knew I was JT LeRoy?

Right?

If they knew I was a "New York
Times" bestselling author.

I mean, that's just so crazy.

- Yeah, well, then tell them.
- Geoff.

You know we can't do that.

LAURA: I got an idea.

What if I do go out
for some kind of disguise?

[GASPS] What's up?

You wanna keep a secret?

- What's this?
- It's my book "Sarah."

My shot at immortality.

SAVANNAH: Oh, so JT's
like your pen name?

- LAURA: More like my avatar.
- Who is this kid?

LAURA: That's just a photo
I found at a thrift store.

I loved it 'cause he looks like
a kid in a Dennis Cooper novel.

- I love Dennis Cooper.
- Of course, you do.

Oh!
Hey, do you know Mary Gaitskill?

Um, yeah, but I haven't...
I haven't read any of her stuff.

- I want to.
- Oh, you're gonna love it.

I'm just finishing
the Colette books right now.

My God, I remember
the first time I read Colette.

I'd feel so French and...

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

All this great writing
that comes from distress.

But it has beauty in it, too,
you know.

Like, ah, JT certainly had that.

Like, his grandparents were
fundamentalists, super sadistic.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Hey, let me know
what you think?

SAVANNAH: Of course, yeah.

LAURA ON PHONE: Hello.

Hi.

SAVANNAH: "It's my first day
on the lot.

I'm wearing
the golden Rapunzel wig

bestowed upon me
by my mother, Sarah,

the legendary beauty
and fiercest hooker

that ever did work
a truck stop down south.

In her high heels, I strut

between the long shimmering
lines of big rigs."

"Cash's hand is like the maw
of some big animal

as he opens it
revealing a raccoon penis bone.

The talisman that distinguishes
his asphalt girls

from all others.

The bigger the bone,
the more in demand

her soft girl material is.

If you didn't notice the
raccoon penis bone necklaces

and you didn't know
what that meant,

you'd never know
they were actually boys.

You got to earn that raccoon."

"The mob surrounds me.

Tearing at my lace,
ripping my hard-won finery.

"It's a goddamn boy,"
they yell.

Hungry jackals
begging at the moon

while chasing me
through the woods.

This is all I am.

A bloody glittering heart

thumping
under a bruised black sky,

refusing to let anyone tell me
who I'm supposed to be."

SAVANNAH ON PHONE: Found it
so beautiful.

It's crazy.

I've never read anything
like it

and it's really painful,
you know.

But like fucking magic
and I can't even...

I can't, like, think
of the right way to describe

how it makes me feel, honestly.

[CHUCKLES] Oh, my God,
that's so beautiful

to hear you talk about it
that way.

God, of course, you so get it.

I don't know if Geoff told you.

I was in such a dark place,
you know.

And it was... soul or spirit
or whatever you wanna call it

just... embodied me.

This Jeremiah...

Terminator LeRoy.

Jeremiah Terminator LeRoy.

[CHUCKLES] Wow.

LAURA: Then he started calling
this therapist

who told JT, "Hey, you should
write your story down."

And it's kind of amazing
sharing this with you

'cause, um,

when I first saw you,
I thought you looked like him.

- Huh?
LAURA: It's why I was just...

I wanted to ask you if I could
take a picture of you as him.

What do you... what do you mean?
Like...

LAURA: I'm... I've been JT
on the phone for years,

and people need to see him now.

I mean, I'm... a girl, you know.

[CHUCKLES] Just to state
the obvious.

No. No. That's what's beautiful.

He's androgynous, you know.

He's like, you know,
discovering his own identity.

Boy, girl. He's in disguise,
and I'd pay you 50 bucks.

It is for "Interview" magazine.

Sav, "Interview" magazine!

What do you think?

I mean, yeah, sure. Why not?

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Oh, really?
This is what it looks like?

- Yeah.
- Ew.

- Looks great.
- Okay.

So put your chin down.
Keep it tilted. Perfect.

Little bit to the right.
Now just give me eyes though.

A little bit. Perfect.

LAURA: Oh, my God,
I'm getting chills.

LAURA: [GASPS]
GEOFF: Sav, you look great.

LAURA: That's JT.
It's fucking perfect.

- You don't wanna do one more?
- Are you kidding me?

These are $12 a box. Let's go!

LAURA AS JT: I did it.

This is a whole new beginning
for me.

Like a whole new world.

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Here you go. You all good?

That hair looks good on you.

Thank you.

I was noticing your shoes.
I've never seen that.

Yeah. Free the toes
and the rest will follow.

[CHUCKLES]

You've been in here.
I've seen you in here.

You... do you live nearby?

Uh, pretty close. Mission.

- You?
- Uh, Soma.

Right.

If you need anything,
I'm gonna be working here

for the rest of the time
you'll be here, so...

- Okay.
SEAN: Okay.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

- Hello?
LAURA: Savannah, it's Laura.

Oh, my God, how are you?
Can you do it one more time?

LAURA: Hey, I'm JT LeRoy.

SAVANNAH: Hey, I'm JT LeRoy.

Hey, I'm JT LeRoy.

Hey, I'm JT LeRoy.

It's great.

I mean, it's one thing
taking a photo,

maybe saying like,
hey, I'm JT LeRoy,

but it's another thing
being him.

LAURA: No, no, no, first of all,
I did the interview already.

So it's not like he's trying
to talk to you, right?

He just wants to get
the picture.

And besides,
when you're meeting someone new,

would you ever question
who they say they are?

It's gonna be perfect. Here.

This is, uh,
an interview with JT

so you can listen
to the voice.

Oh, I've gotta show you.

There's this unbelievably, like,

hot as fuck actress

Eva Avelin from Europe.

The book is doing
really well there.

She's been calling JT
every night.

Just like obsessing

and we're finishing
each other's sentences.

SAVANNAH: Whoa.
LAURA: Yeah.

You want a cookie?

Oh, no, cookies produce curves.
I can't do it.

LAURA: Wh... what? You can't,
like, eat cookies and be goth?

I'm... [LAUGHS] I'm not goth.

- Just skinny?
- No, not necessarily.

Just... just no... curves.

Is that why
you're, like, binding it up

and wearing sports bras
all the time?

That's perfect for JT.

Get rid of the boobs,
you're already there.

[LAUGHS] Yeah.

WOMAN 1 ON RADIO: Today,
I'm speaking with JT LeRoy,

the young writer of "Sarah,"

a bestselling novel
based on his experience

as the son of a prostitute

who worked truck stops
in the south.

JT, your mother used to pass you
off as her younger sister?

LAURA AS JT ON RADIO: Yeah.
I mean, um, Sarah,

she knew that Johns didn't like
having a boy around,

so she made it
two pretty girls

'cause she knew that'd get
twice the attention.

Sav, you're... you're cool
with this, right? I mean...

Y... you don't have to do it
if you don't want to.

Yeah, no, no, totally.
I'm into it.

WOMAN 1: Did your mother expect
you to engage in prostitution?

LAURA AS JT: I mean, she didn't
force me or nothin', but...

I mean, she didn't force me
or nothin'...

I don't quite understand it
100%, but, like...

Yeah, it's, uh,
it's... complicated.

- LAURA AS JT: I loved dressin'...
- I loved dressin' up.

- LAURA AS JT: Puttin' on clothes.
- Puttin' on clothes.

- Turnin' into someone else.
- Turnin' into someone else.

GEOFF: Look, Laura is on the
phone all the time as JT,

but she also pretends to be
his manager, Speedie.

- And she deemed me Astor.
- Astor?

Yeah, Astor's like
Speedie's boyfriend

and we saved JT
from the streets.

You know, we're like this
happy family and shit.

LAURA AS JT: My books
are fiction.

I mean, I tell stories,
but sometimes

the lies are more true
than the truth.

True than the truth.

Sometimes the lie
is more true than the truth.

GEOFF: Trust me, this whole
thing is crazy for me too.

I mean, didn't expect
to be moving in

with a teenage male prostitute

and an obnoxious
loud British woman.

Obnoxious loud British woman?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's... that's Speedie.

LAURA AS SPEEDIE: Well, hello,
you right little bugger.

I thought
you weren't gonna show.

Ready for the shoot?

Bruce, this is JT!

- Hi, JT.
SPEEDIE: Say, hello.

SAVANNAH AS JT: Hi.

He... he gets a bit nervous.

And also, by the way, he don't
like to be touched, alright?

Alright, so I give you
full permission.

Poke around, find your shot,
but, like, in this room.

BRUCE: Oh, hey, JT, I'm so glad
that we could make this work.

Hey, uh, bought this
from you online.

And I know how much
you like chocolate.

What? Nothin' for the handler?
I like it too. [LAUGHS]

BRUCE: Great room.
SPEEDIE: Great.

SPEEDIE: My sister's
got great taste.

So, JT, why you don't tell me
where, uh, you two guys live?

- Uh, I live in, um...
- Tenderloin.

SAVANNAH AS JT: Yeah.
Over there.

Oh, cool. There we go.

You know, um, if you can get
that Twist & Scream poster in.

That's me sister's band
and JT loves it.

You'd like that, right?

BRUCE: I think we need
to loosen up a little bit.

- Oh! Loosen up?
- Yeah, we do.

Shake up them muscles,
let go, lovey.

- You like that?
BRUCE: Great, great.

I got an idea.
Why don't you, um...

Just try standing on this.

I'm not really a skater,
so it's kind of weird.

BRUCE: Okay, how about, um...

SPEEDIE: You know what?
Wait, um...

I've got, uh...

JT loves makeup.

What about a lipstick? Right?

You wanna put
some lipstick on, love?

In the mirror?
It could be good, right?

BRUCE: Yeah, let's try
if we can get it right.

Let's, uh... This is nice.

SPEEDIE: Do you like it?

BRUCE: Good. Really nice.

BRUCE: Slowly now, pretty.
SPEEDIE: Nice!

I'm just, I'm worried, sorry,
that... that skateboard is...

- Speedie, you're in the shot.
- Oh, sorry.

Alright, come on out.
Come on out.

Good. Beautiful, JT.

Beautiful. Beautiful.
Beautiful.

- That's alright.
- I'm just gonna take a leak.

Okay.

Yeah, I think he's done.

Oh, I just...
I only shot one roll.

SPEEDIE: Oh, no, no, love,
you don't know

how fortunate you are
to get the shot at all.

You're the first person
who's ever taken his photo.

Yeah, no. I mean, he's been in
the house for like three months.

- I know, but he's delicate...
- Hey, JT.

What do you say we do
a couple more, huh?

Well...

SPEEDIE: JT, you...

Yeah.
No, I think we're done, Bruce.

Thank you for understanding.

But I bet
you've got a great shot, right?

Thank you, JT, for your time.
It was a real pleasure.

SPEEDIE: You did great.

- Speedie.
SPEEDIE: Alright.

SPEEDIE: Thank you, Bruce.
BRUCE: Thank you.

SPEEDIE: Yeah,
I'm sure it will be great.

And, um,
we'll see the shots soon.

BRUCE: Great. Okay.
SPEEDIE: Alright then.

LAURA: You were looking great.
SAVANNAH: Disaster vibes.

- You were great.
- Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

Sorry?
What are you talking about?

I can't do that accent. He could
so see that I was a girl.

- I could see him looking at me.
- Not at all.

He never suspected anything.
It was the opposite.

He wanted you to go home
with him. Fuck, you were great.

And playing Speedie
was so cool, right?

Like not giving a fuck
what anybody thinks of you.

You just say whatever the fuck's
on your mind. I love her.

What about when you answered
every question for me?

It was, like, so obvious.

No, that's so JT.
He's nervous.

He can't speak for himself.
That was perfect.

Oh, Sav, trust me.

I learned about this
from my phone sex days.

You establish yourself
as someone else, right?

You can do that.
Then drop the accent

and nobody even notices.

And he's illusive.

That's part of the mystery
and people love mystery.

I almost puked when I walked in.

Ugh, that's so JT.

That was what was so perfect.

He looked nauseous
and nervous and awkward.

Oh, my God, on Friday night,
we've got the reading

and, you know, there are
all these fabulous people

that will show up and read for
him 'cause he's never there.

What if you just showed up
and just, like, hyperventilate,

run out
like he's gonna throw up?

- No way! Mm.
- Yes way!

I can't. It was sickening.

That's that feeling.
That's what's so beautiful.

It's that feeling we all get
like right before

we do something important.

[LAURA SIGHS]

You know what?
Don't worry about it.

I can get somebody else
next time.

I gotta go 'cause Geoff and I
have band practice.

[SIGHS] Shit. I'm late.

I'm just gonna go like this.
Okay, Sav, here.

- Oh, thanks. I...
- As promised, love.

LAURA: Thank you,
ta very much!

- Oh, my God, that was so fun.
- See you.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

WOMAN 2: Thank you.

Uh, JT actually
isn't feeling well

so I'm sorry to say he won't
be joining us after all.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

WOMAN 3: I told you. This is
some sort of hoax. Right?

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

- Hello?
LAURA: Sav.

LAURA: Can you come over
tonight? I have big news.

[GASPS] Oh, my God.
Get in here.

You're not gonna believe
what I'm gonna tell you.

Are you ready?

A Hollywood producer

wants to make "Sarah"
into a movie.

What? No way.
Are you serious?

Can you imagine?
"Sarah" on the big screen?

I... Yeah, yeah.
That would be epic.

JT can do his thing
and say, you know,

"Hey, I'm an agoraphobe who just
wants his autonomy respected."

But... I don't think so.

I think this is too big
an opportunity.

I mean, you... us tonight?

No, no, silly. This weekend.

In LA.

We'd stay at her house.

There's a party, a reading,
a photoshoot.

Come on, it will be fun.

No, just 'cause I... I'm working
this weekend.

That's... that's the only thing.

Sweet girl.

I know
the photoshoot was intense.

Right? It was a... it was a lot.

But, Sav,
there was a light in you.

And I... I felt him

leave my body and enter yours.

I mean, I was in high school

when, I don't know,
he's turning tricks.

Am I interesting enough
to, like, be him?

What? You are interesting!

Are you kidding me?
Sav, you're incredible.

I don't, like, hate myself.
I just... that's so different.

I think you gotta think
about this differently.

I mean, we're talking Warhol,

Ziggy Stardust, Grace Jones.

What if you wake up one morning

and say I wanna be
somebody else?

That's what they did.
They didn't wait for permission.

Well, yeah,
I... I know that feeling.

I knew I wanted to be
an artist, right?

'Cause I was like,
"I wanna have a life!

I don't wanna live in a fuckin'
cubicle 9:00 to fucking 5:00.

That's not who I am."

Fine. Fine. Spend my life.
"Hello, hi. Wanna fuck?"

Doing phone sex
for the rest of my life? No.

I'm a writer.

I spent my 20s and 30s
waiting for somebody

to discover me,
somebody to give me permission?

Nobody gives you anything.
You have to take it.

Are you gonna take it?

You've got all these selves
inside of you. Explore them.

This is your time.
Find out who the fuck you are.

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

- Oh, shit.
- Are we out of chips?

Oh, God,
we ate three bags of chips?

I'm gonna be sweating
potato chips.

LAURA: [LAUGHS] Don't worry.
no food tomorrow,

but we need the sweet
with the salty.

- I don't.
- Secret stash.

- Chocolate.
- I'm okay.

- You don't want?
SAVANNAH: Unh-unh.

LAURA: Hey, tell me
about this boy.

Sean? What about him?

Well... you date men?

Uh, sometimes.

If they're as cute as he is,
I do. But I'm open.

I like girls, obviously.

I can't go
to any more Dyke nights.

It makes me so uncomfortable.

It's so embarrassing.

The music's so awful and...

Did Geoff ever tell you
I pretended to be a dyke

when we first met?

No. Why?

LAURA: 'Cause he was
so good-looking.

Well, I wanted to know
if he liked me for me.

SAVANNAH: Aww.

Test the waters and not be
the fat girl swooning.

[LAUGHS] Hey.

I was 100 pounds

fatter than I am now.

Oh, I didn't realize that.

Good thing I'm not terrified
of the knife.

But I've been with women before.

Especially in the group home.

How was that?

Sex was amazing.

No, I mean, the group home.

Oh. Rough.

But it gave me the tough skin
I live in.

You know, I used to sneak out
at night

and call suicide hotlines
for help,

and I could never... be me.

I'd create characters,
usually boys.

Some of them didn't make it,
but JT...

JT kept calling.

And it felt so good
to not have to be in this body.

You know, to be as far away
from it as possible.

I get that.

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

JT. Oh, my God.

JT.

Oh, my God. It's so good
to finally meet you.

- This is amazing.
SASHA: Right?

SPEEDIE: JT,
keep writing them books.

Maybe you'll get a house
like this.

Oh, no, JT, the real money's
in screenwriting.

You should write me a part.
A cool part.

- I could play a lot lizard.
- Oh.

You already got an actor.

SASHA: The guest bedroom's
this way.

SPEEDIE: Don't think
we've been in... a guest room.

It's amazing.
Oh, my God. What a house.

Thank you.

Oh, and JT brought you
a little prezzie.

Aww.

Not really from Neiman Marcus.

I stole that bag out of my
neighbor's recycling, but...

[LAUGHS]

SASHA: Oh, little mini onions.

How cute.

And baked beans.

Oh, God. I need one of these.

Those are great, right?

SPEEDIE: I love that, um,
and you're quite good at that.

That's all I'm gonna say.

Oh, and JT wrote all the lyrics

to our band's songs,
Twist & Scream.

Thought you'd love it.

SASHA: Oh, that's so cool.

JT, did you get that book
I sent you?

Yeah, we loved it.

Yeah, yeah. It's real good.

SASHA: JT, what are you wearing?

[LAUGHS]

What... what is going on?

What's happening
to all the money?

It's not much money though yet.

Why do you keep answering
for him?

He's a deaf mute.

[LAUGHING]

That's the way it feels because
he hates talkin' about money,

hates business talk.

You know,
it's like art, art, art.

Keep it pure.

I mean, we're two orphans, fuck,
who found each other.

I don't know these things
either, so you're right.

That's great advice.
We need a guide, you know.

I'll... I'll get someone.

Okay, alright, Oliver Twist.

[LAURA CHUCKLES]

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Come on.

- Hi, David.
- Oh, my God.

JT, listen to this trying
to emulate the icons.

If I have to talk
to all of JT's friends as JT...

We work off each other.
You're perfect.

LAURA: Totally trust yourself.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

JT, you okay?

LAURA: JT's a genius
and Sav's a genius.

Don't you ever forget that.

SASHA: The bacon-wrapped dates
are amazing.

SPEEDIE: Oh, we don't eat pork.

SAVANNAH AS JT: Oh, yeah, I was
just being polite, but, yeah.

LAURA: If you don't understand
a reference, just go with it.

Do what I do.
Hang a lantern on it.

What is... what is that?

MAN 1: You're so funny
with the sunglasses, JT.

Do you ever take them off?

If it's obvious,
make it more obvious.

Let 'em see these beauties.

SASHA: Your eyes
are so beautiful.

LAURA: It's like those
Chinese finger puzzles.

You go in further to get out.

Baby, we're at play
in the fields of the Lord.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Look, there's Eva Avelin.

She's dying to do "Sarah."

To direct and star in it.

JT? Hi, uh, John Bradwell.

We loved the piece
you did on JT!

- Thoughtful, investigative.
- Wow.

Really a great piece. It's so
great that you did that.

Um, I'm still living
in San Francisco,

so if you wanted to meet up and
continue that conversation...

Yeah, definitely.
I'm just gonna go. Just grab...

JOHN: Right. Okay.

EVA: JT.

Oh, Eva. Hey.

[SIGHS] Enfin.

You are here at last.

Um, I'm here. Pretty sure.

How's the snail story
coming along?

- Good.
- Excuse me one second.

Does the snail still have
a visage brute?

- Um...
- Visage brute.

Sorry, I'm Speedie.

JT was just tellin' me
about that,

uh, ugly face or somethin'.
I love it! [CHUCKLES]

- Just give us a minute?
- Like a title.

Oh. Sure.

You staying here?

Um, mm-hmm.
I'm just in that room there.

Okay, cool.

Just kind of worried about you
staying at some hotel,

running off
and getting into trouble.

[CHUCKLES] I don't really get
in that kind of trouble anymore.

Mm-hmm. You have trouble
written all over you.

Oh, my God.
You're so fucking cute.

Why are you so shy?
Soak up the attention.

Everybody's here for you.

Yeah, it's crazy.

[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

Alright. Find me at the bar?

- Okay.
- Okay.

Oh, hey, Eva, is... are you gonna
be at the reading tomorrow?

Baby, what are you talking
about? I'm one of the readers.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Well, I was... I was thinkin'...

Fuck.

♪ Who took the bomp?

[ROCK MUSIC]

Shake it out.

Look at that!

♪ Every day and night

♪ Every day and night

♪ I can see
your disco disco dick ♪

♪ Is sucking my heart
out of my mind ♪

♪ I'm out of time
I'm out of fucking time ♪

♪ I'm a gasoline gut
with a Vaseline mind ♪

♪ But wanna disco?
Wanna see me disco? ♪

♪ Let me hear you
depoliticize my rhyme ♪

♪ One two three four

♪ You got what you been
asking for ♪

♪ Is alright alright alright
alright alright alright ♪

JT? So sorry to bother you.

I, um...

I just wanted to tell you

how much your work means to me.

I was on the streets
for a while too.

When I read your book,
I was like, "Someone gets me."

Your voice means a lot.

Thank you.

Do you see that? Huh?

Your work, you're helping
people. It's beautiful.

♪ On your knees who does your
who does your hair? ♪

Thank you.

It looks nice.

Come to Paris. Okay?

SPEEDIE: JT?

JT!

Au revoir.

♪ One two three four

♪ Who took the Bomp
from the Bompalompalomp? ♪

♪ Who took the Ram
from the Ramalamading-dong? ♪♪

SAVANNAH AS JT: I feel alive
for the first time in my life.

LAURA ON PHONE: Sav,
you're never gonna believe this.

JT's French publishers
are flying us to Paris

for a press conference.

SAVANNAH: Holy fucking shit.

Get the fuck out of here.

I can't believe
this is happening.

LAURA: And Eva's throwing
the after party!

[CHUCKLES] Okay,
I kind of gotta go.

I'll talk to you...
I'll call you tomorrow.

LAURA: Okay, bye.

- You making us a headband?
- Yeah.

- Cute.
- Thanks.

So I have to go to Paris

in, like, two weeks.

- Shit!
- Yeah.

Wow. That's...
What... what for?

Um, Laura has some work there,
so, like, I'll assist her.

She needs some help.

- That's so cool.
- Yeah.

- Have you ever been?
- Mnh-mnh.

- No?
- Mnh-mnh. Have you?

Pfft! I wish.

Well, where's my invite?

[CHUCKLES]

If you're gonna fit
in my backpack, you can come.

Oh, I can fit
in very small places.

[LAUGHS]

I'll miss you.

Yeah, I'll miss you too.

LAURA AS JT ON PHONE: Eva.

You haven't taken it off?
Really?

I love that.

You know I can't stop.

You got my bone
around your neck.

But you started it.

I can't wait
to see you again too.

Oh, okay. Alright.
Call me right back.

They sent enough money
for first-class tickets.

I mean, we'll go coach
and pocket the rest,

but I tried to get
another ticket for Astor

and they just won't budge.

So I figured
we'll just buy one if...

Yeah, w... w... why would I
wanna go to Europe?

We have a recording session
next week.

Yeah, we have
a recording session next week.

I know, babe.
I figured we'd move it

and it'd give you
a little more time

to work on the music,
refine things.

I mean, we're gonna be
just jamming through that press.

It will be a nightmare
and I know

you hate that whole world,
anyways, so...

Yeah, you know, I don't exactly
wanna be the caboose

on the JT train, but...

Laura, we... we're in a band,
you know.

Like, that's our pack.
It... it's a band, it's a bond.

Hey, what do we always say?

By any means...

Necessary. Yeah, for the band.

For the music.

It is for the music.

How... how is this for the music?

Babe, JT's gonna plug the shit
out of this band.

Are you kidding?
It's massive worldwide press.

And I'm, like, this close to us
getting a review in "Spin."

I mean,
Madonna sent us Kabbalah books.

Madonna is in our world!
[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Yeah, that's great, Laura.
No, really great.

Yeah, what world are you in?

LAURA AS JT ON PHONE: Hey, Eva.

Yeah.

Yeah, I gotta have
creative control.

It's my life.

I'm the only one who knows...

Look, I get it. You wanna go
to Europe, you know.

It's... it's cool.

Of course.

I mean, the only thing
is you don't think

what we're doing
is totally fucked, right?

No, no. I mean... No, right?

I mean, I guess
technically it's lying.

Like, on paper,
we're... lying to people,

but I f... feel like...

It feels like
I'm making something.

Like, it feels
like a performance

and, like, I'm so compelled
to do it.

I... I love that feeling.

I've wanted
that feeling forever,

and I never knew really what was
gonna give me that, you know.

You have it. You play guitar.
You've played since you were 12.

I see your face when you do it.
Like... It's that feeling.

Guess I'm really good
at pretending to be

a feral 19-year-old street kid.

That's not weird, right?

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

No.

Oh, man.

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[ANNOUNCEMENT IN FRENCH]

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

How was your flight? Alright?

LAURA AS SPEEDIE: JT's hungry.

ISABELLE: You did not indulge
in the first-class fair?

Bugger slept the whole flight.
Maybe some eggs.

ISABELLE: Um, we don't have
much time.

He loves eggs,
so if we can grab...

It's okay, go.
First time in Paris?

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

Fucking take my...
Fuckin' French.

SPEEDIE: Quite mature trees,
aren't they?

You never see that in America.

It's gorgeous.

Europe, I love it.
You know, it's fantastic.

LAURA: I'm gonna barf.

I can't believe
they wouldn't stop for eggs.

I can't live off snacks.

You need to be my advocate
and speak up.

- We'll never eat.
- Sorry.

You'll have to take
the jacket off too.

We gotta see
the whole band name.

I mean, you can see it.
You can see it.

No, no, it's promotion.
It's good for Geoff.

- EVA: JT!
- Take...

[GASPS]
Ah!

Hello.

- Hi.
- Hey.

- Hey, Speedie.
SPEEDIE: Eva.

You look gorgeous as usual.

How are you? What's up?
You nervous?

- Yeah, of course.
- Don't be.

You look great.
I love your jacket.

Hey. You'll be fuckin' great.

I'm so proud of you, baby.

[WHISPERS]
I have something for you.

SPEEDIE: Alright.
Um, should we...

You know what, I think
it's best I come with you.

So that we can check the venue
and...

So you gave me your talisman.

I'm gonna give you mine.

Belonged to my grandfather.

Ah.

Well... it's incredible.

But I shouldn't accept that,
you know.

Yes, you should.

[ISABELLE SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
We have to go.

[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

[ALL CHEERING]

JT!

Hi.

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

Your mother put you
through some awful situations.

How does she feel about
your expose of her behavior?

Um...

Sh... she's not, um...

with us anymore.

S... so, um, I don't really know.

MAN 2: [SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
We cannot hear you, JT!

Ah, you can't hear me, um...
[CLEARS THROAT]

I...

I was just sayin' that, um...

my... my mom isn't here anymore,

and... also the books
are fiction, so, yeah.

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

WOMAN 4: JT? [SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

ISABELLE: You wrote
on your website

that writing
is your... your lifesaver.

I... it's painful,
um, but I need it.

ISABELLE: What did
your friends think?

SAVANNAH AS JT: The truth
in fiction...

WOMAN 5: JT, why do you tend
to avoid public events?

Just, um, protection,
I think and...

[WOMAN SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

ISABELLE: Speak to your choice
of wearing

a quote-unquote disguise.

Anonymity's kind of like
losing your virginity.

But they are based on your real
experiences, right, JT?

Fiction's sort of a lie

but can be more true
than the truth.

MAN 3: JT, you sound
like a woman to me,

but you insist you are a man.

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

Uh...

You know, it's not really
my responsibility

to help lead you
through your own discomfort

on how I make you feel. Um...

I can be whomever I wanna be.

EVA: Fuck, yeah!

Um, and as for sounding
like a woman,

um, well, I'd say thank you.

[LAUGHS]

But, JT, are you really
who you say you are?

Are you really
who you say you are?

I...

I can't really tell.
Are you a man?

[LAUGHS] Prove your masculinity
right now!

Pull your cock out!

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

Alright. Uh, it's done.

It's done.

It's done.

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

[APPLAUSE]

You know what I mean?
That's the key.

In America, it's different.

In America...

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Super cool.

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

ISABELLE: JT?

This young man would love
for you to sign his book.

Bonjour, JT.

SPEEDIE: Eva? Eva...

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

Eva.

Uh, I need to take JT back
to the hotel now.

- We need a proper meal.
- Nonsense.

Nah, he's drinking too much.

And I can't stand
all this smoke.

Speedie, come on.

Stop interfering with his life
all the time.

She's interfering with my life,
actually.

Excuse me.

JT, let's go back to the hotel.

I'm not ready to go yet.

Well, this place is filled
with toxicity. Let's go.

I play in the fields
of the Lord, remember?

My words!

EVA: See you later, Speedie!

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

[INDISTINCT SONG]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Ennio!

This look is perfect.

[INDISTINCT MUMBLING]

It's our favorite song.

Oh, right.

Sorry.

What's up, JT?
Where are you?

I'm...

I'm totally right here.

I'm just...

just tired, you know.

Hi.

Hi.

[CHUCKLES]

You have a very different vibe
than on the phone.

Yeah, I'm...

I'm so jetlagged.

[EXHALES]

What's the deal with you
and Speedie? Huh?

I mean, you barely give
each other room to breathe.

She's so obnoxious.

I know she's your friend.
I'm sorry, but...

I know it seems weird
from the outside, but, um...

I mean, I wouldn't even exist
without her.

What?

I don't really wanna
go there, but...

where are we with the option
for the film?

Um...

I just, you know, I'd be
so fuckin' honored to direct it

and play your mother.

She's, you know,
she's such a character

obsessed with her own downfall.

I... you know,
I've always just related

to that kind of woman, you know.

And I really think
it's important to show

how... how you absorbed her pain,
you know.

I wanna do it justice.

I probably need, like,
full control of the script.

You know,
'cause it's my life, but...

Deal.

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

You're so beautiful.

[MOANING]

Oh, baby.

[DOOR OPENS]

[SAVANNAH SNIFFLES]

[SAVANNAH SIGHS]

- SAVANNAH: Hey.
- Oh.

It's the famous JT.

So, JT Leroy, tell me.

How do you have time to write

your amazing
bestselling books, huh?

Because it seems like you just
stay out all night partying!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know.

What were you doing?

I thought it was earlier.

You can't go out so long
without me

and you're drinking.

Who knows what you said?

The whole thing
could have fallen apart.

I secured full creative control

over the script,
so there's that.

- What?
SAVANNAH: Yeah.

Well, I didn't ask you
to do that.

But I...

I mean, that's good news.

W... what'd she say?

I mean, how did that go?
I need to know everything.

I gotta get on the phone
right away

and make sure
she said what she meant and...

I would love to know what
you talk about on the phone.

If I knew what you talked
about on the phone,

maybe I wouldn't sound like
a stammering idiot around her.

I need more to talk about
than stuff I read in interviews.

I want her to feel...

me. Like...

Oh, my God.

Did you fuck her?

It's Chinese finger puzzle,
right?

You go further in to get out?

[SIGHS] The fuck.

Savy! Goddammit!

It's not as bad as you think,
honestly.

- It's not even like that...
- Savy!

Are you fucking kidding me?

Baby girl,
she doesn't want you.

Okay? She wants the person
she talked to on the phone.

She wants JT.

In fact, [LAUGHS]
she doesn't even want that!

She wants the fucking rights
to the movie!

Oh, I'm being mean.

I just hate myself.
I binged all night.

I was worried.

I need you here
to keep me on track.

I just... oh, God.

Goddammit!

Don't you think
this is ridiculous?

You should write as you.

Savy... come on.

You're out of it.

Nobody listens to me as me.

SAVANNAH: They listen to you
as JT.

But the... JT doesn't exist,
you know.

He's not real.

I mean, he's super real
for some people, you know.

Like... personal.

- SAVANNAH: I see it.
- Is it real for them?

And I got left.

I got tricked...

and put in a mental home
for grownups.

Abused.

Used up by... [SOBS] my mom.

I was that kid...
and it is real.

I didn't say it wasn't.

- That's not what I'm saying.
- You're so mean.

You are so manipulative.

You don't have to do that
with me.

I'm the last person
you have to do that with.

We're in Paris...

because of me...

because of my writing...

because of my genius.

I'm glad you know how to put
an outfit together...

but all you do is show up.

Oh, I... I don't inhabit him,
he doesn't inhabit me,

he doesn't leap out
of your body into mine?

We're not making
something together?

All this bullshit
that you say to me

to get me to do this crazy shit!

No, no, no,
if all I do is show up,

honestly, why don't I fucking
go ahead and stop showing up?

[EXHALES]

[WATER RUNNING]

Stop being a drama queen!

SAVANNAH AS JT: I feel lost
in a limitless hall

of desire and longing.

What was I thinkin'?

[MUSIC ON TAPE]

Hey. I have to tell you
something.

[SIGHS]

- What?
- Yeah.

- Sav.
- Ah.

I've seen pictures of JT.

- I bet.
- Yeah, and I read "Sarah."

- I know.
- I never connected the dots.

I noticed that.

Wow, um, okay, so wait.

When you, when you talk
to people in person,

they... they don't notice
that it's not Laura's voice?

And they all think
that you're a boy.

It's like "The Emperor's New
Clothes" kind of deal, you know.

Every time someone questions it,
Laura just throws it

right back on them
and is like, what do you mean

the Emperor has no clothes?
That's his very best outfit.

I mean...

I... I wanted to tell you.

I just think I really valued
the secret of it

and... wanted to protect her.

I would just fucking die
if I, like...

ruined that for her and...

Yeah.

This is literally the craziest
thing I've ever heard.

I'm really not sure if I should,
like, ask more questions

or, I don't know, run away.

- Run out of here?
- Yeah.

Am I terrible?

- I mean...
- Also, it's over.

I'm not... I'm not
gonna do it anymore.

Which is why
it was, like, a lot easier

to tell you this, to be honest.

You're not gonna do it anymore?

No.

♪ If I could be

♪ What you wanted

♪ If you wanted

♪ Come and...
♪ Be my...

Come and be my one?

♪ ...be what you wanted ♪

LAURA AS JT ON PHONE: No,
it's not that I don't want to.

I've just been... I feel like
if I leave the house,

I'm gonna fall into old habits.

No, I know.

Dennis, I know you know,

but... I... I feel stuck.

No, I really wanna go, Jason.

I do.

I just, um...

For my health,

I need to focus on me right now.

I know it's probably
not something I should relive,

but... I mean,

it's like, they're makin'
a movie on my life.

Well, they keep asking me
to come down to the set and...

Yeah.

No, but how do I say
no to that?

Yeah, Eva and I have been,

um, having phone sex lately
and...

Dr. Owen,
I know it's not healthy, but...

the heart wants
what the heart wants, right?

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

- Hey.
SAVANNAH: Hey.

SAVANNAH: How you doin'?

- LAURA: Is that Sav?
- I'm okay.

Yeah, it's Sav!

LAURA: Oh, my God. Get her
in here. It's like Christmas.

Look at all this stuff
that JT gets for free.

Thank God you're here, you guys.
Start taking stuff.

Here, Astor, bowties.

- LAURA: Look at those!
- What? No.

Did you tell her about Astor
doing the music for the movie?

Yeah, well, Laura's been
speaking to Eva about,

well, maybe, right,
you know, doing the...

the score for the whole movie,
so...

Definitely. I'm talking to her.
We're gonna push this through!

How is she doin'?

LAURA: She's good.
She's really good.

I mean, she's, uh,
I think, overwhelmed.

You know,
it's a lot making a movie.

She said she wants JT to design

an outfit for her
to wear in the movie.

Oh, my God, this is beautiful.

You gotta try this.

Look at that on... Oh, please.

Anzevino's been sending
all this stuff.

- Like, he sent all this fabric.
- It's really nice.

LAURA: He wants to support
JT the designer.

Hey, do you think
I could talk to her?

LAURA: Uh...

I just got an e-mail.
You wanna see it?

I just got one from her.

I just... I think talking to her
would be hard

'cause we're talking so much
and it might get a little mucky,

but, um... So, Jacqueline.

"Please, please,
please come to Tennessee.

Baby boy, I miss your soft lips.

I dream of your skin."

I love this.

"I wanna pull on your hair
like a horse's mane."

She is so into your pheromones.
I love that.

I mean, you're talking to her
as me, you know. Like...

Yeah. I mean...

I'm talking to her as JT.

We had, like, a thing.
Like a real thing.

It wasn't bullshit, it wasn't...

I... I know that.

Sav, you're as much
a part of JT as me.

That's the truth.

Not some adolescent
talking to you in Paris,

saying dumb shit...

because she was jealous

and felt left out and lonely.

I'm s... I'm so sorry.

It's embarrassing.

And the Eva thing actually

turned out to be great.

Why shouldn't you wanna be
intimate with her?

Oh, my God. And you guys
have this connection, so...

This is crazy.

LAURA: And this whole
Tennessee thing.

I don't know what to do.
I mean, it would be great

for Astor to go
'cause of the music, and I...

You know, she really wants us
to be on set

and see the experience,
but I... I don't know

if you wanna be JT again.

That's... that's for you
to decide.

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

It's the wardrobe.

Makeup.

EVA: Well, well, well!

Hi there, baby boy!

Ain't this a pretty little thing
that JT made for me?

Everything looks real good.

Aw. Thank you, honey pie.

Hey there, mama.

Hey, Speedie.

Oy. There's your music man.

- Hey.
- Oh, hey. Astor.

Oh, my God,
I'm so glad you're here.

It's been a fucking nightmare.

It's just been me
and these fucking idiots.

Honestly, I have to fight
for everything.

[EXHALES]

You know what, Speedie?

I kind of understand, you know,
what you're going through

with this little rascal
over here.

You know, keeping him close

and fed and out of mischief.

I mean, it's exactly
what I'm going through

on this fucking set.
You have no idea.

All these men,
it's like herding cats.

They all need attention,
they all need to express

their opinions to me.

Honestly, would they treat
a male director like this?

I don't think so.

You know, I'm JT's mother,
I'm the movie's mother,

I'm the fucking world's mother.
It's exhausting.

But you're doing okay though,
right?

[EVA SIGHS]

Baby, I'm so happy you're here.

You know, you ground me.
Calm me down.

I gotta finish this scene.
Gotta be perfect, right?

Gotta be better than the guys.

- Eva, we need you on the set.
- John.

I told you this is not the right
place that we're gonna put this.

- EVA: What?
- She looks fucking wrecked.

Fuck.

[SIGHS]

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

I can't describe
what I'm feeling.

It's like this...

deja vu feeling.

But I feel like I'm home.

JT...

and Eva, that was so spooky.

Looking at Sarah.

You know, like all these things
she's picking up on.

I've never ever told
anybody about it.

All about S... Sarah,

my best friend
in the group home.

It's like looking right at her.

Art is...

eerie shit, man.

SAVANNAH: This is so crazy.

I have to tell Eva the truth.

GEOFF: Are you sure?

- Baby.
- Hey.

Oh, hey, I'm so glad you came.

Can you believe
it's all happening?

- It's crazy.
- Right?

You doing okay? A little bit
better from earlier?

Yeah, I'm sorry about that,
I just...

I had the worst fucking day.

- But it's all gonna be...
- JT!

EVA: Sit down,
I'm gonna get you a drink.

Hey, nice to fucking
meet you in person.

- Yeah. Hey.
- Hey.

BEN: I am so excited
to be in your fucking movie.

EVA: He knows that already,
silly.

BEN: Uh, I've never
a... acted in anything,

and it's so cool.

You're doing a really good job.

- So is it, like, weird for you?
- What?

Like seeing your whole life
recreated and shit?

Uh, yeah, it's weird.

BEN: I... I've been working on
that song we were talkin' about.

Hmm, play it.

[GUITAR MUSIC]

♪ I told you to tell me

♪ To sign on the dotted line

♪ Anytime I gotta sell
my soul for the... ♪♪

BEN: Did we settle on first
or second? I... I can't remember.

[SCOFFS]

- First.
- Yeah.

EVA: You gotta get that
recorded, baby, you know,

so it's ready
for the soundtrack.

BEN: I... I'm gonna.

It's really cool that, uh,

Astor's got some stuff
for the soundtrack too.

Oh, my God, JT.

I really can't talk
about this again.

I'm sorry, babe.

I am thinkin' about it.

Okay.

Remember, babe,
that scene tomorrow

that I was talkin' about
earlier?

When you see Jeremiah
in the... in the basement?

You know, I know I was gonna
shoot it with the dolly,

remember I was telling you about
earlier?

But I feel like,

I feel like
I need to shoot it handheld...

You mind if I take a shower?
I've just been like

runnin' around all day.
I feel really dirty.

EVA: It's over there.

I think it'd be much cooler...

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

BEN: Hey.

EVA: You're not helping.
BEN: I'm helping you.

Stop! Stop it.

EVA: I'm tired, let's go.
Oh, my God.

Hey. It's so late, babe.
Just crash here.

This is actually super comfy.
Manson stayed on it last week.

We're gonna go to bed,
I'm so fucking tired.

- Night, JT.
- Goodnight.

- Goodnight.
- Hey.

[SIGHS]

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

LAURA: She's not
really quitting, right?

I mean...

she'll come around, huh?

- We're a team.
- No, baby, no.

Look, I'm sorry, I gotta set
a boundary here, okay?

Either you stop...

or I'm out.

Hey.

You know what that means for me?

Okay, it's done.

Okay.

Okay.

[EDM MUSIC]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[SIGHS]

- Mm-hmm?
- Mm-hmm.

Alright, look, I gotta jet.

I'll be back soon, okay?

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

LAURA: Don't worry,
I'll get back to writin'.

No, trust me, you.

I can't really answer that, Dot.

They said don't exist, so...

I'm not even talkin' to you
right now, right?

When shit that's this bleak...

You have no idea
where I could go,

what I could do to myself.

You have no idea.

JT.

I...

I think you've got
the wrong person,

but I'll send your server over.

[CHUCKLES] Okay.

LAURA: Jason, no, I don't...

What?

Really? That's crazy.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

LAURA: Just trying to cut me
down, say I don't exist.

And I'm out there,
say I'm workin' in a restaurant

when I'm here talkin' to you...

LAURA: Eva, why would you
for one second

listen to some dumb rumor?

Rumors have been circling me
for years.

I mean, come on,
you know my spirit,

my soul, my art.

We're creative partners.

You gotta trust me on this.

How can I pro...

The premiere...

[SIGHS] Of course,
I wanna come, but...

you know how hard
travel is on me.

Yeah, okay, I get it, I get...

I... I'll go.

I'll be there.

[SIGHS]

- SEAN: Everything okay?
- Yeah.

Was that Laura?

I can tell.

Eva's movie,
or JT's movie or whatever

got into
the Cannes Film Festival.

And they want JT to go.

Well, they're pretty
desperate...

for him to be there, like,
to promote the movie, and...

and they'd pay me,
like, $1000 a day.

And people are skeptical, too,
you know, especially Eva.

If JT doesn't go,
the whole thing will be over

for Laura, you know.

I know, but... so what?

Every time you come back
from being JT,

you're a mess.

I could use the money.
It's a lot of money.

Use a few more people
while you're at it?

That's a... really reductive,
simplified version of it.

We've talked about that.

Okay.

Let's get real for a second.

People respond to JT
because of who they think he is.

But what you guys are doing
is just like...

People get just as much
as they put into it.

It's like they use us,
we use them.

Everyone uses each other.
That's, like, how it is.

Oh, my God.

You've already decided,
haven't you?

It's one more time.

I mean, do you hear yourself
right now?

Just one more time again?
Like...

You sound like an addict.

Honestly, I'm...

missing something.

Like, I... I miss it.

Please. We both know
this is about Eva.

You miss her?

Do you wanna see her?

But that's not happenin', Sav.

I mean, it's crazy.

She's into who she thinks JT is,
not you.

I fucked her in Paris.

- What?
SAVANNAH: I should've told you.

I... I'm sorry.

I always knew you had a crush.

I mean, it was fuckin' obvious.

But, of course, I... I didn't
think it really meant anything.

I mean, you know me.

Had you told me earlier,
I wouldn't have freaked out

but to lie about it?

Just think about what you want
and what you're doin'

and then we can talk.

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

♪ Like a tunnel
that you follow ♪

♪ To a tunnel of its own

♪ Down a hollow to a cavern

♪ Where the sun
has never shone ♪

♪ Like a door
that keeps revolving ♪

♪ In a half-forgotten dream

♪ Or the ripples from a pebble

♪ Someone tosses in a stream

♪ Like a clock
whose hands are sweeping ♪

♪ Past the minutes of its face

♪ And the world
is like an apple ♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

♪ Like the circles
that you find ♪

♪ In the windmills
of your mind ♪

♪ Keys that jingle
in your pocket ♪

♪ Words that jangle
in your head ♪

♪ Why did summer
go so quickly? ♪

♪ Was it something
that you said? ♪

♪ Lovers walk along the shore

♪ And leave their footprints
in the sand ♪

♪ Is the sound
of distant drumming ♪

♪ Just the fingers
of your hands? ♪

♪ Pictures hanging
in a hallway ♪

♪ And the fragment of a song

♪ Half-remembered names
and faces ♪

♪ But to whom do they belong?

♪ When you knew
that it was over ♪

♪ You were suddenly aware

♪ That the autumn leaves
were turning ♪

♪ To the color of his hair

♪ Like a circle in a spiral

♪ Like a wheel within a wheel

♪ Never ending or beginning

♪ On an ever-spinning reel

♪ As the images unwind

♪ Like the circles
that you find ♪

♪ In the windmills
of your mind ♪

♪ Like the circles
that you find ♪

♪ In the windmills of

LAURA AS SPEEDIE: Oy.

♪ Your mind ♪

- LAURA AS SPEEDIE: Oy.
- Hey, Eva. Hey.

SPEEDIE: They want the two
of you to introduce the film.

- No, no. Shh.
- Eva! Eva!

- No, no.
- What?

- Babyhead.
- Oh, my God.

What's... come here.

What's wrong?

SAVANNAH: I don't know
what I was thinking.

I really thought that

something could have worked out
between us.

I feel like a complete idiot.

Oh, don't blame yourself.

Okay? Oh, my God.

What? For going there?

If we never let ourselves
go there, we'll never grow.

So, you're stuck, right?

Some emotional vortex with her.

There's no way around that,
so you need to talk to her

about what happened
in Tennessee.

You're at an impasse,
my beautiful friend.

Okay?

It's like one of those sores
that scabs over

and all kinds of dirt
are underneath.

You just gotta go back in
and take that dirt out.

Talk to her and clean up
this mess, right?

Yeah.

Hey, I love you.

- Love you.
- Come on.

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

ELLIOT: You took a film
about truck stop hookers

to the Cannes Film Festival.

People know you're only involved
if it's edgy,

if it's relevant, if it's real.

But more importantly,
JT is interested

in taking the problems
of the soul, the spirit,

and transforming them
into craft, you know.

Oh, my God,
he does it with his own designs!

You, uh, design?

Oh, he's, he's amazing.

So many...

I... I just wanna, um,
say something.

Just that in Tennessee,

I was feeling, um,

like, really hurt
'cause, you know,

that you were with, uh, Ben.

Not that
you s... shouldn't have been,

it's just, um...

I shouldn't have been there
and...

it was awkward and shitty, uh...

Really?

That's what
you wanna talk about, JT?

What did you expect?
Like, one drunk fuck

and I was gonna run off
into the sunset with you

and be in some sweet little
lesbian relationship?

I mean,
you wr... wrote all those...

e-mails, you know.

I guess you just wanted
the film rights.

EVA: I put my whole life
in this movie.

I made a movie that is based
on a true story, right?

I made this film for you.

I mean, you kind of made it
for yourself too...

You know, don't tell me
who I made this movie for!

Alright, and don't pretend
like you don't know

what I'm trying to talk about.

Do you know how many times
I had to defend you?

Like tell people,
"No, JT is actually real?"

If this whole thing turns out
to be bullshit...

I'm gonna be devastated, JT,
okay?

You gotta tell me.

Please tell me
that your story is real.

Tell me that you wrote
these books...

and that you are
who you say you are.

Eva...

I mean, JT's whoever
you want him to be.

Oh, my God.

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[SIGHS]

LAURA AS JT: I feel like
we're salmon

returning to our ocean home.

And w... we're finally leavin'
the chrysalis

to become the monarch
butterflies of our own selves.

I feel like I've arrived.

Like I finally found
my true self.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

JOHN: Laura, this is John
Bradwell from "The Guardian."

I'm running a piece about JT.

In particular, about the photo
I found online of Savannah.

It looks strikingly
like Mr. LeRoy.

It'd really be in your best
interest to return my call.

[SIGHS] Fuck.

JOHN: Geoff, Bradwell
with "The Guardian"

calling again
to confirm that Savannah...

Yeah, yeah, uh, Savannah,
uh, my sister,

was... was the body
of... of JT LeRoy, yeah.

But... but Laura was...
Laura was the voice.

She... she did all the writing.

JOHN: Savannah,
Bradwell calling again.

Listen, I know for a fact
that you're JT,

so at this point
you should really

just make a statement
before my story runs.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

This may sound crazy,
but the whole thing was never

a... a big scheme.
Never at all.

I mean, it was just...

I don't know.
It just got out of hand.

It snowballed, I guess.

What the fuck?

I guess we betrayed some people,
sure.

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

Baby, did you get followed?

I don't know.
I don't think so.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]
Oh, fuck.

This is a fucking witch hunt.

Do you... you want a tea?

Or I can... I can make you eggs
or something.

No, I... I can't eat anything.
I'm okay.

Oh, my God.

Babe.

[SIGHS]

They know who I am now.

I'm so ashamed.

I just wanna fucking disappear.

How are you holding up?

I mean, I figured I'd feel
some kind of relief...

but I'm kind of at a loss.

I just, like...

- At a loss.
- Yeah.

Babyhead...

it's the fucking
end of the book.

It's like the end of "Sarah."

JT's like running naked
through the woods.

They have pitchforks.

They're fucking after him.

Mad 'cause he's actually a boy.

You could have written
a different ending.

Had to be that ending.

It's a great fuckin' ending.

[CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS]

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

LAURA: They think
that the work is fraudulent.

You know, this ain't a hoax,
this ain't fraud.

The books are real.

Hello?

Hello?

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[SIGHS]

WOMAN 6: Without further ado,
let's give a warm welcome

to Laura Albert.

[CROWD APPLAUDING]

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

Tom Waits...

wanted to do an interview

with JT LeRoy for "Vanity Fair."

JT declined...

because he was notoriously shy.

One of the reasons JT...

was so shy...

is JT didn't have a body.

JT was an avatar.

We are given this persona,

and then we are given this body,

and there's no promise
from whomever made us...

that the two will be in sync.

A... and hey, I say
we can be in the misery...

of trying to get them
to match up...

or we can create our own world.

Let me take you back.

I was in a group home,

I'm in my pain,

and there's pain all around.

And I'm... I'm looking
for the tools...

for other people
to feel that pain,

to understand it.

And I can't be in this body,
you know.

Because my biggest fear is

if I tell you my pain...

you'll say, "You deserved it."

"You're disgusting."

"You're horrible."

And I'm seeing
these blond blue-eyed boys

on after-school specials,
and I'm like...

I gotta find another body.

So I start calling
suicide hotlines...

and I meet JT.

I was as surprised
as everyone else...

what JT wrote.

Then I was sad...

'cause I couldn't give JT

the body he wanted...

the body he deserved.

And he found that in Savannah.

- Um, but to be back is...
- Oh, I know.

- Meta.
- It's incredible.

- What's your name?
- Mikayla.

- Mikayla. Pleasure.
- Thank you.

- Really.
- Hey.

Babyhead, get in here.

It's been a long time.

I'm... I'm really glad
that I came.

I'm really glad you did too.

- What's your name?
- Uh, D.J.

- D.J., thanks for coming.
- Thank you so much.

- How's Geoff?
- He's good.

You know, he's being Geoff.
Making music.

I like what you said
earlier too.

Thank you for connecting
to "Sarah" like that.

- It's really beautiful.
- Oh!

C... can we just
get a picture of you guys?

- Sure. Um, yeah.
- Yeah, sure.

Wow.

Here we are.

Well, I also came
to say goodbye.

Um, I'm gonna move to New York.
I'm excited.

Wow, I guess.
That's a big one for you.

- What's your name?
THOMAS: Uh, Thomas.

Congratulations.

And you know, maybe I'll see you
out in the world.

We're playin' in the fields
of the Lord.

- What's your name?
ALEX: Alex.

[CHUCKLES]

Hey S... Sav.

I heard you were, uh, writing.

Yeah.

Just remember, [BRITISH ACCENT]
just 'cause you played a writer

doesn't mean you are one.

Good luck.

Thank you.

- What's your name?
- Eva.

Eva...

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

♪ Oh make me over

♪ I'm all I wanna be

♪ A walking study

♪ In demonology

♪ Hey so glad
you could make it ♪

♪ Yeah now you really made it

♪ Hey so glad
you could make it now ♪

♪ Oh look at my face

♪ My name is might have been

♪ My name is never was

♪ My name's forgotten

♪ Hey so glad
you could make it ♪

♪ Yeah now you really made it

♪ Hey there's only us left now

♪ When I wake up in my makeup

♪ It's too early
for that dress ♪

♪ Wilted and faded
somewhere in Hollywood ♪

♪ I'm glad I came here
with your pound of flesh ♪

♪ No second billing
'cause you're a star now ♪

♪ Oh Cinderella
they aren't sluts like you ♪

♪ Beautiful garbage
beautiful dresses ♪

♪ Can you stand up
or will you just fall down? ♪

♪ You better watch out

♪ Of what you wish for

♪ It better be worth it

♪ So much to die for

♪ Hey so glad
you could make it ♪

♪ Yeah now you really made it

♪ Hey there's only us left now

♪ When I wake up in my makeup

♪ Have you ever felt
so used up as this? ♪

♪ It's all so sugarless

♪ Hooker waitress
model actress ♪

♪ Oh just go nameless

♪ Honeysuckle
she's full of poison ♪

♪ She obliterated
everything she kissed ♪

♪ Now she's fading
somewhere in Hollywood ♪

♪ I'm glad I came here
with your pound of flesh ♪

♪ You want a part of me

♪ Well I'm not selling cheap

♪ No I'm not selling cheap ♪

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

♪ If I could be

♪ What you wanted

♪ Then how can I be honest?

♪ If I could breathe

♪ Like you wanted

♪ I'd be here but in my skin

♪ An open promise
that was made ♪

♪ If life was given to a name

♪ And your body for this heart
forever changed ♪

♪ What's life but a game

♪ To see for the hearts
we take ♪

♪ And make

♪ If I could be

♪ What you wanted

♪ Then how can I be honest?

♪ If I could breathe

♪ Like you wanted

♪ I'll be here but in my skin

♪ Spoken word
can break the way ♪

♪ We hear the words
fall from a page ♪

♪ 'Cause there's mysteries
of fortune and fame ♪

♪ What's love but a name

♪ Tainted by the promises

♪ We break

♪ If I could be

♪ What you wanted

♪ Then how can I be honest?

♪ If I could breathe

♪ Like you wanted

♪ I'll be here but in my skin

♪ Who could ever take
this name ♪

♪ The lies we make ♪

Subtitles by explosiveskull