All language subtitles for The White Lotus S03E01 Same Spirits New ForTb

My name is Amrita.

- Zion.
- Zion?

- Yeah. Thank you.
- Beautiful name.

How do you find Thailand?

Well, you know, I just
got here, but I like it.

Um, I grew up in
Hawaii. It's actually...

- Ah.
- ...really similar.

Except there's no
monkeys in Hawaii.

Yeah.

It's actually crazy seeing
them up in the trees, you know?

Hmm.

Is it your first
time meditating?

No. No, no, no. My mom,
she's all into the, you know,

spiritual stuff.

Yeah, she just sent me here

'cause she knows I've
been pretty stressed out.

Just finishing finals and, um...

you know, some other stuff.

Okay. Shall we begin?

Yeah, yeah, let's...
let's do it.

Just close your eyes for me.

Take a moment to settle...

and focus on your breathing.

Inhale...

...and exhale, fully release.

Let us calm our
chattering monkey minds...

and find in the silence

what is timeless.

Breathe in...

...slowly, and breathe out.

Let the sounds of the
external world fade away.

And focus only on your breath.

- Um, ma'am?
- Hmm?

Ma'am, that's a gun.

- Huh? Uh...
- Yeah. Yeah.

Uh...

Uh...

- Oh, fuck.
- Okay, uh, stay calm.

Just stay calm.

- Uh...
- My mom's out there.

- My mom's out there. No, no, no.
- Zion. No, no, no, st...

- My mom's out...
- Oh my God!

Oh God!

Stay down.

Please let my mom
be okay. Please.

Oh, Je... Oh, Jesus, please
forgive me of my sins.

I pray you protect
my mom and me.

Let us get out of here.
In Jesus' name, amen.

What the fuck?

I said don't let anything happen
to my mother, motherfucker!

♪ Made in Thailand ♪

♪ Oh, yeah! ♪

♪ Made in Thailand ♪

♪ Oh, yeah... ♪

Would you mind
taking it over there?

My wife and I are
bothered by the smoke.

Look, stop your
smoking on the boat.

You don't have to
be a dick about it.

Be a dick about what?

♪ Made in Thailand ♪

♪ Oh, yeah... ♪

Morning.

Ni hao.

Morning.

Khun Sritala. Khun Sritala!

Khun Sritala.

The boat should be
here any minute.

I need more time.

Of course, but it's
almost at the platform.

Tell them to cruise the bay.

- Cruise the bay?
- Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

♪ Made in Thailand ♪

Hello! Hi!

Sawatdee kha.

Welcome to the White
Lotus in Thailand, kha.

Thank you.

- For you.
- Ooh!

I'm okay.

- I don't... I don't need one.
- Take one.

I'm Fabian, general manager.

I'm pleased to introduce you
to one of the hotel owners,

Khun Sritala.

She is the visionary behind
our wellness program.

I may be biased, but we
are the best in the world.

Oh my God. We are so
excited to be here.

Mook is your health
mentor for the week.

She will answer
all your questions

and can escort you to your room.

- You are so pretty. Wow.
- Khop khun kha.

- Isn't she so pretty?
- Let's just go to the room.

This way please.

Oh my God.
You're so pretty.

What's your name
again? Mook? Love that.

Please stop talking.

- Wow.
- Whoo!

Yeah.

- Hi.
- The Ratliff family, yes?

- That's us.
- How was your flight?

Long layover in Doha, but
it's all forgotten now.

We flew over the North Pole.

How did you find us, may I ask?

Uh, well, Piper
here is a senior,

- thank you, at Chapel Hill...
- I was also a Tar Heel.

But Timothy went to Duke.
Saxon graduated Duke.

Lochlan, our youngest,
just got accepted to both.

So you can imagine,
it's a whole thing.

And she's a religious
studies major.

So she's writing
her thesis on...

Well, what's your
thesis on, Pipe?

- Dad, don't.
- Yeah, well, it's on Buddhism,

and there's a monk at
a monastery near here.

Anyway, she wants
to interview him.

So we made a family
road trip of it...

Pam. Would you please
escort them to the villa?

- Certainly.
- Please enjoy.

Um, right this way.

- Thank you.
- Enjoy.

- Thank you.
- Enjoy.

- Enjoy.
- Enjoy.

- Hi!
- Oh my God!

- Hi!
- Hi.

Sawatdee kha. I am Sritala.

I'm one of the owners.

Nice to meet you.

I am a fan. My husband also.

- Oh.
- We watch your show.

Aw. Thank you.

- Are these all your friends?
- Uh, yes,

- this is Kate and Laurie...
- Hi.

...and we have been
friends since forever.

Yeah, we went to school
together when we were, like,

- nine years old...
- Yep. Mm-hmm.

- ...through high school.
- Yeah.

- Old friends.
- No, long-time friends. Not old.

Ah, yes.

You know, we have just been
so busy with our lives,

and we've been missing
each other, so...

You know, we just live
in different cities.

And then Jaclyn heard
about this place.

Everyone in LA
is talking about it.

Sawatdee khrap. Welcome.

This is Valentin. He
will be your health mentor.

- A health mentor?
- Wow.

- I love it.
- Okay.

He is our best.

Everyone requests him because...

he's handsome.

I look forward to
working with you.

He is from Russia.

- Bye!
- Enjoy.

Miss Belinda.
Sawatdee khrap.

I'm Pornchai. We have
spoken on the phone.

I'm just so happy
to finally meet you.

We are honored to have you
here. And this is for you.

Thank you. I'm honored.

And I'm just so glad
all this worked out.

And I want to learn
everything I can

and bring the
magic back to Maui.

That's great. Shall we?

Everyone here is
eager to meet you.

Oh, I can't wait.

Sick.

Fuck yeah.

Dad. Dad, I know
I gave you shit,

but this place is clutch.

- I did my research.
- God, you're always right.

Saxon was our hold-out.

We usually stay
at the Caribbean.

What? No, no, no, no. I
don't need a vacation, so...

I mean, I love working.

- What?
- Saxon works for his father.

They love it.

- It's Tim's dream.
- It's pretty great.

How wonderful for you.
How wonderful for you.

So, how many bedrooms are there?

Uh, three.

The master is through
the common area,

and then there is one
bedroom on either side.

Okay. So, Lochy, you're with me.

- All right.
- Uh, he can sleep with me.

I don't mind.

But that'd be weird.

Why is it weird?

Because brothers and
sisters don't sleep together

after they have full
grown, you know...

genitals.

- Saxon. That's a bad word.
- What?

Stop!
Stop! Saxon, please!

Stop! Stop!
Let me go! Stop.

- We're a normal family. You'll see.
- I don't know.

- Seriously!
- Um, what's the... what's the Wi-Fi?

Oh, yeah.

Uh, we don't actually
have Wi-Fi in the villas.

- What?
- What? No Wi-Fi?

Yeah. We consider the hotel
to be a digital detox area.

So we actually encourage our
guests to put your phones,

your laptops, your
electronics into this bag.

I will take them. I will
put them in our safe.

And at the end of the week,
we will give them back to you.

And that way, you can just
focus on, um, being present

and each other...

- Mm-hmm.
- ...and self-care.

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.

This come up in
your research, Dad?

- No. Um...
- It's optional.

- Oh.
- Oh, okay.

I think it's a great idea.

The only people I want to
see are right here anyway.

- All right, honey, uh, I just...
- I'm sick of these phones.

It's not realistic.

We will be keeping
the phones, Pam.

Okay. Uh, we just ask,

don't take them out
into the common areas

so as not to disturb
the other guests.

Can we bring it to the gym?

- Oh my God. Dude, are you dense?
- What? No.

I get a way better pump
if I'm listening to music.

It's a common area.

He's so cute.

Oh, no, I'm serious.

I mean, what... what... what am
I supposed to do here all week

without my phone?

Eat a bunch of fruit?

Oh, uh...

Well, we do have a lot
of amazing fruit here,

but I wouldn't eat that.

Uh, that is the fruit of
the mighty pong-pong tree,

and the seeds of
the fruit are toxic.

Yeah?

Could it kill you?

Yeah, it could actually.

It's very poisonous.

Look, I wouldn't worry
about being bored, okay?

Um, 'cause you're each
gonna have a busy schedule

that's based on your
own personal goals.

What?

Tomorrow, you'll do
your biometrics test.

- I don't want to take a test.
- Okay, okay.

- Is it complicated?
- No, no, no. You...

- We're jetlagged.
- We get a whole bunch of data,

and I take those results...

- Yeah.
- ...and I put together

- a personalized plan...
- Yeah. No.

- ...that best suits your needs.
- Okay, Pam, you seem great.

You're a terrific
person. But we're tired.

We've taken three
flights to get here.

So let me make it easy for you.

We just want to
have a good time.

And me, I don't...

I just... I just
want to work out.

So you take care of
us, and believe me,

in a week's time, I'll
take very good care of you.

- All right?
- Thank you so much.

I'll see you tomorrow.
See you tomorrow.

Pam's going, everyone. Say bye.

- Bye.
- Nice to meet you. Welcome.

- Thank you.
- Welcome.

- See you.
- Thanks so much, Pam.

I think I'm going to take a nap.

Oh, are you sure, honey?

You do that and you
won't sleep tonight.

- Oh, I'll sleep like a baby.
- Yeah?

I'm so happy.

Yeah. Come on.

Let's get you settled.
Let me walk you in.

Hey, Lochy,
do you wanna go...

Stop! Stop.

Do you want to go see
the temple with me?

It's just like a
mile down the beach.

- Yeah.
- No, we were gonna go to the pool.

I mean, don't you
wanna go to the pool?

Yeah, well, I'll come...

I'll come with
you to the temple,

and then I'll come meet
you at the pool after.

Okay. Yeah, whatever.

I'll, uh...

I'll see you down there.

♪ Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.

Have fun, son. See you in a bit.

Yeah,
we've been all over.

We've been to Mexico.
We've been to Costa Rica.

But we can go wherever, really,
'cause Rick barely works.

I used to be a yoga teacher.

- Oh, wow.
- Mm-hmm.

Yeah, that's cool...

But we've been
travelling so much.

We were gonna go back to
Bali, but then one day,

he woke up, and he was like,
"We're going to Thailand."

Yeah. And once he gets
an idea in his head,

you can't argue with him.
Isn't that right, babe?

Mm-hmm.

Well, I hope you enjoy Thailand.

Thank you. Oh, hi.
Great, the bags.

- Yeah, you can just put them in the bedroom.
- Okay.

- Yeah. Sorry they're so heavy.
- Oh, it's okay.

- How are you? Thanks.
- Good. You?

Uh, question for you.

You know that lady on the beach,

- the owner?
- Oh, yes.

Is she married?

Yes, to Khun Jim, Jim Hollinger.

He's a very famous
man in Thailand.

Is he here?

No, he's been sick. He
was in hospital here.

Yesterday, he got released,
and he went back to Bangkok.

- He's in Bangkok?
- This place is insane.

Fuck.

Fucking motherfucker.

Of course he is. I
need a fucking drink.

Oh, he gets migraines
when he flies.

It's no big deal.

If you need anything,
please let me know.

- Thank you so much.
- Thank you. Enjoy.

She's so nice! And
her name's Mook.

How cute is that? Mook.

Oh my God. Jesus.

We're splurging. We should
always live like this.

Let's check
out the spa menu.

Wow. All these treatments.
You should get a facial.

Rick, the lady in the airport
thought you were my dad.

Okay? You should get
a gentleman's facial.

No.

You know that's the whole
reason why people come here?

This is a wellness center.

That's not why I came here.

Why did you come here?

I wanted to go to Australia.

Well, I told you that I
can't go to Australia.

Why? Would you get arrested?

You're like a fucking
machine gun, you know that?

Enough with the questions.

Oh.

Stress management
meditation with Dr. Amrita.

Yeah, you need this.

Yeah, you need to
sort your shit out.

You've got issues.

- I've got issues?
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, you're the one who's crazy.

Ooh! Hey, maybe we should get
fucked up tonight, you know?

Last hurrah before our detox.

Let's have fun!
Okay? Think about it.

I love it here! Thank you!

Hi.

Jacs, it's perfect.
Are you kidding?

- I have my own pool.
- Are you sure?

- I want you to be happy.
- Hey, guys.

There's like a bunch of
monkeys up in the tree.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Wow.

Just don't feed them.
Monkeys can be aggressive.

- Laurie, how's your room?
- It's great.

I feel like you're kind
of tucked away up there.

I'm happy to switch.

No, I'm fine. The
view is incredible.

Anyway, you paid. You
should get first pick.

Oh my gosh. You guys,
I'm happy with anything.

Just being here with the
three of us, I'm in heaven.

I would sleep in a tree.

That's too
generous of you.

That's so nice.

But we're paying
for our own treatments.

And I'm going to pay for
some of your treatments, too.

Khop khun kha.

You guys!

Should I open a bottle?

- Heck yeah!
- Let's open a bottle.

These are the moments
we gotta celebrate.

A hundred percent.

And we're not
getting any younger.

Well...

except you, Jac.
You look amazing.

You look amazing.

But you look incredible.

You look incredible.

You look the same as
you did 20 years ago.

Oh, okay.

You both do.

Yeah, but you look like you just
got pushed out of a birth canal.

Oh, God.

- Who's your doctor?
- Shut up. Who's your doctor?

I don't know why
you'd want to know

'cause he's not as
good as your doctor.

I haven't done anything.
Except for, you know,

a little maintenance.

The basics.

Me too.

Mm-hmm.

Thanks.

To Thailand. To monkeys.

To self-care.

- And a week of new memories.
- Yes.

Cheers.

To the greatest friends
I have ever known.

Seriously, you'll never
know how much I love you.

I feel the exact same way.

I look at you two...

It's like I'm
looking in a mirror.

Sawatdee kha. This is
for you, Khun Belinda.

Oh my goodness.
Thank you so much.

We are so happy
to have you here.

It's been a rough couple years,

and when this program opened
up, it was a blessing.

I think the universe knew I
needed something.

Anyway, I just want to
thank you in advance

for sharing your
knowledge with me.

- Khop khun kha.
- Khop khun kha.

It's beautiful. It's
truly beautiful.

- Oh my God!
- Oh! What? What?

- Oh! Don't, don't, don't.
- No, no, no.

- Oh my God! What was that?
- Uh, monitor lizard.

Not dangerous. No worry,
no worry. Come here.

It's okay.

In time, lizards will
become your friends.

No.
Uh-uh. No, Pornchai.

This is Brahma,
the creator, a Hindu God.

And that is spirit house.

Thai people believe that
spirits are everywhere,

so we give them offerings
for good luck and protection.

I pray that your time here
brings you good memories

and good results.

Thank you. I pray for that, too.

Okay, careful.

Should
we check it out?

Isn't that why we came here?

I'm just not ready yet.

It's cool though, right?

Yeah?

Well, if we're not
gonna go in, I might

head back.

Okay.

I think I'm gonna
stay a little longer.

All right.

Thanks for
coming with me.

- Yeah. Later.
- Bye.

Hey. Hey!

Hey, babe. Come on.

You fall asleep now...

...you're gonna regret it later.

Did we have to go
halfway around the world?

Couldn't she write her
thesis on her own religion?

She could have interviewed
the Archbishop of Canterbury.

We could have stayed
at Claridge's.

Hmm.

Mr. Ratliff, this is Bart Nixon

at the Wall Street Journal.

I've been trying to reach
you. I'm on a deadline.

If you could call me
back when you get this

at 771-444-5801.

It's somewhat urgent, so I
hope to hear from you soon.

Some guy from the
Wall Street Journal

keeps calling me.

Lochy! Loch!

Yo.

Yo, how were the monks?

They were chilling.

Dude, those long plane rides
make me so fucking horny.

It's like a lot of hot
women away from home,

no one to answer to,
acting all anonymous.

It's like printing money.

Cougars.

Hey. Hey.

We saw you guys on
the boat earlier.

- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.

- Yes, hi.
- Hi.

I'm Saxon.

This is my little
brother, Lochy.

Hi.

You guys should get in the pool.

I mean, the
temperature's perfect.

Sounds fun.

Hey, you're on TV, aren't you?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Yeah, I... I recognize
you.

Yeah, thanks.

Very cool.

All right. I have...

Psst! Hey.

How do you... How do you
get a drink around here?

You walk up to the
bar, and you order one.

Hey, it's a numbers game, Loch.

You gotta play the numbers.

So, I'm... I'm here
the whole three months?

Yes.

You know, you sure know how
to treat a burnt-out bitch.

I mean, there's two
beds. That's perfect.

You know, my son's
coming to visit.

Oh, what a lucky young man.

Uh, tomorrow, I'll
come by at 9:00,

and I'll walk you to the center.

That's amazing.

Khop khun kha, Pornchai.

Yin dee khrap. Have
a pleasant stay.

Thank you.

Okay, then.

You know what this
reminds me of?

When we did that
sketch in school,

and we were all one person.

And Jaclyn, of
course, was the face.

What do you mean, of course?

And we hid behind you,
and I had my hands

in some shoes, and I
was your feet, and...

And I was the arms.
And I put lipstick on.

I got it all over your face,

and I brushed your
teeth. Remember?

- Yes, I do. You...
- Oh my God! Right!

Isn't that cool?

So, when are you interviewing
this celebrated monk, Piper?

I'm gonna go by the
monastery tomorrow

and set it up.

You mean you came
all the way here,

and you haven't
set it up already?

Don't worry, Dad. He's
not going anywhere.

Huh.

What about you, Loch?

What are your
goals for the week?

Don't have homework, so, uh,
probably just take it easy.

Hm. I saw in the spa catalogue

they got a treatment
for posture.

Keep your spine straight.

If you're going to sit in front
of a computer your whole life,

it'd be good not
to be a hunchback.

Yeah?

Well, I don't know.

I also have a big
decision to make, too.

So I'll probably spend some
time thinking about that.

What decision?

College.

What's the decision?
You got into Duke.

You're going to Duke.

Tar Heel.

Oops.

Dad, what are you doing? You're
not supposed to have your...

- Hello?
- What are you doing?

No, don't take it
in here. Go outside.

Hold... Hold on a second.
Where am I meant to go?

I don't know! The lobby!

- She said not to have it in, like, public spaces. Come on.
- Out.

- All right.
- Oh my God.

Ooh. I don't mean to complain,
but that's not very much.

She wants you to taste it.

- Oh! Oh.
- Yeah.

- Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's delicious.
- Good.

Just a bit more.

What... What is this shit?

Khop khun kha.

Gluten-free
rice and coconut balls?

What are we, at a
fucking fat farm?

Oh, this is so on-brand for you.

To be a victim of
your own decisions.

Good evening, ladies.

- Hi.
- Hi!

- Hello.
- Hi!

How's your villa?

- Oh my God. They're so beautiful.
- I saw monkeys!

We gave you my favorite.

A table of such
beautiful ladies.

Thank you.

You know, when we were little,
people would always mix us up.

Couldn't tell us apart.

But then Jaclyn
got famous, so...

Mmm.

Khun Sritala was
an actress herself.

Were you? I believe that.

Many, many years ago.

She's going to sing
tomorrow night,

so you must come
here for dinner.

We wouldn't miss it.

I have some popular
songs in Thailand.

And then, I married my
husband. He's an American.

Hmm.

Khun Sritala is very
famous here in Thailand.

Also a pioneer in
the wellness space.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Um, I have autoimmune disease.

So I learned all about
health and wellness.

I even wrote books.

Uh, no, no, no.

Stop, stop,
stop. No. No, no. No, no.

You know what? I...
I'm not going to eat.

What's going on with you?

I'm just not hungry.

You know, I think the
cosmos brought us together

so that we could get to
the root of your issues.

No, I'm gonna help
you get your joy back.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Mm. Good luck with that.

- Goodnight.
- See you tomorrow.

Even if it kills me.

Goodnight.
Sawatdee kha.

You know what? I'm
gonna go have a smoke

and go back to the room.

You wanna get into
some tantric later?

Would that make you happy?

Thank
you for taking my call.

Do you have a minute?

Well, I'm in Thailand on
vacation with my family.

So, you know, a minute. Sure.

I'm writing a
piece on Kenneth Nguyen.

Did you work with him in 2018
to set up a fund called Sho-Kel?

Can you confirm that?

Sorry.

What is this article
even about? W...

We're looking
into Sho-Kel

and Mr. Nguyen's relationship
to the government of Brunei.

Well, I'm afraid I won't be able
to help you much there because,

uh, I mean, I know
Kenny moved to Brunei,

but I haven't seen or spoken
to him for, I don't know,

four years at least. Um...

- Well...
- Anyway, look, I...

Like I said, uh, um, I'm
on vacation with my family,

- and, uh...
- I'm sorry, could you...

May... Why don't you put all
your questions in an email,

send it to my office,
and I'll get back to you

'cause it's really... it's
really not a good time.

We're running
the story this week.

Well, you know,
good luck with that.

- And, uh, thanks a lot. Bye-bye.
- Could you at least...

Kenny. It's Tim. I was
just talking to a guy

from the Wall Street Journal
asking questions about Sho-Kel.

You know about this?

Anyway, uh, just...
give me a call.

I'm in Thailand,
so I don't know...

Whatever time it is,
I'll try and pick up.

But you... But call me,
Kenny. Okay? Call me.

- How's your night?
- Fuck off.

Fuckin' prick.

- What's up, Dad?
- Hey.

- Anything I can help with?
- Uh, it's nothing.

Well, if it was nothing,
then why did you take it?

'Cause it was something,
and I'm gonna handle it,

and then it will be nothing.

Okay, y'all, the point
is to be present.

- Here. Now. Okay?
- Yeah.

- Thank you.
- Okay.

Mom.

Mom.

Mom.

You were asleep.

Scratch my arm.

Okay.

Feels so good.

Hi, Nat. Um, can I get
a Mauresque please?

Khop khun kha.

I love your outfit.

Thank you.

I love your teeth.

Thank you.

- You're from England, right?
- Yeah.

I used to go to London
all the time for work.

- Ooh, for work?
- Yeah.

- What was your work?
- No, just, you know, modeling.

Oh, how glamorous.

- Are you from London?
- No, I'm from Manchester.

Oh, okay. Are you
here by yourself?

No. My boyfriend's
hiding from me.

No way, that's
like my boyfriend.

Your boyfriend hides from you?

Yeah. I mean, he just
tells me to get lost

because I get on his nerves.

- Ugh!
- But honestly,

he's so fucking boring,

I almost don't even care.

How long have you been here for?

A year.

You've been at this
hotel for a year?

No, no. We have a
house at the top of the hill.

We just come down here to eat,
but we just got in a fight,

so I'm letting him cool off.

He's behind me, the bald guy.

The one with the orange shirt.

Oh.

Yeah, you'll notice a
lot of bald White guys

- in Thailand.
- Yeah?

The locals call them LBHs.

Losers back home.

Oh.

Thank you, Nat.

My boyfriend's going bald.

So much in common.

We really do.

What are you having? Martini?

- Yes, please.
- Nat, another martini, please.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Hey, let's get pissed.
- Let's get pissed.

Cheers.

It's so nice to meet you.

So nice to meet you.

I mean it.

Everybody's so nice,
and I love the culture.

They're always lighting candles,
and everything smells so good.

Oh! and I saw
two Black people tonight,

and they weren't staff.

- That's awesome, Mom.
- So, you got a final today?

Yeah, I have
microeconomics this morning,

then statistics Wednesday.

And then, I'm coming to see you.

I can't wait. I don't
know what I expected,

but I'm starting to feel like something
good's going to come out of this.

You deserve it, Mom.

All right. I'm gonna let you go.

I love you, and I miss you.

And, uh, good luck
on your finals.

- Love you.
- Bye.

Oh!

No, no, no, no.
The fuck was that?

Uh-uh. No snake falling
on my head. Uh-uh.

Mm-mm. Not today.

Okay, Jac, I know
that it's nice to have

the red carpet rolled
out for you all the time,

but is it weird to have people
constantly kissing your ass?

Because I think
I would go crazy.

It's fine. I
always have to be gracious.

And I can't have a bad
day in public anymore.

And I'm sure you have to
wonder about people's motives.

I mean, I even get that.

Everyone in Austin knows
about Dave and his company.

And there's so many times
I think someone wants

to be my friend
because they like me.

I mean, I think I'm cool.

But then I realize,

pretty quickly, they
have some agenda.

- They...
- Mm-hmm.

...you know, want a donation
or a job for their kid,

or want me to get
them on some board.

I'm not complaining.

I'm lucky to be in a
position to help people.

- But...
- We're all lucky.

- We're so lucky.
- Yeah.

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

I am always bragging
that I know you,

and people don't
believe we're friends.

And I'm like, "I'm telling you,

she's like one of
my closest friends."

Yeah.

Well, and you.

Your kids are gorgeous,
your beautiful homes.

You're totally winning life.

Well, look at you.

Now, you've found the
man of your dreams.

Oh my God. Who would
have ever thought?

Right?

- Yeah.
- Oh, and Laurie.

You just... Everything
you do is just so hard.

You know, you've always
been so impressive.

I mean, that corporate
world is so tough.

Yeah.

And your
daughter seems like

she is turning into

- a really cool girl.
- Mmm.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Thanks.

Dave said,

"So, what, you're going
on a midlife crisis trip

with your girlfriends?"

And I was like, "Dave,

it is not a midlife crisis trip.

It's a victory tour."

Victory tour. I love that.

- That's it.
- Hmm.

You guys, I think the jet lag
is catching up to me.

Oh! I'm gonna go to bed.

Hey, I'll help
you with the door.

Okay, night night.

- Mmm. Bye.
- Good night.

Night night. Love you, too.

- Love you both.
- I'll get...

- I'll get the door.
- Oh, thank you.

Identity is a prison.

No one is spared this prison.

Rich man, poor man,
success or failure.

We build the prison,
lock ourselves inside,

then throw away the key.

You shouldn't
humor her bullshit.

All right? She has issues
she needs to deal with.

What are her issues?

Well, for one, which I'm
sure you've noticed...

she's pretty hot.

But I don't think she's
ever been laid before.

Look, Buddhism is for people
that want to suppress in life.

They're afraid.
Don't get attached.

Don't have desires.
Don't even try.

Just sit there in
a lotus position

with a thumb up your ass.

But, I mean, it is
good to want things.

You know, as long
as you can get 'em.

I mean, getting what
you want in life,

that's happiness, bro.

But...

what do I want, I guess?

Pussy.

Money, freedom, respect.
I mean, look, you're...

you're smart and
good-looking, Loch.

I mean, sure, we need to
buff you up a little bit,

but you've got so much ammo.

You don't need to shrink
away from life like her.

Get laid. Get everything.

I'm gonna help you.

- Thanks.
- Yeah.

No problem.

So, what
kind of porn do you like?

What?

Like hot teacher?
Bukkake?

Real question is, how the
fuck am I gonna jerk off

with you in here all week?

Eh, I'll just go
to the bathroom.

Timothy. I just
got a second wind.

Oh, shit.

Don't worry. I took a Lorazepam.

That guy on the boat
was such an asshole.

Saw him in front of the
hotel. Asshole again.

- He's probably just jealous.
- Huh.

I mean, you have a
beautiful wife, right?

Yes, I do.

- The most beautiful.
- Who adores you.

You have three perfect
children who worship you.

You have an amazing career.

And what does he have?

Cirrhosis? Lung cancer?

Some bimbo he met
on the internet?

We have it good. No doubt.

And it's all because
of you. You did it.

Everyone tells me what
a great man you are.