Original subtitles

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

No, I'm not coming home.

Oh my god.

Because Mom's crazy, and you're crazy to stay there, Becky.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

You're the craziest one on your own in that coffee.

Yes, I'll just milk this in the kitchen.

Oh, something's all right.

Yeah, he's getting me coffee.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

What?

Yeah, he's fine.

No, no, no, no.

What do you mean the one?

You're what you're in.

Becky, I don't know if he's the one.

I mean, he took me out for a meal last night.

I'll break up.

Hello.

Hello?

Becky.

Oh.

Howdy.

Hey, Charlie.

That's nice.

I'll be God damn.

Yeah, no.

We've got this guy comes in every week, where's

himself slick ride, special rate picks up a new girl

every time.

It looks like that's time to lift her in there.

Morning, darling.

It's all right.

Rous, but we don't need to get in there and clean up.

Who's he?

What's he talking about?

The guy you came with?

He's gone.

No, he's getting me a coffee.

It's not a coffee shop.

It's Charlie's garage.

Rest classic cars.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

Oh.

He said he was-- he took me out last night.

You have his number?

No.

He was going to give me that.

Better call right.

I don't have a phone.

It's dead.

I don't have a credit card either.

Okay.

In fact, I don't have any money at all.

Oh, I get it.

No, you don't ask, whole.

Just because you're wearing a suit and a clown tie doesn't make you

any better than that.

Lying, stinking, shithole bastard from last night.

Oh.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

So can I take it to wherever you're going?

Do I have a choice, Mr. Seuss?

Sure you do.

Nice all about having choices.

I'm Jake.

Virginia.

Actually, the suit's borrowed.

And that's the truck.

I got a rental excited job interview today.

What do you do, Virginia?

Right now, nothing.

So you came to be easy?

Something easy about in New Orleans without a job.

Screw the big easy.

Yeah, just don't let it screw you.

Oh, my God, you are so clever, except you drive a shit heap

and he had a Mustang.

Except he didn't.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Let's go.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, my God, there's no door.

Air conditioning.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

We need to give him a girl a second.

You're a truck's a girl?

Sure she is.

[SIGHS]

Thing is, I actually have this project.

You might be interested.

In what?

I want to write a blog about it.

It will not align a product.

Start my own streaming channel.

What?

I have to do a lot of serious research first.

On what?

Well, sex.

[SIGHS]

You know what?

I think I'm actually just well.

Thanks.

Let me call you a ride.

Nothing.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, shit.

Oh, I don't believe this.

Oh, I'm so easy getting treated like shy day.

You see me coming in my heels, the skin side,

they pull over, say what you doin' tonight in my screen.

Anything, but fucking guys, another badass bitch,

I can never lose the much jee-bield in my cup of glass.

Listen, come back to the house.

I'm not trying anything honest.

So I'm not easy, huh?

No.

You'll be safe there's lots of girls.

If all got shoes, and if you don't mind me saying,

you seem like if you do some friends.

Listen, you've got no reason to trust me, but--

I didn't.

I trusted your truck.

Well, the truck may need some help.

OK, when I shout contact, I just touched these two wires together.

OK?

Are you joking?

No.

Mission?

Contact.

OK, let's go.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

This is your house, and that is your truck.

Don't be rude about my baby.

I just live here.

Mone in.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Hi Jake.

Oh, that is hot.

I love you with clothes on.

I know it's weird, right?

This is Virginia.

Hi, I'm Samantha.

Hi.

Hey, do you have size seven shoes?

No, try Cindy.

Hey, Nigel, I see me on later.

Come join.

Hey, help yourself.

There's coffee in there.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh my god.

Oh, what is it?

You're OK?

Yes, but you're--

I made coffee.

He wants coffee.

Yes, but maybe--

I love people that say yes.

But I'm actually with him, Jake.

What about people that say no and stay safe and they never get hurt?

Now, for the people that do say yes, now maybe, maybe they hear,

all right?

But they'll remind you of the force and they tried everything.

Hey, did you want some milk?

Um, yes, please.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Coffee for my new friend.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, oh, oh, she's kidding.

Hey, come sit.

Hi, I'm Cindy.

Are you the one who needs shoes?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Somebody left us.

Great pair of boots on a party.

(yawning)

Here we go.

♪ Try this on ♪

I can't wear these.

Suit yourself.

Might your feet go dead soldiers?

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! God! Oh my God!

- That is so disgusting! - Yeah, I put...

better be safe, right?

Bathrooms in there...

I gotta get back to work.

See ya!

(sighing)

(gasping)

No!

It's... okay.

(gasping)

(gasping)

(dramatic music)

Oh, no.

(dramatic music)

Jake?

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

Okay, you're here!

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

Oh!

I'm so sorry.

I'm Nigel.

How do you do?

- At least you're wearing clothes.

Do you know where Jake is?

No, it's all right.

Great boots.

You wanna boot website?

Is that your thing?

There's a website for boots.

There's a website for everything.

Within the hour online, I can have anything anybody wants

at that front door.

You mean you get girls?

- Sure, who do you want?

- No.

- Is this a whore house?

- Sex work is fine, but we don't let anyone charge

in the house.

- No, I don't charge.

Look, I'm just looking for a job, my god.

- Hey, I'm Leslie.

I hope you're looking for me.

- No, Jake.

Shame.

He's upstairs, come on.

(dramatic music)

- Wait, so do you guys like never wear clothes?

- Oh, we go outside.

Oh, except during Mardi Gras, then we wear paint.

And except Nigel, he never takes his shorts off.

- Do you, Nigel?

- No.

(dramatic music)

(knocking)

(knocking)

(dramatic music)

- He's in there.

Enjoying.

- No, if I do this on my own, that block won't be taken seriously.

I need a lawyer.

- Anyway, thank you for the tie.

(chuckles)

- So, who's the girl?

Is she the one?

- I gotta find somebody.

- I had to are you.

- He's sexy, huh?

- Yeah, yeah, you two.

(dramatic music)

- Ah, that's a dead end.

- I wasn't spying, the door was open.

- We don't have secrets.

Listen, I've got a serious proposition for you.

- I'll bet.

Can I get a straight answer? Are you?

- What?

- Straight.

- No.

- Gay.

- No.

- Bye?

- No.

- Sell a bit?

- No.

What else is there?

- Omnisectual.

I'll do anything.

I usually draw the line out in name and objects.

- Usually?

- One time I had an affair with a washing machine

with a vibrant spin cycle.

(chuckles)

I chose every washing I sat right on top.

It gave me all I wanted in a relationship.

- Oh my god.

- It's a joke, okay?

Listen, please, can we just talk?

Virginia.

Wait.

Virginia, please.

This is serious research.

I really need your help.

Give me 30 seconds, please, and I promise I'll drive you home.

- 30 seconds.

- Okay, great.

It's about my channel, my streaming channel, and books and toys.

And I want to start with a blog about the experiences of a sex positive couple.

There's a revolution happening right now.

All the rules of sexual combat have changed.

- Sexual combat?

- The internet has made everything available.

I had Nigel make up these.

So list of every sexual practice and deviation.

We could try everything.

Unless it's completely disgusting and then we just watch.

- We, as in me.

- Fetish is mainstream.

Kink is cool.

That's my market.

The new sexuality.

No way, I can't get started.

I need a girl.

- Well, there's plenty of them here.

- Nope, no.

They all turn me down.

- That's a good sign.

- I need someone hot enough to get me through any door into any party.

Someone like you.

You could live here.

I'd help with expenses.

- Oh, so you'd pay me to screw you at parties.

- No, no, no, no.

You don't have to screw me ever.

I promise.

No strings.

You get me through the door.

I keep you safe.

You meet interesting people.

- And we screw them.

- Oh, if we like.

Listen, the group is going to his sex club tomorrow.

They hope all got dates.

I can't get in without a girl.

- Forget it.

I'll walk.

- You're going to let her walk the streets like that?

- I guess.

I tried to help.

- I guess.

Knuckle dick.

[screaming]

[dramatic music]

- Hey, man.

- Fuck you!

- Fuck you!

- Oh.

Yeah!

- We could try that.

- I'm truly.

I thought you could use a ride.

I tried those once.

- No, it's a bit made for walking.

- Thanks, Trudy, but I think I'll be fine.

- It's truly with an L.

- Truly happy girl.

- That's your name?

- Yeah, I wanted to be a truly happy girl,

so I changed it.

- Be the change.

You want to be gondae.

- Truly.

- Are you on drugs?

- Never!

Say no to drugs and yes to sex.

Nancy Reagan.

Come on, let's take you home.

- Wait.

The last time I got in this truck that Jake, I tried it on.

So if you're anything like that,

- Oh, no.

- That's Leslie.

I like cock.

I do girls too.

In fact, I'll do anybody.

Well, it guys got to be a two out of ten.

On what scale?

One out of ten being dead.

I have a friend that works up the mortuary,

but I won't go there.

- What's two out of ten?

Breathing.

- So you have no standards and no discrimination.

- What's the point?

I fuck anybody.

Some become friends.

Some don't.

But fucking is how we find out.

I'm a fuck firster.

It just gets it out of the way.

Isn't that dangerous?

- I love condoms.

- Then we get tested once in a month.

- House rules.

So if you come back with us,

you must follow them too.

- Truly, I don't think I can do this.

- Oh no.

Come on, babe.

- I'm not.

- Oh no.

- Come on, baby.

It's too close to this here.

Come on, you can do it.

(whistle)

You're a fucking mechanic!

(laughs)

(screams)

(screams)

(sighs)

- You know,

what's happened to all of us at the house?

Small town girl, most of the big city gets screwed

in every possible way.

Listen, I can tell you're on the struggle bus here.

- Oh no.

Don't you feel sorry for me.

All I need is a bed and I've got one.

(gasps)

So it was an air bed.

That's not good.

(sighs)

Be sure don't take help easy, do you?

Why don't you come stay at the house

until you get yourself sorted out?

And those drinks, okay?

It's exactly what Jake said.

- He's right.

(grunts)

(grunts)

(grunts)

- We girls!

We run that house.

We made the rules.

And number one,

is nobody does nothing with anybody

they don't want to do nothing with.

Where's the picture?

Dammit!

I need to get prepared for tonight

and someone broke the fucking fucking machine.

- So why not just use a man?

- I need something reliable.

- There is that.

Virginia, you're back!

(laughs)

That's so great!

- Virginia, does this mean that you can--

- No, I was evicted.

Can I stay a few days?

Come on, girl.

Gotta get ready for the party.

Party? What party?

Condoms!

Condoms!

Blue!

Blue!

Condoms!

Blue!

I am your fairy condom.

I love the--

Condoms!

Blue!

Like, Condoms?

(upbeat music)

- You ladies.

- You're a kid.

- Yup, you're a kid.

- Oh, I love my life.

- Step!

Everybody needs a wing.

I got your six.

- You can have your six.

- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

- So, you guys do nothing but sex all the time.

- Well, I'm a dreamer and I'm getting my body grief,

so that's nothing that I'm turning out a lot of it.

- Anyways, some of your work's a lot too.

What is it that you don't get putting?

- Uh, PhD at Tulane on the philosophy of hedonism

in the psychosexual culture of generations?

- Whoa.

And you thought I was a dumb blonde.

- No.

- Oh my God, yep, I did think you were dumb blonde.

- I'm so sorry.

- Of course.

You know what this is?

- Conditioning baby.

And we've all had it because the men run the media, right?

- Hey.

- Woo, woo, woo!

- Good.

- Good.

- Good.

- Good.

- Good.

- Good.

- Good.

- Good.

- Good.

- Mmm.

- No, I need more good wife.

She's hot.

- Oh.

- Oh, oh no, no, no, someone.

- Oh, yeah.

- Oh, yeah.

- That's her number there between those two other guys.

You want in?

I've been asked, right?

- Mm-hmm.

- I can't find it.

- Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Ha.

That's your end.

- Love's deepie.

- Woo!

- So, he's in here.

Uh, well, the other ones in here.

- Oh.

- I've never had it in the ass.

- Oh, it's.

- Kind of the same, but I think it's next door.

- Hah.

- Friends were one more.

- You don't even have to help.

- Oh.

- So good.

- Is number three.

- And Joanne has ready for the play.

And Joanne is here.

- Time!

- Time!

- Oh, it's busy, I guess it's gonna be a while before I get in there.

- Well, maybe you can wait.

- One eat, you want to?

- Yeah, no, Jake.

- What's wrong with fucking me?

- Nothing.

I just did that all the time.

- Got a point.

- Fresh meat's always best.

Fresh meat.

Is that all we are?

- No, honey.

That's what the men are.

- I told you.

- We girls, we run these parties.

- Hi.

- Fuck?

- Sure.

- We all have conversation.

♪ You can't make better, you can't make better ♪

♪ Oh, my God.

- Good morning.

Do you have a swimsuit?

What is a swimsuit?

- Virginia, they tell me you're coming to stay with us.

- Fine, please.

- House rules including number seven, no clothes allowed in the pool.

Which is why I never get in the pool.

- Is there anything I need to be worried about?

- You're fine.

- Read it later.

- Great, thank you.

Here's a towel.

- Thanks.

♪

- Oh, what the fuck?

♪

♪

♪

- Oh, what the fuck?

♪

♪

♪

- Wow!

- Whoo, you are the song.

- Virginia, what's up to the house?

- What's up?

- Virginia, Virginia!

♪

- Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo.

- Hi, I'm Ray.

We'll have no interest in each other whatsoever.

- You're gay?

- I am so ashamed.

- Yeah, it's all the way.

- Can I get a straight answer for my gay, man?

- You'll never get one from a straight man.

- What the hell is this place?

- The house?

- It's for people who like to have sex.

- And who don't judge others?

Cindy started it, and she found us,

or we found her, the internet, we use its web.

- So, are you all like couples?

- Oh, God, no, that would be horrible.

- Unless Jay Gass me.

I mean, he's just, oh, it's just so good.

- Is he?

- Oh my gosh, yes.

When he is up, he is like really, really up,

and when he's down, he's like straight back up again.

What more could you ask for?

- So, why don't the girls go with him?

- Going isn't the problem.

It's the coming thing.

- The Jake conversation?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, Jake doesn't come.

- You're kidding.

- No?

Girls go with him, but they don't stay with him

because he doesn't come with him.

- He sees the orgasm as like some kind of commitment.

- Don't you, dear.

- If I'm enjoying myself with someone,

why would I want to ruin it by coming?

- Where are you two?

- Come to the club tonight, I'll do anybody you want.

- That's my fun.

- Shit, Steve.

- Just by location services?

- Steve, you've got no, no, no, no.

- I'm untying him right now, yet.

- I'm doing it.

- Hi, this is Jake, I'm so sorry about that.

- Yeah, you asked him a job.

- Question, you have been a word number for you.

- Thank you, and goodbye.

- The interview, they didn't want me.

- Oh, that sucks.

- Do you want a blowjob?

- No, Cindy, I want a real job.

- Everybody, this is me drowning myself.

- Hey, you just broke real seven.

- I know it.

- Look, I'm sorry to hear about your job.

- Listen, I'll go with you the club tonight,

but just to get you through the door.

- You can give me a reason to live.

- Okay, so if anyone hits on you, just say maybe later.

- And smile, okay?

- Here.

- Maybe later.

- Algae?

- Get found a girl.

- All right.

I'm glad to see you came prepared.

- I'm right.

- They're calling me hot, right.

- I believe it.

Maybe later.

- No, I work here.

- Oh.

- Yeah, the first time is get a tour.

So it's the usual rules.

You know, no means, no.

- No, gentlemen, stay with the ladies.

- Is this fun?

- No, the fun is upstairs.

So we have play rooms when he's sad.

This is the library.

- Oh my God, I love libraries.

- Hey there.

- Oh.

- Virginia!

- What a boy.

- Maybe later.

- Move it on.

Okay now.

This is the feely room.

It's absolutely dark in the scenario.

You got to fill you where around.

- No, who's in there?

- I mean, you never know.

That's the point.

And this is the machine room.

- Jenny, you gotta try this one.

Maybe later.

- All right, all right now this one.

This is my absolute favorite.

- I love this room.

One week glass.

And there you can see who's watching.

- Well that's it.

I'm done at 10 so I joined the party.

I hope to see you.

- Um, I'm done.

- I can't see you.

- Um, yeah, maybe later.

- Yeah.

All right.

- Jake?

- Oh, I'm so sorry.

Jake, don't leave me alone!

- Jake?

- Jake!

- Jake!

- Jake?

- Jake?

- I can't believe I'm seeing this.

Oh my god, you're close.

- Liz.

- Jenny, it's a sex club.

- If you only want to hear what it goes on.

- Oh, look at that.

- Don't you just love this?

I mean, how could anybody be depressed and hear it for more than like 10 minutes?

- Sometimes you just gotta get bocked.

- Hey, wait, so you hear with Jake?

- Oh no.

- Uh, but maybe later.

- That's a good move.

- You know, sometimes you gotta work them out before you work them in.

- I'm Joanna.

Oh, Virginia.

- Girl, don't cover them up.

They're cute.

And this is my sub and my husband, Bill.

- How do you do?

- Hi.

- So what are you into?

- Uh, nobody's ever asked me that before.

- I gave the best head.

Do you like head?

- Do you?

I mean, yeah, sure.

Oh, and you can leave your panties on.

He just loves to munch.

- Oh, yes, please.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Jake, he's--

- You said yes twice, right?

- Just say stop.

Consented to you only sex that we have.

- Oh, my god, he is good, is it he?

- Yes.

- Yes.

- Yes.

Just to be clear, that's--

- Yes, stop, yes.

Continue or yes, he's good.

- Um, yes.

- Yes.

- Oh, there's a spot.

You're on a fucking shore.

- Oh, and uh, how fucking do you want?

- No.

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- So let's get a little freaky tonight.

- If I come for a single ceiling, I'm stealing so right.

And you're wet.

I think you're feeling tonight.

Music, go, this goes, it's not easy.

- Oh!

- Oh, right.

So let's get a little freaky tonight.

Give me more ice cream and I'm speeding so right.

You so wet.

I guess you're feeling tonight.

So let me up against the door.

- Oh, okay.

Oh, okay.

Oh, okay.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh my gosh, I cannot believe I just did that.

- How many guys did you have?

- One.

- Oh!

- Two.

- Oh!

- I mean, there we go.

- Ah!

Four.

Oh my god.

I just went to a party and I have to count how many guys I fought.

- Oh!

Five.

It was five.

- I had three girls.

Joanna was hot, but there was Melanie in sir.

- Wait, which one was Sarah?

- Skinny.

Big tits, tight ass.

- Do not define a woman by her body.

Tits and ass.

Is that all we are to you?

Just sex?

- You just had just sex with just five guys you just met.

- Yeah, I'm trying to work this out.

So we do really not come.

- Wait, what about about?

Oh!

- Oh, wires got it.

Pop the hood.

Sweet baby girl, sister.

I have just had the most amazing night.

Please don't spoil it for me.

Okay, ignition, contact.

- Oh!

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

(gunshot)

(gunshot)

- Whoo!

(gunshot)

(gunshot)

(gunshot)

(soft music)

(soft music)

(soft music)

(soft music)

(soft music)

- Good morning.

- Oh, hey.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- How many guys did you have last night?

- Um, about as many as I have my whole life before last night.

(laughs)

(soft music)

- Is it alright if I feel a little dirty?

- It's residual guilt.

- It's good, because it makes it feel so bad.

We should know.

We're Catholic.

- What about you?

- Uh, ex-evangelical, very ex.

That's what I'm trying to get away from.

- So, you two do stuff like this all the time and still, you know,

love each other?

- Sure we do.

- Listen, Virginia, this is all okay, as long as it's what you want.

- As long as you do what you feel, then you feel what you do.

(soft music)

(soft music)

(soft music)

(soft music)

(soft music)

(soft music)

(soft music)

(soft music)

(soft music)

(soft music)

- There's so many possibilities.

I had no idea.

Are all of these real things?

- I guess.

- So why haven't you done them?

- Well, I was waiting for the-

- You know what? I wanna try them.

I decided I wanna do it.

Your research thing, the sexy stuff?

To hell of it.

I wanna try every damn thing I can.

Let's do 'em all, A to Z.

- Are you serious?

This is fantastic.

- Yeah, I mean, as long as I can say no,

and there's no pressure.

- Absolutely, totally.

(soft music)

- Can we really do this?

No shit, no lies, no jealousy, just friends.

- Yes, we can.

I swear I will never have sex with you.

In front of you, yes, with you, never.

- Oh, no, that's not exactly-

- Nigel, Nigel, I need you help.

Virginia's gonna do my project.

All your deviations we're gonna do 'em from A to Z.

- Oh my God, this is so cool.

Wait, can I pick something that I like, please?

- Sure.

- Um, Elto Casa Fieldin?

(dramatic music)

- Oh.

(sighs)

(soft music)

- Hey, perverts.

- Chin on the table, hands off your hose,

and eyes on the shoes.

- I'm the first.

(soft music)

- This is a Elto Casa Fieldin.

- Oh, it's shoes, that was totally weird.

- All sex is weird.

- All right.

- A. No.

- Oh, no, what do we just do one of each letter?

- Oh, then we go back to the beginning.

Great idea.

Okay, Nigel, the bees.

- Oh, yes.

(gunshot)

- So it's a KEDI FM, right?

- FM, right?

- No, no, BDSM.

Bondage, domination, sadism, masochism.

Got it?

- Yeah.

- And don't let anyone know it's your first time.

Okay?

- Okay.

- Okay.

- Oh, hello.

I'm Hugo, please.

Come here.

- Good evening.

(soft music)

(grunting)

(grunting)

(grunting)

- Oh, my God.

- Is that hurt?

- Yes, of course.

That's the point.

Are you sure you're into this?

- Exactly.

Do you all do?

- Uh, PDF.

- No, no, no, no.

BDSM.

- Yes, but we specialize in PDF.

- What is PDF?

- It is penile dysfunction, the forensic massage.

- PDF.

- Forensic?

- Yeah, so it's like mostly dead people.

- Dead people.

- Your neck are feeling hex?

- No, no, no, no.

They're pretending to be dead, hence dysfunction.

- But you do have VDSM experience.

- Yes, of course.

- Do you want to play?

- Gender switch, power exchange, SSC rack.

- Uh, I think probably just sex.

- Sex?

- You want sex?

- Oh, honey.

We don't do sex.

- My God, what kind of people do you think we are?

- I mean, I'm a married woman.

We are a Baptist.

- You're disgusting.

- They want sex.

- Get out.

- Get out.

- Get out of here.

- Get out.

- I'm serious.

- They kicked you out?

- Yes, they hated us.

- Nigel, we got to see.

They're not many seas.

- Captain Alania,

Graham-Ecystophilia,

Copophilia,

Copophilia,

Copophasia.

- Um, what the hell are they?

- In order, sexual gratification from smoking,

from being robbed,

from shits,

and from eating,

shits.

- What's through D?

Double penetration,

posting ass together.

- No, that brings us back to anal.

- You said you would try everything.

- Okay, we moved to E.

But that's cheating.

No, she said no, it's not negotiable.

- Right on.

Thank you, Jake.

- Hey, we got on pretty good, don't we?

- Yeah, we're doing just fine.

- Are you sure about this Virginia?

- Yes, I am Jake.

- Three, two, one, go!

- Ah!

- Ah!

- Ah!

- Ah!

- Ah!

- Ah!

- Ah!

- Ah!

- Ah!

- Ah!

- Ah!

- Ah!

- Ah!

- Ah!

- Ah!

- Ah!

- Ah!

- Ah!

- Ah!

- Oh!

He's right, submission isn't it?

What's next?

- Belching,

Belatio,

Froddage,

Bisting,

Valaguation.

- Wait, what's fisting?

- Ooh!

Ooh!

Ooh!

Ooh!

- Okay, I thought you said that was good pain.

- Okay, now,

Gee,

fourth group sex!

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

- That's a bad one!

- That, I want to see that, gay sex.

Just guys though.

- Oh, I have just the right guy.

- Daddy?

- Hey,

older guy,

he does girls,

but he is desperate to get into my pants.

- You've already had him.

- I've never had anyone called the Hank.

- You can remember if you've had sex with?

That's incredible.

- You can't?

- I can't even remember faces.

- How would I remember sex?

- So why don't we do both?

- Go for sex.

- Okay, sex.

- Oh!

Sounds like a body!

(laughing)

(upbeat music)

- Oh my God!

(upbeat music)

(thunder rumbling)

- Oh!

- Hi, you mind if we watch?

- Oh, hey,

what are you doing down there?

- This is who I told you about.

- Oh, this is your girl, right?

- Yes,

and this really turns me on.

- What about you?

- Oh, I'm just another homosexual.

- Don't expect anything from me, but...

- He's here for me.

- It's locked in seconds.

- Okay.

I guess you better sit down.

Yeah, if the lady wants to watch it,

you better do it.

- Oh!

(groaning)

(dramatic music)

- Is that an average-sized dick, what'd you say?

- No, I said big dick.

Oh, I'm black people.

I have big dicks.

- I'm black.

I don't have a dick.

That sex is them.

- No.

I just meant that I don't white people always...

- What, so why do you's can't have big dicks?

- You're a big dick?

That's racism.

- Come on, dude.

I don't like like an old lady, y'all.

- What's wrong with being old lady?

- That's ageism.

Racism.

- Racism.

- Ageism.

- Sexism.

- Raz.

- You're razzing.

- You're razzing.

- Totally razzing.

Just razzing, though.

- Here's a word of advice.

Keep your legs open and your mouth closed, okay?

- Is he?

- Yeah.

It usually happens with older guys after they come.

I kind of like it.

- Mom.

- No, all.

- Oh, you know what?

I can only do a less 'cause you were watching right.

- Oh, I know.

- It was like I was some doing you all the time.

- Mm-hmm.

- Thank you so much, Daddy.

- No.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.

- She's hot, huh?

- What a girl.

- Hey, baby.

I'll see you around.

- That's the closet.

Yeah, I know that.

- Oh, boy.

- He is gross.

I think he's gorgeous.

And he's only pretending to be Republicans,

so people don't think he's gay.

- So?

What did you think?

- Honestly, I didn't realize it would be so functional.

- It usually is with guys.

- Mm-hmm.

- Mm-hmm.

- When you're so weird,

that's not even a conversation.

- Mm-hmm.

- I just, I wish I understood you guys.

- My dear, you never will until you learn.

- The mysteries of the penis.

- [laughs]

- It's also a necessarily complicated.

What's it all about?

- How does it do what it does?

- How could we possibly find this attractive?

- This dangling, throbbing thing.

And it's always changing.

I mean, the next minute it's this hard, pulsing, rigid thing.

And they're also different.

- Yeah.

- Wait, length, thickness, shape, hardness, taste.

Different shafts, different heads.

- Mushroom button cut, uncut?

- Why are we so fascinated in this stupid, wrinkly worm?

- It may be stupid, but I wish I had a dick for a day.

- You have a dick every day.

- No, but what does it feel like?

- No, but what does it feel like to have one of your own?

- But why don't we care about them at all?

I mean, look, it's ridiculous.

- Don't even get me started on the testicle.

- Ooh!

- Oh, well, round hanging baggy, tight, soft hard.

There's so much variety with the male genitalia.

- Excuse me.

- And you know what gets me is the texture.

They just don't feel like anything else on Earth.

- Wait, you don't even like dick.

- I love dick.

I just don't like what it's attached to.

- Hello, I'm up here.

- Can I ask you to do something?

- No.

- I didn't think we were doing that yet, but I guess so.

- Jump up and down.

- Ooh, yeah, I want to see that.

- Come on.

- Yeah.

- Isn't that painful?

- No.

- What about running?

Run through the door.

- No.

- What about running?

Run through the door.

- No.

- What about running? Run for us.

- Oh, yeah.

- Ooh, doesn't it hang around?

- Not your tits bang around.

- I don't have tits between my legs getting mashed by a pair of thighs.

- Okay, stop.

What happens to it all?

I mean, in your pants.

- Yeah, like, where does it all go?

- That is the mystery of the penis.

- Oh, for heaven's sake.

- Can we go party now?

- Nigel.

Why don't you join the party?

- Oh, no, I can't.

- Why not?

- I'm sure the girls have told you.

I'm not very big down there, and I just don't want to disappoint anyone.

- What?

- Nigel, if you think you can't please the woman

because of the size of your dick, then you don't understand the vagina.

- What don't I understand the mother of the vagina?

- Oh, well, oftentimes a big dick just glides right past it,

whereas a smaller dick will hit it.

- It's what?

- The spot.

- What spot?

- The...

- Prejudined here?

- Like, I got it a rain.

- Maybe like.

- Sorry, it was doing a dick, man.

- Oh, shit.

- Come on, let's try.

- Hey, Virginia, you ready to play now?

- Hey, guys.

- Oh.

- Is that why they call it?

- Down time.

- Hey, you look happy.

- I'm happy.

Happy to be here.

We all are.

Virginia, are you staying with us for good?

- Oh, I can't.

I would not be able to afford the rent.

- Rent.

We don't pay rent.

- Well, then who pays for all of this?

Cindy does.

She's loaded.

Come see.

- Guys.

Come on.

- What's supposed to be?

- Doesn't come on with it, so.

- Sir Timothy John Berners-Lee.

- Who?

He created the world's wide web.

He connected hypertext with TCP and DNFs.

- For the first time in history, ordinary people can get any kind of sex they want.

- It grew like me couldn't exist before the internet.

- My whole life is online.

- I'm sure you have other interests.

- No, you don't get it.

Her life is online.

They see everything.

- Who do?

- The guys.

There's a hundred of them.

- I just set it up for me.

- I do.

- Whatever I want and the guys watch every second of it.

You mean they...

- You can see us now?

- You didn't read the house rules.

- Say hello to Virginia, guys.

- I don't believe this. Who are these people?

- They're creeps.

- You're all creeps, guys.

- All right.

I'm going back to the party.

'Cause around this time, the boys get seedy and the girls get needy.

- That's where I come in.

- Cindy, can I have a word?

- Huh?

- Wait.

What the guys get nervous if I'm off camp for too long?

- So do I.

- Cindy, there has to be something else your life.

- Maybe a boyfriend?

- Nope.

- The guys are good, jealous about it.

- So I just go everybody.

- But, uh...

- I do have a gorgeous secret friend.

One of the guys sends me poetry.

The others don't know.

- Oh, so I invite him over in secret.

- Do me his contacts, I'll arrange it.

- Uh, you mean like...

- You mean like, actually me, him?

Like a real guy?

Oh, for...

- Ginger, all right.

I...

- Do that for me?

- Yeah.

- That is so exciting.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Just don't tell anyone, okay?

Okay.

- Cindy, they really don't like you off camp.

- Oh, don't worry.

They like this.

- Okay, guys.

Party time for Cindy.

(giggles)

(upbeat music)

(crowd cheers)

(upbeat music)

- Hey.

Isn't that great?

I cannot imagine that home monogamy thing.

Only fucking one guy.

- I'm going with that.

(laughing)

- So, are you guys going to do this for the rest of your lives?

- No.

- I have a normal life, you know?

- Wife and kids and stuff?

- Yeah.

- Normal.

That's nice.

- Yeah, I'll just do this on my side.

- You mean you'll cheat?

- Well, you have to cheat.

I mean, that's what a normal life is, right?

- I'm in shock.

I need to get fucked.

Come on, Steve.

(upbeat music)

(crowd cheers)

(laughing)

(upbeat music)

- Oh!

(laughing)

- Oh, it's you again.

You're at the club, right?

- I can't look for you, but you were real busy that night.

- I'm Rod, remember?

- Oh, yeah, hot Rod.

- You met my friend, Chris.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Oh, oh, oh, oh my God, I'm so sorry.

- That's fine.

(laughing)

- We were wondering if you would like to join us.

- Why? Wait, what?

What do you want?

I mean, sorry, that's wrong.

It's just the penis.

I was not expecting the penis.

(upbeat music)

- You never had to go?

- Is it that obvious?

I mean, I've just never had it, you know, any other ends.

Oh, we can try that whenever you want and take it real slow.

No.

I'm not want to bug you, but anytime.

(pop music)

Now,

or maybe later,

(pop music)

(pop music)

You go, girl!

Having a wild time?

Oh yeah.

That's amazing, huh?

(pop music)

Oh my goodness!

That feels amazing!

So,

what do you think?

I'm not such a weirdo, huh?

Are you ready?

I am.

You're the financial analyst.

No, that's my sister, Lorraine.

Oh, I know Lorraine,

I work in product development at Henson's.

No way, I used to do market research for them, are you Chuck?

No, I'm Chris.

Chuck's the sales guy.

Oh my god, guys, please!

All right, sorry.

(gasps)

Ooh, even I think that's hot.

Oh!

(gasps)

Ooh!

Jake?

Oh, yeah, sure.

Oh, shit.

(birds chirping)

Come on, he's waiting.

Oh, I'm so excited.

Here he is, Mr. Poetry.

Oh, gosh.

I'm not thinking.

Hi.

Hi.

I never met one of the guys before.

I love you completely and utterly and away.

That is unrestrained by any social norm.

Oh.

Would you like to go up to my room?

Can we begin in the traditional way first?

Oh, yes.

(laughs)

I would be beautiful.

(laughs)

(dramatic music)

(sighs)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

[music playing]

[grunting]

Oh, no!

Ah!

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

That was great.

Bye.

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

You were so beautiful.

[music playing]

[music playing]

You were in two separate rooms.

[music playing]

Wait a minute.

Is he--

[music playing]

I guess that's all he wanted.

Yeah, that technique has its advantages,

especially for him.

He's disgusting.

Shut up!

I thought he was so warm.

Where's Sweetheart?

I bet the guys really enjoyed watching.

Right, guys?

Nope.

Turned him off.

I'm not surprised.

Nope.

I mean, I've turned them off.

You--

You turned off the guys?

Oh, they're going nuts.

Look at the messages.

They're so mad.

[sighs]

I'm going out.

Wait.

Cindy, you never go out.

I'm going to go to a bar.

Oh, and I'm going to meet a guy.

Never going to fall in love.

Oh, it's going to be just like in the movies.

I can't believe you would do it.

What?

She deserves to find a man she loves.

Screw the guys.

They're the only guys we don't screw.

Who do you think pays for this house?

This is a disaster.

Our entire way of life is threatened.

We-- the guys pay for all of this, but there's such creeps.

But these creeps have money, and we never even have to meet them.

That's the best kind of guy you can get.

I'm ready.

Let's go.

Cindy.

Cindy.

We've progressed further than finding guys at bars.

That's why they invented the internet.

Love is a dangerous thing, OK?

I mean, you need to all types of consequences.

Such as, oh, expenses, emotion, pregnancy, argument,

diseases, legal fees.

He's right.

We, men, we're vulnerable.

True dad.

Come on, girls.

Let's leave these pricks about night.

You know what I think?

Women are from Venus.

And then I found the dollar store.

We believe those idiots.

We're going to mama.

Mother, right.

We know who we are.

Every month we'll remind it that we're animals living on a planet that we're absolutely connected to.

Men don't know who they are or what they're for.

Men are OK.

They lower their pants, you lower your expectations.

I know a guy who used to rate women's.

To fuck this one, he'd need a bag over her head.

To fuck that one, he'd need a bag over her head and three cans of beer.

To fuck a real dog, he'd need a bag over her head, a six pack, and a bag over his own head.

These are so stupid.

They confuse busy people.

They confuse physical beauty with sexual attraction.

But we all know the truth, right?

A good guy or the best box?

They have to be.

I don't care about ugly.

I just want a man.

But no man is going to want me to have a hundred guys.

If you found a man who'd be OK with...

No, you're right.

Men are so insecure.

I've totally screwed up everything, haven't I?

You're not as inevitable.

Juanita, when do you graduate?

Come on.

A month.

After that, I don't think I'm going to be able to afford the house.

I'm sorry, everyone.

Tell him, oh!

It's been a great run, City.

It has been a great run, hasn't it?

You know, we should do it tonight.

We should put our mail into bondage and force them to have sex with us.

Just like they do with the Leonard Dorkasmo.

[laughing]

[laughing]

[music playing]

[laughing]

Oh!

Oh!

[laughing]

Oh!

Oh, welcome to the Leonard Dorkasmo!

[laughing]

Oh, she's harder.

Harder!

Oh, Saint Jude!

Who is he?

The patron saint of Walt's causes.

Oh, yeah, I guess so.

Chris, you're up.

Clear space.

[music playing]

19.

You need earthlings.

[laughing]

So all this is coming to an end, thanks to me.

Are you okay?

I hope to, like, chance them.

[laughing]

You mean, you want Cindy?

Oh, look at that night of the machine, no?

No.

I'd have to tell her.

I think she might want to have sex with me.

That's not going to happen, is it?

This is ridiculous.

Truly!

Juanita!

Get off those guys.

Let's understand here.

Nigel.

Every size cock is normal.

From the smallest trim to the biggest jump-o-stramp.

Boy, it is interrupted.

It's better we worth it, Nigel.

I want to see your cockroach.

Thank you.

No.

I don't wish to be treated as a sex object, only defined by my genitalia.

You what?

That's how you treat men.

That's how you see them.

I see you guys doing all the time.

Who do not?

Okay, yeah.

Wait, I'm not going to accept that kind of penis-centered abuse from your proto-feminist hand-art?

You know what?

Fuck it.

Just fuck it.

There.

Not you want.

Hi, Joel.

That is a perfectly reasonable cock.

I bet it can be unereasable.

Nigel, I want to tell you that was small.

I saw the owner at the porn stars.

I've got these big dicks.

The fucking internet.

It makes us...

And it breaks us.

It's a perfectly great cock.

So you think Cindy might like it?

Cindy.

Cindy?

Yes, Nigel.

I think she might.

Okay, well, I think we have some business.

I do a time.

So you really think?

Yes.

Hey, guys.

Oh.

Oh.

Well, Nigel, what's going on?

Well, Nigel, what's next on the board?

Well, Virginia just did eye for internet sex.

Complete disaster.

Next up would be J for jealousy.

I refused to do jealousy.

Let's move on to K.

Are you sure?

Yes, K.

Clismophilia?

Erotic arousal by animals.

Sounds kind of fun.

Fun?

J...

I'm not sure I want to do this anymore.

I thought you wanted to join everything.

Yeah, well, maybe it's too many choices for one girl.

Life's about having choices.

You can never have too many choices.

She's just nervous.

The next letter is Alice.

Well, lesbian.

Oh, right.

I already took care of this.

Hey, Leslie.

Leslie, penis at the door is a hard.

No, it's easy.

They all are.

No, penis is allowed in here.

No, penis is allowed in here.

Yes, I know.

It's for Virginia.

We talked about this, right?

Oh, yeah.

Bring her in.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Were you two...

No.

If it's not a cock, I don't know how to work it.

Let's go, Jake.

Okay, girl.

If you're sure you want to do this, then let's get it out.

Oh, that's such a cute cat.

Is yours?

It's a she.

Vagina.

What?

That's her name.

If everyone insists on calling Vaginas, put it in the door.

I thought we should be consistent.

So, you want to stroke my little vagina?

How is it?

She wants you.

What she want me for?

Such a loser.

Virginia wants you.

No, no, no, no.

She does not.

We have a deal.

Work it out, Jake.

So?

So what happened?

I'm... she's not the one I met her sit in.

Vagina?

Oh, fuck, I must let the cat out.

Was this gonna be so mad at me?

Hi.

Virginia live here.

Yes, she's here.

But the whole lesbian thing is we're gonna work for her.

Come on in.

What, let's be in thing.

Fine.

Oh.

I'm fine.

Oh.

I'm fine.

Hi there.

Oh.

Vagina.

Where's my little girl?

Come even, Vagina.

Come here.

Virginia?

No, Vagina.

Ah!

Oh, Mom Becky!

What are you doing?

The pussy.

It's called Vagina.

I know.

I go to the gynecologist.

And the correct word is a vulva.

Why does it really make it?

Do you need to?

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh.

Thanks a lot, Stephen.

So this is how you live.

In a sex commune.

So what's wrong with having sex?

Having sex is one thing.

Having this much sex is outrageous.

Bathroom.

Right now.

We just passed with Mama.

She's here to see the urologists for a procedure.

Becky.

Why did you give her my address?

This was our secret.

Because you're living in a world of sin and depravity.

The reference says that the end times are coming in.

Becky, TV evangelists are crazy.

All they care about is cars, whores, and face lifts.

I know right from wrong.

And sex before men.

How are you going to know the marriage is right if the sex isn't?

What about love?

I'm talking about sex.

What's love got to do with it?

What is love got to do with it?

Got to do with it.

Got to do with it.

Got to do with it.

Got to do with it.

Got to do with it.

Got to do with it.

Got to do with it.

Got to do with it.

Becky.

Going.

Virginia, you call me.

If you have time to know your social engagements.

Mm-hmm.

I'll be way too busy with all my orgies and sex stuff.

You're okay.

My mother caught me looking for vagina and now we all have to move out because I thought that love was more important.

Sure, I'm fine.

Are we okay?

Uh-huh.

Leslie said you want to be for something.

Yeah, what do you think that could be?

Virginia, please.

Be reasonable.

I just want to say, you know, you and me.

I just want you to be happy.

You know, like I am.

You're happy.

Jake, all you are is a life support system for your dick.

How are you happy?

Aren't you?

No.

Do you have everything you need right here?

But I don't have you.

Hey, we made an agreement.

No, Jake, you made an agreement.

You've been scared of me ever since the day I got to this house and I don't know why.

And I'm not stupid, okay?

I can see that I'm under your skin just as much as you're under mine.

I think.

I think I could love you.

Could you ever feel the same?

I'm not sure.

I'm sure.

So say it.

Come on.

You know that.

You know that I have a hard time saying what I feel.

No, I think you have a hard time feeling what you feel.

I made a mistake.

I'm going to back up my things and I'm going to get a job.

What the fuck am I supposed to do?

Well, if you ain't knowing, I ain't telling.

I just can't wish you'd stop.

I'll never cross.

I'll never cross.

I'll never cross.

I'll never cross.

I'll never slide.

I don't get too far.

Maybe you're just not the one.

I can't make things so self because I never saw you.

I can't hold anywhere.

So I'll do all this thing.

I wanted to do.

I wanted to do.

I was you.

Were you a waste of time?

I'm literally at the door.

Somebody's coming.

I don't know.

I don't see her.

I mean, I'm waiting for someone to...

Hi, again.

Hi, is my sister here?

No, she left about a week ago.

Got her job in the corner.

She's not here, Mom.

She...

She's done.

She's out at me.

She hung up.

You don't have a smartphone?

Mother won't allow it.

She's afraid of what I might see on the internet.

Oh, right.

I have Jenny's new address in my room if you want to come in for a cold drink.

So what was their name again?

Hi, Jake.

Again.

So you got a job at sex shop?

It's an art gallery.

That's a pity.

Sex sales.

Well, art sells for more and it's dirtier.

Oh, hi.

Good afternoon.

Please take a look around.

Thank you.

Jenny, I miss you.

I need to talk.

Well, I don't miss you, Jake.

Okay?

Oh, bastard.

Remarkable, isn't it?

It is in fact the actual penis of the artist.

His own penis.

Yes, his very last direction.

He had it injected with a quick drying elastomer moments before it was surgically removed.

Why would he want to lose his penis?

To become a better human being.

So, so this is the real thing.

Yep.

She just wanted to be rid of the damn thing.

Now, while he was an expensive artist, she is even more so.

Jenny, you need to come back to the house.

Jake, no, please.

I'm working off a commission and I haven't made a single sale.

Can you please go?

But you really need to come back.

Can you actually use this?

Oh, yes.

The artist is very keen on her penis being used now that she's finished with it.

She sees it as a combination of life after death and recycling.

Can we try it out?

Uh, can you try it out?

Uh-huh.

Uh, no, I'm afraid not.

Uh, but you can touch it, I guess.

Oh my God.

It's perfect.

We'll take it.

But it's $25,000 for art like this, that's cheap.

Okay, you guys, it's fake.

It's a fake penis.

It's not real.

Oh, we know that.

Look at what you know.

You could just go like buy and build hours.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Then we'd have to hide it.

Now, this is art.

We can display this in our living room.

We'll take it.

Okay.

Okay.

Hey, everybody.

Look who it is.

Hey, guys and gals.

Oh, Virginia.

Hi.

Okay.

What the fuck is going on?

You need to go see Leslie.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[SCREAMING]

Seriously?

Ginny, I wanted to tell you.

Ginny, I wanted to tell you.

I just didn't know how.

I was scared you were going to tell Mom.

And this is not just sex, although, God,

the sex is so great.

I didn't even know it was possible.

I mean, I can't.

And I can't stop coming.

I know it's wicked.

I just feel so completely right.

And I love this woman so much.

Please tell me it's okay.

I know it's not what's--

Stop.

It's beautiful.

Oh, I am so glad we didn't fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck, yeah.

So am I.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Dantarada!

There she is.

I got it!

I graduated.

And I got offered a job.

[SCREAMING]

[LAUGHING]

I did it.

Now that everyone's here, I have an announcement to make.

Take a seat.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[SIGHS]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Before we leave the house, I'm getting married!

[SIGHS]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Wait, what?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[APPLAUSE]

No, no, no.

His name is Winston.

We met at a party.

He rolled off of some girl, our eyes met.

And there he was.

Oh, that is so romantic.

What kind of person is he?

Six inches.

Beer bottle.

Beer can.

Oh, my goodness!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Sweetie!

But does he love you?

Can't keep his hands off of me.

Well, OK, there must be something special about him.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So what is it?

Yeah.

He bends to the left.

You what?

I have a displaced G spot.

He's over to the right, and he bends to the left, so it's perfect.

I'm sorry.

You're going to marry a man because his penis bends to the left.

Oh, don't you worry.

I'll make it work.

Congratulations, you idiot!

[SCREAMING]

[LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHTER]

Hey, Cindy.

You're going to wear something crazy to the wedding?

I don't think I can go to the wedding.

What?

What?

What?

Why not?

I'll get you.

You're moving on with your career, and you're getting married.

Meanwhile, I've been doing this same job for 15 years,

and I've never even had a real boyfriend.

I've gotta go on my room.

No, wait.

Sweet.

Steve, you cannot interfere.

Oh, shit.

Come on, Mr. Pears, we can talk to you.

What's up, you see?

Speak.

I--

I think you should get the guys back online.

They miss you.

And.

And I can't bear to see you unhappy.

Because.

Because I--

I love you.

[GASP]

But you never said.

Because I thought the guys would get mad at me.

Oh, wait.

I guess no one would want all the guys there watching.

Actually?

That kind of turns me on.

Then why the fuck didn't you tell me?

I wouldn't you turn on the cam.

Get the guys back online right now.

Now, thought there's--

Take off your clothes.

And I'm the bad naked.

You--

[GASP]

Good.

Wait, Sydney.

Does it mean--

Oh, yeah.

We cannot stay in the house.

[GASP]

[GASP]

Steve, you were brilliant.

I never knew you had feelings.

Sure do.

I should keep him in my dick.

My kind of guy.

[GASP]

[GASP]

So this means you can say at the house again, right?

No, Jay.

I'll see you at the wedding.

[GASP]

You have the brain the size of one of my testicles.

Look, I know what you all think, OK?

But you just don't get it.

Virginia doesn't want all of that stuff.

Jesus sends a whole person.

She doesn't want to ruin what we have.

What am I going to do?

Chase after her?

How's that going to look, right?

[CHUCKLES]

And then what am I going to say?

Virginia, I love you.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Anyway, you don't even have testicles.

Neither do you.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, hey, Jay.

Looking good.

I think so.

You too.

Mom died!

There you are!

So good to meet you.

Oh!

So you're truly.

Yes.

Where is he?

Him?

Him?

Our son?

You know him.

He takes a long to get dressed.

Why did you choose me?

Winston.

For sure, I know what his name is.

Why did you choose me?

Winston.

He's exactly right for me.

You know how big one does hit you right at the back?

Slams your wallet, can interior remodel.

And a small one, yeah.

It just tickles all the reflexes.

Well, Winston, he's right in the middle.

Real nice shape, big head, smooth shaft.

A little curve.

Oh my god.

And incredibly hard.

Feels like he's made to measure with a pelvic bone,

like a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

It just hits my clip like a jackhammer.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Almost as good as my vibrator.

And how many guys can you say that about?

I just come like your scissors.

Oh, you cannot save truly from herself.

Let's get this done, everybody.

The ceremony will be led by an ordained minister

from the Church of Perpetual Abandoned.

My friend, Steve.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Can you leave a love?

Let's cut right to the chase.

Hold a beam.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHEERING]

Thank you, sister.

Jesus, Jesus.

Brother, shake.

Now I have been told to make this quick

so that we may get back to our party.

Yeah, no rings, except for this one.

Oh.

Oh, wonderful.

Now, do you, Winston, dude?

Do you take this woman truly to be your lovely wedding wife?

He does.

Yeah, yes, I see that.

Oh, please, I want her to give my atherous.

Yeah, not this one.

Okay, so I do.

I do.

I do.

I do.

Wonderful, wonderful.

Now, do you truly?

Pulling, pull, pull, pull.

Can I do my pull or no?

We have a ball.

Oh, no.

Hey, so I watched this movie and they got married.

And some guy said a poem, crying, everyone.

Maybe it was a funeral.

Same fucking thing, right?

[LAUGHTER]

Sorry, sorry.

Anyway.

Before we sign our oath, my love, we can't depend on luck.

One thing we must agree, my job, and that's the way we fuck.

If you see a girl you want my love, go on.

Take a chance.

Give her all the dick you got.

Give me your romance.

See, a boy you want my love.

Take him by the hair.

Yeah.

Take him any way you want as long as I can share.

So bring it home to me, my love.

Let our love be free.

Have sex with anything you like.

Just bring it home to me.

All right.

Let's hit it.

Well, um, do you truly take him a Winston?

Yes, Winston, to be your lovely, wedded wife.

husband.

Both.

Yes, I do.

Wonderful.

Well, now by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you.

Man, and wow.

Yeah!

I love you so much.

I love you so much.

I love you so much.

Oh, my God.

Yes, everyone in the pool.

Yes!

Go, go!

Go, go!

[LAUGHTER]

Go!

Go, go, go!

No, it's a key.

[LAUGHTER]

Oh, God.

Winston, your father.

Go away.

I know CPR.

No.

Get away from here.

Fuck off!

I haven't done this in years.

I have been waiting to do this.

Oh, my entire life.

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Go on.

Ginny, you leave it again?

Maybe.

Can I embarrass you, Jake?

Not possible.

Try it.

You're a really good friend.

And thanks to you, I have a bunch more.

Oh, hello, Kate.

And there's nothing you could ever do to hurt me.

Except lie to me.

What would I possibly have to lie to you about?

And would you see me?

Screwing everything that moves, yeah.

I know.

And that's all fine, Jake.

I like what you are.

And I don't want you to change.

But just promise me you won't stop change if it happens to you.

Yeah, sure.

OK.

Can we move on?

Winston, are you three the first of next month?

For you, yes.

That's the day we get married.

What?

I'm thinking you love me.

Deny it.

I--

Is this a joke?

Let's just hook up for a while.

For you, that means nothing.

We haven't even had sex.

You had your chance.

Virginia, you can't force me to spend the rest of my life with you.

Well, then you're going to be without me for the rest of your life.

Which is worse?

Listen, Jake, I love you.

And this is the only way I'm going to get you.

So if you say no, we both walk away.

I'm not very good at saying it.

That's why I'm saying it for you.

I can't just make a decision.

I made it for you.

So you're saying I don't have any choice in this.

I don't have a choice right now.

Done?

Done.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Congratulations, Jake.

Here, the key to this car, we put the papers in the glove box.

Pack your stuff inside so you can take it, drive off, get on with your life, and never come back.

Oh, classic girl, classic car.

What's it going to be, Jake?

Jake, life isn't about having choices.

It's about making them.

OK, I see what you're doing, everybody.

Thank you very much.

I appreciate it.

But I think it's a little too much.

I mean, I'm a pretty reasonable guy.

I mean, I don't know what I'm doing.

OK?

I think I definitely thought this over.

I mean, we have all my time.

Time is going to be done.

We have time.

Time is going to be done.

Keep it how it is.

Time is going to be done.

Time is going to be done.

Time is going to be done.

Time is going to be done.

Keep it how it is.

Keep it how it is.

Keep it how it is.

I mean, we need to do the rangers.

Ah!

Do it.

Ah!

Ah!

Come on.

Let's do it.

Are you kidding?

No.

Yeah, why not?

This is Charlie's garage.

This is where we met.

OK.

Understand.

There's no chance you're going to make me come.

Jake, yes, I am.

No, I promise you.

It's not going to happen.

No, I'm really, really--

No, I'm serious.

No, I'm really not way you're going to make me come.

Ah!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

L'a'ala' me d--

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

L'a'ala'ala's my love, and I'm not.

I'm not.

I just--

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I just--

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I love the

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I love the

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I love the

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I love the

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I love the

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I love the

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I love the

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I will say

that I have lost my mind.

Get your

life

crazy game

and I'll

I'll

raise it.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I'll raise it.

I'll raise it.

I'll raise it.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I'll raise it.

I'll raise it.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I'll raise it.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Nice time, but you know that you can't take me.

My name's Virginia, but I'm not your little lady.

Bad luck, you're not ever gonna claim me.

I'm the

yes, we wanna say no, it's on me.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I'm saying

I

lost my mind.

Let your

life

and

raise

I'll raise it.

I'll raise it.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I'll raise it.

I'll raise it.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I'll raise it.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I'll raise it.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I'll raise it.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ And now ♪