Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:09,275 --> 00:00:10,688
♪ You know it's gotta
be G'd up, yep ♪
2
00:00:10,689 --> 00:00:11,688
♪ That kind of ish
that make you cowards ♪
3
00:00:11,689 --> 00:00:13,274
♪ Get beat up, ha-ha ♪
4
00:00:13,275 --> 00:00:15,309
♪ We on the outs until we
called and go do bids ♪
5
00:00:15,310 --> 00:00:16,930
♪ Man, you know the
streets ain't for kids ♪
6
00:00:16,931 --> 00:00:18,378
♪ Come on, come on ♪
7
00:00:18,379 --> 00:00:21,379
♪ I can't take
the hood out of me ♪
8
00:00:23,379 --> 00:00:25,550
No white man talks
to me like that.
9
00:00:25,551 --> 00:00:29,412
You get a punch!
10
00:00:29,413 --> 00:00:32,481
Damn, "The Oprah Show"
done got crazy.
11
00:00:32,482 --> 00:00:34,757
Unc, this is
"The Color Purple" on BET.
12
00:00:34,758 --> 00:00:37,412
They got full movies
on this thing now?
13
00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:39,688
I should have
jacked Mrs. O'Lady's
14
00:00:39,689 --> 00:00:41,619
cable a long time ago.
15
00:00:41,620 --> 00:00:45,171
Next Saturday on BET,
live from Baltimore,
16
00:00:45,172 --> 00:00:47,378
it's the World Series
of Spades
17
00:00:47,379 --> 00:00:49,688
Super Tournament of Champions,
18
00:00:49,689 --> 00:00:51,930
featuring a cavalcade
of winners
19
00:00:51,931 --> 00:00:54,309
from the last 50 years.
20
00:00:54,310 --> 00:00:57,102
It's getting late.
21
00:00:57,103 --> 00:00:59,757
Time to throw the TV out
the window and go to bed.
22
00:00:59,758 --> 00:01:01,102
Oh my god, Mom!
23
00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:03,102
You're on TV with
a guy who looks
24
00:01:03,103 --> 00:01:04,688
like a skinny,
underwear-wearing version
25
00:01:04,689 --> 00:01:05,723
of Dad.
26
00:01:05,724 --> 00:01:07,412
I said, that's enough.
27
00:01:08,724 --> 00:01:09,861
I'm sorry.
28
00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:11,964
Spades is a sore spot with me.
29
00:01:11,965 --> 00:01:13,654
I-- I don't want
to talk about it.
30
00:01:13,655 --> 00:01:16,240
Oh, sis,
that breaks my heart.
31
00:01:16,241 --> 00:01:18,723
You were the best.
32
00:01:18,724 --> 00:01:20,102
Yes, we were.
33
00:01:20,103 --> 00:01:21,102
You were?
34
00:01:21,103 --> 00:01:22,826
Hell yeah.
35
00:01:22,827 --> 00:01:25,964
Your Moms and Pops won that
tournament four times in a row.
36
00:01:25,965 --> 00:01:28,171
That's all in the past now.
37
00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:29,861
But what a past.
38
00:01:31,931 --> 00:01:36,585
Ashford and Simpson, Peaches
and Herb, Arnold and Willis--
39
00:01:36,586 --> 00:01:38,033
peasants to us.
40
00:01:38,034 --> 00:01:40,412
When it came to duos
in the Spades game,
41
00:01:40,413 --> 00:01:44,136
we were unstoppable.
42
00:01:44,137 --> 00:01:45,792
We were in tune.
43
00:01:45,793 --> 00:01:48,309
We even had our own
special language.
44
00:01:48,310 --> 00:01:49,723
Don't mess this book up.
45
00:01:49,724 --> 00:01:50,999
We need it.
46
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,412
You're the one
underbidding, fool!
47
00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:55,102
Damn, I love it
when you get toxic.
48
00:01:55,103 --> 00:01:56,309
Where you coming in?
49
00:01:56,310 --> 00:01:58,550
A girl's best friend, dummy.
50
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,999
The more we'd bickered,
the better we'd played.
51
00:02:12,827 --> 00:02:14,481
You blew up the hotel?
52
00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:16,826
Nah, but it sure
felt that way.
53
00:02:16,827 --> 00:02:19,033
That's how good
things were with us.
54
00:02:19,034 --> 00:02:22,343
All day long we'd fight
and play killer Spades,
55
00:02:22,344 --> 00:02:25,826
and all night long
we'd make sweet--
56
00:02:25,827 --> 00:02:28,171
um, tater tots.
57
00:02:28,172 --> 00:02:29,895
I love tater tots.
58
00:02:29,896 --> 00:02:32,757
But it all went bad at the
tournament eight years ago.
59
00:02:32,758 --> 00:02:35,067
We were going
for the championship
60
00:02:35,068 --> 00:02:37,378
against our archrivals.
61
00:02:37,379 --> 00:02:40,033
But Henry was in terrible
shape by then.
62
00:02:40,034 --> 00:02:42,136
Even his liquor was on drugs.
63
00:02:42,137 --> 00:02:44,171
He ruined it for us.
64
00:02:44,172 --> 00:02:45,999
He-- I-- I don't want
to talk about it.
65
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,033
Whew!
66
00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:48,343
But it was bad.
67
00:02:48,344 --> 00:02:50,067
Carl Lewis singing
the national anthem bad?
68
00:02:50,068 --> 00:02:52,205
I said I don't want
to talk about it.
69
00:02:52,206 --> 00:02:54,895
What could he have
done that was so bad?
70
00:02:54,896 --> 00:02:58,723
I got the big joker, bitch!
71
00:02:59,896 --> 00:03:01,033
Oh!
72
00:03:02,413 --> 00:03:04,033
In the name of Jesus.
73
00:03:04,034 --> 00:03:05,964
OK, now that--
74
00:03:05,965 --> 00:03:07,447
that's pretty bad.
75
00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:09,654
Henry did six months
for indecent exposure.
76
00:03:09,655 --> 00:03:12,412
The judge gave him
a month for every inch.
77
00:03:12,413 --> 00:03:14,447
I would have done 12.
78
00:03:14,448 --> 00:03:16,826
13 if it was humid.
79
00:03:16,827 --> 00:03:19,585
That was the beginning
of the end for us.
80
00:03:19,586 --> 00:03:23,274
He's the only partner who could
match me, and he ruined it.
81
00:03:23,275 --> 00:03:25,447
I said goodbye
to Spades forever.
82
00:03:25,448 --> 00:03:27,240
I can see how much
you miss it, Mom.
83
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:28,688
Why don't you just
go to Baltimore
84
00:03:28,689 --> 00:03:30,964
and play a few games, you know,
have some fun?
85
00:03:30,965 --> 00:03:32,033
Fun?
86
00:03:32,034 --> 00:03:33,861
Spades is not fun.
87
00:03:33,862 --> 00:03:35,964
Spades is life.
88
00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:37,412
It gives you power.
89
00:03:37,413 --> 00:03:40,688
You don't just beat your
opponent; you ruin them.
90
00:03:40,689 --> 00:03:44,102
You crush their spirit,
and you feel alive.
91
00:03:44,103 --> 00:03:48,585
You are the king and the queen,
and your opponents are ants--
92
00:03:48,586 --> 00:03:52,067
worthless, miserable ants.
93
00:03:52,068 --> 00:03:55,999
And god, I miss it so!
94
00:03:57,068 --> 00:03:58,274
No, you are right.
95
00:03:58,275 --> 00:03:59,757
That does not sound fun.
96
00:03:59,758 --> 00:04:02,757
But I mean, look, if Dad
was such a good player,
97
00:04:02,758 --> 00:04:04,378
maybe you could ask
him to go with you.
98
00:04:04,379 --> 00:04:05,412
Give him another chance.
99
00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:07,205
After what he did?
100
00:04:07,206 --> 00:04:11,136
The only way on Earth I'd even
consider sharing a Spades table
101
00:04:11,137 --> 00:04:15,619
with him again would be
if he got completely sober,
102
00:04:15,620 --> 00:04:18,102
and we all know
that's never going to happen.
103
00:04:18,103 --> 00:04:19,550
OK, got it.
104
00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:21,171
Well, I'll give him
the good news tomorrow.
105
00:04:21,172 --> 00:04:24,171
Technically, I didn't say
I'd play with him again.
106
00:04:24,172 --> 00:04:26,033
She willing to
play with me again?
107
00:04:26,034 --> 00:04:27,930
Those were her exact words--
108
00:04:27,931 --> 00:04:29,378
more-- more or less.
109
00:04:29,379 --> 00:04:31,378
I'd love to toss them
cards with her again.
110
00:04:31,379 --> 00:04:33,723
We were on fire in those days.
111
00:04:33,724 --> 00:04:37,654
It was fight, fight,
fight, and then--
112
00:04:37,655 --> 00:04:38,999
put the pigs in the blanket.
113
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,067
You guys sure do
like hors d'oeuvres.
114
00:04:41,068 --> 00:04:42,033
OK, I'll play!
115
00:04:42,034 --> 00:04:43,792
Great.
116
00:04:43,793 --> 00:04:46,550
All you got to do is get clean
and sober by next Saturday.
117
00:04:46,551 --> 00:04:49,205
Oh, man,
I need a drink so bad.
118
00:04:50,448 --> 00:04:52,240
Dad, come on.
119
00:04:52,241 --> 00:04:54,033
You keep saying that you want
a chance to get back with Mom.
120
00:04:54,034 --> 00:04:56,447
Well, this is it, and you
might not get another one.
121
00:04:56,448 --> 00:04:57,999
I'll do it.
122
00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,516
After this.
123
00:04:59,517 --> 00:05:03,412
Ah, some crude
to get me in the mood.
124
00:05:03,413 --> 00:05:07,309
Henry Hart,
I can't believe my eyes.
125
00:05:07,310 --> 00:05:09,757
Did you really do it for me?
126
00:05:09,758 --> 00:05:13,033
I am totally,
unequivocally clean.
127
00:05:13,034 --> 00:05:14,412
I helped him, Mom.
128
00:05:14,413 --> 00:05:15,447
I mean, look, it really
wasn't that hard.
129
00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:16,585
Right, Dad?
130
00:05:16,586 --> 00:05:19,274
No, I breezed through it.
131
00:05:23,344 --> 00:05:25,654
Unhand me, motherfucker!
132
00:05:29,827 --> 00:05:31,861
Give me the
goddamn juice, nigga!
133
00:05:31,862 --> 00:05:32,826
I need it.
134
00:05:32,827 --> 00:05:35,930
Don't kill me, Spider Henry.
135
00:05:35,931 --> 00:05:37,516
Mama!
136
00:05:37,517 --> 00:05:39,826
Like I said, it was a breeze.
137
00:05:39,827 --> 00:05:42,723
Uh, you ain't seen none
of that flashback, did you?
138
00:05:42,724 --> 00:05:46,343
I didn't think you
could do it, but you did.
139
00:05:46,344 --> 00:05:49,309
All right,
we will go to Baltimore,
140
00:05:49,310 --> 00:05:51,240
and we will enter
that tournament.
141
00:05:51,241 --> 00:05:52,999
But you understand this--
142
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:57,205
you are my Spades
partner and nothing more.
143
00:05:57,206 --> 00:05:58,688
You will not touch me.
144
00:05:58,689 --> 00:06:00,481
You will not sniff my hair.
145
00:06:00,482 --> 00:06:02,895
You will not drink
a drop of alcohol.
146
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:03,895
I swear.
147
00:06:03,896 --> 00:06:05,171
Scout's honor.
148
00:06:05,172 --> 00:06:07,067
And Kevin is coming
along to watch you
149
00:06:07,068 --> 00:06:08,619
and be a buffer between us.
150
00:06:08,620 --> 00:06:09,585
I'll be co-buffer.
151
00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:11,067
Then it's done.
152
00:06:11,068 --> 00:06:12,964
We're going to take
our championship back,
153
00:06:12,965 --> 00:06:17,033
and the Harts are getting a
wholesome family vacation.
154
00:06:17,034 --> 00:06:21,378
Uh, this kind of undercuts
the moment, don't it?
155
00:06:21,379 --> 00:06:25,826
Nancy, I love you, but if
any of you scratch El CaCharro,
156
00:06:25,827 --> 00:06:28,240
I'll scratch you.
157
00:06:28,241 --> 00:06:30,412
Pop the trunk for us,
will you?
158
00:06:30,413 --> 00:06:31,930
Oh, no.
You cannot use the trunk.
159
00:06:31,931 --> 00:06:32,999
Why?
160
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,240
You got a body in there?
161
00:06:38,931 --> 00:06:41,136
Don't ask questions you
don't want the answer to.
162
00:06:41,137 --> 00:06:42,412
- Uh.
- Sí.
163
00:06:42,413 --> 00:06:43,895
Gracias.
164
00:06:43,896 --> 00:06:45,171
Boys, let's go.
165
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:47,516
both: Be right there.
166
00:06:47,517 --> 00:06:48,861
Why are you coming, anyway?
167
00:06:48,862 --> 00:06:50,585
I mean, you don't like Spades.
168
00:06:50,586 --> 00:06:52,447
You don't like any game
with counting involved.
169
00:06:52,448 --> 00:06:53,792
Nah, what I like
is all the poontang
170
00:06:53,793 --> 00:06:55,447
waiting for me in Baltimore.
171
00:06:55,448 --> 00:06:57,136
I went to that tournament
with Mom and Dad
172
00:06:57,137 --> 00:07:00,171
when I was, like, eight,
and the video game room at the
173
00:07:00,172 --> 00:07:03,033
hotel was full of older girls.
174
00:07:03,034 --> 00:07:04,550
Real PYTs.
175
00:07:04,551 --> 00:07:07,067
I'm talking bitches.
176
00:07:07,068 --> 00:07:11,171
Now, I'm a man now,
and I might have sex.
177
00:07:11,172 --> 00:07:14,585
And if you be nice,
I might even let you watch.
178
00:07:14,586 --> 00:07:15,999
I don't need your help.
179
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,240
I already have
the girl of my dreams.
180
00:07:18,241 --> 00:07:19,274
Hey, Rhe Rhe!
181
00:07:19,275 --> 00:07:22,550
Hey, hey, Kev.
182
00:07:22,551 --> 00:07:24,067
Wake up, fool.
183
00:07:24,068 --> 00:07:27,654
Girls like her only want
dudes with experience.
184
00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:28,999
I have experience.
185
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:29,999
Lots of it.
186
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,033
Oh, yeah?
187
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:33,447
You ever seen a boob?
188
00:07:33,448 --> 00:07:34,723
Does Gerald's count?
189
00:07:34,724 --> 00:07:36,136
Nigga, what's wrong with you?
190
00:07:36,137 --> 00:07:37,654
You scared of pussy?
191
00:07:37,655 --> 00:07:39,688
The only way to get
Rhe Rhe interested in you
192
00:07:39,689 --> 00:07:43,826
is to get some experience
with some real boobs.
193
00:07:43,827 --> 00:07:45,654
Next stop, Baltimore.
194
00:07:45,655 --> 00:07:47,619
Yah-dah-dee!
195
00:07:47,620 --> 00:07:49,654
Good luck!
196
00:07:49,655 --> 00:07:53,481
I'll be watching you
slinging Spades on BET.
197
00:07:53,482 --> 00:07:55,447
Hang on.
Hard turn.
198
00:07:55,448 --> 00:07:56,654
Ohh!
199
00:07:56,655 --> 00:07:59,033
- Whoa!
- Augh.
200
00:07:59,034 --> 00:08:02,102
So good to have
the family all together.
201
00:08:02,103 --> 00:08:04,757
Baby, we finally got
the crib to ourselves.
202
00:08:04,758 --> 00:08:07,688
A whole weekend of
stolen cable and chill.
203
00:08:07,689 --> 00:08:09,447
Richie, you got cable?
204
00:08:09,448 --> 00:08:12,861
I've been dying to see
that "Def Jam Comedy Hour."
205
00:08:12,862 --> 00:08:15,274
Lookit here,
this ear-hustling motherfucker.
206
00:08:17,172 --> 00:08:18,343
I call "Video Soul."
207
00:08:18,344 --> 00:08:20,171
"Australian Rules Football."
208
00:08:20,172 --> 00:08:21,481
Them uniforms are tight.
209
00:08:21,482 --> 00:08:22,481
"Comic View."
210
00:08:22,482 --> 00:08:25,067
I bring snacks, $10.
211
00:08:25,068 --> 00:08:26,688
Excuse me,
you mind if I sit on your lap?
212
00:08:26,689 --> 00:08:27,723
I'll sit here.
213
00:08:38,172 --> 00:08:39,619
I'm back, baby.
214
00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:42,550
Ooh, I smell that fire again.
215
00:08:42,551 --> 00:08:44,550
Sorry, that was
probably the propane
216
00:08:44,551 --> 00:08:46,274
I had lingering in my system.
217
00:08:46,275 --> 00:08:49,136
Try to hold it together
for at least five minutes.
218
00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:51,861
Nancy, you're looking
at a different Henry.
219
00:08:51,862 --> 00:08:55,412
Bartender, I'll have a
Mountain Dew, please.
220
00:08:55,413 --> 00:08:56,516
Neat.
221
00:08:56,517 --> 00:08:57,999
OK, here's the plan.
222
00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:01,481
I bag the hotties,
and you bag the ug mugs.
223
00:09:01,482 --> 00:09:02,688
Why do I get the ug mugs?
224
00:09:02,689 --> 00:09:03,999
No, I'm handsome.
225
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,792
Nigga,
you are four feet of fugly.
226
00:09:05,793 --> 00:09:07,964
Now come with me
to the game room--
227
00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:09,930
that's where all the
hotties were last time--
228
00:09:09,931 --> 00:09:12,343
and I'll show you
how much game I got.
229
00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:15,619
All right, now remember,
if you want to pull a chick,
230
00:09:15,620 --> 00:09:17,412
you gotta be smooth.
231
00:09:17,413 --> 00:09:18,619
You gotta be player.
232
00:09:18,620 --> 00:09:20,585
You gotta be--
233
00:09:20,586 --> 00:09:22,516
12?
234
00:09:22,517 --> 00:09:23,792
Aw, shit.
235
00:09:23,793 --> 00:09:25,826
This game room is full of kids.
236
00:09:25,827 --> 00:09:28,723
Oh, now one of them
coming over here.
237
00:09:28,724 --> 00:09:30,516
I can't be seen with her.
238
00:09:30,517 --> 00:09:32,274
Wait, where is she going?
239
00:09:32,275 --> 00:09:33,550
Hi, I'm Lynnie.
240
00:09:33,551 --> 00:09:34,585
What's your name?
241
00:09:34,586 --> 00:09:36,240
Lynnie-- is your name.
242
00:09:36,241 --> 00:09:37,343
Yeah.
243
00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:38,447
Well, my-- my name is, uh--
244
00:09:38,448 --> 00:09:39,516
don't tell me, I'll--
245
00:09:39,517 --> 00:09:40,516
I'll get it.
246
00:09:40,517 --> 00:09:41,550
It's, uh, Kev.
247
00:09:41,551 --> 00:09:42,550
Yeah, Kev.
248
00:09:42,551 --> 00:09:43,654
My name is Kev.
249
00:09:43,655 --> 00:09:45,619
You're funny.
250
00:09:45,620 --> 00:09:46,619
You want to play "Dig Dug"?
251
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:47,619
Yeah, sure.
252
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:48,654
I dug dig-- dig that.
253
00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:50,378
I mean, I dig dog that.
254
00:09:50,379 --> 00:09:51,757
I-- that game.
255
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:52,861
The-- the game.
256
00:09:52,862 --> 00:09:55,102
The old faking a stroke bit.
257
00:09:55,103 --> 00:09:56,861
Works every time.
258
00:09:56,862 --> 00:09:59,999
Live from the Spades capital
of the world, Baltimore,
259
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,378
Maryland,
it's the 50th Anniversary
260
00:10:02,379 --> 00:10:05,619
World Series of Spades
Tournament of Champions.
261
00:10:05,620 --> 00:10:06,757
I'm Rachel Stuart.
262
00:10:06,758 --> 00:10:08,343
And I'm Donnie Simpson.
263
00:10:08,344 --> 00:10:11,378
Welcome to the granddaddy
of Spades tournaments,
264
00:10:11,379 --> 00:10:15,964
sponsored by Magic Shave,
Magnum Condoms, and Snapple.
265
00:10:15,965 --> 00:10:19,205
Shave, make love,
hydrate, repeat.
266
00:10:19,206 --> 00:10:22,033
This year only
the best will compete,
267
00:10:22,034 --> 00:10:25,447
including two-time defending
champs Tami and Reverend Monty
268
00:10:25,448 --> 00:10:29,343
Money, and past legends
Nancy and Henry Hart,
269
00:10:29,344 --> 00:10:32,585
whose lifetime ban ended
on a technicality after
270
00:10:32,586 --> 00:10:34,654
he died for five minutes.
271
00:10:34,655 --> 00:10:38,861
Good god almighty,
Nancy and Henry.
272
00:10:38,862 --> 00:10:41,343
Haven't seen you since--
273
00:10:41,344 --> 00:10:42,826
you know.
274
00:10:42,827 --> 00:10:44,447
Ooh, we didn't think
you sinners would
275
00:10:44,448 --> 00:10:46,171
ever show your faces again.
276
00:10:46,172 --> 00:10:49,136
And we hope you don't
show anything else.
277
00:10:49,137 --> 00:10:50,585
Just our cards.
278
00:10:50,586 --> 00:10:52,654
And good luck to you.
279
00:10:54,275 --> 00:10:56,447
Augh! Ohh! Nancy!
280
00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:58,792
Every night
when my head hits the pillow,
281
00:10:58,793 --> 00:11:01,550
I think about what you
did to make us lose.
282
00:11:01,551 --> 00:11:04,447
And I'm going to feed on that
angle to put us over
283
00:11:04,448 --> 00:11:05,550
the top again.
284
00:11:05,551 --> 00:11:07,343
Now let's play some Spades!
285
00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:26,481
Yes!
286
00:11:38,206 --> 00:11:40,723
High-top fades
may be in, but Nancy
287
00:11:40,724 --> 00:11:42,619
Hart just won with a low cut.
288
00:11:48,862 --> 00:11:51,343
Crikey,
another score for Brisbane!
289
00:11:52,310 --> 00:11:53,585
Boo!
290
00:11:53,586 --> 00:11:54,895
This is the shit
you did in the joint!
291
00:11:54,896 --> 00:11:57,343
- This sucks!
- Hey, I want to watch BET.
292
00:11:57,344 --> 00:11:59,619
My big sister
is slangin' Spades.
293
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:03,343
Whoa!
Listen up, fuckers.
294
00:12:03,344 --> 00:12:06,723
Richard stole this cable,
so he decides what we watch.
295
00:12:06,724 --> 00:12:08,930
And he wants
to watch his sister
296
00:12:08,931 --> 00:12:11,999
play some fucking Spades!
297
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:16,654
Damn,
she said it with her breasts.
298
00:12:16,655 --> 00:12:18,067
I'm in love.
299
00:12:18,068 --> 00:12:20,412
Brian Weaver
with a crazy play,
300
00:12:20,413 --> 00:12:23,792
coming strong with
an ace of spades.
301
00:12:23,793 --> 00:12:25,240
Damn it, Henry,
why were you throwing
302
00:12:25,241 --> 00:12:28,240
off spades if your stupid
behind didn't have the ace?
303
00:12:28,241 --> 00:12:30,481
Don't doubt me,
be about me, baby.
304
00:12:30,482 --> 00:12:31,516
Bam!
305
00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:33,688
The big joker.
306
00:12:33,689 --> 00:12:36,378
Look out, world--
the Harts are back!
307
00:12:36,379 --> 00:12:38,757
They're in the finals against
defending champs
308
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,274
the Reverend Monty
and Tami Money.
309
00:12:41,275 --> 00:12:43,205
It'll be saints
versus sinners.
310
00:12:43,206 --> 00:12:46,033
Find out who takes
home the grand prize--
311
00:12:46,034 --> 00:12:51,102
a year's supply of Rice
Baloney, the Sacramento Treat.
312
00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:53,895
Henry, we finally
got our rematch!
313
00:12:53,896 --> 00:12:55,757
I'm so glad you gave
me another chance.
314
00:12:55,758 --> 00:12:57,378
You know what?
315
00:12:57,379 --> 00:12:59,826
I'm glad too.
316
00:13:06,896 --> 00:13:07,930
You won!
317
00:13:07,931 --> 00:13:09,895
You're really good, Kev.
318
00:13:09,896 --> 00:13:11,550
Yeah, well, you know, I, um--
319
00:13:11,551 --> 00:13:13,550
I get a lot of practice
of shooting lasers at invading
320
00:13:13,551 --> 00:13:14,861
space worms in Philly.
321
00:13:14,862 --> 00:13:16,309
Ooh, I like Philly boys.
322
00:13:16,310 --> 00:13:17,447
Me too.
323
00:13:17,448 --> 00:13:18,792
I mean, uh, no.
324
00:13:18,793 --> 00:13:20,999
So space worms, huh?
325
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,240
Those-- pew, pew, pew, pew.
326
00:13:24,241 --> 00:13:27,378
Excuse me for one tiny second.
327
00:13:27,379 --> 00:13:29,033
Robert, hey.
328
00:13:29,034 --> 00:13:30,826
I'm talking to that girl,
but I don't know what to do.
329
00:13:30,827 --> 00:13:32,136
Oh, boo-hoo.
330
00:13:32,137 --> 00:13:34,033
You picked up a girl
in five minutes,
331
00:13:34,034 --> 00:13:36,481
and the only girl I got on
my hands is Ms. Pac-Man.
332
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:39,378
I mean, I do like 'em
light-skinned, but damn!
333
00:13:39,379 --> 00:13:41,688
Please, just give
me one pointer.
334
00:13:41,689 --> 00:13:42,723
No, moron.
335
00:13:42,724 --> 00:13:43,757
You overthinking it.
336
00:13:43,758 --> 00:13:45,309
She's already into you.
337
00:13:45,310 --> 00:13:47,481
You need to take her to the
room and make your move.
338
00:13:47,482 --> 00:13:49,585
Remember, when you get
her up in that room
339
00:13:49,586 --> 00:13:52,033
and you start smooching
and you beating them
340
00:13:52,034 --> 00:13:53,999
cheeks, you doing it
for Rhe Rhe.
341
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,723
So to get Rhe Rhe to like
me, I gotta do the nasty
342
00:13:57,724 --> 00:13:59,205
with a random girl I just met?
343
00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:02,033
Ah, now you're getting it.
344
00:14:02,034 --> 00:14:03,102
Now go get it!
345
00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:05,447
This is for Rhe Rhe.
346
00:14:05,448 --> 00:14:09,619
So I was wondering
if you, uh, want--
347
00:14:09,620 --> 00:14:10,723
want to take a walk.
348
00:14:10,724 --> 00:14:13,999
You know, get some fresh air--
349
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,378
in my room?
350
00:14:15,379 --> 00:14:16,550
OK.
351
00:14:16,551 --> 00:14:17,447
My bad, I didn't mean it.
352
00:14:17,448 --> 00:14:18,585
Wait, what?
353
00:14:18,586 --> 00:14:19,895
You-- hold on, you said yes?
354
00:14:23,620 --> 00:14:25,033
He did it!
355
00:14:25,034 --> 00:14:27,033
Wait, why do I care?
356
00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:28,826
I gotta get laid.
357
00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:31,067
Oh, hell no.
358
00:14:31,068 --> 00:14:33,481
I'm not into no Jurassic ass.
359
00:14:35,862 --> 00:14:37,343
Kev, you got this.
360
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:39,412
Kissing a girl for Rhe Rhe,
OK?
361
00:14:39,413 --> 00:14:40,999
Everything is going
to be fine.
362
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,516
There's nothing
to be afraid of.
363
00:14:43,517 --> 00:14:44,895
Yes!
364
00:14:44,896 --> 00:14:46,171
That's the Hammerin'
Hank I remember.
365
00:14:46,172 --> 00:14:47,861
Mmm, Kevin want
a little brother!
366
00:14:47,862 --> 00:14:48,895
Mmm!
367
00:14:48,896 --> 00:14:50,274
Who is the King of Harts?
368
00:14:50,275 --> 00:14:52,309
You are, Big Daddy Spade!
369
00:14:53,137 --> 00:14:54,792
What the hell was that?
370
00:14:54,793 --> 00:14:55,861
I don't know!
371
00:14:55,862 --> 00:14:58,757
I mean, did I really see it?
372
00:14:58,758 --> 00:15:00,378
Yah-dah-dee!
373
00:15:00,379 --> 00:15:02,274
Whoo! Oh!
374
00:15:02,275 --> 00:15:03,274
Shit!
375
00:15:03,275 --> 00:15:05,274
Oh my god, I did see it.
376
00:15:05,275 --> 00:15:07,033
I don't know what kind
of shit you're into,
377
00:15:07,034 --> 00:15:08,550
but I want no part of it.
378
00:15:08,551 --> 00:15:10,378
No, no, wait a minute.
You don't understand.
379
00:15:10,379 --> 00:15:11,205
I'm not a freak.
380
00:15:11,206 --> 00:15:12,585
Those are my parents.
381
00:15:12,586 --> 00:15:13,861
What?
382
00:15:13,862 --> 00:15:16,137
You Philly niggas is nasty.
383
00:15:19,068 --> 00:15:21,378
Man, this weekend sucks.
384
00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:24,481
The girls here are either
too young or too old,
385
00:15:24,482 --> 00:15:26,481
and now I'm all
out of quarters.
386
00:15:26,482 --> 00:15:27,826
Man, I just want
to go to sleep.
387
00:15:27,827 --> 00:15:29,654
Hey, man, just trust me, OK?
388
00:15:29,655 --> 00:15:32,171
You do not want to be anywhere
near this room tonight.
389
00:15:32,172 --> 00:15:33,688
Why the hell not?
390
00:15:33,689 --> 00:15:36,067
Swing them balls low,
sweet chariot.
391
00:15:37,275 --> 00:15:38,102
Yeah!
392
00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:39,516
Sock it to me, baby.
393
00:15:39,517 --> 00:15:43,723
Man, everybody's getting
ass except for us.
394
00:15:43,724 --> 00:15:45,310
This trip sucks.
395
00:15:55,206 --> 00:15:57,826
Oh lord, we really did that?
396
00:15:57,827 --> 00:16:00,688
I tried to convince
myself it was a bad dream.
397
00:16:00,689 --> 00:16:02,136
Oh, it was real.
398
00:16:02,137 --> 00:16:03,619
And speaking of, you a nurse.
399
00:16:03,620 --> 00:16:06,136
Can you stitch up the
nipple you bit off my chest?
400
00:16:06,137 --> 00:16:08,205
- This is awful!
- What?
401
00:16:08,206 --> 00:16:11,033
But didn't I make the
poon-poon go boom-boom?
402
00:16:11,034 --> 00:16:12,723
You certainly did.
403
00:16:12,724 --> 00:16:15,412
But, Henry,
I can't get back with you.
404
00:16:15,413 --> 00:16:18,930
This was a one-time,
seven-orgasm accident
405
00:16:18,931 --> 00:16:20,412
that'll never happen again.
406
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:24,309
I counted eight,
but I understand.
407
00:16:24,310 --> 00:16:25,171
We cool?
408
00:16:25,172 --> 00:16:27,550
Oh, we are cool.
409
00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:28,757
I am cool.
410
00:16:28,758 --> 00:16:30,516
I am so cool.
411
00:16:30,517 --> 00:16:33,067
When somebody shouts
like that, you know it's true.
412
00:16:34,551 --> 00:16:37,550
It's Nancy
and Henry Hart versus Tami
413
00:16:37,551 --> 00:16:40,343
and Monty Money
for the championship title.
414
00:16:40,344 --> 00:16:42,861
And just like
an inner-city 7-Eleven,
415
00:16:42,862 --> 00:16:45,413
we are down to the last straw.
416
00:16:51,068 --> 00:16:53,413
Nancy, what you coming in?
417
00:16:55,379 --> 00:16:59,274
Baby, I said,
what are you coming in?
418
00:16:59,275 --> 00:17:00,826
Who said anything
about coming?
419
00:17:00,827 --> 00:17:02,309
Ain't nobody coming.
420
00:17:02,310 --> 00:17:04,792
A 3?
421
00:17:04,793 --> 00:17:07,757
I'm very confused
by Nancy's strategy.
422
00:17:07,758 --> 00:17:09,551
Or lack thereof.
423
00:17:11,137 --> 00:17:12,688
Focus on the cards, Nancy.
424
00:17:14,068 --> 00:17:16,826
Forget the cards and
focus on your cooter-cat.
425
00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:19,930
Or rather, let me.
426
00:17:21,689 --> 00:17:23,241
Mmm-mmm.
427
00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:25,723
I call a ream-out.
428
00:17:25,724 --> 00:17:27,585
I-- I mean a time-out.
429
00:17:28,827 --> 00:17:29,895
Nancy!
430
00:17:31,379 --> 00:17:32,999
Nancy!
431
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,723
I mean this in the nicest way,
but what in the actual fuck?
432
00:17:36,724 --> 00:17:38,102
Why'd you throw that 3?
433
00:17:38,103 --> 00:17:40,171
You got me off
my game, Henry.
434
00:17:40,172 --> 00:17:41,654
I can't believe it.
435
00:17:41,655 --> 00:17:43,930
We are this close
to winning it all again,
436
00:17:43,931 --> 00:17:46,999
and then I sleep with
you and I lose my edge.
437
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,585
Damn!
438
00:17:48,586 --> 00:17:51,550
Why must I be blessed
with this Mandingo manhood?
439
00:17:51,551 --> 00:17:54,412
Henry, I didn't know how
much I missed the feeling
440
00:17:54,413 --> 00:17:57,378
that Spades gave me
till I came back to it,
441
00:17:57,379 --> 00:17:59,550
and I don't want
to give it up again.
442
00:17:59,551 --> 00:18:02,792
But I can't be great
without that edge.
443
00:18:02,793 --> 00:18:03,930
I have to be mad at you.
444
00:18:03,931 --> 00:18:04,930
I have to--
445
00:18:08,896 --> 00:18:12,412
Henry, thank you for
getting sober, like I asked.
446
00:18:12,413 --> 00:18:14,550
Well, that's how
much I care about you.
447
00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:16,826
I want you to win
this championship.
448
00:18:16,827 --> 00:18:22,309
I know you do, but to win
I need to be furious at you.
449
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:28,309
So, Henry, I am asking you
for us-- for me--
450
00:18:28,310 --> 00:18:31,102
drink your face
off one more time.
451
00:18:31,103 --> 00:18:34,240
Oh, Nancy.
452
00:18:34,241 --> 00:18:37,205
But getting clean was so hard.
453
00:18:37,206 --> 00:18:39,136
I mean,
isn't there something else
454
00:18:39,137 --> 00:18:40,585
I could do to piss you off?
455
00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:43,136
Like, can I bone
your sister or something?
456
00:18:43,137 --> 00:18:44,861
She lives in Tampa.
457
00:18:44,862 --> 00:18:46,550
There's no time.
458
00:18:46,551 --> 00:18:52,309
Please, if you love me,
don't just fall off the wagon.
459
00:18:52,310 --> 00:18:54,413
Jump off that bitch!
460
00:18:56,310 --> 00:19:01,205
OK,
for the good of this family,
461
00:19:01,206 --> 00:19:03,412
I will get fucked up!
462
00:19:09,793 --> 00:19:11,999
Ahh, ahh.
463
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,102
Ahh!
Ahh!
464
00:19:22,655 --> 00:19:24,378
Where the hell are they?
465
00:19:24,379 --> 00:19:25,378
Hold on!
466
00:19:25,379 --> 00:19:26,619
Here we come.
467
00:19:26,620 --> 00:19:30,619
All right,
all right, all right.
468
00:19:30,620 --> 00:19:33,067
That nigga's swaying
like a pendulum.
469
00:19:35,448 --> 00:19:36,585
Shit! Ohh! Ohh!
470
00:19:36,586 --> 00:19:38,309
Argh.
471
00:19:38,310 --> 00:19:40,171
God damn, are you trying
to pierce my shit?
472
00:19:40,172 --> 00:19:41,205
Sit down.
473
00:19:41,206 --> 00:19:42,930
You're embarrassing me.
474
00:19:42,931 --> 00:19:45,688
Oh my god, my anger is back!
475
00:19:47,241 --> 00:19:49,033
Let's do this.
476
00:19:49,034 --> 00:19:51,481
Broke-ass, big-balled loser.
477
00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:53,654
Worthless puke bucket.
478
00:19:55,103 --> 00:19:58,723
Used vacuum cleaner on
my birthday buying lowlife!
479
00:19:58,724 --> 00:20:01,861
Folks, Nancy Hart is on fire!
480
00:20:01,862 --> 00:20:04,550
And Henry Hart
is on something else.
481
00:20:04,551 --> 00:20:06,757
Anything is possible!
482
00:20:06,758 --> 00:20:09,033
I really don't know
how to play Spades.
483
00:20:09,034 --> 00:20:10,412
You hook up with
that Lynnie yet?
484
00:20:10,413 --> 00:20:12,033
She's right there
ready to get freaky.
485
00:20:12,034 --> 00:20:12,999
What you waiting on?
486
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,067
No way.
487
00:20:14,068 --> 00:20:15,136
Mm-mm.
488
00:20:15,137 --> 00:20:16,585
I'm through with all that.
489
00:20:16,586 --> 00:20:18,136
Maybe for the rest of my
life after what I saw.
490
00:20:18,137 --> 00:20:19,826
Damn!
491
00:20:19,827 --> 00:20:22,171
I knew you were scared of
pussy, scary-ass little nigga.
492
00:20:22,172 --> 00:20:23,550
Stop it!
493
00:20:23,551 --> 00:20:24,688
I'm tired of you
bullying me into doing
494
00:20:24,689 --> 00:20:25,999
stuff that I don't want to do.
495
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,723
I'm only 12 years old, Robert.
496
00:20:27,724 --> 00:20:30,999
And I met a nice girl who
likes how I shoot space bugs,
497
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,688
and that's enough for me.
498
00:20:32,689 --> 00:20:35,343
So leave me alone and smooch
your own cheeks, damn it!
499
00:20:35,344 --> 00:20:38,895
You don't have to be so mean.
500
00:20:38,896 --> 00:20:40,171
Come here.
501
00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:43,033
Did that scary boy hurt you?
502
00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:44,516
Yes, ma'am.
503
00:20:44,517 --> 00:20:45,861
Mmm.
504
00:20:45,862 --> 00:20:49,033
You smell like Bengay
and root beer candy
505
00:20:49,034 --> 00:20:51,792
with a hint of Epsom salt.
506
00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:54,067
I heard what you just
said to your brother.
507
00:20:54,068 --> 00:20:55,516
You did?
508
00:20:55,517 --> 00:20:58,826
Yeah, and it makes me
want to do this.
509
00:20:58,827 --> 00:21:01,378
Mwah!
510
00:21:01,379 --> 00:21:05,205
Maybe I'll see you again
in four years.
511
00:21:05,206 --> 00:21:06,516
It happened!
512
00:21:06,517 --> 00:21:09,067
I finally got my first kiss.
513
00:21:09,068 --> 00:21:10,654
I'm proud of you, son.
514
00:21:10,655 --> 00:21:12,723
Ooh, Nancy, Kev just got his--
515
00:21:12,724 --> 00:21:13,688
Shut up!
516
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,205
I'm about to win this thing.
517
00:21:15,206 --> 00:21:20,205
My Henry's a clown,
but you two are going downtown.
518
00:21:20,206 --> 00:21:22,067
Yes!
519
00:21:22,068 --> 00:21:24,378
It's the big joker!
520
00:21:24,379 --> 00:21:25,447
They've done it.
521
00:21:25,448 --> 00:21:27,274
Nancy and Henry win!
522
00:21:27,275 --> 00:21:29,654
Man, fuck this shit,
fuck Baltimore,
523
00:21:29,655 --> 00:21:34,067
and fuck you, Donnie Simpson,
green-eyed nigga!
524
00:21:37,413 --> 00:21:39,067
That's my big
sister right there!
525
00:21:39,068 --> 00:21:41,930
And that's my brother-in-law
fighting the security guard!
526
00:21:41,931 --> 00:21:45,378
I can rip a whole fender
off a car when I'm on PCP.
527
00:21:49,586 --> 00:21:52,240
I know Marisol
said not to use her trunk,
528
00:21:52,241 --> 00:21:54,033
but we got too much stuff.
529
00:21:54,034 --> 00:21:57,171
We have no choice.
530
00:21:57,172 --> 00:21:58,723
Oh, shit!
531
00:21:58,724 --> 00:22:01,343
What kind of
John Gotti shit is this?
532
00:22:03,206 --> 00:22:04,654
You like Rice Baloney?
533
00:22:04,655 --> 00:22:07,620
You gonna have to eat it
with no hands, though.
36580
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof