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1
00:00:12,586 --> 00:00:15,586
♪ I can't take the hood
out of me ♪
2
00:00:19,896 --> 00:00:21,516
Single file!
3
00:00:21,517 --> 00:00:23,447
Excellence through discipline!
4
00:00:23,448 --> 00:00:26,205
Today's lunch is
tuna salad hot dogs!
5
00:00:26,206 --> 00:00:28,550
Oh, man!
Tuna dogs?
6
00:00:28,551 --> 00:00:31,136
This is gonna be a good day.
Whoo!
7
00:00:31,137 --> 00:00:33,412
And it just got better.
8
00:00:33,413 --> 00:00:35,585
♪ Only need love when
you let me go ♪
9
00:00:35,586 --> 00:00:39,343
That's my queen,
Rhe to the Rhe.
10
00:00:39,344 --> 00:00:42,930
♪ And this type of love
is sweet and sour ♪
11
00:00:44,379 --> 00:00:46,378
She's handing out invites
to the bangin' party
12
00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:48,619
her and her big sister
are havin' this Saturday.
13
00:00:48,620 --> 00:00:50,964
There are gonna be
teenage girls there, Kev!
14
00:00:50,965 --> 00:00:52,826
You hear me?
Teenage girls!
15
00:00:52,827 --> 00:00:56,412
I gotta get an invite,
or at least make the waitlist.
16
00:00:56,413 --> 00:00:57,930
Her party got a waitlist?
17
00:00:57,931 --> 00:00:59,343
Hell yeah!
18
00:00:59,344 --> 00:01:03,516
If five or six people get
food poisoning, we're in!
19
00:01:03,517 --> 00:01:05,343
Uh, let others pray
for the explosive diarrhea
20
00:01:05,344 --> 00:01:06,688
to take out their enemies.
21
00:01:06,689 --> 00:01:08,033
Not Kev.
22
00:01:08,034 --> 00:01:10,412
See, I know Rhe Rhe's
gonna invite me.
23
00:01:10,413 --> 00:01:11,964
She's saving the best for last.
24
00:01:11,965 --> 00:01:12,999
So back up.
Thank you.
25
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,412
Excuse me, please.
26
00:01:14,413 --> 00:01:16,033
I need room to be smooth.
27
00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:17,930
Hello, Kevin.
28
00:01:17,931 --> 00:01:19,723
Oh, what up, Rhe Rhe?
29
00:01:19,724 --> 00:01:22,378
You know, I'm really glad
I ran into you.
30
00:01:22,379 --> 00:01:24,136
Well, that makes two of us.
31
00:01:24,137 --> 00:01:25,930
Kevin, would you...
32
00:01:25,931 --> 00:01:27,171
Oh, you know I would.
33
00:01:27,172 --> 00:01:28,826
Give this invitation
to your brother?
34
00:01:30,379 --> 00:01:32,757
My sister Jackie wants him
to come to our party real bad.
35
00:01:32,758 --> 00:01:33,964
Oh, yeah.
36
00:01:33,965 --> 00:01:35,378
Robert's the bomb, right?
He's a great guy.
37
00:01:35,379 --> 00:01:36,516
I'm not hating on him.
38
00:01:36,517 --> 00:01:38,378
But, uh,
39
00:01:38,379 --> 00:01:39,964
well, are you sure there
isn't an invitation
40
00:01:39,965 --> 00:01:41,826
in that Trapper Keeper for Kev?
41
00:01:41,827 --> 00:01:43,205
Oh, I'm sure.
42
00:01:43,206 --> 00:01:45,343
It's a small Trapper Keeper.
43
00:01:45,344 --> 00:01:47,550
It's all empty now.
44
00:01:47,551 --> 00:01:48,585
See?
45
00:01:49,965 --> 00:01:51,240
OK, OK.
46
00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:52,585
But look,
you can't have a party
47
00:01:52,586 --> 00:01:54,309
without my famous
new jack swing,
48
00:01:54,310 --> 00:01:56,895
slow jam, body roll mixtape
in mint condition.
49
00:01:56,896 --> 00:01:58,447
It's got all my favorites.
50
00:01:58,448 --> 00:02:01,136
I'm talking Babyface, En Vogue,
Rude Boys, Boys II Men,
51
00:02:01,137 --> 00:02:02,378
Kevin.
52
00:02:02,379 --> 00:02:03,343
New Edition,
oldies but goodies--
53
00:02:03,344 --> 00:02:04,585
- Kevin!
- Lisa Fischer.
54
00:02:04,586 --> 00:02:07,033
OK, Kevin!
55
00:02:07,034 --> 00:02:08,481
You can come
56
00:02:08,482 --> 00:02:10,688
if you bring
your slow jam tape.
57
00:02:10,689 --> 00:02:13,274
Oh, yeah.
It will be brung.
58
00:02:13,275 --> 00:02:15,205
Good.
I'll see you then.
59
00:02:15,206 --> 00:02:16,930
Oh, I will be seen.
60
00:02:16,931 --> 00:02:18,550
By you.
61
00:02:18,551 --> 00:02:21,412
OK, Kev, all you gotta do is
make the best slow jam mixtape
62
00:02:21,413 --> 00:02:24,205
in the history of slow jam
mixtapes by Saturday night.
63
00:02:26,482 --> 00:02:28,102
♪ Tell me ♪
64
00:02:29,586 --> 00:02:33,378
♪ When will I see you
smile again? ♪
65
00:02:33,379 --> 00:02:37,688
♪ 'Cause I know I messed up,
baby, oh ♪
66
00:02:37,689 --> 00:02:40,412
♪ And I know you're fed up,
ooh, sugar ♪
67
00:02:40,413 --> 00:02:42,033
♪ Hey, hey ♪
68
00:02:42,034 --> 00:02:44,378
♪ Tell me ♪
69
00:02:44,379 --> 00:02:48,654
♪ When will I see you
smile again? ♪
70
00:02:48,655 --> 00:02:52,205
♪ 'Cause I know I messed up,
baby ♪
71
00:02:55,620 --> 00:02:56,964
Just as I thought.
72
00:02:56,965 --> 00:02:59,516
I am fine as hell.
73
00:02:59,517 --> 00:03:01,654
Richard,
you got any plans tonight?
74
00:03:01,655 --> 00:03:03,861
No, sis.
Just a quiet Saturday.
75
00:03:03,862 --> 00:03:05,412
Me, some Tastykakes,
76
00:03:05,413 --> 00:03:07,930
and conking out to
America's greatest dad,
77
00:03:07,931 --> 00:03:09,378
Cosby.
78
00:03:09,379 --> 00:03:12,585
Rizzum, razzum,
dizzum, dazzum daw.
79
00:03:12,586 --> 00:03:16,309
Something about that man
just puts me right to sleep.
80
00:03:16,310 --> 00:03:18,516
Well, you have
a relaxing time.
81
00:03:18,517 --> 00:03:20,205
I'm going out with Marisol
to go to--
82
00:03:20,206 --> 00:03:21,792
Robert, will you stop messing
with my clothes, please?
83
00:03:21,793 --> 00:03:23,171
Will you stop
being a little punk?
84
00:03:23,172 --> 00:03:25,964
There may be a murder.
85
00:03:25,965 --> 00:03:27,550
Damn it, get your
hands off my balls.
86
00:03:27,551 --> 00:03:29,861
Stop touching my balls!
Get your hands off my balls!
87
00:03:29,862 --> 00:03:31,550
What kind of hot mess are
you wearing, anyway?
88
00:03:31,551 --> 00:03:33,067
This is a party, not the prom.
89
00:03:33,068 --> 00:03:34,516
Well, Mom thinks I look nice.
90
00:03:34,517 --> 00:03:36,240
If you embarrass me,
91
00:03:36,241 --> 00:03:38,585
I will body roll
your tiny Michael Jackson
92
00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:40,412
"Smooth Criminal"-looking ass
out a window!
93
00:03:40,413 --> 00:03:41,550
Damn it, man.
94
00:03:41,551 --> 00:03:43,171
Mm, mm, mm.
- Ow!
95
00:03:43,172 --> 00:03:45,378
Calm your behinds down with
all that roughhousing in here!
96
00:03:45,379 --> 00:03:47,792
Marisol's here.
97
00:03:47,793 --> 00:03:51,171
Finally, a night away
from all your nonsense.
98
00:03:51,172 --> 00:03:54,343
Kevin, baby, be careful
walking to Rhe Rhe's house.
99
00:03:54,344 --> 00:03:56,447
Hold Robert's hand all the way.
100
00:03:56,448 --> 00:03:58,585
- Oh, Mom. Come on, no.
- Oh, Mom. Come on, Mom.
101
00:03:58,586 --> 00:04:00,654
I can walk on my own, Mom.
102
00:04:00,655 --> 00:04:02,481
OK? Rhe Rhe's house is just
at the end of the block.
103
00:04:02,482 --> 00:04:04,378
The world is dangerous!
104
00:04:04,379 --> 00:04:07,826
I saw a news story about a boy
who was killed in his bathtub
105
00:04:07,827 --> 00:04:10,412
when a piece of Skylab
fell on his head.
106
00:04:10,413 --> 00:04:13,205
Ma,
I'm not holding Kev's hand.
107
00:04:13,206 --> 00:04:14,826
The ladies gonna think we gay.
108
00:04:14,827 --> 00:04:16,447
They'll think
you're brothers.
109
00:04:16,448 --> 00:04:18,205
Yeah, gay brothers.
110
00:04:18,206 --> 00:04:19,861
If y'all was gay,
111
00:04:19,862 --> 00:04:23,619
my gaydar would have alerted me
to that mess a long time ago.
112
00:04:23,620 --> 00:04:25,378
I knew Elton John
had a broken wrist
113
00:04:25,379 --> 00:04:27,412
way before anybody else knew.
114
00:04:27,413 --> 00:04:29,274
Did you know that song
"Tiny Dancer"
115
00:04:29,275 --> 00:04:32,102
was a metaphor
for loving tiny dicks?
116
00:04:32,103 --> 00:04:33,688
Girl, it's happening!
117
00:04:33,689 --> 00:04:35,378
We're gonna have so much fun
tonight.
118
00:04:35,379 --> 00:04:37,378
Philadelphia, look out!
119
00:04:37,379 --> 00:04:42,033
Two hot ladies are about
to get their poetry on!
120
00:04:42,034 --> 00:04:44,447
Poetry? Now, you know
that's gay as hell, right?
121
00:04:44,448 --> 00:04:46,516
Actually, it's not
called poetry anymore.
122
00:04:46,517 --> 00:04:48,757
It's espoken word.
123
00:04:48,758 --> 00:04:51,205
I'm reading my first-ever
piece tonight.
124
00:04:51,206 --> 00:04:53,171
Oh, I'm a poet, too.
125
00:04:53,172 --> 00:04:57,205
Uh, Rhe Rhe,
I want you to be, be
126
00:04:57,206 --> 00:04:59,067
with me, me.
127
00:04:59,068 --> 00:05:01,378
You smell like pee-pee.
128
00:05:01,379 --> 00:05:03,723
You are brothers!
129
00:05:03,724 --> 00:05:05,171
Love each other,
130
00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:07,378
or I kill you!
131
00:05:07,379 --> 00:05:08,861
both: Ow!
132
00:05:08,862 --> 00:05:10,033
Remember tonight,
133
00:05:10,034 --> 00:05:12,378
no drugs, no drinks,
no freak dancing.
134
00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:16,205
I will give you a full-body
cavity search if I have to.
135
00:05:16,206 --> 00:05:17,964
Now, give Mama a kiss.
136
00:05:17,965 --> 00:05:19,379
both: Mwah.
137
00:05:22,275 --> 00:05:23,481
God!
138
00:05:23,482 --> 00:05:25,205
You best not
tag behind me tonight.
139
00:05:25,206 --> 00:05:27,516
And you best
shut the hell up!
140
00:05:27,517 --> 00:05:29,895
Cosby's about to tell Theo
how to be a good person.
141
00:05:31,310 --> 00:05:34,447
Now, who in the hell
is breaking into my TV time?
142
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:39,550
Uh, hey, little boy.
143
00:05:39,551 --> 00:05:42,619
That's my son,
whose name I totally remember.
144
00:05:42,620 --> 00:05:44,171
Vroom! Vroom!
145
00:05:44,172 --> 00:05:45,550
Vroom-vroom!
146
00:05:45,551 --> 00:05:47,826
And little girl.
147
00:05:47,827 --> 00:05:50,102
And both baby mamas.
148
00:05:50,103 --> 00:05:53,585
What a totally
unplanned coincidence.
149
00:05:53,586 --> 00:05:55,481
This is no coincidence.
150
00:05:55,482 --> 00:05:59,895
We are tired of taking care of
your children all by ourselves.
151
00:05:59,896 --> 00:06:03,619
Tonight, we got plans
to go see Bobby Brown.
152
00:06:03,620 --> 00:06:05,171
You need to watch them.
153
00:06:05,172 --> 00:06:06,999
Much as I...
154
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:11,171
Would love to be with my kids,
I--I can't.
155
00:06:11,172 --> 00:06:14,654
Um, I have post-prison outreach
that I have to do.
156
00:06:14,655 --> 00:06:17,516
Uh, I'm a--I'm a counselor.
Yeah.
157
00:06:19,344 --> 00:06:20,585
Counselor?
158
00:06:20,586 --> 00:06:24,102
Nut-ass nigga,
you need counseling!
159
00:06:24,103 --> 00:06:26,516
You watch your kids.
160
00:06:26,517 --> 00:06:30,412
According to Maury Povich,
you are the father.
161
00:06:30,413 --> 00:06:32,585
Ha, ha!
Get it, get it.
162
00:06:32,586 --> 00:06:36,550
They're right.
I amtheir father.
163
00:06:37,724 --> 00:06:39,447
I need you
to watch your cousins.
164
00:06:39,448 --> 00:06:41,205
No!
No, Unc.
165
00:06:41,206 --> 00:06:42,964
I gotta go to the party
of the year tonight.
166
00:06:42,965 --> 00:06:44,619
You gotta let Robert
watch the kids.
167
00:06:44,620 --> 00:06:46,171
I mean, he's 16.
I'm 12!
168
00:06:47,551 --> 00:06:49,792
Sorry, little shit.
I'm out and you lose.
169
00:06:49,793 --> 00:06:51,274
Damn!
170
00:06:51,275 --> 00:06:52,964
Unc, no, please, please,
ask me to do anything but this.
171
00:06:52,965 --> 00:06:54,550
Sorry, little man.
Got shit to do.
172
00:06:54,551 --> 00:06:56,999
Say it with your chest!
173
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,378
Damn!
174
00:06:58,379 --> 00:07:00,309
Ooh, let's play
"Boyz n the Hood."
175
00:07:00,310 --> 00:07:01,792
I get to be Doughboy.
176
00:07:01,793 --> 00:07:03,826
You're always Doughboy.
177
00:07:03,827 --> 00:07:07,516
I wanna kill a nigga to avenge
my brother's death, too.
178
00:07:07,517 --> 00:07:08,930
This is crap.
179
00:07:08,931 --> 00:07:10,895
It's meant for me
to go to that party.
180
00:07:10,896 --> 00:07:13,895
And get my freak on and then
fall in love with my soulmate.
181
00:07:13,896 --> 00:07:15,481
You're getting
in the way of true love.
182
00:07:15,482 --> 00:07:17,826
Break yourself, fool!
183
00:07:17,827 --> 00:07:19,792
He got you, Kev!
184
00:07:19,793 --> 00:07:21,136
You dead!
185
00:07:21,137 --> 00:07:22,378
I might as well be dead.
186
00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:28,240
Coals on the grill.
187
00:07:28,241 --> 00:07:31,102
Lighter fluid I spill.
188
00:07:31,103 --> 00:07:33,240
You are my thrill.
189
00:07:33,241 --> 00:07:34,516
Side of pickles.
190
00:07:34,517 --> 00:07:36,171
How about dill?
191
00:07:36,172 --> 00:07:38,205
Peace in the Middle East.
192
00:07:41,172 --> 00:07:43,964
Is it just me, or is this
poem making you hungry?
193
00:07:43,965 --> 00:07:45,619
Girl, I can't do
jokes right now.
194
00:07:45,620 --> 00:07:47,136
I'm too nervous about my piece.
195
00:07:47,137 --> 00:07:50,033
Oh, you'll be great.
You got this, girl.
196
00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:51,688
You know,
you are a good friend.
197
00:07:51,689 --> 00:07:54,171
Hell, you are my inspiration.
198
00:07:54,172 --> 00:07:55,481
All right.
199
00:07:55,482 --> 00:07:57,792
Coming to the stage
to speak her truth,
200
00:07:57,793 --> 00:08:01,171
give your love
for Marisol Resendez.
201
00:08:01,172 --> 00:08:03,274
Yeah!
Whoo!
202
00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:05,343
You go, girl!
You go!
203
00:08:06,655 --> 00:08:07,792
Oops, I--I mean--
204
00:08:07,793 --> 00:08:10,378
Whoo.
You go, girl.
205
00:08:14,448 --> 00:08:17,516
Who I am not.
206
00:08:17,517 --> 00:08:21,102
I am woman,
and I control my life.
207
00:08:21,103 --> 00:08:25,619
I own my future
and embrace the strife.
208
00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:27,723
I will never be a wife
209
00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:31,585
or hovering mother
with two kids to smother
210
00:08:31,586 --> 00:08:34,757
and a freeloading
ex-con brother.
211
00:08:34,758 --> 00:08:39,895
I will never be
a sad single mom, ER nurse
212
00:08:39,896 --> 00:08:43,757
cursed with the worst kind
of got-no-life thirst.
213
00:08:48,482 --> 00:08:50,757
Where the fuck you put the
goddamn crêpe pan, bitch?
214
00:08:50,758 --> 00:08:53,481
In the fucking box
labeled kitchen stuff, bitch,
215
00:08:53,482 --> 00:08:56,826
parentheses miscellaneous, bitch.
216
00:08:56,827 --> 00:09:00,067
Yo, yo, yo.
Cell block A represent!
217
00:09:00,068 --> 00:09:03,102
I know that's not
motherfucking Richard!
218
00:09:03,103 --> 00:09:04,447
In the chest.
219
00:09:04,448 --> 00:09:06,136
The fuck you doing here?
220
00:09:06,137 --> 00:09:08,861
I'm here to help you guys
move in like you asked me.
221
00:09:08,862 --> 00:09:10,412
You said you was too busy
to come help.
222
00:09:10,413 --> 00:09:12,136
No, you're like family.
223
00:09:12,137 --> 00:09:15,688
Yeah,
like motherfucking family.
224
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:17,757
Man, I'm so happy you guys
225
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,861
are rooming together
on the outside.
226
00:09:19,862 --> 00:09:22,447
You all were always
best of buddies in the joint.
227
00:09:22,448 --> 00:09:24,205
We couldn't pry you apart.
228
00:09:24,206 --> 00:09:27,171
Always finishing
each other's showers.
229
00:09:27,172 --> 00:09:28,861
Just the two inseparable,
230
00:09:28,862 --> 00:09:32,861
straight pussy hounds
I've always known and loved.
231
00:09:32,862 --> 00:09:35,240
Nothing gets by you,
Einstein.
232
00:09:37,137 --> 00:09:39,067
Move out the way!
233
00:09:39,068 --> 00:09:40,619
Out the way unless
you wanna get shot up!
234
00:09:40,620 --> 00:09:41,826
I need to calm
these kids down.
235
00:09:41,827 --> 00:09:43,447
Move! Move it, baby!
Move it!
236
00:09:45,275 --> 00:09:47,481
♪ The wheels on the
bus go round and round ♪
237
00:09:49,034 --> 00:09:50,481
♪ Round and round,
round and round ♪
238
00:09:50,482 --> 00:09:52,792
That's some baby shit.
239
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,447
So you're too old
for kid songs?
240
00:09:54,448 --> 00:09:55,826
I'm this many.
241
00:09:55,827 --> 00:09:58,447
That means I'm six
and fuck you!
242
00:09:58,448 --> 00:09:59,654
OK, now, hold on.
243
00:09:59,655 --> 00:10:00,861
Do your mamas let
y'all talk like this?
244
00:10:00,862 --> 00:10:02,964
Only when quoting a movie,
a song,
245
00:10:02,965 --> 00:10:05,274
or disgraced mayor
Marion Barry.
246
00:10:06,551 --> 00:10:08,309
The bitch set me up!
247
00:10:12,206 --> 00:10:15,205
How does it feel
to be paroled, fellas?
248
00:10:15,206 --> 00:10:17,033
Fucking good, my man!
249
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:20,585
We are so glad to finally
be out of that hellhole.
250
00:10:22,586 --> 00:10:23,930
Yeah, yeah, y'all--
251
00:10:23,931 --> 00:10:26,205
y'all--y'all living large
and in charge.
252
00:10:26,206 --> 00:10:27,792
You fucking-A right.
253
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:30,067
Now, help me move the toilet
into the bedroom.
254
00:10:30,068 --> 00:10:33,723
No way will my world
be so small
255
00:10:33,724 --> 00:10:35,688
that my kids are my all
256
00:10:35,689 --> 00:10:38,378
and I clutch them
with such ferocity,
257
00:10:38,379 --> 00:10:43,171
impossibly sad to mourn
a life I never, ever had.
258
00:10:43,172 --> 00:10:46,654
OK, calm down, Nancy.
This probably isn't about you.
259
00:10:46,655 --> 00:10:51,481
Never do I pause to ponder
the cost of marrying a druggie
260
00:10:51,482 --> 00:10:54,516
with flaws and no draws.
261
00:10:54,517 --> 00:10:58,205
That is who I am not!
262
00:10:58,206 --> 00:10:59,412
Thank you.
263
00:11:01,689 --> 00:11:03,619
So did you like it?
264
00:11:06,862 --> 00:11:09,309
Say hello
to my little friend!
265
00:11:13,482 --> 00:11:15,447
Lord, take me, please.
266
00:11:17,413 --> 00:11:19,999
Mom, you gotta come home.
I'm stuck with these kids.
267
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:23,067
Kev! What in the hell are
you talking about?
268
00:11:23,068 --> 00:11:24,102
Gerald?
269
00:11:24,103 --> 00:11:26,412
Go, Robert!
Go, Robert!
270
00:11:26,413 --> 00:11:28,619
Kev, this party is the jawn.
271
00:11:28,620 --> 00:11:31,481
The dude watching the door got
bit by Chin Check's pit bull,
272
00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:33,412
so now anybody can come in!
273
00:11:33,413 --> 00:11:34,481
For real?
274
00:11:34,482 --> 00:11:36,378
Everybody's here.
275
00:11:36,379 --> 00:11:37,619
Ooh, I gotta go.
276
00:11:37,620 --> 00:11:38,688
We about to play...
277
00:11:38,689 --> 00:11:40,033
♪ Hide-and-go-get-it ♪
278
00:11:40,034 --> 00:11:41,757
♪ And I'm about
to try and go get it ♪
279
00:11:41,758 --> 00:11:43,550
Did Rhe Rhe ask about me?
280
00:11:43,551 --> 00:11:44,930
Give me that!
281
00:11:44,931 --> 00:11:46,171
God!
282
00:11:46,172 --> 00:11:48,274
I gotta get to that party.
283
00:11:51,620 --> 00:11:53,136
Hello, Smitty's?
284
00:11:53,137 --> 00:11:55,447
Is Henry Hart there?
This is an emergency.
285
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:59,447
Young man, Henry is
indisposed at the moment.
286
00:11:59,448 --> 00:12:01,481
You owe me $5.
287
00:12:01,482 --> 00:12:03,447
Pay up or I'm gonna
run your ass over.
288
00:12:03,448 --> 00:12:05,550
Not if your emphysema
gets you first!
289
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:08,895
Enough of this nonsense.
290
00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:11,274
How would you two
like to go to a party?
291
00:12:11,275 --> 00:12:12,619
♪ You know what it is ♪
292
00:12:12,620 --> 00:12:14,102
♪ Point 'em out ♪
293
00:12:14,103 --> 00:12:15,136
♪ If you see a real player,
point 'em out ♪
294
00:12:15,137 --> 00:12:16,654
♪ Point 'em out ♪
295
00:12:16,655 --> 00:12:18,171
♪ We'll see 'em right there ♪
296
00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:19,550
♪ Point 'em out,
if you see a snitch ♪
297
00:12:19,551 --> 00:12:21,171
♪ Then point 'em out,
point 'em out ♪
298
00:12:21,172 --> 00:12:24,102
♪ We'll see 'em right there,
point 'em out ♪
299
00:12:24,103 --> 00:12:25,826
♪ If you see a hater,
then point 'em out ♪
300
00:12:25,827 --> 00:12:27,033
♪ Yeah, point 'em out ♪
301
00:12:27,034 --> 00:12:28,585
♪ Yeah,
I see 'em right there ♪
302
00:12:28,586 --> 00:12:30,136
♪ Point it out ♪
303
00:12:30,137 --> 00:12:31,654
♪ If you see a bad [...],
point 'em out ♪
304
00:12:31,655 --> 00:12:32,792
♪ Yeah, point 'em out ♪
305
00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:34,378
♪ We'll see you right there ♪
306
00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:36,861
♪ We see you, you can't hide ♪
307
00:12:38,344 --> 00:12:40,102
Oh, yes.
308
00:12:40,103 --> 00:12:44,378
There are three
suspicious-looking adults.
309
00:12:44,379 --> 00:12:46,102
Oh, please hurry!
310
00:12:46,103 --> 00:12:48,861
They're Black!
311
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:53,516
Well, shit.
312
00:12:53,517 --> 00:12:54,792
Look at the time.
313
00:12:54,793 --> 00:12:56,792
9 o'motherfucking clock.
314
00:12:56,793 --> 00:12:59,378
That's lights out
around this bitch.
315
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:00,895
Yeah, sure.
316
00:13:00,896 --> 00:13:02,757
I'll just go home
317
00:13:02,758 --> 00:13:04,033
and--oh, look!
318
00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:06,688
Our old prison yearbook!
319
00:13:06,689 --> 00:13:08,619
Look at us.
320
00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:11,481
Young, dumb, and full of come.
321
00:13:13,551 --> 00:13:16,516
Now, remember, tonight,
you two are teens.
322
00:13:16,517 --> 00:13:17,895
So just be cool, OK?
323
00:13:17,896 --> 00:13:19,688
We're gonna chill
on the cool tip.
324
00:13:19,689 --> 00:13:21,550
We cool.
325
00:13:25,620 --> 00:13:28,240
Yo, excuse me.
326
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:30,102
Oh, yeah!
- Uh, uh, uh, uh, ah!
327
00:13:30,103 --> 00:13:31,895
- Whoo! Here we go!
- Ooh, uh.
328
00:13:33,620 --> 00:13:35,033
Don't follow me around.
329
00:13:35,034 --> 00:13:37,585
And if anybody asks,
I don't know you.
330
00:13:37,586 --> 00:13:39,930
Yeah, no, it's nice
to see you, too, bro.
331
00:13:39,931 --> 00:13:42,274
Little Kev is in the house.
332
00:13:42,275 --> 00:13:43,895
Did you like the way
I rhymed smother
333
00:13:43,896 --> 00:13:45,619
with ex-con brother?
334
00:13:45,620 --> 00:13:47,654
It was all--all right.
335
00:13:47,655 --> 00:13:50,481
I tried to capture the spirit
of a sad woman
336
00:13:50,482 --> 00:13:53,447
trapped in her life who takes
out her failure on her kids.
337
00:13:53,448 --> 00:13:55,171
Oh, you captured it.
338
00:13:55,172 --> 00:13:57,964
And that brings our open mic
portion to an end.
339
00:13:57,965 --> 00:13:59,826
Please remember
to tip your waiter.
340
00:13:59,827 --> 00:14:02,033
I got some spoken words
I wanna speak.
341
00:14:02,034 --> 00:14:03,447
Like I said, lady,
we're all done--
342
00:14:03,448 --> 00:14:06,171
False friends
with ugly rhymes,
343
00:14:06,172 --> 00:14:08,723
our times are at an end.
344
00:14:08,724 --> 00:14:10,274
You pretend to care,
345
00:14:10,275 --> 00:14:12,861
but you fake as the highlights
in your hair.
346
00:14:12,862 --> 00:14:15,343
I ride my kids, that's true.
347
00:14:15,344 --> 00:14:19,619
But at least I got people who
love me, unlike you, boo!
348
00:14:19,620 --> 00:14:21,930
Now, what the hell were
you saying about me?
349
00:14:21,931 --> 00:14:24,550
Just speaking my truth.
350
00:14:24,551 --> 00:14:25,964
Is that right?
351
00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:28,205
Haughty, non-sporty queen,
352
00:14:28,206 --> 00:14:31,999
bitch hogging the break room
refrigerator machine.
353
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:35,240
Marisol, more like Barbasol,
354
00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:37,723
'cause if you ever
trim the hair on your lip,
355
00:14:37,724 --> 00:14:40,205
you're gonna need a U-Haul.
356
00:14:40,206 --> 00:14:42,033
- I'd like to report a murder.
- Yeah!
357
00:14:42,034 --> 00:14:45,516
Mm! Mm!
Oh, yeah.
358
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:49,447
All right.
This is my moment.
359
00:14:49,448 --> 00:14:52,481
Hey, Kevin, uh,
can I ask you something?
360
00:14:52,482 --> 00:14:54,447
Oh, yeah. No, yeah.
Sure, girl.
361
00:14:54,448 --> 00:14:55,619
What you wanna know?
362
00:14:55,620 --> 00:14:57,102
Do you think...
363
00:14:57,103 --> 00:14:59,240
this is a daycare?
364
00:14:59,241 --> 00:15:02,516
Why did you roll up in here
with two little kids?
365
00:15:02,517 --> 00:15:04,723
Oh! Oh!
Oh!
366
00:15:04,724 --> 00:15:06,481
Who you talking about, them?
367
00:15:06,482 --> 00:15:08,654
I ain't never seen them
two weird adults in my life.
368
00:15:08,655 --> 00:15:11,723
Yo, Cousin Kev,
can you open this 40 for me?
369
00:15:11,724 --> 00:15:13,964
You know how I have trouble
with the bottle tops.
370
00:15:13,965 --> 00:15:16,447
OK, well, can you just
let us stay, please?
371
00:15:16,448 --> 00:15:19,136
Look, I just didn't
wanna miss your party.
372
00:15:19,137 --> 00:15:20,412
The little ones can stay.
373
00:15:20,413 --> 00:15:22,757
But, Kev, yo' dumb ass
gots to go.
374
00:15:22,758 --> 00:15:25,516
But, Rhe Rhe, I made that
bangin' slow jam tape for you.
375
00:15:25,517 --> 00:15:30,240
Well, it better be smooth.
376
00:15:30,241 --> 00:15:31,550
What do you mean?
It's the smoothest.
377
00:15:31,551 --> 00:15:34,619
It's smoother than
Babyface's, uh, face.
378
00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:36,378
Uh, listen.
379
00:15:36,379 --> 00:15:38,792
♪ The wheels on the bus
go round and round ♪
380
00:15:38,793 --> 00:15:39,999
♪ Round and round,
round and round ♪
381
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,516
No, no, no!
382
00:15:41,517 --> 00:15:43,723
I love this song!
383
00:15:43,724 --> 00:15:44,964
♪ Round and round ♪
384
00:15:44,965 --> 00:15:46,205
He brought these kids
to the party
385
00:15:46,206 --> 00:15:48,343
so he wouldn't
be the shortest one here.
386
00:15:53,793 --> 00:15:58,067
Hey, that's my little brother
Kevin you laughing at.
387
00:15:58,068 --> 00:15:59,585
I didn't tell you to stop.
388
00:15:59,586 --> 00:16:01,205
Just wanted to let you know
what his name is.
389
00:16:01,206 --> 00:16:02,619
Where were we?
390
00:16:02,620 --> 00:16:07,378
all: Kevin, Kevin,
Kevin, Kevin!
391
00:16:09,379 --> 00:16:11,930
Joke's on them.
I didn't stab a guard.
392
00:16:11,931 --> 00:16:13,654
But you did
stab the librarian.
393
00:16:13,655 --> 00:16:17,723
Yeah,
that was a good Thanksgiving.
394
00:16:17,724 --> 00:16:19,861
Richard,
thank you for all the help.
395
00:16:19,862 --> 00:16:23,999
Our closet has never
been so put together.
396
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,447
But it's time
for you to kick rocks.
397
00:16:25,448 --> 00:16:27,550
Plus, we're all out of wine.
398
00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:29,723
We can't make our own until
we get the toilet hooked up.
399
00:16:29,724 --> 00:16:32,309
That ain't never
stopped us before.
400
00:16:32,310 --> 00:16:33,930
I say we do like the old days.
401
00:16:33,931 --> 00:16:35,516
We go hit up a liquor store
402
00:16:35,517 --> 00:16:37,136
and come out with some drink
and some cash.
403
00:16:37,137 --> 00:16:39,723
Richard, what the fuck
is wrong with you?
404
00:16:39,724 --> 00:16:40,999
You wanna go back to jail?
405
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,826
No, no.
406
00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:45,136
Well, maybe.
407
00:16:45,137 --> 00:16:47,240
Don't you?
408
00:16:47,241 --> 00:16:49,378
I know it look like
I got it all together,
409
00:16:49,379 --> 00:16:52,240
but it's a struggle, fellas.
410
00:16:52,241 --> 00:16:54,240
It's OK, Richie.
411
00:16:54,241 --> 00:16:56,274
It's not easy getting used
to living on the outside
412
00:16:56,275 --> 00:16:59,067
after being locked the fuck up
for so long.
413
00:16:59,068 --> 00:17:01,205
The world has fucking changed.
414
00:17:01,206 --> 00:17:03,412
Nobody's waiting for you
to give a fuck about them
415
00:17:03,413 --> 00:17:05,309
or for you
to give a fuck about.
416
00:17:05,310 --> 00:17:08,205
Well, I do have my sister.
417
00:17:08,206 --> 00:17:10,861
And her two kids
and my two kids.
418
00:17:10,862 --> 00:17:12,172
both: You got what?
419
00:17:14,344 --> 00:17:16,792
This was my big chance
to be with my future wife.
420
00:17:16,793 --> 00:17:18,343
I made a killer slow jam tape,
421
00:17:18,344 --> 00:17:21,136
I made a cool vest from my
sixth grade graduation blazer.
422
00:17:21,137 --> 00:17:24,205
And for what?
For you kids to just ruin it?
423
00:17:24,206 --> 00:17:27,723
So I bet
you're gonna leave us now.
424
00:17:27,724 --> 00:17:29,654
What do you mean, leave you?
I'm not gonna do that.
425
00:17:29,655 --> 00:17:31,309
Why would you say something
like that?
426
00:17:31,310 --> 00:17:33,516
It's OK.
We used to it.
427
00:17:33,517 --> 00:17:36,136
That's what our moms do.
And Daddy.
428
00:17:36,137 --> 00:17:38,067
They all just leave us
with somebody else.
429
00:17:38,068 --> 00:17:39,826
They don't really
think about us.
430
00:17:39,827 --> 00:17:40,930
Oh, come on.
431
00:17:40,931 --> 00:17:42,240
Now, that's not true.
432
00:17:42,241 --> 00:17:44,861
Our daddy doesn't
even know our names.
433
00:17:44,862 --> 00:17:46,654
We'll be fine.
434
00:17:46,655 --> 00:17:49,378
Leave us with somebody else
and go to your party.
435
00:17:49,379 --> 00:17:51,309
Everybody else does.
436
00:17:51,310 --> 00:17:53,619
You know what?
Forget that.
437
00:17:54,551 --> 00:17:56,826
Emergency party.
Go crazy.
438
00:17:56,827 --> 00:17:59,274
But wait, wait.
Don't--not too crazy.
439
00:18:06,793 --> 00:18:09,516
Oh, so cute.
440
00:18:09,517 --> 00:18:13,448
Turn your pockets out so I
can see if you stole anything!
441
00:18:14,103 --> 00:18:16,136
Oh, man.
442
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:17,895
I'm not doing great.
443
00:18:17,896 --> 00:18:20,999
I mean, sure,
I'm the ultimate badass
444
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,688
and I say it with my chest,
445
00:18:23,689 --> 00:18:26,240
but my chest
is saying something to me.
446
00:18:26,241 --> 00:18:28,964
I'm afraid of messing up
my two kids,
447
00:18:28,965 --> 00:18:30,861
have 'em turn out like me.
448
00:18:30,862 --> 00:18:33,723
I avoid 'em.
449
00:18:35,137 --> 00:18:37,895
I just want to be absent
so they can be successful,
450
00:18:37,896 --> 00:18:39,378
like a--
451
00:18:39,379 --> 00:18:41,895
like a Malcolm X
or a James Brown.
452
00:18:41,896 --> 00:18:43,930
Oh, you could be
a great fucking father.
453
00:18:43,931 --> 00:18:45,999
Like Joe fucking Jackson.
454
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,412
Now, that was a fucking father.
455
00:18:48,413 --> 00:18:51,412
If he didn't beat Michael,
there would be no "Beat It."
456
00:18:52,931 --> 00:18:54,516
Take a look at this yearbook.
457
00:18:54,517 --> 00:18:57,309
Remember your bitch ass
got voted most loyal?
458
00:18:57,310 --> 00:18:59,378
And why did we vote you that?
459
00:18:59,379 --> 00:19:03,205
'Cause I stuffed that snitch
in that cement mixer?
460
00:19:03,206 --> 00:19:04,757
Fuck yeah, you did.
461
00:19:04,758 --> 00:19:07,723
But now you gotta put
your fears in that mixer.
462
00:19:07,724 --> 00:19:10,102
And when you
turn that machine on,
463
00:19:10,103 --> 00:19:12,619
all the love you
have for your kids
464
00:19:12,620 --> 00:19:14,896
will come
running out the bottom.
465
00:19:17,413 --> 00:19:18,757
How could you do that to me?
466
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:21,102
Attack me in front of a room
full of hipsters?
467
00:19:21,103 --> 00:19:24,861
You dragged me here and made
me buy some funky-ass coffee
468
00:19:24,862 --> 00:19:27,136
just so you could read
a diss poem about me.
469
00:19:27,137 --> 00:19:28,378
You?
470
00:19:28,379 --> 00:19:30,378
You thought that poem
was about you?
471
00:19:30,379 --> 00:19:34,136
"Got no life, world so small,
kids are my all."
472
00:19:34,137 --> 00:19:36,033
Who else could that be about?
473
00:19:36,034 --> 00:19:37,826
Mymother.
474
00:19:37,827 --> 00:19:39,274
Yourmother?
475
00:19:39,275 --> 00:19:40,723
Yeah.
476
00:19:40,724 --> 00:19:42,757
Never letting me do nothing,
always riding my ass,
477
00:19:42,758 --> 00:19:44,102
treat me like a baby.
478
00:19:44,103 --> 00:19:45,136
Oh, my God.
479
00:19:45,137 --> 00:19:48,240
I--I am so sorry.
480
00:19:48,241 --> 00:19:50,136
I thought--
- It was about you?
481
00:19:50,137 --> 00:19:53,274
But that's not how you are
with your boys, is it?
482
00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:54,964
Uh...
483
00:19:54,965 --> 00:19:56,723
maybe?
484
00:19:56,724 --> 00:19:58,619
A little bit.
485
00:19:58,620 --> 00:20:00,136
Ay, girl.
486
00:20:00,137 --> 00:20:02,895
I would never rip you
a new asshole.
487
00:20:02,896 --> 00:20:04,309
In public.
488
00:20:04,310 --> 00:20:05,792
Now, that was for my mother,
489
00:20:05,793 --> 00:20:08,067
and it feels good
to get that trauma out.
490
00:20:08,068 --> 00:20:09,688
I bet.
491
00:20:09,689 --> 00:20:12,102
How does your mother feel
about your poems?
492
00:20:12,103 --> 00:20:13,447
How should I know?
493
00:20:13,448 --> 00:20:15,550
I haven't seen that bitch
in years.
494
00:20:15,551 --> 00:20:19,481
I tore out of her house
the minute I turned 18.
495
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:24,343
Pop it, lock it, shake it!
Don't break it!
496
00:20:24,344 --> 00:20:26,171
Oh, go, Jamarcus!
497
00:20:26,172 --> 00:20:27,964
Oh, go, Jamarcus!
498
00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:30,551
That's my brother right there!
499
00:20:31,827 --> 00:20:33,171
both: Daddy!
500
00:20:33,172 --> 00:20:36,274
Hey, Jamarcus.
Hey, Lauryn.
501
00:20:36,275 --> 00:20:38,619
You doknow our names!
502
00:20:38,620 --> 00:20:40,619
Of course I do.
503
00:20:40,620 --> 00:20:43,171
Kev, thanks so much
for stepping up
504
00:20:43,172 --> 00:20:45,136
and taking care of little boy.
505
00:20:45,137 --> 00:20:48,688
Uh, I mean Jamarcus and Lauryn.
506
00:20:48,689 --> 00:20:50,585
You get out of here
and go hit that party.
507
00:20:50,586 --> 00:20:51,964
Nah.
508
00:20:51,965 --> 00:20:53,757
I'm having more fun
with my little cousins.
509
00:20:53,758 --> 00:20:55,309
What the hell
is wrong with you?
510
00:20:55,310 --> 00:20:57,309
Go be with people your own age,
little bitch!
511
00:20:57,310 --> 00:20:59,999
Yeah, there are some honeys
at that spot!
512
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:03,723
And they got more ass
than Mobil got gas.
513
00:21:03,724 --> 00:21:05,309
But they all laughed at me.
514
00:21:05,310 --> 00:21:07,205
Man, fuck them kids!
515
00:21:07,206 --> 00:21:10,067
You're Lil Kev!
And you're the shit!
516
00:21:10,068 --> 00:21:13,378
Now, go back to Rhe Rhe's
and say it with your chest!
517
00:21:13,379 --> 00:21:17,343
That's my girl.
518
00:21:17,344 --> 00:21:19,619
I'm Audi 5,000!
519
00:21:21,137 --> 00:21:23,309
Lil Kev is coming
with the jams.
520
00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:25,240
Oh!
- Kevin?
521
00:21:25,241 --> 00:21:26,585
Hey--hey, Mom.
522
00:21:26,586 --> 00:21:28,688
Uh, I was just checking
the parking meters.
523
00:21:28,689 --> 00:21:30,274
Checking to see
if they were still here.
524
00:21:30,275 --> 00:21:32,378
And then, I was going
right back inside
525
00:21:32,379 --> 00:21:33,826
and I was going to bed
526
00:21:33,827 --> 00:21:35,826
because it's very late
and the world is dangerous.
527
00:21:35,827 --> 00:21:38,309
You go to that party.
It's fine.
528
00:21:38,310 --> 00:21:39,826
Really?
529
00:21:39,827 --> 00:21:42,999
You know it's 100 feet
down the block, right?
530
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,274
I know.
531
00:21:44,275 --> 00:21:46,688
Go on.
Have fun.
532
00:21:46,689 --> 00:21:48,585
OK, thanks!
533
00:21:48,586 --> 00:21:50,964
I choose not
to question this, Mom!
534
00:21:56,206 --> 00:21:58,585
Our little boy is growing up.
535
00:21:58,586 --> 00:22:00,550
Get your stinkin' hands
off of me!
536
00:22:00,551 --> 00:22:03,309
Whoa!
37867
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