Original subtitles

Mmm, no...

Why?

We have an appointment.

We have a really important appointment at 2:00,

but you wanted to come here?

Hal?

Hal? Susie!

Dr. Thibideau has the test results,

these results will determine if treatment is an option,

so why are we sitting here?

Why-- why-- I want to get up-- why-- it seems like all I do is---

all I ever do is explain myself to you!

Thirty-two years-- three-- thirty-three years...

My lover...

My best friend...

My sweetheart...

My name is hal.

I like chocolate-chip pancakes.

I can't get enough of Billie holliday.

I have... managed to find a spot on the street

to park my buick for the last...

Twenty-seven years

yes, 27 years-- that was yesterday,

today, I'm a goddamn oncological case study

for the folks in little white coats at St. Vincent's!

I'm tired.

It's okay. Not today.

Honey... I just...

Honey? Not... today.

Hey!

Sorry it took so long.

They have a blower in there.

No, no, please-- I know.

I'm, uh-- I'm alone more than you know,

nobody keeps better company than me!

Oh, my god, are you--

let me help you, sir-- you all right?

No, no, never better.

Yeah, that's what my grandfather used to say,

"never better!"

Better never do that again.

Just be yourself.

I give you tea...

But no sympathy.

Okay...

King cliche,

how 'bout this?

There's many a slip,

'twixt the cup and the lip,

and you, mate,

are without your bitch for the rest of this match.

You were so certain you were going to win, yes?

Yes...

No...

Sh...

I haven't lived a good life.

I've been bad...

Worse than you could know.

Well that's good,

because if you actually were as innocent

as you pretend to be, we'd never get anywhere.

Well?

Please-- that's easy as speakeasy,

"the Maltese falcon,"

hammet and huston-- the hardest of the hard-boiled.

What can I get you to drink?

Oh, yeah, uh... Root beer float?

Okay, um... A root beer float.

What-- i-is that-- is that okay?

I mean, you're laughing-- you guys have floats right?

No, yes-- no, we do-- we have floats

it's just cute to hear you order a float for brunch.

Uh, oh, okay, okay...

So, uhh, vanilla ice cream,

uh, two scoops if you can.

Okay, two scoops if I can.

What about you?

Um, actually, I think a root beer float sounds great. Okay.

But just one scoop, please. Okay.

All right, so, how bout I bring you one-- they're big...

With two straws?

Yeah, that's fine-- yeah, yeah-- yeah, yeah.

Ugh, no-- no, no...

That wouldn't be good-- I think that I'd like my own.

Okay... Oh, really?

'Cause, I'm just a germ guy and all.

What-- you're a germ guy?

Not so much germs, like viruses...

Okay, so--

ya know...

I was walking to the beauty salon the other day,

mmm. And something felt different.

It was so quiet, honey.

I had on my brand new heels.

They're a little warn down now,

but when they were new,

darling, they made such a loud click--

no, no, no, no, no...

We're not going to do this today-

do what? Ya know, susie, some would say that this condition I have--

this cancer is a rainy day at best,

and I would agree-- it's pouring over here.

Okay. Cats and dogs-- thunder and lightning.

But let me tell ya,

the one brief spot of sunlight I get in all this,

is I get a relief from the chatter,

from the mundane.

If you wanna talk,

well, then for god sake, make it about something,

but don't just keep filling the air

to make yourself comfortable.

The food, the weather, the clicking of the heels,

I won't have it.

My clock is ticking,

so if you've got something to say,

let's just get down to it.

Fine, I'm sorry...

My bottom line really depends on it.

Yes, her bottom line, and my byline!

One cherry tea-- I'm sorry, Mr. Moon.

No, no-- can't hear you,

better yet, don't want to hear you, Betty.

I don't want to hear you either, Ollie.

I just want to hear this-- quiet! Shh!

Okay, you might want to try composing yourself

before you attempt music.

Oh, oh, god, I'm sorry!

I-I should have let you, you know,

aked what you might've wanted--

let you order first, Clara-

Clara.

Cla-clar-Clara

Clara.

It's fine-- don't worry about it.

Ooh, hi, Terrence, oh, hello, v!

"V" as in venomous. "V" as in vainglorious.

As in vexing. As in volt!

Ouch, good one.

I got a fresh pot almost up, k-k?

Mmm, I can smell-- sure, I'll have a pour.

And I'll have a spot more mint tea, v.

Spoonful of sugar?

Stirred in with a chimney sweep.

And a coffee-Carly- Simon for you, Terry?

Yup, with clouds-- you know me so, val.

So, is there just going to be one of you today, or?

No, unfortunately not, though I-I shouldn't say that.

That's just my own fear talking,

or-or my-my guilt, rather.

I don't know-- I don't know.

I don't know how to...

Handle these.

I'm sorry-- no, what am I a-apologizing for.

I haven't done anything wrong, have I?

Nice for you to ask for what I desired.

Oh, I'm so sorry, Lulu bell,

so very sorry.

And not from the root word "sorrow--" no, hardly.

"Sorry" as in... Sore,

as in "it pains me to have wronged you."

I don't like your manners.

Ooh, you're frisky today.

"Well, I'm not crazy about yours-- I didn't ask to see you.

I don't mind if you don't like my manners,

I don't like them myself-- they're pretty bad.

I grieve over them on long winter evenings.

And I don't mind your ritzing me,

or drinking your lunch out of a bottle.

But don't waste your time trying to cross-examine me."

Ah, "the big sleep--" hawks and Chandler,

bogart and bacall,

yeah, well, it's all just a big dream to me...

You should keep your eyes and ears on the game

in front of you, Donnie, instead of everyone else.

You might have seen that move comin'.

The game is bigger than the board, my friend.

Chess is a metaphor for life,

the answers are all around us.

Okay, so, a glass of Pinot comin' up.

A-A-And, um, perhaps I'll have a shot of bourbon,

that I'll-- that I'll just sip, not shoot,

so a rocks glass will do.

A bourbon?

Life is a game?

No, it's more of an experiment. Experiment?

No-- it's a test.

Yeah, a test-- test tubes, you and me.

Mmm, life, mere folly.

Yeah, folly?

It's a friggin' hoax-- now, move.

I suppose I'll need a small cake.

A cake? Right, but something modest, um,

strawberry shortcake, ladyfingers...

Something or other.

Right, so, you need a wine, and a bourbon,

and a strawberry shortcake.

This is a brunch fit for liberace.

I'll also need the cake to have candles, a-and not...

Not one, but... 18,

eighteen? Yes, 18.

Okay.

Ya know, I'll be the-- don't do this again, hal!

You know, I'll be the first to admit that

when doc tippytoes gave me the news--

Dr. Thibideau-- Dr. Thibideau! Doc tippytoes-- tippytoes!

Tippytoes! Thibideau !

As I was saying, Susan, when doc tippytoes

first gave me the news, I thought to myself,

"glioblastoma, what a lousy way to check out, ohh!"

But then... when he added the word "malignant,"

you should have seen me-- I stood up.

I shook that man's hand,

well, then, at least I had something malignant, huh?

Something to give it a bit more bite, more weight, right?

You are a gift for listening.

It's just, I mean--

I'm expecting some quite special company, today.

Real special girl...

Okay, well, I'd love to stay and play, but, you know,

I just got a four top, and I don't want my smile to crack,

so...

No problem.

I-It's just that, when I'm finished here...

I'll probably have a cigarette,

you allow smoking here, sweetie?

Shu-- "sweetie"?

Sure, yeah, okay,

so, you're going to have the Pinot, and the bourbon,

and the cake, and the cigarette,

and the girl on the way,

is there anything else I can get you?

How 'bout, just-- ohh, a pillow and a condom?

Nice jab-- you're quick-- I like that.

Is there anything else?

I mean, what about your ego-- what's that going to have?

Let's see...

Hello?

Ah, well, no-- I just--

i-i-i can't believe i-- I-I think I'm just--

I'm nervous.

What-- you didn't do anything wrong.

Um, d-do you see anything you like here?

I mean, because we could always go somewhere else.

Oh, no, this is great-- I think I'm all set.

What are you thinkin' of having?

Well, I don't know.

I was thinking, maybe, like a goat cheese salad, but...

Really-- that's what I'm getting.

So, you-you're going to get that, too, huh?

Well, you know what-- I'll get something else.

Oh, no, we can get the same.

Okay, okay...

So, that's kind of funny

that we're getting the same thing?

Yeah, it's funny.

So, how did you finally decide to do it?

Do what?

Well, Lulu-boohoo,

you're dressed up like the stroke of midnight,

I can only assume that you killed your character.

Oh, you know me so well, Terrence,

you wanna guess?

Well, considering it was Ursula dithers,

that hellcat protagonist of yours,

I imagine you light-bulbed her

to be deserved of only one kind of a demise,

a violent one...

Right, and the m.O.--

I haven't a clue of course, but a whirl I'll give.

Let's say smothered, naked, beneath a pale green sheet,

300 count, as she went from pink to pale,

a post-coital kill...

Nope, no...

No? No.

No-- well, it's beneath me to guess again...

Oh, you want me to tell you?

You "sorry" as in sore loser, you?

So, tell me,

what's the best-selling book of all time?

The Bible.

Yeah, I kind of gave that one away.

Yeah, too bad-- now, move.

- Six billion copies. - What?

The Bible has sold six billion copies.

Well, I'm sure it will sell a hell of a lot more, now, move.

Kind of unbelievable, isn't it?

Kind of hard to get your head around it.

I mean, six billion copies.

Like, what is that-- how much is that like?

It's kinda like thinking about six billion dollars.

Like, how much is that?

Don, why do you insist on injecting trivia

into our game?

Casper, chess is a battle of wits-- yeah, well, congratulations,

you know a very lot about the very little.

But I got it right.

The Bible-- six billion copies, so, touche.

Ursula wasn't bludgeoned, she was butchered...

Mmm, yes? By her husband...

It' getting dim,

with the same knife that she was going to filet

the in-season mahi-mahi that she had bought for her lover

for dinner that same Eve.

Oh, splendid.

I lack what made me so good.

Oh, Lulu, how I love you so.

How so?

So-so, I mean such an impassioned slaying,

yet elegant.

Oh, your mind-- how it works.

Well Terry, you can always tell one's conviction

by the thought that's behind it.

Behind what?

You know, all the big stuff.

You know, if you're going to kill someone,

you might as well make it creative, right?

Right.

Sorry to get so dark.

What I meant was,

say if you were...

I don't know, propose to someone,

well, if someone was to propose to me,

well, I couldn't just say "yes,"

no matter how I felt about the person,

unless he put some effort

into creating a really elaborate proposal,

and if he didn't,

I would have to question whether or not...

We were the right match,

and then I might say "no."

Right.

Well, our duel is not done yet my friend,

the Bible-- that was easy, but...

I have another little nugget.

What's the second best- selling book of all time?

Oh, no-- no, no, no, no-- not this time,

you are not going to distract me from this game.

You and your questions...

The Bible, I got it right-- so who cares

what the second best-selling book of all time is?

Well, winners are winners, but I'll tell you something,

runners-up have a much better story to tell.

"Oh, winners are winners..."

800 million copies--

Don, why don't you decide,

and pick a piece, and move it!

Okay, okay, Casper-- all right, relax. Just pick a piece!

I'll give you a clue...

Jocelyn?

Jocelyn, over here!

Jo... over here.

Hi!

So many better ways to die, though...

Operatic ways,

massive stroke, poisoning,

beheading...

Ways I deserve,

here, we go again. Or how 'bout this?

Something even more operatic,

something even more tarzanic,

tarzanic? Yes, you know, cardiac arrest.

Tarzan, okay, I get it-- I get it.

You and your words.

Yes, gems, each and everyone of them.

Just never...

Able to string 'em together in just the right order

for any publisher to pay attention.

To your memoir. To my memoir.

Memoir!

I must be so red-- I hate when I get red-- am I red?

No-- rosy.

I get like that, too, when i-- when I first...

Oh, yeah, him--

so spruce with the sweetest caboose,

he's at your table, though, Bette.

Go, go, go-- tweet, tweet!

"Tweet, tweet"?

When the enemy attacks, withdraw.

When they stop, harass.

When they tire, strike.

What the hell is that?

Mao. Mao?

Mao tse tung-- his book of quotations,

second best-selling book of all time.

Wow...

I'm not sure how that sits with me, Don...

Awe, you're in awe

so, can I get your friend, here, something, or...?

Oh, um, excuse me-- yes, miss.

Miss? Yes.

Um, how 'bout a hot apple cider.

Would you like that?

Yeah, sure, sure, sure.

Sure.

Sure, "miss"?

So, Jocelyn...

Sh-sh-shh! No-- what?

The door. The door?

The bells. The bells, what?

On the door-- the bells on the door. Yeah, somebody just came in.

Ooh, that tall drink of water.

More like a black Russian in a highball. What?

It was the bells-- they didn't ring, they tolled.

Yes, they tolled-- a toll, indeed.

Yes, they did toll-- definitely a toll.

The harbinger of a harried fellow.

No, not harried-- the toll was ominous.

Mm, portentous? Yes, good, portentous-- a better, buttery word.

And resonant with a vengeance.

One mint tea,

and a coffee with clouds, 'cause you're so vain!

No, no, no, sh-shh-- no offense val,

but we got a little performance goin' on

right here. Ooh, finally a little haha for your brew,

- what's going on? - Do you know that guy?

Who? That man with the bloodshot eyes like bela l.

Or the sartorial splendor a la Rhett Butler-

nope, never seen him before.

I know the gal.

Oh, do you, val?

Though, maybe not-- she's pretty typical looking.

The gal, val-- hardly typical.

Yup, the blonde, hands curled around her cup?

No, she's no ordinary gal,

more a gamine, or a popsy perhaps.

No... a damsel.

I had no idea you-- shh!

My god, you must have left the house

at a god-awful hour to get here.

Unless you were coming straight from the airport,

when did you get back in town?

I thought you were do later in the week?

Thursday-- I thought you said.

The waitress is coming back in a second.

You know what you want?

Or you need more time maybe?

Maybe you want a moment to decide?

A moment to decide?

Why don't you tell me about that moment for you?

Moment-- what moment?

Decide what? The moment you decided to kill me!

Can never be bloody enough...

Or bloody at all.

Cassius, brutus...

Great names Caesar had, huh?

What must it be like to be stabbed?

Foo!

- Lou gehrig. - Who?

Lou gehrig, that 0ld son of a bitch, ha!

Coined his own disease,

and that speech-- I was at that game.

Are you telling me that your life is on par

with Caesar, or Lou geerig?

It's "gehrig!" Gehrig.

C'mon!

Great lives deserve great deaths.

Okay, let me get this straight.

So, so, the fact that you may be dying,

is not as important as the way...

You are going to die, is that right?

Have I got that right?

Yeah.

How ridiculous are you?

You know what I think?

Seldom.

I think that you've given up.

I think that...

That you just don't care.

I think that you're scared,

you're scared, my love,

of what kind of treatment options are open to you

treatment options?

Treat a poison with a poison?

Meet my maker glowing in a radioactive green hue.

Yeah, that's some option.

No, susie, I don't deserve that-- not that way.

Cancer is slow-- cancer is undignified.

Cancer's not death.

Cancer's dying.

Death is the relief.

Can I tell you something?

Anything-- i-I've been waiting for this moment for,

oh, my gosh, I think maybe my whole life.

Shh. I know-- I know.

My high school English teacher always tells me

to keep it down-- to take the edge off.

That's right, you're still in high school.

Eighteen...

Yeah, I gue-- I guess...

I guess it's right-- I just didn'-- I didn't realize--

even so, I would be graduated,

but I stayed back in second grade...

For? Ohh, it was during recess on the swings, i- -

yeah, you know what?

It's not important.

Check.

Check.

Ohh, you're being evasive.

You're seeing that girl again, aren't ya?

No, no, no.

She bit me, remember ?

That's right.

The bite.

Yeah, yeah.

I did go out, though-- yes I did,

Mr. Manhattan, at it again.

I painted this town a coat a red...

I think I painted blue, too-- now, move.

So, wait-- we agreed that the good book was number one,

and we agree that mao tse tung was the runner-up,

but who is the greatest author?

No, no! What?

No, Don, please, just go.

What?

You always do this, whenever you're about to lose.

You start looking around,

and then you start asking these questions

about stuff that is so irrelevant to the game

that I lose my focus everything is relevant in its own way.

You just have to pay attention.

Uh, so...

So...

- You, uh-- you live on the upper eastside? - Yeah.

So you took the four, five or six train to get here?

I took the six right, yeah.

And you live? On the upper Westside, so I took the one.

Oh, really-- the one?

Yeah, the one.

Days, weeks, months?

Indeed, months since they've seen one another.

Yet no kiss, no embrace. To touch would give them away,

but to not touch is equally telltale.

Infidelity.

Faithless. One forlorn.

But which one? No, both?

Both-- yes, both have lost their way

after having eaten each other's breadcrumbs.

One a one night stand-- one carried on.

The affair was hers-- the stand his-- always his,

yet he loves her no less

before or after the trespass occurred.

But she disregards his plea.

Even after his random hump-hump was divulged,

she knows that divorce isn't necessarily the only option.

No, divorce is so cliche, relish is far better.

A quiet delight, it is now her turn,

a turn already taken?

You know...

I thought I was going to get through the whole morning

without hearing about your fantabulous book,

but hippity-hoo, here, it is.

For your reading pleasure,

yours and yours alone-

for now, but someday, ah!

Here come's your peaches.

Thanks, yes-- delicious as always.

Okay, so we've got one Pinot...

And a bourbon in a rocks glass or 0l' pop pop here...

And a hot apple cider for the terror on the swing set.

Excuse me, Jocelyn...

"0l' pop-pop"?

You know this is a very sensitive issue

for both of us-- I hope you understand.

No, I do, I do.

It's probably a phrase you haven't heard very much, is it?

"I do."

Shakespeare?

No. That thing is so thick.

I mean, why are you convinced

that your life is deserved of a memoir?

Tell me. Because I've lived.

And not just me, everyone has.

It's my belief that as we go through life,

we all discover...

A nugget of truth along the way,

and not just about ourselves, but about this, about it,

about all of this, what this is--

what the hell it is, and this is just my way

of putting what I discovered on the record.

Yeah...

And why not?

I'm pleased with my life.

I'm pleased with what I've come to learn about myself.

What's the title?

"Charmed."

"Charmed"-- that's the title?

Oh, boy.

Happy hal.

Jules verne...

Jules verne?

No. No?

I often wonder what it would have been like if we--

if we had met years ago.

Look at you-- you are...

Oh, magnificent.

So, tell me.

What-what does your mom think about us seeing each other?

Oh yeah, my mom, right.

Well, she's not too happy.

Yeah, nah, I didn't think she-she would be,

but it was her choice.

Yeah, I know but -- um...

Say "yes."

Don't say "yeah," say-say "yes."

Because "yeah" makes you seem so young.

Makes the generation gap that much more apparent.

So now, like the fairest young lady you are...

What do we say?

"Yes"?

Okay, you were-you were-- saying, um, I was saying,

yes, but, um...

But-- rrrr--

I dunno what I was gonna ever say...

Lenin.

Lenin?

Well, obviously not John Vladimir Lenin?

Yeah. You're kidding me.

No. That is scary.

Between that and mao,

it makes you think everyone is a closet communist.

Um, uh, so Clara, uh...

You're not a communist are you?

Excuse me?

No, no, no, for-forget I said that.

Uh, w-would you just hold on just a second,

i-i-i just have to use the restroom--

the-the float and all...

Ah ha-- ah...

I get it, you're kidding me, I get it.

And I'd also like to say "check."

How did you do that?

Lenin.

Never underestimate the pawns, right?

What the hell do you think you're doing?

You have a beautiful woman over there

and you are absolutely blowing it.

I-I'm sorry, who are you?

That doesn't matter-- look, you see this?

This, this, and this?

You know what this is?

This is a sonata-- your sonata.

It's not for full orchestra,

it's only for a select few instruments.

A melody for two-- you and her.

A-A sonata, right-- so, th-that's great.

You gotta title yet?

At the moment?

"Shit."

This time it was me.

Yes, but understand something--

this was no revenge fuck.

If it was I would have done it back when you started--

there's a right to remain desirable. At least, the night I caught you!

There's a retrograde desire within all of us

with a love of the dark.

You're a beautiful woman... exquisite.

Just more susceptible to your demons.

Go to hell.

At least I know now

how black you're capable of painting the picture.

What do you think I've done that you haven't-- no, no-- I'm not here.

Okay-- I'm dead.

No longer able to exist as that man-- your husband.

Listen, a symphony...

Like a grander sonata, in Greek,

means "sounding together."

Men and women-- relationships.

It's like a dance, a longing look,

a lingering scent, a twirl, a dip,

um, two instruments, but...

One...

Magnificent...

Melody.

And you must hear this melody,

and listen to hers,

and accompany, then answer

and accompany and answer.

O-Okay... All right.

Now listen-- the acoustics in here are not ideal,

but they'll be okay.

So, first movement-- the allegro.

How-how old is she?

Um, my mom?

Why? I dunno, just curious.

Can't fault me there-- that's kind of why we're...

Why we're here, no? Yeah...

Yes...

That's okay, you're a little nervous.

No, no, no, I'm not-- um, my mom, right.

Okay, Sara... she's not much older than you.

Maybe even the same age?

Divorced though-- figures, right?

Is she as breathtaking as you turned out to be?

Well, she's my mom and all--

I'm embarrassed to say but...

Yeah, I mean, sorry, no-- yes, yes!

Well hey, you don't have to apologize to me...

Of all people. She's beautiful.

O-Okay, so your mom is...

Beautiful.

And now she lives?

Local, upper eastside-- local.

Wow, how 'bout that.

All this time.

Yes, okay, go!

Uh, okay, but w-what do I say?

"Say"?

No-no-no, you don't "say," y-y-you don't speak.

No... you gaze.

Gaze?

Gaze-- you not a flute, you not an oboe, you are...

A cello.

Sonorous, dauntless.

You go back over there and you look at her.

I mean, you really look at her

because this gaze must be held over four measures of rest

and then you will listen...

And you will hear the pluck of the violin,

and then a trill,

and then the first hint of the melody on the piano,

and then... You're off!

Just listen? Yes.

But I can't-- di-di-di-di!

Just listen.

Listen, you will be surprised how man people don't l--

no, can't listen.

But you'll see, you know?

It will come as it was--

as if it was always there, you know?

Like all melodies, they're in the air.

They're in you, they're in me.

They just need to be harnessed.

Okay, go.

Hi.

Are you okay?

I was thinking about what you said.

What's that?

That great lives deserve great deaths.

So, honey?

Honey? Yeah?

Do you have an--

do you have an ideal way you'd like to die?

Just one way?

No, I'm sure there are several fitting ways--

I got one!

Um, uh, uh-- how 'bout crushed

and broad-sided by a crosstown bus?

Make headlines.

No, no, no, accidents are like red herring.

You know, how about murdered-- ugh!

Premeditated-- yeah, execution-style.

Two shots in the back of the head.

Toosh, toosh!

Just like that... By the jealous husband

of a beautiful young alsatian woman.

Uh, artist, painting landscapes

at the foot of the black forest...

Who I discovered and discovered and discovered...

Woo, wooo, wooo!

At the foot of the black forest.

What are you-- living in a fairy tale?

That would have been a hell of a time to go, though,

because, believe me, I was ready,

because darling I saw heaven with her.

Aren't you going to eat your salad?

Yeah, yeah, it's just--

I love New York.

I mean, as I'm sure you do, as-as I'm sure everybody does.

It's just... the trick to the city

is no matter how much you love it, i-it's not capable of loving you back.

Right.

But w-what the city can do,

better than anyplace else in the world,

is set the stage for success.

A-And not just professionally, b-but personally...

Set the stage for love.

I'm overjoyed that you were able to join me here today.

Onstage, but...

The spotlight's hardly on me.

It's on you.

You're beautiful...

And I, like the audience-- I'm sure I'm having a hard time

not only being at ease, but taking my eyes off you.

Wow...

The way you said that was so...

Yeah...

It is, I mean, i-i-it was--

t-that was eloquent. Yeah!

Eloquent-- melodic even.

Wow, a real Casanova you are, huh?

Yeah, that was good-- that was really good!

Mmm, how 'bout that?

What?

Casanova.

Funny how a guy could die a hundred years ago

and still come up in a conversation.

That is when you know that your life has had an impact.

Casanova, right...

Trust?

Can't say I ever trusted you in the first place.

Shouldn't truly place your trust in anyone.

Only took half my life to understand that.

Lucky me, huh?

Sounds like your mother again...

Or do you call her "madam," too?

Life lessons from convicted felon--

tell me, Claude, she teach you that through the glass?

Trust...

No.

More of a hope, a belief,

that I provided everything you required

to keep you from straying.

"Required"?

What I required?

I had no idea you were-- what you don't know can't hurt you.

That's some sort of absolute, right?

It is right.

It doesn't hurt.

It kills, slowly.

A gaze of adoration...

Succumbing to what has been there,

what has always been there since the beginning.

And even there, now in the end.

His love for her. But love is now fading.

There is another passion, equally potent

and overriding his initial affection for this Cleopatra.

Bet you don't know who took more lovers.

Cleopatra or Casanova?

What's the deal, huh, Don?

Can we just play chess?

I am playing-- I don't know...

Cleopatra took her first lover when she was 12 years old.

Okay, okay-- 12, okay, so what?

Just saying.

Something to be said about that.

About what?

About getting an early start.

Queen me, big guy.

Hal? Yes dear?

Who's that person that you--

the woman?

Yeah, the one you saw heaven with?

In the black forest?

In hell, too...

Her name was Dominique...

Dominique, yeah right.

And her husband?

Never knew.

So, it's true?

Before or after we were?

Before and after.

With Dominique?

And others. And others?

You're asking? I'm asking.

I'm interested-- I have a right to know.

Yes, you do, and no, you don't.

Yes, I do-- we're married.

Oh come on, what's that really mean?

It means that 33 years ago we took vows

that's what it means-- oh, grow up.

There's a big difference between the mind and the body,

the body and mind, and nothing,

not even marriage is going to harness the latter.

I would appreciate if you took the edge

off of your voice-- why?

You insulted me. I insulted you?

You just told me that you had multiple affairs!

Yes, and when you asked me with whom,

you made it sound as if you couldn't possibly believe

that any woman would even have anything to do with me--

well, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

What? I mean...

What? Look at you!

What!

It's just that you're hal.

Yes, I am, I'm hal-- I mean, it's nice to meet you!

That's exactly why I did it!

You're my hal-- I mean, since when did you get around?

When did I get around?

I mean, let's be realistic, in order for you

to park your car for 27 years on the street

without ever getting a ticket, that little buick--

you had to lead a pretty humdrum life-- humdrum?

I wouldn't call it hum-- humdrum, baby.

Dull-dull-dull-dull, dull-dull-dull!

When did you ever leave the island?

Never since I've known you.

Oh, but I have.

Oh, really? Yes.

I've been nagging you to take a trip since I met you. Ha!

To leave the borough at least!

It's just so amazing to be here with you!

To touch you, to look at you, like, I think about--

or thought about-- well, you don't want to know that.

I don't know-- um, I mean...

I know it's just a short time that we've spent-- "short" time?

My dear, in the grand scheme, it's been but a-but a moment.

But we're together now!

And its like you're the missing piece in my life.

You make it possible to finally make sense of myself!

All right, all right...

Let's not get carried away here...

Oh, ho ho!

So, Jocelyn...

Jocelyn, Jocelyn... You know I wanna...

Be a part of your life, a-a significant part--

well, yeah-- no, "yes!"

I mean you made me who I am today!

No, no, I-I played a small part--

yes, but i-- no, no, you're not a small part.

No one understands me and now I know why.

You're my answer-- you like complete me, and stuff...

I already know that I love you.

Oh my god, did I just say that?

No, it-- it's true, I mean, we were--

it's-it's okay.

I, um...

You know what I heard?

What, what, what?

'Bout love.

Bukowski... Charles bukowski.

The poet.

Doesn't mince words, that guy.

He just-- the poetry just falls out of him.

You know, he's pock marked and smoking, and--

I saw a documentary on the guy? Mmm-hmm.

Sitting back and taking drags of a cigarette

and the interviewer asks him

'bout life and death and... love.

What is love?

What about love?

Now, I wasn't paying much attention up until then,

but then I sat up and took notice...

And bukowski without missing a beat,

in his short breaths and raspy baritone voice says...

You've loved me?

Yes, love-- don't you love me?

Oh man, Jocelyn... Love is...

"A morning mist...

"A fog...

"That the daylight of reality burns away."

Bleak.

Bleak.

Hoo-- it is complicated. Complicated?

Love isn't complicated...

Oh, god, you are-- you're so free, so y-young!

You not only put yourself out on a limb

but you are dancing on it.

Well, can't you tell me-- don't you love me?

Well, let's just put it this way--

you only know 25 percent of who I really am.

Oh, my god.

Well, please introduce me to the rest of you

as soon as possible.

It's in the book.

Gimme it.

Coming up.

Oh, my god, I can't read this!

It's all handwritten-- are you kidding me?

Well, give it back to me here.

You do it and see if you can decipher it, and please,

none of the first chapters, I don't want the--

I don't want none of the kindergarten boo-boos

or the early childhood crushes -- "boo-boos"?

Excuse me, my dear, this isn't that kind of a book.

No, no, no, this memoir is much more risque than that.

Everyone else?

Who?

What do you-- do you think you're the only one?

There's someone else? Oh, no, now see?

You-you're crying...

No-- see i-- i--

I didn't-i didn't want it to-- turn into--

now, you're crying-- I thought I was the only one.

The only one?

No, no, no... Well, how many others are there?

I wouldn't know. Holy shit!

Sh-sh-sh... Don't-don't curse. Oh, no?

Oh, you don't like that-- no, no? Don't curse.

Shit, shit, shit, yeah, yeah, yeah!

All right, you know what? How do you like that?

You know what-- you need a drink.

Here you go-- oh no, no!

What am I doing?

Uh, you're not old enough.

Oh, now you want to be my father!

All right, all right, I deserve that.

I have to go.

No, wait...

Go?

Okay, all right, i--

I dunno, I-I understand why you have to go,

I-I just don't hope you do.

No, I don't!

Jocelyn, it's for your own good.

It's for your own good, Jocelyn.

H-H-Hey, y'know, eh, don't tell your mom... Yeah, no kidding.

Although, I would like to call her sometime.

Are you serious?

You don't want to see me, but you're gonna call my mom?

All right!

Bye!

I guess...

She doesn't really need to blow out the...

Two o'clock.

What? Every time, two o'clock.

No... That's when he's due to arrive.

And this time I'll be waiting for him.

No-no... See, I too have a love of the dark.

A demon... No, you don't understand.

I believe I do, quite perfectly.

I suppose I can ask you about your family.

Ya know, how you got along with your father.

Your past relationships, all the men you've been with.

Y'know, it's all the things that men foolishly concern themselves with

when they're meeting a woman for the first time.

I guess, I just-- I really want to know about you,

and now...

Ya know, like, uh, the woman you've become-

except we've all made mistakes...

Ya know what I mean-- like, you have, I have.

So, it's all right.

In fact, I like to think the more mistakes somebody has made

the more lessons they've learned.

So the more life they've lived.

Some people call it jaded,

I g-guess I prefer the term "angles."

Ya know, like-like the more angles, like a prism,

the more spectacular the light.

So, tell me something.

Right, well-- oh my god, where do I begin?

Right here, just right now.

You tell me what you want me to know about you

and I will sit here and do

what, I imagine, not many men have done for you.

What's that?

Just listen.

Okay, um...

You know what this is?

Yes.

You know what I'd like you to do with it?

Oh, my word, look at that ring!

The last time this box was opened was 13 years ago

in St. Petersburg,

our favorite city, yours and mine.

Above all others-- Paris, Rome, Prague.

We were there in June, at the height of the white nights.

The three Bridges that span the neva river,

rise splitting the city in two.

We found ourselves on the opposite side away from our hotel

in the glow of the sun just sitting there on the horizon.

You remember how cold it was?

You were a vision.

I mean, what do you think?

What are men's perspectives these days?

I don't know, what do you want?

The, uh, th-the man's perspective?

Because, you know, on-on-on what?

It's just-it's just-- I mean, I am a man,

but I'm not supposed to be.

I mean, I'm n-not trying to be "man"...

I mean, you are a man, no?

You're being silly! Mmm-hmm...

So, could you just excuse me?

I have to go to the restroom for a second.

Okay.

One moment, one moment, por favor.

Let me put this fermata in.

What? Look, I-I don't know what happened over there--

what-- well, you were doing great.

You were so espressivo, I mean allegro, you hit every note, every accent

and you listened.

I know-i know, I heard it, too!

Th-the first movement and all but... Yes!

But what? I-It became something else.

Yes, yes, yes, as anything in life progresses,

it must become something deeper.

I looked at you and for the first time

was accepting of all of you.

Your past, your illness...

Illness?

What I did, I did for money-- I'm not sick.

What's sick is your mother hired me

and then introduced to her darling son.

Is that you, darling?

I might have been a whore but to be born to one?

You wear a whore well.

You miss it, don't you?

The spread, the stare to the left, the wait.

Waiting, waiting till he's done with you?

Tell me, Claude, have you figured out

who your father is?

The ring-- I want it back.

Unceremoniously, not for sentimental reasons

as much as it will be symbolic.

I don't even want to touch you.

I want you to take it out of whatever dark place

you've kept it so conveniently hidden,

place it in this box,

and step out of my life for good.

Then you'll be dead to me...

As much as I'm sure I'm dead to you.

You know which country has the highest divorce rate?

Don... Stop Don.

Just stop it.

And they're, uh, almost double the divorce rate

of the second highest country,

which happens to be Cuba, of all places.

You know what, I'm in.

Mmm-hmm. I actually want to know.

Which is it-- the U.S., britian...

No, and... no.

Well I don't know, do you want to share?

Maldives.

Maldives?

Like Tsunami Maldives?

You know, Indian ocean, series of small islands.

Wow, Maldives.

You know what the key to a happy marriage is?

Don't get married in Maldives.

Husband and wife like king and queen, stay close,

but always independent at all times.

Hi...

Chelsea.

Hi, Chelsea, wow you--

wow, look at you, you are gorgeous.

Oh, well, I wanted to look my best for you.

And you do, course you do.

Although you know, I guess I am...

Well, I am somewhat responsible for that.

So, how did you know I was...

Oh, um, just a country hunch.

Oh, i-- hmmph, I haven't heard that one,

is that similar to a country mile

ya know, the illusion of something

being more of a stretch than it really is?

I guess, I mean, I don't know.

Look at you all Freddie fidgety, you're funny.

A memoir?

Yes, memoir!

I hate memoirs.

People write down only what they remember

and it turns out to be everything they should forget.

Here's to memoirs.

Well, let's see, no-no-no.

No, no, no...

I'll find something--

here, how 'bout right here.

Go ahead.

Well that was a very good day.

Yeah, which I'm sure there were plenty.

Yeah.

Yeah, well, eh...

You may not know this about me,

but, um, for a short time I was a bugle player.

You were a bugle player?

Yes, quite a good one at that.

I played the Kentucky derby three times.

Really?

And then, I hit a sour note, sent the horses bucking

and maimed the favored jockey.

Okay.

- What else? - Well, let's see.

The second movement.

The adagio.

Meaning?

Adagio, means slow like a ballad,

the strings become like silk,

the violin and the cello trading melodies like kisses--

la laaa-la- la-lal-la

right okay, so slower, deeper.

Yes-yes-yes-yes.

No, this is wrong.

What do you mean it's brilliant

and getting better.

It's horrible. Come again?

What, what's wrong?

Well, no wonder she ran off,

he should at least take a knee.

Agreed, a knee.

Yeah, proposals--

what are we talking, twice, three times nowadays?

There's got to be something we can do to nudge it along,

push it one way or another,

he's just sitting there.

You know what, there is.

What'd you say to her?

You'll see.

Do-do-do- do-dooo

shut up.

I was reading rolling stone the other day.

Here we go, here we go.

Four pieces on the board

and he wants to talk about music.

Well, I thought you might like to know what I read about?

Oh sure, you're going to tell me regardless, Don.

No I won't, no I won't,

not if you don't want to hear it,

I won't tell you.

No, please, by all means,

'cause you will be telling me.

Well I was reading about a certain musical artist.

Who has more international acclaim and recognition

than any other musical artist in the world.

People not only know his music,

they know his lyrics...

And they can sing his songs with the very same gusto

that they were intended to be sung with.

Gusto?

Yeah.

Whether you're, uh, in St. Mark's square in venice?

Or at a karaoke club in Tokyo?

Whether you're up in the arctic with the eskimos?

Or down in the Amazon with a game hunter?

And the uncivilized tribes of Africa?

Okay, you lost me at the eskimos.

Okay, I got it.

So who is it?

I don't know, Don.

Is that Billy Joel playing?

Figured you might say that,

and, no, that is not Billy Joel playing

although it sounds like it

and no, that is a terrible guess.

How wonderful for you.

What are your sister's names?

Helaina and Scarlett, they're younger.

Actually, four and two and a half.

It's hard... it's sometimes real tough,

coming down, late, for breakfast in the morning,

and seeing them already all huddled there around the table,

like a real family, doesn't quite matter if i'm--

well, sometimes i'm not sure where I fit

and maybe that's why I'm here.

Well look, I'm here for you now, okay.

You and I, we're melodies.

We're melodies-- wow, I love that!

Yeah, right, of course, we have to allow each other

to take the lead,

but what is the lead without the accompaniment?

Nothing-- and in order for a melody to reach its true magnificence

it needs the support of a second instrument.

Right. You know, a Harmony if you will and vice versa.

Yeah, right.

Just like that first movement of a symphony,

that first speeding beat of our heart

in a new relationship

is very much like the happiest time

or the allegro.

Right. As we both know, that happy time is a tease

or a harbinger of things to come later.

But in order for melodies to reach their true fanfare,

they need a second movement,

a deeper, emotional bond of a movement,

the adagio.

Adagio?

Yeah, I feel like a trumpet player

to your uh...

Oh, what am I?

Um, I don't know, I'm uh... I'm a piano!

No-no, I'm uh, a flute-- yes!

Well then you hear it, the melodies.

Yes, I can hear it.

Oh, my god, I didn't know that I had one.

I mean, not one that I could hear or anything.

Melodies just exist.

Like, they have always been there within us,

it's just about listening to them and harnessing them,

and finding someone to harmonize with.

Much as... we might've found in one another.

You ask me what men want?

They want the same thing as you.

To find someone to make beautiful music with.

I guess I'm just a little bit alarmed

that you think you feel this way already.

I mean, we're only on our first date.

Oh, god, hal, this is rich.

Yeah, let's see what else is in here.

Here, let me see if I can find another one.

Please.

I was an alternate on the Marv Albert trial.

Is that so?

Yes, I was dying to get on that,

because if anyone knows about cross dressing,

it's this guy.

It's the Beatles.

Easy-- gotta be the Beatles.

They're on everyone's lips, they're in everyone's hips,

gotta be the Beatles.

They're in everyone's hips?

Yes, they are, in everyone's hips

and they're on everyone's lips

that's how pervasive the Beatles are.

No, it is not the Beatles.

It's not them?

Okay, it's enough, it's enough.

Lot more here.

Forgive me for questioning you,

but when did all this happen?

You never talked about any of this to me.

Well, no... No?

So?

It's in the silences.

In the silences?

Thirty years we've been coming here, right?

Same spot, same table, we're married, yes?

We're married. We converse at times, yeah?

More in the beginning than now,

and usually it's me listening

and you talking.

Oh, come on.

But most of all, above all, we're quiet.

People look at us and they think

"ugh, what a musty life they must live,

"being together so long,

"nothing to talk about but the day."

Yeah, the eggs, the pancakes...

We're sitting idle here, couple of blank looks,

wallowing in our own familiarity for one another.

You're like a jazz riff, you know that?

I always tell you not to order the onion soup.

I know, I know, it's so scrumptious,

but so toilsome to eat.

Oh, oh, oh, you have a little something right here,

a small piece of basil.

There you've got it.

Smells good, be careful don't burn yourself.

I know you love it so.

Oh, wait, you were here with someone else before me?

Yeah. This morning?

Yeah, and I have another one coming in about an hour.

An hour, you're giving me an hour?

Impossible.

Something's got to get me back to where I was?

All right, all right, all right!

All right, there's only one way

you can seduce her now.

What?

Just go back over there and take the lead.

What do I do?

Just listen, you'll hear it

and when you hear it you won't have to know what to do,

it will just take you over.

No, I didn't order this.

Nope, nope-- not my faux pas,

this is from another pair in the place

hoping for the best for you and yours.

Anything for you gallie?

Uh, yeah, hi.

How 'bout a Gibson?

Ooh, spicy, remind...

A jigger of gin, Gordon's,

a pony of vermouth preferably French,

and--

an onion-- Pearl, right?

Yeah-- a Pearl onion, to chase away a cold.

Ooh, kinda chilly in here, no?

Uh, no-no thanks.

I'm fine.

Had my last drag coupled with my fourth divorce

fifteen summers ago.

Kicked a bad habit and a bad husband,

bravo!

Kicked, no more like I had my fill.

Don't suppose I could tempt ya?

Like I said, I had my fill,

of both smoking and men-

I was talking about the champagne.

I wasn't.

What is this all about then?

What's what?

What, what, what?

This, us ...

No, understand something...

Uh, there-there is no us.

What you insist on making out to be something

you did for purely selfish reasons

is something priceless to me.

And you act so callous-- detached.

Your friends left you here, by yourself.

They promised they would.

Yes, they did.

Now what?

I don't know.

No, nor do I.

Any other guesses? Elvis Presley.

No, not Elvis Presley.

Dylan?

You'd think so, but no.

My mind has been everywhere but here.

Life is in the listening, least it is for me.

May I please have that?

I just want to get this straight.

So everything you wrote down,

all this then in your head,

this stuff, is this stuff you overheard?

No, I don't know...

'Cause is you're not joking,

this is, uh, a little too much to, uh--

more than you can take in all at once?

You betcha.

Well that's your fault

because I've been trying to tell you for years.

It's amazing how much you miss

when you rely solely on a bottle for your message.

I'm drinking because your sick.

But my dear, you have always concentrated on one aspect

of the thing.

And what would that be?

The gossip-- when there's so much more to it

and so much more money to be made.

- Oh, really? - Yes.

So what you do is lucrative?

One has to be smart about it,

of course, discount most of what one hears,

but there have been a few gems along the way,

stock picks, horse race fixes,

real estate deals, ideas heard in passing,

it's amazing the things that people won't patent.

Right, is that so?

That's so.

Let's just say there's a tidy sum

I've been able to amass.

Tidy? Yeah.

Several million, now edging up into the teens.

Patience...

Pardon? Patience, that's what the British call it.

Patience.

Right, forty thieves, idiots delight, spider,

they're all variations.

But, I like mine pretty much straight ahead--

it's a game for one.

Me, I love Patience.

You know, it's like striving for perfection...

Supposedly, Napoleon was the first one to play it

and now me...

In exile no doubt?

Please, Mrs. Crimmins,

yes?

Tell me about your husband?

What?

You want to know about my husband?

Well, why don't you just ask him yourself?

Mrs. Crimmins, please.

Do you mind?

No more of that, please.

I ask only because for a woman like yourself

to hold on like you do,

he must have been a very special man.

Okay.

Thanks doc.

What?

It's too late for me for love, but not for you.

So go now and let me begin.

No, no, no, don't worry about it, I got her.

She's all mine.

Wait, you got her?

No, I romanced her for you.

Without my music, you are an idiot.

Oh, yeah?

Yes, yes, you see, she's much too exquisite

to be that strong.

I start out very delicately

just a legato, a violin, a cello.

No, no, no-- no thanks.

I got it from here.

Now, I suppose I brought up Napoleon

because we do have something in common,

but not exile.

No, we both have the ability to stage one spectacular coup,

his passion was France,

mine was bad marriages.

A woman can be so delicious on the flipside.

Prepare for the worst, right, hal?

Anything in your little book prepare us for this?

I suppose we should talk about your will.

My will?

Mmm-- not that I believe one iota of what you told me,

or what you wrote, but if it is true,

where the heck is this money you're talking about?

Where? Yeah, where?

I mean, I would like to believe this is true

but nevermind.

I actually don't, it's okay.

And if it is true and I didn't leave it to you,

what would you do?

I would kill you faster than any cancer could,

that's what I would do!

Now let's go!

My husband...

He, uh?

Let's go!

I like to think he was the world's last gentleman.

Pardon me, may I?

I-I didn't know what I was getting myself into,

I-I didn't know what I signed up for.

Well that's it then, nothing to say?

What can I say?

Well, sucker born every minute, right?

Don't... don't tell your mom.

His stories turned to tales

which grew taller everyday,

I like to think he died of an overactive imagination,

so what are you doodling there?

The times crossword.

I thought the only gray lady in this room was four tables over,

you finished?

Right, well, yes and no, let's just say,

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours?"

What? Your memoir, do you mind?

No, go right ahead.

Oh, so you did finish.

I did, as did you.

You not only finished, you started it,

you're royston wield.

That's me.

Call me Roy.

Roy, well it must be a lot harder to do what you do.

Tougher to.

Most people solve the problem,

but you have to create it.

Creating it must be a lot more daunting.

Create them everyday,

get even harder as the week goes on.

Yeah, must be tough trying to reach a deadline like that?

Yes and no.

As with anything you develop a method

by which each puzzle can be completed

and published on time.

Published?

Don't necessarily think of it like that

but people do pay for the paper.

Yeah, well you know,

uh, I'm been trying to get my memoir--

published.

I know.

Yeah, I guess you would because you--

overheard. Right, yeah.

Oh, my god, here he comes.

Now... pardon me, for asking

and if this is too forward,

by all means, let me have it.

But would you...

Hmm-- would you be available maybe in the coming week

for-- not for coffee,

obviously, but I don't know, maybe dinner,

cozy Italian hole in the wall,

then downtown for a little jazz at this improv place--

wow!

What? Are you kidding?

No.

You know I don't suppose it's a coincidence

that rat trap is right underneath your table?

Someone delicious joining you today?

Divine.

Ah, but that love's a puzzler isn't it?

I mean, sometimes it's a match

but more often than not it's a miss

and then how do you know?

I mean, you're obviously having a little proposal

going on over there.

Look at you with your ring and your bubbly,

you popper you.

But how do you know when it's time?

You are an inquisitive one.

Hey, I can relate,

I mean, I've got a lover, too.

Are you in love?

No question.

How do you know?

Umm?

Your overhearing is beyond rude,

it's almost criminal!

Well, then explain it.

I mean...

My name is Grant,

the theme this time was a person.

Me? You!

You'll be in Sunday's edition.

Sunday's edition, really, tomorrow?

Well, next week.

Oh, yeah so...

Funny thing about crosswords, the real effort--

besides coming up with the words

is making them all link together

uh, accordingly.

Both across and down, to make other words,

well, you know...

But what you may not know is that the final word

is sometimes filled in on its own,

a word created based solely on the other words

coming together, a word unintended.

It just appears?

It just appears, and what's even more miraculous,

every time it happens, it always fits.

Fits?

With the theme of the crossword.

I don't know why or how, it just fits.

Care to see?

Uh, see, what?

Your word.

I donated, to a sperm bank.

Legally you can do so every three weeks

and I... ya know, I did it,

I don't know, a few times...

Paid me enough to get by,

so over the next few years, I donated,

and I donated,

and-- you donated-

and so now those girls you see--

they're your kids, your kids.

So why the cake?

Well legally, when they reach the age of 18,

they're able to look at the profile of the person

who donated and I checked the box

that said they would be willing to be looked up

when they were ready

and I suppose they get to see the other stuff,

my IQ, my appearance, my interests.

Suppose that's why I was chosen by so many women

over and over and over.

That and you're a total hunk.

So, what do you say?

How 'bout it, would you...

Like to?

Uh, this is uh...

I'm sorry, I didn't get your name.

Laura, uh, whatever.

All right, whatever, this is deidre.

We were just talking about--

what were we talking about?

Love.

Love, that's right.

Somewhat of a puzzler that love,

wouldn't you say, Laura?

Right.

Yeah, but apparently, Laura's got it all figured out

she knows when she's really in love with somebody

who I guess is arriving here any minute,

isn't that what you said, around two?

Yup.

Gonna be late I imagine.

Yeah.

Close to two.

Yeah, uh...

Well that begs the question though,

what is it about this woman

that's makes you know you love her above all others?

Well, I...

Well I mean really who cares, let's just have a toast,

we have to get another glass.

No, no, no, it's really okay.

No, really, come on, we should have a toast.

So, we all set?

Oh, no, I was thinking maybe we could get some dessert?

I mean, I'm having such a great time

and I thought maybe we could spend

a little bit more time together.

Oh, okay, I mean, I just thought.

What?

I mean, you know, since we're getting along so well,

we could just go back to my place.

And what?

Sorry.

Go back to your place?

On a first date?

I mean, it's a little late for sorry don't you think?

My god that was so rude, but that's so typical.

No, no, no, Clara I, uh--

Clara!

Did you see what he just did? What?

He sprinkled something in that champagne flute.

What?

What, what-- rat poison!

All right, then.

You should know, you're a fan of film noir, poison!

To fitting ends and new beginnings.

Cheers.

- Rose? - Rose.

Rose, I don't know.

Gotta get down to the times now anyway,

have a puzzle I have to deliver by four.

It's a doozy all right,

I drew it up in penn station yesterday.

Another cafe?

No, I had a coffee break with some maintenance guys.

Definitely an interesting crew.

By the way, here's my card.

Yeah. Main number on the bottom there with my extension-

you'll let me know when it happens?

What?

Rose... What it means.

Like I said, always means something,

usually a good thing. Yeah.

Poison what are you talking about?

I know, I like to dramatize,

but somebody's been poisoned.

Who? I don't know, he mixed the glasses round .

No, no, no.

Look he's up and about to take a knee.

Oh, my god, the champagne.

Or maybe not.

What have we done?

He took the poison,

I thought it was for you or you?

Turn around.

Wait, wait he's trying to say something-

what did he say? He said, "turn around."

What?

Will you marry me?

Clara, I just had a good feeling about you

and, um, you know, it's just like uh--

shhh!

What?

Shhhh!

Okay, okay-- shhh!

Can you just be quiet for a second,

you've been doing a lot of talking,

don't you think? Okay.

Who is that man?

Uh, what man?

That guy, the guy who's been staring at us

and you at him the whole time?

Oh, that man?

Yeah.

Well, it-- kind of a long story.

How familiar are you with music?

That's what I mean, I can hear it.

The sonata?

You can?

Yeah, it's beautiful...

Can you hear it?

No, I can't, I could before, but now I can't.

Ohhh, look at it sparkle.

Oh, she likes diamonds, you're in big trouble.

I don't understand.

Wow!

Forgive me for eavesdropping

but I heard most of your conversation.

Anyway, I thought i'd fill you in on someone.

My favorite artist, poet, musician--

you may not have thought about

regarding your pain principle.

Someone who, uh, words actually often come to mind

when I'm thinking about my husband,

when I think about our time here together.

Like I said, it's been three years

since I'm knocking at your door

and still I can knock some more.

You see in life I know there's lots of grief,

but your love is my relief.

I got it.

I got it!

He's finally got it-

Bob Marley.

That's it! Ha!

No woman no cry

please, don't cry .

Checkmate.

Congratulations.

So what'd you think of my play?

I loved it-- ohh, I loved it!

You know, we're like an hour into overtime?

I'm kidding, I'm kidding -- brilliant!

So nice touch with the poison...

Well, we tried strangling in rehearsal

but it didn't really work as well as the poison.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you, abientot?

Abientot.

Umm, obituaries please.

Yeah, hi?

Umm, yeah...

I'd like to place an obituary for tomorrow, please?

Neither.

Nope, doesn't make any difference how I know him, I just do.

Yeah, hal smathers.

Hal smathers.

Uh, no-no wait, $50.40?

And it's a five line minimum?

No wait, let me ask you something,

um, what's the maximum?

The maximum number of lines?

There's no maximum?

No, um, I'll need more than a fax.

Listen, I'll drop it off today, okay?

Tomorrow, Sunday?

Wow, yeah, all right, I'll be right down.

Okay.

What?

Rose?

Ya beat me everytime.

The wisdom of the crowd.

The brilliance of the bunch my friend.

H.l. Menken said, "no one ever went broke

"underestimating the intelligence

"of the great masses of the plain people."

Which directly contradicts mao,

who said "listen to the people,

"and then teach them."

I disagree with mao.

I think is one's truly aware of one's surroundings,

one can learn everything one wants

from the collective minds

that exist in the most mundane of places.

Like this cafe. Voila.

If one pays more attention to one's surroundings

than oneself, it's all quite a spectacle.

You want to play again?