All language subtitles for E13 - Taking Sides [720p WEB-DL 140MB nItRo]

encoded by nItRo
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- Previously on awkward...

- You can't leave with
the horseshoe

Unless you pony up...
Your phone number.

- You said you were never
embarrassed of me.

- I lied.
- I got you this.

All: Surprise!

- Are you breaking up with me?
- I am so, so sorry, matty.

I'm so sorry.

- It had been three weeks since
matty and I had broken up.

Three weeks in which
I'd cried my eyes out,

Beaten myself up, and eaten
my weight in egg nog fro yo.

If the mourning period
for an ex

Was half the length
of the relationship,

Technically, I was still getting
over matty.

In reality, I had moved on,

And was surprisingly ready
to try something new.

In fact, I was trying
a lot of new things.

Maybe it was the promise
of the new year,

Or residual holiday spirit,

But I felt hopeful
about the transition.

Sure, my friends were going
to accept the change in me,

And my relationship.
There would be no taking sides

Or forcing people
to choose a team--

Even though I had--and I was
definitely on team collin.

- I'm telling you,
she's on team matty.

- Sadie is not into matty.
She's just using him for rides.

Since she's been
car-maxed out,

"sucks-ton" has been making him
drive her to school every day.

- I don't feel comfortable
gossiping about matty, okay?

- Technically, we're gossiping,
you're accessorizing.

- When did you start
accessorizing?

And wearing skinny jeans?

And when did you change up
your room?

It's different.

- Sometimes different is good.

I just felt like it was time
to grow up.

- Okay, ms. 401k.

Far be it from us to keep you
from your night at the opera.

- Collin and I
are going shopping

At the school
consignment store.

You want to come?

- It's not that we don't want
to hang with you and collin,

It's just...
- Weird!

- It doesn't have to be.

I just want to get back
to normal.

- So do we, but our normal
is jenna and matty.

- Well, there's a new normal.

And I'm sure if you get
to know collin,

You'll like him
as much as I do.

- We'll hang next time.
Promise.

[doorbell rings]

- Uh, can you guys get that?

And be nice.
- I punched the guy one time

And you chris brown-ify me.

- You don't have to stand
out there.

Everyone in here is decent.
It looks like I'm au naturel,

But I swear, I'm wearing
a sports bra.

- Mom, don't say that
in front of--

[keys tapping]

Hi.

- I was hoping we could talk.

- I think you girls
should leave, and run

Interference, since olin-snay
is on his way over, okay?

- That's not how you say it,
but I can anslate-tray.

We're on it.

- Come in!

How have you been?
What's going on?

- Mom?
- Hmm?

Oh, you want privacy.

Do you want privacy?
- Mom.

This is really weird.

- Yeah.
And this is so much better.

- Matty--
- listen, jenna--

- No, you talk first,
since you're the one

Who came over to do it.
I mean...

Talk.

- Jenna, I don't want you
to think that I hate you.

- I don't.

And I don't want you
to think that either.

- I don't.

- I've been
thinking about us,

And it doesn't have
to be uncomfortable.

- That is exactly what
I have been feeling,

And that's why I think
we should...

- Just forget about it.
- Get back together.

I still love you, jenna.

- Matty--
- I just don't understand

How we could be the way we were

And then just, what,
shut it all off?

- I didn't.
- So why not start over?

- I can't.
- If I can, you can.

- I can't.
- Why not?

- Because I don't want to.

I just need a break.

- I thought we were already
on a break?

- No, we're broken up.

We just need a break
from each other

So that we can start
new chapters in our lives,

And eventually
be friends again.

- Okay.

Yeah, sure.

- Matty, I really don't want
this to be weird between us...

Or our friends.

- It won't be.

[door opens, closes]
- whew.

So how long do you think
this break is gonna last?

I'm only asking because
we have tickets

To the next clippers game,

And your dad needs someone
to do high-impact

High fives with.

- If he needs someone there,
why doesn't he invite collin?

- Sweetie, with everything
that's happened with matty?

Well, it just
wouldn't be right.

Besides, we don't even
know collin.

- That was the problem.

No one in my life knew collin.

He was just that jerk
who destroyed my relationship,

And the unfortunate victim
of some bad press.

It was time to call
a press conference.

[bell rings]
- you went to hamilton's house?

You are such a dumbass.
- I know I'm a dumbass.

- I deleted her number,
vms, texts,

And skanky pics
from your phone.

And yes, I saw the one of her
in her training bra.

If only I could delete that
from my memory.

- Me too.

- Put away your cry face,
mckibben.

You think jenna cheating on you

Isn't a big whore deal,
but it is.

You should hate her
for what she did.

- You don't have to hate her
because of me.

Jenna doesn't want everybody
taking sides.

- What kind of [bleep]-up,

Apocalyptic world
are we living in

Where jenna hamilton gets
to call the shots?

[phone chirps]

Devon is texting you?

And you're texting her,
a lot!

I love devon.

Why am I consoling you when
you are clearly moving on?

- Well, I'm taking it slow.
- Which may be a problem,

Because slow is not
devon's speed.

- Okay, so maybe I'll have
to speed up my process.

[phone whirs]

- It's from me.

It says
I'm walking towards you,

And we'll be saying "hi"
in about four seconds.

Hi.
- What are you doing here?

- You invited me to lunch.
- When?

- At the frozen yogurt place.

- We didn't even speak.

- We did, telepathically.
Otherwise, why would I be here?

- Because you're
a freak of nature.

What are you doing?
[phone camera clicks]

- It'll be easier for you
to remember

My face if you're looking
at a copy of me

Instead of the real me.

- Yet I prefer
to forget you both.

- I'll hold a table in
the center of the quad for us.

Bring sunscreen.

It's been proven to delay
the effects of melanoma.

- A barbecue is the perfect way
to ease the weirdness.

You know,
make the transition easier?

- Who's coming?
- Everybody.

You, me, jake,
fred, ming, collin.

- So everybody except matty.
- Trust me,

Matty wouldn't
want our breakup

To put a damper on the group
any more than I do.

- Look, I know you want this
to be all easy, breezy, b.C.G.,

But, like this sloppy joe,
breakups are messy.

- This is important to me,
and you promised.

- [sighs]

I'll bring the plastic
ice cubes.

- Mind if I join you guys?

- What are you doing
tomorrow night?

- Whatever you want me to.

- Then, you're coming
to a party at my house.

Just a handful of people.

Tamara will be there.
- What's up, iron fist?

- [chuckles]
oh!

This table is too small
for all of us.

Jake, matty, sit with me
on the grass.

Ming, fred, you stay here since
you're allergic to dew.

- Where did you meet him?

- At that dumb thadwick
Halloween party.

He's some bitch's
boo radley brother.

- He doesn't look like
a psycho.

He's really cute.
- Too bad he's touched.

- [gasps] by an angel?
- In the head, diphole.

- So you don't like-like him.

- It's kind of hard for me
to get it up for a guy who

Probably has dead hamsters
in his freezer.

- So if you're out,
then he's available,

Like, for me.

- You want to date austin?
- But no sex.

I'm re-virginizing for jesus.

They say if you pray
hard enough,

It can grow back.
I hope it's not painful.

How do I look?

- Like a fancy popsicle.
- [squeals]

- That's your lunch?

Please tell me you're
not "manorexic."

- I'm exactly the right weight
for my height.

In addition to being good
for the eyes,

Carrots are nature's
most attractive vegetables.

[chuckles]
- [laughs]

- Who's that one?

- I'm lissa,
sadie's best friend.

Sadie has told me all about you.
- Of course she did.

She's in love with me.

- Oh, look, the bus
from "crazy go nuts" high.

Don't let it
leave without you.

Bye.
- But I still have nine carrots.

- Can I have one?

Hey! Did you know sadie's
last boyfriend died,

And everyone thought
she killed him?

That was after they thought
she was pregnant with his baby.

- If you ever kill me,

I can only hope you'll keep
our murder baby.

- ♪ I opened up my eyes

♪ and I saw the sunlight
in a new way ♪

♪ it's a new phase ♪

- I'm not going to that
sausage party at jenna's.

I'm taking a stand.
- Against who, my best friend?

- Yes, for my best friend.

- Go to the damn barbecue.

I seriously don't care.
- See, jake?

He's good.
If he doesn't have a problem

With it, why should you?
- He's not good.

He's barely using any product

And his hair is limp.
And that face?

It's not a happy one.

So you have fun at the barbecue.
I'm not going.

- ♪ I'm changing everything
because I can ♪

- ♪ whoa-oh
- ♪ I'm livin' up a new life ♪

- Sorry, man.
I tried.

- Our babies would look like
little channing tatums.

I wonder if they'll be able
to dance.

[gasps]
or strip.

- What is your obsession
with austin?

You don't even know him.

- He's hot.
That's all I need to know.

Beside, if you don't want
to date him,

Why can't I?

- Of course I don't want
to date him.

I couldn't even fit
in his jeans.

[phone beeps]

Hey, it's me.

No, I don't miss you.
I don't even think about you.

You're going out
with my friend Saturday.

- [squeals]
yay!

- I know you're excited
about this party,

But don't feel like you have
to do this.

Your friends might need
some time to adjust.

- What they need
is time with you.

- I don't want them feeling
pressure to take sides.

- Trust me,
no one is taking sides.

- I'm totally on your side.

- Mom?
Can I see you in the kitchen?

- I think you can see me
just fine right here.

- You cannot hang out
with matty.

- I am not hanging out
with matty.

He's...

Hanging out with me.
- But you're my mom.

Don't you see what's wrong
with this picture?

If you're gonna take sides,
it has to be mine,

Which means you have to break up
with matty too.

- We had something special,

And I want you to know,
it meant a lot to me.

- Me too.
- And I hate having to do this.

- So don't.
- I have to.

Our timing is just--
[sighs]--off.

But I don't want to lose you
as a friend,

But I have to.
You should know,

It's not you, it's me.

Actually, it's jenna.
- I'm gonna go.

Good-bye, mrs. Hamilton.

- Matty, wait!

Take these to remember me by.

- Iron fist here?
- No one is.

Should I be worried?
- No.

You should be kissed.

- Whoa-ho.

Hi, collin.

- Mr. Hamilton.
How are you, sir?

- Good.
Just manning the grill.

Taking my time
with the burgers.

Cooking them real slow.

You gotta cook 'em
real, real slow...

So nothing gets burned.

- ♪ I was living all
in my mind ♪

- Jenna sure is going through
boys fast.

- Mm, it must be so weird
for you.

All those taut,
masculine bodies

Parading through the house

In low-hanging board shorts
and tank tops.

- They're just boys.

- Yeah, but the age gap
is rapidly closing.

I'm sure you can't help but
to find yourself attracted

To the ones that have moved
into their man bodies.

- Oh, I can help it.

- Hi, ms. Hamilton.

Ms. Marks.

- Hey.
- Where are you two going?

- To a barbecue.
- Oh.

I thought you didn't
like barbecues.

- Oh, I never said that.

But since you're so
into barbecues,

And they're
so important to you,

I thought
I'd give them a shot.

- [whispering]
they're talking about you.

- I would love it
if you both could stay.

- Why, thank you, collin.
We will.

- Great.
- Such a sweetie.

Feel free to change into
your board shorts at any time.

- He's no matty.
- Not even close.

To matty.

- I can't believe you just
made me sit through that movie.

- I can't believe I made myself
sit through it.

Why do people think
anne hathaway is a good actress?

- Hmm, she's sexy.

- I know it's common knowledge,

But you have terrible taste
in women...

Except for devon!

And you should
get on that asap.

- Yeah, maybe I will.

You know, you don't have
to distract me all afternoon.

It's just a stupid barbecue.

I can handle it.
[phone chirps]

- Actually,
you're distracting me.

"dexter" is still calling
and texting me

A billion times a day.
- Oh.

Wow, yeah, he's hot.

And you like him.

- I do not.

- Then why is his picture
in your phone?

- The psycho put it in there.

- Yeah, but you didn't
delete it.

- Whatever.

He's into lissa.

- Then why is he texting you?

- Anyone seen my phone?

[bleep]!
Jenna is gonna think

We're showing up late
on purpose.

- Aren't we?
- Forget about your phone.

Let's get this
over with already.

- Do you think
I want to do this?

- You made it pretty clear
that you did yesterday.

- I punched collin
in the face,

And had to keep the secret
about their affair.

I really don't want to go.

- You knew about jenna
cheating on matty

Before her party
and you didn't tell me?

- I was sworn to secrecy.

- Matty is my best friend.

I could have
warned him so that

He didn't have to be made
an ass of in front of everyone.

Jenna humiliated him,
the way that she humiliated me.

- Why do you keep
bringing that up?

- Oh, I'm done bringing it up.

You'll never hear it
from me again...

Or anything else
for that matter.

[door slams]
- [crying]

- So no barbecue?

- With tamara involved,

I knew my friends
would be fashionably late.

But, after an hour,
they were bordering

On fashionably
missing my party,

Which had already been
downgraded to a lame cookout...

[door sliding]

Because no one under 30
had shown up.

- Where are all the hotties?
- Hot dogs.

She means hot dogs.

- Jenna, I've got to take
these burgers off.

Any more fire and they'll
be cremated.

- Let's just wait
for everybody else.

- [grunts]

No one was answering
the front door.

Sorry I'm late.
- No worries.

Where's ming?
- We drove separately.

You know, the huangs.
So overprotective.

Ming texted.
They're running late.

- How late?
[phone whooshes]

- They're not coming.

- I can't believe they bailed.

- Jenna, put yourself
in their shoes.

You're asking them
to hang out with the guy

Who broke up their friends.

- I'm sorry.
- Don't be.

They don't have to like me.

Hey, come here.

The only person I care
who likes me is you.

- Why can't they be happy
that I'm happy?

- They'll come around.
- And if they don't?

- Time will tell.

There are some friends who roll
with the punches,

And some
who are hand slappers.

My grandmother says it.

It's like when a kid
does something they shouldn't,

And you slap their hand.
It doesn't hurt,

But it sends a message.

- Oh, you're wrong.
It does hurt.

Do you think that's what
this is about?

- Maybe.

I don't want to come
between you and your friends,

So if you need us to take
a step back, we can.

- No.

I just need
to talk to them.

- Okay.
Well, I'm around.

If you need me, just call.

- I had been holding back
my feelings,

But it was time
to get them out.

- It's tamara.
You know what to do.

- One way or another.

[phone chirps]
- [giggles]

- What the hell was that?

You laughed.

And not at him--
with him.

You really like him.
- Shut up.

- Why don't you go for it?

- Because it would never work.

Because my life sucks,

And nothing good
ever happens to me.

- Your life sucks?
Try being me for a day.

- [scoffs]

You wanna go there,
mckibben?

Because I will
win this suck-fest.

- No way.

My girlfriend
cheated on me,

And I found out
along with a dozen

Of my closest friends.

And I want to beat
the crap out of the guy,

But I can't,
because everyone expects me

To be the dick
in this situation,

And I refuse
to give them the satisfaction.

- My boyfriend
cheated on me with a dude,

Then screwed my best friend
and then died,

And everybody
thought I killed him.

Not done yet.

Then my parents went broke,

So we had
to sell the house, the cars,

And now they're divorcing.

And the dung icing
on my crap cupcake--

My dad auctioned
off my beloved horse,

Priscilla,
queen of the desert.

- You win.
Your life does suck.

[both laugh]

And that's why you gotta
give this guy a shot.

But if you're too much
of a pussy to make a move,

I will,
because that is one sexy dude.

[phone beeps]

- Liss,
you can't date austin.

Turns out
he's seeing someone else.

Me.

- I never want to see
his stupid face again!

He is such a jerk.

His mom should have
named him jerk rosati.

- You are such
a drama-natrix.

Tell him you're sorry
and move on.

- Oh, no.

We are so late
for jenna's party.

She is gonna kill us.

- No, I already texted fred,
like, a half hour ago

To tell her
we're not coming.

[phone chiming]
someone's text-bombing.

They're from jenna.

Whoa.
- What?

[gasps]
- it just keeps coming.

[phones chiming]

- "you are immature
and unevolved,

And can't be happy
because I'm happy"?

- I seriously have skull shock.
What's a hand slapper?

- We've gotta call her.

[phone beeps]
- now you call.

- We can explain.
- [scoffs]

Actions speak
way louder than words.

- I don't know about that.
Your text was pretty loud.

- Oh, so now you're gonna
blame this on me?

- Hey, jake and I had
a huge fight because of you.

- Well, you and jake
wouldn't even be together

If it weren't for me.
- How do you figure that?

- Because most friends
wouldn't be cool

With their friends
dating their exes,

And you did it two seconds
after jake and I broke up.

- I would have
never done it

If I didn't think
you were okay with it.

- Well, I wasn't.
But I guess you couldn't

Get your own guy,
so you had to go

For my sloppy seconds.

[bleep] not cool, j.

- Of course
you would side with her, ming.

You're such a follower.

- I'm out.

- Were they serving
"cray" poupon at your barbecue?

'cause you're acting insane.

- No, "insane"
is blowing off my party

And not even
bothering to call.

- This is not you.

You are not just changing
the way you dress.

You're changing
your personality for this guy.

And you can't
even see it.

- What you can't see is that
you are disloyal backstabbers,

And you are totally
taking sides.

- Actually, that's not true.

We weren't taking sides,
but we are now.

And we are not on yours.

- Fine!

- Things had been said
that I knew

Couldn't be taken back.

And I realized going to 11
on the freak-ometer

Didn't help anything,
but I knew what would.

It was time for me to embrace
a new kind of change.

If my friends
were going to take sides...

[hard rock music]

♪

Then I would too.

- ♪ eyes

♪ tell a lot tonight

- Next, on awkward...
- That's not jenna.

That's the girl
that cheated on you.

Not to mention,
that girl almost got arrested.

- Is matty dating
someone new?

- You don't get to ask
who matty's dating.

- But her name is devon.
Are you devon-stated?

- People break up,
but your friends are supposed

To stay on your side.
- You're starting to fixate.

- I had finally left my head
and was starting to process

And was starting
to process

How far we'd gotten
in collin's bed.
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