Original subtitles

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(UP-TEMPO MUSIC)

(APPLAUSE, CHEERING)

Bonsoir. And hello there, ladies and gentlemans.

Welcome to The Jacques Culot Show.

- I am Jacques Culot. - (AUDIENCE CHEERS)

And today on our show we have a world traveler, adventurer,

explorer, a real travel bug, Lamor Piot.

Or, as he is known in English, Buster "The Body" Crab.

(SNIFFING)

Hello there, Buster. You are Canadian, that you are?

(SNIFFING DEEPLY)

Eh?

(ROCK MUSIC)

Wow, man!

- You are Canadian? - Eh?

♪ Ooh, how I love you

♪ Marijuana, marijuana

(ROCK MUSIC)

MAN: Ow!

Hey, man.

(SHOUTING) Ow.

JACQUE: Buster, I think you left, some of your friends here.

Buster? I said Buster.

Buster, I think that...

♪ Cruise lower than the bottom of my rims

♪ I cruise down Whittier lookin' for some trim

♪ Hey chica hermosa are you new to the scene?

♪ I got the love machine right here in my jeans

♪ Let me clear off a place for you to sit

(GROANING)

Hey... want a ride, man?

Hey, man, come on in. What's happening?

- Hey. Hey, close that door. - Yeah, man.

Hey, man, as soon as that light change we'll go.

Yeah, thanks a lot for stopping.

That's cool, man. Hey, I pick up hippies hitchhiking all the time, man.

- Far out, man. - Hey, hey, you like my car, man?

Oh, yeah, man. I really like the dingle balls, man.

I put it in myself, man.

Hey, man, did you notice the name as you came in here?

- The name, man? - Yeah, the name of the car.

- Oh, no. I didn't notice. - It's La Bamba.

(UP-TEMPO MUSIC)

(SHOUTING)

(GRUNTS)

MAN: Hey, hey, man.

Hey, come on, man.

Oh, hey, man. Like wow, man.

Hey, man. How far you going?

To the end of the block, man. You know.

Oh, hey, man. Take it easy, man.

You act like you've got some dope on you, man.

Hey, you don't got no dope on you, do you?

Oh, no, man. I never carry that shit, man.

Well, if you don't, man, I do. Here. Light this up.

Oh, far out, man.

It's really good stuff too, man.

Hey, you know, like I was telling you before, man,

I always pick up people you see hitchhiking, you know, man?

Because nowadays, you know, nobody's got a car, man, or money.

You know, so if you've got something, man, you share it with other guys.

You know? And you, I mean, everybody shares stuff nowadays.

You know what I mean? Like if you don't...

- ...if you don't... - (MAN INHALING QUICKLY)

I said everybody shares stuff, man!

(STAMMERING)

Oh, hey, man, I'll ring it out for you, man.

Shit, man, you've got no class.

Hey, well, let's get stoned, huh? Here you go.

(INHALING DEEPLY)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Hey, man. Hate to bug you or anything, man,

but do you want to open up your eyes for a minute, man, you know?

- (SPUTTERING) - Like you just drove through

- a red light, man. - (CARS HONKING)

Hey, where are we, man?

Oh, well, don't stop here, man. Now come on.

This is the middle of the intersection.

- Oh, hey. - Oh, wow.

MAN 2: Hey, man. Tell you what, I'll stop twice at the next one. OK?

Hey, listen, man. Do you want me to drive? You know.

No, man. I'm cool. Tell you what, I'll only go five miles an hour, OK?

We won't attract attention that way.

Hey, red. Oh, hey, look at the lights.

(LAUGHING) Hey, man. Look at that one blinking on and off.

"Don't walk. Don't walk."

Look there's a blue one over there.

Oh, look at that green one!

Hey, man, look at that red one in the mirror there.

Oh, hey, man, the cops are behind us.

No! Don't turn around, man! Just sit there and act natural.

Oh, man.

Hey, they're still behind us, man. Why don't you get rid of that stuff, OK?

I'm getting rid of it, man. (INHALING)

No, man. Not that way. Eat it, man!

Oh, man. I can't eat it. I've got a whole pocketful man.

Hey, man! They're right behind us.

They're getting closer. Oh, shit, man.

Here, eat these too.

Come on man, they're getting closer. Oh, shit man. Here, here, down these.

- Hey, man. I can't eat all these reds. - Hey, come on, man. Get them down.

Just put the wine in the glove compartment.

Please don't get us! Oh, hey, man. Oh, man.

They just turned on the red light, man! Here! Drop this acid!

There goes the siren, man!

(UNINTELLIGIBLE)

(LAUGHING)

Hey, man. Guess what? It was only an ambulance.

- Hey, light up another one. - (ROCK MUSIC)

(SCREAMING)

♪ I'm a pretty boy

♪ I enjoy lattes with soy

(MUFFLED SHOUTING)

Hey, man. Two more cars and we're there. Better tell those guys to be quiet.

Hey, you guys! Be quiet, man!

We're almost at the ticket thing.

Hey, man. One more car.

Hey, shut up, you guys! Hey, man! Shut up! Here comes the dude!

Hey, man. Be quiet. Here he comes.

- Hi! - How many tonight?

Oh, how many tickets?

Well, there's just me and him. We're just here together,

and, I mean, like we're not together, you know, like that way...

Like, I mean, we're like, we're gonna meet some girls inside, man.

You know, like pick them up, you know.

So I guess there's just me and him, like...

- (CARS HONKING) - So one for him and one for me.

Well, that's two. We'll take two tickets.

Ain't that right, man?

What's the hassle, man?

- There's no hassle, man. Just... - Hey, are you giving us a hassle, man?

- MAN 2: He ain't giving us no hassle. - There's no only two of us! That's all.

Yeah, that's right. There's only two of us.

- That will be one dollar. - MAN 2: Oh, a dollar.

Hey, man. You got fifty cents?

There you go. Thank you, man.

Hey, we did it, man.

Man, we were so slick, man.

Hey, you're really a smooth talker, man.

Man, you've just got to know how to lay it on them dudes, man.

Hey, you're Mr. Cool when you want to be, aren't you?

Old cucumber head, they call me, man.

Hey, come o