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1
00:00:02,070 --> 00:00:03,571
(Tires squealing)
2
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:08,676
Woman:
Archer. An all new season.
3
00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:10,744
Thursday, march 31 on fx.
4
00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:16,450
Fxx presents it's always
sunny in Philadelphia.
5
00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:22,599
Dennis: All right, so there
we were. We're in the brig
6
00:00:22,623 --> 00:00:23,667
and the whole ship just,
you know, bumps.
7
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:25,193
We get thrown against the wall.
8
00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:26,770
Yeah.
You know,
the-the lights are going off.
9
00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:28,562
The sirens are blaring.
Whoa, whoa.
10
00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:30,107
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
11
00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:31,875
How did we get in the
brig in the first place?
12
00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:33,243
What do you mean, frank?
You were there.
13
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:34,768
I'm very cloudy
about the beginning.
14
00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:36,170
I think I need a recap.
15
00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:38,005
Recap?
A recap would be good, you know?
16
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,583
Just to kind of brush up
on everything that happened.
17
00:00:39,607 --> 00:00:41,075
A recap...
Now, see, I forgot that.
18
00:00:41,109 --> 00:00:42,552
Honestly might be good
because, you know,
19
00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:43,687
we want him
to be completely clear
20
00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:44,845
before the final judgment.
21
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,347
All right, you know,
right, yeah.
22
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:47,591
The amount of energy
we're using talking
23
00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:48,892
about whether
or not we should recap,
24
00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:50,427
we may as well just recap,
so fine, fine.
25
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:51,928
So there we were.
We're on a Christian cruise.
26
00:00:51,952 --> 00:00:53,097
Yeah, we were all thrown
in the brig
27
00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:54,464
for various sins
that we committed.
28
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:56,457
Me, admittedly,
for a little bit of lust.
29
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:57,934
Um, and in summation,
we're all good people,
30
00:00:57,958 --> 00:00:59,093
asking for forgiveness,
31
00:00:59,127 --> 00:01:00,361
my thing, not a rape.
32
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,029
Move on; You're
losing him.
33
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,440
Move on; You're losing him.
I just want to be clear.
34
00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:05,184
Okay, yeah, yeah.
I just wanted to be clear.
35
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:29,590
(Alarm blaring)
36
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:31,459
(Thunder crashes)
37
00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:32,826
What the hell is that?
38
00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:33,827
What're those sirens for?
39
00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:35,963
Oh, my god, oh, my god.
40
00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:38,132
See, I knew I shouldn't
have come on this cruise.
41
00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:41,269
I knew it! I mean, it used to be
i would never even leave Philly!
42
00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:42,979
And then, you know,
you guys drag me into this,
43
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:45,273
you drag me into that,
and next thing I know,
44
00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:48,176
i-I'm stuck in a box
on a sinking ship!
45
00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:50,187
Hold on, the boat's not sinking.
How do you know that?
46
00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:51,288
How do you know it's not...?
47
00:01:51,312 --> 00:01:52,280
(Alarm stops)
48
00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:53,747
Well... oh.
49
00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:55,316
There you go. It stopped.
50
00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:57,151
All right, uh,
i guess that's good.
51
00:01:57,185 --> 00:01:59,520
I mean, like...
Like, if something went wrong,
52
00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:01,755
they-they'd come down here,
they'd get us, right?
53
00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:03,133
You know what, guys,
what difference does it make?
54
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:04,258
You know?
55
00:02:04,292 --> 00:02:05,859
Life is just a series of events
56
00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:08,496
with no meaning or plan,
you know?
57
00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:10,264
It's like, we live, we die,
58
00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:13,667
we're gay, we're straight,
we're tops, we're bottoms.
59
00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:15,636
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Calm down, everybody.
60
00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:18,038
We're gonna be
in the Bahamas in an hour.
61
00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:20,874
Well, you sure? Like, I...
I don't think we're moving.
62
00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:23,811
We're moving. I can hear
the engine buzzing like crazy.
63
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:25,813
No, I think Charlie's right.
64
00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:28,115
I-i don't think that we're
moving, and-and besides,
65
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,451
the buzzing would be,
like, an electrical system.
66
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,453
You know?
The engine sounds more like...
67
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,555
(Imitating a motor boat)
68
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:36,300
Yeah, maybe on a speedboat.
This is a big cruise ship.
69
00:02:36,324 --> 00:02:38,492
It's got like a big,
deep sound; It's like a...
70
00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:41,995
(Imitating engine starting)
71
00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:43,373
Yeah, if you're starting
the engine, but, like,
72
00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:45,165
we would be hearing a steady...
73
00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:46,800
Gah, gah, gah, gah,
gah, gah, gah, gah...
74
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,236
Dennis: No, you
guys are all wrong.
75
00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:50,504
No, boats are mostly
computerized these days,
76
00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:52,249
so the engine barely
makes any noise at all.
77
00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:54,308
I mean, they-they make
a fake noise
78
00:02:54,342 --> 00:02:57,378
to-to make people feel better,
but it's like... (Deep humming)
79
00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:59,323
But it's fake, it's not...
It's not real, you know?
80
00:02:59,347 --> 00:03:01,157
It's kind of like how I carry
a little piece of onion
81
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,816
around with me to elicit tears,
you know,
82
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,552
in case someone needs me
to feel something
83
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:06,854
about what they said or
are doing, you know what I mean?
84
00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:09,690
Do you have an onion
in your pocket right now?
No.
85
00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:12,360
No, I'm taking
a vacation from myself.
86
00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:14,228
W-was it a vacation
from hearing, okay?
87
00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:16,730
'Cause if the engine was going,
we would hear a gah, gah, gah,
88
00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:18,732
gah, gah, gah, gah...
Are you deaf, Charlie?
89
00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:21,702
I was like...
(Imitating motor boat)
90
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:25,606
(All doing different
engine imitations)
91
00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:33,189
All right, okay, all right!
I mean, that's ridiculous!
92
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,424
All right, all right, all right!
93
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:36,284
Goddamn! Okay, look.
94
00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:38,085
Let's just, let's all agree
95
00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:39,720
that it doesn't sound
like a speedboat
96
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:41,064
or something
that's off-roading, all right?
97
00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:42,690
It does make a little
bit of a buzz.
98
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,258
Yeah?
99
00:03:44,292 --> 00:03:45,635
But most modern ships
these days, their engines,
100
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,027
they don't make a lot of noise,
101
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,272
but they do make
a little bit of noise.
102
00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:49,863
Can we all just agree on this?
103
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,699
Yeah.
Dee: Fine.
Fine, I can live with that.
104
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:52,776
Fine, I can live with it.
Fine.
105
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,735
Okay, all right.
(Groans)
106
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:55,945
How long have we been
talking about this?
107
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:58,739
Four hours, six minutes.
108
00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:00,374
(Frank whistles, groans)
109
00:04:00,408 --> 00:04:03,444
Well, there's some pros
and some cons, guys.
110
00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:06,580
Pro: We've cut our conflict
resolution time in half.
111
00:04:06,614 --> 00:04:08,649
Four hours, that's good for us.
112
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:10,484
That's-that's huge,
that's huge.
Good work.
113
00:04:10,518 --> 00:04:13,387
Con: Charlie's right,
the ship is probably not moving
114
00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:15,989
because we definitely would've
been in the Bahamas by now.
115
00:04:16,023 --> 00:04:17,391
What?
116
00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:19,560
Yep.
Oh.
117
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,495
Well, that's not good, right?
I mean...
118
00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:22,663
No. It's not good.
119
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:25,232
I mean, f-four hours?
120
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,734
Well...
The-the boat not moving!
121
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,569
No one comes down
to say anything like,
122
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,447
"hey, guys, there's something
wrong with the ship!"
123
00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:32,973
No, they've forgotten about us!
124
00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:34,951
And we're gonna die in here!
Oh, my god, I'm freaking out.
125
00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:36,653
We got to get out
of here. Help!
Whoa, whoa, Charlie, Charlie.
126
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:37,645
Calm down, Charlie.
Help!
127
00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:39,012
Help us!
Charlie!
128
00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:40,614
You got to help!
Hey! Hey!
129
00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:43,150
Oi, oi, oi, oi,
oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi!
130
00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:45,085
Mm, yep, yep, yep. Mm.
131
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,320
Wow.
Yeah?
132
00:04:46,354 --> 00:04:47,488
Yep.
Oi, oi, oi.
133
00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:48,756
What-what was that, dude?
134
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,424
You sound like
a soccer hooligan.
135
00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:52,001
Uh, yeah, that's just something
I've been doing
136
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,470
with Charlie lately
when he gets a little wound up.
137
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:54,995
You know, it seems to work.
138
00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:56,630
Say yup, yup, yup.
Frank:
Oh, that's good.
139
00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:58,332
The most important thing
for us to do now
140
00:04:58,366 --> 00:04:59,933
is to keep our wits together.
141
00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:01,311
We got to occupy ourselves.
Mm-hmm.
142
00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:03,671
Why don't we play a few games?
143
00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:05,482
No, no! I just wanted to
get away from you guys,
144
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:07,140
just for a few days.
145
00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:08,609
Now we're stuck in a box,
146
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:09,953
and you're gonna play
some games now?
147
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:12,613
You know what? I'm out.
148
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:13,981
What?
149
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:15,454
What the hell
do you mean you're out?
150
00:05:15,483 --> 00:05:17,818
I'm out.
Nobody talk to me.
Mac:
No, Dee.
151
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,219
That's not a very good idea.
152
00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:20,997
You know, when my dad was
in solitary confinement,
153
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:23,657
I used to write to him
every day to see how it was.
154
00:05:23,691 --> 00:05:26,193
He never wrote back, but if
he did, he would've said,
155
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:28,729
"son, you've got to keep
your mind active.
156
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,798
Also, I love you."
157
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,208
Dennis: Uh, are you
sure he wouldn't say,
158
00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:35,202
"remind me who you are again"?
159
00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:37,304
Ho!
(Laughing)
160
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,172
That was great!
That was Luther!
161
00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:40,974
My-my-my dad
knows who I am.
Yeah-yeah.
162
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,486
Hey-hey, do the voice
again, but this time say,
163
00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:43,977
"i love you, son."
Nah.
164
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,379
Oh.
But, no, that's
165
00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:47,581
a good distraction,
like, um, you know,
166
00:05:47,615 --> 00:05:49,726
like any kind of impressions
you got, like any kind of...
167
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:51,260
You want to hear me do
a couple of impressions?
168
00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:52,829
That'd be fun. Yeah,
okay, so let's see.
169
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,598
All right, so let me know
which ones you want to hear.
170
00:05:54,622 --> 00:05:56,890
I'm sorry, Dee, I thought
you were sitting out.
171
00:05:56,924 --> 00:05:59,059
Well, I was out, but then
these guys wanted to hear
172
00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:01,405
some impressions, and since I'm
always wanting to be of service,
173
00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:03,697
here I am, uh...
They don't want to
hear your impressions.
174
00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:04,908
They want to hear
my impressions.
No.
175
00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:06,009
Your impressions are terrible.
176
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:07,701
Are you out of your mind?
No.
177
00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:09,102
My impressions are fantastic.
178
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:11,204
Give me somebody.
Anybody.
179
00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:12,706
Do Obama.
180
00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:14,675
Obama?
Well, I can't do that.
181
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,352
Why not?
Yeah.
Dennis: Why can't you do Obama?
182
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,121
'Cause he's a black man
and I'm a white woman.
183
00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:19,547
Can you give me a white woman?
184
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:21,415
You think I can't
do a black woman?
185
00:06:21,449 --> 00:06:22,416
(Laughs):
I mean...
186
00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:23,451
No.
187
00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:25,218
I... okay, give me, name one.
188
00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:28,188
C.C.H. Pounder.
189
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,890
Who's that?
C.C.H. Poun...
190
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,391
Yeah. The actress
from the shield.
191
00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:32,465
Love that show.
Okay, yeah.
192
00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:33,527
No, I can do that.
Yeah.
193
00:06:33,561 --> 00:06:35,763
Let's see.
194
00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:37,541
(Imitating c.C.H. Pounder):
Goddamn it, Dutch!
195
00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:40,901
What other errands do you
have us running for the d.A.?
196
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,470
Both: Wow!
Frank:
Holy shit!
197
00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:44,438
That was great!
198
00:06:44,472 --> 00:06:45,473
That was spot-on!
199
00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:46,774
Thanks, man.
"Spot-on"?
200
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:48,542
You don't even know
who she is, frank.
201
00:06:48,576 --> 00:06:50,377
I just assumed
she's a no-nonsense
202
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,713
black broad from the precinct.
203
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,123
Dennis:
That's exactly who she is.
That's exactly who she is.
204
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:55,415
(All clamoring)
205
00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:57,417
Fine, fine, fine.
I'll do Obama, okay?
206
00:06:57,451 --> 00:06:58,486
Okay.
207
00:06:58,519 --> 00:06:59,787
Okay, what do you got?
208
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,254
Hey, yo, what up, son?
209
00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:02,590
What's up wit'
congress bein' all
210
00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:03,800
up in my ass and shit, brother?
211
00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:05,058
Oh!
Oh!
212
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,302
Oh, my god, Dee.
Frank: That is bad!
213
00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:07,427
What are you doing?
214
00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:08,762
That was so racist.
215
00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:11,131
Are you kidding me?!
Charlie:
Very racist!
216
00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:12,942
Deandra, he is the president
of the United States.
217
00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:14,310
That's our president.
Dee: Well, hold on a second.
218
00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:17,070
Why was that racist,
but what he did was fine?
219
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:20,140
Because that's not what Obama
sounds like, Dee. That's why.
220
00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:23,644
Uh... okay, well, you know,
i-I'm just warming up.
221
00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:26,614
Let me, let me try again.
Um...
222
00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:29,116
Hey, yo,
where my senators at, dawg?
223
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:30,183
Oh!
Oh!
224
00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:31,251
Oi, oi, oi, oi!
225
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,364
Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi!
226
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:40,293
Welcome to my first ever
dinner party.
227
00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:42,167
I'm gonna have lots
of these types of functions
228
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:44,632
in the future, you know,
with my new lifestyle.
(Chuckles)
229
00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,275
Wow, you're really just diving
right into that, huh?
230
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,968
Just, stereotypes and all.
231
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,538
Guys, we are gonna have
an imaginary meal.
Mmm.
232
00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,773
I read about this. Yes.
233
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,375
If you truly believe it,
then it will make you full.
That's true.
234
00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:57,845
Okay.
Can I have a broad
with me with big tits?
235
00:07:57,878 --> 00:07:59,513
No, because that's
gonna force us
236
00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:01,124
to imagine things
that we don't want to imagine.
237
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:02,458
Ah, good point.
So get rid of my dog?
238
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,483
Yeah, no dogs.
239
00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:05,018
Go! Go!
Hey, get out of here!
240
00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:07,220
Don't kick it.
Get, get, get!
Kick it in the skull.
241
00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:08,732
We do not allow dogs
in our house, right, Dennis?
242
00:08:08,756 --> 00:08:10,123
Don't kick the dog.
243
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:11,300
Wh...? Our house?
Wh-why's it our house?
244
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,526
Okay, let's get started.
245
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,294
Let me... let me set
the scene: The food.
246
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,339
The menu. Okay, all right.
Ooh, yeah, start with the...
247
00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:18,174
Yeah, yeah,
let's get to it.
Okay, all right, here we go.
248
00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:20,043
Paint a nice picture for us,
all right? I'm starving, man.
249
00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:21,344
All right, now
you're gonna start
250
00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:23,003
with, like, a big
hunk of chicken.
251
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:26,073
You know, like, boiled and
skinless, or-or whatever.
252
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:28,475
Charlie: Huh.
Ugh.
Dennis: Okay.
253
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,311
And then, um, you're gonna want
brown with the white, right?
254
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:34,548
So, like, maybe, like, um,
some, like, brown rice.
255
00:08:34,582 --> 00:08:35,916
No... no butter
256
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:37,585
or-or seasoning or...
257
00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:38,586
Really?
258
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,320
I want mashed potatoes.
259
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,731
No, no mashed potatoes;
That's just empty carbs.
260
00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:43,166
Why can't we just imagine
whatever we want?
261
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,558
Because this is my dinner party.
262
00:08:44,592 --> 00:08:46,359
Well, then take us there!
Yeah!
263
00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:47,695
All right! All right, okay.
264
00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:48,696
Everybody's got
something to drink.
265
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:49,697
Is it a milkshake?
266
00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:50,698
No!
267
00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:52,165
No, not milkshakes.
268
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,667
Gatorade.
269
00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:54,902
And it's gonna be
270
00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:56,536
my favorite flavor: Blue.
271
00:08:56,570 --> 00:08:58,538
"Blue" is not a flavor.
272
00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:00,440
How am I gonna taste blue?
273
00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:02,710
Well, just imagine
what blue tastes like.
274
00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:04,053
It does... it just
tastes like blue.
275
00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:05,288
Let's just dig in.
Yeah, can we eat?
276
00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:06,279
Charlie:
Yeah, can we eat?
277
00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:07,280
All right.
Yes.
278
00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:08,949
*
279
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:11,451
Frank:
All right.
280
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:14,287
Mine's kind of tough.
281
00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:15,522
D-did you overcook this?
282
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,124
No, I didn't cook it at all.
283
00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:18,626
Y-you... (Spits)
284
00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:20,628
Spit it out! It's raw!
You're gonna get sick!
285
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,271
Spit it out, man,
spit it out!
No, no, don't spit it out!
286
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:24,464
What are you guys doing?
You don't need to spit it out.
287
00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:25,966
For the love of god.
288
00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:27,276
Look, just imagine
that it tastes good, okay?
289
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:28,736
Look at Dennis, see?
290
00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:31,138
Oh, I'm not...
I'm not imagining your meal.
291
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:34,141
No, I'm imagining
a lovely coq au vin.
292
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:36,443
Braised with lardons
and mushrooms.
293
00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:37,945
I want that!
Yeah.
294
00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:39,555
Well, then have it...
It's right in front of you.
295
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:40,814
As is your buxom date, frank.
296
00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:42,249
Ah, come here, baby.
297
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:43,617
Oh, hey!
298
00:09:43,651 --> 00:09:45,753
She got her foot
in my raw chicken!
299
00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:47,731
Get your hooker's foot
out of my chicken, man!
No, no, no, no.
300
00:09:47,755 --> 00:09:49,432
No dates, no coq au vin,
no hookers.
Get it out of my chicken!
301
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:51,124
Stop ruining this!
I'm not ruining it.
302
00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:52,793
(Imitates buzzing)
303
00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:54,427
What the hell is that?!
304
00:09:54,461 --> 00:09:55,829
Oh, this? It's the sound
305
00:09:55,863 --> 00:09:57,264
of my blender
cranking milkshakes.
306
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,667
Anybody want one?
(Resumes buzzing)
307
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:01,845
Shit, I'll take
a milkshake. Yeah.
I'll have a
milkshake... that sounds good.
308
00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:04,113
Frank: I'll take one.
That is not what
blenders sound like, Dee.
309
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:05,739
No! Don't leave my table! Crash!
310
00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:07,174
Hey!
What are you doing?
311
00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:09,910
I'm flipping the table!
Smash! Crash!
Oh!
312
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:12,179
Now I'm breaking a plate!
Boom! Smash!
Oh, man.
313
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:13,947
Dennis:
What the hell, dude?!
314
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:15,324
Oh, that was really
uncalled for.
That's nice.
315
00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:16,750
Nothing is working, all right?
316
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:18,127
You know what,
i want you guys to just...
317
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:19,586
Everybody just be quiet.
318
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,364
Why don't we just try
not talking for a while?
319
00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:23,023
I'm fine with that.
320
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:24,424
Yeah.
321
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,493
Well, that'll be
the first time ever.
322
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:33,867
(Ship creaking)
323
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,013
(Coin clinks)
324
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:47,180
(Sniffs)
325
00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:48,381
(Coin clinks)
326
00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:50,050
(Grunts)
(Groans)
327
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,319
(Coin clinks,
hands smack rhythmically)
328
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:53,453
Shh!
Of course.
329
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:55,488
(Coin clinking,
hands smacking rhythmically)
330
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:56,724
(Frank grunting to rhythm)
331
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:01,461
Yeah.
332
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:04,497
(Rhythmic noises continue)
333
00:11:05,232 --> 00:11:06,934
Okay.
334
00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:19,512
Mac:
Okay.
335
00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:22,515
Mac:
Okay.
336
00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:27,888
All:
Ha!
337
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:29,689
(Chuckles)
338
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:32,893
Well, that was lame.
339
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,327
So stupid.
So stu...
340
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:35,829
I hated that show, stomp.
341
00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:37,440
Ugh, I hate rhythm.
H-h-hang on. Hang on.
342
00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:38,732
D-Dee, what was that?
343
00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:40,367
Well, i-i thought
we were all doing,
344
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:41,677
like, a stomp thing
or something.
345
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,079
That-that bench,
you opened that bench.
346
00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:44,504
What's inside there?
Oh.
347
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:45,873
That opens?
Yes.
348
00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:47,074
Maybe there's food in there.
349
00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:48,075
Is there food in there?
350
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:49,276
Uh, no, just...
351
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:50,944
Just this water gun.
352
00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:52,946
That's not a water gun,
man, that's a flare gun,
353
00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:54,390
which I'll hold onto
for safekeeping.
354
00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:56,249
Uh...
355
00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:58,118
Why?
356
00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:00,120
Well, because I'm the
most responsible person.
357
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:02,398
Uh, guys, guys, i-i don't think
any of us should have a gun.
358
00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:03,390
Yeah.
Yeah.
359
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:07,394
Well, one of us does, so...
360
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:08,896
The end.
361
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,764
Charlie, Charlie,
let me have the gun.
362
00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:12,608
Back up, frank.
Don't come close to me.
Whoa, cha...
363
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:13,801
Charlie, calm down.
364
00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:15,102
"Calm down, Charlie"?
365
00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:17,771
We're trapped
on a sinking ship, okay?
366
00:12:17,805 --> 00:12:19,139
We're gonna die in here.
367
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:20,812
I don't know what you guys
are capable of.
368
00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:22,810
I will hold the gun,
thank you very much.
369
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:25,979
Wait a second, Charlie, the...
The boat's not sinking, okay?
370
00:12:26,013 --> 00:12:27,723
It's-it's just stopped.
Right. Right, it's okay.
371
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,549
Everything's gonna be all right
372
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:30,984
as long as everybody
remains calm.
373
00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:33,153
What the hell is that?
374
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:34,187
(Loud rumbling)
375
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:41,428
(Groaning)
Dee: Oh, my god!
376
00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:42,796
What's going on?
377
00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:44,464
Wh-what was that?
378
00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:47,300
Oh, this is bad.
379
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:48,301
This is really bad.
380
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:49,336
All right.
381
00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:50,838
Let's think.
382
00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:52,672
If the room's on its side,
383
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:55,075
does that mean the boat's
on its side? Or...
384
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,310
Yeah, that's what it means!
What are you talking about?!
385
00:12:57,344 --> 00:12:59,346
I don't know how boats
this big work. All right.
386
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:02,950
(All yelling for help)
387
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:05,118
Help us!
This is bad!
388
00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:07,187
This is very bad!
389
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,965
All right, we got to get up
there and try that door again.
390
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:11,091
Maybe that lodged
something loose.
391
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,026
Get up there? How are
we supposed to reach?
392
00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:14,862
Oh! What about
a human pyramid?
393
00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:16,864
Yes. Yes, Mac, a
human pyramid.
394
00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:18,374
All right, you and i
will be the bottoms.
395
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:19,967
Why? 'Cause I'm gay?
396
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,369
(Sighs) No, not because
you're gay, dumb-ass!
397
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:24,171
Because we're the strongest.
398
00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:25,939
Goddamn it.
All right, and,
frank, Charlie,
399
00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:27,274
you'll be on us.
400
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,684
And, Dee, you'll be
on the very top.
401
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,377
Dee: Okay.
Okay, I'll be a bottom now,
402
00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:32,388
but in real life, just to
be clear, I'm gonna be a top.
403
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:35,382
Okay, fine, when you're having
gay sex, you can be on the top.
404
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:36,984
But for now we're on the bottom.
405
00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:39,219
Damn it, the door is locked!
406
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:41,397
We're done for! We're
gonna die in here!
Dennis:
Hey, frank.
407
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:42,899
Frank, get yourself together!
We're gonna
die in here!
408
00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:45,225
Stop losing your shit!
All right, relax!
409
00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:46,860
Nobody's dying!
Dee: That's right.
410
00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:48,204
Just listen to Charlie;
He seems to have
411
00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:49,362
his head straight.
Calm down.
412
00:13:49,396 --> 00:13:51,131
'Cause we're already dead.
413
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,033
Come again?
414
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:55,335
I figured it out.
415
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:57,470
We're dead. We died.
416
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:59,306
And I don't know
when it happened.
417
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,317
It might have... might have
happened on the cruise ship.
418
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,152
It might have happened on
the drive to the cruise ship.
419
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:04,677
You were going
awful fast, Dennis.
420
00:14:04,711 --> 00:14:06,679
(Ship creaking)
I don't know.
421
00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:08,515
Maybe it happened
weeks ago in the bar,
422
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:11,351
in some sort of colossal and
awesome event, I would imagine,
423
00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:13,020
but we're dead,
and we're in hell.
424
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:14,521
We're just being
toyed with here.
425
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:17,024
Or-or m-maybe we're not
in hell yet.
426
00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:19,026
You know,
maybe this is purgatory,
427
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:21,028
and we're on our way
to be judged.
428
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:22,029
And soon, oh, boy.
429
00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:24,031
(Chuckles)
430
00:14:24,064 --> 00:14:25,865
Yeah, soon,
we'll really be in hell.
431
00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:27,834
Won't that be something.
432
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,836
Charlie, calm down.
It's-it's gonna be fine, okay?
433
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,838
We can't be freaking out
every five minutes.
434
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:36,076
Now, look, if we work together,
everything's gonna be fine.
435
00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:37,510
We're gonna get out of here.
436
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,913
Nah, we're already dead.
437
00:14:39,947 --> 00:14:41,781
I'll prove it.
(Gun cocks)
438
00:14:41,814 --> 00:14:43,816
(Echoing):
No!
439
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,187
(Groans)
440
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,022
I think he's coming to.
441
00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:50,757
Charlie:
Oh, shit, that hurt.
442
00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:52,592
Frank: Oh, easy.
(Charlie groans)
443
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,070
Well, I guess that
means we're alive, huh?
444
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:55,895
Yeah, guess we are.
Guess we are, Charlie.
445
00:14:55,929 --> 00:14:57,773
Good, well, then maybe
everything's gonna be okay.
446
00:14:57,797 --> 00:15:00,767
Pal, we're in deep shit here.
447
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,378
Oh, shit!
Take it easy.
Okay, take it easy.
448
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,612
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Take it easy.
449
00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:05,238
It's not good. It's not good.
450
00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:06,473
Oh.
Dee:
As long as, um,
451
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:08,741
we're not gonna
get out of here...
452
00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:10,978
And it looks like that's
sort of where this is headed...
453
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:12,712
Is it okay if I just
confess something,
454
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:15,315
get it off my chest
before we die?
455
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:16,916
That's a good idea.
456
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:18,427
We shouldn't die holding
things in about ourselves.
457
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:19,686
Go ahead, Dee.
458
00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:22,489
Mac owns a cowboys Jersey.
459
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:24,067
I saw him wearing it
in the back office.
460
00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:25,425
What?
Uh...
What?!
461
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:26,994
That's a secret, Dee!
What are you...
462
00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:28,728
Don't say it's romo.
Of course it's romo!
463
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,930
Who else would it be?
Oh, my god!
464
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:32,265
(Screaming)
Mac:
I'm sorry.
465
00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:33,833
You don't think
he deserves to be mvp?!
466
00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:35,178
You son of a bitch.
He's constantly overlooked!
467
00:15:35,202 --> 00:15:36,436
You are a traitor!
468
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:37,437
How many super bowls
have the birds won?
469
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:38,438
Oh, shut up!
470
00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:40,740
Go birds! (Caws)
471
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,175
Oi, oi, oi!
Okay, you know what?
472
00:15:42,209 --> 00:15:44,411
I've got something
i want to confess.
473
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,479
Charlie changes frank's
prescription on his glasses
474
00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:48,515
to keep frank dependent on him.
475
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:50,426
Whoa! Why the hell
you blowin' up my spot, man?!
476
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,627
Dennis: What?!
Uh, I'm sorry, frank.
477
00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:52,919
All right, fine.
478
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,263
Well, as long as
we're "tattling,"
479
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,955
uh, Dennis ripped
up all the letters
480
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,624
that your dad wrote from prison,
481
00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:58,491
so... you know.
(Chuckles)
482
00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:00,027
What?
483
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:01,294
My dad has been writing?
484
00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:02,762
Dennis, is that true?
485
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,173
Yeah, man, but you were
just gonna be, like,
486
00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:05,865
talking about it all the time,
487
00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:07,310
and then your dad was probably
gonna come to our house
488
00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:09,302
and, like, try to kill
us or eat our butts.
489
00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:12,139
You know? I'm trying to
protect you, dude! And me.
490
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:14,874
Does he still write?
491
00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:17,810
Well, no, pal, 'cause
you never wrote him back.
492
00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:19,712
(Sighs)
493
00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:21,881
But, hey, if it makes
you feel any better,
494
00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:23,316
i-i read all
those letters,
495
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,652
and he never once said
that he loved you.
496
00:16:25,685 --> 00:16:27,320
He just mostly wanted
you to send him,
497
00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:30,057
like, pornographic magazines
and put drugs in your butthole.
498
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:31,791
(Sighs)
499
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:34,527
I can't believe this. I...
500
00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:37,164
I could've had
a relationship with my dad.
501
00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:38,398
But you ruined it.
502
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:39,799
(Scoffs)
503
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:41,044
Normally, I would
attack you, but...
504
00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:43,736
I-i don't have any fight left.
505
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:51,844
Dennis:
Wow.
506
00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:53,080
Well, shit, man. I...
507
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:56,683
I... I hurt ya.
508
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:58,551
I can see that.
509
00:16:58,585 --> 00:16:59,986
And, uh...
510
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:03,156
You know, it was... it was wrong
of me.
511
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:05,892
Oh, god, I'll tell you...
512
00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:09,429
I see how much pain
you're in right now.
513
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,231
It's just...
514
00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:12,499
(Sniffles)
515
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:14,067
it's tearing me up inside.
516
00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:16,869
(Sobbing)
Jesus, Dennis, you're crying.
517
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:18,871
(Crying):
Well, yeah.
518
00:17:18,905 --> 00:17:21,541
I mean, you've turned me
into a blubbering fool here,
519
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:24,043
because I've hurt...
520
00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:25,745
Not just my friend...
521
00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:28,515
(Sobs)
522
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:29,749
but my brother.
523
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:31,418
I've hurt my brother.
524
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:35,188
Onion!
I just saw it!
Onion!
525
00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:36,432
He's got an
onion there!
Aw, I knew it!
526
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:37,690
He's got an onion!
527
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,226
You are such an asshole.
I...
528
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:40,627
Now I gotta tell you!
529
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:43,596
I got a confession.
530
00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:44,764
What is it, frank?
531
00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:48,401
I was at chappaquiddick.
532
00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:51,404
The girl, Teddy Kennedy,
533
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:54,407
the bridge, the car...
534
00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:56,476
I played a major role.
535
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:57,620
Jesus, frank,
we're not doing confessions.
536
00:17:57,644 --> 00:17:59,246
We're doing tattling.
Keep up.
537
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:00,423
Dennis: You know what?
That's all right, it's okay.
538
00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:01,614
Guys, let's just...
539
00:18:01,648 --> 00:18:02,749
Let's stop fighting, okay?
540
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,050
No more confessions,
541
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,428
no more tattling
on each other, all right?
542
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:06,419
Look, guys,
543
00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:07,887
let's just try to enjoy
544
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,422
these last moments
we've got together.
545
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,991
Okay? Or these last hours.
546
00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:15,995
Or, hell...
It could even be days.
547
00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:22,469
God, we're gonna drown.
548
00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:24,971
I'm too young to drown!
549
00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:26,444
We should die
thinking good thoughts.
550
00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:28,007
Yeah.
For me,
551
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,285
that's romo connecting
with dez Bryant.
552
00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:30,343
Oh, stop it!
You traitor!
553
00:18:30,377 --> 00:18:31,344
You son of a bitch!
554
00:18:31,378 --> 00:18:32,479
Shut your mouth!
555
00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:33,480
Guys, guys, guys, don't fight.
556
00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:34,614
Don't fight, come on.
557
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:35,748
Oh, we're not good people;
558
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:36,749
we can't even die peacefully.
559
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:37,750
Yeah.
560
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:40,920
* amazing grace
561
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:43,623
* how sweet the sauce...
562
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:44,757
Sauce?
* that made...
563
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:45,925
It's not "sauce."
564
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,627
Look, you gotta
get the words right,
565
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:49,272
otherwise Jesus is gonna know
we're trying to trick him.
566
00:18:49,296 --> 00:18:50,997
Jesus isn't gonna listen to us.
567
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:52,999
He's just not,
'cause we're bad people.
568
00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:55,802
But if he's gonna listen to
anybody, he might listen to Mac.
569
00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:57,546
Mac, you've been talking
to him your whole life.
570
00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:58,871
Mac...
He knows you!
571
00:18:58,905 --> 00:19:00,207
He doesn't even know who I am.
572
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,474
Save us! Mac, save us.
573
00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:02,542
Guys, guys...
574
00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:04,477
There is no god.
Oi!
575
00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:07,480
Oi, oi, oi, oi,
oi, oi, oi, oi!
Oi, oi, oi,
oi, oi, oi!
576
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:08,981
Okay, okay, okay.
577
00:19:09,015 --> 00:19:10,817
One last shot.
578
00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:12,452
Uh, dear heavenly father...
579
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:13,886
Yeah.
580
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,956
If you do exist,
and you are listening,
581
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,791
if you could find it
in your heart
582
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:21,060
to send us a miracle...
583
00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:22,562
Just send us
one miracle, please.
584
00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:23,563
One miracle.
585
00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:25,365
Our goose is cooked!
586
00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:26,866
I'm going down.
587
00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:29,202
Highway to hell, baby!
588
00:19:32,272 --> 00:19:35,041
Sis... I love you.
589
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:38,878
Whatever.
590
00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:40,146
What?
591
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,514
Whatever?!
592
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:43,350
(Scoffs) Whatever?
593
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:45,252
Unbelievable!
594
00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:48,221
Ah, whatever.
595
00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:55,762
I can't believe
nobody came to save us.
596
00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:57,530
Should we do this?
597
00:19:57,564 --> 00:19:58,765
Let's go be with the gang.
598
00:19:58,798 --> 00:19:59,799
All right.
599
00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:03,703
*
600
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:19,386
(tapping sounds)
601
00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:22,322
(Ship creaking)
602
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,336
*
603
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:03,696
*
604
00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:08,635
A-and then, uh, you know,
605
00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:10,403
and then we all got pulled up.
606
00:21:10,437 --> 00:21:11,914
I mean, it was a miracle.
It was an actual miracle.
607
00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:13,282
Yeah. Hey, I'm sorry,
can I stop...
608
00:21:13,306 --> 00:21:15,141
Can you just move
that light a little bit?
609
00:21:15,174 --> 00:21:16,952
It's really blasting
me right in my face.
Yeah, it's been
610
00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:18,754
blasting us this whole time.
It's kind of blasting all of us.
611
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:19,955
Can you move the light, please?
Dee: Just a little bit?
612
00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:20,947
Sorry about that.
Oh, wow!
613
00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:22,148
Charlie:
So much better.
614
00:21:22,181 --> 00:21:23,516
Should've said something
earlier.
615
00:21:23,550 --> 00:21:25,318
Well, harrowing stuff,
616
00:21:25,352 --> 00:21:27,354
but I think I got
everything I need.
617
00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:29,121
Could you mark down
in your report,
618
00:21:29,155 --> 00:21:30,666
uh, that I'm not gay?
Because I'm not.
What?
619
00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:32,592
What do you mean,
you're not gay?
Since when?
620
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:34,427
He's gay.
Oh, well, because
621
00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:36,629
god answered my prayers
and saved us.
622
00:21:36,663 --> 00:21:38,631
That means that there is,
of course, a god,
623
00:21:38,665 --> 00:21:40,867
and if there is a god,
then in his infinite wisdom,
624
00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:42,545
there's no way
he would have made me queer.
625
00:21:42,569 --> 00:21:44,036
Dee: Oh.
Mac: So I'm-I'm straight.
626
00:21:44,070 --> 00:21:45,772
All righty.
Okay.
Look, look...
627
00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:47,483
Are we gonna get in trouble
because of this accident?
628
00:21:47,507 --> 00:21:49,008
Uh, nope, you're good to go.
629
00:21:49,041 --> 00:21:51,210
I just needed your report
for my insurance claim.
630
00:21:51,243 --> 00:21:53,446
Insurance claim?
Y-you're not a cop?
631
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,548
Cop?
No, I'm an insurance adjustor.
632
00:21:55,582 --> 00:21:58,050
I'm just collecting reports
of people's experiences
633
00:21:58,084 --> 00:21:59,952
for insurance purposes.
Oh.
634
00:21:59,986 --> 00:22:01,320
Whew.
I'm so relieved.
635
00:22:01,354 --> 00:22:02,731
So, so... are we
gonna get a payout?
636
00:22:02,755 --> 00:22:04,023
Well, you might have,
637
00:22:04,056 --> 00:22:05,858
had you not just
admitted to breaking...
638
00:22:05,892 --> 00:22:07,293
Several laws.
639
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:09,228
What?
Right, well...
Hang on, though.
640
00:22:09,261 --> 00:22:10,806
I mean, we got
trapped in a room...
Yeah.
641
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:12,565
By a drunk captain
who sunk the ship.
642
00:22:12,599 --> 00:22:14,401
We almost died, man.
Yeah, man.
Yeah.
643
00:22:14,434 --> 00:22:16,669
No, no, it wasn't the
captain's fault. He was sober.
644
00:22:16,703 --> 00:22:18,337
Well, what happened?
Whose fault was it?
645
00:22:18,371 --> 00:22:19,872
Nobody's fault.
646
00:22:19,906 --> 00:22:22,141
The ship just hit a massive wave
during the storm.
647
00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:24,377
In the insurance biz,
that is what we call
648
00:22:24,411 --> 00:22:26,178
"an act of god."
649
00:22:26,212 --> 00:22:28,748
Well, god is great.
650
00:22:30,282 --> 00:22:33,920
* oh, blessed is he
that loves the lord *
651
00:22:33,953 --> 00:22:36,856
* trust in Jesus
and he'll restore *
652
00:22:36,889 --> 00:22:40,693
* well, when you're low
and hard to bear *
653
00:22:40,727 --> 00:22:43,329
* Jesus will answer prayer *
654
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:44,597
* oh, Jesus
655
00:22:44,631 --> 00:22:46,499
* Jesus will answer prayer *
656
00:22:46,533 --> 00:22:47,900
* oh, Jesus
657
00:22:47,934 --> 00:22:49,769
* Jesus will answer prayer *
658
00:22:49,802 --> 00:22:53,172
* well, I know
he'll take away your burdens *
659
00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:55,608
* and he'll take away
all your cares *
660
00:22:55,642 --> 00:22:59,846
* oh, blessed be
the name of Jesus Christ *
661
00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:02,048
* he hung up there on the cross
and died *
662
00:23:02,081 --> 00:23:03,315
* oh...
663
00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:07,787
(Trumpet plays off-key fanfare)
664
00:23:07,820 --> 00:23:09,288
Brown.
665
00:23:09,321 --> 00:23:11,290
Captioned by
media access group at wgbh
666
00:23:13,426 --> 00:23:15,495
* (Classical piano)
667
00:23:20,099 --> 00:23:23,069
Very nice,
but maybe something
simpler, monsieur?
668
00:23:23,603 --> 00:23:25,137
(Squeaks)
669
00:23:26,272 --> 00:23:28,908
Can I try the, uh,
allegro rainbow, please?
670
00:23:30,610 --> 00:23:32,378
(Whispering)
It's beautiful.
671
00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:35,214
What size is this?
This is a three.
672
00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:37,750
Is it a European cut?
Well, of course, monsieur.
673
00:23:38,585 --> 00:23:41,253
(Sniffing)
(Soft honk)
674
00:23:41,988 --> 00:23:43,623
Yep. I'll take this one.
675
00:23:43,656 --> 00:23:45,892
(Clicks tongue)
Should I box it up, monsieur?
676
00:23:45,925 --> 00:23:48,761
I'll just wear it out.
Very well.
677
00:23:48,795 --> 00:23:50,830
* (Continues)
678
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,669
Baskets. All new,
Thursdays at 10:00.
(Squeaks)
679
00:23:56,703 --> 00:23:58,204
Only on fx.
680
00:23:59,506 --> 00:24:01,007
Announcer: This spring...
681
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:03,610
How awesome is it
to be back doing
what we're best at?
682
00:24:03,643 --> 00:24:05,411
(Yawns)
683
00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:07,079
Man:
Archer!
684
00:24:07,113 --> 00:24:09,148
- Aaah!
- Mmm.
685
00:24:09,181 --> 00:24:10,950
Why the hell are you naked?
686
00:24:10,983 --> 00:24:13,853
It's after labor day.
687
00:24:13,886 --> 00:24:15,688
Mr. Archer? Mr. Archer.
688
00:24:15,722 --> 00:24:18,024
Boop. Sorry.
Had to take that.
689
00:24:18,057 --> 00:24:19,592
Announcer: Archer.
690
00:24:19,626 --> 00:24:22,194
Why does a divorce lawyer
have grenades?
691
00:24:22,228 --> 00:24:24,697
'Cause they're
terrible people.
Whoo-hoo!
692
00:24:24,731 --> 00:24:27,767
Announcer: The all new season
starts Thursday, march 31.
693
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,235
Only on fx.
694
00:24:31,504 --> 00:24:34,040
(Woman whispering)
695
00:24:44,651 --> 00:24:46,986
- (Silenced gunshot)
- (Silenced gunshots)
696
00:24:47,019 --> 00:24:48,521
(Door opens)
697
00:25:03,202 --> 00:25:04,971
(Line ringing)
698
00:25:05,004 --> 00:25:07,073
(Woman laughs)
(Phones ringing)
699
00:25:11,010 --> 00:25:13,012
(Sighs)
700
00:25:13,045 --> 00:25:14,714
Announcer:
The people v. O.J. Simpson.
701
00:25:14,747 --> 00:25:16,382
Tuesdays at 10:00 on fx.
50742
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