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1
00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:03,711
Okay. So the music
teacher, Ms. Davis,
2
00:00:03,712 --> 00:00:05,379
couldn't make it today.
3
00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:07,423
So I'm filling in, and
I thought that we could
4
00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:10,426
make a playlist, starting
with some oldies.
5
00:00:10,427 --> 00:00:11,594
Ooh!
6
00:00:11,595 --> 00:00:13,304
How about 50 Cent, "In Da Club"?
7
00:00:13,305 --> 00:00:15,264
Okay, no, that's not an oldie,
8
00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:16,015
and you shouldn't be
listening to that.
9
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:18,059
"Umbrella" by Rihanna.
10
00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:19,560
Also not an oldie.
11
00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:21,896
But my Mom listens to it
when she cleans on Sunday,
12
00:00:21,897 --> 00:00:23,231
and she's old.
13
00:00:23,232 --> 00:00:25,441
She's like 30. Exactly.
14
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:27,401
Okay, look, an
oldie is something
15
00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:28,819
that's from another era.
16
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,988
Like "A Milli" by Lil Wayne?
17
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:32,156
That came out in 2005.
18
00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:34,951
I was born in 2018. Okay.
19
00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:36,577
I love "A Milli."
20
00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:38,204
It's a classic!
21
00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:40,790
♪ A milli, a
milli, a milli, a milli ♪
22
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:43,084
Okay, okay, okay. Okay,
okay, okay. Alright.
23
00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:46,003
Mr. Eddie, what
were iPods like?
24
00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:48,423
We're gonna play "Hot Cross
Buns" on the recorder.
25
00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:06,190
Hey, Roz. Hey.
26
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:08,818
Dropping off "Of Mice
and Men." It was a slay.
27
00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:11,988
Oh, I am thrilled that, as a
leader, you're also a reader.
28
00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:13,489
Period. Hype me
up, book baddie.
29
00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:15,116
Come on.
30
00:01:15,117 --> 00:01:16,200
I'm here to collect the
books for my class to read.
31
00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:17,910
Oh, uh, you know, Barb,
32
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,495
you can bring your
kids in later,
33
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,581
and I can read to them from
those cozy, new beanbags
34
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:22,832
we got from the golf course.
35
00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:25,209
I am, uh, freed up
36
00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:28,337
since we have Ms. Krystal
here as a volunteer.
37
00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:29,922
Oh.
38
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,382
I know what you
guys are thinking.
39
00:01:31,383 --> 00:01:32,883
How could a busy
bitch like myself
40
00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:34,593
also find time to
be a perfect mom?
41
00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:36,971
And I don't know.
42
00:01:36,972 --> 00:01:40,141
And we are so grateful for
your contribution. Yeah.
43
00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:42,601
Wait. Y'all got "The
Sassy Wizard Kid"?
44
00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:43,853
Yeah, girl.
45
00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:45,688
It's the story of
Jamiroquai Gemstone,
46
00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:48,065
who was raised in a magical
barber shop in Atlanta.
47
00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:50,026
I know it.
48
00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:51,944
And as a Christian,
I don't like magic.
49
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,487
I'm a Christian, too.
50
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:55,364
And so what if it's
got a little magic?
51
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:57,158
I'mma read that "Peter Pan."
52
00:01:57,159 --> 00:01:58,284
Yeah, but I also
don't like the way
53
00:01:58,285 --> 00:01:59,869
the wizard talks to his parents.
54
00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:01,912
Uh, well, Ms. Krystal,
55
00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:05,791
I will make sure that your
Tamika does not read that book.
56
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,877
Yeah, this doesn't need
to be in a library at all.
57
00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:11,297
I've seen the Reddit threads
on r/blackmommasonthewatch,
58
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,007
and he's talking about
some "Abracasnapra"
59
00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:14,008
and "Al-la-ka-zip-ya-lip."
60
00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:16,052
Unh-unh, not on my watch.
61
00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:18,679
But it gets the children
excited about reading.
62
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:21,223
Oh, and the movie's being
directed by Ryan Coogler.
63
00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:23,142
It's like "Wicked"
with better dancing.
64
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,685
Respectfully, I don't care.
65
00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:27,313
Y'all need to get this
book out of the library.
66
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:28,647
You... Y...
67
00:02:31,193 --> 00:02:32,485
Hey. Hey.
68
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,070
Gary.
69
00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:36,530
How you doing? It's
been a minute, huh?
70
00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:39,492
Truth be told, I've
been avoiding you since,
71
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,744
you know, the most
embarrassing moment in my life.
72
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:43,454
Yeah, I get it.
73
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:46,749
On a separate, but
kind of related note,
74
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,000
I'm getting married.
75
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,001
What?
76
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,711
Yeah. Wow!
77
00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:53,381
I-I was stocking a
machine at the hospital.
78
00:02:53,382 --> 00:02:54,924
Yeah. And Lucy was a patient.
79
00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,008
Oh, no.
80
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,218
Oh, no. She's okay now. Okay.
81
00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:59,553
I mean, who needs
tonsils? Yeah, right.
82
00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:01,972
Anyway, I-I didn't know if
it'd be weird to tell you.
83
00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:03,766
No. Why would it be weird?
84
00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:05,768
I wanted this for you.
85
00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:08,771
Actually, I'd love for you
to come to the wedding.
86
00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:10,481
Hey, I am there.
87
00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:12,525
I mean, as long as your bride
doesn't mind a loud Sicilian
88
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:15,361
who gives one too many hugs
when she's off that Zinfandel.
89
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,779
That's
you. That's me.
90
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:19,115
Alright. Hey, congrats,
ya big gagootz.
91
00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:21,242
Aw, thanks. Good
seeing you. Yeah.
92
00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:22,368
She's not cuter than
me, though, right?
93
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:25,037
I'm legally obligated
to say she is, so...
94
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,038
Mm.
95
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:30,669
Here you go. Oh, thank you.
96
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:34,380
Why are you on LinkedIn?
97
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:36,048
Oh, my God. If you quit,
98
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,758
this place would lose
all of its sparkle.
99
00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:38,843
Hey. Calm down.
100
00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:40,136
I'm just looking
for a second job.
101
00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:42,221
My rent's going up soon,
and I have a girlfriend.
102
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,472
Well...
103
00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:45,474
Relationships don't cost money.
104
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,393
I mean, if you ignore
my first relationship,
105
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:50,396
I usually spend less
when I'm dating someone.
106
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:51,981
Mm.
107
00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:54,233
Yeah, so I'm just waiting
for bites on my résumé. Okay.
108
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,818
Just looking for
something part time,
109
00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:57,570
low lift, high pay.
110
00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,029
Shouldn't be too hard to find.
111
00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:00,030
I have a master's degree.
112
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:01,115
He does. Mm.
113
00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:02,616
Hey, this career is a grind.
114
00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:04,910
Second job is a
plight of teachers.
115
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:08,456
Barb used to teach night school,
and I used to be a pool shark.
116
00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:10,332
Mm.
117
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:11,792
You told me that was
your first time playing.
118
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,089
Yeah, I did.
119
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:21,427
"I'm not scared anymore!
120
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:22,720
And I can..."
121
00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:24,930
Ah, reading it for
the second time, Ava?
122
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:28,058
No. Krystal had the nerve
to send me a scathing email
123
00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:29,852
threatening to take this
matter to the district.
124
00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:31,854
It is just one parent.
125
00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:33,689
Barb, she's VP of the PTA.
126
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:35,649
This has the potential to
get bigger than all of us.
127
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:38,319
Unfortunately, this
wizard has to disappear.
128
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,154
I didn't want to take
the book off the shelf,
129
00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:42,865
but I was already in hot
water with the district.
130
00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:44,575
Sorry, little guy,
131
00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:45,868
but if you made it past
the voguing bridge troll,
132
00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:47,411
then you got this.
133
00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:48,412
Go to your seats.
134
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:49,581
Hey!
135
00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:51,123
Hey! Hey.
136
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,416
So, how's the job hunt going?
137
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:55,044
Um, it seems
promising. Yeah. Uh...
138
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:56,504
You have a situation developing.
139
00:04:56,505 --> 00:04:59,131
Hey, Viv, cut it out.
140
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,175
How many times have I told you
not to braid Charlie's hair?
141
00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:03,260
He's not even tender headed.
142
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:05,513
Viv, what would you do if
Charlie touched your hair?
143
00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:07,431
Smack him. Right.
144
00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:09,016
So how about we don't
touch Charlie's hair?
145
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:10,768
Okay? Please sit down.
146
00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,186
Thank you.
147
00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:15,022
Oh, my goodness. See?
Teaching is so much.
148
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:16,899
I don't know how you're going
to handle this and a second job.
149
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,817
Eh, it'll be fine.
150
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:20,694
Still hunting, huh? Yeah.
151
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:22,321
Just drive rideshare.
152
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,989
I have a master's
degree in education,
153
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,783
so I think I may be a
little overqualified. Yeah.
154
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:27,077
Do you need money?
155
00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:31,580
Yes. Sounds like
you're qualified.
156
00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:32,791
Let's practice.
157
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:37,837
Pick up for Mr. Johnson.
158
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,505
No.
159
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,966
Hey, who are you going to
take to Gary's wedding?
160
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,759
Not Sweet Cheeks, right?
161
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,427
I don't think that little
booger likes to dress up.
162
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:47,304
Nah, dunno. Probably
Captain Robinson.
163
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,430
He's always a good time.
164
00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:50,224
Oh, I didn't know
you'd leveled up
165
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,267
your relationship
with the cap'n.
166
00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:52,351
That's a big step.
167
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,519
It's the opposite.
168
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,104
That's what I love
about our situation.
169
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:56,939
It's, like, casual.
170
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:58,107
Be like bringing a
friend to an open bar.
171
00:05:58,108 --> 00:05:59,400
What do you mean?
172
00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:01,443
Y-You're traveling
out of town together.
173
00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:03,195
Next thing you know,
you got a hotel room.
174
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,698
Then you're... you're
suddenly in brunch territory.
175
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,284
Jacob, he is still saved in
my phone as Fireman Number 2.
176
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:10,786
I think we're good. Mm!
177
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:14,415
Did you ban the "Sassy
Wizard" book from the library?
178
00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:17,126
Uh, watch your tone.
And I did.
179
00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:18,877
And? And I'm here to tell you,
180
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:21,839
if you don't put "Sassy Wizard
Kid" back in the library pronto,
181
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:23,465
you're gonna have a big
old problem with me,
182
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,634
the head "P" of the PTA.
183
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:28,012
Okay, Expecto No-Way-Yo.
184
00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:29,430
What the hell are
you talking about?
185
00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:31,724
My son was excited to read
that book to me at bedtime.
186
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,058
And why are you
going to sleep before your son?
187
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,476
I am sleepy.
188
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:35,686
Tariq, chill. It's
just one book.
189
00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:37,605
Okay, cool.
190
00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:39,607
Then I want "The 48 Laws
of Power" in the library.
191
00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:41,108
Absolutely not.
192
00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:43,193
You see, this is what happens
193
00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:45,779
when we let parents dictate
our literary offerings.
194
00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:47,114
It's not fair!
195
00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:48,198
Y'all let Krystal
pick and choose
196
00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,325
what books go in the library.
197
00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:51,118
Why can't I? She grown.
198
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:52,286
You know what? Fine.
199
00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:54,288
I don't need you
filing a complaint.
200
00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,332
Between me and you,
we'll find a way
201
00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:57,916
to get "The Sassy Wizard
Kid" back in the library.
202
00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:00,085
Okay? Everybody happy?
203
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:03,047
Okay. Yeah, cool. I love that.
204
00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:06,091
Sorry that I had to use Law of
Power Number 21 on you, by the way.
205
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,136
Ha, ha. You've been Tariq'd.
206
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:13,515
Ava, what we need to
do is tell the parents
207
00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:16,685
that they need to trust
us to curate the library.
208
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:18,312
Nah, this'll work.
209
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:20,230
It's like the fourth installment
of "The Sassy Wizard Kid,"
210
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:21,398
where he had to
hide his sassiness
211
00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:23,108
from the village people.
212
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,360
The people that live in
the village, not the group.
213
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,779
They would've loved
that.
214
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,781
Ooh, that magical
little bastard kills me.
215
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:29,783
Bless his heart.
216
00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:35,537
This is going to end worse than
the end of the New Testament.
217
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:36,581
Hmm.
218
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:41,502
Hi. Yes,
this is Gregory Eddie.
219
00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:43,379
I'm calling to see if you
received my application.
220
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:45,881
Oh... oh, you did.
You got it. Great.
221
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:49,009
R-Right. Right.
222
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:53,847
Well, did you happen to see that
I have a master's degree in...
223
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:56,810
N-No, no, I don't have any
experience sign spinning.
224
00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,478
Hello?
225
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,729
The job search?
226
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:01,897
Oh, it's going...
it's going great.
227
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,357
It's going really great.
228
00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:04,733
Um, Topgolf decided to
go with another candidate
229
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,610
for shift manager,
but it's fine.
230
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:07,736
It was, like, my seventh choice.
231
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:09,697
I got a lot of
irons in the fire.
232
00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:11,365
I love irons. I even
applied to be a blacksmith.
233
00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:13,242
So to answer your
question, it's going great.
234
00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,910
It's going really great.
235
00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:17,663
Hey.
236
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,498
Hey. What's up?
237
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,291
Okay, so, remember, I told
you about my ex, Gary?
238
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:23,585
Well, turns out,
he's getting married.
239
00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:25,087
Huh. Good for Gary.
240
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,422
Johnny, up the ladder.
241
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:29,299
Yeah. So you get to
be my plus-one. Huh?
242
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:30,968
It's weekend after next.
243
00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:32,302
Uh, what is that, the 15th?
244
00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:33,387
Shoot, I can't. I got plans.
245
00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:34,847
Oh.
246
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,473
What kind of plans?
247
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:38,434
Uh, well, I-I'm going
to the symphony.
248
00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:41,228
With a gal.
249
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:42,855
Hey, you said you wanted
to be casual, so...
250
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,398
Guys, be careful!
251
00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:46,859
Yeah, no. Uh, casual, sure.
252
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:50,154
Yeah. I did say... casual.
253
00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:53,240
Guys, that thing looks vicious!
254
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:54,283
So, are we good?
255
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,951
Yeah, of course.
256
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:57,536
We're good.
257
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,496
It's all good. No worries.
258
00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:01,957
You have fun at the symphony.
259
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:04,043
It's probably a girl's
first nice date.
260
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,127
Hey. Who's that?
261
00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:07,087
I'll name it Pawtrice.
262
00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:08,255
Okay,
well, you're busy.
263
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:09,799
Bye.
264
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:17,639
"Early one morning, the wind
blew a spider across the field."
265
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,516
Ooh!
266
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:22,352
Hey, Ms. Inez, uh, I'm just
here to return this book.
267
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:24,563
I liked the part when
he goes, "Abracasnapra"!
268
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,023
- Thank you, Andrew.
- Unh-unh. Unh-unh.
269
00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:27,649
Where'd you get that book from?
270
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:30,194
Up there on the secret top shelf
behind that secret curtain.
271
00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:31,862
Hey. It's okay, baby. Mm-hmm.
272
00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:33,490
"...with
her silky thread."
273
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:38,911
A book speakeasy? "'Neigh,
' said the horse."
274
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,788
"'Want to go for a
ride?'" Who did this?
275
00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:41,998
Who put this here?
276
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:46,543
Me. Yeah.
277
00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:51,006
I heard you had a problem
with "The Sassy Wizard Kid."
278
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:53,550
Can you all please keep
it down for my class?!
279
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:56,386
This is neither the
time nor the place.
280
00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:58,889
Yes, we all put the
book back, Ms. Krystal.
281
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,849
Y'all think I'm playing.
282
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:02,559
I'm going to the district.
283
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,520
Well, I'm going to Channel 6.
284
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:06,438
I don't even like Channel 6.
285
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,023
Channel 3 is a much
better network.
286
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,900
Now, stop it.
287
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:11,610
You all sound worse
than the children!
288
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:12,945
You're right. Hmm?
289
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,071
This is your problem.
290
00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:15,489
What?! Mm!
291
00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:16,490
Yeah, I said it.
292
00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:17,825
Yeah.
293
00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,618
Y'all may not know
this about me,
294
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,829
but if I put my mind to
it, I can be real annoying.
295
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:23,163
Y'all better fix this.
296
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:25,374
Yeah. Figure it out.
297
00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:28,377
- Clean up these books.
- Oooooh!
298
00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:30,629
No, no. Stop it!
299
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,132
No, no, no, no!
300
00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:35,843
Hi! Hey! Hey.
301
00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:37,177
Oh. You still on for tonight?
302
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:38,887
Taking our couple glamour
shots at the mall?
303
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:40,013
I got the matching overalls.
304
00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:42,182
I really
wish I could,
305
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:44,309
but I'm gonna be busy tonight.
306
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,228
I got a new job.
307
00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:48,313
Oh, my gosh! That's amazing!
308
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:50,065
Which one is it? Is
it the one at the gym?
309
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:51,441
Yeah, where'd you wind up?
310
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:53,235
Yeah. Uh, yeah. Yeah.
311
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:54,611
Actually, it is
the one at the gym.
312
00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:56,155
Gonna be running the
front desk.
313
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,323
That is so exciting!
Oh, my goodness.
314
00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,950
I mean, who wouldn't want to get
jacked with you greeting them?
315
00:10:59,951 --> 00:11:01,785
Can
I get a free membership?
316
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:04,079
I want to get even more
swole. Ah.
317
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,039
Yeah, yeah, I'll
definitely look into that.
318
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,457
Oh! Uh-huh.
319
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:09,376
Amazing!
320
00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:14,006
And that is when Moses
split that sea, baby.
321
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,132
Wow!
322
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:16,758
Oh, my God, should
I read the Bible?
323
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:18,635
Okay, no more spoilers.
324
00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:22,139
Whoa.
325
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:25,392
Could any more of these
damn hipster college kids
326
00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:27,436
move to this town and ruin it?
327
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:29,229
That's why my Sixers
are blowing it.
328
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:31,732
And the Phillies lost
in the playoffs...
329
00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:33,358
to the Mets.
330
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,777
The Mets, Barb! Damn it!
331
00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:37,863
Melissa, what's
going on with you?
332
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,740
I don't know, Barb.
It's just a...
333
00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:42,326
I'm having a bad case of
Whatever the Hell Day This Is.
334
00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:45,370
Lies. Lie-za Minnelli.
335
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:48,624
Something is amiss, and you
are going to spill, sister.
336
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,209
Okay? Like the oil that is,
337
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,044
unfortunately,
always in our oceans.
338
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,756
Okay, fine.
339
00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:58,717
Captain Rob can't go
to Gary's wedding.
340
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,093
Which is fine!
341
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:01,428
Doesn't seem like it's fine.
342
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:03,555
No. It... You know
what? It's not fine.
343
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,557
But why? Why isn't it fine?
344
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,851
Why do I care if he
goes to the symphony
345
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:10,187
with some slut?! Ooh, heavens.
346
00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:12,564
Melissa... sit.
347
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:18,987
Okay.
348
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:23,493
Now, do you want him to
see other people or not?
349
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:29,831
No, I-I-I guess I don't.
350
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:32,669
Sounds like somebody
wants to go steady.
351
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:37,547
Aww. Ohhh, fine.
352
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:42,594
Principal Coleman?
353
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,096
I don't know where to put this.
354
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,807
Brandon, do I look
like Ms. Inez to you?
355
00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:48,642
You see an Arby's
logo on my dome?
356
00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:50,727
No, but the library's closed.
357
00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:51,771
Closed?
358
00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:57,067
What is happening?
359
00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:59,027
Ms. Inez has locked the
door to the library.
360
00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:00,779
A-And my students are in the middle
of working on their book reports.
361
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:04,574
I have two parents CC-ing me
non-stop demands and threats.
362
00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:06,410
I can't run a library like this.
363
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:08,412
So, until a
resolution is reached,
364
00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:10,539
this door remains locked.
365
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:11,916
Open the door.
366
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:16,795
Okay, fine. You win. But can you just
open it up real quick for something else?
367
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:17,796
I left my inhaler in there.
368
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,339
Oh, I have asthma, too.
369
00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:21,216
Oh, girl, I was
lying. You good?
370
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:25,138
If you want the library
open, fix this mess.
371
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,889
Ava, it's time.
372
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,891
Wait. Time for what?
373
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:32,894
Time to call the old
elementary school Hail Mary.
374
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:34,980
A PTA meeting.
375
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:39,985
Hey, hey, what's going
on with Captain Robinson?
376
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:40,986
Did you tell him how you feel?
377
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:42,738
I got a plan.
378
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,031
Is the plan to tell
him how you feel?
379
00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:45,032
Shh, shh, shh.
380
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:46,408
The meeting has started.
381
00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:49,619
Now, there
has been a lot of debate
382
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:53,749
about whether or not to allow
a certain book in the library.
383
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:56,376
Quite frankly, it has
gotten out of control.
384
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:58,420
And so we're going
to put it to a vote.
385
00:13:58,421 --> 00:14:00,505
If you don't want "The
Sassy Wizard Kid" in here,
386
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,383
raise your hand.
387
00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,552
If you do want this
book in the library,
388
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:08,263
raise your hand.
389
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:10,015
Yeah, it's a tie.
390
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,892
You couldn't just do a miscount?
391
00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:14,269
If "The Sassy Wizard"
stays, then I see no reason
392
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:15,771
why we can't
introduce the children
393
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:17,481
to Steve Harvey's entire oeuvre.
394
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:20,901
Which would pair exquisitely
with "The 48 Laws of Power."
395
00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:23,070
Exactly. Now, what we really
need to be talking about banning
396
00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:25,280
is "Clifford the Big Red Dog."
397
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:27,407
Okay, no. No,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
398
00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:29,284
The only thing we need
to be talking about
399
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:30,786
is "The Sassy Wizard Kid."
400
00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:31,870
Like, are y'all okay? People!
401
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,206
People, please.
This is a library.
402
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,665
Order! Order!
403
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,585
Hey.
Great, you're here.
404
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:39,711
Oh, yeah? What do you
need? My mediating skills?
405
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:40,962
Yes. Yeah?
406
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:42,339
Okay, so I ordered
pizzas for the meeting,
407
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:43,840
but the delivery guy
won't come to the door,
408
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:44,841
so I'mma need you
to handle that.
409
00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:46,009
What? Okay? Yes.
410
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:47,385
Do not look at my photos.
411
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,346
Matter of fact, don't even
leave the lock screen.
412
00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:50,555
What are you...
Thank you. Thank you.
413
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:51,599
I... I don't...
414
00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:01,233
Oh. Text from
the delivery guy.
415
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,693
"Gonna leave pizzas on
sidewalk outside parking lot."
416
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:05,737
Uh, no. Crazy.
417
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:09,366
Um, "That is insane.
418
00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:10,575
Ha, ha.
419
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:12,994
Please bring them
inside to the library.
420
00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:14,246
LOL."
421
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:15,664
Tell him to bring in that pizza,
422
00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:17,707
or I'll show him why I was
dishonorably discharged
423
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:19,209
from the Salvation Army.
424
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:20,294
Okay.
425
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:26,133
While we're at it, I
think we need to vote on
426
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:27,801
banning "The Little Prince."
427
00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:29,052
Now, why the hell
would we do that?
428
00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:30,512
Because it's French.
429
00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:33,431
It promotes French values,
and French food sucks.
430
00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:35,308
This pizza delivery guy
431
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:36,977
is refusing to deliver inside.
432
00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:38,854
What? It's freezing out. Yeah.
433
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:41,022
I know. Um...
434
00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:43,358
"It's too cold out there.
435
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:46,111
The pizza will freeze. LOL.
436
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:48,989
Please bring to library. LOL."
437
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:52,784
He's refusing to go past admin.
438
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:55,620
What? Admin? That's
weirdly specific.
439
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:57,455
I know.
440
00:15:57,456 --> 00:15:59,833
Oh, hell no! Fire, y'all!
441
00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,501
Head towards exits!
442
00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:03,337
The plot of "Fahrenheit
451" is upon us!
443
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,507
Oh, Mr. Johnson.
What's going on?
444
00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:09,217
Sorry, folks. False alarm.
445
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:11,344
False alarm? Quit
badgering me, Jacob.
446
00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:12,888
These things are just
begging to be pulled.
447
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:14,639
Thanks, Mr. J.
448
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,433
You're welcome.
449
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:17,684
I just hope you finally
tell that fireman
450
00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:18,925
about your feelings towards me.
451
00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:24,774
Hey!
452
00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:26,443
Hello.
453
00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:28,612
I'm the one who's been
texting you about the pizza.
454
00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:30,530
Hi. Oop.
455
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:32,782
Hello? Hi. Okay.
456
00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:34,409
Whoop!
457
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:35,744
Heyyy.
458
00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:37,538
Heyyy. Hi. Hi.
459
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:42,042
This is your new job?
460
00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:43,335
Yeah.
461
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,212
Hmm.
462
00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:47,756
So you kind of lied.
463
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:48,966
Don't love that.
464
00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:52,469
Okay. Yeah.
465
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:55,013
Um, I'm sorry.
466
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,723
I guess I just didn't want
to say what I was doing
467
00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:58,976
after I was so cocky
about being overqualified.
468
00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:04,105
Well, there's nothing
to be ashamed of.
469
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:05,733
It's honest work.
470
00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:09,236
You're right. Yeah.
471
00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:11,530
My pride's a little
bruised, but I'll be okay.
472
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,325
How's the PTA meeting going?
473
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:17,410
Oh, I have no idea.
474
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:20,372
I've been dealing with this goofy
pizza delivery man the whole time.
475
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:23,292
He's lucky he's cute
and a hard worker.
476
00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:26,503
At least you don't have
to drive people around.
477
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,631
Hey, are you almost done here?
478
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:31,716
I have to get to the airport.
479
00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:33,134
Yeah, I'm also doing rideshare.
480
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:35,637
Hey, man, you signed up
for rideshare pool, okay?
481
00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:36,555
You don't get to call the shots.
482
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,890
Wait in the car.
483
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:42,060
Okay, everybody, let's
get back to work.
484
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:46,398
We still haven't made a decision
about "The Sassy Wizard Kid."
485
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:49,734
We have, however,
banned 34 other books.
486
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,071
Many of these being classics,
487
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,949
important books that
have shaped us all.
488
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:57,951
I know you guys remember.
489
00:17:57,952 --> 00:18:01,122
This was your
plan? You brilliant monster.
490
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,209
So, clearly, there's
no fire here.
491
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:07,627
Looks like somebody
just pulled the alarm.
492
00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:09,129
Yeah,
those crazy kids.
493
00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:13,633
I mean, you know,
parents or... um.
494
00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:16,595
I am a single fire captain
in a metropolitan city.
495
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,763
This isn't the first time a
woman has pulled a fire alarm
496
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:19,639
just to see me.
497
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,309
I didn't pull it.
498
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:24,894
Mr. Johnson pulled it.
499
00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:27,314
I told him to do it, but he...
500
00:18:27,315 --> 00:18:31,234
Okay, look, I know that we said
we were going to be casual,
501
00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:34,571
but I don't want you to go to
the symphony with someone else.
502
00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:36,948
I mean, forget the
symphony. I don't...
503
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:41,494
I think what I'm
trying to say is, um...
504
00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:44,498
I think, like, I would love
for us to be exclusive.
505
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,172
Exclusive sounds good to me.
506
00:18:52,173 --> 00:18:54,007
I don't even like music.
507
00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,259
Good man. Come here.
508
00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:57,427
Ooh.
509
00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:03,850
Next time, just call.
510
00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:05,268
Seriously.
511
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:06,686
Pulling a fire alarm
is a federal offense.
512
00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:08,480
I'm gonna have to
arrest Mr. Johnson now.
513
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,148
Okay.
514
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,026
But don't warn him. Okay.
515
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:16,279
Is anybody else
mad about anything?
516
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,073
Let's get rid of
"Everybody Poops,"
517
00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:20,533
'cause most days, I don't,
and that's a problem.
518
00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,535
Ew. Okay, enough.
519
00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:24,329
Look...
520
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:26,873
you can find a
problem in any book,
521
00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:30,043
but there are so many
ideas in these books
522
00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:32,379
that your children
will never experience
523
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:35,715
or learn from if you
don't let them read.
524
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:38,259
Yeah, like, in the last chapter
of "The Sassy Wizard Kid,"
525
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:39,677
he was going to
give up on magic,
526
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:41,763
but then he used the
Groweth Mindsetius spell
527
00:19:41,764 --> 00:19:43,473
to defeat the Dour Candy Lady.
528
00:19:43,474 --> 00:19:47,018
So, wait. These books
are teaching kids
529
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,478
about having a growth mindset?
530
00:19:48,479 --> 00:19:49,646
Yes!
531
00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:52,107
Oh. Groweth Mindsetius.
532
00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:53,441
I get it now.
533
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:54,943
That wizard kid is deep.
534
00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:58,113
Yeah, well, I just didn't
want my kid reading something
535
00:19:58,114 --> 00:20:00,281
that taught her how to be
disrespectful to adults.
536
00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:01,658
Then talk to her.
537
00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:03,910
Yeah. Have a
conversation. Hmm.
538
00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:05,286
Like the one we're
having right now.
539
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:07,080
And I've had Tamika in my class.
540
00:20:07,081 --> 00:20:08,331
She's smart.
541
00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:10,667
She can handle a
conversation. Can.
542
00:20:10,668 --> 00:20:14,671
And I bet that she could also
handle "The 48 Laws of Power."
543
00:20:15,798 --> 00:20:17,632
Alright, alright.
Just stop it.
544
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:20,969
Alright, Law 39, "Stir
up water, catch fish."
545
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:22,429
I'mma let y'all chew on that.
546
00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,764
Well, I guess I may have
taken this a little too far.
547
00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:27,142
Duh. My bad.
548
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:30,311
I'll talk to Tamika, and...
549
00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:33,648
we should reopen the library
without outside interference.
550
00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:35,191
Hallelujah!
551
00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:38,528
And I've got a book that
all of y'all can read next!
552
00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:39,821
Run before she start
quoting, y'all!
553
00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:40,780
- Ms.
- Meeting adjourned.
554
00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:41,781
I'm out of here.
555
00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:47,537
"With the strength of an Unc
making ribs on Father's Day,
556
00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:51,499
the sassy wizard kid raised
his magic incense stick
557
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:55,128
and remembered his father's
lesson from the barber shop."
558
00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:56,588
Oh, this my favorite part!
559
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:58,256
I know y'all on the edge of
your edges because... Shh!
560
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:02,051
"'So, you got to check yourself
561
00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:04,971
before you wreck yourself.'
562
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:08,933
And he cast his final spell."
563
00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:10,852
Mom, can we leave now?
564
00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:12,771
Oh, almost done. Shh!
565
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:14,439
My B, my B. Allies should
be seen, not heard. Yeah.
566
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:15,440
And...
567
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:18,193
"Al-la-ka-zip-ya-lip!"
568
00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:22,155
The end.
569
00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:28,579
...Captions by VITAC...
40705
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