Original subtitles

♪♪

♪ It's gonna get a little weird ♪

♪ Gonna get a little wild ♪

♪ I ain't from round here ♪

♪ I'm from another dimension ♪

♪ It's gonna get a little weird ♪

♪ Gonna have a good time ♪

♪ I ain't from round here ♪

♪ I'm from another woo-hoo! ♪

♪ Yea-ah ♪

♪ I'm talking rainbows ♪

♪ I'm talking puppies ♪

♪ Puh-puh-puh-puh-puh- puh-puh-puuuhh ♪

♪ It's gonna get a little weird ♪

♪ Gonna get a little wild ♪

♪ I ain't from round here ♪

♪ I'm from another dimension ♪

♪ Perfect Princess Moon ♪

♪ She's great in every way ♪

♪ Everything she says and does is absolutely right ♪

♪ Her hair is silky soft ♪

♪ Her favorite color's pink ♪

♪ She flosses every day and she never needs to sleep! ♪

♪ The perfect Princess Moon She's nice in every way ♪

♪ Always in a sunny mood Even on the cloudy days. ♪

♪ Her sugar-coated heart of gold ♪

Will make everything fine ♪

♪ She plays with puppies and kisses kitty-cats ♪

♪ Eats her veggies and Smells like lavender ♪

♪ Perfect Princess Moon ♪

♪ She's a fan of smiles ♪

♪ Perfect Princess Moon

♪ Will be our Que-ee-e-e-e-een! ♪

Ugghh! Mom!

Worst. Song. Ever.

Do I have to have one of those written about me?

Yes, Star. It's a tradition as old as the kingdom itself.

And it's your official introduction as Future Queen to the people of Mewni.

That song didn't say anything about the real you.

You could plug any name into that song

and it wouldn't make a lick of difference.

How about Buttercup! Sparkle! Snowflake!

They all happen to love puppies and smell like lavender? Wow.

I don't have time for this, Star.

Preparations for your Song Day celebration are already underway,

and the new official Songstrel of Mewni

is heading to Earth to write your song as we speak.

Hmmmmm.. fine.

And remember, Star, the people of Mewni

like their Princess Songs light and fluffy.

Can you handle that?

Yes, Mom.

Oh, I can handle it--

by avoiding this problem until it goes away.

( laser puppies "barking" )

Moon, please. If I can't talk you out of going,

at least take a bunch of our knights with you!

I told you, River,

this has to stay low-key, under the radar.

Besides, I've been there before.

It's perfectly safe.

The Forest of Certain Death is not safe!

And likely nothing on Mewni is as safe as it used to be.

I promise you, I can handle myself.

( smooch )

Hold down the castle until I return.

Can't you just take one little night?

(echoing) At least call me when you get there!

( whoosh )

( doorbell rings )

Haha. The Songstrel.

Greetings, Princess Star!

I am Ruberiot.

♪ And may I just say ♪

♪ Though we have much to do ♪

♪ How much of a pleasure it is to meet you ♪

♪ How great-- ♪ Stop. I get it. Come in.

So, this shouldn't take too long.

I just want to get to know the real Star.

Oh, how rude of me! Ha ha ha!

I didn't even offer you anything.

What can I get you? Water? Juice? Tea?

Ha. Well, if you have mint tea, that might be--

As a matter of fact, we do!

Marco is a member of the Tea of the Month Club,

and I think we just got some super-special mint tea.

Right, Marco?

Don't move!

Tea of the Month Club?

( thwack )

( clatter )

Should be just a minute!

( clank )

( clatter continues )

♪♪

( playing blue licks )

( penguin tittering )

Ooh, this tea is real good!

( blender whining )

Hey, Star!

Cloudy! Let's get out of here.

Hey, Janna Banana, want to go to the mall?

( ominous, droning sounds )

( whinnies )

Easy, girl. Almost there.

MALE VOICE: What is it?

Hello, Lord Brudo.

Huh? Queen Moon. Hmph.

What do you want?

I need to speak with you. It's very important.

(grumbles) Step back.

( unlocking door )

Hmm.

Ahem. You--you coming here to what?

Eh, you're--you're blocking the door.

I'll move. Geez.

( clangs )

Not even gonna pick up a guy's crown for him.

(grumbling) My dear, we have company.

You may want to get dressed.

Oh, Queen Moon!

To what do we owe the, uh, honor of this visit?

I'm sorry to intrude. Please accept this bag of corn.

BRUDO: Corn?! We don't need corn!

We're doing great, thanks!

But perhaps we can find someone else who could use it!

So, what brings you here, Queen Moon?

I'm here because your son took a very important book from my family.

My son? Which one?

Crudo? Uh, no.

Not Yudo! Hunh-uh.

Menudo? Uh, nope.

Ugh. Okay, I'm just gonna go down the list.

Dudo, Kudo, Mudo, Tudo,

Fudo, Zudo, Udo... I have no idea who that is.

Not Dennis!

No, no, it's...it's Ludo.

(gasps) Ludo?!

Well, we don't say that name in this house anymore!

Not since he and his goons took over our castle and changed the locks

when we were on vacation!

Not that this place isn't lovely...

Do you know where he is now?

We don't.

You know, he is a grave disappointment to us.

BRUDO: Well, what do you expect?!

We had a lot of kids. Ludo was the runt.

He didn't even fit in our family portrait.

We were extra hard on him to toughen him up.

And look what happened!

Was he grateful? No!

Instead, he destroyed our ancestral home

and brought shame on the family name.

There, there.

We can't always control the path our children choose to take.

Thank you, Lord and Lady Avarius.

If you hear from Ludo, please let me know.

SONGSTREL: ♪ Where is Princess Star? ♪

♪ Has she traveled far? ♪

♪ I am very musically skilled ♪

♪ But if I don't write this I'll surely be ki-- ♪

( door opens ) Hey!

BOTH: You're back!

You're still here!

Well, good-bye.

Please! Princess!

I have a job to do,

and I can't leave until it's done.

And I won't stay until you're gone.

But...what about your Song Day celebration?

In just a day, the people of Mewni will be expecting us

to perform this traditional Princess Song-- Ah-ah-ah!

I don't want to hear it, Songstrel.

If you don't leave right now, maybe I'll leave for good.

Hey, Star!

Before you leave us alone again--

for a very long time with no explanation--

could you help me make some more popcorn in the kitchen?

Kit-chen!

Please. Just do what he says.

He's been singing at me for eight hours, asking where you are!

Well, I'm sorry, but I don't want

anything to do with Ruberiot and his stupid Princess Songs.

My mom's was so stupid and so fake and so old-fashioned--

it's just not me.

It's okay, Star.

Everyone knows you're anything but ordinary.

Aww. Thanks, Marco.

Huuuugs.

He's, uh--

he's staring at us, isn't he?

Yup. Ugghh! Fine.

Ru-ber-i-ot,

if that even is your real name--

You. Me. My room. Talk time.

( rustling )

I know you're there.

Come on out, if you know what's good for you.

What do you want?

It's me. Dennis.

You were just at my house.

Why are you following me?

Are you looking for my big brother because you want to help him?

Help him what?

He's not well.

Do you know where he is?

I can take you to him.

Oh, uh-- What is this?

We must go by wing, M'lady.

Oh.

All right, then,

well, let me just-- hold on--

( gasping )

He's over there.

( angry squawking )

What is that?

( gasps )

What is it? We have to go.

We have to go now.

It's an honor to be your official songstrel, Your Highness.

I have some really exciting ideas

that I can't wait to get your opinion on.

Ruby, just stop.

Please. I know my mom sent you here,

but honestly, I am sorry, I can't help you.

Princess Songs are objectively awful.

They are these trite little puff pieces

about perfect little princesses with perfect little eyes,

and that's not me!

And songstrels like you are part of the problem!

Your music just puts pressure on future princesses to be perfect!

So you might as well take your stupid notebook

and your stupid lute and go back to Mewni,

because I have no interest in helping some stupid hack

write a stupid Princess Song!

Oh, really? Yeah, really!

Fine. But for what it's worth,

I also think the songstrels before me were hacks.

You didn't think I had an opinion?

That maybe I had some integrity?

I wanted to write a real song about a real princess,

with all her gifts and flaws.

Don't Mewmans deserve to know their future queen?

(choking up) But you won't even help me do my job!

(sniffling) I might as well just take your mom's song

and just plug your name in and be done with it!

You know, like some kind of hack?

Wait! Ah, no! No, no, no, no, no!

Ruby!

( whinnies )

DENNIS: So, can you help him?

I'll...I'll do what I can.

RUBERIOT: ♪ Perfect Princess Star ♪

♪ Is great in every way ♪

Hmm. ♪ Perfect Princess Star's is-- ♪

Argggh!

It's so awful!

( discordant note clusters ) ♪ Stupid, stupid song ♪

♪ Why do I even try? ♪

Face it, Ruberiot.

You are a hack like all the rest.

You'll never amount to anything!

Whoa. So you're, like, a totally tortured artist.

Cool!

That is a lot of paper

just to plug a name into a previously existing song.

What do you want?!

You, uh, you forgot your stupid notebook.

Ruberiot, do you really hate Princess Songs as much as I do?

I do, Princess.

I thought I could change them.

I-I know they can be better. I can do better.

But the show is tomorrow, and I have nothing.

If I go out there with your mom's old song,

I'll be just as bad as all the others.

Arrgh, this is bad.

Why did I drop out of lawstrel school?

Good-bye, aspirations, hello, flipping cornburgers.

Ruberiot, nothing is that bad when you have a magic wand.

How about you and I turn this silly tradition into something real?

Oh, darling! You're back!

You're wearing that to Star's Song Day?

(gasps) Song Day.

( music, conversation )

Get your corn slaw here!

We got corndogs, kettle corn, bacon-wrapped corn...

Get your exclusive Star Butterfly merch here!

( King panting )

(sighs) Whew. Okay. We made it.

Oh, you lost one of your curlybadoos, dear.

STAR: Hey, everyone!

Mom, hi! Hey, Queen.

Oh, my gosh, I had the worst wardrobe malfunction.

Do you know how hard it is to find a decent shoulder tassel in an Earth mall?

Oh. Hey. You got a little thingy in your hair.

A what? A little thingy-thing.

Oh. Thank you, dear. How'd that get there?

Star, I want to tell you something.

I know it's not very princess-like to show up late,

but did you see traffic on the Royal Mile?

Please, let me finish.

I just want to say how-- how proud I am of you.

What?

I know Princess Songs aren't exactly your cup of tea,

and I know I can be... hard on your sometimes,

so it means a lot to me that you still went through with it.

Thanks, Mom, but, uh...

just so you know, Ruby and me,

we kinda changed some stuff.

I mean, it's just not gonna sound exactly like your Princess Song did.

So, you know, don't freak out or anything.

Thank you for telling me, Star,

but I trust your judgment.

Oh, thank you!

But we really went off-script.

It's all good, but there might be, like--

EMCEE: And now, Mewni's newest court composer,

the songstrel Ruberiot...

...in honor of the Royal Family...

I really hope you like it.

I think I know you will, but I really hope you do.

...presents Star Butterfly's Princess Song!

♪♪

♪ Who is the maid with the buttercup hair? ♪

♪ Who sleeps on moonbeams and dances on air ♪

♪ With tears made of honey and a heart full of bunnies ♪

♪ Whose infinite virtues are known near and far ♪

♪ It's Mewni's own sweetheart, our dear Princess Star ♪

( lute continues )

♪ And under the shimmer and rubies and pearls ♪

♪ Lies hidden a fierce and adventurous girl ♪

♪ The forces of evil that lurk in the night ♪

♪ Will cower in fear when this shooting Star... ♪

♪ Ignites!!! ♪

( all gasp )

♪ ( propulsive rock beat ) ♪

♪ Weaving magic like a born spell-caster ♪

♪ And wreaking havoc like a natural disaster ♪

♪ She rocks her Narwal Blast ♪

♪ And Warnicorn stampede ♪

♪ She's gonna earn her crown ♪

♪ So hail to the Que-e-e-e-e-en! ♪

( fireworks explode ) ( all cheering )

♪ She's a rebel Princess, she's the best ♪

♪ She's a bolt of lightning in a hot pink dress ♪

♪ She's a thunderstorm roaring through the night ♪

♪ She's a shooting star ♪

♪ And she's lighting up the sky ♪

♪ Oooh ♪

Yeah! That's my girl!

What a delightful little ditty!

Good job, Star!

Uh, right. It's not over yet.

( slow, heavy beat ♪

♪ Shooting Star shining in the night so bright ♪

♪ She started to attract a pair of envious eyes ♪

♪ The villain rose up from behind the jester's cross ♪

♪ She drove him away, but didn't know what she had lost ♪

♪ Glossaryck and her book of spells ♪

♪ How could she know Ludo would take 'em for himself? ♪

♪ She confessed to her parents, all full of dread ♪

♪ The King and Queen exchanged a look

♪ And this is what they said ♪

♪ This is what they said, this is what they said ♪

♪ We will keep your silence for you ♪

♪ From the citizens of Mewni and the High Commission too ♪

♪ To keep the peace we will play the game ♪

♪ Royal secret from Royal shame ♪

♪ Royal secret... ♪ Star?

(Star makes choking noises)

Star.

Mom, what did you expect?

I told you I couldn't do some puff piece.

I had to do what felt right for me.

Look, it's over now, so we just gotta move on--

Oooh. What?

♪ Royal secret -- one last to tell -- ♪

♪ A princess under true love's spell ♪

( gasps ) Wait, is that me?!

Unhh. Ruberiot never told me about this part!

♪ Who is the boy in the Earthly attire? ♪

♪ The Prince of the Princess's deepest desire ♪

♪ I don't need to show it, I think we all know it ♪

♪ But just to be certain I'll say it again ♪

♪ Star Butterfly is in love with her best friend ♪

♪ And his name is Marco Diaz. ♪

Oh, no.

♪ Forever... ♪

♪ ...more! ♪

( panting )

( confused chatter )

What's wrong? You're supposed to be clapping!

Say what?! The Queen lied to us!

Well, technically, it was a lie by omission.

Omitters! Boo!

( angry yelling )

( crowd booing )

(angry yelling)

Mom! I---

I didn't realize this would happen!

I thought they wanted to know the real Star Butterfly!

They don't, Star.

They just want to believe that you're a perfect little Princess.

And sometimes, the truth is dangerous.

HEKAPOO: With all due respect, Moon,

withholding information about Glossaryck and the spell book

has put us all in danger!

( bleating )

Uh, yeah! Like the goat said!

I assure you, I had every intention--

Every intention of what?!

I had everything under control!

How dare you hide something like that?!

QUEEN: I wasn't trying to hide anything!

( argument continues )

Uh...so--

Hold that thought, Marco.

Hey, Star!

Hey, Cloudy.

Let's, uh, get out of here.

♪ I think Earth is a pretty great place ♪

♪ That's saying something, cuz I been through outer space ♪

♪ I think it suits me, it's just my style ♪

♪ I think I'm gonna stay a little while ♪

♪ I think that strangers are just friends you haven't met ♪

♪ I'm blasting monsters and I never break a sweat ♪

♪ I'm really thinking I could call this place home ♪