Original subtitles

♪♪

♪ It's gonna get a little weird ♪

♪ Gonna get a little wild ♪

♪ I ain't from 'round here ♪

♪ I'm from another dimension ♪

♪ Gonna get a little weird ♪

♪ Gonna have a good time ♪

♪ I ain't from 'round here ♪

♪ I'm from another, woo-hoo ♪

♪ Yeh-heah ♪

♪ I'm talking rainbows ♪

♪ I'm talking puppies ♪

♪ Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ It's gonna get a little weird ♪

♪ Gonna get a little wild ♪

♪ I ain't from 'round here ♪

♪ I'm from another dimension ♪

Honey, you've got to try the jumbo megafowl.

It's so moist.

It just melts in your mouth.

You haven't touched a thing. What's wrong?

( sighs heavily ) I just can't stop thinking

about what happened to Glossaryck.

So? He's gone.

Good riddance, I say.

Little guy always creeped me out.

But Star is all alone on Earth now

at a crucial point in her training.

We may need to consider...

bringing her back to Mewni.

What?

Oh, but she's in the middle of school.

We can't disrupt her life like that.

Then that leaves us no choice but to have her evaluated.

No, no, no, no. No, no.

What other options do we have?

I can't stand that stupid...

I say no.

No!

Curse you, you wretched monster!

No, no, no, wait. Can we talk about this?

I don't wanna go in the secret closet.

Why is everything such a mess?

No, Star. No, no, no!

Oh, hey, Star...

It's time for you to hide now.

Mystic room suck transform!

Food's ready.

Great. Put it on the table.

Whoa. Why is your room so clean?

I have to make a good impression.

Not a chew toy.

I'm not ready. I'm not ready.

Can't believe this is happening.

Ready for what?

Being e-v-a-l-u-a-t-e-d.

E-v... Ooh! Evaluated.

Wait, why are we spelling words instead of saying them?

Yeah, that sounded kinda weird when it came out of my mouth.

Anyway, my mom is sending someone

to see how far along in my magic training I am

since I got to Earth. ( nervous giggle )

That doesn't sound so bad.

Oh, sweet, simple Marco.

- If I fail, I could get sent back to Mewni. - What?!

Which is why I need to clean, and you need to cook.

Whoa!

It's her!

- Hello. - BOTH: Awww.

I'm here to evaluate a one Star Butterfly.

I'm a one Star Butterfly.

And you must be Baby.

Oh. Food.

Yes, I prepared this spread for you, Miss Baby.

Please help yourself...

More, please.

That took me all day to make.

Please.

I would love to make you more.

So, Your Baby-ness,

how does this evaluation work?

How do you think it should work?

Uh, I don't know.

I could show you my room.

Okay.

So, this is my room.

Really?

Oh, yeah, and it's pretty much always this clean.

I'm super organized.

- What's that? - What's what?

Oh, that!

You were supposed to hide.

Oh, that's just Beanbag.

Come say hi, Beanbag.

Beanbag, say hi to Baby.

Uh, crud.

Hmm. Interesting.

( nervous laugh ) Uh, yeah. Totally.

Hey, maybe we should go downstairs and check on Marco.

You know, see how the snacks are coming.

What's that?

Oh, oh, that.

Oh, no. ( chuckles )

No, nothing. That's my secret closet.

Boring.

For things that, you know,

I don't want people to...

No, wait! Don't!

Interesting.

You... you think that's interesting?

Oh, yes.

Very interesting.

Very interesting.

Hey, Baby, wanna see my wand?

Hm. It looks so different from your mom's.

Yeah, it's cool, right?

Wait right there.

I have something else to show you.

You're gonna love it.

This is something I have been working very hard on.

My own spell book.

Oh. That looks interesting, too.

Really?

I made it myself.

Huh. Interesting.

Yeah, isn't it pretty?

I only used, like, five pounds of glitter.

Who wants refreshments?

How's it going?

Interesting.

What does that mean?

I don't know, but go get more food.

Yeah, yeah, okay. More food.

Now, Ms. Butterfly, how is your spell casting?

My spells? Oh, they're great.

My spells are awesome.

Good.

Would you bring me that apple, please?

What apple?

- Oh, sure. - No.

I mean, bring me that apple, please, with magic.

Oh, right. No, of course.

( blows raspberry ) Star.

Narwhal blast.

- Not quite. - Oh, no?

I want a whole apple,

not an apple with a hole.

Try again.

Oh! Oh, oh, oh. Gotcha.

Oh, totally.

No problem at all.

Totally. That is totally something I am capable of doing.

Winter storm hyper blow.

Did you want that damaged or undamaged?

Undamaged it is. Right, of course.

Makes sense.

Mystic suck portal.

All right, that's enough practice.

Here it comes.

This time for real.

Wet ceiling.

( speaking indistinctly )

Okay, seriously. I swear.

I can do this.

It just does that sometimes.

Let me try again.

No need. I've seen everything I need to see.

Thank you.

B-b-but, hey.

How'd I do?

Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

Uh, you failed. Good-bye.

What? Failed?

So this was all just a waste of time?

Princess, would you like me to read you

the results of my evaluation?

Let's see.

Tells me you have a closet full of secrets.

But what does that have to do with...

While under your care, your wand,

the single most important heirloom of the Butterfly dynasty,

was broken.

You lost the sacred book of spells,

and replaced it with a college-ruled notebook.

And lastly, your spell casting

is so undisciplined and unstructured,

that you're incapable of performing basic magic.

You can't even bring me an apple.

Who wants sandwiches?

Get out!

Your Highness, you failed.

No, no, no.

If I failed, that means I have to go home.

That's not my problem.

Good-bye, princess.

It's perfect.

Does this mean she gets to stay?

Ah! I knew you'd do great.

Thanks, Marco.

( sighs )

Well, she has a closet full of secrets,

a broken wand,

a notebook containing her own spells,

and she doesn't know basic magic.

So she failed.

Ow!

No, my queen.

Star is nowhere near your skill level at her age.

She's far beyond it.

But I haven't seen anything like this...

since Queen Eclipsa.

Monster love.

( gasps )

( yells )

Not now, puppy.

( yells )

I should be safe under here.

( barking )

What?

( growls )

Whee!

( groans )

( makes shooting noises )

I'll get you, tennis ball.

Hey, can I borrow your dimensional scissors for a second?

- Yeah, sure. Whatever. - Thanks.

All right, guys.

Who's ready for a walk?

Come on, puppies.

Whew. Problem solved.

Hmm.

Here you go.

Sir?

( belches )

Ah, feels good, man.

So far.

What?

Where did you get these?

Seriously, fleshwad. Talk.

Uh, well,

I'm borrowing them from a friend

who may or may not be Star Butterfly.

Wrong answer.

I'm the forger of all dimensional scissors.

Each pair is made specifically for the entity who earns them.

Lady, I can't read that.

It's me. That's my name.

Hek-a-poo. Hekapoo.

You humans are lame times a thousand.

Boop.

I don't care whose name is on them.

I borrowed them from Star and I'm returning them.

And how do you propose you're going to get them back?

Well, I'll earn them like you said...

( laughing )

That's rich.

I'm serious.

I'll have you know I have a red belt in karate.

This should be amazing.

Okay. All you have to do is blow out this flame.

Really? No problem.

What the...

That's one.

Hey.

That's two.

( laughing )

Bye-bye.

HEKAPOO: She doesn't have the scissors,

and you're gonna have to blow out a whole lotta flames

to find them.

Are you looking for these, dum-dum?

( all taunting )

Ow! You're burning me a bald spot.

I don't have time for this.

HEKAPOO: It may take days, months,

even lifetimes. ( laughs )

I don't think you have the goods to do it.

Go home to your stinky dirt rock, little boy.

I don't care how long it takes.

I'm getting those scissors.

Oh, dang it.

Good boy, Joffrey.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Rainbow diaper blast!

Not cool, bub.

Take it easy, man.

This new dog park is really confusing.

Dog park?

Oh, Marco!

Why did you... Oh, no.

He's gone scissor happy.

( dogs barking, girl yelling )

Okay, puppies, time to come home.

( barking )

Oh, Marco, Marco, Marco.

Oh!

Oh, this does not bode well.

( vibrating )

Hey, girl, I'm doing my cardio.

Okay, hold up. I'm gonna put it on an incline.

Okay, girl, what's good?

Okay, so Marco opened a bunch of portals

with my scissors and one of them looks like this.

Oh, snap, that's bad!

Yeah, that's what I thought.

The red portal is Hekapoo.

You need to get away from it, and if she asks,

you do not tell her you got those scissors from me, okay?

Wait. I thought Hekapoo gave you those scissors.

I mean, yeah, she left the scissors in the bathroom

at the Bounce Lounge, and what happened then

was I took them, so yeah, basically, they're mine.

What? No, Pony, that's stealing.

Uh, I'm pretty sure that's called finding.

Okay, so is Marco in trouble?

You know what? He's probably dead.

That Hekapoo chick is crazy, man.

Oh, boy. All right, I'll talk to you later, girl.

Bye-eee!

I'm coming, Marco.

( raucous squawk )

( sneezes )

- Dude, watch it. - Sorry.

Oh, incoming!

Oh, dude, it's on.

Hey-yah!

Ha ha!

Oh, man.

So it all comes down to this.

Sixteen years.

A lot of clones.

Seemed to go by... ( snaps fingers ) like that.

I finally tracked you down, Hekapoo.

Yep, it's the real me.

No more clones, so...

Who's a little boy now?

This is the part where you blow out my flame?

Ha. You barely escaped me on the exploding plains of Flendar.

When I lost your trail in the mist of the Never Zone,

I thought I'd never find you.

After spending a few years infiltrating a cloister of monks,

I acquired some ancient texts

which led me to dimensional scholars

who taught me to translate their language.

After that, it was a simple matter of surviving

the Afflicted Forest and ending up right at your door.

Not bad for a human.

You truly earned these.

I underestimated you.

Hekapoo, where's Marco?

Star!

( groaning )

Unhand me, beautiful stranger.

How do you know my name?

It's me, Marco. See?

Marco?!

Marco!

Oh, man, we have so much to catch up on.

I've learned how to sword fight...

( Marco continues indistinctly )

Then I jet-skied off a waterfall.

- Isn't that cool? - What?

Oh, check it out!

It took me 16 years,

but I totally earned these scissors.

Wait, 16 years?

You've been gone from Earth for, like, eight minutes.

Eight minutes?

Yeah, I forgot to tell you that time passes differently

in this dimension. Not sorry.

No, no, no. This is good.

It means you haven't missed anything back on Earth.

Come on. Use your new scissors to take us home.

Yeah, about that.

I don't think I'm coming back.

Turns out I really like my new life here.

I got my sword, my dragon cycle.

I get to ride around all day and go on adventures

whenever I want.

It's the journey, you know.

Yeah, that dragon cycle is really dope.

No, wait, wait.

What about your parents,

or your friends... or me?

Don't look at me.

Those scissors are yours now.

You can come back here any time you want.

Please. Take care of Nachos while I'm gone.

She's in good hands.

Adios, boo-boo.

Well, old friend, you really gave me a run for my money.

Likewise.

You're pretty cool. ( laughs )

Thanks.

- Bye. - Later, H-poo.

Don't call me that!

( yells ) Oh.

No! My hot bod!

Where did it go?

Squish.

Oh, I guess you're back on Earth's timeline now.

But look on the bright side.

You still have your bald spot.

Seriously?! That's the thing that stayed the same?

( Hekapoo laughing )

You got the mark of Hekapoo, son!

Okay, bye-bye.

Hey, who cares if you're 14 again?

That just means we have more time to go on adventures together.

Especially now that you have your own scissors.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Of course I am. Now I'm gonna go make us some nachos.

"Password"?

I don't remember my password.

( sighs )

Mmm. Still warm.

( barking and whimpering )

All right. Let's go for a walk.

♪ I think Earth is a pretty great place ♪

♪ That's saying something ♪

♪ 'Cause I've been through outer space ♪

♪ I think it suits me, it's just my style ♪

♪ I think I'm gonna stay a little while ♪

♪ I think that strangers are just friends ♪

♪ You haven't met ♪

♪ I'm blasting monsters and I never break a sweat ♪

♪ I'm really thinking I could call this place home ♪