All language subtitles for The Bashful Bachelor

[MUSIC]

-And so the black knight
and the captive maiden

were married and live
happily ever after.

Oh, wasn't he wonderful.

-Gotta get it fixed.

Gotta get it fixed.

-You got to get what
fixed, Mr. Edward?

-Well this dad blamed helmet--
oh, excuse me Ms. Geraldine.

That's interesting,
awful interesting.

-You you the black knight
looks something like you,

Mr. Edward, sort of there.

-Oh I don't know if I'd go so
far as to say that, hardly.

-Oh.

-10 o'clock, latest I've kept
you up in years, goodness.

-I guess you forgot about 1935.

You stayed 'til 12, remember?

-Oh, yeah.

New Year's Eve.

Yeah, I never got to bed
until 12:15 that night.

So you think I look
like a knight, huh?

-Yes Mr. Edward.

-Well, goodnight Ms. Geraldine.

-Oh, Mr. Edward,
you've been trying

to go out that door for years.

-I know.

Silly, ain't it?

Now I can ride a horse
alright, Ms. Geraldine,

but I don't know about
one of them steeds.

-On the way home
tonight, if you should

meet a damsel in
distress, I trust

you'll draw your
sword in her defense.

-Why you bet your life
I'll draw my sword in her--

-Come out of there
and fight like an man.

Sir Desmond, stand up there
and fight, you coward.

-Ain't nobody named Sir
Desmond living around here.

-Oh, howdy Newt.

-Hello Lum, what are
you doing out there?

-Why I was, just looking
for my dog, Sir Desmond.

You ain't saw him, have you?

-No, I didn't see him.

-Come on, Sir Desmond.

Come on boy.

Here Sir Desmond, come on boy.

-That's s funny name for a dog.

-No sir, I tell you,
Mr. Dilbeck, Lum just

don't understand me,
that's his trouble.

I never know I was gonna get
into all this kind of trouble

when I traded for that
momma and papa rabbit.

Get back now, get back.

I'll have your house
fixed for you in a minute.

He just won't [INAUDIBLE].

Well--

-Good morning, Abner.

-Morning, Marjorie.

-Good morning, Mr. Dilbeck.

-What you got there,
one of my rabbits?

-This young man
was running away.

-Well as fast as I build
a house, they outgrow it.

Now get back in there with
your momma where you belong.

-And what does Mr. Dilbeck
think about the rabbit?

-Oh, he feels like
Lum, I reckon,

that I ought to
quit trading too.

-But you have quit, haven't you?

-Well, now Marjorie, you know
can't stop something like that

all of a sudden.

A fellers got to sort
of taper off on that.

-Abner Peabody, have you broken
your promise to Lum again?

-Marjorie, you
know good and well

that old delivery car was
falling all to pieces.

-Don't tell me you've
stopped the delivery car?

-Well, at least a horse
don't drink gasoline.

-A horse?

But a horse, does
he pay in grain?

-Well, yeah, but when I
thought of that done went.

-And who is they?

-Oh, a bunch of gypsy's
that come and-- oh, wait

a minute, wait a
minute, here comes Lum.

Don't say another word.

Don't tell him, I got to break
this to him sort of gradual.

-Don't worry, this
is one fight that I

don't want to be in the middle.

Good morning Lum.

-Oh, morning Marjorie.

Morning, Abner.

-Morning, Lum.

-Abner I sort of
want to talk to you.

-Well, sure.

Ain't nothing wrong, is it?

-Well, no.

But did you ever stop
to think that nothing

ever happens here in Pine Ridge?

That is, nothing very exciting.

For incidence, here we've
been running this store here

for years and we never
even had a robbery.

We're gonna find
ourselves in a run.

-Ain't never had a robbery?

How about the time
I catch little

Gomer Bates sneaking out
of here with a double hand

full of candy.

Jawbreakers I believe it was.

-Well, a body can't
make a hero out

of himself catching
little Gomer Bates.

-Well, no, but who
wants to be a hero?

-Well, that's sort of what I
wanted to talk to you about.

Last night Ms. Geraldine--

-Oh.

-Well now if you're going to do
the talking, go ahead and talk.

-I guess that old.

-What do you mean old?

-Well, just saying old I reckon.

-You're always saying that.

How you gonna help me be a hero,
just standing there saying old?

-Well, I see, you
want me to help

you make a hero out of yourself.

What in the tarnation for?

-Well, she was reading out
of the book, Ms. Geraldine.

Tales all about them knights
and maidens and all that stuff,

and, well, I just thought maybe
if I could make a hero out

of myself, maybe, maybe I
could get her to marry me.

Now laugh, dad blame you.

-I know that I just
can't help it, Lum.

So after all these
years you're finely

going pop the question, huh?

-Well, she's a mighty
fine little woman, Abner.

Might fine little woman.

-Oh, yes, she's a
fine woman all right.

While I don't think she's stout
enough to do the milking, chop

the wood, such as is a woman's
work, well she is a fine woman.

-I thought they ought
to be some way you could

help me make a
hero out of myself.

Instead of wasting your
time swapping for these dad

blame rabbits and that no
good dog, where ever he's at.

What's he chewing up now?

-Lum, I know you never liked
him so I got rid of him.

Sold him this morning.

-Well good for you.

What'd you get for him?

-A hundred dollar.

-Hundred dollars for
that dad dang dog?

-I done it.

-Where abouts is the money?

-Why, uh, back in the shed.

-Back there in the shed?

That's a fine place to leave a
hundred dollars laying around.

Come on, let's go get it.

-Well, now, wait a minute.

-Only good deal
you've made in years

and you have to leave the
money out here in the shed.

Wait a minute, what are
these dogs doing in here?

Where'd they come from?

-Well that's a
hundred dollars, Lum.

A fifty dollar momma dog,
and five, 10 dollar pups.

-Well, goodness sake.

I ought a know there was a
catch to it somewhere or other.

Got rid of one dog and got six--

[HORSE NEIGHING]

-What was that?

-I never hear nothing.

-Sounded like a horse.

-A horse?

Now what would a horse
be doing in here?

-I don't know but
I aim to find out.

-Uh, oh.

Here we go.

-My grannies, if that
ain't a horse, what is it?

-Huh?

I don't see nothing.

-Well open your eyes, over here.

-Huh?

Oh, my doggies, that does
look something like a horse.

Yes, sir, I believe
you're right, Lum.

That's what that is, sure
as the world, a horse.

-Cedric Wiehunt.

-Morning, Mr. Lum.

-What are you doing in there?

-Oh, I don't know,
Mr. Abner just

told me to stay in
here with the horse.

-Well, natural,
Lum, we had to have

somebody take care of the horse.

You admit that yourself.

-[INAUDIBLE] do goodness.

Swap for a no good
horse like this,

and then hire somebody
to take care of him.

Grannies, I've got headaches
enough without something

like this.

I laid awake all
night last night,

trying to figure out some way
to make a hero out of myself,

and you have to do this.

-Well, if that's all
that's wrong with you, just

a headache, I can
cure that for you.

-Ah grannies, wait a minute.

What ain't we got today,
that we had yesterday?

-Huh?

-What did you swap
for that horse?

-Oh, uh, uh, well now,
Lum, you said yourself,

that old delivery car was
just falling all to pieces.

-Deliver car?

You mean you swapped
it off for that horse?

-I must have.

-Ah, grannies, you just
take him back to wherever

you got him and
get our car back.

-Well, Lum, I don't
believe them gypsies

is coming back through here.

-Gypsies?

Why, grannies, you follow
them until you find them.

-Well, here, here,
take that Lum.

That will make you feel
better, I know it will.

-Is that the water you've
been giving the horse, Cedric?

-Yes, Lum.

But he's had all he wants.

-Go ahead and take it, Lum.

And Lum, if you would just
let me keep that horse,

now, I promise you
I'll never make

another trade as long as I live.

-Nothing doing.

-I'll do anything
you want me to do.

Anything if you let me keep him.

-Now grannies, wait a minute.

I'll let you keep him one way.

-What's that?

-If you'll promise to help
me make a hero out of myself.

-Why, sure I will.

Anything you want me to do.

-All right, grannies,
put her there.

-Well when do we start?

-Well, let's go in the store
and figure the thing out.

-Yeah.

Cedric, you take good care
of my horse for me now.

-Mr. Abner, do I have to stay
with the horse all the time?

I didn't get a wink
of sleep last night.

He snores.

-Oh, well, uh, make
him sleep on his back,

Cedric, that'll stop him.

-Yes Lum?

-Abner.

-Go Lum, if you're going to.

-I will, don't race
me, don't race me.

-Abner.

-I got you cornered
every way you go.

-Abner, are you going to
get me that stack of flower,

or ain't ya.

-Huh?

-Been waiting for a half hour.

-Oh, uh, we're plum
out of flour, Obadiah.

Why don't know you go over
to Dick Hutterson's store

there and get it.

He keeps good flour.

-Yes, and I bet
he wouldn't be too

darn lazy to get
it for me neither.

-By doggies, that Obadiah
getting grouchy here lately.

I don't believe
that feller's well.

-What's the idea telling a cash
customer we're out of flour?

-Well, Lum, if I got
the flour for him,

he'd wanted something else.

He'll stand there and
order stuff all day

if he wants to get started.

Move.

-Wait a minute, that's
our ring, ain't it?

-I don't know, I never
paid no attention.

Move.

Yep, yep, that's ours, I
know that ring anywhere.

-I thought it was.

-Well move one Lum.

-Well, let's see.

By grannies I'll put a stop
to that ringing anyway.

-That's [INAUDIBLE].

-Is this the
Jot-'em-Down town store?

-Uh, oh.

-Sounds like the
Widder Abernathy,

-Move.

-Well, I will, quick as
I figure this thing out.

-You just get away from that
checker board, Lum Edwards.

-How'd she know we's
playing checkers?

She can't see through
that thing too, can she?

Hang it up!

-I will, quick as I move here.

-I want five pounds of apples.

Good apples.

-We ain't got-- we
ain't got no apples.

-And I want some cheese, about--

-No cheese.

-How can a fella concentrate
on a checker game

with that going on.

Hang it up.

-I ought to have that dead
blang thang took out of here.

-Or not to ever let them put
it in here to start with.

That's what we
ought to have done.

Hang it up.

Wrong number.

-Wait a minute, here comes
uncle Henry Lunsford.

Expect I better get
up and wait on him.

-Yeah, better, because he
feel sort of embarrassed

even coming in here,
owing us like he does.

-Well he ought not
to feel that way.

Grannies, he's had a lot of hard
luck at his place this year.

-Yeah don't mention
the bill to him.

-Well, good morning,
Uncle Henry.

-Morning, Lum.

-What can I do for you?

-I come to see you about
that bill I owe you.

-Oh, well, uh, me and
Abner just ain't got around

to making them bills
out yet this month.

-Been owing it to ya so long.

-Oh, tough, tough, tough, now.

What was you needing?

-Well, been needing
so many things

that we're plum out of flower.

-Flower?

-Yeah.

-Grannies, we got plenty of it.

Just got a fresh batch
in day before yesterday.

-Uh, Lum.

Get Uncle Henry to try out some
of them potatoes there for him.

Give him about a bushel of 'em.

-Oh, now, I don't
want you to do that.

-Why don't you go get the wagon
and drive around to the side

door there and
we'll load her up.

You'll be wanting to get some
feed anyway for the stock.

-If you insist.

-And, uh, here.

Take these cookies
to the young'uns, I

know they'll enjoy 'em.

-Oh, when those young'uns see
these cookies they'll be like

a bunch of hogs
under an acorn tree.

-Abner.

-Huh?

-Come on up here and help me.

Let's get a big basket
of stuff for him.

I know their plum
out of everything.

-Yeah, yeah, that's
a good idea, Lum.

-Wait a minute.

Grannies, here comes
the Widder Abernathy.

-All full of love and
matrimony as usual.

-I ought to hide what I ordered.

-No sir, you stay
here and wait on her.

You're the one
she's in love with.

Morning Widder.

-Morning.

Oh, there you are, Mr. Edwards.

You were so busy
when I called you.

I thought I better
begin this order.

Let me see, I want five
pounds of potatoes.

-Oh, the potatoes is
in Abner's department.

Uh, five pounds of
potatoes, Abner.

-Five pounds of spuds.

-And a package of macaroni.

-Abner handles the macaroni too.

Package of macaroni, Abner.

-Macaroni, check.

-Perhaps it'd be best,
after all if i just

left this list with you
and had you deliver it.

In person if you please.

Where are those children?

-Here we are.

-It's so hard for one little
woman to cope with them.

What they need is a
good, strong father.

Don't you think, Mr. Edwards?

-Uh, we'll get the groceries
over there some way

or other, Widder.

-Come children.

-What them kids need's
a good strong right arm.

-Why that little vermin.

-He done it on purpose too.

-Why, sure he did.

By doggies, I know that
ain't my department.

Go on, pick'em up, Lum.

-All right.

I'll straighten up the cans.

Here, you fill out
the grocery order.

-Hand me a sack of them potatoes
as you go by there, Lum.

By doggies, that woman's
going get you yet, Lum.

She's been trying to
marry you for years.

-Not if I'm in my
right mind she won't.

I'd just leave Mary a
bunch of poison ivy.

-Let's see, macaroni, yeah.

Uh, dog food, two cans.

Doggies must be
gonna have company.

Didn't she say
something the other day,

Lum, about her husband dying.

-Yeah that's what she claims.

I think she worried
him to death.

Down in Oklahoma I
believe she said it was.

-That's what it was.

Tulsa, Oklahoma.

That's what she said.

-He might a just run
off and left her.

I know that's what I'd a did.

-Howdy, Mr. Lum.

-Oh, hello Cedric.

-Well, what'd you
have, an accident?

-Yeah, one went through
here a few minutes ago.

Come on, pitch in, help me
straighten up these cans.

-Lum?

-Help me straighten
up these tomatoes.

-Well stack 'em up
there yourself, Cedric.

-Lum?

-Never mind, I'll do it myself.

-That old woman can throw
more stuff out the back door

than two men can carry into
the front to save their lives.

-Yeah, it's looking
alright, Cedric.

-Say here, Lum.

-What do you mean, here yer?

-The deliver for the
Widder Abernathy.

-Well take it on
over there then.

-You were the one she
wanted to bring it over.

-You was the one that
swapped off the deliver car.

-Now, Lum, you said you
wouldn't bring it up again.

-Go on take them
groceries over there.

-I'll take it over
for you, Mr. Edwards.

-No you don't, Cedric.

Make him do it.

By grannies maybe it'll
learn him to trading with

everybody that wants
to banter him .

Go on, take 'em over there.

-Dad blame it.

I always got to do all the work
that's did around this place,

I had to do it.

-Well, that's, that
get ya, Cedric.

Looks all right, don't it?

-Oh, there's one
more there, Mr. Lum.

-Oh, hand me--

Well I'll be dad blamed.

-Huh, I didn't aim to do that.

-I'm hungry.

-You're hungry?

If you don't quit
talking about eating I'm

going take a bite outta you.

Hey, nix it, comes a
guy down the street.

He's got a basket
of groceries, scram.

-Well thank you
very much doctor.

You've opened up a
new world for me.

-See if you can open up a
can of sardines some place.

Well good morning, good
morning, good morning, sir.

-Morning.

Doggie, that's pretty good
to keep three of them things

in the air at once,
you know what.

-Three?

I was juggling six balls.

-Six?

I never seen but three of 'em.

-Well if you can only see three
balls when I'm juggling six,

there must be something
wrong with your glasses.

Let me send you a pair of them.

-No, no.

I ain't got no money to
be buying nothing, no.

-Well, maybe we
could make a trade.

-Huh?

Trade?

-Yeah.

See you don't need cash.

We can trade the glasses for
whatever you've got in there.

What have you got there?

-Oh, just some groceries.

Potatoes, and
cookies, and butter,

and ham, and one thing another.

-Yeah.

Now you don't need cash.

You see, we're going
to make this trade.

-Well I don't much
believe I'd be

interested in buying no
glasses right at this time.

-I got to study up some way
another to make a hero out

of myself, so's I can
marry Ms. Geraldine.

Course she don't
know what a hero is.

-I do a done it.

I seen one at the opera house.

He saved the pretty lady.

-Saved her from what?

-An engine.

-What was he gonna
do, scalp her?

-No, a railroad engine.

She was tied onto the tracks
and he run in and untied her.

And, well, what do
you think she done?

-What'd she do?

Kiss him?

-Aw, shucks, you
seen it yourself.

But it made a big
hero out of him.

-Did, huh?

-Yes, Lum.

-By grannies, wait
a minute, Cedric.

I believe you give me an idea.

-Lum?

-How would you
like for me to save

you from a railroad engine?

-I don't think I'd like it.

-No that's right.

It ought to be somebody
more important.

-Yes, Lum.

-Somebody like, like Abner.

-Mr. Peabody, take these glasses
and put 'em in your pocket

as a memento of an
almost fatal mistake.

And put on these
glasses that are

going to help you immeasurably.

Look at the cross street please.

-Huh?

Oh.

Doggies, what do we
having, and earthquake?

-Earthquake?

Let me see those.

Oh yes, I see.

It needs a little crooked.

There we are.

Now then, look right
across street again.

-I believe you better
crimp 'em again.

They still ain't just right.

-Oh, they're all right.

You just read these
large letters here.

-You're awful
skinny, you know it?

-Well now, I keep
myself in good shape.

Good glasses will
keep you in shape.

-Well these must
be x-ray glasses.

I can see every
bone in your body.

-Every-- Oh, ho, ho, ho.

Beg your pardon that's
from the last time.

There we are.

Now, please read this letter.

-Uh, B.

-Very good.

-This?

-O.

-Very good.

And this?

-Uh, P.

-Perfect.

And this?

-That's another O, ain't it?

-That's fine.

And here?

-Uh, Y.

-Excellent.

And this?

-V.

-Correct.

A 100% correct as we say
in the optical world.

-Got 'em right, did I?

-You certainly did.

-Well, good for me.

What's that?

Oh, oh, yes sir, yes sir.

-Ah, the groceries
please, Mr. Peabody.

-Yep.

What's fair is fair, yes sir.

What is fair-- Here now.

Is proud I run into you
before it's too late.

Well, much obliged, doctor.

-Yes, Mr. Peabody.

What a blessing is clear vision.

-Oh, excuse me, ma'am.

Doggies, must've
rained last night.

-And we'll tie Abner
to the railroad track

and just as the train
gets right to him,

I'll run up there and untie
the ropes and save his life

and make a hero.

Wait a minute,
here he comes now.

Don't let on, Cedric.

Don't let on.

-Oh, you gentlemen
been waited on?

-Wait a minute, Abner,
what in the world's

the matter with you?

-Huh?

Is that you, Lum?

-Well I'll be dad blamed.

-What's going on here?

-All right, Cedric.

May as well start
stacking 'em up again.

-Lum.

Oh.

-Wait a minute.

Where abouts did you
get them spectacles?

-From a feller right
over there on the corner.

-Swine do goodness.

You needed new
glasses about like we

needed that horse
you swapped for.

-He give me an examination,
and I passed it, Lum.

And he let me have a pair.

I was needing 'em awful bad.

He said so himself.

-Where abouts is the basket?

-Huh?

-You swapped the Widder
Abernathy's groceries

for them things.

-Well, Lum, it ain't every day
a feller get a chance to be

fitted by an expert this a way.

-Where abouts is he at now?

-Right over there.

-By grannies, give
me them things.

-Wait a minute, what
you fixing to do, Lum?

-I'm gonna make him give
us them groceries back.

-Now wait a minute.

-And I'm going to
run him out of town

so fast he'll set
the woods on fire.

Come on, Cedric, I
might need your help.

-Well be that, a fine howdy do.

A fine how do you
do, I must say.

Oh, tomatoes are knocked down.

Knowed I believe I bit off more
than I should, you rabbits.

Got me building
pens, night and day.

[DOOR BELLS]

-Uh, oh.

Here comes Squire Skimp.

-Well, good morning, Abner.

How are you with this fine day?

-He's up to something.

Morning, Squire.

-Need this grocery
order to be filled.

-Well, much obliged to you.

-No, not at all.

Not at all.

I hear you and Lum
bought a horse?

-Well, we didn't exactly
buy him, but we got one.

-Race horse, is it?

-Oh, I don't know.

As far as I know
it's just a horse.

-Well I might take a
look at him and let

you know what kind
of a deal you made.

-Why, sure.

Be proud to get your
opinions on him.

He's back here in the shed.

Come on back.

-Oh, you have him here, eh?

-Yeah, yeah.

Wouldn't want to buy
some rabbit's cheese,

would ya, Squire.

-No, no.

I just had two when I started.

Yes sire, I believe
I made a good-- well,

Cedric tied him up out here.

Whoa boy.

There, Squire, look him over.

Stands as square on his
feet as a cook stove.

Ain't got a spur standing on
him no wheres as I could find.

Broad through the chest
as a wide oak stump.

Got a good look out of his eye.

How old you say he is, Squire?

-I'm afraid I couldn't
tell ya, Peabody.

Somebody's been doing a pretty
good of teeth filing there.

-They have, huh?

-Yeah, he's
practically worthless.

-You could be wrong
about that, uncle.

-What are you doing here?

-Oh, howdy, Marjorie.

-Hello, Abner.

I just dropped in
accidentally, same as you did.

He looks to me like he's
got some pretty parts.

-I repeat he's worthless.

Someone was telling me you were
thinking about entering him

into the company sweepstakes
at the fair next week.

But after looking him over,
it's my opinion, Abner,

you're too smart
to try to race him

against a horse
like my brown Bess.

-While I wasn't picking
on entering him.

Oh, a, well, you can't
tell about a horse

anyway, Squire,
until you try him.

-Oh, nonsense.

His conformation is all wrong.

Eh, what's his name?

-Well, I sorta
thinking a while ago,

Lum went so high when
I swapped for him,

I might just call him Skyrocket.

-Doesn't it look to you,
uncle, as if he might've

been sold at the Frank Williams
place, near Hot Springs?

-Oh, ridiculous.

Why that Williams stock is
a fine, stable horse place.

Why that [INAUDIBLE] run a lick.

-I'd like to ride
him sometime, Abner,

and see if he has any step.

And the Squire being a
sportsman, wouldn't want you

and Lum to pass up a
good bet, I'm sure.

-No, no, certainly
not, certainly not.

But you're just
wasting your time.

-Uh, oh.

Here comes Lum.

I hope he never hurt that feller
when he run him out of town.

Did you have to
fist fight him, Lum?

-No, uh, take off them glasses
and put 'em in your pocket

or throw 'em away or something
before they ruin your eyes.

-Huh?

-Here.

-Well, what's the matter?

Wouldn't he take 'em back?

-Well you can't expect him to
work right off the bat, Abner.

You got to let 'em
get used to your eyes.

He said to crimp 'em.

-Oh, well.

Uh, here, here, Lum.

He's an order for Squire Skimp.

If you put it out I'll
deliver it over there.

-Yeah.

Potatoes, onions, sugar, beets.

Wait a minute.

Here.

-Huh?

Oh you got a pair too, huh?

-Yep.

I had to get 'em, Abner.

I had to get 'em.

-Well I never know'd your
eyes is giving you trouble.

-Oh, yeah.

He says that might be what's
been causing me asthma.

-Well.

-Grannies, he don't
have to write so big,

I ain't hard of hearing.

Potatoes--

-Uh, oh, customer.

-Huh?

-Oh, come in, Cedric.

-Lum?

Oh, there you are,
way over yonder.

-What's the matter with him?

-Well, I believe Cedric's
bought some glasses too.

-Look out Cedric, don't
run over a feller.

-Mr. Lum?

Where are you, Mr. Lum?

-Here we are, Cedric.

Right here.

-Oh.

-Here, here, here we are.

-Mr. Lum you got the
longest arm I ever seen.

-Where you'd get
them spectacles?

-The eye doctor.

He said I looked more
distinguished looking

with 'em on.

-Well.

-By grannies, that's the biggest
horse I ever seen in my life.

-Where?

-Right up this way.

-Look out, she'll run over us.

-Oh, that's Marjorie
and Skyrocket.

You're a good boy,
Skyrocket, good boy.

Oh, excuse me, excuse me.

-Well what about him, Marjorie?

If you say enter him in the
county sweepstakes he goes.

-Yes, sir.

You're the boss.

-I'd like one or two
more days before I

give you a definite answer.

-Well, what's the matter,
ain't he fast enough?

Is that what you mean?

-No.

As a matter of fact, I
think he's about two seconds

to the mile faster
than Brown Bess.

-Well, what are we
waiting for then?

By grannies, I can't hardly
wait to see the expression

on the Squire's
face whenever he has

to hand that cup over to us.

-But it isn't that easy.

I hate to tell this, but
I'm afraid is a balker.

-He's a what?

-Um hmm.

He won't start.

Look, I'll show you.

-While I'll be dad blamed.

-Well didn't them
gypsies tell you

that whenever you
traded for him?

-No.

Well, now, come to think
of it, I believe he

they did say that sometimes
he stood awful quiet.

-Pick up that rope,
Lum, and stretch it

straight across the road.

-Huh?

Oh.

-Well no wonder he
balks, Marjorie,

if he's got to jump a
rope to get started.

-Well, let's try him.

-Oh, all right, let's go.

One, two, three.

-Go!

-Doggies he's out
of sight already.

Where'd he go?

-He never went.

-Huh?

Oh.

-See I told you he was a balker.

I've tried every trick I'd ever
heard of to get him started.

Sometimes he'll go and
sometimes he won't.

He'll look pretty
foolish if he refused

to break at the
county sweepstakes.

-Yeah.

Squire'd have a laugh
on us then, wouldn't he?

-That's what I'm afraid of.

The horse is getting
better I think.

But if Cedric's
going to ride him

he better start
working with him.

So Sky here can used to him.

-You know, I'll bet you
Abner could ride him.

He used to be quite a rider
when he's a young feller.

-Lum, I ain't been on
a horse in 30 years.

-Well, you ain't a
scared of him are you?

-Why of course not.

I can ride any horse that
ever peeked through a bridal.

-Well get on him then.

See what you can do with him.

-Oh, oh boy.

Steady boy.

-Well, heh, heh.

How you getting on
with Man 'O War ?

-We getting along fine.

We think we'll have a race
horse one of these days.

-Someone was telling me
he don't break very well.

I hope he ain't a balker.

-Squire Skimp.

Have you been snooping on me?

-No, no, no, no, certainly not.

But I heard a few rumors.

-Take him down the road, Abner.

Let him out a little.

-Well, don't you want to
put the rope up first?

-Put up the rope.

Let's see him start.

If he will start.

-Well he'll start all right.

Come on, Lum, put her up.

-One, two, three, go.

-Get out, here we
come, let's go!

Come on boy, let's go!

Get out there, get up.

Doggie you do stand
quiet, don't you.

Come on, let's go, Skyrocket!

-By grannies, he's a power
runner once he gets started.

-Yes, sir.

One rabbit power.

-Wait a minute.

So this is how you
been snooping on us?

-Good day, Lum.

-Well I still like to know
where we're going, Lum.

-Be quiet, Abner.

I reckon this is far
enough, ain't it, Cedric?

-Lum?

Oh, yes, Lum.

-What are we doing down here
on a railroad track, Lum?

Are we gonna hump a freight
and run away from home?

-Course not.

-Well, well, what
are we gonna do?

You said if I come down here
you had a surprise for me.

Now what is it?

-Well, before I
tell you, I think

we better tie him up,
haven't we, Cedric?

-Yes, Lum.

-You tie his hands and
feet there, Cedric.

-You gotta tie me up first, huh?

-Yeah.

-Well a good friendly,
laugh Friday.

Yes.

Hurry up, Cedric.

-Well, now, you been
caused to help me

make a hero out of myself if
I let you keep that horse.

-I'll do it.

I'll do it, too, Lum.

-All right, this is your
chance to play ball with me.

-Well, good.

Play ball?

Is that what the
surprise is, a new mitt?

-Oh, not baseball, Abner.

-Well, Lum, I'm getting
too old to play football

if that's what
you're talking about.

-Tie him tight there, Cedric.

-Yes, Lum.

-Well I don't know what the game
is, Cedric, but tie me tight.

I don't want to cheat.

No what is it,
Lum, we gonna play?

-Well we're gonna tie you
across the railroad track here.

-Well, good.

-And when the train gets about,
oh, 100 yards from us here,

I'll run up the track here.

Cedric and I will hide
out the side there, see.

And we'll run up the
track here, and I'll

untie you and save your life
and make a hero out of me.

-Well, uh, what kind of train?

-Why, the fast express.

-Fast express?

Oh no you don't!

Help, help, help me Cedric.

Help me.

Oh, don't now, Lum.

Now wait a minute now.

Lum, let's talk this
thing over now, Lum.

Honest now.

-Ain't nothing to talk
over, we done tried that.

-Dad blame it all.

Cedric, I'm going to have
you arrested for this.

-Don't pay no attention
to him, Cedric.

-Don't, that tickles my
feet, don't do that, Cedric.

Help!

Help!

-Shut up, somebody
might hear ya.

-Well that's the reason I'm
hollering hell, so they will.

Now, Lum, Lum, listen.

-You got him, Cedric?

-Dad blame it all.

-That ought to hold him.

Now don't worry a bit, Abner.

I'll be right back to rescue
you quick as the train comes.

You sit here behind this bush,
Cedric so nobody can see you.

-Yes, boss.

-Ah, grannies, this is gonna
make the biggest hero out

of me, Pine Ridge has ever seen.

-It is huh?

-Oh, yeah.

Grannies, it's worth every cent
I'm paying to help me, Cedric.

-Well, when am I gonna
get the 50 cents?

-Well we'll get
around to that later.

-Cedric!

Don't be [INAUDIBLE].

Dad blame it all.

-Grannies, I hope they stop
the train and all the customers

get out and shake hands with me.

Maybe the engineer will get me
to sit up there in the engine

with him and ride me
clear in the county scene.

-Dad blame it, Lum!

Come up here!

-Mr. Lum the train sound
like it getting awful near.

-Oh, now we got
plenty time, Cedric.

See the closer it gets
to Abner the bigger hero

it'll make out of me.

-Lum!

Hurry up, Lum!

There comes the train, Lum!

-Yes, Lum, but it's
getting awful close.

Oh, Mr. Lum, you
better get on up there.

-Well you stay
right here, Cedric.

-Help!

-Is this the greatest idea I
ever had in my life, Abner.

This ought to make
a hero out of me.

-Get me loose.

-Oh, I got plenty of time.

-Hurry up, Lum!

Hurry up, Lum!

-Grannies, Cedric's got
these tied in a hard knot.

-I wish I'd never--

-Oh my goodness!

Stop the train!

Wait a minute!

Hold it back!

Hold it!

-Get it loose, Lum!

-Wait a minute--

-I reckon Mr. Lum's
a hero now, ain't he?

-I'd rather not
discuss it, Cedric.

-Yes.

-Aye doggies, if you
get any higher I'm going

to have to get a ladder
and plum up on everything

there is in the store.

No, as I was
saying, Mr. Dilbeck,

if that Lum keeps up with
that hero business of his,

somebody's going to
get hurt around here.

And I think I know
who it is too .

-Oh I don't believe
I'd say that, Abner.

-Lum, don't come slipping up on
a feller early in the morning

this way, you scared
the daylights out of me.

-Abner, I've got a great idea.

-I don't want to hear it.

-But this is a gooder.

You're going to be kidnapped.

Think of that.

-I am thinking and I
still don't like it.

-It's gonna be a secret.

-Well just keep it a
secret from me then.

-Well wait a minute, what
about that promise of yours?

-I don't recollect no promise.

-You mean to say you
don't recollect promising

to help me make a
hero out of myself?

-I never promised to
put up with the kind

of foolishness you
got me into yesterday.

-Well now, wait a minute.

-No sir.

No way.

There ain't no use
arguing about it, Lum.

You're just wasting
your time now.

-Well wait a minute, Abner.

I don't much blame you.

That railroad business
never worked very good

for some reason or another.

But this is different.

Now tonight I'll get
a ladder and I'll

come over to your house and get
you out of the bedroom window.

You have to make out like you
got a headache or something.

Go to bed early so
your woman Elizabeth

won't think anything about it.

And we'll take you
over to that hill,

back Uncle Henry Lunsford's
place and pick out a nice spot

and tie you to a tree.

-I just stay there until
I starved to death.

-No, no, we're gonna put a note
on the front door there saying

you're being held
for $1,000 ransom.

-A $1,000?

For me?

By doggies.

-See how important
you're gonna be?

-Yeah, but now,
how'd I get moved.

-Well I'm coming to that.

Now, tomorrow morning,
right early, I'll

go down to that hobo camp,
down there on the river.

And I'll get a couple
of them tramps.

Pick out a couple of the
meanest looking fellers.

Of course I'll have to pay 'em
about five dollars a piece.

-And they turn me loose?

-No, no.

They're gonna stand
guard over you.

They're the kidnappers.

-Oh.

-So after the posse
forms I'll sort of

lead 'em to the right spot.

And then I'll come
charging up the hill

a firing my six shooter.

-You needn't go any farther off.

-Why not!

-I saw you shoot that pistol,
ain't a thing a doing.

-Oh, well, these a gonna
be blank cartridges, silly.

-Oh, oh.

-But the hobo's will make
out like they're real bullets

and they're just run
like all get out.

And right in front
of the posse I'll

come running up the
hill to untie you.

Grannies if that don't
make a hero out of me,

my ain't Lum Edwards.

-Well it sounds like a pretty
good idea all right, Lum.

But I believe I
better think it over.

For a week or two.

-No sir, we got strike
while the iron's hot.

-Yeah, we're-- Huh?

-Huh?

-What'd you say about
heating up an iron?

-I said we've got to strike
while the iron's hot.

That's an old Edwards
saying of mine.

-Well what kind of iron?

A flat iron like Elizabeth
uses to iron with?

-Any kind of iron, hot or cold,
we've got to strike tonight.

-Well you better make it a
cold one, I'll tell you that.

If you think I'm gonna set
up on top of that hill hold

a red hot iron waiting
for come after me

you got another guess a coming.

-Well forget about the iron.

Tonight's the night.

[KNOCKING ON WINDOW]

-Abner.

Abner.

Hey, Abner.

Abner, are you awake?

Hey, Abner.

Abner, get out of there.

-Who is it?

-It's me, Lum.

-What are you doing out running
around this time of night, Lum.

Go home.

-I come to kidnap you,
don't you recollect.

-To kidnap?

Oh I changed my mind
about that, Lum.

-No you ain't neither.

Get out of that bed or I'll
come in there and get you.

-Now, Lum.

Don't argue now .

Don't argue.

-Get out of there
then, hurry up.

-I'm getting, I'm getting.

-Be quiet before you wake
up the whole household.

-Come around here at
this hour of the night.

-Goodness gracious alive.

-Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Well let me get my britches on.

-Be quiet.

-Kidnap, make a hero
out of yourself.

Doggies I wish I'd
never hear of it.

Wait a minute, I'll give
you a light here, Lum.

-Don't.

-Well wait a minute.

That's did the best prized lamp.

Told you this a
fine time of night

to be getting a man out
for something like this.

-Come on and shut up.

-Ought to have more
sense then to listen

to ya in the first place.

Get up out of bed
all hours the night.

-Keep quiet, goodness sakes.

-Ah, no don't it tickles, don't.

-Quiet.

-Well don't tickle my foot.

-That didn't break my
back, it's a mercy.

-It ain't my back
that's hurting me.

-Well come on let's get out.

We'll just leave that
ladder there for evidence.

Come on.

-Oh, oh!

Lum these locks is--

-Quiet, you'll wake up
the whole neighborhood.

-These locks is
hurting my feet, Lum.

You're gonna have to carry me.

-Oh for goodness
sakes, for two cents

I'd give this whole thing up.

-All right, doggies,
that's a deal

-What are you doing?

-Nope, ain't got
less than a nickle.

-Oh for goodness sake.
Get on.

Get aboard.

You better get off now, Abner.

I got to put that
ransom note on the door.

-This is fun riding
piggyback, you know what?

-Quiet, not so loud.

You'll wake up the whole town.

It's a wonder we
got out of the house

without waking Elizabeth up.

-Elizabeth?

Why she weren't there.

-Weren't there?

-No grandma Masters
is sick, so she

went over there to
sit up with her.

-Well this is a fine time
to be telling me about it.

We could've walked right
out the front door.

-I never thought about that.

-We got Abner.

And he's worth a $1,000.

You'd better get it ready.

If you ain't, we sending
his ear one at a time.

More later.

-Abner's been kidnapped!

-Holding him for ransom.

-They're forming a posse now.

Get the boys and come a running.

-Hey, what makes you
think they came this way?

-Well, I just figured
it out, sheriff.

I just figured if
I was a kidnapper

where abouts would I take you?

-Well, sounds like
good reasoning to me.

All right then, follow along.

-Yeah, follow me.

-Oh, for land's sake.

Did you hurt yourself?

-What you feller's is
got this all wrong.

It was just a joke.

-Well, the joke ain't
gonna work, chump.

-See, me and my
partner we was gonna

make out like I was kidnapped.

And then he's gonna rescue me.

And that'll make
a hero out of him

and he'll get to
marry Ms. Geraldine.

-Ah cut the comedy,
we came by the store

and seen the ransom note.

-That was part of the joke too.

-He was gonna give us $10 and
shake somebody down for grand.

Well if anybody's going to get
it, we're gonna get the grand.

-Well we wasn't
gonna get no grand.

It was a $1,000.

They'll be here in
just a little while.

-Who'll be here?

-The posse and my
partner to rescue me.

-There ain't gonna
be no rescue mister.

Not til we've had
time to collect.

And if that silly
looking partner of yours

wants to get tough about it,
we'll fill him full of holes.

-Doggies, ain't there nothing
I can do to make you fellers

believe me?

-Well we believe ya.

And we're gonna be all
nice little pals together.

Just as soon as we
cut up that dough.

-Why you low down
snake in the weeds.

-Hey, Butch.

There's a bunch of [INAUDIBLE]
milling around down here.

-That's him, that's him.

They've come for me.

Hooray!

-Keep your mouth shut you little
runt or I'll shut it for ya.

-You and who else?

Help!

Help!

-I said keep your mouth shut!

-Help.

Help.

-Just a minute, men.

Can't be more than nine
or 10 of 'em up there.

I'll handle this by myself.

-But Lum you can't--

-No, no, I don't want none
of you fellers to get hurt.

But if I have any trouble you
fellers come and help me out.

And come a shooting.

-Hey, here comes the other guy.

-Let's get over behind
the tree and give

a warning to keep away.

-Hey Lum!

Don't come up here
they'll kill ya!

-That guy's so dumb he don't
believe his own partner.

Better warn him off.

-Ha, ha.

Tell 'em to keep
shooting, Abner.

That's gonna sound good
from down there below.

-Lum don't come up here.

Stay back, Lum, they'll kill ya.

Lum!

Stay back, they're right
over there by a tree.

-He didn't say nothing
about shooting.

That thing looks
like a young cannon.

-Hey, better not fire men.

You're liable to hit Lum.

-Lum, don't come up here!

Get back, Lum!

-They're right over there, Lum.

Right there, right over there.

-Just stay where you
are, I'm gonna get you.

-Them bullets as big as marbles.

That guy must be crazy.

-He's asking for
it, let him have it.

-Get on back, Lum!

Get back!

-The crazy one got me.

I'm getting out of here.

-That guy don't know
when he's licked.

Come on!

-All right men, these
men have breaked cover.

-Nice work, Abner.

I told you it'd work out
just like we planned it.

-Yeah, you told me.

-It's a good idea having them
fellers shooting blanks too.

Did you tell them to do that?

-Lum, them weren't blanks.

They was using real bullets.

They was going hold me here
until pay them a $1,000 ransom.

-Oh you're just joking, Abner.

You're just saying that to
get even with me on account

of that railroad
business, I know.

-Just saying it, huh?

If you think them weren't
real bullets they's using,

take a look at your hat there.

-Huh?

-Take a look at your hat there.

-Oh my goodness.

-Is he wounded, Abner.

-No. just shell
shocked, I reckon.

Untie me Cedric, and
then pick up his feet,

we got to carry him in.

Untie me!

-Oh.

-All the crazy, idiotic stunts
I ever heared of in my life,

this one takes the prize.

-Uh, now is he a
hero, Mr. Abner?

-I hope so, before
one of us gets killed.

-You're sure I can't
deliver these groceries

for you, Ms. Geraldine.

-Oh, no thank you.

And I'd like to tell
you again how much

I admired your
conduct yesterday.

It was knightly, Mr. Edwards.

-Weren't nothing much,
hardly, to speak of.

-And I'd like to ask a very
great favor of you Mr. Edwards.

-Why sure.

What is it?

-Well, I wonder if I
could have your hat?

The one with the
bullet hole in it.

I should like to preserve it.

-Why, of course you can have it.

I can't wear it
now more no ways.

-Well, do come and see me.

You don't have to wait for the
usual Wednesday night, do you?

-No, I, don't reckon I do.

I'll come by tonight
and set a spell.

That is if it's
alright with you?

And I'll bring the hat.

-Oh, thank you.

Well, au revoir, Mr. Edwards.

-Au-- goodbye Ms. Geraldine.

[HUMMING]

-Grannies it's a fine morning.

-Mighty funny when a feller
don't know when he's well off

and goes and sticks his head
into matrimony, ain't it?

-Have you popped the
question yet, Lum?

-Well, that's the part
that's got me stuck.

-He can dodge
bullets and yet he's

afraid to ask a
lady to marry him.

-Well, he might be right
about that, Marjorie.

That getting married is awful
dangerous business nowadays.

-How's Skyrocket, Marjorie.

-Well that's what
I came to tell you.

I entered him into
the county sweepstakes

today, in your names.

-Well good for you.

-Oh that old Squire
feller [INAUDIBLE].

-You sure Cedric ain't
gonna be too heavy for him?

-I don't think so.

He ran a mile in 1:42 this
morning with Cedric up.

-1:42?

Doggies, that's faster than
Brown Bess ever run it.

-Why sure.

[PHONE RINGING]

Is he still balking?

-Oh once in a while.

But he's getting
used to it and I'll

think he'll start all right.

Isn't that your ring?

-I don't know, I never
paid no attention.

-Of course it was.

Go on, answer the phone.

What you waiting on?

-I'm looking for my spectacles.

-They're on your forehead.

-Don't need glasses to
answer the telephone no way.

-Gotta see who I'm
talking to, don't I?

Hello?

Hello?

By doggies, must of hung up.

Hey, what's going on here?

What's that, a
grocery order, Lum?

-No, I want to
read you something.

Now no laughing.

This is serious business.

-It wouldn't be a
proposal, would it?

-How'd you know that?

Listen to this, see
how you like it.

My love for you is
strong and true.

It'll last as long as
the skies are blue.

Will you be kind
and share my life.

In short, will you
become my wife?

Signed, Lum Edward's, proprietor
of the Jot-'em-Down store,

Pine Ridge, Arkansas.

-Why Lum, that's very sweet.

-Did you like it, sure enough?

By grannies, I sit up all
night last night writing it.

But the question is, how
I'm a gonna get it to her?

-Well why don't you go out
and hand it her yourself?

-And stand there and
watch her read it?

Oh, no, I couldn't do that.

-Well, then why not, uh--

-Don't be looking at
me, I ain't no Cupid.

-Uh, wait a minute, Abner.

Wait a minute.

-There ain't no used to
argue with me now, Lum.

I ain't gonna do it now.

-Wait a minute, Abner.

Grannies, after all
I've did for you.

Sit up with you when
you had the mumps.

Lent you money when
you's a needing.

-Why Abner Peabody, you ought
to be ashamed of yourself.

-All right, dad blame it.

I'll hand it to her.

Give it to me.

-Well wait a minute, let's
see if she's gone home yet.

She may still be
down on the street.

-Oh, yeah.

-By doggies, I've got
to get hole fixed.

-By the way, how are the
new glasses panning out?

-Oh, I think we're getting
used to 'em, sort of gradual.

-Yeah our eyes has
been burning, we've

been having some
awful bad headaches.

But that just shows how
bad we's needing 'em.

-Yeah.

I believe eventual I can
see might as good with these

as I did with my old one.

-Wait a minute, Abner.

Yonder is Ms. Geraldine now.

-Where?

-Standing right out there.

Or, over in front of
the [INAUDIBLE] store.

-Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.

I see her.

-Here, take this note on over
there and give it to her right

now.

-Well, now, what you
want me to tell her?

-Why, just tell her it's with
the compliments of Mr. Edwards.

-Yeah, yeah, all right.

Woah, woah boy.

Woah, woah, woah boy.

Woah.

-Well, he'll deliver
the note all right.

Here I expect I better
get back in the store.

I don't want Ms.
Geraldine to see

me standing out here watching.

-Good morning, Geraldine.

-Oh, I forgot something.

Lum!

-Huh?

-Look who's standing there
now where Ms. Geraldine was?

-Oh my goodness.

Well, she'll be back out to--
You don't reckon Abner would?

-With those glasses on?

-Oh my goodness.

Wait a minute, Abner!

Abner!

Abner!

Wait a minute!

-I got something here for you.

He said to tell you with the
compliments of Lum Edwards.

Now don't say a word
until you read it.

-Abner!

Abner!

Wait a minute, wait a
minute, give me that note.

-Now, darling.

You've made me the happiest
woman in the world.

-By doggies, how
did this happen?

-Look!

Look!

[CHILDREN CHEERING]

-Now you've done it.

-Aye grannies, this'll
settle any argument

about where the middle
of the store's at.

-Lum, do we have to go
through all this again?

Just on account of a
little bad eyesight?

-I'd rather not discuss
it with you, Mr. Peabody.

You ruined my life,
that's what you did.

Ruined my life.

-Well I never meant to--

-I got my half of the dried
good on this side of the store,

and you've got your half of
the groceries over there.

The store is equal
divided now, and I'll

appreciate if you'll
stay on your own side.

-Uh, oh.

Peabody sells it for less.

-Debtors for better merchandise.

-Bananas 25 cents a dozen.

-Two dozen for a quarter.

-Three dozen for a quarter.

-Four dozen.

-Five dozen.

-Wait a minute.

I don't want any bananas.

So you've divided the
store again, have you?

-Yes sir.

-Divide it up, yeah.

-Well, I've come to see
Lum, so I might as well

get on his side of the store.

How long is this
feud gonna last, Lum.

-Ah, grannies, it's
final this time, judge.

I ain't having no more
dealings with him.

-I'm sorry to hear that.

Because what I've
got to say to you

isn't make you feel any better.

-It ain't, huh?

-I'm afraid the Widder's
got a mighty strong

breach of promise
case against you.

-Wait a minute.

Come over here, judge.

He's got ears like a donkey.

-By doggies that's a heap
better than being one.

-I'm afraid if you
don't marry her,

she can take
everything you've got.

-Grannies, ain't there no
way out of it at all, judge?

-There's one chance.

That is if you give
us back that note.

That's the only evidence
she has against you.

-See if you can't get
that note back, judge.

-I'm going down to see her now.

But you know the Widder
better than I do.

-Hello, Judge Akins.

-Hello, Marjorie.

-Right over this way,
lowest prices in town.

-Right over this way.

Oh, come in, Marjorie.

Grannies I'm glad you come in.

-Well what's the matter, Lum?

-Oh I just had a talk
with Judge Akins.

He says the Widder
Abernathy's got

an awful good breach of
promise case against me.

-Lum Edwards, you
need a guardian.

-And you know
who's fault is was.

-Lum Edwards, give
me those glasses.

-Wait a minute, what are
you gonna do with 'em.

-I'll show you.

-Come on over here in
the good store, Marjorie.

-Give me these new
glasses, Abner.

-Well wait a minute, I'm
just getting used to 'em.

-Come on, there's nothing
wrong with your old ones.

-Well now, be careful with 'em.

-I'll be careful all right.

You two get into enough
trouble without having

these glasses to help you.

-Why that's willful
destruction of property.

-I know it is.

-What?

Oh.

[DOOR BELLS]

Right a place, there, Squire,
lowest prices in town.

-Don't go over there to
skinned, Squire, come over here.

-Now you two stop this
right now, do you hear?

-Oh, fiddle faddle.

All groceries half
priced over here, Squire.

-It looks like I might make
some nice, smart bargains here

today.

-Yeah, what can I do for you?

-But that means what's
on my mind, Lum.

I'm representing the Widder
Abernathy in that little matter

of your contract of matrimony.

-Well, what are you doing
sticking your nose in this?

You ain't no lawyer?

-Nevertheless, the
Widder Abernathy

has asked me to
represent her interests.

-I don't want to marry her.

The whole thing's a mistake.

-You'll marry Mrs.
Abernathy on Saturday

night or take the consequences.

That'll be two decisions
you lose on Saturday.

-What do you mean by that?

-When Brown Bess beats
that nag of yours,

you'll realize what
a fool you were,

entering him in the
county sweepstakes.

-I wouldn't be too
sure of that, uncle.

-He's a balker.

He'll never get off
of the starting line.

-Oh, he'll start all right.

-Eh, fine niece you were.

Training a horse
to beat Brown Bess.

What do you know
about horses anyway?

-She knows a heap more
than you do, Squire.

By grannies, I'll
back her judgement

against yours any day.

-You will, eh?

How much will you back it for?

-Well.

-You're not gonna
bet, are ya Lum?

-Just as I thought.

You're full of big talk.

But when it comes right down
to backing your horse, you're--

-So that's what you
come over here for, huh?

Always looking for a
sure thing, ain't ya?

Well you ain't
got one this time.

I tell you what I do, Squire.

If you really want to bet.

I'll bet you my
half of the store

here against $1,000 that
Skyrocket beats Brown Bess.

-Lum, you wouldn't do that.

-Keep still.

That's a bet, Edwards.

Shake on it.

-Don't do it, Lum.

-When this half of
the store is mine,

I can fix it up
and make something

out of this hodgepodge.

-Just a minute, Squire.

You're so awful
smart, and appear

to think so much of the dad
blamed hay burner of yours.

How would you like to make
a real bet on that race?

-What do you mean, a real bet?

-I'll bet you my half of store,
against you sending Marjorie

to that artist institution
she's been wanting to go to.

-You were bluffing, Peabody.

You think I won't call you.

And here's where you lose.

I'll take that little bet too.

-By doggies, you made a deal.

-Good day, gentlemen.

Have the keys ready.

I'll be in to take
possession on Monday morning.

-Good for you.

-Well now you've done it.

I declare I think
you're both crazy.

-Of course we're crazy.

You got not business
associated with us no way.

Why don't you go on
away and leave us alone?

-Well, Lum.

-Well, for once I
think he's right.

What do you hang
around down here for?

Why don't you go on home and
primp yourself up and get you

a boy like a young
girl ought to.

-I've got a boy, Abner.

I've got two of them.

And I think they're
both pretty grand.

But it you two think you
can get rid of me as easy

as this just because my
uncle got mad at me, then

you ought to be
ashamed of yourself.

-Oh, Abner ain't
ashamed of nothing.

Ain't got sense enough.

Just because I get mad
and make a silly bet,

he thinks he got to
do the same time.

-You think you're
the only one can

stand up to Squire Skimp, huh?

-I think you are
both pretty grand.

It didn't make sense
but I was proud of ya.

-Aye grannies, Abner did call
the Squire's bluff, didn't he?

-Well, if anybody around
here is going to pick on Lum,

it's going to be me.

Not Squire Skimp.

-Hooray for the
three musketeers!

-Ah, grannies, let's get
this rope out of the way.

A body can't get from one side
of the store to the other.

-Well, more than
likely we will won't

a store after Saturday, no way.

Might as well be partners
as long as we can.

-Step right this
way, folks, and solve

the secret of that crystal maze.

-Hello Cedric, my boy.

Why don't you go in
and see the show?

-I ain't got no money.

-Oh, well, I think
that could be remedied.

Here you are, my son.

-Well, do you reckon
I'll have time?

-Well of course, my boy.

It's an hour yet
before post time.

-Much obliged, Squire.

-It's all right, Cedric.

-All right, right
this way folks.

All right, step this way.

One dime, ten cents,
and tenth of a dollar.

-What you looking so
digested about, Skyrocket?

Grannies, I wish there's
some way I could tell him

what he's carrying
on his back today.

-Well I don't see why you can't.

Brown Bess always understood me.

-Well why don't we
go talk to her then?

What are we waiting on?

-Listen, Bessie?

Do you think there's some way
that you could manage to fall

down or something
without hurting yourself?

The Ms. would appreciate
it if you could.

-I reckon you out of
luck today, Ms. Marjorie.

She sure is a fine fellow.

-She's in the pink.

-Reckon where Cedric's at?

How much more time we got?

-Almost an hour.

-You ain't saw him,
have you Squire?

-Yeah he was over that
way a little while ago.

-Well it's a good thing
we put Abner's name

down as alternate rider
in the entry today.

-Well that's the trouble,
Abner ain't here neither.

Grannies he ought to have
left Pine Ridge two hours ago.

-I'm afraid Mr. Peabody
is temporarily detained.

I find that Skyrocket did come
from the Williams stock farm.

Those gypsy's stole him.

And of course when
they were looking for

him then had to take
action when they

found him in Abner's possession.

-Well I'll be dad blamed.

Well I might've
knowed you'd figure

out some way to horns-waggle us.

You put Abner in jail.

And I'll bet you done
something with Cedric

too, so's he couldn't get her.

-Well Lum, you better
go after Abner.

Maybe you can talk the sheriff
into letting him out somehow.

-Well sheriff, I've told you
a thousand or a hundred times

I ain't guilty.

-Well maybe so.

You know Abner I'm kind
of sorry to see you

in here, even if you
didn't vote for me.

-I voted for you.

I might've put it in the wrong
box, but I voted for you.

Now, now, can I get out.

-Well if you voted for me you
want to see me do my duty,

don't you?

-Yeah.

I reckon I do sheriff.

Yeah, yeah, I do.

-Hey sheriff, when you
gonna let us out of here?

-Oh, in a week or two, maybe.

Hobo's ain't so
popular in these parts.

-Hey sheriff, you ain't gonna
leave me back here by myself,

are you?

-Hey Bill, that sheriff
wouldn't rest so easy if he knew

how bad we was wanted in
a couple of places, huh?

-Which bank job are
you referring to, Joe?

-Let's see, there's
that hundred grand

that we knocked
off in St. Louie.

-How 'bout those bonds in K.C.

-Oh, well could I help that?

That bank messenger had the
nerve to walk right past me.

Just like picking daisies.

-What they got you for, son?

Playing hooky?

-Huh?

-Probably stole
some kid's marbles.

-By doggie, you feller's don't
know who you're talking to,

do ya?

-No.

-Poor Steve Peabody's my name.

I'm a horse thief, am
I. I bet you I stole

a, a, thousand head of
horses during my time.

-That's a pretty tough
racket, old timer.

-Tough?

That's the toughest deal
in the [INAUDIBLE], bud.

-Well I bet you're
through now, ain't ya?

-I ain't never gonna quit.

Come here.

If I ever get out of here
I'm gonna steal Seabiscuit.

-No.

-I'm gonna do it.

Yes sir.

I done a train job
not long ago too.

-Train robber.

-I sort of messed it
up, but I done it.

-Tell us some more.

About that horse
stealing, mister.

-Well, it weren't much to it.

We used to steal 'em
from the Indians.

And of course we'd have to
shoot about 15 or 20 Braves ever

time we done it.

And we'd take him down
in Oklahoma and sell 'em.

Clean profit.

-Say, I used to live in Tulsa.

Did you every operate
down there in Tulsa?

-Tulsa?

No, no.

I's heard of it,
but we'd stayed out

on the plane's most of time.

-Uh huh.

-Yes, see, Tulsa, Oklahoma.

Doggie, seems like
I used to know

somebody that moved to Tulsa.

Let me see now, who was that?

-Yeah but we got to
get him out, sheriff.

-I'm sorry, Lum, I can't do it.

Unless you've got
$5,000 bail to put up.

-Well, can't I even see him?

-Why sure.

I'll bring him right out.

-Wait a minute, here's
your keys, sheriff.

-Oh.

-I'm proud I run into you.

By doggies, that
gives me a great idea.

Wait a minute, wait a minute,
I hear somebody coming.

More than likely
that partner of mine.

He's the one I's telling you
about that killed Sitting Bull.

-Lum wants to talk to you.

-Hey sheriff, when you gonna
get me my suit and all?

I feel plum undressed
without 'em.

-What's the matter
with you, Abner.

-Tell 'em how mean I am.

-You tell him.

-Oh, trying to
make me talk, huh?

You fellers keep on
tracting, maybe some day you

get as mean as me and get sent
to the state penitentiary,

instead the little old
country jail like this.

-I'm glad we have these
bars between us and him.

-Yeah.

tough characters.

-For two cents, I'd a broke
out of this bird cage,

you know that, don't ya, kid?

-Abner, you've got
to ride Skyrocket.

-Skyrocket?

-Cedric ain't showed up yet.

-Lum, I can't be
riding no horses,

I'm too busy stealing 'em.

-Oh, for goodness sakes, cut
out that foolishness now.

If I don't get you back
in time, Marjorie's

gonna lose her
schooling and me and you

ain't gonna have
no store no more.

-Huh?

-Sheriff, ain't there
some way you could

lend him to me for
an hour or two?

-Sorry, can't do her.

It's against the law.

-No, I voted for him, Lum.

He's got to do his duty.

Come on, lock me up sheriff.

-Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Who's that coming up out yonder?

-Where?

-Somebody after
Abner I'll bound you.

-Doggies, maybe it's my woman.

-There's the fire alarm.

I got to get going.

-Well wait a minute, Lum.

I can't go with you, I've
got to sit here in jail.

I'm a desper-radio.

-Hurry up.

Get [INAUDIBLE].

-Where to, sheriff?

-To the fairgrounds.

-Yeah, the fairgrounds.

-Stop over at the butcher
shop, pick up Elmer and Oliver.

Hurry up!

-Better take your
coat off, Abner.

-What for?

-So's you can put on
this jockey outfit.

-I don't need no jockey
outfit to ride a firetruck.

-Oh, come on, take
off your coat.

-Well, Lum, I-- Help, help, Lum.

Save me, help, help, Lum.

-Hurry up, we're getting might
neigh of the fairgrounds.

-Well I'm a hurrying.

-Here, take off that hat.

-Huh?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

That's a good idea.

Lum?

-Put this cap on.

-Why Lum, folks
are gonna think I'm

crazy, wearing an
outfit like this.

-Post time in two
minutes, Ms. Marjorie.

-Please give us as much time
as you can, Mr. Branigan.

I'm sure they'll be
here any minute now.

-Ah, I insisted that we be
starting on time, Branigan.

-There's the fairgrounds,
I don't see no smoke.

-Oh, it's under the grand
stand I think, chief.

-Under the grand stand.

-All right, boys, get ready.

-Wait a minute.

-The race is over here.

-I don't care about that.

Where's the fire?

-There ain't no fire.

-Well you told the
fire chief there was.

-Never mind that now.

Come on, get on this horse.

Here he is, Mr. Branigan.

Come on, Abner,
get on there quick.

-Dad blame that Cedric Wiehunt.

If I ever catch him, I'll whop
him right on top of the head.

-We collected both of us come
in together in order to win.

-There they go.

Brown Bess is gone to front.

And there's Skyrocket,
left at the post.

-He won't go, Lum, he won't go.

-It's Brown Bess,
a half a length.

Head the Tire is second.

Invincible is third.

Wheel Ride is fourth.

Lancelot is fifth.

And, Skyrocket.

-Sure wish we could
see this race.

-Well we gotta find
the fire first.

-I'd still like to see the
race. -That's the half.

It's Brown Bess by a length.

Head the Tire is second
by three lengths.

Invincible is third, Wheel Ride
is fourth, Lancelot is fifth.

And, Skyrocket.

-I just thought of something.

-What's that, sheriff?

-That partner of yours
belongs back in jail.

-Well, yonder he is, go get him.

Riding Skyrocket.

-Come on, Skyrocket!

-Come on, Skyrocket!

-On the back stretch.

It's Brown Bess still
leading by a length.

Head the Tire is second.

Lancelot is fourth.

And Skyrocket is waking
up, but still last.

Now he's passing wheel
rider, he's passing Lancelot.

Round the far turn, Brown
Bess is still in front.

Head the Tire second.

And here comes
Skyrocket, moving past.

He's passed Invincible.

He's past Head the Tire.

Here he comes, he's
challenging Brown Bess.

It's Brown Bess and Skyrocket.

They're neck and neck.

It's Brown Bess and Skyrocket.

It's Brown Bess and Skyrocket.

It's awful close,
folks, it's awful close.

-I wonder who won that race.

-Skyrocket wins by a nose!

-Skyrocket wins!

Woo!

-I'm proud of ya,
I'm proud of ya.

-Awful close.

Some might have hold him in a
little too much, [INAUDIBLE].

-Well you win it,
that's the main thing.

-Abner Peabody, I arrest for
horse stealing, jail breaking,

and hitch hiking
on a fire engine.

-Come here, sheriff.

-Oh, is that a fact?

-You got him locked
up there now.

-Well, maybe.

Well, just the same, you've
got to go back to jail.

-Oh, sheriff.

-You can't let them
take Abner to jail.

At least I'd like to brag about
what a good loser you are.

-Sheriff, I'll be
responsible for him.

-Well it was you--

-Oh, this little matter
can be cleared up.

-Well, if look at it
that a way, Squire.

-Well, good for you, Squire.

-Well, I could hardly
let him go back to jail,

seeing as he's got to be best
man at a wedding tonight.

-What wedding?

Oh.

Did you have to
remind me of that?

-No, can't see a thing.

-Well, I reckon we better
give it up for tonight.

-Yep We'll get a fresh
start in the morning.

-Yeah.

You can see a fire a lot
further in the day light.

-Uh huh.

[MUSIC]

-Well, Mr. Edwards.

-Thought I had more
sense that to got

yourself into this trouble.

-Right over here, Lum.

-Friends, we are
gathered here today to--

-Can't you skip part of
this, and get it over quick?

-You bet I can.

-Thank you, Judge.

-And if any man can show just
cause, why this couple should

not be joined in
wedlock, let him

now speak, or forever
hold his peace.

I now--

-I object!

-What?

-I said I object.

-On what grounds do you
interrupt this ceremony?

-Why, uh-- Dang if I had some
reason to stand up awhile ago,

uh.

Oh, he's too young
to know his own mind.

-Objection over ruled.

-Now wait a minute.

Are you tying the know here,
or is he doing the hitching?

-Well, uh, go ahead.

-You may proceed, judge.

-Well are there any
other just causes?

-Why, I, I sort
of object myself.

-You?

Well this is all very
irregular, I must think.

-Don't pay any
attention to them,

just go on with the wedding.

-I now--

-Just a minute, Judge.

Am I too late?

-No, just in time Sheriff.

-Joseph!

-Pa!

-She can't marry Lum.

There's here legal wedded
husband right there.

He run off and
left her, and she's

been telling the
round that he's dead.

-Well someone said he was.

-In view of this
unfortunate circumstance,

I think we can consider
this a wedding postponed.

-Postponed?

By grannies, it's cancelled.

-And so sang Sir Galahad
with a thrust of his lance

on the horse of his opponent.

Wasn't he just wonderful?

-Yeah, reckon so.

-Only thing, uh, it don't
work out that away nowadays.

A body just don't get
no chance to be a hero.

-Aw, you're just too
modest, Mr. Edwards.

But of course, all heroes are.

-Do you really think so?

-Um hmm.

-Well if you do,
there's, there's

something I want to ask you.

-Yes, Mr. Edwards?

-Well, you see, that is, I
thought maybe, well, maybe

me and you-- Ah,
grannies, ten o'clock.

-Yes, ten o'clock.

-We're getting to be a couple
of night owls, ain't we?

Well, goodnight, Ms. Geraldine.

-Goodnight, Sir Galahad.

-Oh, I'll be seeing you
Wednesday night, I reckon.

-Oh, well.

Couldn't you come
over on Saturday?

We could-- Mr.
Edwards, you're always

trying to go through
that closet door.

-I know it, I know it.

I don't know what's the
matter with me anyways.

-Oh, Mr. Edwards,
what were you gonna

say, just before 10 o'clock?

-Oh, why, I was
gonna ask-- I don't

recollect what is was right now.

Maybe I can think of
it by Wednesday night.

Goodnight, Ms. Geraldine.