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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,829 --> 00:00:04,107 All right, Carter, follow me. Put the phone down. Put the phone down. 2 00:00:04,211 --> 00:00:06,247 All right, we're gonna start simple. We're gonna take off this wheel and tire, 3 00:00:06,351 --> 00:00:08,146 check out the suspension, all right? 4 00:00:08,249 --> 00:00:10,493 And we're gonna be using these tools. 5 00:00:10,596 --> 00:00:13,151 What tool do we use to take off the lug nuts? 6 00:00:13,254 --> 00:00:16,878 Lug nuts. Good one, Pops. 7 00:00:16,982 --> 00:00:19,157 You gotta focus here. Gotta focus. 8 00:00:24,196 --> 00:00:26,164 Oh. 9 00:00:26,267 --> 00:00:28,511 Oh, boy. I recognize that sigh. 10 00:00:28,925 --> 00:00:32,273 Having flashbacks of Matt mentoring me when I was Carter's age. 11 00:00:32,377 --> 00:00:34,448 He doesn't know how to talk to kids. 12 00:00:34,551 --> 00:00:36,277 I don't even think he ever was a kid. 13 00:00:36,381 --> 00:00:39,625 Oh, yeah. When he came out the womb, his first words were, 14 00:00:39,729 --> 00:00:41,524 "Back in my day." 15 00:00:43,112 --> 00:00:45,286 You got to put down the phone. 16 00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:48,220 Life is out here, not in here. 17 00:00:50,671 --> 00:00:51,982 Yeah. Got it, Pops. 18 00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:53,950 I didn't ask you anything. 19 00:00:54,468 --> 00:00:57,091 You gotta put the phone down. You kids, you gotta learn how to work. 20 00:00:57,195 --> 00:00:59,818 You gotta learn how to do things, not watch things. 21 00:00:59,921 --> 00:01:01,268 I gotta help Carter. 22 00:01:01,371 --> 00:01:02,372 Hey, look, man. 23 00:01:02,476 --> 00:01:04,202 It's cool you wanna have his back, 24 00:01:04,305 --> 00:01:06,859 but when you go in, don't expect the same out of me. 25 00:01:07,239 --> 00:01:09,172 Aren't you afraid of getting hurt? 26 00:01:11,001 --> 00:01:14,695 Whoa, whoa, boss, why don't you just ease it up a little bit? 27 00:01:14,798 --> 00:01:16,283 "Ease up a little bit"? What do you mean? 28 00:01:16,386 --> 00:01:18,388 Somebody get the first aid kit! 29 00:01:19,182 --> 00:01:20,977 - What, what, what? - It-It's just, you know, uh, 30 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,842 mentoring takes a certain skill set, 31 00:01:23,945 --> 00:01:26,189 and I don't think it's really one of your strengths. 32 00:01:26,603 --> 00:01:31,125 It's not like, you know, you're weak. You're so strong. 33 00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:34,818 The Rock has a picture of you on his refrigerator. 34 00:01:35,681 --> 00:01:37,683 Am I right, Stitch? S-Stitch? 35 00:01:37,787 --> 00:01:39,892 Tuck and roll, boy. Tuck and roll. 36 00:01:41,377 --> 00:01:45,726 Yeah, all I'm saying is, uh, you're not the most patient guy in the world. 37 00:01:45,829 --> 00:01:48,004 So maybe I shouldn't help my grandson 38 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:51,594 fix the car that I bought for he and I to restore. 39 00:01:51,697 --> 00:01:53,320 No, that is not what I'm saying. 40 00:01:53,423 --> 00:01:54,562 Why don't you just take over? 41 00:01:54,666 --> 00:01:56,081 Uh, no, I-I don't want to impose. 42 00:01:56,185 --> 00:01:57,979 I think it's a little late for that, isn't it? 43 00:01:58,842 --> 00:02:01,224 You go ahead at it. It's all yours. 44 00:02:01,983 --> 00:02:03,709 You know what? 45 00:02:03,813 --> 00:02:05,849 I'm gonna take on this challenge. I'm looking forward to it. 46 00:02:05,953 --> 00:02:07,127 Don't care. 47 00:02:20,312 --> 00:02:22,590 Papa, we need to talk. 48 00:02:22,694 --> 00:02:24,765 I can't talk now. I'm in the middle of something. 49 00:02:24,868 --> 00:02:29,010 "Estate planning"? Boy, they don't make it easy in California, do they? 50 00:02:35,085 --> 00:02:37,709 - Not gonna leave unless I talk to you? - Correct. 51 00:02:38,330 --> 00:02:40,781 You're gonna become something very special in the future. 52 00:02:40,884 --> 00:02:44,060 I don't know what it is, but I think it'll involve prison time. 53 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,959 Well, I just hope I'm half as successful as you are. 54 00:02:47,063 --> 00:02:49,065 Not to mention as generous and bold. 55 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:52,241 Let's not forget not born yesterday. What do you want? 56 00:02:52,344 --> 00:02:54,208 Would you be my guest at career day tomorrow? 57 00:02:54,312 --> 00:02:55,968 I need a parent-guardian to join. 58 00:02:56,072 --> 00:02:58,523 Well, lucky for me, I'm neither one of those. 59 00:02:58,902 --> 00:03:00,283 But I want you to come. 60 00:03:00,387 --> 00:03:02,768 Your auto shop's so cool. The kids will love it. 61 00:03:02,872 --> 00:03:05,392 So you'll do it? I have a form for you to sign. 62 00:03:09,534 --> 00:03:11,363 Well, yeah, why not? 63 00:03:11,467 --> 00:03:13,676 Nobody your age knows how to build anything with their hands anyway. 64 00:03:13,779 --> 00:03:16,126 "Learn to be an influencer." What is that? 65 00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:17,473 Or a content creator. 66 00:03:17,576 --> 00:03:19,889 You know who created content? God. 67 00:03:22,063 --> 00:03:23,686 Ugh! 68 00:03:23,789 --> 00:03:25,481 The community theater production of Cats came in today 69 00:03:25,584 --> 00:03:28,277 and got fur all over the bathroom. 70 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:30,693 And who had to clean it up? Me. 71 00:03:31,418 --> 00:03:33,454 I coughed up hair balls the whole drive home. 72 00:03:33,972 --> 00:03:37,182 Cats. Boy, there's certain things that should have been left in the '80s. 73 00:03:37,286 --> 00:03:40,910 I'll tell you what, karaoke, mullets, bongs. 74 00:03:44,741 --> 00:03:47,848 I believe the next track on Matt Parker's Greatest Hits 75 00:03:47,951 --> 00:03:50,368 is "No Sandwich is Worth More than Eight Dollars." 76 00:03:50,471 --> 00:03:53,060 No sandwich is worth more than eight dollars. 77 00:03:53,163 --> 00:03:57,616 Speaking of careers, I got an email inviting me to career day tomorrow. 78 00:03:58,134 --> 00:03:59,860 You don't have to come, Mom. I invited Papa. 79 00:03:59,963 --> 00:04:01,206 No, no, your mom's got this. 80 00:04:01,310 --> 00:04:03,933 No, you gotta go. You signed a contract. 81 00:04:04,451 --> 00:04:07,557 - This is something your mom should do. - But you signed a contract. 82 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,526 Fine, I'll go. 83 00:04:10,629 --> 00:04:12,562 Eleven-year-old audiences are my sweet spot. 84 00:04:12,666 --> 00:04:14,599 I can tell them the hair ball story. 85 00:04:16,877 --> 00:04:18,499 But, Papa, you have to come too. 86 00:04:18,603 --> 00:04:21,364 What, are you gonna sue me for breach of contract? 87 00:04:21,744 --> 00:04:22,952 Maybe. 88 00:04:23,642 --> 00:04:24,919 Hey, how's it going? 89 00:04:25,748 --> 00:04:27,646 So great. Yeah. 90 00:04:28,544 --> 00:04:31,926 It is such an honor and privilege to mentor the next generation. 91 00:04:32,030 --> 00:04:35,516 I can't wait to thank Matt for giving me this wonderful opportunity. 92 00:04:35,620 --> 00:04:37,173 Man, this ain't the Oscars. 93 00:04:37,622 --> 00:04:40,901 And you ain't mentoring. You're doing all the work. 94 00:04:41,004 --> 00:04:42,489 And look at Timothรฉe Chalamet. 95 00:04:43,490 --> 00:04:45,181 Over there taking weird selfies. 96 00:04:45,906 --> 00:04:47,287 Yeah, okay. 97 00:04:48,011 --> 00:04:51,567 It's been rough, okay? I can't get this kid to focus or sit still. 98 00:04:51,670 --> 00:04:53,707 Got any ideas? 99 00:04:53,810 --> 00:04:56,986 Well, my drill sergeant used to shout in our face till we was covered in spit. 100 00:04:57,538 --> 00:05:01,853 It was effective till he gave three guys in my platoon herpes. 101 00:05:03,199 --> 00:05:06,202 No, no, no, no. No yelling, okay? That's the Matt way. 102 00:05:06,651 --> 00:05:09,861 We're gonna go with the Gabriel way. Patience and compassion. 103 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,690 Watch this. Hey, buddy. 104 00:05:11,794 --> 00:05:13,416 Come over here. I wanna show you something. 105 00:05:15,901 --> 00:05:17,351 What is your problem, man? 106 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,389 You spent this whole day just focused on your phone and yourself. 107 00:05:20,492 --> 00:05:25,221 You kids, you gotta learn how to actually do things, not just watch things. 108 00:05:27,292 --> 00:05:28,880 Oh, no. 109 00:05:29,639 --> 00:05:30,951 Oh, yes. 110 00:05:32,021 --> 00:05:34,506 It's happened. The Matt-amorphosis is complete. 111 00:05:34,886 --> 00:05:37,854 Carter. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. 112 00:05:37,958 --> 00:05:39,339 No, I'm sorry. I... 113 00:05:40,374 --> 00:05:43,860 I can't focus 'cause there's this girl. 114 00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:47,105 A girl? We are... 115 00:05:47,208 --> 00:05:48,244 Leaning in. 116 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,487 Scooch. 117 00:05:50,764 --> 00:05:53,318 Her name's Lily, and she's really cool. 118 00:05:53,422 --> 00:05:57,495 And she does that sneeze where you kind of sneeze, but not really, like... 119 00:06:00,325 --> 00:06:02,154 You got this, buddy. 120 00:06:02,258 --> 00:06:05,192 Look, tomorrow at school, you just go up to Lily, and you go, "Hey." 121 00:06:06,676 --> 00:06:07,746 Hey. 122 00:06:08,747 --> 00:06:11,612 No, no, no. You just, you know, "Hey." 123 00:06:11,716 --> 00:06:13,925 Nah, nah, nah, nah. Just turn on the charm. 124 00:06:14,028 --> 00:06:15,375 Make her laugh. 125 00:06:15,478 --> 00:06:17,411 No, play it cool. Leave her guessing, you know? 126 00:06:17,515 --> 00:06:18,964 Make her heart race a little bit. 127 00:06:19,068 --> 00:06:21,173 Do not listen to him. He got commitment issues. 128 00:06:21,277 --> 00:06:23,175 You're the one who just broke up with your girlfriend. 129 00:06:23,279 --> 00:06:27,076 Yeah, after she became president of the Flat Earth Association. 130 00:06:27,904 --> 00:06:29,941 And she would never refill the Brita. 131 00:06:31,045 --> 00:06:34,428 Now, you can be crazy or inconsiderate. Not both. 132 00:06:35,809 --> 00:06:38,501 Thank you, Dr. Smith, for your moving presentation. 133 00:06:38,605 --> 00:06:41,746 I think we all shed a tear listening to your story. 134 00:06:44,783 --> 00:06:46,302 Tears of boredom. 135 00:06:46,751 --> 00:06:49,995 I didn't know we'd be following someone who performed heart surgery. 136 00:06:50,099 --> 00:06:52,101 On a donkey. Who cares? 137 00:06:52,619 --> 00:06:54,690 These people have some impressive jobs. 138 00:06:54,793 --> 00:06:58,210 Oprah's therapist, Kourtney Kardashian's stylist. 139 00:06:58,314 --> 00:07:02,249 In Vegas, you either deal blackjack or sell gold teeth at a pawn shop. 140 00:07:03,112 --> 00:07:04,147 Is it hot in here? 141 00:07:04,631 --> 00:07:07,461 It is not often that we get both parents. 142 00:07:07,565 --> 00:07:09,221 Now, let's welcome Mr. and Mrs. Parker. 143 00:07:09,325 --> 00:07:11,983 - Ah! No, no, no, no. - Oh. No, no, no. 144 00:07:12,086 --> 00:07:14,157 Oh, God, no, no. 145 00:07:15,987 --> 00:07:18,645 We are not one of those age-gap couples. 146 00:07:19,335 --> 00:07:20,992 No offense. 147 00:07:23,926 --> 00:07:25,375 He's my dad. 148 00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:27,861 Right. Age-gap couple, is that what we call this? 149 00:07:27,964 --> 00:07:31,934 Young and hot. Rich, wealthy troll. No offense, man. 150 00:07:33,591 --> 00:07:35,420 Well, it's good to be here. 151 00:07:35,524 --> 00:07:38,941 I guess we all know now what jobs we do not want. 152 00:07:40,218 --> 00:07:43,221 I'm Matt Parker, and I own Parker's Customs. 153 00:07:43,324 --> 00:07:45,223 Who wants to hear about the car 154 00:07:45,326 --> 00:07:50,953 that I restored for Robert Downey Jr. aka Iron Man? 155 00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:53,680 They all do, Papa. 156 00:07:53,783 --> 00:07:55,440 Wait, props? 157 00:07:55,544 --> 00:07:58,029 I didn't know we could bring props. I could've brought my 158 00:07:58,995 --> 00:08:00,652 ergonomic chair. 159 00:08:02,378 --> 00:08:06,209 And that is reason 25 why cars are better than people. 160 00:08:06,313 --> 00:08:08,695 Thanks, you guys. 161 00:08:09,385 --> 00:08:11,387 Wait a minute. 162 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:15,529 I still have a gift for the best question, and I think that has to go... 163 00:08:16,047 --> 00:08:18,152 I think it's Owen, right? 164 00:08:18,256 --> 00:08:21,501 Owen, for the best question, "Do people mistake me for George Clooney?" You bet. 165 00:08:22,709 --> 00:08:24,158 Uh-huh, yeah. 166 00:08:24,987 --> 00:08:27,783 Anyway, I see big talent in you. 167 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:31,234 Now we're going to hear from Georgia's mom, Riley. 168 00:08:31,718 --> 00:08:33,409 - Great job, Mr. Parker. - Thank you very much. 169 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,618 Maybe we should chat after class. 170 00:08:35,722 --> 00:08:37,793 I see big talent in you too. 171 00:08:41,935 --> 00:08:43,764 Gross. Hi, kids. 172 00:08:44,247 --> 00:08:48,251 So, I work at a place called Premiere Dance Lab where I-- 173 00:08:48,355 --> 00:08:50,909 Work with really awesome dancers. 174 00:08:51,461 --> 00:08:54,844 When are rehearsals for the new season of Dancing with the Stars? 175 00:08:55,258 --> 00:08:56,466 Oh. Um... 176 00:08:56,570 --> 00:08:58,503 Not sure, but I do love that show. 177 00:08:58,607 --> 00:09:01,851 Mostly because watching people fail makes me feel better about myself. 178 00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:04,682 You guys know what I'm talking about, right? 179 00:09:04,785 --> 00:09:07,823 Is it true you started choreographing when you were still in high school? 180 00:09:08,444 --> 00:09:09,687 Oh, um... 181 00:09:09,790 --> 00:09:11,585 I might have exaggerated a bit. 182 00:09:12,206 --> 00:09:14,208 - What? - Just go with it. 183 00:09:15,934 --> 00:09:17,280 Oh, um... 184 00:09:17,660 --> 00:09:21,837 Yes, when I was in high school, I did choreograph something. 185 00:09:22,458 --> 00:09:24,874 Less of a dance, more of a heist 186 00:09:24,978 --> 00:09:28,395 to get our raspberry vodka back from the principal's office. 187 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:32,157 She's kidding. 188 00:09:32,986 --> 00:09:36,576 Let Georgia's mom finish her presentation before questions. 189 00:09:37,059 --> 00:09:38,543 But can you tell us a little bit 190 00:09:38,647 --> 00:09:40,856 about working with Rihanna for her Super Bowl show? 191 00:09:48,242 --> 00:09:49,692 I'm not playing this game. 192 00:09:51,142 --> 00:09:53,213 All right, kids, story time's over. 193 00:09:53,316 --> 00:09:55,042 It's about to get real up in here. 194 00:09:55,905 --> 00:09:59,737 Despite many requests from certain Vegas nightclub owners, 195 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,221 I'm not a dancer. 196 00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:05,397 I am a receptionist. 197 00:10:05,501 --> 00:10:08,504 Before that, I was a blackjack dealer at a retirement home. 198 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:12,266 And before that, I cleaned porta-potties at a go-kart track. 199 00:10:13,543 --> 00:10:16,857 And the only thing worse than those kids' driving was their aim. 200 00:10:16,961 --> 00:10:20,896 Wait a minute. I think you might have another gift here in the bag. 201 00:10:24,313 --> 00:10:25,590 What's up, guys? 202 00:10:25,694 --> 00:10:28,006 Yo, there he is. Hey, how'd it go with Lily? 203 00:10:28,110 --> 00:10:29,490 Did you give her the, "Hey"? 204 00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:36,014 Well, I-I went up to her in biology, and I was gonna give her the, "Hey." 205 00:10:36,877 --> 00:10:42,365 But she looked at me, and I froze, and it kind of came out... 206 00:10:45,161 --> 00:10:46,611 You know what? New plan. 207 00:10:46,715 --> 00:10:48,924 Okay, maybe you'd be more comfortable with a text. 208 00:10:49,027 --> 00:10:51,064 How about, uh, 209 00:10:51,167 --> 00:10:55,447 "Hey, Lily. Who needs a garden when you can just plant yourself in my heart?" 210 00:11:00,832 --> 00:11:04,215 You trying to get the boy a date or on America's Most Wanted? 211 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,287 I'm trying to get him on Lily's Most Wanted. 212 00:11:07,908 --> 00:11:10,186 Carter, you got this. Just trust your instincts. 213 00:11:10,739 --> 00:11:14,294 Okay. How about, "Hey, Lily, wanna hang sometime?" 214 00:11:14,397 --> 00:11:15,882 - Do it, do it. - Yeah. Sounds good. 215 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,160 - What'd she say? - Did she respond? 216 00:11:18,263 --> 00:11:20,783 Guys, chill. I just sent the message. 217 00:11:20,887 --> 00:11:22,371 - What'd she say? - Was that her? 218 00:11:23,268 --> 00:11:28,618 Well, she wants me to, uh, come over to her place and hang tonight. 219 00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:30,344 Yeah, boy. 220 00:11:37,006 --> 00:11:40,147 There's my star. You're the talk of the playground. 221 00:11:40,251 --> 00:11:44,531 Let's cut the crap, okay? Although you're right, I drilled it. 222 00:11:45,566 --> 00:11:47,810 You were very rude to your mother in that classroom. 223 00:11:48,397 --> 00:11:49,674 What about me? 224 00:11:50,054 --> 00:11:52,573 She embarrassed me, and now everyone thinks I'm a liar. 225 00:11:52,677 --> 00:11:54,748 That's because you are a liar. 226 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,371 They weren't supposed to know that. 227 00:11:57,475 --> 00:11:59,477 Trying to impress your friends, I get that. 228 00:11:59,580 --> 00:12:02,100 You stepped over the line. You owe your mom an apology. 229 00:12:02,204 --> 00:12:04,240 Ugh! What a day at work. 230 00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:07,036 I was trying to teach Rihanna the Dougie. 231 00:12:10,695 --> 00:12:12,732 And then Beyoncรฉ called. 232 00:12:14,078 --> 00:12:17,529 It's not easy, but apparently it's the life I chose in high school 233 00:12:17,633 --> 00:12:21,016 when I decided to be a world-famous choreographer. 234 00:12:22,155 --> 00:12:23,604 Georgia has something to say to you. 235 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:28,057 I didn't even want to invite you in the first place because your job is lame. 236 00:12:28,161 --> 00:12:29,334 Oh. 237 00:12:29,438 --> 00:12:31,474 That's not an apology. 238 00:12:33,442 --> 00:12:36,134 So that's why you lied to all your friends about what I did? 239 00:12:36,238 --> 00:12:38,723 I didn't lie. I was trying to make you sound more interesting. 240 00:12:38,827 --> 00:12:42,037 Oh! I'm sorry I'm not more interesting. 241 00:12:42,140 --> 00:12:45,557 I was too busy trying to put a roof over your head and buy you an iPhone. 242 00:12:45,661 --> 00:12:48,802 Yeah, an iPhone 7. It still has the home button. 243 00:12:51,184 --> 00:12:55,464 Oh, my God, you are such a brat. Go to your room. 244 00:12:58,260 --> 00:13:00,158 This is just a weird thing to say, 245 00:13:00,262 --> 00:13:02,954 but "roof over your head," I actually put a roof over your head. 246 00:13:03,955 --> 00:13:06,233 Too soon. Too soon. Too soon. Too soon. 247 00:13:12,101 --> 00:13:14,000 Are you here to apologize? 248 00:13:14,103 --> 00:13:15,449 Um... No. 249 00:13:16,726 --> 00:13:19,419 I'm here to get my backpack. I have a test tomorrow. 250 00:13:19,522 --> 00:13:21,455 Oh, well, make sure you get an A 251 00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:24,769 so you don't end up being a receptionist at a dance studio. 252 00:13:24,873 --> 00:13:26,219 That's pretty sound advice. 253 00:13:26,322 --> 00:13:27,530 Not helping. 254 00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:31,431 Oh, you're wearing your Uggs. 255 00:13:31,534 --> 00:13:34,606 I bought those using the tips I got bartending a poolside bachelorette. 256 00:13:34,710 --> 00:13:38,265 Made 50 volcano bowls and had to save the bride from drowning. 257 00:13:39,577 --> 00:13:42,511 I bet Timmy's donkey doctor dad couldn't do that. 258 00:13:43,305 --> 00:13:44,893 You're being so dramatic and immature. 259 00:13:44,996 --> 00:13:48,586 You're dramatic and immature. Also... 260 00:13:49,690 --> 00:13:50,726 Papa, are you seeing this? 261 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,314 Don't you dare take her side. 262 00:13:52,417 --> 00:13:54,834 For once in my life, I'm happy somebody's visiting. 263 00:13:56,352 --> 00:13:58,561 - Hi, Matt. - I retract that statement. 264 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,737 I gotta talk to Carter. He sent me a text-- 265 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,084 I don't need to hear it. I knew he'd break you. He broke you, right? 266 00:14:04,188 --> 00:14:05,430 - Mentoring is no joke. - No. 267 00:14:05,534 --> 00:14:07,570 How do parents do it? 268 00:14:07,674 --> 00:14:10,056 Oh, well, it's actually pretty easy. Until your kids turn into giant brats. 269 00:14:11,229 --> 00:14:12,921 I'm out of here. I'm going to study. 270 00:14:13,024 --> 00:14:14,819 Also... 271 00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:17,063 - Did she just... - She did. 272 00:14:17,166 --> 00:14:18,236 She did. 273 00:14:18,788 --> 00:14:20,687 Listen, I'm sorry you had to see all this. 274 00:14:20,790 --> 00:14:23,655 No, it's all good. Yeah, it reminds me when Diane and Riley would go at it, 275 00:14:23,759 --> 00:14:27,211 and you'd get involved, and somehow they ended up hating you. 276 00:14:31,008 --> 00:14:32,492 It is like that. 277 00:14:34,494 --> 00:14:35,805 Matt? 278 00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:37,048 You still here? 279 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,258 Carter's in Sam's old bedroom upstairs. 280 00:14:40,362 --> 00:14:41,708 Okay, going. 281 00:14:41,811 --> 00:14:43,848 And the faucet in there is leaking really weird. 282 00:14:43,952 --> 00:14:46,989 Yeah, I'm here on a mentor level. I'm not really on the clock. 283 00:14:47,093 --> 00:14:48,335 I'm gonna take a look. 284 00:14:51,856 --> 00:14:53,651 Could you be any louder? 285 00:14:53,754 --> 00:14:56,757 Oh, is my trying to feed you making too much noise? 286 00:14:57,206 --> 00:14:58,587 I'm sorry. 287 00:15:00,382 --> 00:15:02,867 Are you kidding me? Can you turn that off, please? 288 00:15:02,971 --> 00:15:04,179 I can't hear you. What? 289 00:15:04,282 --> 00:15:07,630 Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn it off! 290 00:15:07,734 --> 00:15:09,598 Hey! Come on. Come on. 291 00:15:10,116 --> 00:15:11,945 Family, all right, listen. Sit, both of you. 292 00:15:12,049 --> 00:15:14,223 Sit down over there. Boy, oh, boy. 293 00:15:14,775 --> 00:15:16,639 Riley, this is ridiculous. 294 00:15:16,743 --> 00:15:19,988 You're not acting like her mother. You're acting like a spoiled brat. 295 00:15:20,091 --> 00:15:21,679 What? 296 00:15:21,782 --> 00:15:22,922 Preach, Papa. 297 00:15:23,474 --> 00:15:27,823 And your obsession with status is not real. It's pathetic. 298 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,756 - Tell her, Dad. - Just listen to you two. 299 00:15:29,859 --> 00:15:31,792 You're getting all hysterical over nothing. 300 00:15:31,896 --> 00:15:34,416 It's just typical chick drama. 301 00:15:34,519 --> 00:15:37,074 I am not... What's that now? 302 00:15:37,626 --> 00:15:38,799 Yeah, what's that now? 303 00:15:39,766 --> 00:15:43,356 I know it's not a woman's strong suit, but we're talking about logic-- 304 00:15:43,459 --> 00:15:45,703 "A woman's strong suit"? 305 00:15:45,806 --> 00:15:47,429 - Yes. - Why don't you take that phrase back 306 00:15:47,532 --> 00:15:49,500 to the '30s where you both belong? 307 00:15:49,603 --> 00:15:51,847 - 1830! - Nice. 308 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,194 This is why women are not in charge of anything, 309 00:15:54,298 --> 00:15:56,679 because you're way too emotional. 310 00:15:56,783 --> 00:15:58,060 Oh. Really, Dad? 311 00:15:58,164 --> 00:16:00,097 - Yes. - Thanks for mansplaining that. 312 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:04,653 If it weren't for mansplaining, you women wouldn't know anything. 313 00:16:05,585 --> 00:16:07,242 He's such a Neanderthal. 314 00:16:07,345 --> 00:16:10,659 Actually, Neanderthals came along after your grandfather. 315 00:16:11,177 --> 00:16:13,317 Why don't you go back to your cave? 316 00:16:13,420 --> 00:16:18,667 And you two stay here in the kitchen and, I don't know, discuss sewing or barrettes. 317 00:16:19,150 --> 00:16:23,844 I will go into the office and do all the major decision-making. 318 00:16:24,949 --> 00:16:26,640 Men are ridiculous. 319 00:16:27,883 --> 00:16:29,540 Yeah, just you wait. 320 00:16:37,341 --> 00:16:38,721 Can I help with dinner, Mom? 321 00:16:40,309 --> 00:16:43,726 Um... Sure. You can chop the vegetables. 322 00:16:49,663 --> 00:16:51,562 I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. 323 00:16:52,218 --> 00:16:53,357 I know. 324 00:16:58,258 --> 00:16:59,466 So you got my text? 325 00:16:59,570 --> 00:17:01,468 Yeah, I wanted to see if you were okay. 326 00:17:01,572 --> 00:17:03,884 You can't tell me you're flaking on Lily and leave me on "read." 327 00:17:04,609 --> 00:17:06,508 What the hell is on your nose? 328 00:17:06,611 --> 00:17:09,511 Oh, it shrinks your pores in your T-zone. 329 00:17:09,614 --> 00:17:13,411 Twenty minutes later, you got that Hailey Bieber glazed doughnut glow. 330 00:17:14,412 --> 00:17:15,655 I thought you were excited to go. 331 00:17:15,758 --> 00:17:18,451 I was, until I found out it's not a date. 332 00:17:18,554 --> 00:17:20,039 It's a group hang. 333 00:17:20,798 --> 00:17:23,007 Have you ever had a girl put you in the friend zone? 334 00:17:23,111 --> 00:17:24,146 Mmm. 335 00:17:24,250 --> 00:17:25,527 No. 336 00:17:26,286 --> 00:17:29,979 But, you know, maybe Lily's just, you know, nervous to be alone with you. 337 00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:35,847 I know all you see is this smooth-talking guy dripping rizz, 338 00:17:36,779 --> 00:17:39,851 but the truth is, I can be socially awkward. 339 00:17:39,955 --> 00:17:41,336 Nah. 340 00:17:41,439 --> 00:17:42,647 I panic around people. 341 00:17:42,751 --> 00:17:44,649 Am I talking too much? Not enough? 342 00:17:44,753 --> 00:17:46,375 Too much and not enough? 343 00:17:46,479 --> 00:17:49,206 Yeah, I get it. I mean, high school's a beast, you know? 344 00:17:49,309 --> 00:17:53,658 Figuring out who you are, who people want you to be, who you don't want to be. 345 00:17:53,762 --> 00:17:56,144 For me, it was my chemistry teacher, Mr. Toledo. 346 00:17:56,730 --> 00:18:01,528 His shirts were always so thin, his nipples so hard. 347 00:18:03,461 --> 00:18:07,155 Yeah. But I-I mean, at least you had friends. 348 00:18:07,258 --> 00:18:10,434 I have four, and three of them are robots. 349 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:14,438 I had six. Three Fords, three Chevys. 350 00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:17,406 I was pretty anxious too, you know? 351 00:18:17,510 --> 00:18:22,239 And then one day, I decided to be myself. Start putting myself out there. 352 00:18:22,342 --> 00:18:24,620 Like Mr. Toledo's nipples. 353 00:18:26,588 --> 00:18:30,074 I just... I don't wanna ruin it with Lily. 354 00:18:32,352 --> 00:18:34,320 You won't know till you go. 355 00:18:35,873 --> 00:18:38,393 If things go south, Stitch and I will be there to pick you up. 356 00:18:38,496 --> 00:18:40,360 - Really? - Of course, man. 357 00:18:40,464 --> 00:18:43,950 Part of our crew now. The Car-bro-retors. 358 00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:47,678 Now I see why you didn't have any friends in high school. 359 00:18:47,781 --> 00:18:48,920 Yeah. 360 00:18:49,990 --> 00:18:52,752 But if you made it through, so can I. 361 00:18:53,339 --> 00:18:54,236 I'll go. 362 00:18:54,340 --> 00:18:56,065 Attaboy. Now we're talking. 363 00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:59,034 - Whoa, whoa, you forgetting something? - Oh, right. 364 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,140 I love you, man. 365 00:19:01,519 --> 00:19:04,350 No, dude. The nose strip. 366 00:19:07,353 --> 00:19:08,457 Yeah. 367 00:19:10,010 --> 00:19:12,461 I smell Mom's brownies. 368 00:19:12,565 --> 00:19:14,083 Good for you. 369 00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:16,672 Now, you remembered to put sugar in this time, right? 370 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:19,365 Damn it. 371 00:19:21,021 --> 00:19:22,609 Man. 372 00:19:22,713 --> 00:19:24,611 All that stuff with Georgia got me thinking about Mom. 373 00:19:24,715 --> 00:19:27,235 You and your mom had a lot of fights in here, I'll tell you that. 374 00:19:27,338 --> 00:19:29,444 Yeah, but I wasn't as bad as Georgia. 375 00:19:30,514 --> 00:19:32,274 You forgot your whole childhood, right? 376 00:19:32,378 --> 00:19:34,449 What are you talking about? 377 00:19:34,552 --> 00:19:37,935 Your mom embarrassed you from the moment you put on those shiny black moon boots. 378 00:19:38,038 --> 00:19:40,109 You mean Doc Martens? 379 00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:43,216 I don't care what doctor you got them from, you were embarrassed by your mother. 380 00:19:43,665 --> 00:19:46,323 You had her pick you up a block away from school. 381 00:19:46,426 --> 00:19:49,084 You guys bolt in here for no reason, screaming at each other. 382 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:52,846 "Do you believe her, Dad?" And then Mom would point to me, "It's your daughter." 383 00:19:52,950 --> 00:19:56,574 You two arguing like that was like being on The View on election day. 384 00:19:57,437 --> 00:20:01,269 Then you'd come in with all your fake toxic male stuff 385 00:20:01,372 --> 00:20:04,030 to give us a common enemy like you did today. 386 00:20:04,133 --> 00:20:08,172 Yeah, but gotta be honest, back then it wasn't fake. 387 00:20:09,898 --> 00:20:11,762 You made a big change. 388 00:20:11,865 --> 00:20:13,488 And then when Georgia's older, she's gonna realize what you've done. 389 00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:16,111 You know, when she's, like, 21. 390 00:20:16,594 --> 00:20:17,975 And until then... 391 00:20:18,078 --> 00:20:19,287 It's gonna be horrible. 392 00:20:20,149 --> 00:20:24,119 And then they get into the teenage years. That's when you learn to be mean. 393 00:20:24,464 --> 00:20:28,779 Then the hormones kick in, and that, uh, monthly visitor shows up. 394 00:20:29,573 --> 00:20:32,127 Shark attack, shark attack. Ay-yi-yi. 395 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:35,958 Oh-ho-ho. You're, like, doing the fake caveman thing again. 396 00:20:36,683 --> 00:20:37,857 What? 397 00:20:41,170 --> 00:20:44,035 Guess who got a one-on-one date with Lily. 398 00:20:44,139 --> 00:20:45,589 Peep the drip. 399 00:20:45,968 --> 00:20:47,763 Whoo. Let's go. 400 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:51,802 Technically, she's giving me bio tutoring after school, but... 401 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,667 your boy's in the game. 402 00:20:54,770 --> 00:20:56,496 It's still go! 403 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:59,534 Hello, gentlemen. I see no work's been done, so I was right. 404 00:20:59,637 --> 00:21:01,570 You are a loser in this mentor business. 405 00:21:01,674 --> 00:21:06,126 He may have failed with my car, but he won himself a little bro. 406 00:21:06,644 --> 00:21:08,853 Gross. All right, Carter, hop over here. 407 00:21:08,957 --> 00:21:10,717 We're gonna start this over again. 408 00:21:10,821 --> 00:21:12,581 We're gonna figure out how to do the whole thing. Hold on. 409 00:21:12,685 --> 00:21:14,894 Uh! You know the rule, Pops, no phones. 410 00:21:14,997 --> 00:21:18,311 You have to learn to actually do things, not just watch. 411 00:21:19,830 --> 00:21:23,109 Timothรฉe Chalamet done lost his damn mind. 33014

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