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1
00:00:01,829 --> 00:00:04,107
All right, Carter, follow me.
Put the phone down.
Put the phone down.
2
00:00:04,211 --> 00:00:06,247
All right, we're gonna
start simple. We're gonna
take off this wheel and tire,
3
00:00:06,351 --> 00:00:08,146
check out the suspension,
all right?
4
00:00:08,249 --> 00:00:10,493
And we're gonna be using
these tools.
5
00:00:10,596 --> 00:00:13,151
What tool do we use
to take off the lug nuts?
6
00:00:13,254 --> 00:00:16,878
Lug nuts.
Good one, Pops.
7
00:00:16,982 --> 00:00:19,157
You gotta focus here.
Gotta focus.
8
00:00:24,196 --> 00:00:26,164
Oh.
9
00:00:26,267 --> 00:00:28,511
Oh, boy. I recognize that sigh.
10
00:00:28,925 --> 00:00:32,273
Having flashbacks of Matt
mentoring me
when I was Carter's age.
11
00:00:32,377 --> 00:00:34,448
He doesn't know
how to talk to kids.
12
00:00:34,551 --> 00:00:36,277
I don't even think
he ever was a kid.
13
00:00:36,381 --> 00:00:39,625
Oh, yeah. When he
came out the womb,
his first words were,
14
00:00:39,729 --> 00:00:41,524
"Back in my day."
15
00:00:43,112 --> 00:00:45,286
You got to put down the phone.
16
00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:48,220
Life is out here, not in here.
17
00:00:50,671 --> 00:00:51,982
Yeah. Got it, Pops.
18
00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:53,950
I didn't ask you anything.
19
00:00:54,468 --> 00:00:57,091
You gotta put the phone down.
You kids, you gotta learn
how to work.
20
00:00:57,195 --> 00:00:59,818
You gotta learn how to
do things, not watch things.
21
00:00:59,921 --> 00:01:01,268
I gotta help Carter.
22
00:01:01,371 --> 00:01:02,372
Hey, look, man.
23
00:01:02,476 --> 00:01:04,202
It's cool
you wanna have his back,
24
00:01:04,305 --> 00:01:06,859
but when you go in,
don't expect
the same out of me.
25
00:01:07,239 --> 00:01:09,172
Aren't you afraid
of getting hurt?
26
00:01:11,001 --> 00:01:14,695
Whoa, whoa, boss,
why don't you just
ease it up a little bit?
27
00:01:14,798 --> 00:01:16,283
"Ease up a little bit"?
What do you mean?
28
00:01:16,386 --> 00:01:18,388
Somebody get the first aid kit!
29
00:01:19,182 --> 00:01:20,977
- What, what, what?
- It-It's just, you know, uh,
30
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,842
mentoring takes
a certain skill set,
31
00:01:23,945 --> 00:01:26,189
and I don't think it's
really one of your strengths.
32
00:01:26,603 --> 00:01:31,125
It's not like,
you know, you're weak.
You're so strong.
33
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:34,818
The Rock has a picture of you
on his refrigerator.
34
00:01:35,681 --> 00:01:37,683
Am I right, Stitch? S-Stitch?
35
00:01:37,787 --> 00:01:39,892
Tuck and roll, boy.
Tuck and roll.
36
00:01:41,377 --> 00:01:45,726
Yeah, all I'm saying is,
uh, you're not the most
patient guy in the world.
37
00:01:45,829 --> 00:01:48,004
So maybe I shouldn't help
my grandson
38
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:51,594
fix the car that I bought
for he and I to restore.
39
00:01:51,697 --> 00:01:53,320
No, that is not
what I'm saying.
40
00:01:53,423 --> 00:01:54,562
Why don't you just take over?
41
00:01:54,666 --> 00:01:56,081
Uh, no,
I-I don't want to impose.
42
00:01:56,185 --> 00:01:57,979
I think it's a little late
for that, isn't it?
43
00:01:58,842 --> 00:02:01,224
You go ahead at it.
It's all yours.
44
00:02:01,983 --> 00:02:03,709
You know what?
45
00:02:03,813 --> 00:02:05,849
I'm gonna take on
this challenge.
I'm looking forward to it.
46
00:02:05,953 --> 00:02:07,127
Don't care.
47
00:02:20,312 --> 00:02:22,590
Papa, we need to talk.
48
00:02:22,694 --> 00:02:24,765
I can't talk now.
I'm in the middle of something.
49
00:02:24,868 --> 00:02:29,010
"Estate planning"?
Boy, they don't make it easy
in California, do they?
50
00:02:35,085 --> 00:02:37,709
- Not gonna leave
unless I talk to you?
- Correct.
51
00:02:38,330 --> 00:02:40,781
You're gonna become something
very special in the future.
52
00:02:40,884 --> 00:02:44,060
I don't know what it is,
but I think
it'll involve prison time.
53
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,959
Well, I just hope I'm half
as successful as you are.
54
00:02:47,063 --> 00:02:49,065
Not to mention
as generous and bold.
55
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:52,241
Let's not forget
not born yesterday.
What do you want?
56
00:02:52,344 --> 00:02:54,208
Would you be my guest
at career day tomorrow?
57
00:02:54,312 --> 00:02:55,968
I need a parent-guardian
to join.
58
00:02:56,072 --> 00:02:58,523
Well, lucky for me,
I'm neither one of those.
59
00:02:58,902 --> 00:03:00,283
But I want you to come.
60
00:03:00,387 --> 00:03:02,768
Your auto shop's so cool.
The kids will love it.
61
00:03:02,872 --> 00:03:05,392
So you'll do it?
I have a form for you to sign.
62
00:03:09,534 --> 00:03:11,363
Well, yeah, why not?
63
00:03:11,467 --> 00:03:13,676
Nobody your age knows
how to build anything
with their hands anyway.
64
00:03:13,779 --> 00:03:16,126
"Learn to be an influencer."
What is that?
65
00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:17,473
Or a content creator.
66
00:03:17,576 --> 00:03:19,889
You know who created content?
God.
67
00:03:22,063 --> 00:03:23,686
Ugh!
68
00:03:23,789 --> 00:03:25,481
The community theater
production of Cats
came in today
69
00:03:25,584 --> 00:03:28,277
and got fur
all over the bathroom.
70
00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:30,693
And who had to clean it up? Me.
71
00:03:31,418 --> 00:03:33,454
I coughed up hair balls
the whole drive home.
72
00:03:33,972 --> 00:03:37,182
Cats. Boy, there's
certain things that should have
been left in the '80s.
73
00:03:37,286 --> 00:03:40,910
I'll tell you what,
karaoke, mullets, bongs.
74
00:03:44,741 --> 00:03:47,848
I believe the next track
on Matt Parker's Greatest Hits
75
00:03:47,951 --> 00:03:50,368
is "No Sandwich is Worth More
than Eight Dollars."
76
00:03:50,471 --> 00:03:53,060
No sandwich is worth more
than eight dollars.
77
00:03:53,163 --> 00:03:57,616
Speaking of careers,
I got an email inviting me
to career day tomorrow.
78
00:03:58,134 --> 00:03:59,860
You don't have to come, Mom.
I invited Papa.
79
00:03:59,963 --> 00:04:01,206
No, no, your mom's got this.
80
00:04:01,310 --> 00:04:03,933
No, you gotta go.
You signed a contract.
81
00:04:04,451 --> 00:04:07,557
- This is something
your mom should do.
- But you signed a contract.
82
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,526
Fine, I'll go.
83
00:04:10,629 --> 00:04:12,562
Eleven-year-old audiences
are my sweet spot.
84
00:04:12,666 --> 00:04:14,599
I can tell them
the hair ball story.
85
00:04:16,877 --> 00:04:18,499
But, Papa,
you have to come too.
86
00:04:18,603 --> 00:04:21,364
What, are you gonna sue me
for breach of contract?
87
00:04:21,744 --> 00:04:22,952
Maybe.
88
00:04:23,642 --> 00:04:24,919
Hey, how's it going?
89
00:04:25,748 --> 00:04:27,646
So great. Yeah.
90
00:04:28,544 --> 00:04:31,926
It is such an honor
and privilege to mentor
the next generation.
91
00:04:32,030 --> 00:04:35,516
I can't wait
to thank Matt for giving me
this wonderful opportunity.
92
00:04:35,620 --> 00:04:37,173
Man, this ain't the Oscars.
93
00:04:37,622 --> 00:04:40,901
And you ain't mentoring.
You're doing all the work.
94
00:04:41,004 --> 00:04:42,489
And look at Timothรฉe Chalamet.
95
00:04:43,490 --> 00:04:45,181
Over there
taking weird selfies.
96
00:04:45,906 --> 00:04:47,287
Yeah, okay.
97
00:04:48,011 --> 00:04:51,567
It's been rough, okay?
I can't get this kid
to focus or sit still.
98
00:04:51,670 --> 00:04:53,707
Got any ideas?
99
00:04:53,810 --> 00:04:56,986
Well, my drill sergeant
used to shout in our face
till we was covered in spit.
100
00:04:57,538 --> 00:05:01,853
It was effective
till he gave three guys
in my platoon herpes.
101
00:05:03,199 --> 00:05:06,202
No, no, no, no.
No yelling, okay?
That's the Matt way.
102
00:05:06,651 --> 00:05:09,861
We're gonna go with
the Gabriel way.
Patience and compassion.
103
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,690
Watch this. Hey, buddy.
104
00:05:11,794 --> 00:05:13,416
Come over here.
I wanna show you something.
105
00:05:15,901 --> 00:05:17,351
What is your problem, man?
106
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,389
You spent this whole day
just focused on your phone
and yourself.
107
00:05:20,492 --> 00:05:25,221
You kids, you gotta learn
how to actually do things,
not just watch things.
108
00:05:27,292 --> 00:05:28,880
Oh, no.
109
00:05:29,639 --> 00:05:30,951
Oh, yes.
110
00:05:32,021 --> 00:05:34,506
It's happened.
The Matt-amorphosis
is complete.
111
00:05:34,886 --> 00:05:37,854
Carter.
I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it.
112
00:05:37,958 --> 00:05:39,339
No, I'm sorry. I...
113
00:05:40,374 --> 00:05:43,860
I can't focus
'cause there's this girl.
114
00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:47,105
A girl? We are...
115
00:05:47,208 --> 00:05:48,244
Leaning in.
116
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,487
Scooch.
117
00:05:50,764 --> 00:05:53,318
Her name's Lily,
and she's really cool.
118
00:05:53,422 --> 00:05:57,495
And she does that sneeze
where you kind of sneeze,
but not really, like...
119
00:06:00,325 --> 00:06:02,154
You got this, buddy.
120
00:06:02,258 --> 00:06:05,192
Look, tomorrow at school,
you just go up to Lily,
and you go, "Hey."
121
00:06:06,676 --> 00:06:07,746
Hey.
122
00:06:08,747 --> 00:06:11,612
No, no, no.
You just, you know, "Hey."
123
00:06:11,716 --> 00:06:13,925
Nah, nah, nah, nah.
Just turn on the charm.
124
00:06:14,028 --> 00:06:15,375
Make her laugh.
125
00:06:15,478 --> 00:06:17,411
No, play it cool.
Leave her guessing, you know?
126
00:06:17,515 --> 00:06:18,964
Make her heart race
a little bit.
127
00:06:19,068 --> 00:06:21,173
Do not listen to him.
He got commitment issues.
128
00:06:21,277 --> 00:06:23,175
You're the one who just
broke up with your girlfriend.
129
00:06:23,279 --> 00:06:27,076
Yeah, after she
became president
of the Flat Earth Association.
130
00:06:27,904 --> 00:06:29,941
And she would never refill
the Brita.
131
00:06:31,045 --> 00:06:34,428
Now, you can be crazy
or inconsiderate. Not both.
132
00:06:35,809 --> 00:06:38,501
Thank you, Dr. Smith,
for your moving presentation.
133
00:06:38,605 --> 00:06:41,746
I think we all shed a tear
listening to your story.
134
00:06:44,783 --> 00:06:46,302
Tears of boredom.
135
00:06:46,751 --> 00:06:49,995
I didn't know
we'd be following someone
who performed heart surgery.
136
00:06:50,099 --> 00:06:52,101
On a donkey. Who cares?
137
00:06:52,619 --> 00:06:54,690
These people have
some impressive jobs.
138
00:06:54,793 --> 00:06:58,210
Oprah's therapist,
Kourtney Kardashian's stylist.
139
00:06:58,314 --> 00:07:02,249
In Vegas, you either
deal blackjack or sell
gold teeth at a pawn shop.
140
00:07:03,112 --> 00:07:04,147
Is it hot in here?
141
00:07:04,631 --> 00:07:07,461
It is not often
that we get both parents.
142
00:07:07,565 --> 00:07:09,221
Now, let's welcome
Mr. and Mrs. Parker.
143
00:07:09,325 --> 00:07:11,983
- Ah! No, no, no, no.
- Oh. No, no, no.
144
00:07:12,086 --> 00:07:14,157
Oh, God, no, no.
145
00:07:15,987 --> 00:07:18,645
We are not one of those
age-gap couples.
146
00:07:19,335 --> 00:07:20,992
No offense.
147
00:07:23,926 --> 00:07:25,375
He's my dad.
148
00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:27,861
Right. Age-gap couple,
is that what we call this?
149
00:07:27,964 --> 00:07:31,934
Young and hot.
Rich, wealthy troll.
No offense, man.
150
00:07:33,591 --> 00:07:35,420
Well,
it's good to be here.
151
00:07:35,524 --> 00:07:38,941
I guess we all know now
what jobs we do not want.
152
00:07:40,218 --> 00:07:43,221
I'm Matt Parker,
and I own Parker's Customs.
153
00:07:43,324 --> 00:07:45,223
Who wants to hear about the car
154
00:07:45,326 --> 00:07:50,953
that I restored
for Robert Downey Jr.
aka Iron Man?
155
00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:53,680
They all do, Papa.
156
00:07:53,783 --> 00:07:55,440
Wait, props?
157
00:07:55,544 --> 00:07:58,029
I didn't know
we could bring props.
I could've brought my
158
00:07:58,995 --> 00:08:00,652
ergonomic chair.
159
00:08:02,378 --> 00:08:06,209
And that is reason 25 why cars
are better than people.
160
00:08:06,313 --> 00:08:08,695
Thanks, you guys.
161
00:08:09,385 --> 00:08:11,387
Wait a minute.
162
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:15,529
I still have a gift
for the best question,
and I think that has to go...
163
00:08:16,047 --> 00:08:18,152
I think it's Owen, right?
164
00:08:18,256 --> 00:08:21,501
Owen, for the best question,
"Do people mistake me
for George Clooney?" You bet.
165
00:08:22,709 --> 00:08:24,158
Uh-huh, yeah.
166
00:08:24,987 --> 00:08:27,783
Anyway,
I see big talent in you.
167
00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:31,234
Now we're going to hear
from Georgia's mom, Riley.
168
00:08:31,718 --> 00:08:33,409
- Great job, Mr. Parker.
- Thank you very much.
169
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,618
Maybe we should chat
after class.
170
00:08:35,722 --> 00:08:37,793
I see big talent in you too.
171
00:08:41,935 --> 00:08:43,764
Gross. Hi, kids.
172
00:08:44,247 --> 00:08:48,251
So, I work at a place called
Premiere Dance Lab where I--
173
00:08:48,355 --> 00:08:50,909
Work with
really awesome dancers.
174
00:08:51,461 --> 00:08:54,844
When are rehearsals
for the new season
of Dancing with the Stars?
175
00:08:55,258 --> 00:08:56,466
Oh. Um...
176
00:08:56,570 --> 00:08:58,503
Not sure,
but I do love that show.
177
00:08:58,607 --> 00:09:01,851
Mostly because
watching people fail makes me
feel better about myself.
178
00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:04,682
You guys know
what I'm talking about, right?
179
00:09:04,785 --> 00:09:07,823
Is it true you started
choreographing when you
were still in high school?
180
00:09:08,444 --> 00:09:09,687
Oh, um...
181
00:09:09,790 --> 00:09:11,585
I might have
exaggerated a bit.
182
00:09:12,206 --> 00:09:14,208
- What?
- Just go with it.
183
00:09:15,934 --> 00:09:17,280
Oh, um...
184
00:09:17,660 --> 00:09:21,837
Yes, when I was in high school,
I did choreograph something.
185
00:09:22,458 --> 00:09:24,874
Less of a dance,
more of a heist
186
00:09:24,978 --> 00:09:28,395
to get our raspberry vodka back
from the principal's office.
187
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:32,157
She's kidding.
188
00:09:32,986 --> 00:09:36,576
Let Georgia's mom
finish her presentation
before questions.
189
00:09:37,059 --> 00:09:38,543
But can you tell us
a little bit
190
00:09:38,647 --> 00:09:40,856
about working with Rihanna
for her Super Bowl show?
191
00:09:48,242 --> 00:09:49,692
I'm not playing this game.
192
00:09:51,142 --> 00:09:53,213
All right, kids,
story time's over.
193
00:09:53,316 --> 00:09:55,042
It's about to get real
up in here.
194
00:09:55,905 --> 00:09:59,737
Despite many requests from
certain Vegas nightclub owners,
195
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,221
I'm not a dancer.
196
00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:05,397
I am a receptionist.
197
00:10:05,501 --> 00:10:08,504
Before that, I was
a blackjack dealer
at a retirement home.
198
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:12,266
And before that,
I cleaned porta-potties
at a go-kart track.
199
00:10:13,543 --> 00:10:16,857
And the only thing worse
than those kids' driving
was their aim.
200
00:10:16,961 --> 00:10:20,896
Wait a minute.
I think you might have
another gift here in the bag.
201
00:10:24,313 --> 00:10:25,590
What's up, guys?
202
00:10:25,694 --> 00:10:28,006
Yo, there he is.
Hey, how'd it go with Lily?
203
00:10:28,110 --> 00:10:29,490
Did you give her the, "Hey"?
204
00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:36,014
Well, I-I went up to her
in biology, and I was gonna
give her the, "Hey."
205
00:10:36,877 --> 00:10:42,365
But she looked at me,
and I froze, and it
kind of came out...
206
00:10:45,161 --> 00:10:46,611
You know what? New plan.
207
00:10:46,715 --> 00:10:48,924
Okay, maybe you'd be
more comfortable with a text.
208
00:10:49,027 --> 00:10:51,064
How about, uh,
209
00:10:51,167 --> 00:10:55,447
"Hey, Lily. Who needs
a garden when you can just
plant yourself in my heart?"
210
00:11:00,832 --> 00:11:04,215
You trying to get
the boy a date
or on America's Most Wanted?
211
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,287
I'm trying to get him
on Lily's Most Wanted.
212
00:11:07,908 --> 00:11:10,186
Carter, you got this.
Just trust your instincts.
213
00:11:10,739 --> 00:11:14,294
Okay. How about, "Hey, Lily,
wanna hang sometime?"
214
00:11:14,397 --> 00:11:15,882
- Do it, do it.
- Yeah. Sounds good.
215
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,160
- What'd she say?
- Did she respond?
216
00:11:18,263 --> 00:11:20,783
Guys, chill.
I just sent the message.
217
00:11:20,887 --> 00:11:22,371
- What'd she say?
- Was that her?
218
00:11:23,268 --> 00:11:28,618
Well, she wants me to, uh,
come over to her place
and hang tonight.
219
00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:30,344
Yeah, boy.
220
00:11:37,006 --> 00:11:40,147
There's my star. You're
the talk of the playground.
221
00:11:40,251 --> 00:11:44,531
Let's cut the crap, okay?
Although you're right,
I drilled it.
222
00:11:45,566 --> 00:11:47,810
You were very rude to
your mother in that classroom.
223
00:11:48,397 --> 00:11:49,674
What about me?
224
00:11:50,054 --> 00:11:52,573
She embarrassed me, and now
everyone thinks I'm a liar.
225
00:11:52,677 --> 00:11:54,748
That's because you are a liar.
226
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,371
They weren't
supposed to know that.
227
00:11:57,475 --> 00:11:59,477
Trying to impress your friends,
I get that.
228
00:11:59,580 --> 00:12:02,100
You stepped over the line.
You owe your mom an apology.
229
00:12:02,204 --> 00:12:04,240
Ugh!
What a day at work.
230
00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:07,036
I was trying to teach Rihanna
the Dougie.
231
00:12:10,695 --> 00:12:12,732
And then Beyoncรฉ called.
232
00:12:14,078 --> 00:12:17,529
It's not easy,
but apparently it's the life
I chose in high school
233
00:12:17,633 --> 00:12:21,016
when I decided to be
a world-famous choreographer.
234
00:12:22,155 --> 00:12:23,604
Georgia has something
to say to you.
235
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:28,057
I didn't even want to
invite you in the first place
because your job is lame.
236
00:12:28,161 --> 00:12:29,334
Oh.
237
00:12:29,438 --> 00:12:31,474
That's not an apology.
238
00:12:33,442 --> 00:12:36,134
So that's why you lied
to all your friends
about what I did?
239
00:12:36,238 --> 00:12:38,723
I didn't lie. I was trying
to make you sound
more interesting.
240
00:12:38,827 --> 00:12:42,037
Oh! I'm sorry
I'm not more interesting.
241
00:12:42,140 --> 00:12:45,557
I was too busy trying
to put a roof over your head
and buy you an iPhone.
242
00:12:45,661 --> 00:12:48,802
Yeah, an iPhone 7.
It still has the home button.
243
00:12:51,184 --> 00:12:55,464
Oh, my God, you are such
a brat. Go to your room.
244
00:12:58,260 --> 00:13:00,158
This is just
a weird thing to say,
245
00:13:00,262 --> 00:13:02,954
but "roof over your head,"
I actually put a roof
over your head.
246
00:13:03,955 --> 00:13:06,233
Too soon. Too soon.
Too soon. Too soon.
247
00:13:12,101 --> 00:13:14,000
Are you here to apologize?
248
00:13:14,103 --> 00:13:15,449
Um... No.
249
00:13:16,726 --> 00:13:19,419
I'm here to get my backpack.
I have a test tomorrow.
250
00:13:19,522 --> 00:13:21,455
Oh, well, make sure
you get an A
251
00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:24,769
so you don't end up
being a receptionist
at a dance studio.
252
00:13:24,873 --> 00:13:26,219
That's pretty sound advice.
253
00:13:26,322 --> 00:13:27,530
Not helping.
254
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:31,431
Oh, you're wearing your Uggs.
255
00:13:31,534 --> 00:13:34,606
I bought those using the tips
I got bartending
a poolside bachelorette.
256
00:13:34,710 --> 00:13:38,265
Made 50 volcano bowls
and had to save the bride
from drowning.
257
00:13:39,577 --> 00:13:42,511
I bet Timmy's donkey doctor dad
couldn't do that.
258
00:13:43,305 --> 00:13:44,893
You're being so dramatic
and immature.
259
00:13:44,996 --> 00:13:48,586
You're dramatic and immature.
Also...
260
00:13:49,690 --> 00:13:50,726
Papa, are you seeing this?
261
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,314
Don't you dare take her side.
262
00:13:52,417 --> 00:13:54,834
For once in my life,
I'm happy somebody's visiting.
263
00:13:56,352 --> 00:13:58,561
- Hi, Matt.
- I retract that statement.
264
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,737
I gotta talk to Carter.
He sent me a text--
265
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,084
I don't need to hear it.
I knew he'd break you.
He broke you, right?
266
00:14:04,188 --> 00:14:05,430
- Mentoring is no joke.
- No.
267
00:14:05,534 --> 00:14:07,570
How do parents do it?
268
00:14:07,674 --> 00:14:10,056
Oh, well, it's actually
pretty easy. Until your kids
turn into giant brats.
269
00:14:11,229 --> 00:14:12,921
I'm out of here.
I'm going to study.
270
00:14:13,024 --> 00:14:14,819
Also...
271
00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:17,063
- Did she just...
- She did.
272
00:14:17,166 --> 00:14:18,236
She did.
273
00:14:18,788 --> 00:14:20,687
Listen, I'm sorry you
had to see all this.
274
00:14:20,790 --> 00:14:23,655
No, it's all good. Yeah,
it reminds me when Diane
and Riley would go at it,
275
00:14:23,759 --> 00:14:27,211
and you'd get involved,
and somehow
they ended up hating you.
276
00:14:31,008 --> 00:14:32,492
It is like that.
277
00:14:34,494 --> 00:14:35,805
Matt?
278
00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:37,048
You still here?
279
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,258
Carter's in
Sam's old bedroom upstairs.
280
00:14:40,362 --> 00:14:41,708
Okay, going.
281
00:14:41,811 --> 00:14:43,848
And the faucet in there
is leaking really weird.
282
00:14:43,952 --> 00:14:46,989
Yeah, I'm here on
a mentor level.
I'm not really on the clock.
283
00:14:47,093 --> 00:14:48,335
I'm gonna take a look.
284
00:14:51,856 --> 00:14:53,651
Could you be any louder?
285
00:14:53,754 --> 00:14:56,757
Oh, is my trying to feed you
making too much noise?
286
00:14:57,206 --> 00:14:58,587
I'm sorry.
287
00:15:00,382 --> 00:15:02,867
Are you kidding me?
Can you turn that off, please?
288
00:15:02,971 --> 00:15:04,179
I can't hear you. What?
289
00:15:04,282 --> 00:15:07,630
Turn it off! Turn it off!
Turn it off!
290
00:15:07,734 --> 00:15:09,598
Hey! Come on. Come on.
291
00:15:10,116 --> 00:15:11,945
Family, all right, listen.
Sit, both of you.
292
00:15:12,049 --> 00:15:14,223
Sit down over there.
Boy, oh, boy.
293
00:15:14,775 --> 00:15:16,639
Riley, this is ridiculous.
294
00:15:16,743 --> 00:15:19,988
You're not acting like
her mother. You're acting
like a spoiled brat.
295
00:15:20,091 --> 00:15:21,679
What?
296
00:15:21,782 --> 00:15:22,922
Preach, Papa.
297
00:15:23,474 --> 00:15:27,823
And your obsession with status
is not real. It's pathetic.
298
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,756
- Tell her, Dad.
- Just listen to you two.
299
00:15:29,859 --> 00:15:31,792
You're getting all hysterical
over nothing.
300
00:15:31,896 --> 00:15:34,416
It's just typical chick drama.
301
00:15:34,519 --> 00:15:37,074
I am not...
What's that now?
302
00:15:37,626 --> 00:15:38,799
Yeah, what's that now?
303
00:15:39,766 --> 00:15:43,356
I know it's not
a woman's strong suit,
but we're talking about logic--
304
00:15:43,459 --> 00:15:45,703
"A woman's strong suit"?
305
00:15:45,806 --> 00:15:47,429
- Yes.
- Why don't you take
that phrase back
306
00:15:47,532 --> 00:15:49,500
to the '30s
where you both belong?
307
00:15:49,603 --> 00:15:51,847
- 1830!
- Nice.
308
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,194
This is why women
are not in charge of anything,
309
00:15:54,298 --> 00:15:56,679
because you're
way too emotional.
310
00:15:56,783 --> 00:15:58,060
Oh. Really, Dad?
311
00:15:58,164 --> 00:16:00,097
- Yes.
- Thanks for mansplaining that.
312
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:04,653
If it weren't for mansplaining,
you women
wouldn't know anything.
313
00:16:05,585 --> 00:16:07,242
He's such a Neanderthal.
314
00:16:07,345 --> 00:16:10,659
Actually,
Neanderthals came along
after your grandfather.
315
00:16:11,177 --> 00:16:13,317
Why don't you go
back to your cave?
316
00:16:13,420 --> 00:16:18,667
And you two stay here in
the kitchen and, I don't know,
discuss sewing or barrettes.
317
00:16:19,150 --> 00:16:23,844
I will go into the office
and do all the major
decision-making.
318
00:16:24,949 --> 00:16:26,640
Men are ridiculous.
319
00:16:27,883 --> 00:16:29,540
Yeah, just you wait.
320
00:16:37,341 --> 00:16:38,721
Can I help with dinner, Mom?
321
00:16:40,309 --> 00:16:43,726
Um... Sure.
You can chop the vegetables.
322
00:16:49,663 --> 00:16:51,562
I'm sorry I hurt your feelings.
323
00:16:52,218 --> 00:16:53,357
I know.
324
00:16:58,258 --> 00:16:59,466
So you got my text?
325
00:16:59,570 --> 00:17:01,468
Yeah, I wanted to see
if you were okay.
326
00:17:01,572 --> 00:17:03,884
You can't tell me
you're flaking on Lily
and leave me on "read."
327
00:17:04,609 --> 00:17:06,508
What the hell is on your nose?
328
00:17:06,611 --> 00:17:09,511
Oh, it shrinks your pores
in your T-zone.
329
00:17:09,614 --> 00:17:13,411
Twenty minutes later,
you got that Hailey Bieber
glazed doughnut glow.
330
00:17:14,412 --> 00:17:15,655
I thought
you were excited to go.
331
00:17:15,758 --> 00:17:18,451
I was, until I found out
it's not a date.
332
00:17:18,554 --> 00:17:20,039
It's a group hang.
333
00:17:20,798 --> 00:17:23,007
Have you ever had a girl
put you in the friend zone?
334
00:17:23,111 --> 00:17:24,146
Mmm.
335
00:17:24,250 --> 00:17:25,527
No.
336
00:17:26,286 --> 00:17:29,979
But, you know, maybe Lily's
just, you know, nervous
to be alone with you.
337
00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:35,847
I know all you see
is this smooth-talking guy
dripping rizz,
338
00:17:36,779 --> 00:17:39,851
but the truth is,
I can be socially awkward.
339
00:17:39,955 --> 00:17:41,336
Nah.
340
00:17:41,439 --> 00:17:42,647
I panic around people.
341
00:17:42,751 --> 00:17:44,649
Am I talking too much?
Not enough?
342
00:17:44,753 --> 00:17:46,375
Too much and not enough?
343
00:17:46,479 --> 00:17:49,206
Yeah, I get it. I mean,
high school's a beast,
you know?
344
00:17:49,309 --> 00:17:53,658
Figuring out who you are,
who people want you to be,
who you don't want to be.
345
00:17:53,762 --> 00:17:56,144
For me, it was my
chemistry teacher, Mr. Toledo.
346
00:17:56,730 --> 00:18:01,528
His shirts were always so thin,
his nipples so hard.
347
00:18:03,461 --> 00:18:07,155
Yeah. But I-I mean,
at least you had friends.
348
00:18:07,258 --> 00:18:10,434
I have four,
and three of them are robots.
349
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:14,438
I had six.
Three Fords, three Chevys.
350
00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:17,406
I was pretty anxious too,
you know?
351
00:18:17,510 --> 00:18:22,239
And then one day,
I decided to be myself.
Start putting myself out there.
352
00:18:22,342 --> 00:18:24,620
Like Mr. Toledo's nipples.
353
00:18:26,588 --> 00:18:30,074
I just... I don't wanna
ruin it with Lily.
354
00:18:32,352 --> 00:18:34,320
You won't know till you go.
355
00:18:35,873 --> 00:18:38,393
If things go south,
Stitch and I
will be there to pick you up.
356
00:18:38,496 --> 00:18:40,360
- Really?
- Of course, man.
357
00:18:40,464 --> 00:18:43,950
Part of our crew now.
The Car-bro-retors.
358
00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:47,678
Now I see why you didn't have
any friends in high school.
359
00:18:47,781 --> 00:18:48,920
Yeah.
360
00:18:49,990 --> 00:18:52,752
But if you made it through,
so can I.
361
00:18:53,339 --> 00:18:54,236
I'll go.
362
00:18:54,340 --> 00:18:56,065
Attaboy. Now we're talking.
363
00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:59,034
- Whoa, whoa,
you forgetting something?
- Oh, right.
364
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,140
I love you, man.
365
00:19:01,519 --> 00:19:04,350
No, dude. The nose strip.
366
00:19:07,353 --> 00:19:08,457
Yeah.
367
00:19:10,010 --> 00:19:12,461
I smell Mom's brownies.
368
00:19:12,565 --> 00:19:14,083
Good for you.
369
00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:16,672
Now, you remembered to put
sugar in this time, right?
370
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:19,365
Damn it.
371
00:19:21,021 --> 00:19:22,609
Man.
372
00:19:22,713 --> 00:19:24,611
All that stuff with Georgia
got me thinking about Mom.
373
00:19:24,715 --> 00:19:27,235
You and your mom
had a lot of fights in here,
I'll tell you that.
374
00:19:27,338 --> 00:19:29,444
Yeah, but I wasn't as bad
as Georgia.
375
00:19:30,514 --> 00:19:32,274
You forgot
your whole childhood, right?
376
00:19:32,378 --> 00:19:34,449
What are you talking about?
377
00:19:34,552 --> 00:19:37,935
Your mom embarrassed you
from the moment you put on
those shiny black moon boots.
378
00:19:38,038 --> 00:19:40,109
You mean Doc Martens?
379
00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:43,216
I don't care what doctor
you got them from, you were
embarrassed by your mother.
380
00:19:43,665 --> 00:19:46,323
You had her pick you up
a block away from school.
381
00:19:46,426 --> 00:19:49,084
You guys bolt in here
for no reason,
screaming at each other.
382
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:52,846
"Do you believe her, Dad?"
And then Mom would point
to me, "It's your daughter."
383
00:19:52,950 --> 00:19:56,574
You two arguing like that
was like being on The View
on election day.
384
00:19:57,437 --> 00:20:01,269
Then you'd come in with all
your fake toxic male stuff
385
00:20:01,372 --> 00:20:04,030
to give us a common enemy
like you did today.
386
00:20:04,133 --> 00:20:08,172
Yeah, but gotta be honest,
back then it wasn't fake.
387
00:20:09,898 --> 00:20:11,762
You made a big change.
388
00:20:11,865 --> 00:20:13,488
And then when Georgia's older,
she's gonna realize
what you've done.
389
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:16,111
You know, when she's, like, 21.
390
00:20:16,594 --> 00:20:17,975
And until then...
391
00:20:18,078 --> 00:20:19,287
It's gonna be horrible.
392
00:20:20,149 --> 00:20:24,119
And then they get into
the teenage years. That's
when you learn to be mean.
393
00:20:24,464 --> 00:20:28,779
Then the hormones kick in,
and that, uh, monthly visitor
shows up.
394
00:20:29,573 --> 00:20:32,127
Shark attack, shark attack.
Ay-yi-yi.
395
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:35,958
Oh-ho-ho. You're, like, doing
the fake caveman thing again.
396
00:20:36,683 --> 00:20:37,857
What?
397
00:20:41,170 --> 00:20:44,035
Guess who got
a one-on-one date with Lily.
398
00:20:44,139 --> 00:20:45,589
Peep the drip.
399
00:20:45,968 --> 00:20:47,763
Whoo. Let's go.
400
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:51,802
Technically, she's giving me
bio tutoring after school,
but...
401
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,667
your boy's in the game.
402
00:20:54,770 --> 00:20:56,496
It's still go!
403
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:59,534
Hello, gentlemen.
I see no work's been done,
so I was right.
404
00:20:59,637 --> 00:21:01,570
You are a loser
in this mentor business.
405
00:21:01,674 --> 00:21:06,126
He may have failed with my car,
but he won himself
a little bro.
406
00:21:06,644 --> 00:21:08,853
Gross. All right, Carter,
hop over here.
407
00:21:08,957 --> 00:21:10,717
We're gonna
start this over again.
408
00:21:10,821 --> 00:21:12,581
We're gonna figure out how to
do the whole thing. Hold on.
409
00:21:12,685 --> 00:21:14,894
Uh! You know the rule, Pops,
no phones.
410
00:21:14,997 --> 00:21:18,311
You have to learn to actually
do things, not just watch.
411
00:21:19,830 --> 00:21:23,109
Timothรฉe Chalamet
done lost his damn mind.
33014
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