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1
00:00:07,465 --> 00:00:10,757
? You know it's gotta
be G'd up, yep ?
2
00:00:10,758 --> 00:00:11,757
? That kind of ish
that make you cowards ?
3
00:00:11,758 --> 00:00:13,275
? Get beat up, ha-ha ?
4
00:00:13,276 --> 00:00:15,378
? We on the outs until we
called and go do bids ?
5
00:00:15,379 --> 00:00:16,999
? Man, you know the
streets ain't for kids ?
6
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,379
? Come on, come on ?
7
00:00:18,448 --> 00:00:21,379
? I can't take
the hood out of me ?
8
00:00:23,379 --> 00:00:25,551
- No white man talks
to me like that.
9
00:00:25,620 --> 00:00:26,670
You get a punch!
10
00:00:26,671 --> 00:00:27,688
You get a punch!
11
00:00:27,689 --> 00:00:29,413
You get a punch!
12
00:00:29,482 --> 00:00:32,482
- Damn, "The Oprah Show"
done got crazy.
13
00:00:32,551 --> 00:00:34,758
- Unc, this is
"The Color Purple" on BET.
14
00:00:34,827 --> 00:00:37,413
- They got full movies
on this thing now?
15
00:00:37,482 --> 00:00:39,712
[laughs] I should have
jacked Mrs. O'Lady's
16
00:00:39,758 --> 00:00:41,620
cable a long time ago.
17
00:00:41,689 --> 00:00:45,172
- Next Saturday on BET,
live from Baltimore,
18
00:00:45,241 --> 00:00:47,379
it's the World Series
of Spades
19
00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:49,689
Super Tournament of Champions,
20
00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:51,931
featuring a cavalcade
of winners
21
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,310
from the last 50 years.
22
00:00:54,379 --> 00:00:57,103
- [yawns]
It's getting late.
23
00:00:57,172 --> 00:00:59,758
Time to throw the TV out
the window and go to bed.
24
00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:01,103
- Oh my god, Mom!
25
00:01:01,172 --> 00:01:03,103
You're on TV with
a guy who looks
26
00:01:03,104 --> 00:01:04,757
like a skinny,
underwear-wearing version
27
00:01:04,758 --> 00:01:05,792
of Dad.
28
00:01:05,793 --> 00:01:07,413
- I said, that's enough.
29
00:01:07,482 --> 00:01:08,724
[all gasp]
30
00:01:08,793 --> 00:01:09,862
I'm sorry.
31
00:01:09,931 --> 00:01:11,965
Spades is a sore spot with me.
32
00:01:12,034 --> 00:01:13,655
I- I don't want
to talk about it.
33
00:01:13,724 --> 00:01:16,241
- Oh, sis,
that breaks my heart.
34
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:18,724
You were the best.
35
00:01:18,793 --> 00:01:20,103
- Yes, we were.
36
00:01:20,104 --> 00:01:21,171
- You were?
37
00:01:21,172 --> 00:01:22,827
- Hell yeah.
38
00:01:22,896 --> 00:01:25,965
Your Moms and Pops won that
tournament four times in a row.
39
00:01:26,034 --> 00:01:28,172
- That's all in the past now.
40
00:01:28,241 --> 00:01:29,862
But what a past.
41
00:01:29,931 --> 00:01:31,931
[upbeat funky music]
42
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:36,586
Ashford and Simpson, Peaches
and Herb, Arnold and Willis-
43
00:01:36,655 --> 00:01:38,034
peasants to us.
44
00:01:38,103 --> 00:01:40,413
When it came to duos
in the Spades game,
45
00:01:40,482 --> 00:01:44,137
we were unstoppable.
46
00:01:44,206 --> 00:01:45,793
We were in tune.
47
00:01:45,862 --> 00:01:48,310
We even had our own
special language.
48
00:01:48,379 --> 00:01:49,724
- Don't mess this book up.
49
00:01:49,793 --> 00:01:51,000
We need it.
50
00:01:51,001 --> 00:01:52,481
- You're the one
underbidding, fool!
51
00:01:52,482 --> 00:01:55,103
- Damn, I love it
when you get toxic.
52
00:01:55,172 --> 00:01:56,310
Where you coming in?
53
00:01:56,379 --> 00:01:58,551
- A girl's best friend, dummy.
54
00:01:58,620 --> 00:02:00,000
[all cheering]
55
00:02:00,068 --> 00:02:03,000
The more we'd bickered,
the better we'd played.
56
00:02:03,068 --> 00:02:05,413
[blows]
57
00:02:05,482 --> 00:02:07,931
[cheers and applause]
58
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,068
[loud explosion]
59
00:02:10,137 --> 00:02:12,827
[sirens wailing]
60
00:02:12,896 --> 00:02:14,482
- You blew up the hotel?
61
00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:16,827
- Nah, but it sure
felt that way.
62
00:02:16,896 --> 00:02:19,034
That's how good
things were with us.
63
00:02:19,103 --> 00:02:22,344
All day long we'd fight
and play killer Spades,
64
00:02:22,413 --> 00:02:25,827
and all night long
we'd make sweet-
65
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:28,172
um, tater tots.
66
00:02:28,241 --> 00:02:29,896
- I love tater tots.
67
00:02:29,965 --> 00:02:32,758
- But it all went bad at the
tournament eight years ago.
68
00:02:32,827 --> 00:02:35,068
We were going
for the championship
69
00:02:35,137 --> 00:02:37,379
against our archrivals.
70
00:02:37,448 --> 00:02:40,034
But Henry was in terrible
shape by then.
71
00:02:40,103 --> 00:02:42,137
Even his liquor was on drugs.
72
00:02:42,206 --> 00:02:44,172
He ruined it for us.
73
00:02:44,241 --> 00:02:46,000
He- I- I don't want
to talk about it.
74
00:02:46,001 --> 00:02:47,102
- Whew!
75
00:02:47,103 --> 00:02:48,344
But it was bad.
76
00:02:48,345 --> 00:02:50,136
- Carl Lewis singing
the national anthem bad?
77
00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:52,206
- I said I don't want
to talk about it.
78
00:02:52,275 --> 00:02:54,896
- What could he have
done that was so bad?
79
00:02:54,965 --> 00:02:58,724
- I got the big joker, bitch!
80
00:02:58,793 --> 00:02:59,896
[elephant trumpets]
81
00:02:59,965 --> 00:03:01,034
- Oh!
82
00:03:01,103 --> 00:03:02,413
- [speaking in tongues]
83
00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:04,034
- In the name of Jesus.
84
00:03:04,103 --> 00:03:05,965
- OK, now that-
85
00:03:06,034 --> 00:03:07,448
that's pretty bad.
86
00:03:07,449 --> 00:03:09,723
- Henry did six months
for indecent exposure.
87
00:03:09,724 --> 00:03:12,413
The judge gave him
a month for every inch.
88
00:03:12,482 --> 00:03:14,448
- I would have done 12.
89
00:03:14,517 --> 00:03:16,827
13 if it was humid.
90
00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:19,586
- That was the beginning
of the end for us.
91
00:03:19,655 --> 00:03:23,275
He's the only partner who could
match me, and he ruined it.
92
00:03:23,344 --> 00:03:25,448
I said goodbye
to Spades forever.
93
00:03:25,517 --> 00:03:27,267
- I can see how much
you miss it, Mom.
94
00:03:27,268 --> 00:03:28,757
Why don't you just
go to Baltimore
95
00:03:28,758 --> 00:03:31,033
and play a few games, you know,
have some fun?
96
00:03:31,034 --> 00:03:32,084
- Fun?
97
00:03:32,103 --> 00:03:33,862
Spades is not fun.
98
00:03:33,931 --> 00:03:35,965
Spades is life.
99
00:03:36,034 --> 00:03:37,413
It gives you power.
100
00:03:37,482 --> 00:03:40,689
You don't just beat your
opponent; you ruin them.
101
00:03:40,758 --> 00:03:44,103
You crush their spirit,
and you feel alive.
102
00:03:44,172 --> 00:03:48,586
You are the king and the queen,
and your opponents are ants-
103
00:03:48,655 --> 00:03:52,068
worthless, miserable ants.
104
00:03:52,137 --> 00:03:56,000
And god, I miss it so!
105
00:03:56,068 --> 00:03:57,118
[sobs]
106
00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:58,275
- No, you are right.
107
00:03:58,344 --> 00:03:59,758
That does not sound fun.
108
00:03:59,827 --> 00:04:02,758
But I mean, look, if Dad
was such a good player,
109
00:04:02,759 --> 00:04:04,447
maybe you could ask
him to go with you.
110
00:04:04,448 --> 00:04:05,481
Give him another chance.
111
00:04:05,482 --> 00:04:07,206
- After what he did?
112
00:04:07,275 --> 00:04:11,137
The only way on Earth I'd even
consider sharing a Spades table
113
00:04:11,206 --> 00:04:15,620
with him again would be
if he got completely sober,
114
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:18,103
and we all know
that's never going to happen.
115
00:04:18,172 --> 00:04:19,551
- OK, got it.
116
00:04:19,552 --> 00:04:21,240
Well, I'll give him
the good news tomorrow.
117
00:04:21,241 --> 00:04:24,172
- Technically, I didn't say
I'd play with him again.
118
00:04:24,241 --> 00:04:26,051
- She willing to
play with me again?
119
00:04:26,103 --> 00:04:27,931
- Those were her exact words-
120
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,379
more- more or less.
121
00:04:29,380 --> 00:04:31,447
- I'd love to toss them
cards with her again.
122
00:04:31,448 --> 00:04:33,724
We were on fire in those days.
123
00:04:33,793 --> 00:04:37,655
It was fight, fight,
fight, and then-
124
00:04:37,724 --> 00:04:39,044
put the pigs in the blanket.
125
00:04:39,068 --> 00:04:41,068
- You guys sure do
like hors d'oeuvres.
126
00:04:41,069 --> 00:04:42,102
- OK, I'll play!
127
00:04:42,103 --> 00:04:43,793
- Great.
128
00:04:43,794 --> 00:04:46,619
All you got to do is get clean
and sober by next Saturday.
129
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:49,206
- Oh, man,
I need a drink so bad.
130
00:04:49,275 --> 00:04:50,448
[whimpers]
131
00:04:50,517 --> 00:04:52,241
- Dad, come on.
132
00:04:52,242 --> 00:04:54,102
You keep saying that you want
a chance to get back with Mom.
133
00:04:54,103 --> 00:04:56,516
Well, this is it, and you
might not get another one.
134
00:04:56,517 --> 00:04:58,000
- I'll do it.
135
00:04:58,068 --> 00:04:59,517
After this.
136
00:04:59,586 --> 00:05:03,413
[gulps] Ah, some crude
to get me in the mood.
137
00:05:03,482 --> 00:05:07,310
- Henry Hart,
I can't believe my eyes.
138
00:05:07,379 --> 00:05:09,758
Did you really do it for me?
139
00:05:09,827 --> 00:05:13,034
- I am totally,
unequivocally clean.
140
00:05:13,103 --> 00:05:14,413
- I helped him, Mom.
141
00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:15,516
I mean, look, it really
wasn't that hard.
142
00:05:15,517 --> 00:05:16,586
Right, Dad?
143
00:05:16,655 --> 00:05:19,275
- No, I breezed through it.
144
00:05:19,344 --> 00:05:23,344
[whimpering]
145
00:05:23,413 --> 00:05:25,655
Unhand me, motherfucker!
146
00:05:25,724 --> 00:05:27,034
[retches]
147
00:05:27,103 --> 00:05:29,827
[whimpering]
148
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:31,862
- Give me the
goddamn juice, nigga!
149
00:05:31,863 --> 00:05:32,895
I need it.
150
00:05:32,896 --> 00:05:35,931
- Don't kill me, Spider Henry.
151
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,517
Mama!
152
00:05:37,586 --> 00:05:39,827
Like I said, it was a breeze.
153
00:05:39,896 --> 00:05:42,724
Uh, you ain't seen none
of that flashback, did you?
154
00:05:42,793 --> 00:05:46,344
- I didn't think you
could do it, but you did.
155
00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:49,310
All right,
we will go to Baltimore,
156
00:05:49,379 --> 00:05:51,241
and we will enter
that tournament.
157
00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:53,000
But you understand this-
158
00:05:53,068 --> 00:05:57,206
you are my Spades
partner and nothing more.
159
00:05:57,275 --> 00:05:58,689
You will not touch me.
160
00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:00,482
You will not sniff my hair.
161
00:06:00,551 --> 00:06:02,896
You will not drink
a drop of alcohol.
162
00:06:02,897 --> 00:06:03,964
- I swear.
163
00:06:03,965 --> 00:06:05,172
Scout's honor.
164
00:06:05,173 --> 00:06:07,136
- And Kevin is coming
along to watch you
165
00:06:07,137 --> 00:06:08,620
and be a buffer between us.
166
00:06:08,621 --> 00:06:09,654
- I'll be co-buffer.
167
00:06:09,655 --> 00:06:11,068
- Then it's done.
168
00:06:11,069 --> 00:06:13,033
We're going to take
our championship back,
169
00:06:13,034 --> 00:06:17,034
and the Harts are getting a
wholesome family vacation.
170
00:06:17,103 --> 00:06:21,379
Uh, this kind of undercuts
the moment, don't it?
171
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:25,827
- Nancy, I love you, but if
any of you scratch El CaCharro,
172
00:06:25,896 --> 00:06:28,241
I'll scratch you.
173
00:06:28,310 --> 00:06:30,413
- Pop the trunk for us,
will you?
174
00:06:30,414 --> 00:06:31,999
- Oh, no.
You cannot use the trunk.
175
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,050
- Why?
176
00:06:33,068 --> 00:06:34,241
You got a body in there?
177
00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:37,482
[laughter]
178
00:06:37,483 --> 00:06:41,205
- Don't ask questions you
don't want the answer to.
179
00:06:41,206 --> 00:06:42,413
- Uh.
- S๏ฟฝ.
180
00:06:42,482 --> 00:06:43,896
Gracias.
181
00:06:43,965 --> 00:06:45,172
- Boys, let's go.
182
00:06:45,241 --> 00:06:47,517
both: Be right there.
183
00:06:47,518 --> 00:06:48,930
- Why are you coming, anyway?
184
00:06:48,931 --> 00:06:50,586
I mean, you don't like Spades.
185
00:06:50,587 --> 00:06:52,516
You don't like any game
with counting involved.
186
00:06:52,517 --> 00:06:53,861
- Nah, what I like
is all the poontang
187
00:06:53,862 --> 00:06:55,448
waiting for me in Baltimore.
188
00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:57,205
I went to that tournament
with Mom and Dad
189
00:06:57,206 --> 00:07:00,172
when I was, like, eight,
and the video game room at the
190
00:07:00,241 --> 00:07:03,034
hotel was full of older girls.
191
00:07:03,103 --> 00:07:04,551
Real PYTs.
192
00:07:04,620 --> 00:07:07,068
I'm talking bitches.
193
00:07:07,137 --> 00:07:11,172
Now, I'm a man now,
and I might have sex.
194
00:07:11,241 --> 00:07:14,586
And if you be nice,
I might even let you watch.
195
00:07:14,655 --> 00:07:16,000
- I don't need your help.
196
00:07:16,068 --> 00:07:18,241
I already have
the girl of my dreams.
197
00:07:18,242 --> 00:07:19,343
Hey, Rhe Rhe!
198
00:07:19,344 --> 00:07:22,551
- Hey, hey, Kev.
199
00:07:22,620 --> 00:07:24,068
- Wake up, fool.
200
00:07:24,137 --> 00:07:27,655
Girls like her only want
dudes with experience.
201
00:07:27,724 --> 00:07:29,000
- I have experience.
202
00:07:29,001 --> 00:07:30,067
Lots of it.
203
00:07:30,068 --> 00:07:31,102
- Oh, yeah?
204
00:07:31,103 --> 00:07:33,448
You ever seen a boob?
205
00:07:33,517 --> 00:07:34,724
- Does Gerald's count?
206
00:07:34,725 --> 00:07:36,205
- Nigga, what's wrong with you?
207
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:37,655
You scared of pussy?
208
00:07:37,656 --> 00:07:39,757
The only way to get
Rhe Rhe interested in you
209
00:07:39,758 --> 00:07:43,827
is to get some experience
with some real boobs.
210
00:07:43,896 --> 00:07:45,655
- Next stop, Baltimore.
211
00:07:45,724 --> 00:07:47,620
- Yah-dah-dee!
212
00:07:47,689 --> 00:07:49,655
[engine turning over]
- Good luck!
213
00:07:49,724 --> 00:07:53,482
I'll be watching you
slinging Spades on BET.
214
00:07:53,551 --> 00:07:55,448
- Hang on.
Hard turn.
215
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:56,655
Ohh!
216
00:07:56,724 --> 00:07:59,034
- Whoa!
- Augh.
217
00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:02,103
- So good to have
the family all together.
218
00:08:02,172 --> 00:08:04,758
- Baby, we finally got
the crib to ourselves.
219
00:08:04,827 --> 00:08:07,689
A whole weekend of
stolen cable and chill.
220
00:08:07,758 --> 00:08:09,448
- Richie, you got cable?
221
00:08:09,517 --> 00:08:12,862
I've been dying to see
that "Def Jam Comedy Hour."
222
00:08:12,863 --> 00:08:15,343
- Lookit here,
this ear-hustling motherfucker.
223
00:08:15,344 --> 00:08:17,172
[indistinct chatter]
224
00:08:17,241 --> 00:08:18,344
- I call "Video Soul."
225
00:08:18,413 --> 00:08:20,172
- "Australian Rules Football."
226
00:08:20,241 --> 00:08:21,482
Them uniforms are tight.
227
00:08:21,483 --> 00:08:22,550
- "Comic View."
228
00:08:22,551 --> 00:08:25,068
- I bring snacks, $10.
229
00:08:25,069 --> 00:08:26,757
- Excuse me,
you mind if I sit on your lap?
230
00:08:26,758 --> 00:08:27,792
- I'll sit here.
231
00:08:27,793 --> 00:08:30,689
[gentle flute music]
232
00:08:30,758 --> 00:08:34,137
? ?
233
00:08:34,206 --> 00:08:35,413
[gunshots]
234
00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:36,862
[sirens wailing]
235
00:08:36,931 --> 00:08:38,172
[upbeat funky music]
236
00:08:38,241 --> 00:08:39,620
- I'm back, baby.
237
00:08:39,689 --> 00:08:42,551
Ooh, I smell that fire again.
238
00:08:42,620 --> 00:08:44,610
- Sorry, that was
probably the propane
239
00:08:44,620 --> 00:08:46,275
I had lingering in my system.
240
00:08:46,344 --> 00:08:49,137
- Try to hold it together
for at least five minutes.
241
00:08:49,206 --> 00:08:51,862
- Nancy, you're looking
at a different Henry.
242
00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:55,413
Bartender, I'll have a
Mountain Dew, please.
243
00:08:55,482 --> 00:08:56,532
Neat.
244
00:08:56,586 --> 00:08:58,000
- OK, here's the plan.
245
00:08:58,068 --> 00:09:01,482
I bag the hotties,
and you bag the ug mugs.
246
00:09:01,551 --> 00:09:02,751
- Why do I get the ug mugs?
247
00:09:02,758 --> 00:09:04,000
No, I'm handsome.
248
00:09:04,068 --> 00:09:05,818
- Nigga,
you are four feet of fugly.
249
00:09:05,862 --> 00:09:07,965
Now come with me
to the game room-
250
00:09:07,966 --> 00:09:09,999
that's where all the
hotties were last time-
251
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,344
and I'll show you
how much game I got.
252
00:09:12,413 --> 00:09:15,620
All right, now remember,
if you want to pull a chick,
253
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:17,413
you gotta be smooth.
254
00:09:17,482 --> 00:09:18,620
You gotta be player.
255
00:09:18,689 --> 00:09:20,586
You gotta be-
256
00:09:20,655 --> 00:09:22,517
12?
257
00:09:22,586 --> 00:09:23,793
Aw, shit.
258
00:09:23,862 --> 00:09:25,827
This game room is full of kids.
259
00:09:25,896 --> 00:09:28,724
Oh, now one of them
coming over here.
260
00:09:28,793 --> 00:09:30,517
I can't be seen with her.
261
00:09:30,586 --> 00:09:32,275
Wait, where is she going?
262
00:09:32,344 --> 00:09:33,551
- Hi, I'm Lynnie.
263
00:09:33,552 --> 00:09:34,654
What's your name?
264
00:09:34,655 --> 00:09:36,241
- Lynnie- is your name.
265
00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:37,360
Yeah.
266
00:09:37,361 --> 00:09:38,516
Well, my- my name is, uh-
267
00:09:38,517 --> 00:09:39,567
don't tell me, I'll-
268
00:09:39,568 --> 00:09:40,585
I'll get it.
269
00:09:40,586 --> 00:09:41,619
It's, uh, Kev.
270
00:09:41,620 --> 00:09:42,619
Yeah, Kev.
271
00:09:42,620 --> 00:09:43,670
My name is Kev.
272
00:09:43,724 --> 00:09:45,620
- [giggles]
You're funny.
273
00:09:45,621 --> 00:09:46,688
You want to play "Dig Dug"?
274
00:09:46,689 --> 00:09:47,688
- Yeah, sure.
275
00:09:47,689 --> 00:09:48,723
I dug dig- dig that.
276
00:09:48,724 --> 00:09:50,379
I mean, I dig dog that.
277
00:09:50,448 --> 00:09:51,758
I- that game.
278
00:09:51,827 --> 00:09:52,877
The- the game.
279
00:09:52,931 --> 00:09:55,103
- The old faking a stroke bit.
280
00:09:55,172 --> 00:09:56,862
Works every time.
281
00:09:56,931 --> 00:10:00,000
- Live from the Spades capital
of the world, Baltimore,
282
00:10:00,068 --> 00:10:02,379
Maryland,
it's the 50th Anniversary
283
00:10:02,448 --> 00:10:05,620
World Series of Spades
Tournament of Champions.
284
00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:06,758
I'm Rachel Stuart.
285
00:10:06,827 --> 00:10:08,344
- And I'm Donnie Simpson.
286
00:10:08,413 --> 00:10:11,379
Welcome to the granddaddy
of Spades tournaments,
287
00:10:11,448 --> 00:10:15,965
sponsored by Magic Shave,
Magnum Condoms, and Snapple.
288
00:10:16,034 --> 00:10:19,206
Shave, make love,
hydrate, repeat.
289
00:10:19,275 --> 00:10:22,034
- This year only
the best will compete,
290
00:10:22,103 --> 00:10:25,448
including two-time defending
champs Tami and Reverend Monty
291
00:10:25,517 --> 00:10:29,344
Money, and past legends
Nancy and Henry Hart,
292
00:10:29,413 --> 00:10:32,586
whose lifetime ban ended
on a technicality after
293
00:10:32,655 --> 00:10:34,655
he died for five minutes.
294
00:10:34,724 --> 00:10:38,862
- Good god almighty,
Nancy and Henry.
295
00:10:38,931 --> 00:10:41,344
Haven't seen you since-
296
00:10:41,413 --> 00:10:42,827
you know.
297
00:10:42,828 --> 00:10:44,516
- Ooh, we didn't think
you sinners would
298
00:10:44,517 --> 00:10:46,172
ever show your faces again.
299
00:10:46,241 --> 00:10:49,137
And we hope you don't
show anything else.
300
00:10:49,206 --> 00:10:50,586
- Just our cards.
301
00:10:50,655 --> 00:10:52,655
And good luck to you.
302
00:10:52,724 --> 00:10:54,275
[indistinct chatter]
303
00:10:54,344 --> 00:10:56,448
- Augh! Ohh! Nancy!
304
00:10:56,517 --> 00:10:58,793
- Every night
when my head hits the pillow,
305
00:10:58,862 --> 00:11:01,551
I think about what you
did to make us lose.
306
00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:04,448
And I'm going to feed on that
angle to put us over
307
00:11:04,517 --> 00:11:05,567
the top again.
308
00:11:05,620 --> 00:11:07,344
Now let's play some Spades!
309
00:11:07,413 --> 00:11:11,827
[upbeat funky music]
310
00:11:11,896 --> 00:11:13,172
[cheers and applause]
311
00:11:13,241 --> 00:11:20,103
? ?
312
00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:26,482
Yes!
313
00:11:26,551 --> 00:11:33,689
? ?
314
00:11:38,206 --> 00:11:40,724
- High-top fades
may be in, but Nancy
315
00:11:40,793 --> 00:11:42,620
Hart just won with a low cut.
316
00:11:42,689 --> 00:11:44,931
? ?
317
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:48,862
[cheers and applause]
318
00:11:48,931 --> 00:11:51,344
- Crikey,
another score for Brisbane!
319
00:11:51,345 --> 00:11:52,378
[remote clicks]
320
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:53,586
- Boo!
321
00:11:53,587 --> 00:11:54,964
- This is the shit
you did in the joint!
322
00:11:54,965 --> 00:11:57,344
- This sucks!
- Hey, I want to watch BET.
323
00:11:57,413 --> 00:11:59,620
My big sister
is slangin' Spades.
324
00:11:59,689 --> 00:12:01,137
[all groaning]
325
00:12:01,206 --> 00:12:03,344
- Whoa!
Listen up, fuckers.
326
00:12:03,413 --> 00:12:06,724
Richard stole this cable,
so he decides what we watch.
327
00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:08,931
And he wants
to watch his sister
328
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:12,000
play some fucking Spades!
329
00:12:12,068 --> 00:12:16,655
- Damn,
she said it with her breasts.
330
00:12:16,724 --> 00:12:18,068
I'm in love.
331
00:12:18,137 --> 00:12:20,413
- Brian Weaver
with a crazy play,
332
00:12:20,482 --> 00:12:23,793
coming strong with
an ace of spades.
333
00:12:23,794 --> 00:12:25,309
- Damn it, Henry,
why were you throwing
334
00:12:25,310 --> 00:12:28,241
off spades if your stupid
behind didn't have the ace?
335
00:12:28,310 --> 00:12:30,482
- Don't doubt me,
be about me, baby.
336
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:31,585
Bam!
337
00:12:31,586 --> 00:12:33,689
- The big joker.
338
00:12:33,758 --> 00:12:36,379
Look out, world-
the Harts are back!
339
00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:38,826
- They're in the finals against
defending champs
340
00:12:38,827 --> 00:12:41,275
the Reverend Monty
and Tami Money.
341
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:43,206
- It'll be saints
versus sinners.
342
00:12:43,275 --> 00:12:46,034
Find out who takes
home the grand prize-
343
00:12:46,103 --> 00:12:51,103
a year's supply of Rice
Baloney, the Sacramento Treat.
344
00:12:51,172 --> 00:12:53,896
- Henry, we finally
got our rematch!
345
00:12:53,897 --> 00:12:55,826
- I'm so glad you gave
me another chance.
346
00:12:55,827 --> 00:12:57,379
- You know what?
347
00:12:57,448 --> 00:12:59,827
I'm glad too.
348
00:12:59,896 --> 00:13:03,482
[gentle music]
349
00:13:03,551 --> 00:13:06,896
[video game beeping]
350
00:13:06,897 --> 00:13:07,999
- You won!
351
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,896
You're really good, Kev.
352
00:13:09,965 --> 00:13:11,551
- Yeah, well, you know, I, um-
353
00:13:11,552 --> 00:13:13,619
I get a lot of practice
of shooting lasers at invading
354
00:13:13,620 --> 00:13:14,862
space worms in Philly.
355
00:13:14,931 --> 00:13:16,310
- Ooh, I like Philly boys.
356
00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:17,448
- Me too.
357
00:13:17,517 --> 00:13:18,793
I mean, uh, no.
358
00:13:18,862 --> 00:13:21,000
So space worms, huh?
359
00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:24,241
Those- pew, pew, pew, pew.
360
00:13:24,310 --> 00:13:27,379
Excuse me for one tiny second.
361
00:13:27,448 --> 00:13:29,034
Robert, hey.
362
00:13:29,035 --> 00:13:30,895
I'm talking to that girl,
but I don't know what to do.
363
00:13:30,896 --> 00:13:32,137
- Oh, boo-hoo.
364
00:13:32,206 --> 00:13:34,076
You picked up a girl
in five minutes,
365
00:13:34,103 --> 00:13:36,482
and the only girl I got on
my hands is Ms. Pac-Man.
366
00:13:36,551 --> 00:13:39,379
I mean, I do like 'em
light-skinned, but damn!
367
00:13:39,448 --> 00:13:41,689
- Please, just give
me one pointer.
368
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:42,792
- No, moron.
369
00:13:42,793 --> 00:13:43,826
You overthinking it.
370
00:13:43,827 --> 00:13:45,310
She's already into you.
371
00:13:45,311 --> 00:13:47,550
You need to take her to the
room and make your move.
372
00:13:47,551 --> 00:13:49,654
Remember, when you get
her up in that room
373
00:13:49,655 --> 00:13:52,034
and you start smooching
and you beating them
374
00:13:52,103 --> 00:13:54,000
cheeks, you doing it
for Rhe Rhe.
375
00:13:54,068 --> 00:13:57,724
- So to get Rhe Rhe to like
me, I gotta do the nasty
376
00:13:57,793 --> 00:13:59,233
with a random girl I just met?
377
00:13:59,275 --> 00:14:02,034
- Ah, now you're getting it.
378
00:14:02,103 --> 00:14:03,153
Now go get it!
379
00:14:03,172 --> 00:14:05,448
- This is for Rhe Rhe.
380
00:14:05,517 --> 00:14:09,620
So I was wondering
if you, uh, want-
381
00:14:09,689 --> 00:14:10,739
want to take a walk.
382
00:14:10,793 --> 00:14:14,000
You know, get some fresh air-
383
00:14:14,068 --> 00:14:15,379
in my room?
384
00:14:15,448 --> 00:14:16,551
- OK.
385
00:14:16,552 --> 00:14:17,516
- My bad, I didn't mean it.
386
00:14:17,517 --> 00:14:18,586
Wait, what?
387
00:14:18,587 --> 00:14:19,964
You- hold on, you said yes?
388
00:14:19,965 --> 00:14:23,620
[video game beeping]
389
00:14:23,689 --> 00:14:25,034
- He did it!
390
00:14:25,103 --> 00:14:27,034
Wait, why do I care?
391
00:14:27,103 --> 00:14:28,827
I gotta get laid.
392
00:14:28,896 --> 00:14:31,068
Oh, hell no.
393
00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:33,482
I'm not into no Jurassic ass.
394
00:14:33,551 --> 00:14:35,862
- [smooches]
395
00:14:35,931 --> 00:14:37,344
- Kev, you got this.
396
00:14:37,413 --> 00:14:39,413
Kissing a girl for Rhe Rhe,
OK?
397
00:14:39,482 --> 00:14:41,052
Everything is going
to be fine.
398
00:14:41,068 --> 00:14:43,517
There's nothing
to be afraid of.
399
00:14:43,586 --> 00:14:44,896
- Yes!
400
00:14:44,897 --> 00:14:46,240
That's the Hammerin'
Hank I remember.
401
00:14:46,241 --> 00:14:47,930
- Mmm, Kevin want
a little brother!
402
00:14:47,931 --> 00:14:48,964
Mmm!
403
00:14:48,965 --> 00:14:50,275
Who is the King of Harts?
404
00:14:50,344 --> 00:14:52,310
- You are, Big Daddy Spade!
405
00:14:52,311 --> 00:14:53,205
[door slams]
406
00:14:53,206 --> 00:14:54,793
- What the hell was that?
407
00:14:54,862 --> 00:14:55,912
- I don't know!
408
00:14:55,931 --> 00:14:58,758
I mean, did I really see it?
409
00:14:58,827 --> 00:15:00,379
- Yah-dah-dee!
410
00:15:00,448 --> 00:15:02,275
Whoo! Oh!
411
00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:03,343
- Shit!
412
00:15:03,344 --> 00:15:05,275
- Oh my god, I did see it.
413
00:15:05,276 --> 00:15:07,102
- I don't know what kind
of shit you're into,
414
00:15:07,103 --> 00:15:08,551
but I want no part of it.
415
00:15:08,552 --> 00:15:10,447
- No, no, wait a minute.
You don't understand.
416
00:15:10,448 --> 00:15:11,274
I'm not a freak.
417
00:15:11,275 --> 00:15:12,586
Those are my parents.
418
00:15:12,655 --> 00:15:13,862
- What?
419
00:15:13,931 --> 00:15:16,137
You Philly niggas is nasty.
420
00:15:19,068 --> 00:15:21,379
- Man, this weekend sucks.
421
00:15:21,448 --> 00:15:24,482
The girls here are either
too young or too old,
422
00:15:24,551 --> 00:15:26,482
and now I'm all
out of quarters.
423
00:15:26,483 --> 00:15:27,895
Man, I just want
to go to sleep.
424
00:15:27,896 --> 00:15:29,655
- Hey, man, just trust me, OK?
425
00:15:29,656 --> 00:15:32,240
You do not want to be anywhere
near this room tonight.
426
00:15:32,241 --> 00:15:33,689
- Why the hell not?
427
00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:36,068
- Swing them balls low,
sweet chariot.
428
00:15:36,137 --> 00:15:37,275
- [screams]
429
00:15:37,276 --> 00:15:38,171
- Yeah!
430
00:15:38,172 --> 00:15:39,517
- Sock it to me, baby.
431
00:15:39,586 --> 00:15:43,724
Man, everybody's getting
ass except for us.
432
00:15:43,793 --> 00:15:45,310
This trip sucks.
433
00:15:45,468 --> 00:15:47,550
- [moans]
434
00:15:47,551 --> 00:15:49,137
- [snoring]
435
00:15:49,206 --> 00:15:52,137
[ominous music]
436
00:15:52,206 --> 00:15:55,206
? ?
437
00:15:55,275 --> 00:15:57,827
Oh lord, we really did that?
438
00:15:57,896 --> 00:16:00,689
I tried to convince
myself it was a bad dream.
439
00:16:00,758 --> 00:16:02,137
- Oh, it was real.
440
00:16:02,206 --> 00:16:03,620
And speaking of, you a nurse.
441
00:16:03,689 --> 00:16:06,159
Can you stitch up the
nipple you bit off my chest?
442
00:16:06,206 --> 00:16:08,206
- This is awful!
- What?
443
00:16:08,275 --> 00:16:11,034
But didn't I make the
poon-poon go boom-boom?
444
00:16:11,103 --> 00:16:12,724
- You certainly did.
445
00:16:12,793 --> 00:16:15,413
But, Henry,
I can't get back with you.
446
00:16:15,482 --> 00:16:18,931
This was a one-time,
seven-orgasm accident
447
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,413
that'll never happen again.
448
00:16:20,482 --> 00:16:24,310
- [sighs] I counted eight,
but I understand.
449
00:16:24,311 --> 00:16:25,240
We cool?
450
00:16:25,241 --> 00:16:27,551
- Oh, we are cool.
451
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:28,758
I am cool.
452
00:16:28,827 --> 00:16:30,517
I am so cool.
453
00:16:30,518 --> 00:16:33,136
- When somebody shouts
like that, you know it's true.
454
00:16:33,137 --> 00:16:34,551
[upbeat funky music]
455
00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:37,551
- It's Nancy
and Henry Hart versus Tami
456
00:16:37,620 --> 00:16:40,344
and Monty Money
for the championship title.
457
00:16:40,413 --> 00:16:42,862
- And just like
an inner-city 7-Eleven,
458
00:16:42,931 --> 00:16:45,413
we are down to the last straw.
459
00:16:51,068 --> 00:16:53,413
- Nancy, what you coming in?
460
00:16:55,379 --> 00:16:59,275
Baby, I said,
what are you coming in?
461
00:16:59,276 --> 00:17:00,895
- Who said anything
about coming?
462
00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:02,310
Ain't nobody coming.
463
00:17:02,379 --> 00:17:04,793
[all gasps]
- A 3?
464
00:17:04,862 --> 00:17:07,758
- I'm very confused
by Nancy's strategy.
465
00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:09,551
- Or lack thereof.
466
00:17:11,137 --> 00:17:12,689
- Focus on the cards, Nancy.
467
00:17:12,758 --> 00:17:14,068
[mystical chiming]
468
00:17:14,137 --> 00:17:16,827
- Forget the cards and
focus on your cooter-cat.
469
00:17:16,896 --> 00:17:19,931
Or rather, let me.
470
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,689
[moaning, chomping]
471
00:17:21,758 --> 00:17:23,241
- Mmm-mmm.
472
00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:25,724
- I call a ream-out.
473
00:17:25,793 --> 00:17:27,586
I- I mean a time-out.
474
00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:28,827
[sighs]
475
00:17:28,896 --> 00:17:29,946
- Nancy!
476
00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:31,379
[indistinct chatter]
477
00:17:31,448 --> 00:17:33,000
Nancy!
478
00:17:33,068 --> 00:17:36,724
I mean this in the nicest way,
but what in the actual fuck?
479
00:17:36,793 --> 00:17:38,103
Why'd you throw that 3?
480
00:17:38,172 --> 00:17:40,172
- You got me off
my game, Henry.
481
00:17:40,241 --> 00:17:41,655
I can't believe it.
482
00:17:41,724 --> 00:17:43,931
We are this close
to winning it all again,
483
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:47,000
and then I sleep with
you and I lose my edge.
484
00:17:47,068 --> 00:17:48,586
- Damn!
485
00:17:48,655 --> 00:17:51,551
Why must I be blessed
with this Mandingo manhood?
486
00:17:51,620 --> 00:17:54,413
- Henry, I didn't know how
much I missed the feeling
487
00:17:54,482 --> 00:17:57,379
that Spades gave me
till I came back to it,
488
00:17:57,448 --> 00:17:59,551
and I don't want
to give it up again.
489
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:02,793
But I can't be great
without that edge.
490
00:18:02,862 --> 00:18:03,931
I have to be mad at you.
491
00:18:03,932 --> 00:18:04,999
I have to-
492
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,172
[ice rattling]
493
00:18:07,241 --> 00:18:08,896
[bell dings]
494
00:18:08,965 --> 00:18:12,413
Henry, thank you for
getting sober, like I asked.
495
00:18:12,482 --> 00:18:14,551
- Well, that's how
much I care about you.
496
00:18:14,620 --> 00:18:16,827
I want you to win
this championship.
497
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:22,310
- I know you do, but to win
I need to be furious at you.
498
00:18:22,379 --> 00:18:28,310
So, Henry, I am asking you
for us- for me-
499
00:18:28,379 --> 00:18:31,103
drink your face
off one more time.
500
00:18:31,172 --> 00:18:34,241
- Oh, Nancy.
501
00:18:34,310 --> 00:18:37,206
But getting clean was so hard.
502
00:18:37,275 --> 00:18:39,137
I mean,
isn't there something else
503
00:18:39,206 --> 00:18:40,586
I could do to piss you off?
504
00:18:40,655 --> 00:18:43,137
Like, can I bone
your sister or something?
505
00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:44,862
- She lives in Tampa.
506
00:18:44,931 --> 00:18:46,551
There's no time.
507
00:18:46,620 --> 00:18:52,310
Please, if you love me,
don't just fall off the wagon.
508
00:18:52,379 --> 00:18:54,413
Jump off that bitch!
509
00:18:56,310 --> 00:19:01,206
- OK,
for the good of this family,
510
00:19:01,275 --> 00:19:03,413
I will get fucked up!
511
00:19:03,482 --> 00:19:06,413
[dramatic music]
512
00:19:06,482 --> 00:19:09,793
? ?
513
00:19:09,862 --> 00:19:12,000
Ahh, ahh.
514
00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:14,103
Ahh!
Ahh!
515
00:19:14,172 --> 00:19:16,724
[gulping]
516
00:19:16,793 --> 00:19:19,000
? ?
517
00:19:19,068 --> 00:19:21,172
[groans]
518
00:19:22,655 --> 00:19:24,379
- Where the hell are they?
519
00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:25,447
- Hold on!
520
00:19:25,448 --> 00:19:26,620
Here we come.
521
00:19:26,689 --> 00:19:30,620
- All right,
all right, all right.
522
00:19:30,689 --> 00:19:33,068
That nigga's swaying
like a pendulum.
523
00:19:33,137 --> 00:19:34,586
[laughs]
524
00:19:34,587 --> 00:19:35,516
[grunts]
525
00:19:35,517 --> 00:19:36,586
Shit! Ohh! Ohh!
526
00:19:36,655 --> 00:19:38,310
- Argh.
527
00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:40,240
- God damn, are you trying
to pierce my shit?
528
00:19:40,241 --> 00:19:41,274
- Sit down.
529
00:19:41,275 --> 00:19:42,931
You're embarrassing me.
530
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,689
Oh my god, my anger is back!
531
00:19:45,758 --> 00:19:47,241
[knuckles crack]
532
00:19:47,310 --> 00:19:49,034
Let's do this.
533
00:19:49,103 --> 00:19:51,482
Broke-ass, big-balled loser.
534
00:19:51,551 --> 00:19:53,655
Worthless puke bucket.
535
00:19:53,724 --> 00:19:55,103
- [gasps]
536
00:19:55,172 --> 00:19:58,724
- Used vacuum cleaner on
my birthday buying lowlife!
537
00:19:58,793 --> 00:20:01,862
- Folks, Nancy Hart is on fire!
538
00:20:01,931 --> 00:20:04,551
- And Henry Hart
is on something else.
539
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,758
- Anything is possible!
540
00:20:06,827 --> 00:20:09,034
- I really don't know
how to play Spades.
541
00:20:09,035 --> 00:20:10,481
- You hook up with
that Lynnie yet?
542
00:20:10,482 --> 00:20:12,102
She's right there
ready to get freaky.
543
00:20:12,103 --> 00:20:13,067
What you waiting on?
544
00:20:13,068 --> 00:20:14,118
- No way.
545
00:20:14,137 --> 00:20:15,187
Mm-mm.
546
00:20:15,206 --> 00:20:16,586
I'm through with all that.
547
00:20:16,587 --> 00:20:18,205
Maybe for the rest of my
life after what I saw.
548
00:20:18,206 --> 00:20:19,827
- Damn!
549
00:20:19,828 --> 00:20:22,240
I knew you were scared of
pussy, scary-ass little nigga.
550
00:20:22,241 --> 00:20:23,551
- Stop it!
551
00:20:23,552 --> 00:20:24,757
I'm tired of you
bullying me into doing
552
00:20:24,758 --> 00:20:26,067
stuff that I don't want to do.
553
00:20:26,068 --> 00:20:27,724
I'm only 12 years old, Robert.
554
00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:31,000
And I met a nice girl who
likes how I shoot space bugs,
555
00:20:31,068 --> 00:20:32,689
and that's enough for me.
556
00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:35,412
So leave me alone and smooch
your own cheeks, damn it!
557
00:20:35,413 --> 00:20:38,896
- [whimpers]
You don't have to be so mean.
558
00:20:38,965 --> 00:20:40,172
- Come here.
559
00:20:40,241 --> 00:20:43,034
Did that scary boy hurt you?
560
00:20:43,103 --> 00:20:44,517
- Yes, ma'am.
561
00:20:44,586 --> 00:20:45,862
Mmm.
562
00:20:45,931 --> 00:20:49,034
You smell like Bengay
and root beer candy
563
00:20:49,103 --> 00:20:51,793
with a hint of Epsom salt.
564
00:20:51,862 --> 00:20:54,068
- I heard what you just
said to your brother.
565
00:20:54,137 --> 00:20:55,517
- You did?
566
00:20:55,586 --> 00:20:58,827
- Yeah, and it makes me
want to do this.
567
00:20:58,896 --> 00:21:01,379
Mwah!
568
00:21:01,448 --> 00:21:05,206
Maybe I'll see you again
in four years.
569
00:21:05,275 --> 00:21:06,517
- It happened!
570
00:21:06,586 --> 00:21:09,068
I finally got my first kiss.
571
00:21:09,137 --> 00:21:10,655
- I'm proud of you, son.
572
00:21:10,724 --> 00:21:12,724
Ooh, Nancy, Kev just got his-
573
00:21:12,725 --> 00:21:13,757
- Shut up!
574
00:21:13,758 --> 00:21:15,206
I'm about to win this thing.
575
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:20,206
My Henry's a clown,
but you two are going downtown.
576
00:21:20,275 --> 00:21:22,068
Yes!
577
00:21:22,137 --> 00:21:24,379
[cheers and applause]
- It's the big joker!
578
00:21:24,448 --> 00:21:25,498
They've done it.
579
00:21:25,517 --> 00:21:27,275
Nancy and Henry win!
580
00:21:27,344 --> 00:21:29,655
- Man, fuck this shit,
fuck Baltimore,
581
00:21:29,724 --> 00:21:34,068
and fuck you, Donnie Simpson,
green-eyed nigga!
582
00:21:34,137 --> 00:21:37,413
[cheers and applause]
583
00:21:37,414 --> 00:21:39,136
- That's my big
sister right there!
584
00:21:39,137 --> 00:21:41,999
And that's my brother-in-law
fighting the security guard!
585
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,379
- I can rip a whole fender
off a car when I'm on PCP.
586
00:21:45,448 --> 00:21:47,344
[upbeat funky music]
587
00:21:47,413 --> 00:21:49,586
- [groaning]
588
00:21:49,655 --> 00:21:52,241
- I know Marisol
said not to use her trunk,
589
00:21:52,310 --> 00:21:54,034
but we got too much stuff.
590
00:21:54,103 --> 00:21:57,172
We have no choice.
591
00:21:57,241 --> 00:21:58,724
- Oh, shit!
592
00:21:58,793 --> 00:22:01,344
- What kind of
John Gotti shit is this?
593
00:22:01,413 --> 00:22:03,206
- [muffled groaning]
594
00:22:03,275 --> 00:22:04,655
- You like Rice Baloney?
595
00:22:04,724 --> 00:22:07,620
You gonna have to eat it
with no hands, though.
596
00:22:07,670 --> 00:22:12,220
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