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A reading from the Holy Bible.
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00:00:04,854 --> 00:00:08,257
Genesis, chapter one. "God created
the heaven and the earth,
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00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:11,459
and the earth was without form
and void, and darkness was
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00:00:11,483 --> 00:00:12,596
- upon the face of the deep..."
Hey, buddy, do we
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00:00:12,627 --> 00:00:13,977
have to be kneeling
this entire time?
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00:00:14,027 --> 00:00:15,575
- Yeah, this is not comfortable.
- I mean, it's gonna get uncomfortable.
7
00:00:15,606 --> 00:00:19,664
Yes, you need to be kneeling. It's 11:58,
and Mac Day's about to officially start.
8
00:00:19,689 --> 00:00:20,858
I want there to be ceremony.
9
00:00:20,888 --> 00:00:22,794
Are we gonna be in the
dark the whole time?
10
00:00:22,812 --> 00:00:25,122
My goodness, this is a
lot of complaining.
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00:00:25,154 --> 00:00:27,154
Charlie, can you please
remind everyone of the rules?
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00:00:27,173 --> 00:00:29,086
We are about to
officially begin Mac Day.
13
00:00:29,104 --> 00:00:32,752
For the entirety of this day, we will
forced to do everything Mac wants us to do.
14
00:00:32,777 --> 00:00:34,283
And if anyone is
caught complaining?
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00:00:34,308 --> 00:00:36,254
An extra day is
added to Mac Day.
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00:00:36,279 --> 00:00:38,090
If you cannot resist
the urge to complain,
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00:00:38,108 --> 00:00:41,781
you are allowed one scream a day to the
ceremonial screaming pillow. That's right.
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00:00:41,822 --> 00:00:43,179
Charlie, when it was your day,
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00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:46,066
for goblins for ten hours
straight?
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00:00:46,084 --> 00:00:48,006
Well, ghouls, and, no,
they didn't complain,
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00:00:48,033 --> 00:00:50,111
- 'cause we found three. It was
pretty sweet. - We found none.
22
00:00:50,139 --> 00:00:52,237
- Yeah?
- We found no ghouls, we found no goblins,
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00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:54,485
- we found no gremlins, because
they don't exist. - Well...
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00:00:54,612 --> 00:00:58,073
Guys, this whole thing was
meant to bring us closer together,
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00:00:58,236 --> 00:01:00,896
and by the end of it, you're gonna
feel a little bit closer to me,
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00:01:01,212 --> 00:01:04,888
- and if I've done my job right, a
little bit closer to God. - Yes.
27
00:01:05,223 --> 00:01:09,130
Because I've modeled my day after
the seven days of God's creation,
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00:01:09,150 --> 00:01:11,426
making my one day feel
like an entire week.
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00:01:11,435 --> 00:01:13,380
- Oh!
- Come on, man.
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00:01:13,403 --> 00:01:14,915
- Really?
- For crying out loud, my knees are...
31
00:01:15,208 --> 00:01:17,561
Three, two, one, begin!
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00:01:18,716 --> 00:01:22,365
On the first day, God
said, "Let there be...
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00:01:24,862 --> 00:01:25,954
Mac."
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00:01:37,278 --> 00:01:47,278
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
35
00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:50,344
Seven straight hours
of lecturing?
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00:01:50,364 --> 00:01:53,856
Yeah, and five hours alone dedicated to
the evils of homosexuality... from him?
37
00:01:53,881 --> 00:01:56,816
Did anyone else notice that he
had an erection the entire time?
38
00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:58,335
- Of course.
- How could you miss it?
39
00:01:58,359 --> 00:01:59,587
- I mean, it was, like, shooting...
- It was right there.
40
00:01:59,622 --> 00:02:01,072
Shh, shh, shh-- here he comes.
41
00:02:01,241 --> 00:02:04,141
Okay, guys, I want to introduce
a new theme to the day.
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00:02:04,300 --> 00:02:08,102
So I'd like to infuse the religious
angle with the theme of badass.
43
00:02:08,104 --> 00:02:10,326
And I quote once
again from Genesis.
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00:02:10,366 --> 00:02:13,809
"And God said, 'Let there be a
firmament in the midst of the waters,
45
00:02:13,914 --> 00:02:16,471
and let it divide the
waters from the waters.'
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00:02:16,517 --> 00:02:18,862
And God made the firmament and
divided the waters which were
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00:02:18,873 --> 00:02:22,401
under the firmament from the waters
which were above the firmament.
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00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:24,023
And it was so."
49
00:02:24,062 --> 00:02:26,681
- There you have it.
- There we have what?
50
00:02:26,706 --> 00:02:28,644
Uh, the what...?
What are you saying?
51
00:02:28,939 --> 00:02:31,049
It's water. I'm saying "water,"
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00:02:31,073 --> 00:02:33,171
'cause it said water, like, eight times.
So, it's water.
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00:02:33,172 --> 00:02:34,696
That's what the whole thing is--
water.
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00:02:34,729 --> 00:02:37,733
- Water what?
- Water and badass, badass and water.
55
00:02:37,757 --> 00:02:38,920
- Ah.
- Yes!
56
00:02:38,941 --> 00:02:41,233
We're doing a Project Badass
video over the Schuylkill River.
57
00:02:41,257 --> 00:02:43,466
- Yes! Yes!
- Ah! - Yes!
58
00:02:43,499 --> 00:02:45,866
- Ah.
- All right! Hey!
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00:02:46,587 --> 00:02:48,073
Do you guys hear the
motorcycle?
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00:02:48,110 --> 00:02:52,548
I have another special surprise. We
will be joined by my cousin all day!
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00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:54,779
- Your cousin?
- Yeah, my cousin from the country.
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00:02:54,836 --> 00:02:57,142
I haven't seen him in, like,
forever, but, guys, trust me.
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00:02:57,161 --> 00:03:00,349
He's, like, the second biggest badass
I know, so it's gonna be awesome.
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00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:02,700
Country Mac coming
to the big city.
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00:03:06,138 --> 00:03:08,066
- Country Mac!
- Hey, City Mac!
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00:03:21,387 --> 00:03:23,790
Holy shit, there's two of them.
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00:03:26,996 --> 00:03:29,805
Okay, I think I
like this framing.
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00:03:29,823 --> 00:03:32,577
I don't even know what
it is you want us to do.
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00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:35,389
Well, I'm gonna jump from the
Strawberry Mansion Bridge.
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00:03:35,421 --> 00:03:36,496
- What?!
- Yes!
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00:03:36,521 --> 00:03:38,283
- Holy shit! - What do you mean, from it?
- To the water?
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00:03:38,321 --> 00:03:40,711
- What?! - Yeah, I'm gonna jump from
the top of the bridge to the water.
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00:03:40,725 --> 00:03:42,565
Okay, I need you to act like
concerned citizens,
74
00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:44,443
but I need this to
feel real, okay, guys?
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00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:47,749
So, I need you to be neutral about
the jumper prior to the jump,
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00:03:47,774 --> 00:03:49,854
'cause you don't know me.
You don't know this man.
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00:03:49,879 --> 00:03:52,389
But I need you to react
at the same time
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00:03:52,421 --> 00:03:55,044
because I need to draw the jump
in later to match your reaction.
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00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:57,157
You lost me there. What do
you mean, "Draw the jump?"
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00:03:57,184 --> 00:03:59,190
- You're not jumping?
- No, I'm not gonna jump.
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00:03:59,209 --> 00:04:00,428
Of course I wouldn't jump.
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00:04:00,453 --> 00:04:03,731
I draw it in later because
it's like a post effect.
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00:04:03,756 --> 00:04:05,319
Well, what's badass about that?
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00:04:05,344 --> 00:04:07,238
Your reaction is
badass, you know?
85
00:04:07,263 --> 00:04:10,502
I want you to scream, "Badass!
You know, that dude is badass!
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00:04:10,527 --> 00:04:12,840
I've never seen anything as
badass as that." You know? Oh...
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00:04:12,877 --> 00:04:15,050
But don't say my name, 'cause
you don't know this man.
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00:04:15,071 --> 00:04:17,046
That's why it feels
real, you know?
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00:04:17,071 --> 00:04:19,999
Now, later, if you want to do,
like, a Rudy-type situation
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00:04:20,005 --> 00:04:22,844
where you carry me through the streets
of Philadelphia, you know, that's cool.
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00:04:22,869 --> 00:04:24,494
- We won't.
- I can put that in the schedule.
92
00:04:24,517 --> 00:04:26,636
- It's not a post effect?
- No, that's a practical fect,
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00:04:26,661 --> 00:04:29,003
that would happen real, but
only if it's organic, you know?
94
00:04:29,015 --> 00:04:32,123
- This is a goddamn mess, this whole thing's
a goddamn mess. - I'm lost, I'm lost.
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00:04:32,153 --> 00:04:33,971
You're not gonna be badass,
but you're gonna...
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00:04:33,991 --> 00:04:36,341
This is all sounding a little bit
like a complaint from you guys.
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00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:39,012
Who's complaining?! We don't
know what's going on!
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00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:41,210
We don't know you.
99
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:44,434
Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac!
Mac! Mac! Mac!
100
00:04:44,478 --> 00:04:47,107
- Badass! Badass! Badass!
- Badass! Badass!
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00:04:47,126 --> 00:04:49,199
All right, Country Mac, let's do...
Keep it going. Keep it going.
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00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:51,072
- All right.
- Let's do this! Let's do this!
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00:04:51,569 --> 00:04:53,188
Badass. Badass.
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00:04:57,902 --> 00:05:00,461
It's pretty high, it's good. It's
excellent, it's gonna be great.
105
00:05:00,487 --> 00:05:02,718
You better jump quick before
somebody tries to stop you.
106
00:05:02,743 --> 00:05:04,762
Trust me, no one's
gonna try and stop me.
107
00:05:04,785 --> 00:05:06,133
Jump, asshole!
108
00:05:06,152 --> 00:05:09,415
Yep. See, in the big city, nobody
cares whether you live or die.
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00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:10,878
Jump, you pussy!
110
00:05:10,904 --> 00:05:12,948
All right, have a nice day.
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00:05:13,561 --> 00:05:15,843
Okay, so, I'm gonna
run to the end,
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00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:20,450
book as fast as I can to the
fence, climb up to the top, stop,
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00:05:20,475 --> 00:05:22,594
climb back down to safety. That's it.
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00:05:23,093 --> 00:05:25,436
- So, you're not gonna jump?
- I don't jump, okay?
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00:05:25,461 --> 00:05:27,292
Why does everybody think I jump?
Nobody jumps.
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00:05:27,317 --> 00:05:30,261
Evel Knievel didn't jump.
Johnny Knoxville doesn't jump.
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00:05:30,499 --> 00:05:33,593
Okay, this is big Hollywood
stuff, okay? Just stand back.
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00:05:33,630 --> 00:05:36,685
I don't want you to get hurt.
Let me handle it.
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00:05:40,365 --> 00:05:43,270
Oh, wow! Oh, there's a man
standing on the bridge.
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00:05:43,295 --> 00:05:44,653
- What?!
- Yes, he looks like...
121
00:05:44,668 --> 00:05:46,268
- Look at that.
- His name is Mac.
122
00:05:46,287 --> 00:05:47,981
- No, we don't know his name.
- We don't know it.
123
00:05:47,994 --> 00:05:49,497
- Oh.
- His name is Rudy, I believe, you guys.
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00:05:49,510 --> 00:05:50,755
That's what it was-- Rudy.
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00:05:50,775 --> 00:05:53,586
We don't know what his name is, and that's
okay, but we don't know each other.
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00:05:53,608 --> 00:05:54,986
- Hi.
- How are you?
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00:05:55,192 --> 00:05:56,724
- Nice to meet you.
- Oh, hi, hi, but it looks like
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00:05:56,732 --> 00:05:58,765
- he may commit suicide.
- Ah!
129
00:05:58,898 --> 00:06:00,361
- Oh!
- Suicide is badass.
130
00:06:00,386 --> 00:06:02,438
- Right! - No, no, no, no,
Rudy's not trying to kill himself.
131
00:06:02,455 --> 00:06:04,186
- We don't know his name.
- He just likes to jump, I guess.
132
00:06:04,211 --> 00:06:07,598
Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Mac is the
one who's the badass, remember that.
133
00:06:07,627 --> 00:06:10,718
Will you stop, stop, stop? Everybody stop.
Come on, guys. What are we doing?
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00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:12,847
- I don't know what we're doing.
- We got to get on the same page.
135
00:06:12,860 --> 00:06:15,053
- It's so unclear. He gave us, like...
- Don't know what we're doing.
136
00:06:15,076 --> 00:06:16,839
Well, whatever it is, we got
to get on the same page.
137
00:06:16,860 --> 00:06:19,430
Otherwise, we're gonna have to
do it over and over and over...
138
00:06:20,706 --> 00:06:23,313
- Did someone just go plop? - Looked like it.
- Someone just jumped. Someone jumped.
139
00:06:23,330 --> 00:06:25,518
He jumped! That's it! He jumped, guys!
He jumped!
140
00:06:25,543 --> 00:06:27,137
The day's over, the day's over.
141
00:06:27,159 --> 00:06:29,239
Country Mac is gone, he's dead.
Let's get out of here.
142
00:06:29,333 --> 00:06:31,327
- Look! Look, look, look!
- What? What? Oh.
143
00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:33,317
- Whoa!
- Oh, holy shit!
144
00:06:33,348 --> 00:06:35,848
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, wow! Wow! - Whoa!
145
00:06:35,867 --> 00:06:37,776
Well, how'd that look?
146
00:06:37,811 --> 00:06:40,047
- Oh, amazing! All right!
- How did it look?
147
00:06:40,072 --> 00:06:42,509
- How'd it look? Badass!
- It looked badass, dude.
148
00:06:42,672 --> 00:06:44,103
I cannot believe you jumped.
149
00:06:44,128 --> 00:06:46,206
- No, that's not really badass, guys.
- Whoa!
150
00:06:46,232 --> 00:06:47,480
That's dangerous.
151
00:06:47,505 --> 00:06:50,274
Um, can we put him on our shoulders
and parade him around like Rudy?
152
00:06:50,289 --> 00:06:51,924
I'm feeling that now.
I want to do that.
153
00:06:51,941 --> 00:06:53,260
- I'm feeling that now.
- Yeah, yeah...
154
00:06:53,302 --> 00:06:55,530
No, no, no, no, no, I don't think
that's gonna work anymore.
155
00:06:55,559 --> 00:06:57,665
That's not gonna fit into
our schedule, you know?
156
00:06:57,690 --> 00:07:00,703
- I mean... I mean, it was your idea...
- No, we're very full. We're very full now.
157
00:07:00,722 --> 00:07:03,347
This is not gonna play. We're
gonna move on to day four now.
158
00:07:03,374 --> 00:07:05,318
Well, wait, wait, wait, wait.
You skipped day three.
159
00:07:05,562 --> 00:07:08,967
Uh, day three is when God created
trees and grass and nature.
160
00:07:08,992 --> 00:07:11,599
You know, kind of a bullshit
day, so we're gonna move on
161
00:07:11,896 --> 00:07:15,108
to day four where God
created the stars.
162
00:07:19,014 --> 00:07:22,841
If you look at the Orion constellation
and then track across to the Big Dipper,
163
00:07:22,866 --> 00:07:25,144
you'll see a gaseous,
cloud-like area.
164
00:07:25,180 --> 00:07:28,672
Okay, I'm gonna need
you guys to go ahead
165
00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:31,442
and ignore everything that
this clown is saying.
166
00:07:31,942 --> 00:07:34,598
God created the stars
5,000 years ago.
167
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,385
Uh, who has the pillow?
I need a pillow.
168
00:07:37,516 --> 00:07:41,050
I think I thought of a way that we can
work day three into this experience.
169
00:07:41,150 --> 00:07:42,463
No, we're on day four.
170
00:07:42,488 --> 00:07:45,138
And, besides, there's no trees
or herbs in the planetarium.
171
00:07:45,163 --> 00:07:47,115
- But there's herb.
- Hmm?
172
00:07:47,190 --> 00:07:48,509
Who wants to smoke a "J"?
173
00:07:48,516 --> 00:07:52,635
- Oh, shit. You brought weed?
- No, no, no, we're not smoking weed, okay?
174
00:07:52,660 --> 00:07:54,669
It's still illegal in the
state of Pennsylvania.
175
00:07:54,694 --> 00:07:56,558
- Puff, puff, pass, bitches.
- Yeah.
176
00:07:56,586 --> 00:07:58,948
Yeah, come on, Mac, shut up.
I thought you were a badass.
177
00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:02,804
There's nothing badass about
breaking the law, Charlie.
178
00:08:03,391 --> 00:08:05,172
This is gonna make it
way more fun, dude.
179
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:08,442
This isn't about fun. It's
about fearing God, okay?
180
00:08:08,453 --> 00:08:09,953
I'm trying to convert you guys.
181
00:08:09,978 --> 00:08:13,412
Oh, my God, is that what this is about?
You're not gonna convert me in one day.
182
00:08:13,437 --> 00:08:14,612
I don't believe in God.
183
00:08:14,637 --> 00:08:16,690
Well, you should.
Because if you don't,
184
00:08:16,708 --> 00:08:19,606
God will make a flood
or a famine, okay?
185
00:08:19,631 --> 00:08:23,611
He will destroy you with tornadoes
and earthquakes and AIDS.
186
00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:27,181
Where do you think AIDS came from?
Uh, hello, God's gift to the gays.
187
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:29,174
- Oh...
- Oh, my God.
188
00:08:29,206 --> 00:08:30,968
You're gonna ruin
this high, dude.
189
00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:33,154
Mac, I think you're a
little confused there.
190
00:08:33,426 --> 00:08:36,907
I mean, yeah, sure,
bad things do happen.
191
00:08:37,196 --> 00:08:39,952
- But what about sunsets?
- Oh...
192
00:08:40,370 --> 00:08:42,288
- French kisses.
- Oh...
193
00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:44,673
- The smell of rain.
- Yeah.
194
00:08:44,693 --> 00:08:47,918
- That's why I believe in God.
- Yeah.
195
00:08:49,110 --> 00:08:51,759
Not because of the things
that he takes away from us but
196
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:54,082
because of the things that he
gives to us.
197
00:08:54,315 --> 00:08:57,286
- Oh... dude.
- Shit, dude.
198
00:08:57,317 --> 00:08:58,998
You just ripped a
hole in my mind.
199
00:08:59,019 --> 00:09:00,757
See, that's the God I-I...
I like that.
200
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:03,099
- I'm choosing that one.
- Excuse me, who's talking back there?
201
00:09:03,156 --> 00:09:05,157
Shut up, science bitch.
202
00:09:07,829 --> 00:09:10,198
- Yeah.
- Yeah, shut up, science bitch!
203
00:09:10,223 --> 00:09:12,948
- Aw, dude, dude, dude.
- Come on, man. He just said it.
204
00:09:12,975 --> 00:09:15,196
- He just said it.
- He just did it.
205
00:09:20,793 --> 00:09:23,093
Oh. What the hell?
206
00:09:26,420 --> 00:09:29,626
Carbs-wise, this is gonna set me
back, but I don't even give a shit.
207
00:09:30,648 --> 00:09:32,023
Yes.
208
00:09:32,140 --> 00:09:33,924
- Country Mac's awesome.
- Yes.
209
00:09:34,450 --> 00:09:36,431
- Yeah.
- This weed that he gave us is awesome.
210
00:09:36,456 --> 00:09:39,101
- It's... Yes.
- Yeah.
211
00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:43,266
All these years I've been
feeling like I hate karate.
212
00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:47,219
And, like, I hate Project
Badass and, like...
213
00:09:48,869 --> 00:09:50,575
- I hate God.
- Yes.
214
00:09:50,970 --> 00:09:52,433
But, like...
215
00:09:52,895 --> 00:09:54,651
I realize...
216
00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:56,920
you know what I really hate...
217
00:09:58,688 --> 00:10:00,489
- is Mac.
- Yes.
218
00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:04,145
Like, he's made all
those cool things suck.
219
00:10:04,915 --> 00:10:08,704
Not only is he, like, rui...
ning my life...
220
00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:12,244
but with all this God
shit that he's into...
221
00:10:12,438 --> 00:10:15,663
- he could be ruining my afterlife.
- Yes.
222
00:10:19,057 --> 00:10:21,512
- I thought that one was gonna...
- Let me try.
223
00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:32,268
- So...
- Yeah, I get that.
224
00:10:38,334 --> 00:10:41,163
Okay, I feel like we got a little
bit off the rails back there,
225
00:10:41,284 --> 00:10:42,422
but I'm ready to get back on.
226
00:10:42,449 --> 00:10:45,837
Dude, did you guys see the way Country
Mac was riding his motorcycle?
227
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:48,718
- Yeah. Badass, dude!
- No, it was reckless once again.
228
00:10:48,768 --> 00:10:51,071
- Come on, it was awesome!
- He was like Batman,
229
00:10:51,101 --> 00:10:52,230
just zipping through the cars.
230
00:10:52,255 --> 00:10:53,943
He beat us here by, like, an hour.
231
00:10:53,961 --> 00:10:57,125
- Oh, I want to get a motorcycle, man.
- Dude, we should all get motorcycles!
232
00:10:57,150 --> 00:10:58,642
Okay, that's enough! Okay?
233
00:10:58,661 --> 00:11:00,695
Enough about Country Mac.
It's still my day.
234
00:11:00,707 --> 00:11:01,801
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
235
00:11:01,822 --> 00:11:05,003
On the fifth day, God made fish,
so we'll just skip right past that.
236
00:11:05,023 --> 00:11:06,867
Yeah, we'll skip that. You're
skipping a lot of days, dude.
237
00:11:06,879 --> 00:11:08,953
Well, you can't fit it all into one day.
That's preposterous.
238
00:11:08,971 --> 00:11:11,764
You're the one who came up with the
structure, so... that's preposterous.
239
00:11:11,787 --> 00:11:13,506
All right, on the sixth day,
240
00:11:13,531 --> 00:11:18,206
God created the beasts of the earth
and he made man in his own image.
241
00:11:19,026 --> 00:11:23,092
And beholdeth...
the image of God.
242
00:11:26,009 --> 00:11:28,009
Oh, shit.
243
00:11:30,027 --> 00:11:32,861
Okay, everybody
grab some grease.
244
00:11:33,277 --> 00:11:35,996
- Why? - Because we're gonna
grease up these beefcakes.
245
00:11:36,021 --> 00:11:38,290
No! No! Come on! No!
246
00:11:38,324 --> 00:11:40,926
- Take it easy, Frank.
- Frank, you better take it easy!
247
00:11:41,370 --> 00:11:44,773
Listen! These guys work off their
beautiful glutes for our enjoyment, okay?
248
00:11:45,247 --> 00:11:48,792
The least we can do is pay
them back in tan and grease.
249
00:11:50,756 --> 00:11:51,855
- Greasing dudes.
- Yep.
250
00:11:51,875 --> 00:11:53,542
- That's why we're here today.
- I ain't doing this!
251
00:11:53,568 --> 00:11:54,874
About time you guys got here.
252
00:11:54,898 --> 00:11:58,341
- Hey, there you are.
- Country Mac, man. Hey, bro.
253
00:11:58,364 --> 00:11:59,995
Listen, dude, can you
get us out of here?
254
00:12:00,021 --> 00:12:01,372
Yeah, you got to get
us out of here, man.
255
00:12:01,397 --> 00:12:03,703
Get out of here?
I'm lovin' it.
256
00:12:03,726 --> 00:12:05,519
I've been gettin' phone
numbers left and right.
257
00:12:05,532 --> 00:12:07,765
Oh, sweet, there's chicks here?
258
00:12:08,092 --> 00:12:11,027
Chicks? No. Dudes.
259
00:12:11,278 --> 00:12:15,130
- I'm into dudes.
- Oh... you're gay.
260
00:12:15,228 --> 00:12:17,309
Loud and proud, brother.
Loud and proud.
261
00:12:17,343 --> 00:12:20,074
- Yeah, ain't nothing wrong with that.
- There's nothing wrong with that.
262
00:12:20,106 --> 00:12:21,820
Honestly, it's, like,
refreshing to hear.
263
00:12:21,847 --> 00:12:23,814
You know what, happy
hunting, bro, get after it.
264
00:12:23,833 --> 00:12:27,221
- Cool, cool, cool. I'll see you all
in a little bit. - Cool, yeah, yeah.
265
00:12:27,239 --> 00:12:29,620
- See, he doesn't want us to grease
them, you know? - God, that's awesome.
266
00:12:29,652 --> 00:12:31,497
- Because he wants them.
- It doe... Right.
267
00:12:31,528 --> 00:12:33,632
- He wants them for himself.
- It's so much more comfortable
268
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:35,559
when someone's gay
and open about it.
269
00:12:35,585 --> 00:12:38,440
And, like, I know we've never said
this as a group, but... Mac's gay.
270
00:12:38,456 --> 00:12:39,580
- Yeah, Mac's gay.
- He's gay.
271
00:12:39,606 --> 00:12:41,804
- He's gay.
- I mean... okay... smiles.
272
00:12:41,866 --> 00:12:44,454
Hey! Hey! What's with
all the chitchat?
273
00:12:44,485 --> 00:12:46,302
Legs and hammies are
drying up by the second.
274
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,187
We got stoned and
we're uncomfortable.
275
00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:49,706
We're trying to deal
with the whole thing.
276
00:12:49,722 --> 00:12:52,367
You guys need to start greasing some
dudes or I'm gonna freak out, all right?
277
00:12:52,390 --> 00:12:54,248
I'm gonna freak out, and
I'm gonna add another day!
278
00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:56,242
No, no, no. We'll grease,
we'll grease, we'll grease.
279
00:12:56,261 --> 00:12:58,955
- Give me the grease.
- We'll grease the dudes and...
280
00:12:58,974 --> 00:13:00,343
Okay, that's what
I like to hear.
281
00:13:00,374 --> 00:13:02,127
But don't blow your wads
on these guys, okay?
282
00:13:02,144 --> 00:13:04,722
I mean... We still have
the karate tournament.
283
00:13:04,747 --> 00:13:07,463
- We're gonna watch you fight?
- Fight? No.
284
00:13:07,485 --> 00:13:10,839
No, day seven is God's day
of rest and judgment.
285
00:13:10,864 --> 00:13:14,498
So I'm gonna sit back and watch and
judge everybody else in the tournament.
286
00:13:14,530 --> 00:13:17,536
Hey, Mac. I'm drying
up over here.
287
00:13:18,266 --> 00:13:20,266
Sorry, Big Moe.
Sorry about that.
288
00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:22,685
I'll be right there.
Get to work. Get to work.
289
00:13:22,712 --> 00:13:24,512
- Grease 'em up, come on.
- Yeah, okay.
290
00:13:24,573 --> 00:13:25,586
- All right.
- Yeah.
291
00:13:25,603 --> 00:13:27,547
- All right, bud.
- He's got the boner again.
292
00:13:27,575 --> 00:13:29,086
Yeah. Yeah.
293
00:13:29,111 --> 00:13:31,111
- Well, at least this time
it makes sense, huh? - Hmm.
294
00:13:31,359 --> 00:13:34,453
All right, listen.
I got an idea.
295
00:13:40,548 --> 00:13:43,190
- Ooh, I don't know about this.
- This doesn't feel right.
296
00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:44,913
No, this is good. This is
gonna be good for him.
297
00:13:44,938 --> 00:13:48,124
I promise. This is the only way.
Oh! Hey.
298
00:13:48,208 --> 00:13:50,808
I got you guys all
notebooks and pens.
299
00:13:50,822 --> 00:13:53,485
We're gonna start with the yellow
belts 'cause it's an inferior class.
300
00:13:53,510 --> 00:13:55,541
Actually, we've got a
surprise for you, Mac.
301
00:13:55,566 --> 00:13:58,510
- Yeah. We signed you up.
You're competing. - Huh?
302
00:13:58,537 --> 00:14:01,064
You're gonna go fight a guy.
A black belt actually.
303
00:14:01,089 --> 00:14:03,795
- You're in the tournament. - No, no,
I-I don't think that's a good idea.
304
00:14:04,064 --> 00:14:06,085
Mostly because I don't
have the right gear,
305
00:14:06,110 --> 00:14:07,379
- and I'm not...
- You're wearing a gi.
306
00:14:07,397 --> 00:14:08,918
- You are wearing a gi.
- Yeah, that is the gear.
307
00:14:08,937 --> 00:14:11,050
- That's the only gear. - I notice
you're also wearing a black belt.
308
00:14:11,070 --> 00:14:15,126
- Now, you are a black belt, correct?
- Um, not technicaly.
309
00:14:15,183 --> 00:14:19,447
Um, only because I haven't
subscribed to one... discipline.
310
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:21,556
But you are good enough to fight
in a black belt tournament.
311
00:14:21,557 --> 00:14:23,100
- 'Cause you're wearing a black belt.
- Of course.
312
00:14:23,134 --> 00:14:25,197
Shit, Mac, you can do it. Just
go right for the guy's throat.
313
00:14:25,214 --> 00:14:26,069
I know I can do it.
314
00:14:26,091 --> 00:14:28,885
That's not the... I feel like you're
talking a lot throughout the day.
315
00:14:29,098 --> 00:14:32,111
- I know I can do it.
- So if you can do it, then do it.
316
00:14:32,144 --> 00:14:33,739
I'll sign up if Mac
doesn't want to.
317
00:14:33,767 --> 00:14:36,573
I'm gonna do it. I said I was...
I was never not gonna do it.
318
00:14:36,598 --> 00:14:37,661
- I'm excited.
- Yeah.
319
00:14:37,682 --> 00:14:42,250
I-I'm really excited to see this, man.
You are gonna kick that guy's ass,
320
00:14:42,275 --> 00:14:43,604
whoever he is.
321
00:14:56,893 --> 00:14:58,395
- This is cruel.
- Oof.
322
00:14:58,412 --> 00:15:00,905
- I can't watch it, you know?
- Trust me, this is for his own good.
323
00:15:00,925 --> 00:15:02,671
If he doesn't face this
now, he never will.
324
00:15:02,696 --> 00:15:05,027
Yeah, it's too bad, but he's
got to get his ass kicked.
325
00:15:05,052 --> 00:15:07,533
Yep. It's time for this to end.
326
00:15:08,245 --> 00:15:09,142
Hi.
327
00:15:09,183 --> 00:15:11,368
Okay, now bow.
328
00:15:12,330 --> 00:15:14,002
Not to me, Karate Kid, to him.
329
00:15:14,025 --> 00:15:15,222
Oh.
330
00:15:15,851 --> 00:15:17,878
- Bow.
- Bow.
331
00:15:18,865 --> 00:15:20,968
Ready. Fight!
332
00:15:25,088 --> 00:15:26,611
Block, point, Mac!
333
00:15:26,674 --> 00:15:28,478
- Shit.
- Guys, did you see that?
334
00:15:28,491 --> 00:15:30,666
I got a point! I got a point!
335
00:15:31,927 --> 00:15:34,770
- Oh!
- Hell, no.
336
00:15:43,421 --> 00:15:45,074
Oh!
337
00:16:02,064 --> 00:16:03,051
That was badass!
338
00:16:03,071 --> 00:16:04,315
He kicked the shit
out of that guy!
339
00:16:04,345 --> 00:16:07,470
- Well, I got the actual point.
- Who cares? You lost.
340
00:16:07,473 --> 00:16:10,660
- Country Mac won.
- Yeah, but it's about the art, okay?
341
00:16:10,685 --> 00:16:12,023
Oh, the art.
342
00:16:12,141 --> 00:16:14,460
You got your ass kicked--
that's what happened.
343
00:16:14,711 --> 00:16:17,433
I scored an actual point in an
actual karate tournament and
344
00:16:17,451 --> 00:16:18,914
against an actual black belt.
345
00:16:18,939 --> 00:16:22,283
Country Mac beat the shit out of that
guy with a beer and his T-shirt.
346
00:16:22,308 --> 00:16:24,622
Yeah, and where is he always
getting those beers, man?
347
00:16:24,646 --> 00:16:27,199
- That's the most badass thing I've ever
seen. - Out of the blue, he gets a beer.
348
00:16:27,224 --> 00:16:29,033
No, it's years of training
finally paying off,
349
00:16:29,049 --> 00:16:31,599
and an uncontested black belt
point is the most badass...
350
00:16:31,635 --> 00:16:33,566
Oh, my God, we're never gonna
hear the end of this.
351
00:16:33,598 --> 00:16:35,127
Stop, stop!
Hold on a second, Mac.
352
00:16:35,148 --> 00:16:38,648
No, no. Listen, you got your ass
kicked today-- that's what happened,
353
00:16:38,670 --> 00:16:40,276
plain and simple. So I
want you to admit it.
354
00:16:40,297 --> 00:16:41,472
Dennis, don't.
The day's almost over.
355
00:16:41,485 --> 00:16:43,741
- We only have a couple of hours.
- No, n-n-n-no, Dee, we have a lifetime
356
00:16:43,772 --> 00:16:45,998
of this to look forward to,
and I for one can't stand it.
357
00:16:46,016 --> 00:16:47,627
You are not a badass, pal.
358
00:16:47,645 --> 00:16:49,875
- Admit it to us right now.
- Get on your knees!
359
00:16:49,899 --> 00:16:52,215
- You are not a badass!
- Oh, my God!
360
00:16:52,257 --> 00:16:54,224
Hey, what's wrong with you, guy?
361
00:16:54,426 --> 00:16:57,240
- You got a problem?
- You got the problem, asshole.
362
00:16:57,261 --> 00:16:59,299
Look out!
363
00:16:59,336 --> 00:17:00,565
Shit.
364
00:17:00,615 --> 00:17:04,272
You bring a knife to a fight, you
better be ready to use it, you jabroni.
365
00:17:04,964 --> 00:17:07,450
Just... don't come
back here, you punks.
366
00:17:08,664 --> 00:17:10,549
Aw, you made him
look like a bitch!
367
00:17:10,588 --> 00:17:12,488
- Holy shit.
- Nice... very nice.
368
00:17:12,526 --> 00:17:13,926
Oh, you are badass, dude.
369
00:17:13,951 --> 00:17:16,901
- How'd you know he had a knife on him?
- I gave him an ocular patdown.
370
00:17:17,051 --> 00:17:19,845
Assessed the threat level.
Clocked a knife in his boot.
371
00:17:19,869 --> 00:17:23,312
Huh! Holy shit.
372
00:17:23,993 --> 00:17:27,096
Guys, I may have had a little
bit of an accident in my pants,
373
00:17:27,116 --> 00:17:28,591
so I think I got to
change out of this gi.
374
00:17:28,617 --> 00:17:31,114
He just gave that guy an ocular
patdown, and it actually worked.
375
00:17:31,132 --> 00:17:31,839
It worked.
376
00:17:31,849 --> 00:17:34,712
He made a lucky guess, and
he put us all in danger.
377
00:17:34,727 --> 00:17:36,521
You made a poopy in your pants!
378
00:17:36,554 --> 00:17:38,254
Did anybody else do a
poopoo in their pants?
379
00:17:38,272 --> 00:17:40,178
- No. - Of course not.
- This is our head of security!
380
00:17:40,214 --> 00:17:41,814
I don't need to
listen to this, okay?
381
00:17:41,839 --> 00:17:44,770
I'm gonna change out of this gi and then
we're gonna keep going with the day, okay?
382
00:17:44,789 --> 00:17:48,120
I have a series of lectures
that we're gonna get to.
383
00:17:48,305 --> 00:17:50,453
- Go get the poop out of your pants.
- I can't wait for the lectures.
384
00:17:50,490 --> 00:17:51,346
Goddamn, man.
385
00:17:51,659 --> 00:17:55,419
The guy is in complete denial about
absolutely every aspect of his life.
386
00:17:55,580 --> 00:17:57,430
And there is nothing
we can do about it.
387
00:17:57,457 --> 00:17:59,359
- I say we switch him out.
- Huh?
388
00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:01,692
Country Mac for Paddy's Mac.
389
00:18:01,717 --> 00:18:05,073
- We send Mac to the country, bring
Country Mac here. - Yeah, to the bar.
390
00:18:05,095 --> 00:18:08,597
That's not a bad idea. I mean, look, we'd
be safer with an actual badass in the bar.
391
00:18:08,623 --> 00:18:11,076
We might actually become a little
bit more badass ourselves.
392
00:18:11,096 --> 00:18:13,062
We would become more like
Country Mac, which'd be great.
393
00:18:13,088 --> 00:18:15,182
We have a lot to learn from him.
We should all get motorcycles.
394
00:18:15,207 --> 00:18:17,812
- And drink much more beer.
- And smoke more weed, you guys.
395
00:18:17,844 --> 00:18:19,359
And get in fights and do all
those things.
396
00:18:19,384 --> 00:18:21,709
- Can we make this happen before he
comes back out...? - Let's talk to him.
397
00:18:21,728 --> 00:18:24,342
Hey, um... hey, Country Mac, can we just
talk to you for one quick second, buddy?
398
00:18:24,355 --> 00:18:26,953
Um, listen, we were
just talking and, man,
399
00:18:27,270 --> 00:18:28,748
we sure would like for you to stay with us.
400
00:18:28,766 --> 00:18:30,973
I mean, like-like, stay with us
forever.
401
00:18:30,998 --> 00:18:33,676
- Will you be part of our gang?
- Yep.
402
00:18:34,559 --> 00:18:37,397
Uh... just "yep"?
Just, like... That's it?
403
00:18:37,418 --> 00:18:39,681
You're not gonna give a speech or
lecture us or anything like that?
404
00:18:39,706 --> 00:18:42,218
- No bossiness?
- No pontificating?
405
00:18:42,238 --> 00:18:43,797
It's not my style.
406
00:18:44,735 --> 00:18:46,573
I just go with the flow.
407
00:18:46,929 --> 00:18:49,687
- Let the wind blow through my hair.
- Yeah.
408
00:18:51,010 --> 00:18:52,087
Oh.
409
00:18:52,112 --> 00:18:54,668
- Oh, wow.
- I love that guy.
410
00:18:54,688 --> 00:18:56,787
Aw, look at him go.
411
00:18:57,437 --> 00:18:58,657
Where's he even going?
412
00:18:58,682 --> 00:19:02,512
I mean, the fact that we don't know where
he's going makes him all the more badass.
413
00:19:03,884 --> 00:19:05,315
- Uh-oh. Whoops.
- Whoopsie.
414
00:19:05,340 --> 00:19:06,965
- He fell, huh?
- Tipped over a little bit.
415
00:19:07,004 --> 00:19:08,316
Ooh.
416
00:19:08,417 --> 00:19:10,876
- He's probably okay, though, right?
- Well, yeah, he just... popped over.
417
00:19:10,901 --> 00:19:13,882
A little-little bump. He's fine. He's
good, he's good, he's good, he's good.
418
00:19:19,100 --> 00:19:22,172
Country Mac lived
a reckless life.
419
00:19:23,184 --> 00:19:28,665
He wasn't the kind of guy that could score
a point in a black belt karate contest.
420
00:19:30,458 --> 00:19:32,949
And it turns out, he
was totally queer.
421
00:19:33,144 --> 00:19:35,933
Which, as we all know, is a sin.
422
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,707
And that, coupled with his
radical religious beliefs,
423
00:19:39,058 --> 00:19:42,525
has most likely
landed him in Hell,
424
00:19:42,893 --> 00:19:45,482
where he will burn
for all eternity.
425
00:19:46,002 --> 00:19:48,577
So I will ask for a
moment of silence,
426
00:19:48,602 --> 00:19:53,219
in which I will beg God's
forgiveness for Country Mac's evil,
427
00:19:54,244 --> 00:19:59,136
homo ways, while simultaneously
doing a series of karate moves
428
00:19:59,193 --> 00:20:03,204
that I know Country Mac
would've enjoyed so much.
429
00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:09,406
Well, guys, I think the
real lesson here is that
430
00:20:09,422 --> 00:20:12,928
- there's nothing badass about riding a
motorcycle without a helmet. - Right.
431
00:20:13,005 --> 00:20:14,697
Plus, he was drunk all the time.
432
00:20:14,727 --> 00:20:16,283
- Yeah.
- You know what's badass?
433
00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:17,778
- Being alive.
- Yeah.
434
00:20:17,796 --> 00:20:20,473
So, uh, what do we
do about this guy?
435
00:20:25,786 --> 00:20:27,908
Namaste. Namaste.
436
00:20:27,983 --> 00:20:29,887
Okay, we will now
pile into the car,
437
00:20:30,243 --> 00:20:33,600
where we will go to the countryside
to leave Country Mac's ashes
438
00:20:33,656 --> 00:20:35,203
in a place that
he loved so well.
439
00:20:35,228 --> 00:20:36,791
Actually, we won't.
440
00:20:36,816 --> 00:20:41,048
Because it's officially
Frank Day, so...
441
00:20:44,801 --> 00:20:47,410
All right, Pee Country Mac.
442
00:20:47,929 --> 00:20:57,929
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
38008
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