Original subtitles

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Maximus, you old dog.

We finally meet in the ring!

Today, we fight for our freedom.

You'll never defeat me, Lucius.

(both grunting)

(laughing)

(grunting)

Come on, you can do better than that.

(both grunting)

(screaming)

(groaning)

Well fought, Lucius.

But I have something to tell you.

I am... your father.

Father? What have I done?!

(Screaming) No!

?

(Sobbing)

Francesca: Are you two finished?

Yeah, that's it for today.

Maybe next Saturday, instead of coming here again,

we have brunch? Hm?

(Both laughing)

Oh, that's a good one, honey. (sighing)

Bambini, venite.

(Children laughing, chatting)

? La mia nuova vita ?

? My new life ?

? I just can't wait to meet ya ?

? (My new life) ?

? La mia nuova vita ?

? My new life ?

? Take me with ya ?

? (Take me with ya) ?

? A little scared, but more excited ?

? And I just can't wait to find out ?

? Who I am and who I get to be ?

? It's really nice to meet ya ?

? La mia nuova vita ?

Oh, I see it! The blue one!

Yeah, kind of to your left.

No, the tealier one.

(sighing) Why does this have to be so hard?

I told you, a thousand pieces is too much.

Not the puzzle, this whole long-distance thing.

I wish you were here.

We all wish I was there. I'm amazing.

At least you've doubled your Italian friends

now that you're on Charlotte's good side.

Yeah, but she and Nico hate each other,

which makes it impossible to be friends with them both at once.

- It can't be that bad. - Oh, it is.

I was in a gelateria with Charlotte when Nico came in.

Not only did she make us leave,

she made me throw out my gelato. Said it was tainted.

Ooh, what flavor?

Tiramisu, but not the point.

I have two friends who can't be in the same room.

I just don't know how to solve it.

Did somebody say "solve it"?

(groaning)

(chuckling) William, you king.

I've been trying to get Lucy to do that for, like, an hour.

Ah, what can I say? Archeology is mostly puzzles.

Puzzles and dusting.

And thinking and imagining

and dreaming and caring and...

Sorry, what were we talking about?

What were you talking about?

He's in the middle of a new dig site honeymoon phase.

An intact ancient Roman teenager's room.

The mud slide was bad news for the Aurelius family,

but it was a boon to the Italian archeological community.

Boons are cool-

Yes.

-but right now can we focus on modern Roman teens?

Like, you know, a certain pair of enemies I'm friends with?

How do you and Francesca resolve it when you fight?

William: That's easy, we don't fight.

No conflict. We are a team.

Pure good vibes.

What are Charlotte and Nico so mad about anyway?

Nobody will even tell me.

They just call it "the incident."

Well, a good way to start a puzzle is to get

all the right pieces together so you can see it clearly.

Yes! I just have to get Nico and Charlotte together.

You're a genius.

No, I meant, like, putting all the blue pieces toge-

You know what?

I am a genius. Thank you.

Can I show them your new dig site?

Um...

Sure.

Yes.

?

Oh, ciao! Thanks for coming!

No, thank you!

Did this room really belong to the Emperor Marcus Aurelius?

His daughter, but same difference, right?

He probably wrote Meditations here.

Oh, that's the ancient Roman self-help book

with the really ominous quotes, right?

Mm, they are not ominous.

They are profound, like...

"Death smiles at us all,

all a man can do is smile back."

Cool.

Well, I'm glad you're excited,

um, because believe it or not,

and you better believe it because she's here, um,

I invited-

What's he doing here?

It doesn't even matter.

Thanks for the invite,

but his energy makes me break out.

Wait, I know you'll love this!

Seeing how an ancient Roman princess lived?

Think of the content.

We'll be some of the first people in the world

to ever see her room.

You can be nice to each other long enough

to look around inside, right?

Obviously I can be nice.

I'm lovely.

Mm, and I wish the best to everyone,

because negativity is bad for your soul.

Wow, you're so enlightened. Tell me more.

Okay! We're doing great so far.

Now, let's go experience the magic of history!

?

? Two, three, four ?

? The tingle in my fingers ?

? Flutter in my heart ?

? Now that I can feel it, it's my new favorite part ?

? Breathe into the moment ?

? Learning to break through ?

Is this really Lucy? This is amazing!

That's what everyone I've sent it to has said.

I think she'll get signed.

? Dance through the city streets ?

Oh, no.

? Come find your beat, ayo ?

It's happening again.

What?

? There must be something... ?

The shimmies!

? Play it on repeat, come find your beat ?

? Oh, yeah ?

? Oh-oh oh-oh-oh-oh oh Oh-oh oh-oh-oh-oh oh ?

? Oh-oh oh-oh-oh-oh oh Oh-oh-oh-oh ?

- (gasping) - (barking)

- (shutting off music) - No!

We have to glue this back together again.

We have to glue this pasta?

No, this is the Best Cat trophy that Luce and Kyla made

for Colonel Catfield when they were eight.

You know how important everything

in that sentence is to Lucy.

Oh, uh-

- (crunching) - Oh!

Oh, this is it. She'll never forgive me.

She's going to file for emancipation.

You know how smart she is!

She'll go through the paperwork in a cinch!

William, you are spiraling. Breathe.

(breathing)

We can fix this together. We are a team.

- (growling, barking) - I know, Salsacino.

We already broke all the noodles.

We will rebuild it.

No shortage of pasta around here.

Okay.

?

This was Annia Aurelia Galeria Lucilla's bedroom.

She was an ancient princess and Marcus Aurelius' daughter.

(door clanging)

Isn't that neat to both of you?

Discuss.

You look first. I insist.

Oh, no, no, no, no. I insist.

Look at you. Such a gentleman.

As a reward, you should look first.

Did you know that Lucilla was assassinated by her brother

Commodus because she tried to assassinate him first?

(chuckling) Talk about an argument

getting out of hand, huh, guys?

(pronouncing names with French accent) Lucilla probably had

very good reasons for trying to assassinate Commodus.

(pronouncing names with Italian accent) Actually, it sounds

like Lucilla turned on Commodus for no reason at all.

Ugh! I don't get it!

You used to be friends!

So what the heck was this incident?!

Charlotte did something I cannot not forgive!

Can someone just tell me what happened?

No! I'm not playing he-says-she-says with Nico.

Thanks for the invite, Lucy,

but I've seen enough dirt for one day.

You were right. This was a bad idea.

See, Nico? At least Lucy can admit when she's-

(rattling)

The door is stuck.

(rattling)

It- It must have locked automatically.

What does that mean?

(rattling)

It means... we're trapped!

- Help! - Help!

Can I start by saying it's weird you're calling me without Lucy?

Uh, no time, Kyla.

We need photos of the pasta prize.

Translate that for me, Sir Will.

The Best Cat trophy that you and Luce made when you were kids.

Could you send us a picture of that?

One of our most inspired creations.

Though I think that gold paint was later

recalled for lead content.

It was.

Anyway, sure. Uh...

Almost there.

Ah, here we go. Sent.

Uh, you're a life saver.

Also, please don't tell Luce about this, okay?

Oh, some secret parent-bestie collusion, huh?

Love that for you weirdos. Peace.

And reference image acquired.

- Go team! - (high fiving)

Let's start by painting the pasta.

Paint it first?

No, I think we should glue it all together first.

We want it to look like the original, si?

Si.

I think they painted it first.

Yeah, then the paint will be all messy.

Uh, they were eight. Kids are messy.

I think you are wrong.

And I think you are wrong.

Hm, we find ourselves at an impasse.

I propose this.

How about we each make our own version,

and see which one is better?

A competition?

Hm.

Wonderful.

I look forward to crushing you.

?

There's no reception!

How are we going to call for help?

My followers won't even know I'm gone!

I prescheduled my posts for the next week.

Why do I have to be so good at social media?

"Welcome every experience

the looms of fate may weave for you."

Marcus Aurelius, right?

Guy sure is old.

Speaking of history, I remember my dad saying

there's an extra key somewhere down here.

What? Why wouldn't you say anything before? Where?

Well, this key is only meant for true archeologists to find.

They did this weird thing

and hid it behind a series of riddles.

I guess we'll all have to work together

to figure it out or something.

That's ridiculous.

Oh, that is great news.

All we need to do is find our first clue,

and we'll be out of here in no time.

Oh, do you think this is a clue?

Um...

Maybe this!

Oh. This must be a clue.

They didn't have candy wrappers in ancient Rome.

I think that's a clue Dad's students are slobs.

They really shouldn't leave this stuff lying around.

It'll attract bugs.

(screaming)

What?!

I just saw a cockroach.

I can't believe we're trapped in here with roaches.

Too soon, Charlotte.

Too soon for what?

You should know who you are trapped with.

It has gone too far, Charlotte!

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Really?

Oh, okay.

I'm just using my platform to keep

the public safe and informed.

You made it up!

My mother's restaurant does not have pests!

That's for the health inspector to decide.

Boop.

There are still rumors we have roaches.

Ah, the incident was worse than I thought.

That wasn't "the incident."

Just a reasonable response to his actions.

I had just gotten a new make-up haul,

and I was so excited to show Arlo.

Ari, you won't believe what this new brand sent me.

This new lip oil is seriously-

(both screaming)

(laughing)

Oh.

So, that was the incident then.

No, she's leaving out important context.

You sound like my divorced uncle.

Okay, but isn't it nice to have it out there?

Let bygones be bygones

and go back to searching for clues?

Check out this box! (gasping)

What could these symbols mean? A clue perhaps-

The spiders were fake. You are being overdramatic.

Are you denying my truth right now?

Big divorced uncle energy.

A picture of Lucilla with a code on the back?

My mom's restaurant is her whole life.

She got shut down for one day.

I have to use see-through make-up bags forever

because I have trust issues.

Look! Look at these tools! They all have-

Both: Not now, Lucy!

Please!

Let's just go.

We are stuck in here.

Well, I kind of sort of maybe set this up as an escape room

so you'd be friends again.

Both: What?!

What is an escape room?

Escape rooms are really neat.

They're huge in America. People love them.

The idea is you solve a bunch of puzzles

and work together towards a common goal.

I spent all day setting this up so that we'd have fun

and resolve your fight,

but clearly you guys can't resolve your fight or have fun.

(groaning)

Um...

I can't find the key.

What?

Lucy: It was supposed to be in this box!

It's not here!

I don't know what is real anymore.

How could I misplace the only key?

It's okay, I'll call my dad.

Except I don't have a signal. Oh, no. We're trapped!

And if we're trapped then this is real, and oh, my gosh.

If this is real, then we might run out of oxygen.

And if we're going to run out, I should stop talking...

What are you doing with your face?

(Lucy speaking indistinctly)

"Death smiles at us all,

all a man can do is smile back."

?

Mine's closer.

Non c'� modo. It looks nothing like it.

Well, the paint on yours is all wrong.

Yours looks like a lizard.

- He is a very lizard-like cat. - (door opening)

(scoffing) I knew we would never agree.

So...

Sorry, sorry I'm late.

My rabbit is sick.

You don't have a rabbit.

What are you hiding?

Were you on a date or something?

What? No. Of course not.

Although, my rabbit doctor is very handsome.

Shall we start?

Start what?

I thought we'd settle this the same way I built my career.

With a panel of three very special guest judges.

Vieni, William.

William: Okay.

Oh, wow.

The lengths you will go to win are...

appropriate for the situation.

Dun-dun-dun! Who will be victorious?

The beloved pop star sensation...

or this random American man?

Uh, first of all, this is ridiculous.

Second of all, one of these judges is biased!

Emilia's going to vote for you no matter what.

Brutal accusation! Response?

Thank you.

"Shocking and hurtful"

are the very first two words that come to my mind.

I came here with nothing but an open mind

and an open heart, and I will only choose

the objectively superior artwork.

You're right. That was unfair.

Emilia, what is your vote?

Francesca.

Figures.

Signora Benotti?

Is this my homemade pasta?

Did you use the pasta I made

with my blood and sweat and tears,

meant to feed your family

for this silly competition?!

Oh! Incredibile. Incredibile!

(muttering in Italian)

It's all down to one judge.

Who will triumph from this once formidable team,

torn apart by the vicious world

of pasta art competition.

Well, I wouldn't say "torn apart."

I mean, we're still a great team, right?

(chuckling) The American has become

delusional from the stress.

He's locked in battle with his wife

and still thinks they are a team?

Only the great judge Bruno can free them

as they spiral ever downwards.

But whom will Bruno decide?

Gentle, unassuming William,

with his horrible pasta monster?

(chuckling)

Or the vibrant, exciting Francesca

and her horrible pasta monster?

I'm vibrant.

?

I set the padlock code here,

and I wrote on the tools over there.

I can't believe we're going to starve in a dead princess' room

because of you.

Me?! You caused the incident!

Either just help me look for the key or just be quiet!

It's that simple!

But he always paints me as the villain.

But she never took any responsibility.

(groaning)

I don't care!

Just let me think!

She put up missing child posters with my face that said,

"Have you seen this boy?"

And then, "Gross, sorry you had to."

Only because he filled my red patent pumps

with his mum's pasta sauce!

She made sit on a cup of budino cioccolato,

which made it look like I-

You started it by calling me gross first.

(sighing)

Charlotte, you are gross.

Hey, I never said that!

Charlotte: Not literally, but you basically did.

Charlotte, you have terrible breath.

I didn't say that, either.

Charlotte: Yeah, not with your words.

Mint?

And that's the incident, then?

This is all over a breath mint?!

Well when you say it like that it sounds silly.

It's ridiculous!

Okay, but this was also ridiculous.

What was she thinking?

"Hi, I'm Lucy, I locked my friends

in a world heritage site for fun!"

Okay. Very funny.

"I'm Lucy. Oh, hi, Kika.

"Ooh, Salsacino. I dropped our only key

because I'm so clumsy. Oh!"

I found it!

Well, that didn't sound so much like her.

Yeah.

No, no, no. Look at that.

(squealing)

All: Yes!

(all laughing)

Oh, my gosh. (squealing)

Wow. I really must have dropped it there, huh?

See? You guys make a great team.

I know I act like I don't care,

but I'm sad we let things get so bad.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, too. I've missed you.

So, does this mean my escape room plan was good actually?

Both: No.

(sighing) Fine.

Yeah.

It was smart.

(whispers) I know.

So, should we start over?

Wipe the incident from the record?

Pop Gladiators is on tonight.

You wanna watch it together like we used to?

Yes!

I can show you my new kindness meditation.

I'm already regretting this. (chuckling)

Ready?

Oh, let's get out of here.

Finally.

- Thank you. - Mm-hm.

My work here is done.

?

Lucy will be home soon. We have to choose.

Yeah, but how?

We both think ours is better, and Bruno still hasn't

made his decision.

Just admit defeat.

Never.

Wait, this isn't actually about which one is better.

It's about Lucy, remember?

We may have gotten a little carried away

with this competition.

We should just tell Lucy the truth.

She's a mature kid. She'll understand.

You are right.

I guess you should know

I can get a little competitive sometimes.

No, I wouldn't say that.

I love that about you. You're fierce.

I also, perhaps, got carried away.

Maybe something for us to keep in check.

We make better teammates than rivals.

I agree.

Look at us. Learning and growing.

(door opening)

Hey, I'm home...

Is everything okay?

Um...

We broke your Colonel Catfield trophy, Luce,

and I'm very sorry.

(screaming, sobbing)

What?!

How could you do this to me!?

(screaming)

- I'm so sorry. - Scusa.

(sobbing-screaming)

Gotcha!

Kyla told me all about your little weird phone call.

So, I just assumed, you know, that you broke it somehow.

It's fine. I have lots of pictures.

So... you're good?

Mm-hm.

(sighing)

But if we were to fake it.

Which one would fool you?

(laughing) I have to go get ready.

Learning, growing, foolish lies.

These two bitter enemies will never make amends

until judge Bruno makes his ultimate decision.

Who will be the winner?

Tune in next time for the thrilling conclusion.

How do you keep getting in here?

Operation Friend Puzzle was a success!

Nico and Charlotte are talking again!

I asked Janet not to pick me up from school today

so I have the annoyingly long walk home

to hear every last detail. Lay it on me.

Can't.

What? Seriously?

Meeting up with Charlotte and Nico for a pizza al taglio.

I can't be late and give them time to have another incident.

Right.

The whole point of the plan.

To hang out with them more.

Love you, Ky. We'll talk... sometime.

Bye! (kissing)

Yeah, love you t-

Jimmy! Jimmerson.

James!

What's happening right now.

My question exactly. What are you up to?

Aren't you usually on the phone with Lucy for,

like, the next four hours?

Actually, Jimbo.

As a woman with very fun and exciting interests

and friends, sometimes I'm not.

Okay.

So, wanna do something?

Like what? Go to Zumba with your step-mom?

(groaning)

I was thinking more like you got any fireworks?

I got a guy.

Really? Hm.

Shall we pay him a visit and see where the spirit

takes us from there?

Seriously? Aren't fireworks a bit dangerous

for the likes of you and Saint Lucy?

Lucy's gone and I can handle it.

Let's go to his office.

It may look like a strip mall parking lot,

and that's because it absolutely is.

(chuckling)

(sighing)

Wait up!

Hm. Where is this place, exactly?

Jimmy: You'll see.

(Kyla speaking indistinctly)

You have to go across the block and take a left...

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