Original subtitles

♪

I can't believe this place really exists.

Ah, yes. The Porticus of Octavia.

It was built sometime after 27 BC.

And it had not one, but two libraries.

One Latin and one Greek.

Inside, a wealth of art, including 24 enormous bronze

equestrian statues celebrating famous battles.

Okay, the history is cool, but I mean the cats!

(meowing)

Will: There are also cats.

Lucy: Ancient ruins full of cats?

This place is my kitty dream.

And my allergy nightmare.

(laughing)

(speaking Italian)

(sneezing)

Will: It's so great to see her happy, though, huh?

I mean, she's been so homesick these days,

and she misses her own cat so much.

Don't you have a lecture this afternoon?

Oh, shoot.

Lucy, come on. We gotta go.

Can I just say a few goodbyes first?

Alright.

(chuckling)

A special goodbye just for you.

(meowing)

Keep defying gravity, Sir Isaac Mewton.

You are a gift to me, Santa Claws.

You run the world, Fleaonce.

Let's wrap it up, buttercup.

- (meowing) - Just a couple more?

It was the best of times, Charles Lickens.

You vaulted into my heart, Simeown Byles.

It's time for me to hit the old town road, Lil Paws X.

Uh, you know how I feel about being late.

And you know how I feel about cats.

Farewell, Winston Purrchill.

O-Paw Winflea. Olivia Pawdrigo.

Cleocatra.

Zenday...

...cat?

Eh, we'll workshop that one.

I'll never let go, Leonardo Dicatrio.

(purring)

♪ La mia nuova vita ♪

♪ My new life ♪

♪ I just can't wait to meet ya ♪

♪ (My new life) ♪

♪ La mia nuova vita ♪

♪ My new life ♪

♪ Take me with ya ♪

♪ (Take me with ya) ♪

♪ A little scared, but more excited ♪

♪ And I just can't wait to find out ♪

♪ Who I am and who I get to be ♪

♪ It's really nice to meet ya ♪

♪ La mia nuova vita ♪

Kyla: And now Kim's mad that Alistair didn't decorate

her locker for her birthday.

In the band hallway? How did it smell?

You're in Rome and you want to know how to band hallway smells?

How did it smell, Kyla?

Gross, Lucy. It smelled gross.

I miss it all so much.

Well, when you're done whatever mind control ray

you're working on, please spare me.

I like my brain.

Lucy: This is my science class project.

A replica of NASA's huge new telescope's

mirrors and sunshield.

Mm, every girl's dream.

School's been different here so far.

So, I really wanted to go for it with this.

I, on the other hand, will not be going for it.

Guess who I got stuck with as a lab partner. Jimmy.

Jimmy who kept snails in his desk in third grade, Jimmy?

- Yes. Ugh. - Oh, my gosh.

I even miss Jimmy.

I'd give anything to be back home.

In my treehouse with you. Remember that time my mom

brought our telescope up and we spent hours looking at

Jupiter's moons?

That was such a great treehouse.

What do you mean "was"?

The losers who bought your house tore it down to put in

an organic vegetable garden.

Who needs that much kale?

I didn't tell you.

I tried to get it designated as a heritage site,

but the city councilor told me to "stop calling her at home."

Ah!

What is wrong with me?

Rome! I'm supposed to love it here,

but I just can't get settled.

Lucy, take some deep breaths.

- (inhaling) - You'll get there.

(exhaling) You're right.

When I slam dunk this presentation and get an A,

this place will feel more like home.

That's the spirit. Love you.

The sun shield helps us observe faint infrared objects

while it's in the direct heat of the sun.

NASA's new telescope has already changed

our understanding of the universe.

What else will it reveal?

Teacher: Well, that was a very strong first presentation.

Thank you, Lucy. Very good.

But, like, how good, exactly?

Quite good.

93, 94%?

Thank you.

Arlo, you're next.

Very good? What does that even mean?

Is your English starting to fade?

Now, but back home we get grades and it's like a competition

to see who can get the highest. Very dog eat dog.

In Italy our saying is "dog helps dog."

But I'm good at this.

Science, especially astronomy.

Shouldn't that be acknowledged in some way?

I acknowledge that we all learned something.

DNA code letters aren't DNA, which makes no sense.

They're actually A, T, G, and C.

And I have no idea what they mean. Thank you.

Teacher: Thank you, Arlo.

Very good.

But where's the actual project?

I know.

I cannot believe you did so much work.

(groaning)

So, the jet is ready, but Billie Eilish's team

did misplace some tarantulas on board.

So, first they must remove the spiders.

Ancora? Classic Billie.

Did you know she introduced me to Beyonce?

Yes, because you bring it up whenever possible,

and I love it.

(chuckling) We've been pen pals ever since.

Bey's handwriting is immaculate.

(both sighing)

Are you kidding me?

(gasping) Were you hiding in there the whole time?

I'm not hiding. I'm just being sad.

I can't believe your life.

Private jet, recording studio, Beyonce's perfect handwriting.

She dots her I's with hearts.

I'm sorry. I'm just not having the best day.

I understand.

One time I felt upset, so I went for a jog.

It helps to do something you love.

Ooh, also, on that jog I was discovered by a talent scout

and ended up doing some modelling for a year.

Catalogue, but still.

That's not as helpful as you think.

Lucy, you can't mope on the couch forever.

I mean, where would that get you?

The couch.

Oh, yeah? I have enough snacks in this cocoon

to sustain me for at least a week.

Suit yourself.

Okay, what's next?

Let me check.

So, tomorrow at noon you have lunch with a producer.

Fine!

♪

(gasping) My gel pens!

Ugh, I'm sorry Colonel Catfield.

Your brain is the size of a walnut.

Hm.

Yeah, I miss Lucy, too.

But at least gave you to me so we could have each other.

(beeping)

♪ My name is Janet and I'm here to say ♪

♪ Steez Cubes stop food decay ♪

♪ No BPA for you or me-y ♪

♪ Meal planning is the coolest place to be-yyy ♪

Steez Cube. (beeping)

What do you think?

That I need to focus on my project.

Come on, it's for the business.

Food storage for teens and tweens

called Steez Cubes.

Ballin', right?

That's why I'm running a vibe check to see if my rap lives

rent free in your head.

Am I saying any of that right?

No.

See, this is why I need your insight.

Sorry, but I just can't do this right now, Janet.

I'm in the middle of a gel pen apocalypse.

I get it. Yeah.

Step-mom, step-daughter bonding time is not the wave now.

Maybe one day.

(groaning)

(grunting)

Hello there, gorgeous.

Photographer: Yes, more. More. Oh, yeah. That's it, girl.

Let's do touch-ups and we'll go again.

So, Yass Yellow or Bougie Blue?

Yes.

Perfect for the September issue.

And Ed Sheeran loved your Steez Cubes jingle,

and he wants to collab. What do I tell him?

Hm. To get a haircut.

(both laughing)

- Jokes. - Jokes.

Tell him if he flies me in, I'll do the hook.

But not next Wednesday.

Yes, your lunch with Lucy and Francesca

on the Amalfi Coast.

Shall I book you a yacht?

(people cheering)

Hi.

Janet: Kyla.

Kyla! I'm doing a load of towels.

Do you have any hiding in your dungeon?

I want to help with your Steez Cubes ad.

Okay, well, no need to be snarky, Miss Teen 'Tude.

No, I'm serious.

I know how to make it super youthful and cool.

Me.

Really?!

Oh, my God. Yass! Yass! Yass!

I'm going to prepare. Okay, queen. Hello!

♪

Okay. So, then you'll want the 82-degree

field of view eyepiece.

It's my personal fave. I love her.

But this old beauty predates the eyepiece,

so you're going to need the adaptor.

So, adaptor in.

Don't worry if you can't find it.

I always keep spares in the side pocket.

Thanks.

No problem.

Did I get the timing on that right?

I just know that you got my manners

and your dad's organizational skills.

- Or lack thereof. - (chuckling)

Which reminds me,

I should really do one of these on how to

put away your clean laundry, Lucy.

I'll get to it!

Okay, do you've got your adaptor.

This video is one of my favourites.

Set screws. It's righty tighty, not lefty loosey.

Nice to see this old girl out of storage.

So, I heard you didn't love Francesca's advice earlier.

She just makes everything seem so easy.

And it's not.

Nothing feels like home.

Except this.

Everything's new here.

Actually, everything's ancient here,

but it's new to us,

but that's not bad.

Just different.

I don't want different. I want...

You know what I love?

Pilates.

(grunting) Excuse me?

Yeah, when I first saw those machines, I was like,

"Ah, hard pass," but then Francesca encouraged me,

and now I love it.

This isn't the same.

What I'm saying is,

maybe a way to settle here is

try some new things, you know?

Find your Pilates, Lucy.

(snorting)

I'm working on it.

Can I just get back to the telescope?

We just want to help you-

I don't need your help.

I'm happy for you and Francesca and your Pilates or whatever.

Sweetie-

I just want my old life!

(clattering)

(panting)

♪

You okay?

Been better.

I've been thinking about our talk,

and I believe I found a solution for you.

Dai sali.

I promise it'll make you smile.

♪

- (music playing) - Wow.

This place is beautiful.

But what are we doing here?

Remember how I submitted a proposal to create

the theme song for this year's Empire Euro Cup?

Well, I was selected.

Oh, that's amazing! Congrats!

And the producer thought it would be great

if you helped me with it.

Like, helped bring you drinks?

Pitch on the lyrics, add a youthful voice.

What happens if I press this?

Try it.

Now, hold it and say a word into the mic.

Meow.

(chuckling)

(adding silly effects to the audio)

(laughing)

Should we get started?

♪ Make every beat count like the heartbeat ♪

♪ That keeps you alive ♪

♪ Push through the doubt and look fear in the eye ♪

♪ It is your moment, you earned it ♪

♪ So own it, and... ♪

Incredible!

What do you need me for?

It still needs verses and a bridge.

And how do we do that?

I hear you making up songs with Kyla all the time.

How do you do it with her?

Make her laugh. Sing about butts

or Kyla's smelly brother.

If this can be about Kevin's smelly butt, I'm your gal.

Okay, this song is more about bravery.

You want me to help?

You don't think you're brave?

Moving to a new country to start a new life?

♪ Pulse rushing, head spinning ♪

♪ The sound of the crowd ♪

♪ One step from breaking new ground ♪

Sorry, that's silly.

Oh, I like that. Keep going.

♪ You see it ♪

♪ You want it ♪

♪ Gotta dare to make it true ♪

♪ Next step is all up to you ♪

(chuckling)

♪ I got all my people running ♪

Fog machine ready to go?

Just about, buttercup.

♪ Yeah, we flex it like we should ♪

I want thick clouds wafting around the Steez Cubes,

and me floating out of it like a neon goddess.

(camera clicking)

Um, where will these ads be posted?

Well, mainly to my online parent group.

I got 127 followers, so.

I'm a micro influencer.

Are any of your followers agents?

Shirley is a real estate agent.

And Uncle Graham works as a special agent with the FBI.

So, he knows important people. (chuckling)

Okay. Remember my directions.

Stop worrying.

My girlfriends always ask me to take the group shot at brunch.

Say, "Eggs Benny!"

♪ Make every beat count ♪

♪ Make every beat count ♪

♪ Make every beat count ♪

♪ Make every beat count ♪

♪ This is your moment, you've earned it ♪

♪ So own it, let's see you rise ♪

(laughing)

That was, like, so good, right?

Fantastica!

Okay, let's get it to the producers.

Okay.

I think they are going to love it.

And I can't wait for everyone to see us perform.

Perform?

The song. At the Empire Europe Cup.

Here in Rome first, then at the final in Berlin.

Me? Live in front of how many people?

They thought it would be great if we did it as

a step-mother, step-daughter duo,

like at my concert.

But that wasn't-

I didn't even really mean to perform,

and I felt like barfing for three days after.

You'll get over the stage fright.

But-

I don't want to perform.

Oh.

I thought this might help you feel less homesick.

You said you were jealous of my life-

Exactly. You want to give me your life.

But I don't want to be some pop star.

I want to do something meaningful with my life,

like my mother.

♪

I can't believe I said that to her.

There's no coming back from that.

I'll have to live on the streets.

Well, you can live off of me with all the Steez Cubes money

I'm about to rake in.

How much is a haunted palace?

You're getting along with Janet

and I'm fighting with Francesca?

I'm dropped in the step-mom multiverse.

All I want to do is come home and curl up with you

and Colonel Catfield.

Too bad you can't just hop on a plane.

Wait, why can't I?

How dare you make me the voice of reason?

You don't even have a credit card,

so unless you have some private jet.

Emilia: Dry cleaning!

Salsacino, do not pee on these clothes again.

This is a pleated mini-dress, not a patch of grass.

Hai capito?

Kyla, you're a genius.

Uh, Emilia!

Francesca said she needs a last minute change

to her travel itinerary.

Weird. She didn't text me about it.

She's been so busy with the track.

Not to be interrupted.

But she said she needs to reroute

the jet to America... tonight.

Kyla: Lucy, what are you doing?

I think I should check with her.

She can't tell you anyway. It's top secret.

Someone wants her to record a hook,

and no one can know who.

Can I have a hint?

They dot their I's with hearts.

Queen Bey?

I won't say a word, I promise.

I'll send you the revised itinerary right away.

Thank you.

Queen Bey. Okay.

(squealing)

That was some evil genius stuff right there.

Mama's coming home, baby.

(squealing)

By the way, did you mute me?

No.

Uh, do you think this fluffy slime needs more shaving cream?

Have you plotted your results so far?

Hey, I'm sorry. I meant to have way more of this done

before you came, but something important came up.

Okay?

He speaks!

(phone vibrating)

- (laughing) - What?

Come on. You're in my house,

eating my snacks.

How did you get this?

Someone sent it to me.

It's horrible.

On purpose, right?

No.

It was supposed to be good.

I was supposed to get noticed

and famous!

(phone vibrating)

(chuckling)

Still might get famous.

(sighing)

People make fun of me, too.

You just have to get ahead of it. Here.

"Steez Cubes comes in eight different colors,

including Deep Embarrassment Red."

(both laughing)

That's good. Can I do one?

Here.

(chuckling)

There.

(chuckling) "Steez Cubes, they'll save your leftovers,

but not your step-mom's graphic design skills."

(both laughing)

I wish I could post this instead.

Why can't you?

Isn't that mean to Janet?

Is she the one who put up the original?

Yeah, you know, you're right.

I'm doing it.

Thank you, James.

(chuckling)

♪

(chuckling)

I'll miss you most of all.

(laughing)

Oh.

Okay.

Ooh!

Hi!

(squealing)

Hi.

(laughing) Oh, my.

Janet: What did you do?

I'm so sorry. I thought it would be so good,

and I'd get to visit Lucy in Italy,

but everyone thought it was a joke,

and then Jimmy-

What? No. I mean, the maymay you posted.

Am I saying that right?

No, it's a meme.

Well, that maymay got shared a lot.

My Steez Cube sales are through the roof!

So, what I did was good?

(chuckling) It was great!

I'm definitely learning the wrong lesson.

I got 55 more followers,

added five people to my down line,

jumped to Junior Bronze level,

and I got the bonus airline miles.

(chuckling) How can I ever repay you?

Well, actually-

♪ My name is Janet and I'm here to say ♪

♪ Kyla helped me save the day ♪

Please stop rapping.

Never! Oh, Kyla!

How did you find out?

They called to double check that I really wanted to change

the in-flight menu

to cheesecake and double chocolate cookies.

Also, Emilia told me you were trying to run away.

Emilia.

Does my dad know?

But I told him I'd talk to you about it.

I'm so sorry for what I said.

No, Lucy, I'm sorry.

You are?

When the producer said she wanted us to sing together,

I jumped at the chance.

I thought it would be so cool.

It probably would, but-

That isn't for you.

I was wrong to push so hard.

Being a step-mom is still new to me.

Perdoname.

I like music, I really do, but-

You want to stay connected to your old life and your mom.

I know.

I get it now.

That's why I got you something.

Thank you.

To replace the broken one.

I know it was your mom's favorite.

I hope it'll make you feel less homesick.

♪

♪

And there's Andromeda.

It looks just like it did from the treehouse.

I wish mom was here to see this.

Well, Italy is basically the same latitude as back home,

so we're pretty much looking at the same sky.

So, she would have seen most of this.

Salsacino- Oh, uh, scusate.

- I'll leave you- - No, no! Come look.

Come on.

Oh.

Oh, wow.

Imagine shining so bright

that your light travels through space like that.

Actually, a lot of the light we see is from stars

that are likely already dead.

You know what?

I'll take the beauty without the existential dread.

(laughing)

(phone vibrating)

Kyla: Lucy, I have enormous news!

(gasping) Colonel Catfield finally started

eating properly again!?

He did. I realized I had to move the food dish

away from the litter box.

Reasonable. But that's not it!

Janet's going to use her air miles to

get us two tickets to Rome!

- You're coming to see me!? - I'm coming to see you!

(both screaming)

♪

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