Original subtitles

♪♪ [ trumpet ]

Howdy. I'm the Old Ranger,

and Death Valley's my stampin' ground.

Many's the tale of adventure I'm going to tell you about the Death Valley country.

True stories, mind you. I can vouch for that.

My yarn this evening is about the chivaree

that broke all records in the Death Valley region.

You never heard of a chivaree?

Well, neither did Jay Kenniston Phipps,

until he came out to Death Valley on a prospecting trip,

looking not for gold, nor silver, nor borax,

but for moths and butterflies.

What the heck's he doing, Rocky?

A-darned if I-- Oh, it's you.

Get away from me, you claim-jumping varmint.

[ laughing ]

[ laughing continues ]

Hiya, Shorty. Hiya, Myrt.

Say, who's the brush-upper out there with the fishnet?

That, my good man, is Jay Kenniston Phipps, Jr.

Just arrived from Boston.

Hey, that's pretty classy. Must have money, huh?

Money, and a license to hunt... bugs.

It's not a license, it's a diploma.

And he's not a bug hunter, he's a lepidopterist.

Oh. A lepi-what?

A lepidopterist--

a collector of moths and butterflies.

Oh. Well, if that's what he's chasing, he oughta come and look in my bureau drawers.

They got plenty of moths over there. [ laughing ]

The kind of moths Mr. Phipps is after

wouldn't be caught dead in your drawers.

He's looking for a rare specimen found only in this region.

Lepidoptery is a very specialized study,

and nothing to laugh about.

How do you know so much about it?

He told me.

Myrt's got a crush on him. You better watch out, Fred.

The first thing you know, he'll have her in his net.

He better not let me catch him trying. I'll knock the butterflies

right out of him. Don't you dare, Fred Thompson, or I'll--

Oh, Mr. Phipps! Any luck?

Oh, yes, indeed. I've been fortunate

beyond my most optimistic expectations.

So you're Jay Kenniston Phipps, Jr., huh?

Yes, that's correct. But you seem to have the advantage of me.

I don't recall-- My name is Fred Thompson,

better known as "Fraction Fred."

"Fraction Fred." I say, that is an odd cognomen.

Would it be rude to inquire of you

where you obtained such an appendage?

Such a what? Appendage.

In, uh-- In this instance, a nickname.

Well, uh-- Oh, oh. Well, I'll tell you about that sometime.

But right now, all I wanna say

is that if you're going to stay around here,

you better stick to collecting butterflies with wings.

Get me? Why, your tone implies a warning,

but your words leave me confused.

I have never seen butterflies without wings.

Uh, do you know of any? Let me put it another way--

It isn't necessary to put it any way, Fred.

Now, go ahead, Mr. Phipps, about the luck you had.

Oh, yes, indeed. I have in here

a very excellent Apantesis virgo.

Oh, that's wonderful!

It sure is. What is it?

A moth. Apantesis is its classification,

and virgo is Latin for... "virgin."

Well, what do you know about that?

Comes here and snags himself a virgo

before he even gets his bags unpacked.

Doin' all right, ain't he, Fred?

Would you like to look at it?

I'd just love to. All right.

You'll have to be careful. It's still alive.

Oh, it's looking right back at me!

Well, let it look at me.

[ gasps ] Oh! Oh!

[ laughing ] Now see what you've done!

[ chattering ]

[ exclaiming ] [ laughing continues ]

Oh, I beg your pardon, sir.

Oh! Oh, no!

Go on! There he goes! There he is!

Come on! That's it!

Get that bird, Joe Phipps! Come on!

MYRT: Oh! Oh!

There! There he is! There! Come on!

[ Fred shouting ]

SHORTY: Come on, J.P.! He's up there!

Oh!

By Jove, Phipps!

Come on, Phipps! Come on!

Oh, come on!

[ Fred shouts ] Hurry! Oh!

[ men laughing ]

Hey, watch out for the merchandise.

Help me, somebody. Don't let it get away.

SHORTY: Come on! Get him! Get him!

[ men laughing ] MYRT: Oh!

FRED: Get that bird, Joe Phipps! [ gunshot ]

There you are, sonny boy.

It won't fly away now.

Truer words were never spoken. [ Fred laughs ]

Nice shootin', Rocky.

Keep your hands off of me, or I'll add a buzzard to them pieces.

I'm sorry, Mr. Phipps.

You shouldn't have done that, Rocky.

Well, he yelled for help, didn't he?

Yes, but he wanted to catch it,

not blast it into-- It's all right, Miss Mullins.

The old man didn't understand.

I ain't no man, old or otherwise.

Why, I beg your pardon, madam.

Your-- Your attire mislead me.

Yeah, I guess it could, at that.

Just shows ya, clothes don't make the man.

[ laughing ] You shut up!

And for that there bug, what's so all-fired important about it?

Mr. Phipps collects moths,

and it was a very rare specimen.

I may never get another.

Aw, shucks. I know where there's a lot of them things.

Like this? Yep.

And other kinds too. Big ones, little ones,

some with stripes on 'em, and some with-- Where?

Brush Creek, over Death Valley way.

How do I get there? I'll show you.

You will?

She will not. I will too.

We can make it in a day easy if Pop will loan us his automobile.

Will you, Pop? Well, now, I don't know.

That's a pretty rough road. Yeah, it is, isn't it?

I'll be happy to pay for the use of the car and any damage I might incur.

Uhhh...

Well, on second thought, I guess it ain't too rough.

We'll start early Saturday morning.

Now, listen to me, Myrt--

Fred, would you do me a favor?

Sure.

Go fall down a mine shaft.

Ha! And pick yourself a deep one.

[ laughing ] Ah...

Come on, Shorty.

How about it, Joe? Just one more time.

That's all I'm asking.

I'm sorry, Rocky, but I abso-posi-lutely

can't give you no more credit.

It's gotta be cash on the barrelhead from now on.

Can't get supplies without money.

You can't get money without prospecting.

You can't go prospecting without supplies.

Hmph. Like wiping your mouth on a hoop.

You just go around in circles.

Ain't as if I don't wanna do it, Rocky.

But you're on the books now for mighty near $400.

Well, thanks anyway, Joe. [ mouthing words ]

Uh, just a minute, Rocky. I guess it'll be all right just one time more.

It will? Well, thank you, Joe. Thank you.

Bye-bye!

You better bring her back by dark, or you'll have a date with me.

Never seen such a paradise for Lepidoptera.

Look at this rare specimen...

Uh...

Ohhh.

To think I should find you way out here in the desert

is almost too good to be true.

Oh, I cannot take my eyes off of you.

So different from all the others.

So lovely, so delicate.

More priceless than a jewel.

Ah-ah-ah. Be careful.

Don't break those pretty legs. [ laughs ]

I don't believe I've ever seen such a long antenna

or such a well-developed mesothorax.

Truly, you are the queen of queens,

and I shall keep you and treasure you always.

Oh, Mr. Phipps! Why, Miss Mullins!

That was the most beautiful speech anyone ever said to me.

But I wasn't talking-- Oh, don't say any more.

It's about time you showed up. Hello, Shorty.

Hello, Pop! Well, how'd it go?

Oh, we had a wonderful day. Yes, indeed.

Got what you was after, huh?

I certainly did,

and something on which I had not planned--

a beautiful Americanus femaleus.

"Americanus femaleus"?

I-- I don't believe I ever seen one of them things.

Yes, you have, Pop. That's me!

Come again?

In a matter of levity, Mr. Mullins,

I was attempting to inform you that your daughter and I

have discovered a mutual affection for each other.

Why, you don't say!

Is that true, Myrtle? MYRTLE: It is.

Well, I ain't gonna stand for it.

No lily-fingered bug chaser's gonna add my girl to his collection.

Don't you talk to him like that!

You keep outta this. Lookit, Phipps.

I got a strong urge to start collecting those lopa--

the "lopaderus" hides.

If you don't want yours tacked to my barn door,

you better be out of this territory by morning.

Is that clear?

Onions. What?

You've been eating onions, Mr. Thompson,

and your close proximity is repulsive to me.

Kindly maintain a respectable distance.

And furthermore, Miss Mullins explained to me

how you acquired the nickname "Fraction"--

by cheating poor Miss Rocky out of a fraction of land

that was worth a considerable sum of money.

I never cheated her. She just overlooked that fraction,

so I stepped in and filed on it.

It was good business and smart business.

It was a contemptible deed

and denotes a person of very, very slippery character.

You mealymouthed Easterner, I'll break your neck.

Sit down.

You should learn to control your temper, Mr. Thompson.

Only animals display their feelings by physical violence.

Well, I should retire to my quarters.

Good night, Miss Mullins.

Good night, gentlemen.

[ door opens, closes ]

Hey, Fred, what happened to ya?

I don't know.

Put his finger on my neck, and I got as weak as a baby.

Darnedest thing I ever seen.

Hey, that fella's dangerous.

You better watch out, Myrt. He might do it to you.

He doesn't have to.

[ laughing ]

[ laughing stops ]

Hi, Myrt.

I was just coming to see ya.

Good morning, Mr. Thompson.

Uh, so you missed me while I was away? Away?

Yeah, I was over at the county seat for four days.

I'm sorry. I've been so busy,

I was unaware of your absence.

Aw, come on, Myrt.

You ain't gonna throw me over for that guy, are ya? It ain't fair.

Why not? Well--

Well, for one thing, I've known you longer than he has.

The depth of one's feelings are not governed

by the length of acquaintanceship, Mr. Thompson.

Oh.

Hey, Myrt, Myrt, listen. Why don't you get some sense?

This guy Phipps ain't got nothing but a butterfly net.

You ain't even got that.

Oh, no? I got plenty.

I haven't told you anything, 'cause--

well, I wanted to surprise ya.

But exactly one minute after midnight on the 30th of this month,

I'll be worth $50,000.

Where you gonna get it?

If I tell ya, will you keep it a secret?

Uh-huh. Cross your heart?

Cross my heart.

Well, look, I found out the Sandstorm claim was lapsing--

that the owner hasn't done his required assessment work this year.

MYRTLE: And you're gonna grab it.

Well, not grab it. Let's say, uh, relocate it.

You see, I got the papers all filled out.

At the stroke of midnight on the 30th,

I'll be on the ground ready to file.

You would. And why not?

I'm sorry I ever gave you my word I wouldn't tell.

Good morning, Kenniston.

Good morning, Kenniston.

Hmm?

Oh, Miss Mullins.

What brings you here?

We had a date to discuss our wedding plans.

Don't you remember?

Oh, I'm sorry. It completely slipped my mind.

It hasn't slipped your mind that you wanna get married, has it?

Oh, no, no. I'm still very strongly in favor of that.

Pops thought we might wanna go away for the wedding,

but I prefer it here, don't you?

Yes, I think that would be much nicer.

And, uh, I'm not in favor of long engagements.

Are you? No. Uh, not too long.

Then how about next Wednesday?

Next Wednesday. Let me see.

Uh...

Oh, I'm sorry.

The cecropia moth hatches that week.

But, uh, three weeks from next Wednesday is open.

How does that sound?

Sounds like a long way off.

But if you're sure no moths will be around to bother us,

why, three weeks from Wednesday it is.

Splendid! Splendid!

Oh, Kenniston!

Pretty soon it'll all be over but the chivareein'.

Yes, I intended to speak to you about that.

About what? This "chivareeing," as you call it.

Now, if I understand it correctly,

when there is a wedding in these rural areas,

the people gather themselves

outside the bride and groom's domicile

and make themselves obnoxious with noises

of every conceivable description.

That's right. So we'll invite them in for food and drink.

Yes. Well, I have had a taste of the horseplaying

and the coarse jokes predominant in this community,

and I shall not play host to such an affair.

But a wedding will hardly seem legal without a chivaree.

Besides, if you don't invite 'em in,

they'll just keep up the racket until you do.

That, Miss Mullins, should prove very interesting.

Oohh!

Why don't you look where you're going?

I beg your pardon, Miss Rocky.

It's nice to see you again.

Why? Why?

Uh, why, just because it is nice.

How was the prospecting trip? Did you find anything?

Yeah. Found my way back.

I was hoping you'd had the same sort of luck that I had.

Oh, I obtained some wonderful specimens over there in Brush Canyon.

I want to thank you again for sending me there.

Reckon you've got some thanks coming from me

for fixing up my credit with Joe at the store.

Oh, I requested him not to say anything to you.

He didn't. Myrt did.

But if you're figurin' on getting anything for it-- Oh, no. No, indeed.

I had no ulterior motive, I assure you.

Y-You mean you done it just out of kindness?

Out of selfishness.

You see, I receive more pleasure in giving

than you did in receiving.

It's been a long time since anyone done something for me

without an ax to grind.

So long I can't even remember.

And I-- I don't know what to say.

Why, don't say anything.

Leave me alone, will ya?

And don't be so dang nice.

You got me blubberin' like an old woman.

[ sniffles ]

If you ever tell anybody I busted down--

Oh, now, don't worry. I won't say a word.

FRANK: "Five kegs of beer."

Five kegs of beer.

"Fifty pounds of ham."

Fifty pounds ham.

"A small barrel of pickles."

Small barrel pickles.

"One gallon of olives."

One gallon olives.

"Two cases of crackers."

Two cases crackers.

Uh, same with cookies too. Two cases--

Make it four, Fred. All right. Make it four, Pops.

Four cases cookies.

What's all that stuff fer?

SHORTY: Phipps' chivaree.

I hear tell he's dead set against one.

Well, he might be set against one,

but he's gonna have one anyway.

The loudest, gol-darnedest chivaree that ever hit Death Valley.

And he's gonna pay for it too.

I gotta get me something out of losing Myrt.

You're just blunti'' your pick, Fred.

That Phipps feller's stubborn,

and when he says "no chivaree,"

my money says there'll be no chivaree.

Your money? [ laughs ]

If you had any, you mean. Well, I can get some, if you're interested.

FRED: I'm interested.

How much? You name it.

$500.

[ laughing ]

Gee! Five hundred doll--

[ laughing ]

Where will you ever get that much, Rocky?

From you.

Oh.

Me?

Sure. My credit's good, ain't it?

Well, sure, but only for groceries.

All right.

$500 worth of groceries.

How about it?

It's a bet.

[ laughing ]

Ah.

Do you like it? Oh, yes. It's very nice.

Pop loaned it to us until we go back East.

That was very generous of him.

I brought your butterfly net and equipment over.

Why, thank you.

I-Isn't that suit kind of warm?

Yes, it is, very.

Why don't you change into something more comfortable?

That's a very good idea.

I-I beg your pardon.

[ people whooping ] [ metallic clanging ]

Kiss her, Phippsie! Kiss her for me, Phippsie!

[ whooping continues ] [ clanging continues ]

How about blowing out the lamps?

You mean, have the house in darkness?

As long as we're not gonna ask 'em in,

we might as well discourage them completely.

What would they think?

Let 'em think what they want to.

No. We're keeping the lights on.

But we'll suffocate with everything shut up.

At least we'll suffocate with dignity.

[ sighs ]

[ whooping continues ] [ clanging continues ]

MAN: Phippsie, come on out!

Ain't budged a bit. Maybe they're dummies.

Yeah, one of 'em is, for sure.

[ laughter ]

All right, folks! Give it everything you got,

and keep it up till this butterfly catcher comes to the door!

[ laughter ] [ clanging resumes ]

[ whooping resumes ]

Come on, Phippsie!

Come on! Come on out!

Kenniston, it's almost midnight.

They've been at it for four straight hours.

I trust they're enjoying themselves.

Well, I'm not.

Why don't you give up and let 'em in?

Most emphatically, no.

I do not give up that easily.

[ no whooping ] [ lackluster clanging ]

Hey, hey...

Looks like Rocky's won her bet.

Yeah, well, I ain't through yet.

Yeah, but it's morning already.

There's no law against holding a chivaree during the day.

You mean you wanna keep on going?

You're darn right I do. Not me.

I'm going home and get me some sleep.

Well, you go ahead and quit if you want to.

The rest of us are gonna stick it out, ain't we? Yeah!

Let's go! Come on!

[ whooping resumes ] Oh, no!

[ clanging intensifies ]

MAN: Come on out!

Come on out! THE OLD RANGER: All day long,

Fred kept the chivareers hard at it,

and on into a second night.

Around dawn, they brought in reinforcements.

[ donkeys braying loudly ]

Another day.

Almost 48 hours, now, they'd been at it,

with neither side showing any signs of yielding.

[ whooping continues ] [ clanging continues ]

[ donkeys braying ]

And then, toward midnight of the second night--

The silence seems louder than the noise.

...Fraction Fred staged his final attack.

Kenniston, what was that?

[ explosion ] [ whooping resumes ]

[ clanging resumes ]

The idea!

[ huffs ]

Why, Myrtle, where are you going?

I'm leaving you, Mr. Phipps.

Leaving your bed and board, as the saying goes.

Myrtle, please! I've stood all I can, so if you'll please let me by.

Myrtle, I realize that our marriage has been very trying so far,

but, please, just have a little patience

just a little longer, please.

What for? Why--

You're not a man, you're a... moth!

PHIPPS: Miss Rocky!

Did you get it? Yep. Everything's hunky-dory.

How did you get in? Back window.

Splendid! Splendid!

[ whooping continues ] [ clanging continues ]

What's going on here?

Come in, ladies and gentlemen. The light string is out.

[ chattering ]

[ laughter ]

[ chatter ]

Go right into the kitchen, folks,

and eat and drink your fill.

[ laughter, chatter continue ]

So we finally blasted you into it, huh?

Your endurance and tenacity has been most commendable.

Well, I don't know what that means, but you ain't gonna think it's so good

when Pops sends you a bill for all the beer and grub I sent over.

Nothing can dampen my happiness over your success.

Would somebody please tell me-- Why, yes, my dear,

I'd be more than happy to.

[ chatter, laughter continue ]

Well, what are you smirking about? We're in. You lost.

Yep. So did you.

Know what day this is? Certainly. It's Friday.

Nope. Saturday.

One hour and 20 minutes past the 30th.

Thir-- The 30th!

[ laughs ] You been so busy worrying about a little chickenfeed,

you plumb forgot about the Sandstorm claim, didn't ya?

Where'd you find out about this?

Mr. Phipps heared you telling Myrtle outside his laboratory.

So that's why he wouldn't let us chivareers in.

Let me at that guy. He's busy.

He's going to be a lot busier.

All right, Phippsie boy.

I got myself a lepidopterist!

[ laughs ]

Oh, Kenniston!

♪♪ [ trumpet ]