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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:42,710 - What was that? 2 00:00:51,427 --> 00:00:52,428 Wanda? 3 00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:53,512 Yes, dear? 4 00:00:53,596 --> 00:00:56,182 Are you using your powers to turn on the light? 5 00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:57,641 -Yes, dear. 6 00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,476 Allow me, sweetheart. 7 00:01:05,107 --> 00:01:06,108 What do you see? 8 00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:08,819 Only your lovely rose bushes. 9 00:01:09,612 --> 00:01:10,863 That's all? 10 00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:13,240 Are you using your night vision, Vision? 11 00:01:13,324 --> 00:01:15,492 I assure you, my love, I see nothing amiss. 12 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,828 You have absolutely no reason to be frightened... 13 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:23,751 You were saying? 14 00:01:24,543 --> 00:01:26,795 Actually, I did overhear a couple of lads at work 15 00:01:26,879 --> 00:01:29,965 remarking on a few unsavory characters settling in the neighborhood. 16 00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:33,010 Now, who knows what those ne'er-do-wells might be up to? 17 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,262 Robbing houses, vandalizing property. 18 00:01:35,346 --> 00:01:38,015 Walking through walls, moving objects without touching them. 19 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:41,644 Wanda, darling, you can't be suggesting my colleagues were referring to us. 20 00:01:45,481 --> 00:01:48,651 One of us should really determine the source of that sound. 21 00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:51,487 Yes, one of us should. 22 00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:54,490 Oh, this is getting ridiculous. 23 00:01:55,658 --> 00:01:56,992 I'm going to take a look. 24 00:01:57,076 --> 00:01:58,827 - Oh, God! Darling! 25 00:02:04,667 --> 00:02:06,210 Well, I think we handled that well. 26 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,420 Yes, I must say I'm rather proud of myself. 27 00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:12,550 And look how you seized on the opportunity to redecorate. 28 00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:15,219 - This is better, isn't it? - Mmm. 29 00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:19,306 Wanda, darling? 30 00:02:19,390 --> 00:02:20,558 Yes, dear? 31 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,268 Get the light. 32 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,079 WandaVision! 33 00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:53,173 WandaVision! 34 00:03:04,977 --> 00:03:08,105 WandaVision Wa-WandaVision 35 00:03:08,189 --> 00:03:10,649 WandaVision Wa-WandaVision 36 00:03:10,733 --> 00:03:13,694 WandaVision Wa-WandaVision 37 00:03:14,737 --> 00:03:16,405 WandaVision! 38 00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:22,912 Ladies and gentlemen, for my final trick, 39 00:03:22,995 --> 00:03:27,291 I bring you the Cabinet of Mysteries. 40 00:03:29,835 --> 00:03:32,713 - Darling, that's your cue. - You said, "Cabinet of Mysteries?" 41 00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:36,300 I said, "The Cabinet of Mysteries." 42 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:39,094 Oh, that's my cue. Ooh! 43 00:03:39,178 --> 00:03:41,514 Holy Toledo! 44 00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:45,059 Darling, do all the other acts in the talent show 45 00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:47,353 have such elaborate props? 46 00:03:48,312 --> 00:03:49,563 Are you kidding? 47 00:03:49,647 --> 00:03:51,232 Fred and Linda are building a moat 48 00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:54,151 and a fully-functioning portcullis and no one even knows why. 49 00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:55,319 Let's keep going. 50 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,363 Yes, yes. Where was I? Um... 51 00:03:57,446 --> 00:04:01,075 Watch closely as I, Illusion, Master of Enigma, 52 00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:04,787 make my captivating assistant, Glamour, disappear. 53 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,459 You really are very dashing. 54 00:04:10,543 --> 00:04:12,127 Mmm, thank you, darling. 55 00:04:12,211 --> 00:04:14,213 Fear not, Glamour. 56 00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:18,843 For I, Illusion, vow to bring you back exactly as you are. 57 00:04:20,219 --> 00:04:22,596 Abracadabra! 58 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:27,393 Ta-ta... 59 00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:34,692 Yes, um, Wanda, you're not at all worried 60 00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:38,737 that the audience might just see through this little charade? 61 00:04:38,821 --> 00:04:40,406 Well, that's the whole point. 62 00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:42,867 In a real magic act, everything is fake. 63 00:04:44,326 --> 00:04:48,539 Darling, the talent show fundraiser is the most important event of the season 64 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:51,417 and it's our neighborly duty to participate. 65 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:55,004 Plus, it's our chance to appear as normal as possible while doing so. 66 00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:57,464 Well, I don't think that should be a problem. 67 00:04:58,632 --> 00:04:59,717 This is our home now. 68 00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:06,849 Oh, darling, we do. We shall. 69 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:10,186 And we're gonna knock their socks off, 70 00:05:10,269 --> 00:05:14,481 especially with you wearing this. 71 00:05:14,565 --> 00:05:16,692 Oh, that's actually the rest of your costume. 72 00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:17,776 Oh! 73 00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,071 Well, I better get going 74 00:05:21,155 --> 00:05:23,282 If I'm gonna make the planning committee meeting. 75 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:24,950 That's me off as well, actually. 76 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:26,994 There's a gathering of the neighborhood watch 77 00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:28,662 at the public library. 78 00:05:28,746 --> 00:05:30,956 And after last night's excitement, 79 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:34,376 I want to make sure this town's security is up to snuff. 80 00:05:34,460 --> 00:05:36,086 That's a swell idea. 81 00:05:37,046 --> 00:05:40,257 You tell those tree branches who's boss. 82 00:05:41,634 --> 00:05:42,968 Would you look at us? 83 00:05:43,052 --> 00:05:45,930 Wanda and Vision, Westview fitter-inners. 84 00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:49,892 I'll see you at curtain call. 85 00:07:00,004 --> 00:07:03,841 Look, it's the star o' the show. 86 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,009 Agnes. 87 00:07:06,385 --> 00:07:07,970 I'm sorry. What did you say? 88 00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:11,140 Oh, I brought my pet rabbit. For your magic act. 89 00:07:11,223 --> 00:07:15,436 Yes, of course! Thank you, Agnes. 90 00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:18,314 We will take good care of him. 91 00:07:18,397 --> 00:07:21,066 Señor Scratchy just loves the stage. 92 00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:24,403 He played baby Jesus in last year's Christmas pageant. 93 00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,113 Oh. 94 00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:30,117 Oh, morning, Dennis. 95 00:07:30,201 --> 00:07:31,619 Morning, Agnes. 96 00:07:31,702 --> 00:07:32,786 Stick 'em up. 97 00:07:34,163 --> 00:07:35,998 Don't shoot. I'm just a messenger. 98 00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,750 Pew-pew! 99 00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:40,211 Mmm. 100 00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:44,465 - Shall we? - Oh, we shall. 101 00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:53,474 So, are you ready to meet Queen Cul de Sac and her Merry Homemakers? 102 00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:55,768 Agnes, Dottie can't be as bad as you say. 103 00:07:55,851 --> 00:07:59,980 Hmm, well, you'll notice her roses bloom under penalty of death. 104 00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:06,403 Wanda, can I give you a bit of friendly advice? 105 00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:08,197 Is it about the way how I'm dressed? 106 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,241 Yes, but it's too late for that. 107 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,453 Dottie is the key to everything in this town. 108 00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:17,957 Country club memberships, parties, school admissions... 109 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,251 Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. 110 00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:23,921 You get in with Dottie and it'll be smooth sailing from here on out. 111 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:27,591 Just mind your P's and Q's and you're gonna do just fine. 112 00:08:27,675 --> 00:08:30,761 Or maybe I could just be myself? More or less? 113 00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:38,602 Oh, Wanda, that's good. 114 00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:43,482 Everybody, hurry up please. 115 00:08:44,483 --> 00:08:47,278 Hiya, Dottie! Your roses are divine. 116 00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:49,697 Well, thank you. 117 00:08:58,289 --> 00:09:01,667 The Rotary Club is finishing the stage set-up as we speak. 118 00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:04,044 They've given the gazebo a fresh coat of paint 119 00:09:04,128 --> 00:09:07,965 and will be installing the final decorations all through the town square. 120 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,925 And if you recognize the antique footlights, 121 00:09:10,009 --> 00:09:12,136 it's because they're from my store. 122 00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,721 And the chairs? 123 00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:18,934 I'm sorry, Dottie. I didn't ask about the chairs. 124 00:09:19,018 --> 00:09:22,980 So you better not ask me if you can chair any committees in the future. 125 00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:28,485 The devil's in the details, Bev. 126 00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,946 That's not the only place he is. 127 00:09:31,030 --> 00:09:33,157 As you all know, the talent show 128 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:36,076 is the sole fundraiser for Westview Elementary. 129 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:37,203 This might help. 130 00:09:37,286 --> 00:09:39,914 In the eight years since I founded our little club, 131 00:09:39,997 --> 00:09:43,250 this event has gotten bigger and better every season. 132 00:09:43,334 --> 00:09:46,128 Say, those pants are peachy keen. 133 00:09:46,212 --> 00:09:47,755 Do you really think so? 134 00:09:47,838 --> 00:09:50,090 The other ladies are in skirts. I was worried. 135 00:09:50,174 --> 00:09:52,176 We only have a few hours until show time, 136 00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:55,429 so a little less cross chatter and a little more focus. 137 00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:57,431 Okay. 138 00:09:57,515 --> 00:10:00,476 Those little boys and girls are counting on us. 139 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:03,354 All of this is for the children. 140 00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:04,772 "For the children." 141 00:10:05,898 --> 00:10:07,399 "For the children." 142 00:10:10,778 --> 00:10:14,823 So, I want you all to give yourselves a big hand... 143 00:10:17,535 --> 00:10:20,454 at the appropriate time, of course. 144 00:10:20,538 --> 00:10:23,999 But first let's review event etiquette. 145 00:10:24,083 --> 00:10:26,961 Dress code is upscale garden party... 146 00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:30,130 The only reason I didn't clap is because I'm afraid to move. 147 00:10:30,214 --> 00:10:31,298 Yeah. 148 00:10:31,882 --> 00:10:33,634 I actually don't know what I'm doing here. 149 00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:36,929 I'm starting to feel that way myself. I'm Wanda. 150 00:10:37,012 --> 00:10:41,267 - I'm, uh... Geraldine. - Hi. 151 00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:43,310 And I'm irritated. 152 00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:49,108 Tickets for tonight are completely sold out. 153 00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:51,026 Now, you can clap. 154 00:10:52,778 --> 00:10:54,280 And stop. 155 00:10:55,447 --> 00:10:58,367 Really, how is anybody doing this sober? 156 00:11:08,919 --> 00:11:10,254 - Let's say green. - Yeah. 157 00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,089 I mean, the other side could be dirt. 158 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,884 Pardon me. Is this the neighborhood watch meeting? 159 00:11:15,968 --> 00:11:18,429 Oh, hiya, Vision. 160 00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:20,556 Didn't expect to see you here. 161 00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:25,769 This is sort of a "members only" type deal. 162 00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:28,647 Ah! Certainly. Right. Well... 163 00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:31,859 I'll just stay here and be as quiet as a church mouse 164 00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:34,069 till you open up the floor for new business. 165 00:11:34,737 --> 00:11:37,156 Well, in truth, we were just getting to new business. 166 00:11:37,239 --> 00:11:40,201 Oh, splendid! Could you tell me how often you rotate security patrols? 167 00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:42,703 Do you interface directly with local law enforcement? 168 00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:45,039 What are your protocols for threats such as burglary, 169 00:11:45,122 --> 00:11:46,457 graffiti, and reckless driving? 170 00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:49,543 - No, Vision. - I know these are indeed grave matters. 171 00:11:49,627 --> 00:11:53,005 "New business" actually means another round of Danish. 172 00:11:53,756 --> 00:11:56,550 Raspberry or cheese-filled? 173 00:11:56,634 --> 00:11:58,969 Oh, neither for me, thank you. I don't eat food. 174 00:12:05,059 --> 00:12:09,230 What I mean to say is that I don't eat food in between meals but at mealtimes. 175 00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:11,899 I'm a regular eating machine. 176 00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:17,321 Hey, fellas. Vision here has got a point. 177 00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:21,283 Now, listen up. I got some top secret intelligence for you. 178 00:12:21,367 --> 00:12:22,409 Oh, excellent. 179 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:24,912 Now, you know how Johnson's been braggin' 180 00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:26,789 about that treehouse he built for his kids? 181 00:12:26,872 --> 00:12:27,998 Yeah. 182 00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:30,084 It's a prefab job. 183 00:12:31,377 --> 00:12:33,671 That blockhead can't even swing a hammer. 184 00:12:34,547 --> 00:12:35,631 I can do you one better. 185 00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:38,133 You know those bowling trophies Arthur's always polishing? 186 00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:42,346 He bought 'em all at a yard sale in Hackensack. 187 00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:45,349 I knew it. I've never once seen him down at the lanes. 188 00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:50,479 I too have some top secret gossip to share. 189 00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:55,109 Norm here's a Communist. 190 00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:07,162 Vision, you're a real cut-up. 191 00:13:07,246 --> 00:13:09,540 You know, I always thought you were kind of a square. 192 00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:13,085 - Me? No, I'm as round as they come. 193 00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:16,088 Hey, care for a stick o' Big Red? 194 00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:17,840 Well, hold on there a second. 195 00:13:17,923 --> 00:13:20,217 Didn't you hear the man? He doesn't eat food. 196 00:13:20,301 --> 00:13:21,844 Is gum food? 197 00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:24,555 Well, my understanding is that it's purely for mastication. 198 00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:26,974 No, I don't do that. 199 00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:30,895 Well, when in Westview... Cheers. 200 00:13:32,271 --> 00:13:34,315 Who knew you were such a funny guy? 201 00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:38,903 And to think you came here all hot and bothered about protocols and nonsense. 202 00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:40,946 We actually thought you were serious. 203 00:13:48,454 --> 00:13:53,042 He's funny. All right, so, back to this barbeque. 204 00:13:59,465 --> 00:14:03,219 That is why you never do a seating chart on an empty stomach. 205 00:14:03,302 --> 00:14:06,347 Golly, you're a whiz at all this committee stuff, Dottie. 206 00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:10,601 Thank you for choosing me to help you clean up today. I feel so lucky. 207 00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:12,228 You are. 208 00:14:16,941 --> 00:14:18,776 I can't help but wonder if you and I 209 00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:21,195 haven't gotten off on the wrong foot, Dottie. 210 00:14:21,278 --> 00:14:24,698 And I would like to correct that if I can. 211 00:14:24,782 --> 00:14:26,492 And how would you do that? 212 00:14:30,079 --> 00:14:32,081 I've heard things about you. 213 00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:36,210 You and your husband. 214 00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:40,256 Well, I don't know what you've been told, 215 00:14:42,341 --> 00:14:46,679 but I assure you I don't mean anyone any harm. 216 00:14:48,514 --> 00:14:50,266 I don't believe you. 217 00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:59,316 Wanda. Wanda, can you read me, over? 218 00:15:00,484 --> 00:15:02,444 - Wanda? - Who is that? 219 00:15:02,528 --> 00:15:03,737 Wanda? 220 00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:09,618 Who are you? 221 00:15:09,702 --> 00:15:12,162 Wanda? 222 00:15:12,246 --> 00:15:14,206 Wanda. 223 00:15:14,290 --> 00:15:16,876 Who is doing this to you, Wanda? 224 00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:20,546 Wanda? Wanda? Wan... 225 00:15:24,884 --> 00:15:25,968 Dottie! 226 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:32,057 You... Oh! 227 00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:40,232 Pop quiz, Wanda. 228 00:15:41,859 --> 00:15:44,695 How does a housewife get a bloodstain out of white linen? 229 00:15:47,031 --> 00:15:48,532 By doing it herself. 230 00:15:57,124 --> 00:16:02,296 They say a man is never fully-dressed without two important accessories. 231 00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:04,048 His special lady... 232 00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:08,719 and his Strücker. 233 00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:17,770 Strücker. He'll make time for you. 234 00:16:34,787 --> 00:16:37,623 Glad I don't have to follow this guy. 235 00:16:37,706 --> 00:16:39,250 Huh? What? 236 00:16:39,917 --> 00:16:41,377 Oh, but you're gonna be great. 237 00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:45,297 What time is it now? 238 00:16:45,381 --> 00:16:47,591 Mmm, two minutes after the last time you asked. 239 00:16:48,843 --> 00:16:50,469 I don't know where he could be. 240 00:16:54,765 --> 00:16:57,226 - Oh, is that him? 241 00:16:57,309 --> 00:17:00,563 Well, it looks like he's got a little hitch in his giddy-up. 242 00:17:00,646 --> 00:17:01,939 Whoa! 243 00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:09,655 Wanda, my little cabbage, you look smashing! 244 00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:11,156 -Whoa! 245 00:17:14,702 --> 00:17:15,786 - Vis. - Hmm. 246 00:17:15,870 --> 00:17:17,204 - Where have you been? - Oh. 247 00:17:17,288 --> 00:17:19,748 Uh, well, me and the boys were playing 248 00:17:19,832 --> 00:17:22,626 a rather thrilling game of horses with shoes. 249 00:17:22,710 --> 00:17:23,878 No, that's not it. 250 00:17:25,921 --> 00:17:27,798 Ah! Horse's shoes. 251 00:17:27,882 --> 00:17:32,011 Listen, something strange happened with Dottie. 252 00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:36,974 Well, something strange happened before that, too. It's hard to explain. 253 00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:39,560 I was just playing with his shoes. 254 00:17:39,643 --> 00:17:41,270 What is going on? 255 00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:42,438 You are! 256 00:17:44,982 --> 00:17:47,234 I want to thank you all for coming out 257 00:17:47,318 --> 00:17:51,614 to support Westview Elementary, "For the children." 258 00:17:51,697 --> 00:17:53,908 "For the children." 259 00:17:53,991 --> 00:17:55,201 And for our final act... 260 00:17:55,284 --> 00:17:59,205 I give you, Wanda and Vision. 261 00:18:16,764 --> 00:18:18,307 Hey! Hey! You're up, Cowboy! 262 00:18:19,183 --> 00:18:20,518 What? 263 00:18:21,519 --> 00:18:23,479 Oh! Yeah! I've to go! 264 00:18:24,438 --> 00:18:27,691 Hello, Westview! Good afternoon. 265 00:18:27,775 --> 00:18:29,109 It's so lovely to be... 266 00:18:29,193 --> 00:18:31,654 I'm so sorry. Excuse me. 267 00:18:31,737 --> 00:18:34,949 I am Glamour and this is my delightful assistant, Illusion. 268 00:18:35,032 --> 00:18:39,328 I am Glamour and he's Illusion. 269 00:18:40,913 --> 00:18:42,414 Yeah, what she said. 270 00:18:42,498 --> 00:18:48,629 Today, we will lie to you and yet you will believe our little deceptions 271 00:18:48,712 --> 00:18:50,548 because human beings are easily fooled 272 00:18:50,631 --> 00:18:54,677 due to their limited understanding of the inner workings of the universe. 273 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:56,136 Flourish! 274 00:18:56,220 --> 00:18:58,264 You just do it, you don't say it out loud, honey. 275 00:18:59,557 --> 00:19:03,394 And now my wife and I will delight 276 00:19:03,477 --> 00:19:06,105 in your dumbstruck little faces. 277 00:19:07,523 --> 00:19:08,774 Flourish! 278 00:19:23,414 --> 00:19:26,000 Ha! See there? He's using a rope. 279 00:19:26,083 --> 00:19:30,337 Wanda, what's... Oh, no! Oh! No! Wanda, please! 280 00:19:30,421 --> 00:19:33,173 - Darling, let me down! - Oh! 281 00:19:33,257 --> 00:19:37,011 - I'm feeling pukey! 282 00:19:37,094 --> 00:19:38,429 Ooh! 283 00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:43,601 Uh, what's next? 284 00:19:43,684 --> 00:19:46,937 Oh! Yeah, this is... This is gonna be great! 285 00:19:47,897 --> 00:19:50,107 A staggering feat of strength. 286 00:19:56,655 --> 00:19:59,074 - Ah? - Illusion... Uh... Uh... 287 00:20:00,201 --> 00:20:04,872 - Illusion, Master of Enigma, allow me. - Yeah? 288 00:20:04,955 --> 00:20:07,291 - What? 289 00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,752 -Oh! 290 00:20:11,128 --> 00:20:14,298 Whoops! You weren't supposed to see how we did that trick. 291 00:20:16,091 --> 00:20:18,302 That was my grandmother's piano. 292 00:20:18,928 --> 00:20:23,349 Oh, Sherbert! Yeah, this is my old mate, Sherbert. 293 00:20:23,432 --> 00:20:25,768 Stand up, Sherbert. Say hello to the crowd. 294 00:20:25,851 --> 00:20:27,436 It's Herbert, Herb. 295 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:31,524 Pipe down, Sherbie, and pick a card. Any card. 296 00:20:31,607 --> 00:20:34,068 Yeah, put it back in the deck. 297 00:20:34,151 --> 00:20:37,238 I'm not looking. All right. Watch this. 298 00:20:39,865 --> 00:20:40,991 Is this your card? 299 00:20:41,784 --> 00:20:43,536 Uh, no. 300 00:20:44,370 --> 00:20:45,746 I beg to differ. 301 00:20:45,829 --> 00:20:46,914 Mmm-mmm. 302 00:20:46,997 --> 00:20:49,667 Really? Is this your card? 303 00:20:49,750 --> 00:20:51,877 - Vision... - Mmm-mmm. 304 00:20:53,045 --> 00:20:56,257 Is this your card? Is this your card? Is this your card? Is this your card? 305 00:20:56,340 --> 00:20:59,468 - Is this your card? - Mmm-mmm. 306 00:20:59,552 --> 00:21:01,512 Argh! Is this your card? Is this your card? 307 00:21:01,595 --> 00:21:02,805 - No. No. No. No. - Is this your card? 308 00:21:02,888 --> 00:21:05,933 Is this your card? Is this your card? Is this your card? Is this your card? 309 00:21:06,016 --> 00:21:07,226 Is this your card? 310 00:21:07,309 --> 00:21:08,519 Oh, it is! 311 00:21:08,602 --> 00:21:09,687 It is what? 312 00:21:09,770 --> 00:21:10,938 It's my card. 313 00:21:11,564 --> 00:21:14,358 Well, pardon me, Herb. Have it back. 314 00:21:15,609 --> 00:21:16,944 Oh, no, you did the trick right. 315 00:21:17,027 --> 00:21:19,572 Well, of course I did the trick right! I'm Illusion! 316 00:21:19,655 --> 00:21:21,574 Flourish! 317 00:21:25,035 --> 00:21:26,912 And now, for my next trick... 318 00:21:26,996 --> 00:21:28,622 Oh, goodness me. 319 00:21:29,415 --> 00:21:30,958 Who stole my hat? 320 00:21:31,041 --> 00:21:32,960 Oh! Oh, stop that rabbit! 321 00:21:33,043 --> 00:21:35,337 I gotta need to pull a hat out of it. 322 00:21:36,630 --> 00:21:39,967 Señor Scratchy's got real star quality, don't you think? 323 00:21:40,050 --> 00:21:43,512 Maybe we leave the poor bunny out this one, shall we? 324 00:21:43,596 --> 00:21:46,307 Well then, I will just have to pull this hat... 325 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,393 out of myself. 326 00:21:51,896 --> 00:21:53,022 Vision, no. 327 00:21:53,105 --> 00:21:54,481 I'm doin' it. 328 00:21:56,817 --> 00:21:58,611 Ah-ha! 329 00:22:01,739 --> 00:22:05,367 - If only you all knew our secret. 330 00:22:06,327 --> 00:22:08,871 - Oh! 331 00:22:08,954 --> 00:22:10,831 Is that how mirrors work? 332 00:22:10,915 --> 00:22:12,166 Shut up, Bev. 333 00:22:13,667 --> 00:22:17,713 And now, ladies and gentlemen, for our grand finale. 334 00:22:18,464 --> 00:22:22,843 I bring you, The Magnet of Crysteries! 335 00:22:22,927 --> 00:22:24,303 The Cabinet of Mysteries! 336 00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:26,722 Yeah, yeah. What she said. 337 00:22:28,307 --> 00:22:30,434 I will now make my wife... 338 00:22:32,269 --> 00:22:33,479 disappear. 339 00:22:35,606 --> 00:22:40,486 Are you sure you don't want an audience volunteer named "My husband Ralph?" 340 00:22:46,033 --> 00:22:47,993 No. Abracadabra! 341 00:22:50,746 --> 00:22:53,332 - Uh, sweetheart? - Yeah? 342 00:22:54,416 --> 00:22:56,168 - Hi. - Oh. 343 00:22:58,712 --> 00:23:00,089 What's in the box? 344 00:23:00,172 --> 00:23:03,759 What's in the box? What's in the box? What's in the box? 345 00:23:03,843 --> 00:23:05,678 Yeah, what's in the box? 346 00:23:05,761 --> 00:23:07,930 What's in the box? What's in the box? 347 00:23:08,013 --> 00:23:11,141 What's in the box? What's in the box? 348 00:23:17,940 --> 00:23:18,983 Oh! 349 00:23:19,984 --> 00:23:21,193 Oh, yes! 350 00:23:21,277 --> 00:23:22,361 Flourish. 351 00:23:29,702 --> 00:23:31,203 Let's get outta here. 352 00:23:32,037 --> 00:23:33,747 Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. 353 00:23:33,831 --> 00:23:35,583 - I'm so stupid. - Vis? Vis, it's all right. 354 00:23:35,666 --> 00:23:37,376 It's all right. It's all right. It's all right. 355 00:23:37,459 --> 00:23:38,794 But what is going on with you? 356 00:23:38,878 --> 00:23:42,923 I have no idea. I've been feeling weirdy all day. 357 00:23:43,007 --> 00:23:44,675 Okay. Okay. Okay. 358 00:23:45,426 --> 00:23:47,845 -Oh! 359 00:23:56,979 --> 00:23:59,398 Would you look at that? 360 00:23:59,481 --> 00:24:01,650 That really gummed up my works, didn't it? 361 00:24:01,734 --> 00:24:03,360 Hmm. 362 00:24:05,029 --> 00:24:07,531 I'm not as funny without it, am I? 363 00:24:07,615 --> 00:24:10,284 Well, you're back to yourself and that's all I care about. 364 00:24:10,367 --> 00:24:12,411 Now, let's get out of here before Dottie 365 00:24:12,494 --> 00:24:15,956 and the planning committee string us up for ruining the show. 366 00:24:24,298 --> 00:24:26,926 You two, stop right there. 367 00:24:30,804 --> 00:24:34,099 Nothing like what you two just did up here 368 00:24:34,183 --> 00:24:37,895 has ever happened in the history of our talent show. 369 00:24:39,021 --> 00:24:42,483 Dottie, we are so... 370 00:24:42,566 --> 00:24:43,692 Hilarious. 371 00:24:46,695 --> 00:24:50,115 That was the most hilarious act we've ever seen. 372 00:24:50,199 --> 00:24:51,450 Wouldn't you all agree? 373 00:24:52,201 --> 00:24:53,369 Yeah. 374 00:24:55,538 --> 00:24:57,331 Oh, yes. 375 00:24:57,998 --> 00:24:59,792 You two, come on up. Come on. 376 00:25:02,419 --> 00:25:05,172 On behalf of the planning committee, 377 00:25:05,256 --> 00:25:06,465 I would like to award you 378 00:25:06,549 --> 00:25:10,553 with the inaugural Comedy Performance of the Year. 379 00:25:10,636 --> 00:25:12,054 Oh, thank you. 380 00:25:28,070 --> 00:25:29,613 - I have to ask. - Hmm. 381 00:25:29,697 --> 00:25:34,034 One second, I'm backstage and in the next, I'm in a dark cubby hole. 382 00:25:34,118 --> 00:25:35,411 How'd you do it? 383 00:25:35,494 --> 00:25:37,538 Oh, a magician never reveals his secrets. 384 00:25:37,621 --> 00:25:39,331 He leaves that to his assistant. 385 00:25:39,415 --> 00:25:41,000 And she's not talking. 386 00:25:42,251 --> 00:25:45,170 I had a feeling you'd say that. 387 00:25:49,175 --> 00:25:50,259 "For the children!" 388 00:25:50,342 --> 00:25:52,553 "For the children!" 389 00:25:58,767 --> 00:26:00,936 You were tremendous, Glamour. 390 00:26:06,567 --> 00:26:08,903 I don't know what I was so worried about. 391 00:26:08,986 --> 00:26:12,406 It wasn't so hard to fit in after all. 392 00:26:12,489 --> 00:26:15,409 And all we had to do was be ourselves. 393 00:26:15,492 --> 00:26:17,870 Well, with a few modifications. 394 00:26:18,495 --> 00:26:21,707 - And it was all for the children. - For the children. 395 00:26:22,541 --> 00:26:25,002 Well, I think the children might need some popcorn. 396 00:26:26,378 --> 00:26:27,463 Wanda. 397 00:26:27,546 --> 00:26:28,714 Hmm, what? 398 00:26:33,427 --> 00:26:36,805 Vision... Is this really happening? 399 00:26:39,934 --> 00:26:41,477 Yes, my love. 400 00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:43,270 It's really happening. 401 00:26:45,606 --> 00:26:50,736 If it's that damn tree again, I am going to rip it out by the roots! 402 00:26:58,077 --> 00:26:59,703 I don't see anything. 403 00:27:11,924 --> 00:27:13,133 What is that? 404 00:27:20,641 --> 00:27:22,226 Wanda. 405 00:27:36,949 --> 00:27:38,200 No. 406 00:27:47,209 --> 00:27:51,714 Vision... Is this really happening? 407 00:27:53,424 --> 00:27:54,884 Yes, my love. 408 00:27:56,385 --> 00:27:58,012 It's really happening. 409 00:28:11,275 --> 00:28:12,276 Vision... 410 00:28:45,684 --> 00:28:48,896 Wanda? Who's doing this to you, Wanda? 411 00:28:49,605 --> 00:28:50,648 Wanda? 29866

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