All language subtitles for Stephen.Colbert.2025.03.04.Pete.Buttigieg.1080p.HEVC.x265-MeGusta[EZTVx.to].eng

♪ ♪
♪ IT'S TIME FOR MAGA MANIACS ♪

♪ FEDERAL WORKERS GET THE ACTS ♪
♪

Announcer: IT'S

"THE LATE SHOW LIVE
WITH STEPHEN COLBERT!"

TONIGHT...
TRASH TALK!

PLUS, STEPHEN WELCOMES
LIVE FORMER TRANSPORTATION

SECRETARY PETE BUTTIGIEG!
FEATURING LIVE LOUIS CATO

AND "THE LATE SHOW" BAND!
AND NOW, LIVE FROM THE

ED SULLIVAN THEATER
IN NEW YORK CITY,

IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Stephen: HELLO!
HELLO, MY FRIENDS!

OH!
PLEASE HAVE A SEAT RIGHT OVER

THERE.
HELLO!

♪ ♪
HELLO, MY FRIENDS.

HAPPY TUESDAY.
TUESDAY.

THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, MY FRIENDS.

GOOD TO SEE YOU, MY FRIENDS,
HELLO, YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE.

DOWN HERE, UP THERE.
OH, OH, MY FRIENDS, HOW ARE WE

DOING?
PLEASE HAVE A SEAT.

WELCOME.
OH, THAT IS LOVELY.

THAT IS LOVELY.
YOU CAN FEEL THE ELECTRICITY IN

THIS ROOM TONIGHT.
[CHEERING]

BECAUSE WE ARE LIVE
RIGHT THERE!

LOUIS, THIS IS NOT JUST ANY LIVE
AUDIENCE.

THIS IS A LIVE MARDI GRAS
AUDIENCE RIGHT NOW!

AND IT IS SO FITTING BECAUSE
JUST LIKE ON BOURBON STREET,

TONIGHT WE ALL GOT TO SEE SOME
BOOBS.

[LAUGHTER]
WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO THROW ANY

BEADS.
I'VE STILL GOT ALL MY BEADS.

THE THEME OF TONIGHT'S SPEECH
WAS "THE RENEWAL OF THE AMERICAN

DREAM."
YEAH, I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO

SIGN UP FOR THE RENEWAL.
UH, CAN'T I JUST USE A DIFFERENT

EMAIL TO GET ANOTHER FREE TRIAL?
THERE HAD BEEN RUMORS THAT ELON

MUSK WOULD BE AT TRUMP'S SPEECH,
BUT APPARENTLY HE WAS HANGING

OUT EVEN EARLIER BECAUSE HE
RODE IN THE MOTORCADE FROM THE

WHITE HOUSE WITH TRUMP
AND MELANIA.

[BOOING]
NO, I DISAGREE.

I THINK IT'S IMPRESSIVE THAT
WITH ONLY THREE PEOPLE,

IT CAN STILL BE A CLOWN CAR.
MANY WOMEN ON THE DEMOCRATIC

SIDE SHOWED UP DRESSED IN
FUCHSIA.

IT'S THE KIND OF BOLD PROTEST
THAT SAYS "THIS IS A TEST PRINT

AND YOUR MAGENTA CARTRIDGE
IS WORKING."

IN ADDITION TO THE OUTFITS, THE
DEMOCRATS CAME PREPARED TO STAND

UP TO AUTHORITARIANISM WITH
A WIDE ARRAY OF PROPS, INCLUDING

A WHITE BOARD
AND POCKET CONSTITUTIONS.

THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS HOW YOU
STOP FASCISM.

IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF
MARTIN NIEMOLLER,

"FIRST, THEY CAME FOR THE
TRADE UNIONISTS, AND I

PULLED OUT A PINK BLAZER
AND A MIMEOGRAPH.

TAKE THAT, ADOLF!"
PUT 'EM UP!

I GOT A RUBBER CHICKEN
IN HERE SOMEPLACE

AND SOME CHATTERING TEETH.
THEN, IT WAS TIME FOR TRUMP'S

ENTRANCE, AND WHEN THE CAMERAS
CUT TO MELANIA, SHE GAVE HIM HER

WARMEST WELCOME.
"NO!

OH, NO.
HE CAN'T HAVE ESCAPED!

THE WITCH PROMISED ME
THE AMULET WOULD WORK!"

PRESIDENT TRUMP TOOK TO THE
PODIUM AND IMMEDIATELY PREDICTED

A BRIGHT FUTURE FOR HIS
ADMINISTRATION.

AMERICA'S MOMENTUM IS BACK.
OUR SPIRIT IS BACK.

OUR PRIDE IS BACK.
OUR CONFIDENCE IS BACK.

AND THE AMERICAN DREAM IS
SURGING BIGGER AND BETTER THAN

EVER BEFORE.
Stephen: "THAT DREAM?

AN AFFORDABLE DENVER OMELETTE.
WE'LL GET THERE ONE DAY.

SIDE OF TOAST.
THE DENNY'S GRAND SLAM, AS&

LINCOLN CALLED IT."
THEN, JUST MINUTES INTO THE

SPEECH, ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE.
DEMOCRATS STARTED BOOING.

SPEAKER MIKE JOHNSON
THREATENED THEM WITH EXPULSION

IF THEY DIDN'T SIT DOWN
AND ULTIMATELY, JOHNSON CALLED

IN THE SERGEANT AT ARMS TO
REMOVE 77 YEAR OLD

TEXAS CONGRESSMAN AL GREEN.
SOME PEOPLE QUESTIONED WHY

SO MUCH MUSCLE WAS NEEDED
TO REMOVE AN OLD MAN

WITH A CANE.
BUT IT TURNS OUT IT WAS

FOR A SERIOUS REASON.
WHEN SECURITY SEARCHED HIM,

THEY FOUND THAT HE SMUGGLED IN
A SPINE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
YEAH.

IT'S DANGEROUS.
YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT.

YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT.
AFTER THE INTERRUPTION, TRUMP

WHINED ABOUT THE OPPOSITION.
ONCE AGAIN, I LOOK AT

THE DEMOCRATS IN FRONT OF ME.
AND I REALIZE THERE IS

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING I CAN SAY TO
MAKE THEM HAPPY OR TO MAKE THEM

STAND OR SMILE OR APPLAUD.
NOTHING I CAN DO.

Stpehen: OH, I DON'T KNOW.
TRY SAYING, "I RESIGN."

[CHEERING]
YOU MIGHT GET A--

YOU MIGHT GET A...
A...

THERE YOU GO.
PEOPLE IN HERE SEEM HAPPY.

TRUMP TRIED TO BRAG ABOUT WHAT
HE CALLS HIS ACCOMPLISHMENTS.

I STOPPED ALL GOVERNMENT
CENSORSHIP AND BROUGHT BACK

FREE SPEECH IN AMERICA.
IT'S BACK.

Stephen: OH, THANK
GOODNESS.

SOME OF THE GO TELL CONGRESSMAN
GREENE.

JUST KNOCK ON THE SIDE OF THAT
WINDOWLESS VAN THEY SHOVED HIM

INTO.
TELL HIM TO BRING HIS CANE.

TRUMP BRAGGED ABOUT EXCLUDING
MILLIONS OF AMERICANS WITH HIS

DUMB EXECUTIVE ORDERS.
TWO DAYS AGO, I SIGNED

AN ORDER MAKING ENGLISH
THE OFFICIAL LANGUAGE OF

THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
Stephen: "AND OE DAY I HOPE

TO LEARN IT MYSELF."
IT'S A MUSICAL, BIRDLIKE TONGUE.

THE PRESIDENT, OUR PRESIDENT.
IT'S OUR PRESIDENT.

MADE SURE TO THROW OUT
ALL HIS FAVORITE NONSENSE

BUZZWORDS.
OUR COUNTRY WILL BE

WOKE NO LONGER T=:04
Stephen: "NO LONGER WOKE.

I'M PLACING A PILLOW OVER
THE COUNTRY'S FACE

AND WHISPERING
SLEEP, SLEEP.'

IT'LL ALL BE OVER SOON."
TRUMP BRAGGED ON.

THE DAYS OF RULE BY
UNELECTED BUREAUCRATS ARE OVER.

Stephen: "IN THE DAYS OF
RULE BY UNELECTED BILLIONAIRES

HAVE JUST BEGUN.
TAKE ANOTHER BOW, ELON!

HE PAID FOR IT!"
THE MAN BARKED OUT ONE APPALLING

CLAIM AFTER ANOTHER.
BUT DON'T YOU WORRY.

THE DEMOCRATS CAME READY TO
FIGHT BACK WITH THEIR

LITTLE PADDLES!
THAT IS HOW YOU SAVE DEMOCRACY.

BY QUIETLY DISSENTING...
OR BIDDING ON AN ANTIQUE

TEA SET.
IT WAS HARD TO TELL WHAT WAS

GOING ON.
I'M JUST KIDDING.

THAT WAS VERY COOL, DEMOCRATS.
IN FACT, I MADE MY OWN SIGN.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WHEN TRUMP GOT TO BRAGGING ABOUT

THE CUTS AND THE SLASHES
AND THE FIRINGS THAT DOGE HAS

MADE IN USAID, HE HAD
A HARD TIME PRONOUNCING EVERY

COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.
IN MALI,

OOGANDA,
"LESOO-TOE,"

WHICH NOBODY HAS EVER HEARD OF
Stephen: IT'S TRUE.

ALL THOSE FAKE COUNTRIES IN THE
IMAGINARY CONTINENT OF "OOF

"OOFRICA."
IT'S RIGHT NEXT TO COME UP NEXT

TO AFRICA.
IT GOES OP.

THAT'S NOT GOOD, OKAY?
IS NOT GOOD THAT HE CAN'T DO

THAT BUT LET'S TAKE A MOMENT TO
BE THANKFUL HE DIDN'T TRY TO

PRONOUNCE NIGER.
THAT'S WHY I'M THANKFUL.

THEN TRUMP WENT ON A LONG
TANGENT ABOUT SOCIAL SECURITY,

DATABASE ISSUE THAT'S ARTIE BEEN
DEBUNKED BY MULTIPLE SOURCES,

NONE OF IT IS TRUE.
BASICALLY BECAUSE OF HOW THE

DATABASE IS CODED FOR
SOCIAL SECURITY, ANY INCOMPLETE

BIRTHDATE DEFAULTS TO A
PLACEHOLDER DATE IN THE 1800s

SPECIFICALLY CHOSEN SO NO IDIOTS
WOULD MISTAKE IT FOR A REAL

BIRTHDATE.
WELL, ALMOST NO IDIOTS.

OVER 130,000 PEOPLE,
ACCORDING TO THE SOCIAL SECURITY

DATABASES ARE AGE OVER 160 YEARS
OLD.

Stephen: AND ALL OF THEM ARE
IN THE U.S. SENATE.

[APPLAUSE]
TRUMP TRIED BRAGGING ABOUT HIS

TARIFFS THAT EVERYONE HATES.
MEXICO AND CANADA,

HAVE YOU HEARD OF THEM?
Stephen: NO.

NO I HAVEN'T.
DO YOU MEAN "MOOX-ICKEE"

AND "CANABLA?"
TRUMP GAVE A SHOUT OUT TO SOME

OF HIS BIGGEST SUPPORTERS.
I LOVE THE FARMER.

Stephen: I LOVE THE FARMER.
HE TELLS IN WITH THE COW SAYS

WHEN I SPIN THE LITTLE ARROW.
HE'S ALWAYS THERE FOR ME.

HELLO, FARMER.
HOW THEY FIT HIM IN THE THING, I

DON'T KNOW.
SORRY, SIR, YOU WERE PANDERING

TO FARMERS?
OUR FARMERS ARE GOING TO HAVE

A FIELD DAY.
Stephen: WHEN YOU'RE A

FARMER, TECHNICALLY ISN'T EVERY
DAY FIELD DAY?

AT ONE POINT, TRUMP TALKED ABOUT
A BILL RELATING TO ONLINE

DEEPFAKE HARASSMENT,
AND OF COURSE, HE MADE IT

ABOUT HIMSELF.
ONCE IT PASSES THE HOUSE, I

LOOK FORWARD TO SIGNING THAT
BILL INTO LAW.

THANK YOU.
AND I'M GOING TO USE THAT BILL

FOR MYSELF TOO, IF YOU DON'T
MIND.

BECAUSE NOBODY GETS TREATED
WORSE THAN I DO ONLINE.

NOBODY.
Stephen: OH, I'M NOT SURE

THAT'S TRUE.
HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT PEOPLE

ARE DOING TO
J.D. VANCE?

NO.
I WANT TO POINT OUT, THOSE

PICTURES OF JDR WRONG, OKAY?
YOU COULD TELL THEY ARE WRONG

BECAUSE THEY ARE HILARIOUS.
TRUMP BEGGED ABOUT HIS EXECUTIVE

ORDERS ON IMMIGRATION.
THE MEDIA AND OUR FRIENDS THE

DEMOCRAT PARTY KEPT SAYING WE
NEEDED NEW LEGISLATION, WE MUST

HAVE LEGISLATION TO SECURE THE
BORDER.

BUT IT TURNED OUT THAT ALL WE
REALLY NEEDED WAS A NEW

PRESIDENT.
[APPLAUSE]

Stephen: I GET THAT HE'S YOUR
GUY, BUT ISN'T IT WEIRD

FOR MEMBERS OF CONGRESS TO
APPLAUD HIM

TAKING ALL THEIR POWER AWAY?
"WHOOOOO!

WE'RE WORTHLESS WORMS!
CHOKE US, DADDY!"

YEAH.
I AM HIP.

I KNOW WHAT GOES ON.
THEN, THERE WAS A LONG RUN

WHERE HE ACKNOWLEDGED GUESTS
IN THE GALLERY,

THE SPECIAL GUESTS HE HAD
BROUGHT THERE.

AVERAGE AMERICANS, MANY OF WHOM
HAD TRAGIC STORIES.

BUT THERE WAS AN UNEXPECTED
MOMENT OF JOY FOR ONE LITTLE BOY

WHO DREAMED OF BEING A POLIC
POLICEMAN.

TONIGHT, D.J., WE ARE GOING
TO DO YOU THE BIGGEST HONOR OF

THEM ALL.
I'M ASKING OUR NEW SECRET

SERVICE DIRECTOR SEAN CURRAN TO
OFFICIALLY MAKE YOU AN AGENT OF

THE UNITED STATES SECRET
SECRET SERVICE.

Stephen: THAT WAS REALLY
BEAUTIFUL WASN'T IT!

AND I LOVE THE EXPRESSION
ON THE BOY'S FACE WHEN HE HEARD

WHAT THE PRESIDENT SAID.
I HAD THE EXACT SAME EXPRESSION

FOR ALMOST THE ENTIRE SPEECH.
[APPLAUSE]

THEN WE REACHED THE TRANSPHOBIC
PART OF THE SPEECH, WHERE THE

PRESIDENT MADE THIS PARADOXICAL
STATEMENT.

OUR MESSAGE TO EVERY
CHILD IS THAT YOU ARE PERFECT

EXACTLY THE WAY GOD MADE YOU.
Stephen: "UNLESS GOD MADE YOU

TRANSGENDER OR FROM THE MAGICAL
LAND OF LEE-SOOTO."

TOUGH LUCK!
TOUGH LUCK BEING IMAGINERY.

TRUMP TOOK THE OPPORTUNITY TO
SHOUT OUT HIS NEW SECRETARY OF

DEFENSE.
AND PETE, CONGRATULATIONS.

SECRETARY OF DEFENSE.
HE'S NOT BIG INTO THE WOKE

MOVEMENT.
Stephen: OH, WE KNOW.

RUMOR IS HE OFTEN DRINKS UNTIL
HE CAN'T STAY A-WOKE.

I WOKE UP.
AND THEN FOR REASONS

THAT ESCAPE ME, HE TALKED ABOUT
BRINGING BACK AMERICA'S

SHIPBUILDING INDUSTRY?
I AM ANNOUNCING TONIGHT WILL

CREATE A NEW OFFICE OF
SHIPBUILDING IN THE WHITE HOUSE.

Stephen: THAT CHECKS OUT.
I'VE SEEN YOUR CABINET.

THERE ARE PIECES OF SHIP ALL
OVER THE WHITE HOUSE THESE DAYS.

[APPLAUSE]
"AND WE WILL BUILD THE SHIPS AND

PUT THEM INTO ENORMOUS BOTTLES
ON THE BOTTLES WILL GO ON THE

WHITE HOUSE MANTLE AND WE WILL
TELL THE CHILDREN THIS IS ART,

NOT TWICE.
DO NOT TOUCH."

AT LAST, TRUMP GOT TO HIS
WRAP-UP.

BECAUSE WE ARE A COUNTRY OF
DOERS, DREAMERS, FIGHTERS,

SURVIVORS.
"WE ARE PICKERS.

WE ARE GRINNERS.
WE ARE LOVERS AND WE ARE

SINNERS.
WE'RE JOKERS,

WE'RE SMOKERS AND, OCCASIONALLY,
WE'RE MIDNIGHT TOKERS.

LOOKING AT YOU, ELON.
LOOKING AT YOU, ELON.

TAKE A BOW."
YOU TOO, HEGSETH.

SOMEBODY WAKE UP HEGSETH."
SO, THERE YOU GO.

ANOTHER 2 HOURS WE'LL
NEVER GET BACK.

I'D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO
OUR AUDIENCE FOR MAKING THEM

WATCH IT.
THAT'S TIME YOU COULD HAVE SPENT

WITH YOUR FAMILY
NOT EATING EGGS.

IN THE END, TRUMP'S FIRST
ADDRESS TO CONGRESS WAS MUCH

LIKE HIS FIRST SIX WEEKS:
FILLED WITH USEFUL LIES,

AND APPLAUDED BY USELESS IDIOTS.
WE'VE GOT A GREAT LIVE SHOW

FOR YOU TONIGHT!
MY GUEST IS FORMER

TRANSPORTATION SECRETARY
PETE BUTTIGIEG.

BUT WHEN WE COME BACK,
IT'S "MEANWHILE" BABY!

AND IT'S LIVE.

JOIN US, WON'T YOU?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Stephen: GIVE IT UP FOR

LOUIS CATO AND "THE LATE SHOW"
BAND, EVERYBODY.

THERE YOU GO.
I GOT HERE, LOUIS, RIGHT HERE,

I'M SORRY THE CAMERA CAUGHT ME
STARTING BECAUSE I VERY EXCITED

ABOUT TONIGHT'S GUEST.
FORMER SECRETARY OF

TRANSPORTATION PETE BUTTIGIEG
WILL BE HERE I WAS GOING OVER MY

IT'S GOING TO BE FUN.

FOLKS, IF YOU WATCH THE SHOW
YOU KNOW I SPEND MOST OF MY

TIME RIGHT OVER THERE TALKING
ABOUT A LOT OF STUFF THAT'S

SUPER COMPLICATED AND OFTEN BAD.
BUT SOMETIMES,

I LIKE TO COME OVER HERE AND
TALK ABOUT STUFF THAT'S SUPER

STUPID AND OFTEN FUN
IN MY SEGMENT...

♪ ♪
"MEANWHILE"!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Stephen: IT'S A BEACON IN

THE DARK.
IT'S A LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS,

MEANWHILE.
MEANWHILE, FOLLOWING THE DEBUT

OF SEASON 3,
"WHITE LOTUS FANS ARE NOW

FLOCKING TO THE FOUR SEASONS
AND ANAN-TARA RESORTS IN

THAILAND AND UPGRADING TO
$10,000 SUITES

TO MIMIC THE SHOW."
OF COURSE, IF THEY WERE TRUE

FANS, THEY WOULD UPGRADE TO
GETTING MURDERED IN A CABANA.

MURDERED IN A CABANA.
HOTEL MANAGERS REPORT THAT

GUESTS ARE SPENDING WILDLY
IN AN ATTEMPT TO CREATE

WHITE LOTUS MOMENTS OF THEIR
OWN.

WHAT?
TO BE MORE LIKE THE

HORRIBLE RICH VILLAINS
OF THE SHOW?

TALK ABOUT MISSING THE POINT.
THAT'S LIKE WATCHING

"GAME OF THRONES" AND THINKING
"ACTUALLY, MY SISTER'S

KINDA HOT."
MEANWHILE, A NEW STUDY HAS FOUND

THAT MARRIED MEN ARE DOING MORE
CLEANING AND LAUNDRY

THAN IN THE PAST.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

BOOM.
GREAT NEWS FOR MARRIAGES.

TERRIBLE NEWS FOR BRAS.
YOU KNOW KEVIN IS PUTTING THAT

DELICATE LACE ON THE TOWEL
SETTING WITH HIS SNEAKERS

AND A TENNIS BALL IN THERE.
MEANWHILE, IN INDIA, A MAN

HAS BEEN AWARDED DAMAGES OVER
THE LENGTH OF COMMERCIALS BEFORE

HIS MOVIE SCREENING.
INTERESTING.

AND YET WHEN I SUE OVER THE
LENGTH OF "THE BRUTALIST,"

I'M TOLD I "HATE ART"
AND "HAVE THE BLADDER

OF A MUCH OLDER MAN."
HE IS GOOD.

VERY GOOD.
MEANWHILE, IN IDENTITY MIX-UP

NEWS, POLICE IN AVON,
IT

MASSACHUSETTS, HAVE DETERMINED
THAT A REPORTED BEAR SIGHTING

WAS MOST LIKELY A RACCOON.
WHEW, WHAT A RELIEF.

"YOU CAN RELAX, KIDS.
I WAS MISTAKEN.

YOUR FATHER WAS EATEN BY
A RACCOON."

APPARENTLY A TOWN RESIDENT
CALLED IN THE SIGHTING,

BUT WHEN AUTHORITIES ARRIVED,
ANOTHER INDIVIDUAL IN THE AREA

SAID "THAT WASN'T A BEAR,
IT WAS A RACCOON."

SOUNDS TO ME LIKE THAT
"INDIVIDUAL"

MIGHT HAVE BEEN THE BEAR.
"YEAH, NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

THAT WAS TOTALLY JUST RACCOON.
HEY, I ACCIDENTALLY LEFT MY KEYS

IN MY OTHER FUR.
ANY CHANCE YOU CAN LET ME INTO

MY MAN-HOUSE SO I CAN EAT
ALL MY MAN-GARBAGE?"

MEANWHILE,
DIDN'T KNOW I DID IMPRESSIONS,

DID YOU?
MEANWHILE, JAPAN.

ACCORDING TO YOUR INSTAGRAM
STORIES, IT'S WHERE ALL YOUR

FRIENDS ARE NOW FOR SOME REASON.
IT'S ALSO WHERE

THEY'VE DESIGNATED THIS
"THE WORLD'S SMALLEST PARK"

WHICH THEY SAY QUALIFIES
AS A PARK BECAUSE IT HAS

A STOOL MADE UP OF A BLOCK OF
WOOD HELD UP BY A ROCK,

WITH A LITTLE BUSH.
THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT A PARK!

THAT'S LIKE DECORATING
A SANDWICH WITH A LITTLE

TOOTHPICK FLAG AND SAYING
"WELCOME TO THE INDEPENDENT

NATION OF TURKEY CLUB."
MEANWHILE, JEFF BEZOS

IS SENDING KATY PERRY TO SPACE.
OH, COME ON!

HER LAST ALBUM WASN'T
THAT BAD!

KATY.
KATY WON'T BE ALONE.

SHE'LL BE JOININ A CREW
THAT INCLUDES

BEZOS' GIRLFRIEND
LAUREN SANCHEZ.

WELL, THAT IS ONE SUBTLE WAY
TO HIT PAUSE

ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
"HONEY, WE JUST NEED

A LITTLE BREAK.
I THINK IT WOULD BE BEST

IF YOU LEAVE IN
3, 2, 1."

MEANWHILE, AS PART OF A NEW
SWEEPSTAKES, "M&M'S WILL LET YOU

HAVE A SLEEPOVER AT
THEIR TIMES SQUARE STORE."

THE SLEEPOVER WILL BE FOR ONE
LUCKY WINNER AND FOUR FRIENDS,

BUT THEY WON'T BE ALONE,
'CAUSE THEY'LL ALSO GET TO

HANG OUT WITH A
"SPOKESCANDY" DURING THEIR STAY.

JUST WHAT EVERY INTIMATE
SLEEPOVER NEEDS:

A RANDOM GUY IN A MASCOT
COSTUME.

"HEY, HEY, HEY.
HEY, WHAT'S UP?

WHAT IS UP?
I'M THE RED M&M.

KINDA THE COOL BAD BOY
OF THE GROUP.

ANYBODY WANNA SEE MY PEANUT?"
LADIES?

MEANWHILE, ON THE PGA TOUR,
A GOLFER CHASED A GATOR OFF

THE COURSE DURING A TOURNAMENT.
HERE HE IS APPROACHING THE

GATOR, HE POKES AT IT,
AND OFF IT GOES, AFTER WHICH THE

GOLFER SAID,
"I'M NOT AFRAID OF GATORS.

LISTEN, AS I TELL MOST PEOPLE,
THEY'RE MORE AFRAID OF YOU."

HOLD UP, YOU TELL THAT TO MOST
PEOPLE?

THAT'S A LOT OF PEOPLE.
"YOU KNOW GATORS ARE MORE AFRAID

OF YOU THAN YOU ARE OF THEM."
"THANK YOU, SIR.

WELCOME TO STARBUCKS.
CAN I TAKE YOUR ORDER?"

MEANWHILE, IF YOU KNOW ME,
YOU KNOW I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING

DEVELOPMENTS AT
MILAN FASHION WEEK MOLTO

CLOSELY.
ESPECIALLY THE NEWS THAT FASHION

HOUSE DIESEL DEBUTED ITS
FALL/WINTER 2025 COLLECTION

FEATURING EGREGIOUSLY
LOW-CUT DENIM IN WHICH MODELS

BARED THEIR BUTT CRACKS.
OKAY, CALL ME OLD FASHIONED,

BUT I DO NOT THINK THE NAKED
BUTT-CRACK IS ACCEPTABLE IN

PUBLIC.
THAT'S WHY I ALWAYS ACCESSORIZE

WITH A
BUTT CORSAGE.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH PETE BUTTIGIEG!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,

WELCOME BACK!
OH, MY FRIENDS.

OH, MY FRIENDS.
MY GUEST TONIGHT IS THE FORMER

TRANSPORTATION SECRETARY
OF THE UNITED STATES.

PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO
"THE LATE SHOW,"

PETE BUTTIGIEG.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

♪ ♪
GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

Mr. Buttigieg: GOOD TO BE
BACK.

Stephen: I ALWAYS ENJOY
TALKING TO YOU BUT I'M

PARTICULARLY GRATEFUL FOR YOU
BEING HERE TONIGHT BECAUSE I

KNOW YOU HAVEN'T DONE THAT
INTERVIEW SINCE THE

INAUGURATION.
Mr. Buttigieg: YEAH.

NOT LIKE THIS.
Stephen: LET'S START, LET'S

JUST START HERE.
SECRETARY BUTTIGIEG, AT NO POINT

TO THE PRESIDENT TONIGHT SAY THE
STATE OF OUR UNION IS--

IN YOUR OPINION, WHAT IS THE
STATE OF OUR UNION?

Mr. Buttigieg: COMPLICATED.
Stephen: WELL, THANKS FOR

STOPPING BY.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.

HOW?
SIX WEEKS IN, WHAT HAS

COMPLICATED IT?
Mr. Buttigieg: I MEAN,

LOOK, THE STATE OF THE UNION IS
ROILING.

WE'VE GOT DIVISIONS THAT WE
DIDN'T THINK COULD GET ANY

WORSE, THAT HAVE BEEN PICKED AT
AND PUSHED OUT AGAIN AND AGAIN

BY THE PRESIDENT WHOSE JOB IS TO
UNITE THE AMERICAN PEOPLE WHO IS

SUPPOSED TO BE A WALKING SYMBOL
OF WHAT AMERICANS HAVE IN

COMMON.
INSTEAD OF COURSE WE HAVE

SOMETHING ELSE.
THE STATE OF THE UNION I THINK

IS REALLY CONFUSED ABOUT WHY OUR
LEADERS ARE TALKING ABOUT

RENAMING THINGS ON A MAP INSTEAD
OF GETTING THE PRICE OF EGGS

DOWN.
THE STATE OF THE UNION IS

WONDERING WHETHER WE CAN GET
THROUGH ANOTHER FOUR YEARS OF

BEING TURNED AGAINST EACH OTHER
BY OUR OWN LEADERS OR WHETHER WE

CAN BE SUMMONED INTO SOMETHING
BETTER.

Stephen: WHAT WAS YOUR
REACTION TO TONIGHT'S SPEECH?

THAT'S THE FIRST SIX WEEKS AND
WHERE WE ARE RIGHT NOW.

HOW ABOUT HOW HE SUMMED UP THE
STATE OF OUR NATION AND WHAT HIS

PLANS ARE.
IT WAS CLASSIC TRUMP.

IT WAS A LOT OF DARKNESS AND A
LOT OF DAZZLE.

BUT THERE WAS VERY, VERY LITTLE
ABOUT THE THINGS THAT MOST

AFFECT OUR LIVES.
I BELIEVE POLITICS IS ABOUT

EVERYDAY LIFE.
IT'S ABOUT WHAT GOVERNMENT CAN

AND MUST DO TO MAKE OUR EVERYDAY
LIVES BETTER.

THE BIGGEST ISSUE ON PEOPLE'S
MINDS, THE AFFORDABILITY OF

EVERYDAY LIFE, IT'S NOT
SOMETHING THAT GOT MORE THAN A

FEW SECONDS OF MENTION IN HIS
SPEECH.

NOR DID HE MENTION SOME OF THE
BIGGEST THINGS IN DOLLAR TERMS

THAT HE'S DOING.
I MEAN, OBJECTIVELY.

THE BIGGEST THING THAT HE'S
WORKING ON HIS TAX CUTS FOR THE

RICH.
$5 TRILLION MINIMUM.

NO MENTION IN HIS SPEECH THAT
WAS WHAT, TWO HOURS QUESTION

LIKE THE LONGEST OF ITS KIND
EVER.

RIGHT?
BUT IT'S ALWAYS LIKE THIS,

RIGHT?
THEY'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT

GREENLAND AND ABOUT PRONOUNS AND
ABOUT MICE NOT ABOUT WHAT'S

ACTUALLY GOING TO MAKE OUR LIVES
BETTER.

Stephen: GOING INTO THIS,
POLLS SHOWED THAT ABOUT 85%,

SIMILAR IN THE MID-80s, PEOPLE
WANTED HIM MOSTLY TO ADDRESS THE

ISSUES OF THE ECONOMY.
Mr. Buttigieg: YEAH.

Stephen: AND INFLATION.
AND THAT SOMEWHERE IN THE HIGH

20s, LOW 30s BELIEVED HE HAD
DONE ANYTHING TO ADDRESS THOSE

THINGS.
SO FAR.

SO, YOU KNOW, WHAT ARE THE
CONSEQUENCES OF A PRESIDENT WHO

PROMISES THAT DOESN'T SEEM TO
HAVE ANY PLAN?

Mr. Buttigieg: I THINK
DISAFFECTION, MISTRUST, AND I

THINK HE'S GOING TO CONTINUE TO
SLIDE IN TERMS OF POPULARITY.

LOOK, THERE'S A GOOD CHUNK OF
PEOPLE WHO VOTED FOR HIM EVEN

THOUGH THEY DIDN'T LIKE HIM
BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT MAYBE HE

WAS GOING TO MAKE THEM BETTER
OFF.

LET'S REMEMBER, DESPITE WHAT YOU
HEARD TONIGHT, HE CAME IN WITH

JUST UNDER 50% OF THE VOTE.
HE WON.

I'M NOT DISPUTING THAT.
BUT THE SMALLEST POPULAR VOTE

MARGIN SINCE NIXON.
I WONDER HOW HE FEELS ABOUT

SOMETHING THAT IMPORTANT BEING
THAT SMALL IN HIS CASE.

[APPLAUSE]
AND HE HAS LOST SUPPORT FROM

THERE.
AND HE WILL CONTINUE TO IF HE'S

NOT ADDRESSING OUR PROBLEMS.
Stephen: WOW.

TO BE SMALLER THAN TRICKY DICK
GIVES ONE PAUSE.

ANNOUNCING BROAD TARIFFS AGAINST
MEXICO, CANADA, AND CHINA.

AS TRUMP CALLED IT A LITTLE
DISTURBANCE.

HOW WILL IT AFFECT THE AVERAGE
AMERICAN.

Mr. Buttigieg: BY THE END
OF THIS WEEK, DEFTLY BY--

MAY BE TOMORROW BUT BY THE END
OF THIS WEEK, YOU'RE GOING TO

FIND THINGS ARE MORE EXPENSIVE
BECAUSE YOU ARE PAYING THIS TAX.

I MUST BE CLEAR.
THAT'S WHAT A TARIFF IS.

IT'S A TAX.
WHEN YOU LOOK AT YOUR RECEIPT,

THERE'S NOT GOING TO FILE A LIEN
ON THEIR THIS HAS TRUMP TAX,

EVEN THOUGH THAT'S WHAT IT IS.
WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO NOTICE IS

THE PRICES ON A LOT OF THINGS
ARE HIGHER.

AGAIN, THE WHOLE REASON A WHOLE
BUNCH OF PEOPLE VOTED FOR HIM

WAS THAT HE RAN AROUND TALKING A
GOOD GAME ABOUT HOW HE WAS GOING

TO LOWER PRICES.
THE DISSATISFACTION THAT ALL OF

THE WORK THE LAST ADMINISTRATION
DID TO LOWER PRICES DIDN'T KICK

IN FAST ENOUGH.
HE'S INCREASING PRICES ON

PURPOSE.
ON PURPOSE.

Stephen: WHAT POSSIBLE
REASON CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT IS?

Mr. Buttigieg: BECAUSE IT'S
PART OF THIS WORLDVIEW THAT'S

BASICALLY TELLING EVERYBODY
"WE'RE GOING TO GET YOU A BIGGER

SLICE OF A SMALLER PIE."
BUT HE DOESN'T REALLY CARE

WHETHER THAT COMES TRUE.
REMEMBER, FOR HIM, IT REALLY IS

A LITTLE DISTURBANCE.
IF EGGS ARE TEN BUCKS AND YOU'RE

A BILLIONAIRE, THAT'S A LITTLE
DISTURBANCE FOR YOU BUT NOT FOR

MOST PEOPLE.
[APPLAUSE]

Stephen: TELL YOU WHAT,
LET'S PAUSE RIGHT THERE.

I'M BEING TOLD WE HAVE TO GO TO
COMMERCIAL.

WE ARE LIVE.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE

PETE BUTTIGIEG.
STICK AROUND.

Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.

WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW."
SECRETARY PETE BUTTIGIEG.

OKAY, SECRETARY PERRYLET'S MOVE
ON TO FOREIGN POLICY.

WE TALKED ABOUT TARIFFS RIGHT
BEFORE THE BREAK.

THAT'S A FORM OF FOREIGN POLICY,
ECONOMIC FOREIGN POLICY.

WHAT IS THE STATE OF AMERICA'S
FOREIGN POLICY SIX WEEKS IN?

Mr. Buttigieg: UPSIDE DOWN.
EVERYBODY KNOWS THIS IS NOT AN

ABSTRACT ACADEMIC THEORY.
ONE OF THE BASIC IDEAS OF

FOREIGN POLICY AS YOU FIGHT YOUR
ENEMIES AND YOU HELP YOUR

FRIENDS.
CANADA IS OUR FRIEND.

[CHEERING]
RUSSIA IS OUR ADVERSARY.

AND HE'S GOT US FIGHTING CANADA
AND HELPING RUSSIA.

IT'S UPSIDE DOWN.
Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUT

THE MEETING ON FRIDAY IN THE
OVAL OFFICE WHEN THEY MET WI

WITH--
THEY MET WITH ZELENSKYY.

DIDN'T GO GREAT.
TRUMP HAS SUSPENDED ALL MILITARY

AID TO UKRAINE.
WHAT WENT THROUGH YOUR MIND AS

YOU ARE WATCHING THE QUESTION
MARK >> Mr. Buttigieg: I HAVE

THE OPPORTUNITY TO SIT DOWN WITH
ZELENSKYY WHEN I TRAVEL TO

UKRAINE AS SECRETARY TO TALK
ABOUT SOME OF THE WAYS U.S.

ASSISTANCE COULD MAKE A
DIFFERENCE IN HELPING THEM

REESTABLISH SUPPLY CHAINS AND
WORK TOWARD GETTING CIVIL

AVIATION BACK, ALL THE THINGS
THEY NEED TO HAVE A THRIVING

ECONOMY.
HE WAS SO FOCUSED AND ALSO SO

APPRECIATIVE OF THE RELATIONSHIP
BETWEEN THE U.S. AND UKRAINE.

THE THING THAT I SAW WHEN I WAS
THERE WAS THESE FOLKS ARE

FIGHTING FOR THEMSELVES.
THEY ARE FIGHTING FOR THEIR

LIVES.
THEY ARE FIGHTING FOR THEIR

DEMOCRACY IN A CERTAIN WAY THEY
ARE FIGHTING FOR US.

THEY ARE FIGHTING FOR ANY
FREEDOM-LOVING PEOPLE WHICH IS

WHY WE ARE THERE FOR THEM.
Stephen: LISTEN, I DON'T

ENGAGE IN INTERNATIONAL
DIPLOMACY.

SOME PEOPLE HAVE SAID ZELENSKYY
DIDN'T HANDLE THAT WELL, HE

SHOULDN'T HAVE RISEN TO THE
BAIT.

EVEN LINDSEY GRAHAM SAID TO HIM
AHEAD OF TIME, DON'T RISE TO THE

BAIT WHICH OF COURSE IMPLIES
LINDSEY KNEW THERE WAS GOING TO

BE BAIT.
SHOULD HE HAVE DONE SOMETHING

DIFFERENT?
Mr. Buttigieg: IT

DEFINITELY LOOKED TO A LOT OF US
LIKE A SET UP AND IF YOU THINK

ABOUT IT, LIKE MANY THINGS IN
THIS ADMINISTRATION, TOTALLY

SHOCKING AND TOTALLY
UNSURPRISING, ALL THEY DID WAS

KIND OF ACT OUT WHAT WE'VE ALL
BEEN EXPECTING WITCHES A PLAN ON

THE PART OF PRESIDENT TRUMP TO
SELL OUT UKRAINE TO RUSSIA.

WHAT FORM IT TAKES, WITH PETER
GOES AROUND IT, I THINK IT'S

SECONDARY TO THE POLICY AND
CLEARLY THIS IS POLICY.

Stephen: IF YOU STRIP IT
DOWN TO WHAT THEY WERE SAYING,

IT SEEMS LIKE THEY WERE THERE AS
ADVOCATES FOR VLADIMIR PUTIN.

Mr. Buttigieg: YEAH.
THERE ARE SOME MIND ABOUT HOW

PUTIN HAD TO SUFFER THROUGH THE
WHOLE THING WHERE WE NOTICED

THAT HE WAS MESSING WITH OUR
ELECTIONS, THAT THAT WAS REALLY

A MOMENT OF VICTIMIZING
VLADIMIR PUTIN.

WEIRD STUFF.
Stephen: LIKE TRUMP AND

PUTIN HAD BONDED IN SOME
BROTHERLY WAY.

Mr. Buttigieg: LOOK,
OBVIOUSLY THERE IS AN INFECTION

AND ADMIRATION THAT HE HAS FOR
AUTOCRATS AROUND THE WORLD,

INCLUDING PUTIN WHO IS A
RUTHLESS, MURDEROUS DICTATOR.

Stephen: HAD AN OPPORTUNITY
TO EXPLAIN TO AMERICA WHILE HE

FLIPPED OUR ALLEGIANCES IN SIX
WEEKS.

HE DIDN'T DO SO.
IF YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN WHY YOU'RE

DOING SOMETHING THAT DRASTIC,
THAT REMAINS A SECRET.

I THINK IT'S REASONABLE TO
IMAGINE THAT'S NEFARIOUS.

Mr. Buttigieg: IT'S NOT
GOOD.

Stephen: OR NOT GOOD.
NEFARIOUS, NOT GOOD.

Mr. Buttigieg: THE SAME
REASON HE DIDN'T EXPLAIN WHY

HE'S GOING TO HAVE TRILLIONS OF
DOLLARS IN TAX CUTS FOR THE RICH

AND GO AFTER MEDICAID AT THE
SAME TIME.

A WHOLE BUNCH OF WHAT THEY'RE
DOING IS IN--

NOT JUST FOR THE PRESIDENT BUT
MEMBERS OF CONGRESS, THINKING

ABOUT REPUBLICANS WHO CLEARLY
KNOW BETTER.

DON'T GET ME WRONG.
SOME OF THEM MAY BE DON'T BUT A

LOT OF THEM DO.
THE FACT THAT YOU HAD A SENATOR

FROM KANSAS WALKOUT ON HIS OWN
TOWN HALL AFTER ABOUT HALF AN

HOUR, THE FACT THAT THE WORD HAS
GONE UP FROM THE REPUBLICAN

CONGRESSIONAL COMMITTEE, DON'T
DO TOWN HALLS ANYMORE.

IT TELLS YOU THAT THEY KNOW THAT
THEY CANNOT STAND AND FACE THEIR

CONSTITUENTS AND EXPLAIN ANY OF
THIS.

Stephen: YOU WERE THE MAYOR
OF A SMALL TOWN.

[APPLAUSE]
YOU UNDERSTAND HOW TO MANAGE

GOVERNMENT, GOVERNMENT
EMPLOYEES.

MUSK IS IN THERE WITH A
METAPHORICAL AND LITERAL

CHAINSAW CUTTING PEOPLE OUT OF
THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT AT RANDOM

APPARENTLY.
LET GOD SORT THEM OUT.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN, WHAT IS IT
LIKE TO SEE THE FEDERAL

GOVERNMENT BEING DISMANTLED LIKE
THIS TO SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS

THE VALUE OF THE FEDERAL
WORKFORCE?

Mr. Buttigieg: THE
RANDOMNESS IS THE REAL PROBLEM.

I WOULD BE THE FIRST TO SAY, I
FEEL EVEN MORE STRONGLY AFTER MY

TIME IN WASHINGTON, THAT THERE
ARE THINGS IN THE GOVERNMENT

THAT NEED TO BE SHAKEN UP, THAT
NEED TO BE CHANGED.

WE WORKED A LOT ON THAT WHEN I
WAS THERE, SAME THING WHEN I WAS

MAYOR OF SOUTH BEND.
WE TOOK WHOLE DEPARTMENTS HAVE

TO THEM APART AND PUT THEM BACK
TOGETHER AND ACTUALLY SOME

PEOPLE HAD TO BE LET GO AS PART
OF THAT PROCESS.

BUT IT WAS A CAREFUL PROCESS TO
MAKE SURE WE COULD SERVE PEOPLE

BETTER.
THIS IS NOT THAT.

I MEAN, YOU'RE TALKING WITH THE
FAA, THEY STILL HAVE REFUSED TO

ITS LANE WHICH POSITIONS THEY
CUT AND WHY.

IT'S NOT LIKE THEY LOOKED
THROUGH THE EMPLOYEES AND SAID

THESE ARE THE POOR PERFORMERS,
THEY'VE GOT TO GO.

NOT LIKE THEY LOOKED THROUGH THE
JOB SINCE OF THESE ARE THE LEAST

IMPORTANT JOBS, THEY'VE GOT TO
GO.

THEY FIRED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE
ACROSS THE GOVERNMENT JUST

BECAUSE THEY CAN.
SOMETIMES THEY DID IT BY

ACCIDENT.
THE PEOPLE IN CHARGE OF NUCLEAR

WEAPONS WHO THEY SCRAMBLED TO
HIRE BACK.

THE PEOPLE IN CHARGE OF MAKING
SURE WE DON'T HAVE BIRD FLU,

RIGHT?
THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT STUFF.

Stephen: WE'VE GOT TO GO TO
COMMERCIAL HERE.

BEFORE WE GO, YOU ARE SECRETARY
OF TRANSPORTATION.

WHEN YOU ARE TRANSPORTATION
SECRETARY, DID THE PLANES LAND

THIS WAY OR UPSIDE DOWN?
THINK ABOUT IT WHEN WE ARE GONE.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE
PETE BUTTIGIEG.

Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.

LOOK AT THAT.
THAT IS OUR HONOR TRYING TO BE

JOINED BY FORMER SECRETARY
PETE BUTTIGIEG.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET STRAIGHT TO
THE HEAT OF THE MEAT.

MY INSTAGRAM TIMELINE IS FILLED
UP WITH EUROPEANS GIVING US 92ND

VIDEO SOURCING PLATE VARIATIONS
ON "AMERICA, I AM SO SORRY YOU&

HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS BUT
TRUST US, WE'VE BEEN THROUGH

THIS A LOT.
THIS IS WHAT AUTOCRACY LOOKS

LIKE."
IT IS SO MUCH BETTER TO FIGHT IT

NOW THAN SIX MONTHS FROM NOW AND
ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO FIGHT SIX

YEARS FROM NOW.
FOR INSTANCE, TRUMP PUT THIS OUT

THE OTHER DAY, HE SAID ALL
FEDERAL FUNDIN WILL STOP FOR

ANY COLLEGE SCHOOL OR UNIVERSITY
THAT ALLOWS ILLEGAL PROTESTS.

I'M SORRY.
THIS IS AMERICA.

WHAT THE HELL IS IT A LEGAL
PROTEST?

Mr. Buttigieg: THAT'S JUST
IT.

[APPLAUSE]
WE HAVE TO STAND UP TO THIS.

BY THE "WE," I DON'T JUST MEAN
DEMOCRATS.

FREEDOM LOVING CONSERVATIVES,
LIBERTARIANS, WHERE ARE YOU

QUESTION WHAT WE MIGHT NOT AGREE
ON EVERYTHING.

BUT IF YOU'RE SO COMMITTED TO
LIBERTY AS A LIBERTARIAN OR

FREEDOM LOVING CONSERVATIVE THAT
YOU THINK THE CLEAN AIR ACT IS

TYRANNY, THEN WHAT DO YOU HAVE
TO SAY ABOUT THE HEAD OF YOUR

GOVERNMENT THREATENING TO EXPEL
OR IMPRISON PEOPLE WHO PROTEST

IN DISAGREEMENT WITH HIS
POLITICS?

WHERE ARE YOU?
WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO COME

TOGETHER AROUND THAT.
[APPLAUSE]

Stephen: THE TRUMP
ADMINISTRATION HAS CURTAILED

PROTECTIONS ON HUMAN RIGHTS,
ESPECIALLY FOR THE LGBTQ

COMMUNITY.
HE BRAGGED ABOUT IT TONIGHT.

WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT WHERE
OUR COUNTRY IS HEADED MORALLY?

WHERE IS THE SOUL OF OUR NATION
HEADED?

Mr. Buttigieg: LOOK, OUR
NATION HAS ALWAYS BEEN AT ITS

BEST WHEN IT WIDENS THE CIRCLE
OF BELONGING AND EQUALITY TO

TAKE CARE OF MORE PEOPLE AND NOT
LAST.

OUR NATION HAS BEEN AT ITS WORST
WHEN WE BEEN DISCRIMINATING.

[APPLAUSE]
Stephen: DO YOU HAVE ANY

SENSE, DO YOU HAVE ANY FEAR THAT
THIS SUPREME COURT WOULD

OVERTURN OVER OBGERFIELD.
Mr. Buttigieg: THEY DON'T

SEEM WORRIED ABOUT IT.
HOW CAN WE NOT BE WORRIED ABOUT

IT?
Stephen: HOW DOES THE

DEMOCRATIC PARTY MEET THIS
MOMENT?

Mr. Buttigieg: ONE OF THE
THINGS ABOUT

SENATOR ELISSA SLOTKIN'S
RESPONSE WAS SHE HAD TO-DO LIST.

DON'T TUNE OUT.
I GET THE TEMPTATION BUT YOU

CAN'T DO IT.
IT DOESN'T MEAN BEING ONLINE

EVERY MINUTE BUT YOU'VE GOT TO
THE ENGAGE, HOLD ELECTED

OFFICIALS ACCOUNTABLE PRETTY GOT
TO ORGANIZE.

THAT WAS HER TO-DO LIST AND
THAT'S RIGHT.

THAT'S WHAT WE HAVE TO DO
TECHNTACTICALLY AND WE HAVE TO O

SUBSTANTIVELY IS HOLD FAST TO
THE VALUES, THINGS EVERY

AMERICAN CARES ABOUT.
I CAMPAIGNED ON FREEDOMS,

SECURITY, DEMOCRACY BACK WHEN I
WAS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT I

STILL BELIEVE THAT'S THE CORE
THAT SHOULD DRIVE OUR MESSAGE.

WE NEED TO TAKE THAT MESSAGE
EVERYWHERE.

IT'S NOT JUST WHAT WE SAY.
NOT JUST HOW WE SEE IT.

IT'S WHERE WE SAY.
Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUT

WHERE YOU COULD SAY IT.
YOU'VE RECENTLY MOVED TO

MICHIGAN.
[APPLAUSE]

THERE IS GOING TO BE AN OPEN
SENATE SEAT IN 2026.

IS THERE ANYTHING YOU'D LIKE TO
TELL US?

Mr. Buttigieg: NOT TONIGHT.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING AT IT.

I DECIDED I'M GOING TO CONTINUE
TO WORK ON THE THINGS THAT I

CARE ABOUT, TO DEFEND THE VALUES
THAT I WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT.

I HAVE NOT DECIDED WHAT THAT
MEANS PROFESSIONALLY, WHETHER

THAT MEANS RUNNING FOR OFFICE OR
NOT.

BUT I WILL MAKE MYSELF USEFUL.
[APPLAUSE]

Stephen: I HOPE SO.
WHAT'S LIFE BEEN LIKE SINCE YOU

LEFT THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION?
Mr. Buttigieg: IT'S BEEN A

CHALLENGING TIME FOR OUR
COUNTRY.

ONE OF THE THINGS I FIND, JUST
GOING THROUGH LIFE, GOING

SHOPPING AND GOING TO TARGET AND
TAKING THE KIDS TO SCHOOL, I

DROPPED OFF OUR KIDS-- I
DROPPED OFF OUR DAUGHTER.

OUR SON IS HOME SICK WITH THAT
COUGH THAT'S BEEN GOING AROUND

OUR PRESCHOOL.
I DON'T KNOW.

ONE OF THE THINGS HE REALIZES
THAT THE BLESSINGS OF

MIDDLE-CLASS PEACETIME LIFE IN
AMERICA ARE PRETTY GREAT.

SO I'VE BEEN MAKING THE MOST OF
THAT, EVEN AS I'M WATCHING

WHAT'S GOING ON IN OUR COUNTRY
AND DETERMINED TO DO SOMETHING

ABOUT IT.
Stephen: SECRETARY,

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING
HERE.

PETE BUTTIGIEG, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

Stephen: THAT'S IT

FOR "THE LATE SHOW,"
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN MY GUEST

WILL BE JAKE TAPPER.
NOW STICK AROUND

FOR TAYLOR TOMLINSON.
GOOD NIGHT!