Original subtitles

(MARIA LAUGHING)

MARIA: It's been wonderful.

No work, no others .

Only us two.

It's been great.

So, when do you get back from your next field trip?

Perhaps I won' t have to go.

MacGyver, I've bee n offered a position at the university.

Not much money, but a lot of free time for us.

You're leaving the Phoenix Foundation?

With regrets, yes.

But I want us to be together all the time.

You don't think you'll miss the traveling,

the, uh, excitement,

new places, all that stuff?

Oh, MacGyver, I've already lived in too many places .

I want to be with one man.

With you.

Well, you're with me now.

Like friends, sure . Like lovers, yes.

But like a family?

Well, the--the idea of a family is nice.

Nice?

I'm talking about more than nice.

I'm talking about commitment,

and you never want to discuss it.

(SIGHING) Commitment.

Uh...

Maria, it's...

? It's just not an easy thin g for me to talk about. Okay

Okay.

Take me home.

Uh, but I will talk about it.

I want to talk about it.

Come on.

What frightens you?

That you won't see other women?

Oh, I don't know. I don't think that's it.

I mean, I'm not really seeing anyone right now.

(DOOR CLOSING)

About time you got home.

Kate?

Kate!

Oh, uh, Kate's a cop.

Policeman. Woman.

I can see she's a woman.

And a cop.

. Uh, Lieutenant Kate Murphy

I was working undercover.

Uh, Maria Romburg.

Mmm, MacGyver and I are just friends, Maria.

JENNY: That you, MacGyver?

Jenny?

Jenny. I borrowed your shower again.

Hope you don't mind, lover.

Oh, actually, Jenny's with me.

She was having trouble at home again,

and the Challenge Center was out of beds.

I was hoping that she could stay here.

Chinese, anyone?

KATE: Talk marriage with a guy, he gets nervous.

JENNY: It's not just marriage. It's everything.

The guys I know, never talk about how they really feel.

That's because men are afraid of their feelings.

True.

Are all American men so frightened of emotion?

Or is it they are frightened of women?

Oh, come on.

What are you talkin' about , "all American men"?

Okay. Some American men.

Like cowboys, who are faithful to their horse,

but not with a woman.

(CHUCKLES)

Like marriage would be a prison sentence?

Marriage?

They get seriously disturbed about using dirty words,

like love.

You know, Jenny, I've noticed that same thing.

All right, wait. Hold it, here.

I... I've got something to say about all this.

Yeah?

And?

And I'm going to bed.

(JENNY GIGGLING)

You know, I think you really got to him.

MARIA: Nothing cuts so deep as the truth.

JENNY: Just like a man. He can't confront his own emotions,

so he runs away.

KATE: And leaves u s with the mess.

Jenny, what do you say we get it cleaned up?

(JENNY CHATTERING)

MARIA: Here, let me help.

(MAN CHATTERING ON T.V.)

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

(SQUEAKING)

MacGyver, I got to hand it to you.

This contraption here's gonna keep me in business till my arm heals up.

. Glad I could help you out, Bear

Well, anything I can do for you,

you name it.

Well, as a matter of fact,

I'd appreciate the rentin' of your spare wagon

for a couple of days.

Doggone it, MacGyver. The Bozers got my last one.

Paid in advance, too.

Yeah, well, those boys are becomin' right civilized.

It's fascinatin' what a gold strike will do to a man.

They got money, but they don't smell no sweeter.

Can you believe they went and contracted two mail order brides?

That's why they hired my wagon.

I got to feel sorry for them women

comin' all the way out here to hitch up with the Bozers.

. Still, I guess they can always say no

Mail order brides are usually pretty desperate.

Where are you headed, MacGyver?

Last Chance Gulch.

Supplies.

You can take my personal rig.

I'd be much obliged, Bear.

(MAN CALLING TO HORSES)

That's gotta be them now!

(DOG BARKING)

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

. MAN: Hey, boys

Welcome to Serenity.

I'm Kate Murphy.

Oh, the one who arranged for u s to come.

Mmm-hmm. I'm Maria Romburg.

? And you are my man

Wilt Bozer?

! WILT: Heck, no

Darling, I'm your man.

Wilt, Wilt, I seen her first.

Now, ain't that the sweet truth, darlin'?

No, she's mine, I saw her first. Please...

Now, hold your water, boys.

Hi, Miss Murphy.

I'm Jenny.

Well, Jenny.

Jenny-girl, you're in luck.

I'm Milt Bozer.

I'm your man.

Now, Milt, Milt...

the girls just got here.

I've got to get 'em settled in.

Here's your money. Consider it settled.

Now,

come and give your new husband a kiss, Maria!

MARIA: No! Now if you're gonna treat them like dance-hall floozies,

the deal is off!

You delivered 'em, and you got paid.

So just butt out!

Now, boys!

Don't you think the girls ought to have a say in this?

No.

Yes! Please.

. We made you a deal

Why, you...

It's a dead deal, Milt!

You're dead, MacGyver.

Get--get away.

(GRUNTING)

(COUGHING)

Want me to squash him, MacGyver?

No, thanks, Bear.

It's over.

Thank you.

You're promised to me, woman.

And we got us a contract!

If the girls are willin'.

MILT: If they're willing?

You better get them cleaned up and over to the saloon

within a half hour,

or there's gonna be big trouble!

Yeah.

Wilt!

I guess we'd better talk.

I'll be right with you , Miss Kate.

But first, I wanna thank you, too , Mr. MacGyver.

No thanks necessary, ma'am.

Help you with your bag?

Well, I--I would've come to your defense, Milt,

but I had my hands full with--with MacGyver.

Would you shut up

? with your whinin' and your excuse-makin'

Well, I tell you, the next I see him,

it's gonna be payback time!

You've got no gun.

(SHIVERING)

Kate Murphy has got our women.

She's got the gold we paid for 'em.

Now would you put that feeble mind of yours to that problem?

Before you go off and get yourself killed?

Okay.

KATE: You two wouldn't wanna try another town, would you?

Yes.

I would like to get away from here.

Well, you're all set.

KATE: Plans have changed, MacGyver.

I'm taking them to catch a train out of Last Chance Gulch.

. As soon as I can hire a wagon

Well, as it happens, I'm headed that way.

If you don't mind crowding.

I wouldn't mind a bit.

Well, now, I don't know.

Well, there are no more wagons to hire in town.

Then we'll have to go with you. Thank you.

Well, I reckon it's settled.

We will take you u p on your offer.

Yes, ma'am.

(DOG BARKING)

Billy. Cole.

News.

JESSE: News.

Jesse. You find out anything?

Sort of.

Sundance,

Kid, Tansey.

Kate find out when that payroll shipment's due yet?

I wouldn't count on it, Kid.

Well, why not?

She crossed you, Kid.

Went into business for herself.

Contracting for mail order brides.

I don't believe that.

(TANSEY LAUGHING)

Maybe she don't love you no more.

She left Serenity this mornin'

with two women and a fellow named MacGyver.

. I guess she hooked up with him

They're headed to Last Chance Gulch.

I--I figure they'll camp at Stony Creek tonight.

Who is this MacGyver?

He's got a spread outside Serenity.

Word is, he don't wear a gun.

Is he gutless, or simple-minded?

. I heard of him

Kind of invents things to get himself out of trouble.

Well, I don't think he can invent a way to stop a bullet.

He sure did invent a way to steal your woman.

Up to a little target-shootin', Sundance?

Well, nothing much else to do.

??(PLAYING BANJO)

(HAMMERING)

(HOOVES CLOMPING)

Well, aren't you u p bright and early this morning.

Howdy.

Give you a hand?

Well, actually, I think I have made the necessary repairs.

Well, hello, ladies.

Please, forgive my blocking the trail.

, But, since you are stopped

perhaps you would be interested

in some of my wares.

No, thanks.

. Let's go, MacGyver

MacGyver!

I have heard of you.

"The Man Who Carries No Gun."

Yep.

And what is so terrible

(THUNDER RUMBLING) of a man wishing not to kill other men?

You make a fine philosophical point there, ma'am.

But I can sense that you have reasons.

Please, forgive me,

but the palm of your hand will tell the story.

Oh. No, no, no , don't worry.

This reading will be gratis, on the house.

You have journeyed a great distance.

Now how on earth did you figure that?

I am not a charlatan.

You are fleeing a dark

and terrible occurrenc e in your past.

No, no. You seek

and need a new life.

. Stop it. No, no

There is danger in your path,

but also a strong champion.

This is enough nonsense.

Please, I apologize.

I can only say what I sense.

(CHUCKLES) Which, indeed, may be nonsense.

MacGyver, for you, a gift.

A small token.

For health and vigor.

Dr. Destiny's Iron Tonic.

, DESTINY: You carry secrets

each of you.

Wounds on your souls.

The wounds will only heal

. if you trust in each other

(CHUCKLES)

Adieu.

Snake oil peddler.

Maybe.

Maybe he's right.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(LAUGHING)

WILT: Just like I figured.

MacGyver and the women must have camped out here last night.

Wet down, and dried out.

They must of rode out early.

Well, they can't make much time haulin' a wagon.

We'll catch up to 'em.

(HOOVES POUNDING)

This your campsite?

Who's asking?

Mr. Colt.

MILT: No!

We're just lookin' for some friends.

I'm Milt Bozer and this, this here's my brother Wilt.

Yeah, we're lookin' for some people, too.

Three women,

man named MacGyver.

That's who we're after!

Those are the l-lover-boys I told you about.

The ones who struck gold.

We'll be hittin' the trail now.

? After that MacGyver fellow

Yeah. Good.

We'll just ride along with you boys.

We don't need no help.

(GUN COCKING) Oh, yes, you do.

(HORSE SNORTING)

Do you like this perfume, MacGyver?

Yeah, it's nice, Jen. Real nice.

He's real polite, he's friendly,

but he just isn't interested.

Truth is, Jenny, it's got nothin' to do with you.

(SIGHS)

Hello, MacGyver.

Uh, beg your pardon, ma'am.

. Oh, no, it's all right

I'm sorry if I embarrass you , MacGyver.

But surely you've seen a woman before.

Yes, ma'am, I have.

It's just that...

Well, beautiful women are not common in these parts.

Thank you.

Beautiful or not, it's better to be clean, I think.

Can't argue that.

You can use my soap.

? Or perhaps you are shy

Well, as a matter of fact, ma'am, I am.

Not to mention there's company in close proximity.

Oh, I forgot.

Always others.

What?

Well, ma'am,

back at that medicine peddler,

well, when he talked about something terrible in your life,

well, you got tight as a bowstring.

Is there anything I can do to help?

The past is the past. I do not like to remember.

(GUN FIRING)

LOGAN: Try to run away again and I'll shoot your legs off.

Stay put.

. Now, you just step on down, Kate

Let me take a look at you.

(GUN COCKING)

Welcome to the party.

Yes, sir, indeed.

So you're MacGyver, huh?

He was just helpin' us get to Last Chance.

Yours was thinkin' you could run off on me.

You don't own me.

Yeah, I think I do, Kate.

Now where's the gold that belongs to these two?

I shipped it to California.

I believe I better check on the truth of that.

Let them go.

They've got nothin' to do with this.

LOy're with you.

There's no gold.

There's nothin'.

I just wanted out.

Out?

You owe me, Kate!

Who kept you fed and clean ? Put shoes on your feet?

You could be talkin' about your horse.

(GASPING)

No.

No, a horse would lear n from a whippin'.

Then let me go.

Kate,

. when Kid Curry puts his brand on something, it's his

For life.

(HOOVES POUNDING)

It's the other woman!

She ran out on us!

Guess why?

LOGAN: For murder.

$500 reward.

Nice company you keep, Kate.

Gold?

No sign of it.

? Are you gonna tell us about it, Kate

Or do I just let you choke a while?

Hey.

. You want gold, ask your friends there

They got a whole mineful.

MILT: Now wait a minute.

. I, uh, I..

That's right.

We're gonna have us a nice friendly talk about your gold mine.

Yeah.

I believe we can find a use for the women.

But we got no use for MacGyver.

LOGAN: If he's lucky, he'll be dead of a broken neck

by the time we're back at Hole In The Wall.

(SUNDANCE CHUCKLING)

SUNDANCE: Wouldn't rightly say that.

If he's not lucky, he could choke to death.

Real slow.

See, MacGyver?

. Quick is lucky

The way that signpost is shakin',

why, you might just get lucky.

Why don't you boys just ride on up ahead of us?

Nice to be home, isn't it, Kate?

You're gonna do what you want with me.

I know that.

But Jenny, she's just a girl.

She came out here looking for a man, didn't she?

Well, I'll just le t the boys decide who gets her.

. I said, inside

Whoa, there!

MacGyver!

Oh, thank God!

I was so worried. I've been looking everywhere for you.

What's wrong?

Oh, you saw the poster.

Who'd you murder?

Would you believe me if I told you nobody?

When I came to New York, I stayed with my sister and her husband.

One day my sister is out.

He comes home.

He comes at me.

He attacks me.

And you fought back?

Yes.

But I didn't kill him.

He...

He was hitting me.

And my sister came home.

? Your sister killed him

For me.

But she has children, and what would happen to them?

So you took the blame?

Yes.

So, I had to run to some place far.

You believe me, don't you, MacGyver?

I believe you.

Now we better get moving.

They've taken the others to Hole In The Wall.

??(PLAYING BANJO)

Well, this is another fine mess you got us into.

What'd I do, Milt?

Who found the gold?

Oh. Yeah.

I'm sorry.

You're sorry?

Say, why don't you come here and give me a kiss?

(SCREAMING)

(LAUGHING)

Keep your hands off me!

Wait a minute, I'm Billy the Kid!

Then it's time you grew up.

UGHING) Then it's time you grew up. LA

Maybe you ought to rope her first, Billy.

Yeah, there's an idea.

You boys don't mind if Billy has some fun, now, do you?

. No. No

We'll let you have her back, when we're finished.

(SUNDANCE LAUGHING)

Uh, well, we--we changed our minds about gettin' married.

We got no claim.

So, we'll just be runnin' along.

Get out of your way, so to say.

Good idea. Hmm.

First I'd appreciate knowin' the location of that strike.

The gold strike?

You made any others?

No.

It's just...

Well, what if I told you, there wasn't any gold mine.

Well, now, first I'd shoot off your kneecap,

and, uh, plug you in the belly.

After that, I'd put one between your eyes.

Then I'd kill you.

Due west,

out of town.

Cut left at Devil's Bluff.

Straight down, 20, 25 yards.

Sure hope you boys are tellin' the truth.

(PIG SQUEALING)

Giddyup!

. Well, I guess we can just walk right in now

They'll see us.

Except everyone who would've recognized us just rode off.

Oh.

What are we going to do?

Oh.

There's bound to be an ide a here somewhere.

(JENNY SOBBING)

Ow!

Get your hands off her, Billy.

Yeah, it's my turn.

Here, you work on Kate a while.

Well, howdy, boys!

Mind if I cut in?

Who are you, pilgrim?

Locomotive Luke.

Call me, Loco. This here's Lucy.

. We've been looking for her

The young one.

Well, what do you mean?

Oh, I wouldn't be gettin' too close to this one here if I were you.

She put half my gang in their graves.

Heck, I wouldn't even breathe the air next to her.

She's...sick.

She has a social disease.

Six dead, so far.

Poor Ringo.

He just up and

rotted away.

Oh, my God!

She sneezed on me!

Well, I'm real sorry for you then, ma'am.

(JENNY GASPING) No!

That'll just spread it.

Well, what can we do?

Lye soap.

Scrub yourselves down.

Take a bath?

Yuck!

It's cruel. It's unhuman.

But it's the only way.

Whose wagon's out there?

Oh, they came in it.

I got to take responsibility.

I'll just take 'em off your hands right here.

Loco, we ought to thank you. You're welcome.

)

Well, hello, there, M-MacGyver.

(HENS CLUCKING)

MacGyver!

What are you doin' here?

Well, howdy, boys.

Just thought I'd drop in.

You stick here, Cole.

' We got to get goin

before that Kid Curry fellow gets back.

Yeah.

He strikes me as a kind of unfriendly fellow.

WILT: No, y-you don't get it.

W-W-We gave him directions to our gold mine.

And it ain't there.

On account of there ain't no mine.

Think you boys are right.

He's bound to be a tad upset with you.

So, where'd you get all the gold?

We come upon a prospector who come upon a grizzly.

So we figured he had no use for that dust he was carryin'.

So we took it.

And told the town you struck it rich?

Yeah, well, they kind of looked up to us for a change.

Showed us some respect.

Well, not Kid Curry.

That fellow just doesn't seem to have a sense of humor.

(GRUNTING)

? Think you might untie us, MacGyver

? WILT: MacGyver

MILT: You know, MacGyver,

me and Wilt, we...

we've been thinkin' it over.

WILT: We've done some nasty things,

. and we ought to atone for our sins

Atone?

Yeah, it kind of means pay for what you owe.

Huh.

Not a bad idea, boys.

And right now is the time for you to start atonin'.

What, uh...

What do you mean?

Got the idea?

Yeah.

Yeah, but--but wha t if he hears us?

Wilt, that is the idea.

Not that way!

Put him in the shed.

Jenny, would you get your tail over here with that whiskey?

Jesse, take someone else. This one's spoke for.

MacGyver busted out.

He's gonna get the law.

What happened to Cole?

He took off after MacGyver.

Go get him.

MILT: What'd you go and trip me for?

I'm trying to help you boys. BILLY: Well, then stay out from underfoot.

Is that fair?

I come in trying to do right by you folks,

this fellow's treatin' me like a dog.

That's what I call right poor manners.

JESSE: You want manners?

I'll be real polite, just before I kick your fool head in.

(JESSE CHATTERING)

Soon as you hear a lot of gunfire,

make a run for the wagon.

Which way did he go?

I think he must have gone this way.

. JESSE: Keep movin'

(HOOVES POUNDING)

(HENS CLUCKING)

What are you varmints playin', hide and seek?

No, MacGyver busted out.

Bozer here told us.

Bozer, huh?

Bring him inside.

BILLY: What about MacGyver?

SUNDANCE: We'll deal with him after we bury the Bozers.

Hi.

Did you find that gold mine? Yeah.

You did?

Yeah, and we'd like to thank you for it.

LOGAN: I don't like being made to look a fool.

Not gonna shoot us, are you?

Oh, it's not gonna be that easy.

I'm gonna shave you real close.

(EXPLOSIONS)

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

LOGAN: Where's it coming from?

(GUN FIRING)

Get in the wagon! Get movin'!

) (SQUEALING

Hold it!

Bozers and the girls are gone!

(EXCLAIMS)

Look out! C-Come on!

The door's stuck.

(EXCLAIMS)

Hurry, MacGyver!

Giddyup!

Hold it. Just get out of the way, get out of the way.

Now let's go.

There he is!

LOGAN: Get off me. Get off me!

! BILLY: Oh, my head

Damn!

(BELL RINGING)

This belongs to you, boys.

Well,

me and Wilt, we talked it over.

We wanna loan it to you.

Why?

Uh, grubstake, kind of.

Yeah, we--we figured we give you girls a lot of grief.

What can we say?

. You don't have to say nothin'

(GIRLS CHUCKLING)

Well, I guess we better get goin'.

Come here, you.

I owe you, MacGyver.

Don't you forget me now, you hear?

So, we say goodbye.

I guess.

Goodbye.

Wait!

. You're not leavin'

What do you mean?

Oh.

CONDUCTOR: All aboard!

(STEAM ENGINE HISSING)

Hi.

W-What--what?

I have great news.

Pete called.

I have an assignment in Rio.

It is Carnival.

What? Now?

Now.

What about your position at the university?

That was just an idea. A dream.

You are right. I would miss the excitement.

Oh, but wait a minute, what if... I must not miss my plane.

No, no, what about last night?

What about last night?

Well,

we were-- we were talkin' about, um,

commitment.

What?

Commitment. We were talkin' about it.

What about it?

Well, I'd like to talk some more about it.

We will, we will, as soon as I get back.

Bye.