Original subtitles

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Oh, poor pickings.

That early frost

. just killed what was left of the blueberries

I told you, we should've been out here

pickin' every day.

Oh, there's some left here.

A little weathered, but they'll do for preserves.

Dad gum! Poachers!

Oh!

If I have to live another 50 years,

I'll see those heartless wolf-killers out of these woods.

(SIGHING)

Spring it!

I'd like to snap i t around their necks

. so they'd know what it feels like

What's the matter with people?

Don't they know the pain and suffering they cause those poor animals?

(EXCLAIMING)

(SCREAMING)

(GROANING)

Did you hear that? What?

Did you hear that scream?

. You know I don't hear well

Oh, come on, come on, let's see.

(GROANING)

! Lord in heaven

You poor man. You stepped into a bear trap.

D-Don't you worry. My sister's a nurse.

I'm Hope. She's Faith.

We're the Lacey sisters. We run a bed-and-breakfast just over yonder...

Oh, Hope, shush up and give me a hand.

(MACGYVER GROANING)

(GRUNTING)

I don't think we're strong enough.

(HOPE GROANS)

. Wait, wait, wait, wait

Ladies, both of yo u push on this side.

I'll push on this...

(GROANS)

Oh, crud!

Oh, I don't like the looks of this at all.

We'll just have to take him home with the trap on.

How?

Silly, in the wagon.

Here, now,

our house is near here.

We have tools there.

Now, don't you worry.

We'll have your foot out of that trap in a jiffy.

Won't we, Faith?

Well, you're gonna have to help us, Mister...

MacGyver.

Wait, wait, wait.

(MUMBLING)

Don't worry. All right now, push.

Push. I am pushing.

Push.

Push. What does it look like I'm doing?

Push.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Oh, Leo, you're just in time!

. HOPE: Come and help us

This man is badly hurt . Hurry!

He's one of our regulars. Such a nice man.

Never calls, just drops by.

Mr. MacGyver, this is Leo Burns,

a frequent guest at the Lacey house.

What happened?

I stepped in a... He stepped on oneicious traps.

We'll do the talking, Mr. MacGyver.

I-If you don't mind, Leo...

Oh, sure.

Hope, will you go and get the fireplace tools?

(CHAINS RATTLING)

(GROANING)

What were you doin ' out in the woods?

Uh, working.

E-Endangered Species Program, gray wolf.

Well, bless your heart!

A fellow animal lover.

HOPE: You know, these traps are only part of the problem.

Disease, hunting, loss of habitat.

(FAITH GRUNTING)

HOPE: It's no wonder the gray wolf is endangered.

For heavens sake, Leo, push!

(GRUNTING)

There!

Doesn't that feel better?

HOPE: Now, let's get him in the house so I can dress that wound.

Needless to say, you're welcome to stay just as long as you like.

HOPE: We'll put him in the yellow daisy room.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

FAITH: Well, look who's awake!

And here we are, made fresh this morning.

Mmm.

What time is it?

Now, never you mind.

It's more important that you get something in your tummy.

FAITH: You've got to eat.

Now, Mr. MacGyver, no ifs, ands, or buts.

HOPE: You wanna get better , don't you?

FAITH: Shame on you. You didn't eat a thing.

Uh, did you call a doctor?

I talked to him by phone.

He had an emergency appendectomy.

Marge Hofstedder up on Gilpin Road.

Dr. Feiffer said if you can move your foot, it's probably not broken.

The important thing is that you stay off your feet.

If you want an X-ray, there's a hospital about 70 miles away.

Uh, no. No.

Maybe if I could get somebody to drive me back to my motel.

What did he say?

Motel?

(CHUCKLES)

Hope and I wouldn't think of it, would we, Hope?

No. If Mr. MacGyver is going to stay anywhere,

he's going to stay right here at no charge.

Absolutely!

Consider it done.

Really, I appreciate all this...

Now, Mr. MacGyver, we'll pick up your things on the way to the market.

That way, Dr. Feiffer can stop by in the morning.

Now give me your motel key , Mr. MacGyver.

Quickly.

We have pies in the oven.

Blueberry. Our specialty.

Oh, I almost forgot!

Look here.

(GROANING)

We found this in the attic.

. It belonged to great-grandpa Lacey

I think.

? Well, who else would it belong to

He was a doctor, and an abolitionist during the Civil War.

I was going to say that.

He was one of the first to help runaway slaves.

Hope, stop devilin g Mr. MacGyver.

We'll have a whole week to get to know each other.

A week?

That's what Dr. Feiffer said.

If you stay off that foot.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Hey!

Didn't I tell you no eating in the car? Didn't I?

There he is! Let's get him.

Hold it. Look.

? Mr. Burns, what are you doing out here

We have a nice fire going in the sitting room.

Oh, well. Thanks for remembering our rules.

Faith and I have to run some errands in town.

Would you mind looking in on Mr. MacGyver while we're gone?

. LEO: Sure. Be happy to

You find out anything more about him?

I mean, who he works for?

All we know is, he cares about the wolves.

Just like you, Mr. Burns.

I don't understand you, Leo.

You keep saying how you like the air up here.

Why do you spoil it with those cancer sticks?

Just a nasty habit , I guess.

Hope, are you coming?

Uh, Hope,

uh, this is for yo u and Faith.

A letter. Yes, but I...

I don't want you to open it unless...

Uh, unless somethin' happens to me.

Promise me, okay?

Well--Well, yes. Yes, Mr. Burns.

If you insist.

Hope!

. Okay, now. Let's do it

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Hi, Leo. Having a nice vacation?

Yeah. Yeah, Gorman . Real nice.

Abe, Bobby, w-what are you guy s doin' here?

Orders.

We came to get the money.

Oh, I--I-- I'm not doing any pickups or deliveries.

I-- I'm on a little vacation.

. Let's cut through the chit-chat, Leo

School's out.

Since I took over the books,

. the boss knows you've been skimming money

For years.

Over a million bucks worth.

You're a rich man, Leo.

No, it wasn't me. I swear!

Right. And ducks can ice-skate.

Abe.

. Now one more time, Leo

Where'd you hide the cash?

(GROANING)

(SCREAMS)

(PANTING)

I'm a dead man anyway.

Let me handle him.

Come on, Leo.

(GROANING)

(LAUGHING)

Please, you know I got a heart problem.

You got more than a heart problem.

You feel like talkin'?

(GROANING) My chest...

(BOBBY LAUGHING)

Having fun, Leo?

(GROANING)

Let him loose.

You lunatic! You killed him!

How was I supposed to know his ticker was gonna stop?

. What's the sweat? The bum had a heart attack

When they find him, nobody's gonna be the wiser.

The money, Abe.

If I don't get that money back, I'll be a dead man.

Car key. Okay.

Bobby, go check out his room.

Abe and I'll go through his car.

(DOOR OPENING)

(DOOR CLOSING)

(FOOTSTEPS)

Faith?

Hello? Hope?

(COUGHS)

(GRUNTING)

(CUTLERY CLATTERING)

Hello?

(GROANING)

God.

Perfect.

(GASPING) Oh, no!

! (EXCLAIMING) The man's a walking accident

What are you doing downstairs?

Did you see Leo?

Y-Yes. He--He just checked out.

Checked out?

He had some, uh,

some personal business to attend to.

But I saw him laying under the hammock.

Face down.

(GASPING) You poor man.

Faith, look, the crutch broke.

Well, he shouldn't have been out of bed.

(GROANING)

Oh, you hurt your ankle again, didn't you?

Yes. No wonder, the poor ma n is hallucinating.

Oh, let's get you into the parlor. What you need...

What you need is a good hot cup of tea.

(GROANING)

Oh!

(WHIMPERING)

Now, you sit there and rest.

(GROANING)

(CLOCK TICKING)

(COUGHS)

(GROANS)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(GASPING) Mr. MacGyver, you're awake!

(STUTTERING) What are you doing here?

What am I doing here?

What's Leo doing here?

I didn't-- I didn't lie to you.

Leo did check out.

Permanently.

HOPE: It was his last wish

that he would neve r leave this place.

We thought the barn was perfect.

. I-It's all in his will

He gave it to me before he died.

Trust us, MacGyver,

Leo loved Lacey House.

We were his only family.

Wait a minute!

You can't just bury somebody.

There are laws!

You gotta have a death certificate,

a burial permit, all kinds of stuff.

Oh, poop! Lighten up, MacGyver.

What difference does it make?

I promised Leo. It was his last wish.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(SIGHING)

It's been an hour since those old broads brought Leo to the barn.

I don't get it.

Hey! The paint job.

You'd think they'd call a doctor,

or a coroner, a cop.

Somebody.

Those two old biddies are up to somethin'.

Come on, get in.

FAITH: Leo was dead when we found him under the hammock.

It was his heart.

From all the smoking, most likely.

Lord knows, I know the symptoms.

Yeah, what about that cut?

Could be he was hi t with something.

And those marks.

Well, that's from lying in the hammock.

Lying in a hammock does not press into your skin like that.

Well, who would want to hurt a nice man like Mr. Burns?

What about the will?

Maybe that'll tell us something.

That's it?

? Where's the rest of it

That's all he gave us.

Uh, enough about Leo.

Uh, I think it's high time you get yourself into bed, Mr. MacGyver.

After we call the police.

(MACGYVER CLEARS THROAT)

Very well.

I'll call.

On second thought,

maybe a nice pine box would be better.

(GASPING)

Where you goin', Grandma? The party's just starting.

(LAUGHING)

(GASPING)

. I hope you don't mind if we pay our respects

How dare you!

And you let go of my sister!

Whoa! Just... Let's settle down here.

What's the problem?

. No problem

Give us the money and we'll be gone.

What money?

Leo's money.

Of all the nerve.

The poor man isn't even cold,

. and you come storming in here looking for his wallet

If it's all that important, it's on his dresser.

I'm talkin' a million, lady.

Cash.

A million dollars?

? Where would Leo get that kind of money

(CHUCKLING) Leo?

Sounds like you and Le o were real chummy.

Oh, yes. He's been coming here for years.

Then, how come you're buryin' him under your barn?

Sounds pretty suspicious to me.

Come on, come on, what are you peopl e up to, huh?

Uh, we people don't know what you're talking about.

I'll jog her memory.

Just wait! Hold it.

Wait a second.

Mr. Gimp has something to get off his chest.

Maybe he wants to stand in for grandma.

. Don't you dare

Mr. MacGyver is an innocent bystander.

Oh? Meaning you tw o ain't so innocent?

Work her over.

Ah! Just... Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I think I know where the money is.

This morning I saw Leo

going out to the tool shed with a suitcase.

That's better.

Abe, Bobby, tie them up.

And you two better pra y that the gimp knows where the money is.

Come on, ladies. Over here. Move it.

(GROANING)

BOBBY: Hold still, you old bag.

(GRUNTING)

(EXCLAIMING) You big goon!

Wait till I get my hands on you.

(EXCLAIMING) Shame on you.

What would your mother say?

(CHUCKLING) What mother?

He's the kind of thing you find under a rock.

Hope, Faith, settle down.

(EXCLAIMING)

Good thinking, because if those two don't shut up,

I'm gonna put 'em in the hole with Leo.

Come on, guys. Let's go.

. Sure wish I knew what was going on here

We're being terrorized by a bunch of hoods, that's what.

You sure there's not something you want to tell me?

About Leo?

His will?

Why it's torn in half?

All right.

(GROANING)

Mr. MacGyver, what are you doing?

I'm gonna try and get us ous.

(MACGYVER GRUNTING)

(EXCLAIMING)

? Oh! Isn't he ingenious

You said your great-grandfather helped runaway slaves?

Is that right?

Oh, yes. Long before the Civil War.

Why?

Well,

a trapdoor leading to a hidden room under a barn?

It's kind of a strange place for a storeroom, wouldn't you say?

What does that hav e to do with slaves?

Faith, don't you remember your lessons?

Abolitionists, like great-grandpa Jonathan,

hid them in cellars just like this as they moved north.

And most cellars had a secret tunnel

so they'd have an escape route,

in case the authorities came.

Faith, he's right.

Great-grandpa Jonathan used to talk about a tunnel,

from the house to the barn.

Where he was going to put us if we didn't eat our oatmeal.

Hope, that was a fairy tale.

Well, maybe not.

Oh, Faith!

Untie your sister. I'm gonna look around.

How? You can't even walk.

(GROANING)

What can we do to help?

Uh...

Grab that saw

and cut through the two support beams on the stairs.

But not all the way through.

Oh, I get it.

Come on, Hope, come on.

. HOPE: Oh, now I get it

We're setting up a trap.

FAITH: Well, of course we're setting a trap.

(SAWING)

HOPE: Oh, dad gum it!

FAITH: Now what?

. I broke a nail

For goodness sakes, Hope, who cares?

I do.

I'll glue it back later. Just keep sawing.

What did you say?

I said, keep sawing.

Okay.

And you don't have to shout at me.

Yes, you are definitely getting a hearing aid for Christmas.

What did you say?

Never mind.

You're pulling too hard.

. That's because you're yanking

I am not! Are, too.

(SAWING)

That creep! He was pulling our chain!

There's something in here.

(ALL LAUGHING)

They double-crossed us!

For the last time.

(SAWING)

FAITH: Wait till that nosy Clara Brinkley hears about this.

She'll be so jealous.

I found it.

Oh.

This cupboard. What about it?

Well, it's not a cupboard. Look, it's about an inch or two off the ground.

Oh!

It's attached to the wall.

Give it a pull , see if you can pull it out.

(CREAKING)

Put some muscle into it.

(HOPE GRUNTING)

Oh!

All right!

Oh!

You are ingenious.

Grab one of those lanterns.

They're coming.

. (WHISPERING) Faith, come on

(GROANING) Oh, my leg!

Are you okay? Yeah, yeah.

Where'd they go?

Over here.

Footprints.

What'll we do when we get out of here?

We'll call the police and then get to your car.

Okay, slow down.

Stop. Stop, stop, the leg!

(EXHALES)

What now?

. They didn't just disappear

There's gotta be a tunnel.

Pull!

Come on, pull!

(ALL GRUNTING)

Go!

What if there's something heavy on top of it?

Bite your tongue.

(CREAKING)

Oh!

(GROANING) Jesus!

(LAUGHING) Oh, my goodness, the kitchen!

We... All these years, and we never knew it was here!

(GASPING)

Stop! Or you're all...

(SCREAMING)

Jeez!

I'll kill 'em! I'll kill 'em!

. Back the other way

It's dead.

They must have cut the wires.

Where are the keys to your car?

In my coat.

. Back in the barn, over Leo

I'll kill 'em.

(COUGHING) I'll kill 'em.

Hurry up.

Hurry up!

Honestly, Faith, I don't know how many times I've told her,

get one of those little magnetic key boxes,

but no!

It's all right, ladies, we won't need a key.

Forget the car. Too late.

We'll have to stand them off.

? You mean we're trapped

Well, in the military

they call it taking a defensive position.

Oh, I like that much better.

(SIGHING)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

GORMAN: Bobby, no!

Not until we find out where they've hidden the money.

You are something else , Mr. MacGyver.

(BANGING ON DOOR) Oh, I wish I were 30 years younger.

HOPE: Oh, Faith!

(GROANING)

What?

My back.

Forget it. I got a better idea.

(GROANING) Come on. God!

You okay, boss ? Yeah.

. They can't be everywhere at once

Okay, yeah, all right!

Looks like they're giving up.

Yeah, well, I doubt that.

What next?

It's a big house. We have to be ready for anything.

All right. I'm gonna need your help here.

Yeah, piece of cake.

Got it.

(GROANING)

Listen to me. I know you're in there.

You got somethin' that belongs to us.

We're not leavin' until we get it.

If you cooperate, I promise you,

nobody gets hurt.

Forget it, sucker.

You mugs will have to come in and get us!

Isn't this exciting?

Oh, yeah.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(GLASS SHATTERING)

Keep workin'.

All right.

(GROANING)

My eyes! My eyes!

(GROANING)

Well?

Well, one of them has got a headache.

(WINDOW SLIDING)

The sewing room!

I forgot to lock the window.

You didn't!

All right, ladies, tuck in there. Go ahead.

Okay, grab an end.

(FLOORBOARD CREAKING)

(WHISPERING) Now, on my signal, pull.

Now!

! Hold it, wait a minute

He's out.

Too bad.

(GROANING)

I don't believe this! What happened?

. I--I don't know. Somebody hit me in the face with a mop

I couldn't get in.

Couldn't get in?

It's just two old ladies and a gimp.

Bobby got in, right? How do I know?

I can't see a thing!

That's it! That's it! Get in the car.

(GROANING)

Gorman, what are you gonna do?

! I said get in the car! I'll get in that house

Did you hear that?

Oh, my goodness, he's pointing his car at us.

What are we going to do? We've run out of tricks.

(CAR ENGINE REVVING)

Maybe not. Do you have a vacuum cleaner?

. FAITH: Yes

Can you bring it to me, please?

I sure will.

Thank you.

Brace yourself.

Plug that in.

! They're coming right at us

(GASPING)

(VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRING)

You're dead!

(GROANING)

FAITH: We did it, we did it!

Go on, punk.

Make my decade.

We hope you're not mad at us.

No,

but I would like to know why you didn't tell me about the money.

Well, we thought you were such a goody two-shoes

that maybe you'd make us give Leo's money back.

But it wasn't Leo's money. He was skimming.

From the Mob. Exactly.

So, they're not about to claim it.

We know the rules, Mr. MacGyver.

If nobody makes a claim,

the police have to give the money bac k to the finders.

Besides, it wasn't for us.

, With you as our consultant

we're gonna use Leo's mone y to save the gray wolf.

We do so hope your Phoenix Foundation can help us.

Well, I can't promise anything,

but I'll do my best to enlighten the people who use these darn things.

. I have a terrific idea

Why don't you just sla m a door on their leg?

That ought to get their attention.

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