Original subtitles

[music playing]

MALE SINGER: When I'm ditching school,

and I'm heading out for the beach, yeah,

there's something that my teachers just can't teach.

'Cos I like bikinis, small bikinis, large bikinis.

It's my bikini summer.

I'm looking for love and castles in the sand.

With the sun on my face and my eyes on every tan.

'Cos I like bikinis, small bikinis, large bikinis,

It's my bikini summer.

It's my bikini summer.

Small bikinis, large bikinis, small bikinis.

It's my bikini summer.

I want bikinis, large bikinis and small bikinis.

It's my bikini summer.

How much you got in there today, Joshua?

$62.

And give me a couple of packs of Marlboro.

Morning.

Nice morning, isn't it?

Yeah.

Very nice indeed.

Yeah, here we go, 62.

You can marry into money.

Oh.

Dammit, I can't leave you for a minute.

What?

What did I do now?

You're supposed to look at me like that.

I bought you cigarettes.

I don't care.

Think I'm with you for cigarettes?

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

We're supposed to have breakfast.

Have breakfast with her.

What did I do?

Women.

[music playing]

[alarm beeping]

[snoring]

Harry, I know you're awake.

[groaning]

Come on, assume the position.

What time is it there?

- 8:00. - I overslept again.

I got to get to work.

Oh no, not this time, Harry Witherspoon.

Last night you promised.

Oh but sweetheart, I don't want to be late for work.

Who gives a damn?

You own the real estate company.

You can't fire yourself.

Sweetheart, I am not in the mood.

Buenos dias, your breakfast is served.

What am I eating?

Tea, juice, cereal, cafe.

Any milk for my coffee?

Buenos dias.

Good morning.

Buenos dias.

Buenos dias.

Aren't you going to the beach today with your sister?

Yeah.

I got to get going.

So soon?

I got to take your father to work.

Are you coming back tonight?

Tonight and every night.

[music playing]

Buenos dias, Miss Venessa.

So messy.

Ladies.

Listen closely ladies.

Opals, opals are the stone of the year.

Now, if you don't have an opal in your jewelry box,

your box is empty.

Scott, Scott, my floor director, Scott, let's get a close up

of this beautiful ring.

Harry.

Don't you think Stu Stocker is sexy?

Whatever you say, dear.

STU: Hmm?

MAN: A little higher. STU: Oh you like that?

MAN: That's perfect.

STU: I thought you'd say that.

Now, this beautiful opal ring surrounded by sapphires,

diamonds, and other opals is priced at $350,

but I am going to cut that price for you

beautiful women at home deprived of this lovely jewel.

I'm going to cut this baby in half

and in half and in half, $99.

That's it.

Just for you sweethearts at home, $89.

$89?

Did I slip and say $89?

MAN: [inaudible]

STU: Well, my mistake as always is your savings.

Bubbles, the ring, Bubbles.

But my box is empty, Stu.

[gong]

[music playing]

Got my banana?

Hey, watch how you peel that.

Cochino.

Father, Father.

What?

Good morning to you, too.

What is it now?

Venessa and I are going to the beach today,

and you didn't give us our allowance for the week.

Ask your mother.

I did.

What'd she say?

Exactly?

Yes.

Get it from that asshole father of yours, exactly.

Dammit.

Don't talk to me for another week.

William, let's go. I'm late.

Yes, sir.

What?

Are you crazy?

About you.

[non-english speech]

That's good, Bridget, but sounds a little Jewish now.

Come on, dammit, William.

Let's go.

Will you move this show?

Yes, sir.

Just trying to let the car warm up.

Let's go. We're not in Alaska.

It's 90 damn degrees out there.

What the hell is warming up?

You don't move this car right now, you are fired.

Let's go.

Yes, sir.

[screaming]

My god, you idiot, why don't you watch where you're going?

I'm sorry, sir.

Not you, you jackass. You.

Dianna, get the blanket.

Put it on the couch.

Let's go.

Put his ass down right here.

Come on, William. Let's go.

I'm late.

- But sir, what about this-- - He's fine.

When he wakes up, kick his ass out of here.

And it's a damn good thing for you

you didn't hit another shrub.

Daddy, call 911.

I don't want the cops involved in this.

He looks OK.

He's fine.

You're fine right, sir? You can walk.

Let me see.

OK, he can walk.

Let's go, William.

I'm late.

Aren't you going to do anything?

All right.

He's fine.

Everybody out of here.

Let's go right now, or you're fired.

Come on, William, let's go.

I got to get going here.

I'm late.

JOSHUA: Barbara, is my 9:30 appointment there?

BARBARA: (ON PHONE) Yeah, and you're late.

JOSHUA: I know I'm late.

That's why I'm calling.

I'll be right there.

You can stay in the guest house.

Come on, come on.

[groaning]

Come on.

Well, this is it.

Go on, sit down.

Now, you stay right there.

You'll see.

You'll love it here.

Poor thing.

You need a bath.

It's all right.

I'm just trying to get you cleaned up.

I'm not going to take anything from you.

You're late.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, what?

I'm sorry, Mistress Clarice.

I don't like to wait.

But I can explain.

Explain on your knees, schmuck.

Well, you see, there was this homeless person and--

I don't give a shit about them.

[stuttering]

Shut up, slave.

You will worship the ground I walk on.

Now crawl.

Answer. - Yes.

Yes, what?

Yes, sir.

I mean, yes, Mistress Clarice.

You'll pay for that.

Now, kiss the ground I walk on.

Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.

Kiss.

Now, lick.

Yes, Mistress Clarice.

Not there, you dog.

Lick my shoes clean.

Lick deep, slave.

[german] come on.

In English, in English.

Come on!

Push it up, you wimp!

In German!

In German!

[german]

[humming]

I bought you some food.

MAN: I can like us just the way we are.

[screaming]

And in half again!

Now, if you're one of the first 100 lucky callers--

Don't you just love the show.

Well, don't you?

Yes, Mrs. Witherspoon.

Yes, Mistress Clarice.

Do you promise to be a good boy and be on time next week?

Yes, Mistress Clarice.

I don't believe you.

[screams]

Look at this. Look at my neck.

Look at this.

Look at my neck.

Mark.

What?

Do you know where Bridget is?

We're supposed to go to the beach,

and my hair isn't done yet, and my nails aren't dry yet.

Whose neck is bigger?

Mine, isn't it?

It's a tough call.

Why don't you try arms?

[grunting]

Measuring tape!

Coming, coming, coming!

Hi, where's Bridget? I'm Sandy.

She was supposed to meet us at the beach.

I'm Sandra.

She's in the guest house.

What is she doing there?

Well, she has a guest.

That's why we call it the guest house.

Oh, thanks.

45.

[inaudible]

25.

20.

[laughter]

[knocking]

BRIDGET: Who is it? - It's Sandy.

And Sandra.

Why'd you stand us up?

You should have called or something.

We were worried.

What are you doing in there?

It's so nice outside.

Are you coming?

I have a guest.

Anyone we know?

Is it a guy?

He's a homeless man.

Cool.

Let's see him.

Can we look at him?

Can we touch him?

OK, but he's not a pet or a caged animal.

He's a person like you and me.

Of course. Rad.

Wow, what an exciting day.

First, I get my period and now this.

Wow Cool.

He looks fine to me.

Why doesn't he have any clothes on?

I'm washing him.

He was really dirty when Daddy hit him.

Your dad hit him?

Well, actually William was pulling out of the driveway.

Wow.

He looks fine to me.

He hasn't said a word yet.

I don't know if he can speak.

What is your name?

Your name?

What is your name?

What is your name?

Your name?

Name?

Your name?

If you yell in my face one more time,

I'm going to spank you, Sandra.

Just 'cos I'm homeless doesn't mean I can't talk.

It just means I don't have a home.

Get it?

Homeless, not speechless.

Homeless.

And if you contort your face like that name one more time,

I will vomit in your face.

Gross.

Never knew such pretty girls could

make themselves look so ugly.

Not only does he talk, but does he talk a lot.

Well, fun's over for the day.

He speaks.

I liked him better when he didn't talk.

Me too.

Much more excitement.

Sorry to disappoint you ladies.

Well, I guess that's all.

We're going to the beach.

You coming?

What am I going to do with my guest?

Well, you do didn't run him over.

No, you guys go.

Maybe I'll see you tomorrow.

OK.

Cool meeting you.

Yeah, rad.

My sentiments exactly.

What does rad mean?

You know what cool means, right?

For a long time.

Well, rad's five times cool.

I get it.

You're very pretty.

Are you going to rape me?

I'm homeless, not a rapist.

Why didn't you speak earlier?

You didn't ask me too.

Good point.

All right, what did you guys forget?

Do you want to tell me what is going on here?

We're missing valuable sun.

What is your problem?

This is.

I'm sorry.

What's your name?

I thought I was bad.

Here's my 18-year-old sister sitting

here with a half naked man twice her age,

and she doesn't even know his name.

Where have you been all morning?

Around, taking care of--

Joshua.

My name is Joshua.

And if you have my clothes, I really have to go.

I thank you for your food and for your tender touch.

You're really a sweetheart.

Tender touch.

Did you sleep with him you slut?

Watch your mouth, young lady.

Even though you're older, you can learn a few things

from your sister She has a kind, compassionate heart of gold.

If it wasn't for her, I might have been left for dead.

Well, you really weren't dead.

No, but it makes a more colorful story.

Now, I really got to get going.

I have a very dear lady friend who'll be

worried sick if I'm not there.

You're married?

Girlfriend.

Very special girl.

Without her, I think I'd be dead today.

Like I say, there are people that don't have homes

and are alive inside, and there are people that have the best

homes and are dead inside.

Like our father.

For someone with a smart mouth,

you sure have great eyesight.

Great.

Now can we get back to the sun and fun, please?

How will you find her?

That's his problem.

If I don't give at least six guys my telephone number today,

it's going to be a wasted day.

They never call anyway.

That's not true. They always call.

Call, call, call, call.

That's all they ever do.

How will you find her?

I don't know.

But it better be before dark.

Well, your clothes aren't dry yet.

I've worn wet clothes before.

Nothing new to me.

Got to go, got to go.

Any friend of ours doesn't have to wear wet clothes.

I'll be right back.

He's not our friend.

He's your friend.

I'm not going to get grounded over this.

Shut up.

Last time we got grounded, we were two.

We have to help Joshua find his girl.

It'd help if you had a car, wouldn't it?

I suppose.

Thanks for coming.

Coast is clear.

Hey, that's the guy I ran over this morning.

Now he looks like a lawyer or something, like a real guy.

He is a real guy.

I don't know why you're doing this, but good luck.

[music playing]

MALE SINGER: Well, I've been searching

all day on this hot July, around every corner

for a girl for this guy.

I'm looking in the station, searched on every beach.

I cannot find her.

[inaudible]

Have you seen Noreen?

MAN: No, who's Noreen?

If you see her, tell her Joshua's looking for her.

MAN: Who's Noreen?

MALE SINGER: Hot, hot, hot July.

Announce it on the radio.

Ask everyone on the street.

Help me find her.

Yeah, I'm looking for a woman on the Fourth of July,

who'll light me up in the summer sky.

I look on every corner if that's what

it's gonna take to find her.

[inaudible] on this hot, hot, hot July,

this hot, hot, hot, hot July.

Announce it on the radio, ask anyone on the street,

help me find her.

Whoa.

It's a hot, hot, hot, hot July.

It's a hot, hot, hot, hot July.

It's hot, hot, hot, hot July.

It's a hot, hot, hot, hot July.

Noreen?

[music playing]

JOSHUA: I'll never find her.

BRIDGET: Yes, you will.

You just have to be positive.

WILLIAM: Your fathers gonna kill me.

BRIDGET: Drive or I'll kill you. JOSHUA: Wait.

I think I know where she might be.

There's a bridge.

Make a right and then a right at the dead end.

Noreen.

[inaudible] don't touch me.

It's me, Joshua.

Joshua?

What are you doing in this part of town?

Well, I was looking for you.

This is where we met.

I was worried sick about you.

I thought the worst.

I'm all right.

I'm fine.

What?

Did you win the lotto?

Almost.

I got hit by a car.

It was an accident.

Who are these people?

They're my friends.

They took care of me.

I took care of you for five years,

you miserable unappreciative jackass.

Hey.

I thought you left me.

Don't you ever leave me again like that, Joshua.

I need you so much.

I'll never leave you again, I promise.

[laughter]

Oh, this is William and Bridget.

Hi.

Thanks guys for bringing him home.

Thanks again.

If you're ever in the neighborhood,

feel free to drop in.

- You're welcome. - Thanks, Josh.

Good luck.

Bye.

Bye.

- I was so scared. - Oh baby.

I missed you.

[laughter]

Gosh.

They look so all alone out there.

Yeah.

They're going to catch a death of cold out there, William.

Yeah.

They look so in love.

I wonder if they actually do it in that cardboard box.

You animal.

Why?

Shut up, creep.

How much money have you got?

None.

Your father hasn't paid me yet.

Men.

Venessa's right.

The only thing they're good for is sex.

Now somebody's got to help those people out.

I want to take them home with us.

What? Are you crazy?

Your father's going to go nuts.

You're right.

Help me figure out a way around him.

You know, Bridget, maybe those people are

better off where they're at.

Who could be happy out there?

With talk like that, you could end up sleeping in the street.

Sorry, I'm perfectly happy where I'm sleeping.

I'll do anything you say.

All right, here's the plan.

Venessa, you have to help me out.

Why should I?

I'll give you my new [inaudible] skirt.

Deal.

What the hell are they doing here?

And why is that bum wearing my jacket?

I can explain.

And my shoes and my pants.

You better.

Your mother is waiting for me upstairs, so talk slow.

Dad, the need to stay here as our guests for one month.

What?

How about two weeks?

No.

Don't give them a damn thing.

Give them whatever they want.

Of course.

Two weeks, Dad.

Not one second more.

In exchange for them to drop the lawsuit--

What lawsuit?

Hit and run.

He's threatening to sue.

Sue?

Ahuh.

OK.

They can stay two weeks, not one minute more, starting now.

WOMAN: Harry!

Coming dear.

Oh thank God, it's only one day a year.

Follow us.

I'll show you to your room.

I was starting to worry.

I thought maybe--

You look beautiful.

That's very pretty.

Thanks.

The girls gave it to me.

Do you think we're doing the right thing?

I mean, once we step on this side again,

it's so hard to go back.

Let's try it.

The girls are giving us this chance.

I think I'm ready to join it again.

Join the rat race, get a job, and buy insurance, and vote,

cheat lie.

As long as we're together, everything's gonna be fine.

Oh baby, money changes things.

I have money.

Yeah, but every time you get to 10,000,

you give it to Food for America.

You never buy anything with it.

I buy you cigarettes.

Oh shush.

Come on.

You're worried about nothing.

I got a surprise for you.

Close your eyes.

Come on.

Close your eyes.

OK, OK.

[guitar playing]

Where's your old one?

It got run over.

Oh.

Bridget gave me this one.

Are you sweet on her?

She could be our daughter.

Still not too late.

I love you.

I love you.

(SINGING) Listen, little Noreen.

Please listen to me careful.

Why flood so many eyes with tears, when you can bring

one heart love and laughter?

Listen, little Noreen.

Please listen to me careful.

I am laying down a law that you had better not defy,

give them all a farewell party, I'm taking over that's no lie.

You just get yourself together now.

I'm back on the scene once again, back on the scene

once again, I'm back on the scene once again.

Listen, little Noreen.

Please listen to me careful.

You've broken many innocent hearts,

but no more from here on after.

Listen, little Noreen.

Please listen to me careful.

I want a mask on your face when you

walk out on the street, disguise that come on voice of yours.

If you should have to speak, you just get yourself together now.

I'm back on the scene once again.

Back on the scene once again.

I'm back on the scene once again.

Those little rare things you possess

can blow any human mind.

You drive a man through hell.

I've been listening--

[screaming]

Back on the scene once again.

I'm back on the scene once again.

Back on the scene once again.

I'm back on the scene once again.

[music playing]

Yeah, right.

Throw the ball.

Are you OK?

I'm fine.

Where's Noreen?

Sleeping like a newborn.

I didn't have the heart to wake her.

So what are you going to do today?

Hit the city, look for work, maybe a place to stay.

What kind of work?

Handyman, you know, jack of all trades, master of none.

Is that what you did all your life?

In between singing.

You sing?

Oh my god.

I write and sing songs.

Why don't you look for a singing job?

If it was that easy, I probably wouldn't

be talking to you right now.

Bridget, can I ask you to do me a favor?

All you have to do is ask.

Noreen is not used to getting up without me.

Maybe if you went back to the house in a little bit--

I'm leaving now.

Don't worry.

I'll be with her.

Thanks.

You've been a great friend.

I appreciate it.

All right.

See you.

- Good luck. - Thanks.

I'm going to need it.

Hey, thanks for the guitar.

Joshua.

Yeah.

The ball.

Whoa.

What's your name?

OK, I'll shut up.

Slave, you've won for 30 minutes

and not one second more with my beautiful goddess like body

to feast on with your eyes.

My sumptuous 36, 22, 34, statuesque figure

is yours to drool, saver, dream, and stare

at in the sick wanting way that fitting

of your low life stature of a slave.

You disgusting pig!

And if you're a good little pig of a slave--

squeal for me.

Come on, squeal like a pig.

[squealing]

I will allow you to kiss it.

If the price is right.

[squealing]

Oh, Harry.

Good morning.

Good morning.

So you homeless person.

Yes.

You pretty homeless person.

Thank you.

If you need anything while you stay here, just ask.

I help you.

Thanks.

How husband doing?

Oh he's not--

he's fine.

Put that back, white boy.

White man, to you.

Good morning.

Good morning.

It's more like good afternoon.

Where's Joshua?

Don't worry.

He'll be back.

He went to the city to find a job.

Want some orange juice?

I'll get that for you, ma'am.

Take a break, Edward.

I have hands.

Are you sure you girls aren't adopted?

That's what I always say.

Can I ask you a personal question?

How'd I become homeless?

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to be nosy.

It's OK.

I was a schoolteacher.

The city cut back on the budgets, and I lost my job.

I was living from check to check,

and school teachers don't make that much money anyway,

and before I got another job, I was evicted.

So then I lived in my car for a few months.

Then I had to sell that so I could eat.

You know, when you haven't got much, and you're alone,

it doesn't take much.

I've called everyone, and we're all set for the party.

Now I'm going to go to the beach for a while.

I'll go back to the guest house.

No, you have to come with us.

Are you ready?

Where are we going?

When's your birthday?

I really don't remember.

I do.

How do you know when her birthday is?

It's today.

Oh I get it.

Better than the beach.

Happy birthday.

[music playing]

Harry, time to work out.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, not even for these.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

100 push-ups, now.

Last time, you only got to one, wimp.

I hope you've been working.

One--

[screaming]

[music playing]

Bridget, where's Noreen?

[laughter]

You be stylin'.

How'd it go, babe?

It's strange.

I put in a few applications here and there.

It's tough when your last date of employment

is five years ago.

So what did girls do today?

Oh the girls took me shopping.

- They did? - They did.

We had such a good time.

You didn't pick up on any cute boys, did you?

No, but we got a few winks and whistles.

I bet.

[laughter]

How about playing a song for us, Mr. guitar man?

Sure.

[guitar playing]

(SINGING) You got ears, I got ears.

Ears are made to listen.

A mouth ain't made to [inaudible]..

Lips can be used for kissing.

You need love.

I need love.

This is where you're going to get your thrill.

Hang on to a feather and fly with me

and start living it up, living it up, living it up on my hill.

You're no fool.

I'm no fool, and they're ain't a bit of use in lying.

You want it bad, and it's yours to have.

That's the only honest truth I'm buying.

Come on girl, and enjoy yourself.

Let your hair down at your will.

We can have a good thing going on.

Start living it up, living it up, living it up on my hill.

You got feet.

I got feet, and there's bound to be some squawking.

If we can't see eye to eye, feets are made for walking.

You got a heart, and I got a heart,

and we can use it to forgive.

We can patch it up together again,

start living it up, living it up, living it up on my hill.

You're no fool.

I'm no fool.

And they're ain't a bit of use in lying.

Hey, I knew that was Joshua.

I thought so, too.

Come on.

Let's go get the others.

(SINGING) Come on girl and enjoy yourself.

Let your hair down at your will.

We can have a good thing going on.

Start living it up, come on, living it up,

yeah, living it up on my hill, living it up,

come on, living it up, living it up on my hill,

living it up, living it up, living it up on my hill.

A lot of love now, living it up, living it up, living it up

on my hill with a smile yeah, living it up, living it up,

living it up on my hill.

[cheering]

Harry, we're going to tie you.

No, no, no, no.

Harry, not even for this?

OK.

Executioner, tie him.

Tie his hands.

Tie his feet.

Tie his tied hands to his tied feet tight.

Tie his tightly tied feet to his neck.

Hog tie the piggy, ooh.

Tighter.

Tie his tied tight hands that are tied tightly to his neck

to the tip of his toes.

Tie his testicles tightest.

[screaming]

- What? - Looky, looky.

I can look.

Who are all these dirty, smelly people?

Well, they're my friends.

I mean, I don't know they're doing here.

Look if you want, I'll ask them to leave.

Your friends are our friends, right Venessa?

I think your spool is unwinding.

Althea, put another shrimp on the barbie.

Kind of burnt, ain't it?

Shut up and eat, you ingrate.

Hey, those are my golf clubs!

Hey, what's going on here?

Get off of my lawn.

Put down my golf clubs!

Give that to me!

It's not yours! It's not!

Give it back to me! - Hong!

Give it back!

Hong, what, are you crazy?

I fix the lawn, and I fix it, [inaudible]..

This is my house, Hong, not theirs, my house, my house!

Out!

Out!

All of you, O-U-T, out of my house!

Think he's upset?

What makes you think that?

I want you out of my house now.

It's our house, too.

Yeah.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

I pay for this house!

Me, me, M-E. Not you.

You live here.

I let you live here.

Get out of my house.

Sir, they are your daughters.

Sometimes I wonder.

You stay out of this.

This is none of your business.

Don't forget the lawsuit.

Oh no, I got witnesses, witnesses

who saw him dancing and eating my food and drinking.

He's fine.

There's no lawsuit.

I want you out, O-U-T. Go, out!

They go, we go.

We do?

We do.

Yeah, don't do that.

We have to.

What do you say, Dad?

Well, don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.

O-U-T, out, go.

You're done, finished, that's it, goodbye, gone,

[inaudible] out, go, out!

That's it, goodbye.

Out.

Go on, go, out.

I want everybody out.

Come on, come on.

Everybody out.

Get out.

Give me that. [inaudible]

Out.

Give me that soda.

I want all you people out.

Give me that weenie right over here.

That's my weenie, not yours.

Give it to me right here.

Out. Thank you.

Yes, let's get out.

Everybody out.

Out, out, out!

I want you out!

Out, out, out.

STU: And for an extra $100, we'll throw

in these luscious spiked pumps.

Don't even order them.

Don't even ask for them.

You'll get them anyway.

All right now, I want you to order them for your daughters,

your sons, your transsexuals, your bisexuals,

your cross dressers, your--

just order them for the whole damn family.

[inaudible]

I wish Stu Stocker would touch me like that.

MAN: Next item.

To hell with the next item.

What is this crap anyway?

You expect me to sell this?

Get out of here.

Go away.

Baby.

Oh I want to look like Bubbles.

Hello, Cari.

Hi, it's Marilyn.

Yes, give me one in every color, maroon Monday,

turquoise Tuesday.

Oh just give me a dozen of every color you have, every color.

Yes, yes, even every one with the spiked heels.

And if that credit card doesn't go through, I have others.

What the hell kind of a mother are you?

How could you allow those kids to bring

all those people in here?

Yes, also give me a half dozen of the compact hairdryers,

the assorted pack.

They don't understand responsibility.

I should have never listened to you.

I should have had them working at 10 years old.

Please don't forget the free chocolates I get.

I've kicked them all out, the kids, too.

Maybe now we can get some sleep.

Did you hear me?

Yes, dear.

You kicked the kids out.

Are we going to make love tonight, big boy?

No. I've got work in the garage.

Wear a condom please.

- It's business. - Yes, dear.

I know.

Yes, I'll take 50 of item 117 in every color,

12 of the Velvet Elvis portraits in the witness protection

program, 20 sets of Tammy Faye eyelashes,

70 flamingo lawn statues, 40 weed

whackers, 70 pounds of down feathers,

and throw in a ton of manure! Thank you.

I feel dirty.

Do you want to help me do the wash, gringo?

Si.

[music playing]

Oh, stop staring at me!

This is horrible.

Somebody farted.

This is not exactly a Girl Scout weekend.

Where am I going to plug my curling iron in in the morning?

Poor baby.

I'm sorry, girls.

I got you into this.

It was our decision.

Don't blame yourself.

It was your decision.

Listen, I'm tired of hearing you complain.

If you don't like it, go home.

Go home?

Yeah, go home.

That's what he wants us to do, go crawling back,

begging for forgiveness.

Go become a part of his decadent lifestyle.

But he kicked us out.

You know and I know it would take father at least

a week to even realize you were home again.

We'd be home right now if you didn't lose your mind.

Not crazy.

I'm not!

I'm perfectly happy out here.

I don't want to be home.

I love the smell of garbage in the evenings.

I think she's nuts.

I'd have to say after the last few days, I agree with you.

I got us into this, and I'll get us out.

Dammit.

What's the matter?

I broke my name.

Go home.

But it's raining.

Go home or shut up.

Don't those things move?

I'm almost home, my hair!

The prodigal daughter has returned.

The other one can't be far behind.

Victory is mine.

Senor, senor, is it in yet, senor?

MAN: Stu, we're on.

Oh, cultured pearls, ladies, originally priced at $900.

We're going to put them on sale for a low, low, low.

How low?

STU: We're going to cut it in half.

450?

STU: And in half.

225?

STU: And in half again.

112.50?

Now, if you're one of the first 100 lucky callers,

we're going to give it to you for a low, low, low--

How low?

How low?

$99.

$99.

God, I love you. STU: Buy them know.

Order a dozen.

Give me them as gifts.

Now, they all come in a cheap cardboard gift

box of a low price of $89--

89?

Did I say $89?

MAN: Yes, you did, Stu.

STU: Oh, well OK.

I'll keep my word now, for a measly $79, shut my mouth,

but that is a savings of $821.

Whoa.

Pearls, Bubbles.

Sorry, Stu.

Operator I need you to break in right now.

It's an emergency phone call.

It's a matter of life and death.

[music playing]

Buenos dias.

Watch out.

[music playing]

Father, Father.

What do you want?

I guess you want some money.

I suppose you came back to beg for a credit card or two.

I presume you think I'm paying for your college this fall.

Well, this man who stands before you isn't that forgiving.

You've got to earn my money, and even then, I don't know

if I'm going to give it to you.

You wasted my food and my beverages

to the tune of $2,385.

And until you get a job and pay me back every dime,

I don't want to see you!

Just wanted to say how nice it was to be home.

These damn homeless people are haunting me.

I'll fix their asses.

Give me the district attorney's office.

WOMAN: (ON PHONE) District attorney's office.

Let me speak to the DA.

WOMAN: (ON PHONE) One moment please, sir.

I'll teach them to sleep on my damn doorstep.

They don't know who I am.

I've got connections in this town.

District Attorney, Clarice Matthews.

Good morning, District Attorney Matthews.

Go on.

[squealing]

And Mistress Clarice.

This reminds me of going to baseball games as a kid.

My dad always used to get me hot dogs, hot dogs

and the smell of cigars.

I knew it was springtime.

I once had a try out with the New York Yankees once.

Yeah, it was a long time ago.

I could hit the ball a country mile.

That's before the car accident took my legs.

Realize all I can do is play baseball.

But you can't play ball without your legs.

Oh a little [inaudible].

[laughter]

Well, you remember the crash.

Yeah, which one?

Black Monday.

Black Monday was charcoal Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,

Thursday, and just never stopped getting blacker.

Looked like a cotton field.

Hey, hey, hey.

You don't have to make this a black thing, you know?

Oh I didn't mean any disrespect.

Sound like disrespect to me.

I was just making a point.

Here they go again.

- Take it back. - Take it back.

Take it back.

You take it back.

Apologize.

Apologize.

That's right, apologize.

Hey, you don't sell Sammy what to do.

Nobody tells Sammy what to do.

Come on lay off her.

Stop goofing on her.

She didn't mean any harm.

Don't get involved with these guys.

They are the best of friends.

They fight and scream all the time, but they love each other.

They'd give the shirt off their backs if the other needed it.

Ain't that right?

[interposing voices]

Has anyone seen Joshua?

Who's looking for him?

Joshua!

Venessa.

[interposing voices]

What do you want?

I came to say I'm sorry, and I was wrong.

Are you staying?

I've got a plan.

Here we go again.

[music playing]

JOSHUA: Where we going?

BRIDGET: You'll see.

WOMAN: Can't we just stay in the limo?

BRIDGET: Limos don't have cable.

Move over.

Let me plug my curling iron in.

Here we are.

It's a little dusty, but at least it's safe and warm,

and it doesn't smell.

What is this place?

It was our father's first business.

When he closed it down, he said he'd never sell or rent it.

It was a neighborhood restaurant.

When I was eight years old, I used to make

myself burgers in the back.

I was too little.

So I had to stand on a milk crate and watch.

Believe it or not, our father was

a really nice guy at one time.

Every Thanksgiving, he would open up

and feed people for free.

And our mother used to help him out.

Then he made a few small business deals.

With the money in the right places, his sweat and hard work

paid off.

The money rolled in.

Daddy became Father.

I can't remember the last time he tucked

me in and kissed me goodnight.

Boy, with a little work, this place could be something.

The bar is beautiful.

What did you say?

The bar is beautiful.

No, Noreen, Joshua.

I said with a little work, this place could be something.

Yeah, but what?

Leave that to me.

Could you really do something in here?

Overnight with a little help of friends,

we could have this place in business.

Who would work here?

We know a lot of people looking for work.

It's going to cost money.

We got the credit cards.

Mom maxed them out.

I couldn't even get gas today.

Can you imagine that?

You think this is good charity?

Right now, the best.

Look, don't you sweethearts worry.

We're in business.

[music playing]

MALE SINGER: I was born a soldier

of fortune in a [inaudible] that had no name.

He was born in the streets of the city,

growing up and raising Cain.

My daddy tried to make me a man, but Mama loved her little boy.

Run away as fast as you can.

Then put you down like a broken toy.

Time flies when you're alive, so come on.

Time flies when you're alive, so come on.

Well, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do to survive.

And as I walk the streets of darkness,

fallen angels everywhere.

Suddenly, I hear them singing.

Forgotten children stop and stare.

Living on the razor's edge, never satisfied.

I think about the things she said.

[inaudible] say goodbye.

Time flew when you're alive, so come on.

Time flies when you're alive, so come on.

Well, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do what

a man's gotta do to survive.

Sitting on the razor's edge, never satisfied.

I think about the things she said [inaudible]

and say goodbye.

Time flies when you're alive, so come on.

Time flies when you're alive, so come on.

How you holding up, Bridget?

I'll make it.

Fighters always do.

Good, because the hard part is over.

No, the hard part is ahead.

It's no party without people to party with.

They'll come.

And if they don't, don't worry about the money.

It really means nothing to me.

Seeing this place like this and giving

our friends some work and a place to sleep

makes it all worth it. - Come on, guys.

Let's get some sleep.

It's a big night tomorrow night.

Yes.

Did you get all the fliers out?

Every last one.

Good.

Venessa.

Venessa.

Are we going to the beach now?

What kind of entertainment are we going to have?

You know, people aren't going to hang

out to hear me play my guitar.

If people come, they'll stay.

Entertainment's my life.

[chatter]

MAN: Ladies and gentlemen, what you've been waiting for,

Mark Mason and Ampage.

[cheering]

[music playing]

Girls, girls bring out the drinks.

You've [inaudible].

Mother's milk, honey, I've got to keep these puppies up.

Trouble in ladies room.

- Where's Bridget? - She's busy.

She's busy.

You plunge.

I must go.

Anita.

Would you get rid of that guy?

Dump this dummy over my shoulder, would you?

[inaudible]

Don't you people do these kind of things?

Blow it out your ass, Venessa.

MALE SINGER: Don't know where he hides, black and cold baby--

Your presence is required in the kitchen.

What's wrong?

Fire!

[screaming]

Just a little one.

Ew.

MALE SINGER: The beast inside, it's eating me alive.

Old recipe of my grandfather's burned a whole village down

once, but stuff tastes great.

Wonder what they ate.

Not bad.

(SINGING) She's got long, black hair and eyes like a cat.

Manicured nails, dressed in black.

She's a mystery.

She's queen of the night.

She purrs like a kitten in the middle of the night.

You know the night drives her fever.

The moon sparks her soul.

The street lights are fire is burning out of control.

She's a pussy cat.

Dance, pussy cat.

Dance, pussy cat.

Dance to the beat of my heart.

She's my pussy cat.

Kitty, kitty, kitty, oh, you're looking so pretty.

You're a tiger in the streets, prowling through the city.

Like a cat with nine lives, you always land on your feet.

Chasing after you like a dog in heat.

You know the night drives her fever.

The moon sparks her soul.

The street lights are fire is burning out of control.

She's my pussy cat.

Dance, pussy cat.

Dance, pussy cat.

Dance to the beat of my heart.

She's my pussy cat.

Want to be my agent?

Give the people what they want.

Give them lots of it.

I hope they don't all get up and walk

out with me and my little guitar all alone out there.

You'll never be alone with a friend like me.

Just close your eyes and sing.

Sing from the heart.

OK, one more quick question before we get going here.

Why do women have the brains in their heads?

Because we don't have a penis.

OK, you guys ready for some fun?

Great, because let me introduce you to Mr. Joshua Street.

[cheering]

He can't do it.

He'll be fine.

[music playing]

(SINGING) A lonely man inside a boy,

first to build and then destroy.

He hides behind a wall of pain, but still

the song remains the same.

Your love gave me wings to fly.

Your love gave me wings to fly.

Your love gave me wings to fly.

Your love gave me wings to fly.

Your love gave me wings to fly.

Your love gave me wings to fly.

Your love gave me wings to fly.

Sing it with me now, baby.

Your love gave me wings to fly.

Take my hand now, bay.

Your love gave me wings to fly.

Such a strong love, baby.

Your love gave me wings to fly.

[sirens]

Your love gave me wings to fly.

Your love gave me wings to fly.

Arrest them.

I want these guys arrested right now.

They haven't done anything wrong.

I don't care.

Arrest them all Let's go, you guys.

Where are you going?

Arrest these guys right here.

Arrest them all.

Arrest this guy-- wait a minute.

Come on over here and arrest them.

Who's that jerk?

[cheering]

[whistles]

All right.

Who's in charge here?

We are, my sister and I.

Well, look, you've got 15 minutes

to evacuate the premises, or you'll all be under arrest.

You're operating without a business license,

operating without a liquor license,

and operating on a premises that is not your.

Breaking and entering and grand theft.

I can't believe you're doing this.

I thought you'd be proud of us.

It's for your own good, so you don't waste your life.

We're doing something with our lives, the way you started.

Times are a little different, but the idea's the same.

We're helping others while learning

to help ourselves instead of at the expense of others.

Doesn't that count for something?

You guys have been handed everything on a silver platter.

This place is worth $200,000, plus all the credit cards.

Money doesn't grow on trees.

Now, that is a lesson.

We'd like to buy this place.

And we have a down payment.

Can we start with 8,000?

It's not enough.

Sorry.

Look, we've all worked too hard now to lose it.

I'd consider maybe 10%.

Hey, wait a minute.

I've got 2,000.

We have worked too hard to give it up now.

I've got $2,000, too.

I was saving to go back to Mexico,

but I think I found a home right here.

Nice try, but your $8,000 short.

Now I want everybody out, everyone out.

Let's go.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Let's go. Out.

Everyone.

Hold on.

Hold everything.

Hi, kids.

[gasps]

Hi, Mom.

She spoke to us.

She left the house.

I still own half of everything you

own, at least half the last time I checked with my lawyer.

Isn't that right, District Attorney Clarice Matthews?

Yes, ma'am.

And I have temporary licenses for the girls

to operate business for as long as they wish.

[cheering]

Well, you all have a good evening.

Let's go, boys.

And good evening, Mrs., I mean District Attorney Matthews.

Don't think you're going to get away with this.

You, come to my chambers.

You ever want to lick the soles of my shoes

again, read this to those wonderful daughters of yours.

Yes, Mistress Clarice.

Harry, squeal like a pig.

[squealing]

Just read it.

I was wrong.

I will never be a bad father again.

I have been despicable.

I don't need this to talk to my daughters.

I'm sorry, girls.

I guess I've been a real bad father lately, haven't I?

For 10 years.

Yeah, for 10 years.

I'm really proud of both of you.

You've done a great job with this place, all of you.

It's all yours.

You've earned it.

[cheering]

And?

And I'll try to be a better father.

I want to be your dad, not a father.

It's been so long since I had a hug from you guys.

Why don't you come on up here and give me a hug?

[cheering]

All right, everybody party!

[cheering]

[music playing]

(SINGING) Low, low, low, low, low, low , low.

Ask me, Stu, how low can you go?

Stu, how low can you go?

Well, you ought to know.

I've been dancing in the light.

I was a midget in a past life.

And believe me, I know what low is.

Now it's 69.69, and that is something to get excited about,

69 bikinis for 69.69.

Bikinis, bikinis, bikinis, bikinis, bikinis, bikinis,

bikinis, bikinis, bikinis.

Oh, Bubbles.

You are not going to need Stu anymore.

Daddy's home.

You're not going to need this anymore.

You're the executioner?

I'd rather just be your wife.

Come here, wife.

[music playing]