Original subtitles

When it comes to dating, most women have a wish list

of what they're looking for.

I have a list of what to look out for.

Ooh. Arrogance. Selfishness.

And the biggest red flag is:

if he locks eyes with you and he looks at you

like a cheetah looks at a gazelle, run.

I bet you came up with that list after your divorce.

You're right.

Ladies, you want to look for a fireplace,

not fireworks.

What?

No, you didn't. Drop the mic, girl.

(both laugh)

And on that note, we gonna take some calls.

Poppa's House. Holla at your boy.

FELICIA (over phone): Hi, I'm a fireworks girl myself.

Kapow.

(laughs) Well, listen... Mom,

is that you?

Yes, baby.

I wanted to remind you

of my graduation party on Saturday.

I didn't forget.

I told you I'm gonna be there.

Is this the Mrs. Reed?

Listen, congratulations on getting your master's.

Thank you, Poppa.

You know, I saw you rock a party

at the Audubon Ballroom

when you were DJ Sweet D.

Listen, I don't know

if you have a DJ already, but I would be honored

if you'd let me DJ your party. (whispers): No.

(gasps)

That would be on

like hot butter on...

♪ Pop-a-pop-a-popcorn. ♪

What are you doing?

Listen, your mom is cool.

And maybe she'll give me some embarrassing stories about you.

Well, did you know she was a virgin until her...?

Bye, Felicia!

You just bye-Felicia'd your mom?

No, Felicia is her actual name.

In that case, bye, Felicia.

♪ Poppa's ♪

♪ House ♪

♪ Yeah. ♪

Trey, we are so proud of you for getting straight As

at Buckingham. Thanks, Mom.

Are you sure this party is gonna be as good as Joey's?

It's not a competition, Trey.

Yes, it is. Yes, it is.

Joey had a petting zoo with a lion cub and a baby rhino.

We got to top that.

Oh, we gonna top that, all right?

I bet Joey's never been to a Dragon Ball party.

And there's gonna be

sushi... Sushi?

We're Black. We like our fish fried.

Okay, darling!

(laughs, grunts)

But who needs a petting zoo

when you have your favorite anime superhero?

Goku!

And Chichi?

JUNIOR: Yeah! We're going all out.

You guys are lucky. When I was growing up,

my dad was so cheap, instead of Spider-Man,

he had ManMan show up.

ManMan?

How did he get his superpowers?

He got bit by a homeless guy at a bus stop.

That's sad. JUNIOR: Yes.

It's very sad, which is why your party is gonna be

the best party of the year.

NINA: The year?

Try century.

I want to make Joey's mom froth with jealousy.

Well, I hope so, because Joey's gonna write a review.

A review?

("Back That Thang Up" by Juvenile playing)

♪ Girl, you look good ♪

♪ Won't you back that thang up ♪

♪ Youse a big fine woman ♪

♪ Won't you back that thang up... ♪

POPPA: All right, y'all,

throw your hands in the air! (scratching)

Wave them like you just don't care.

And if you're with someone,

you're having fun,

somebody say, "Oh, yeah!"

ALL: Oh, yeah!

There he is.

♪ Back that thang up... ♪

Hello.

You know you are more beautiful

than Ivy described.

Oh, aren't you the charmer?

(laughs) Well.

It's the "Sweet" in Sweet D.

I bet I know what the "D" stands for.

Damon.

Well, D, my name is Felicia,

but you can call me Felicious.

Well, I got to get back to the music,

Felicious, and I will see you around.

See you around, D.

(chuckles)

Stand up straight, baby.

You look like a question mark.

And, please, stop dressing like a public defender.

Mom. Can we just have fun?

I'm only trying to help you,

but you never want to listen to me.

That's why you're still single.

How do you know?

You got another Internet boyfriend?

Somebody catfishing you again?

No. Maybe he's real... this time.

Well, whoever he is,

he can't compare to your ex-husband, David.

I sure would have loved some grandbabies from you two.

Ooh, with his eyes

and your legs, you could make

some beautiful girls. Mom,

David and I are happily divorced.

Just please go enjoy your party.

(whispering)

Blech!

Oh! Um...

Ivy, could you please go help Aunt Bertha in the restroom?

Her zipper got caught in her back fat.

That woman needs lipo or Velcro.

CHILDREN (chanting): Goku! Goku!

Goku!

Goku! Joey's here!

All right. Relax, son. He's just a normal kid, okay?

Oh, wow. That's a huge second-grader.

That's not him, Dad.

That's him.

Oh.

Hey, Joey. Thanks for coming to my party.

I hope you like it.

We shall see.

Jimothy?

Keep the limousine running.

Yes, Mr. Gentry.

Homemade decorations? How quaint.

Cookies obviously store-bought.

Couch looks IKEA. China is from China.

Deeply offended.

Hey, I smell fish. I hope it's fried.

Told you.

You promised Goku.

Yeah, he's on his way. NINA: Oh.

I'm sorry, kids. There's been a snafu.

Goku had some bad tofu.

He can't come 'cause he has to go poo.

I canceled jousting for this.

Jimothy, turn the seat heaters on.

Have "Baby Shark" cued up,

'cause I'm on my way out.

BOTH: Joey, no!

NINA: Don't go! Dad, this is a disaster.

JUNIOR: Um...

Oh, whoa! Wait. I just got a text from Goku.

Wow, he-he says,

"I am stuck between universes and I-95.

"But I'm Trey's protector so I'll move

heavens and Hyundais to be there!"

(gasps) Oh, my God!

"P.S.

"anyone who leaves that party shall be destroyed

"immediately by my Saiyan powers.

Especially Joey!"

How does he know I'm here?

(chuckling) I don't know.

Duh! He's the protector of the universe.

NINA: Uh, uh, babe?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, babe. There's another text.

Just came in. Whoa!

His wife Chichi is coming, too. (gasps)

(squealing)

Okay, hold up. Wait. Chichi?

Yeah. All right, we'll just, we'll talk about it upstairs.

Okay? Five minutes. For Goku.

Not you.

(slow music playing)

Oh, work with me here, Ivy.

I don't know what David's gonna think of you.

Please tell me you didn't invite my ex-husband!

Well, you invited my ex-husband everywhere.

He was my father!

Well, you know what?

If David is coming, I am leaving.

My mom invited my ex. So I'm out.

Wait, wait. Hold on, hold on.

You're a successful woman.

What you running for?

You don't understand. It's just,

when I see him, I just get all nervous.

And I start to stutter and I turn back

into that little naive girl that he can dah, dah, dah, dah, dah,

dah, dah... POPPA: Oh.

What are you being so nutty about? Dave.

(screams)

(stammers)

Diamond Dave. NFL champ.

Oh, my God! Superbowl champ.

(whimpers) Okay, pull yourself together!

That is my ex-husband.

David!

Hey, Felicious!

(both laughing)

Hello, Mushroom.

Hi, David.

Mushroom? That sounds like a fungus.

It's 'cause I grew on him.

Why doesn't he just call you tumor?

(chuckles)

Do I know you?

Oh-- Oh, uh, David, this is Poppa.

My partner on the podcast. DAVID: Oh, yeah, yeah.

She used to make me listen to your satellite radio show

and I was like, "Who is this clown?"

And she was like,

"You got to listen, he's a real one."

And I was like, "Is he?"

And then you stood up for the Central Park Five

and I was like,

"I like this clown."

Thanks, I think.

Look, I'm a real big fan of yours, man.

Your end zone dance, that was iconic.

(laughing)

That's it, but younger.

Okay. Well, you know what? I'm-a go hit the bathroom.

You got to give me an autograph before you leave.

All right, Poppa-razzi.

"Poppa-razzi." Funny.

You can go. Oh!

Damn, Mushroom.

You look good.

What are you, um, doing here?

Babe, I've changed.

I have.

I even went to therapy so I could understand

why I would leave someone as beautiful and special as you.

You really went to therapy?

Yes, yes, and I realized

when we were together, I was playing a character.

I wasn't walking in my truth.

I wrote that in one of my books!

"Walk In My Truth: Stop Playing a Character."

I know. I read it.

I read all your books.

You inspired me. (chuckles)

Ivy,

I want you to give us a second chance.

Okay.

David,

this is very sudden and, and, it's not that easy.

I mean, you broke me when you left.

I did everything for you.

I managed your career, I managed your whole life.

And I was there for you through your injury,

and then you just snatched the rug

right from under me. I know, Mush.

I had to leave. I was, I was holding you back.

Okay? I got caught up.

The money, the fame, the parties...

You forgot about the women.

No, I didn't. I think about them every night.

Listen...

There's only one woman who ever really mattered to me,

and that's you, Mushy.

David, you always know the right things to say,

I just wish that I could trust that it was real.

Then let me prove it.

I found these investors.

They want to open up your wellness retreat.

The Mushroom Center?

Yes. Yes. The one we dreamed about.

Look, I, uh, I bought some property in Mexico.

They're ready to break ground.

Oh, my gosh.

David, I don't know what to say.

The only thing there is to say, and that's yes.

♪ Your love, your love... ♪

Okay.

Yes.

♪ Oh, babe ♪

♪ Your love ♪ Your love ♪

♪ Your love ♪

♪ Supernatural thing ♪ Supernatural ♪

♪ Oh, baby... ♪

CHILDREN (chanting): Goku.

(weakly): Goku. Goku.

(shouting, laughter)

Ha!

It is I, "Broku."

Broku? You said Goku was coming.

I'm more powerful than Goku.

Except I don't have a monkey tail

because that would be racist.

Sounds fake. Broku is sus.

Broku's not sus. You're sus.

I'm all-powerful.

Ha!

(grunts)

Crane. Ha!

Mantis. Ha!

Wax on, wax off.

Ha! (grunts)

Ah.

What a rip-off.

Let's trash this place.

Yeah, let's trash this place.

This is our place, fool.

NINA: That's right.

It is I, Chacha, wife of Loku.

Broku. Broku.

Yeah.

And none of you little rug rats

are trashing the realm of the Fulton kingdom.

♪ Dragon punch... ♪

Your dad sucks.

Uh...

That's not my dad. What?

You don't think I recognize him with that stupid blond wig on?

He's literally your dad.

(chants): Broku sucks.

CHILDREN (chanting): Broku sucks! Broku sucks!

(strains)

Weakening

from nonbelief.

Fight back.

Ah... CHILDREN: Broku sucks!

Sorry, guys, I failed you.

Especially you, Joey.

(whispers): Do something.

(shouts)

Uh...

Argh...

I didn't want it to have to come to this.

You should have never challenged me, young man.

Now witness my final form.

I'm gonna go Super-Duper-Saiyan.

(Junior shouting)

Whoa!

Super-duper-attaku!

(screaming, cheering)

Ah!

Break something else, Broku!

All right! Here. Come here, you.

Ah. (shouts)

(cheering)

♪ Dun, dun, dun. ♪

Whoa, no, no, no, no!

Fool, that was a wedding gift.

So what?

(shouts) (cheering)

Ah!

NINA: Oh, look,

your first directing clapboard.

No. Not that.

Ah! No!

Let's go!

♪ Everybody was kung fu fighting ♪

♪ Those cats were fast as lightning... ♪

Wah!

Yah! (cheering)

♪ In fact, it was a little bit frightening... ♪

Yah!

♪ They fought with expert timing... ♪

Ha, ha!

♪ Oh, ho... ♪

Wah! Yah!

(laughter)

Wah!

CHILDREN (chanting): Broku! Broku!

Broku! Broku!

(screams)

Broku! Broku! Broku!

Broku! Broku!

(children screaming)

Broku! Broku! Broku!

Is Broku okay?

I definitely have a concussion, but, uh...

if he's happy, I'm happy.

Hey, Trey,

your dad's pretty cool.

Disregard previous notes.

This has been the best party of the year.

Did you hear that, babe?

Joey thinks I'm pretty cool.

I think so, too, babe.

Yeah, but Joey thinks I'm pretty cool.

Thanks, Mom and Dad.

This was the best party ever.

Aww. NINA: Aww.

(laughs softly)

Broku needs a CAT scan.

Hey, man, congratulations.

Oh, yeah, man.

Mmm.

I'm sorry about your little podcast.

What do you mean? Well, Ivy and I are moving to Mexico,

so she's not gonna be able to do it anymore, but...

I've heard your show, and you won't miss her.

Well, if, you know, y'all happy and in love,

then I'm happy for both of y'all.

Oh, it ain't about love, brother.

No, this is about me

rebranding my image.

Oh... See,

back in my bad boy phase, I lost a lot of endorsements.

Magic Shine for Men, remember that one?

Mm-mm. ♪ Magic shine for men ♪

♪ You got that glow, baby ♪

♪ Magic shine for men. ♪

Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah, yeah.

So, Ivy gives me credibility.

Yeah. If she can forgive me...

so will my fans.

You got it all figured out.

Yep.

Want to do a shot?

Whoa. Mm.

Of what? You?

If you can handle this.

Oh, well...

do mind if I don't. (chuckles)

Thank you. Thank you. Yep.

Thank you.

Hey. Shot o'clock.

My favorite time of day, baby.

(chuckles)

(laughs) Man, clown,

you better shut your bearded mouth.

Hey, man, so, so, like,

what else you got up your sleeve, champ?

BOTH: Hmm...

(both laugh)

Y-You're not gonna say anything, right?

I won't say nothing. (hiccups)

These investors won't take me without her. Oh!

What? (both laugh)

Her and her huge following from The Dr. Reed Show.

(sniffles) So all I got to do is play the game,

and I am back in the good graces

Ah... of corporate America.

Ah! And that

is where the dough is at.

(both laugh) The "dough," I get it.

(laughs)

(slurring): Oh, man, listen, listen, listen.

Can I tell you something?

Mm-hmm.

I'm not drunk.

And I'm telling Ivy everything you told me.

No. No. Yes. Yes.

Hey. Mm-hmm.

If you do, she's just gonna hate you.

And if I don't, I'll hate me.

Well, I didn't want it to have to come to this, bro, but...

Ivy, I need to talk to you about David.

Poppa, I got this.

I don't need you meddling in my affairs.

Well, there's gonna be a lot of affairs

if I don't meddle.

I don't want to hear it.

I know, okay, then I won't tell you

that David doesn't love you and that he's using you.

I just won't say that, then.

You just don't want me to be happy.

Ever since I showed up,

you've been chasing me away,

and now that I want to go, you want me to stay.

Because I care about you.

And if you move to Mexico

with that clown, you're gonna be paying him alimony in pesos.

I don't believe you.

You're alone

and miserable,

and you just want me to be the same.

Okay, don't believe me.

Believe your eyes.

David!

Mm.

It's not what it looks like.

She tripped and fell on my lips.

♪

(knocking on door)

Hi.

Didn't think you'd ever come back.

Neither did I.

But I have to thank you

for being my friend.

Telling me the thing that I didn't want to hear.

You good?

Want to talk?

You want to talk?

I want to listen.

Feel like I've been hit by a truck.

You know, I just...

don't understand why,

at this point in my life, does this man cause me

to slip back into old behavior patterns?

It just feels like I'm...

never gonna fall in love again.

Yes, you will.

Why?

♪ You got the glow, baby

♪ Magic Shine For Men. ♪

(both laugh)

Marker.

Ah! (laughter)

Thanks, Mom and Dad.

This was the best party ever.

Aww.

Couldn't tell by that delivery. (laughs)

(screams)

Ah!

Oh! Hold on, hold on.

(shouts)

Captioning sponsored by CBS

and TOYOTA.

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org