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1
00:00:03,078 --> 00:00:04,670
Tyrannis:
Hey. Thanks again for the hogs.
2
00:00:04,821 --> 00:00:06,063
We go through them so fast,
3
00:00:06,065 --> 00:00:07,489
and you never have a hog
when you need one.
4
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,491
Asskill:
Well, I'm happy to help out.
5
00:00:09,568 --> 00:00:11,418
If I've got a spare hog
lying around, it's yours.
6
00:00:11,495 --> 00:00:14,087
Tyrannis: Oh, and, um, also,
thank you for not eating me.
7
00:00:14,089 --> 00:00:15,405
I don't say that enough.
8
00:00:15,424 --> 00:00:17,924
Oh, come on!
I'd never eat you.
9
00:00:18,001 --> 00:00:21,353
-You're all bone.
-I appreciate that.
10
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:22,596
Ooh! Caravan!
11
00:00:22,598 --> 00:00:24,431
We don't get many
travelers through here,
12
00:00:24,508 --> 00:00:27,860
and we certainly don't get
many pretty lady travelers.
13
00:00:27,936 --> 00:00:29,344
[Horse neighs]
14
00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,845
Hello there.
Welcome to the area,
15
00:00:30,847 --> 00:00:33,257
or as I like to call it...
the area.
16
00:00:33,259 --> 00:00:35,092
I'm sorry. I thought something
would come to me.
17
00:00:35,094 --> 00:00:37,685
Anyway, what brings you h-here?
18
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:40,688
I'm Sophie, these are my guys.
We're mapmakers.
19
00:00:40,766 --> 00:00:42,541
Map...makers.
20
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:45,102
Have you not heard of maps?
They're the next big thing.
21
00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:46,545
They help you find
where you're going.
22
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,272
Like, if you needed to
get from here to Thebes,
23
00:00:48,274 --> 00:00:50,123
how would you do that?
24
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:52,276
Well, I'd ask our finder.
We have this guy Casey.
25
00:00:52,278 --> 00:00:54,628
His whole job is just
knowing how to get places.
26
00:00:54,630 --> 00:00:56,055
He's not that great, though,
27
00:00:56,131 --> 00:00:57,389
unless you're looking
for a brothel.
28
00:00:57,466 --> 00:00:59,116
Oh, we have a great
finder--Loretta.
29
00:00:59,118 --> 00:01:00,634
Every city has a finder.
30
00:01:00,786 --> 00:01:02,728
Well, every city's finder
is about to kill themselves
31
00:01:02,805 --> 00:01:04,879
because this is a map.
32
00:01:04,899 --> 00:01:07,124
See? It shows mountains,
rivers, paths,
33
00:01:07,126 --> 00:01:09,217
and of course
all the important cities.
34
00:01:09,295 --> 00:01:11,311
And there we are.
We're an important city!
35
00:01:11,463 --> 00:01:14,073
I'm an important king!
Oh, shame.
36
00:01:14,075 --> 00:01:15,908
Looks like Killassas
didn't make it this time.
37
00:01:16,059 --> 00:01:18,485
I understand,
but they've come so far.
38
00:01:18,637 --> 00:01:20,895
-Oh, Killassas is on there.
-That's not Krapopolis?
39
00:01:20,973 --> 00:01:22,581
No. Krapopolis isn't on the map.
40
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,975
And Killassas is?!
It's barely a city!
41
00:01:24,993 --> 00:01:26,734
No offense.
42
00:01:26,736 --> 00:01:28,645
Hey. I'm selling these things.
To get on the map,
43
00:01:28,647 --> 00:01:30,814
a city has to have something
a traveler's gonna care about.
44
00:01:30,816 --> 00:01:32,149
We're a democracy!
45
00:01:32,167 --> 00:01:33,650
They're a city of cannibals!
46
00:01:33,652 --> 00:01:35,485
Again, no offense.
47
00:01:35,487 --> 00:01:37,321
It's the "no offense"
that's starting to bug me.
48
00:01:37,323 --> 00:01:39,598
City of cannibals is
exactly the kind of thing
49
00:01:39,675 --> 00:01:41,916
a traveler wants on the map
so they can steer clear.
50
00:01:41,994 --> 00:01:43,602
What about your city is
as useful to know
51
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,329
as "They eat people here"?
52
00:01:45,331 --> 00:01:47,439
We have a very nice place
to poo.
53
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,015
Everywhere has
a nice place to poo.
54
00:01:49,092 --> 00:01:50,925
Do you have a restaurant?
55
00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:52,502
-We could.
-Tell you what.
56
00:01:52,504 --> 00:01:54,095
We're coming back around
in a few days.
57
00:01:54,115 --> 00:01:55,856
If you've got a decent
restaurant by then,
58
00:01:55,932 --> 00:01:57,190
I'll put you on the map.
59
00:01:57,267 --> 00:01:59,860
-Restaurant.
-Hey. could you take
60
00:01:59,936 --> 00:02:01,453
our city off the map?
61
00:02:01,530 --> 00:02:04,030
-Travelers are 60% of our diet.
-Oh, I don't know.
62
00:02:04,032 --> 00:02:05,940
Travelers really
should be warned about--
63
00:02:05,942 --> 00:02:07,851
please remove us,
or we'll eat you.
64
00:02:07,853 --> 00:02:09,461
Will do!
65
00:02:26,129 --> 00:02:28,054
Singers: ♪ Huh huh huh huh
66
00:02:28,131 --> 00:02:32,192
♪ Huh huh huh whoo
67
00:02:35,972 --> 00:02:37,381
It's called a map,
68
00:02:37,383 --> 00:02:38,991
and it shows
where everything is.
69
00:02:39,067 --> 00:02:40,659
Casey's gonna kill himself.
70
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,386
That's the least
of our problems.
71
00:02:42,388 --> 00:02:44,329
I didn't mean that, Casey.
We'll find you another job.
72
00:02:44,406 --> 00:02:45,480
Casey: Ohh.
73
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,574
Why is it the least
of our problems?
74
00:02:47,576 --> 00:02:49,651
Because it shows
every significant city
75
00:02:49,728 --> 00:02:50,911
in the modern world
76
00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:52,562
with the notable
exception of mine.
77
00:02:52,564 --> 00:02:53,839
You mean ours.
78
00:02:53,990 --> 00:02:54,989
Deliria: I don't think mortals
should know
79
00:02:55,067 --> 00:02:56,400
where things are.
80
00:02:56,402 --> 00:02:58,084
It's more fun
to watch them wander.
81
00:02:58,086 --> 00:02:59,178
The cities who don't get on
this thing are
82
00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:00,587
going to be left in the dust.
83
00:03:00,589 --> 00:03:01,829
I have to be on it!
84
00:03:01,831 --> 00:03:03,256
-We.
-Look Kissuria's a city
85
00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:05,184
you can't even get to,
and it's on the map.
86
00:03:05,186 --> 00:03:07,335
Wait, that's
where Kissuria is?
87
00:03:07,337 --> 00:03:09,188
Past the Ice Mountains
of Death all the way
88
00:03:09,339 --> 00:03:11,172
on the other side
of the Uncrossable Chasm?
89
00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:12,916
I always thought
it was reachable.
90
00:03:12,918 --> 00:03:14,418
Well, now you know it's not,
91
00:03:14,420 --> 00:03:16,028
but what you don't know,
looking at this map,
92
00:03:16,179 --> 00:03:18,030
is that my city exists.
93
00:03:18,032 --> 00:03:19,847
-Our city.
-And that's why we're
94
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,107
opening a restaurant.
95
00:03:21,184 --> 00:03:22,517
Deliria: A restaurant?
96
00:03:22,519 --> 00:03:23,944
The thing where humans
go to eat
97
00:03:24,096 --> 00:03:25,779
as if they're worth
serving food to?
98
00:03:25,781 --> 00:03:27,597
I wouldn't be caught dead
in a restaurant.
99
00:03:27,599 --> 00:03:29,616
Shlub: I've been caught
dead in several.
100
00:03:29,768 --> 00:03:31,710
Tyrannis: Well, we need
a restaurant to get on the map,
101
00:03:31,787 --> 00:03:33,286
and Hippo's gonna be our chef.
102
00:03:33,439 --> 00:03:35,272
Hippocampus: Me?!
I'm not cooking for people!
103
00:03:35,274 --> 00:03:37,382
Oh, I forgot. You only care
about yourself.
104
00:03:37,459 --> 00:03:38,700
Correct.
105
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,052
Why did I think
that would work?
106
00:03:40,128 --> 00:03:41,536
Come on!
For once in your life,
107
00:03:41,538 --> 00:03:43,204
do something for the good
of the city.
108
00:03:43,282 --> 00:03:45,340
Oh. The city you can't stop
calling your city?
109
00:03:45,342 --> 00:03:46,892
What is there, some girl,
110
00:03:46,969 --> 00:03:48,301
some girl you're
trying to impress?
111
00:03:48,303 --> 00:03:49,953
If you're not
going to cook simply
112
00:03:49,955 --> 00:03:51,121
to make other people happy,
113
00:03:51,123 --> 00:03:52,622
how about I appeal to your ego?
114
00:03:52,624 --> 00:03:56,050
What if someone could be
the best at cooking?
115
00:03:56,128 --> 00:03:58,628
Well, obviously, it would be me.
116
00:03:58,630 --> 00:03:59,963
-Prove it.
-I will!
117
00:03:59,965 --> 00:04:01,481
And I know you just played me,
118
00:04:01,483 --> 00:04:04,317
but well played
because I am completely in.
119
00:04:04,394 --> 00:04:05,911
Guess we've got
ourselves a restaurant.
120
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,654
I guess we have.
121
00:04:07,806 --> 00:04:09,139
[Cheering]
122
00:04:09,141 --> 00:04:10,082
Stupendous:
What the hell is this?
123
00:04:10,158 --> 00:04:11,658
Spike, what is this?
124
00:04:11,810 --> 00:04:13,477
Spike: They saw the damn map.
125
00:04:13,479 --> 00:04:15,754
They're celebrating because
those baby-eating bastards
126
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,664
from Kissuria can't invade us.
127
00:04:17,666 --> 00:04:19,240
End of an era, huh?
128
00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:21,501
All my life, I've been
preparing to be invaded
129
00:04:21,503 --> 00:04:23,262
by the Kissurians.
130
00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:25,322
I was raised on stories
about those animals,
131
00:04:25,324 --> 00:04:27,841
how they eat babies,
how they chop off your fingers
132
00:04:27,993 --> 00:04:29,826
one by one and feed them
to your baby
133
00:04:29,828 --> 00:04:31,270
and then still eat the baby.
134
00:04:31,421 --> 00:04:33,087
Don't forget the butt sewing.
135
00:04:33,089 --> 00:04:35,440
The most twisted, vile
battlefield torture
136
00:04:35,517 --> 00:04:38,110
ever conceived--
sewing your butt closed
137
00:04:38,261 --> 00:04:40,687
and then force feeding you
till you explode?
138
00:04:40,764 --> 00:04:44,024
Hey, guys! We don't need
our butt guards anymore.
139
00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:45,617
Throw them on the fire!
140
00:04:45,694 --> 00:04:47,452
[Cheering]
141
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:48,862
Stupendous:
Look at them, goofing around,
142
00:04:48,938 --> 00:04:50,271
not a care in the world.
143
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:52,182
I can't let that happen to me.
144
00:04:52,184 --> 00:04:54,293
I am keeping this butt guard
and these finger holders
145
00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:57,203
until I have properly
killed those Kissurian bastards
146
00:04:57,205 --> 00:04:58,855
on a field of battle!
147
00:04:58,857 --> 00:05:00,206
Spike: Hell, yeah! I'm in!
148
00:05:00,359 --> 00:05:02,259
Let's go kick some ass!
149
00:05:06,122 --> 00:05:09,866
Hello, and welcome to Ty's Man
Woman Table Chairs Food.
150
00:05:09,868 --> 00:05:11,551
Catchy name.
151
00:05:11,703 --> 00:05:13,461
Have you eaten
in a restaurant before?
152
00:05:13,539 --> 00:05:16,206
We've never eaten
indoors before.
153
00:05:16,208 --> 00:05:18,984
Well, you're in for a treat.
154
00:05:19,061 --> 00:05:20,319
Let me tell you how it works.
155
00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:22,062
You order food, we cook it.
156
00:05:22,064 --> 00:05:23,322
It's really that simple.
157
00:05:23,473 --> 00:05:25,065
-Do we have to kill it?
-Nope.
158
00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:26,550
-Gut it?
-Nope.
159
00:05:26,568 --> 00:05:28,718
Skin it, bleed it,
make it into chunks?
160
00:05:28,737 --> 00:05:30,387
Nope! We do all that for you.
161
00:05:30,389 --> 00:05:32,980
Should be called
Ty's Kill Gut Skin Bleed
162
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,150
Man Woman Table Chairs
Food Chunks Eat.
163
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:38,003
We will certainly take
a look at that.
164
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,188
So I can order anything?
165
00:05:40,190 --> 00:05:41,823
No. I should have
been more specific.
166
00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:43,825
You can order any amount
of one thing,
167
00:05:43,827 --> 00:05:45,752
and that thing is chicken,
168
00:05:45,829 --> 00:05:47,737
and the amount
can't be too much.
169
00:05:47,739 --> 00:05:50,757
Great. We'll have one.
170
00:05:50,834 --> 00:05:52,576
Hippo, we've got our
first customers,
171
00:05:52,578 --> 00:05:54,594
and they will have
one delicious chicken.
172
00:05:54,671 --> 00:05:57,856
Chicken is child's play.
Every cook can make chicken.
173
00:05:57,933 --> 00:05:59,858
I'm making octopus.
174
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,252
Octopus?
Humans don't eat octopus.
175
00:06:02,254 --> 00:06:04,588
You should. All they talk
about is eating you.
176
00:06:04,590 --> 00:06:05,939
OK. Noted.
177
00:06:06,091 --> 00:06:07,699
Seriously,
they have 17 different words
178
00:06:07,776 --> 00:06:09,593
for human meat.
179
00:06:09,595 --> 00:06:11,261
They're crossbreeding
themselves to become giant.
180
00:06:11,263 --> 00:06:12,929
Point taken,
but this is just supposed to be
181
00:06:12,931 --> 00:06:14,355
a simple,
functioning restaurant.
182
00:06:14,433 --> 00:06:17,191
Wrong! It's a test of my genius.
183
00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:19,044
I tenderized this thing
precisely
184
00:06:19,121 --> 00:06:20,620
for the best mouthfeel.
185
00:06:20,697 --> 00:06:22,881
I seared it the perfect
amount for caramelizing,
186
00:06:22,958 --> 00:06:24,624
and here--lemon juice.
187
00:06:24,701 --> 00:06:26,126
Enhances the flavor.
188
00:06:26,202 --> 00:06:27,777
This is scientifically
delicious.
189
00:06:27,796 --> 00:06:29,346
Taste.
190
00:06:31,299 --> 00:06:34,467
Oh! Oh, Hippo.
You're a genius.
191
00:06:34,620 --> 00:06:36,119
I just said that.
192
00:06:36,121 --> 00:06:38,045
What is that thing your eyes
are doing?
193
00:06:38,123 --> 00:06:39,956
Showing pleasure?
194
00:06:39,958 --> 00:06:42,626
Yeah, but why does
it feel good to me?
195
00:06:42,628 --> 00:06:44,886
Because there's a simple
joy in making people happy?
196
00:06:44,963 --> 00:06:46,738
That can't be it.
Wait a minute.
197
00:06:46,890 --> 00:06:49,132
The satisfaction of the eater
is how I can measure
198
00:06:49,134 --> 00:06:50,909
my greatness!
199
00:06:50,986 --> 00:06:54,562
You think the people out there
will make the same face?
200
00:06:54,564 --> 00:06:57,807
Mmm! Oh, my God.
201
00:06:57,809 --> 00:06:59,976
Mmm!
202
00:06:59,978 --> 00:07:01,161
Feels good, right?
203
00:07:01,163 --> 00:07:03,163
Feels great! Let's go, people.
204
00:07:03,239 --> 00:07:04,756
Fire up the grill!
205
00:07:04,833 --> 00:07:06,925
I got an idea
for a new oyster dish!
206
00:07:07,076 --> 00:07:08,668
Do they hate humans, too?
207
00:07:08,745 --> 00:07:09,928
Hmm. Let me think.
208
00:07:10,005 --> 00:07:11,096
Do you steal their jewelry?
209
00:07:11,173 --> 00:07:13,598
All right! Let's start shucking!
210
00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:19,512
Hi. Welcome to Ty's Man Woman
211
00:07:19,589 --> 00:07:21,088
Table Chairs Food.
212
00:07:21,166 --> 00:07:23,333
Man: The branding is all wrong,
but the food.
213
00:07:23,335 --> 00:07:25,018
Woman: He does a thing
with octopus.
214
00:07:25,170 --> 00:07:26,445
Trust me.
215
00:07:26,596 --> 00:07:28,354
You need to
put octopus on the sign.
216
00:07:28,431 --> 00:07:30,190
Tyrannis: Can I be in charge
of the name, please?
217
00:07:30,266 --> 00:07:32,099
Wait. They kill it
and gut it, too?
218
00:07:32,177 --> 00:07:36,012
Yeah. The sign is
very misleading.
219
00:07:36,014 --> 00:07:38,014
Hippocampus: More turmeric.
220
00:07:38,016 --> 00:07:39,458
Getting there.
221
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:40,792
Start over!
222
00:07:40,944 --> 00:07:42,294
Chef, I made this chicken.
223
00:07:42,445 --> 00:07:44,020
Be honest. What do you think?
224
00:07:44,039 --> 00:07:45,205
What is it? Boiled?
225
00:07:45,357 --> 00:07:46,706
And you didn't even pluck it!
226
00:07:46,858 --> 00:07:48,041
Casey, you're fired.
227
00:07:48,117 --> 00:07:50,618
Please. I can't lose
another job.
228
00:07:50,620 --> 00:07:53,379
Then stay,
but don't touch anything.
229
00:07:53,532 --> 00:07:54,789
Tyrannis: Hello, hello, hello.
230
00:07:54,866 --> 00:07:55,974
Great business out there.
231
00:07:56,051 --> 00:07:57,050
How's it going back here?
232
00:07:57,202 --> 00:07:59,794
Ty, I'm crushing this.
233
00:07:59,871 --> 00:08:01,221
It's like with science
234
00:08:01,373 --> 00:08:03,297
I make something,
and it's done,
235
00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:06,376
but with food, what I'm
making is deliciousness,
236
00:08:06,378 --> 00:08:08,153
and there's no
upper limit to that,
237
00:08:08,304 --> 00:08:10,489
or if there is,
I intend to find it.
238
00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:12,139
That's why we do it!
239
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,733
So anyway, table 8 would like
the octopus dish
240
00:08:13,735 --> 00:08:15,401
-from yesterday.
-No, no, no.
241
00:08:15,478 --> 00:08:17,904
The octopus dish from yesterday
won't enthrall them
242
00:08:17,906 --> 00:08:19,164
like it did yesterday.
243
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:20,665
I'm sure they'll be fine
with it.
244
00:08:20,742 --> 00:08:22,817
I just told you
I'm not working for fine.
245
00:08:22,894 --> 00:08:24,561
I'm working for better
than anything,
246
00:08:24,579 --> 00:08:26,487
and better than anything
keeps getting redefined
247
00:08:26,565 --> 00:08:28,081
every time I cook.
248
00:08:28,157 --> 00:08:29,991
I worry that redefining
greatness is getting away
249
00:08:30,068 --> 00:08:31,343
from the original mission.
250
00:08:31,494 --> 00:08:33,403
We only need a functioning
restaurant
251
00:08:33,405 --> 00:08:35,764
-to get on the map.
-Tut, tut, tut.
252
00:08:39,761 --> 00:08:41,353
Mmm!
253
00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:42,854
They will get their food,
they will make the face,
254
00:08:42,931 --> 00:08:44,672
I will be the best,
you will be happy.
255
00:08:44,750 --> 00:08:46,674
OK. Just don't take too long
to cook the food.
256
00:08:46,676 --> 00:08:48,026
These people will eat worms.
257
00:08:48,103 --> 00:08:50,253
And if they do, they will
be the greatest,
258
00:08:50,255 --> 00:08:53,698
most exquisitely prepared worms
anyone has ever tasted.
259
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,349
I don't doubt that.
260
00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:58,352
Bard: ♪ And Deliria's ass
is the finest ass ♪
261
00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:00,354
♪ That the world has ever seen
262
00:09:00,432 --> 00:09:02,949
♪ You could bounce a coin
off a perfect little tushy ♪
263
00:09:03,026 --> 00:09:06,044
Darling, have you heard?
Hippo is quite the chef.
264
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,529
The line at the restaurant
reaches all around the block.
265
00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:10,774
In other news,
we have blocks now.
266
00:09:10,792 --> 00:09:12,884
Interesting,
but I already said
267
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,127
I had no interest.
268
00:09:14,203 --> 00:09:16,037
I'm on record.
269
00:09:16,114 --> 00:09:17,947
♪ She already said she could
not care less ♪
270
00:09:17,949 --> 00:09:20,633
♪ But now she's curious
about it ♪
271
00:09:20,710 --> 00:09:22,060
[Screech]
272
00:09:22,137 --> 00:09:24,637
Ow! Why a cat?!
You know I'm allergic.
273
00:09:24,714 --> 00:09:26,639
This is over the top!
274
00:09:26,641 --> 00:09:27,899
There has to be a give and take.
275
00:09:28,051 --> 00:09:29,717
Haven't I earned that?
276
00:09:29,795 --> 00:09:31,311
Now I'm all the way outside,
277
00:09:31,387 --> 00:09:34,464
and both of my hands
are cats? Why?!
278
00:09:34,466 --> 00:09:35,481
[Cats yowling]
279
00:09:35,634 --> 00:09:36,741
What if we went
to the restaurant
280
00:09:36,968 --> 00:09:38,410
but not as ourselves?
281
00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:40,804
Shlub: I'm always up
for some roleplay.
282
00:09:40,822 --> 00:09:42,396
Ooh. look at us.
283
00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:44,082
[Exaggerated voice]
I'm Cato, a potter.
284
00:09:44,159 --> 00:09:46,826
[Exaggerated voice]
And I'm Dolores, a milkmaid.
285
00:09:46,978 --> 00:09:48,420
And we're not married
286
00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:50,755
Ooh. We're playing
with fire, aren't we?
287
00:09:50,832 --> 00:09:53,108
Ooh! If my husband
were to find out.
288
00:09:53,110 --> 00:09:56,653
Would he fly
into a violent rage?
289
00:09:56,655 --> 00:09:59,080
We're gonna have to
try less sexy disguises,
290
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:02,058
or we'll never make it
to the restaurant.
291
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,589
[Grunting]
292
00:10:08,667 --> 00:10:10,424
Aah!
293
00:10:10,502 --> 00:10:11,517
Unh!
294
00:10:11,519 --> 00:10:13,612
Aah! Oof!
295
00:10:13,763 --> 00:10:15,363
[Both grunt]
296
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:22,011
[Spike groans]
297
00:10:22,030 --> 00:10:23,496
Stupendous: No!
298
00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:29,294
[Grunting]
299
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:38,361
Huh?
300
00:10:38,363 --> 00:10:40,530
This is the Uncrossable Chasm?
301
00:10:40,532 --> 00:10:42,882
It's way more uncrossable
than I thought.
302
00:10:42,959 --> 00:10:44,976
Damn it!
303
00:10:45,128 --> 00:10:47,312
Man: Damn it!
304
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,964
Wait. Are you an echo
or a person?
305
00:10:50,058 --> 00:10:52,484
Man: Wait. Are you
an echo or a person?
306
00:10:52,635 --> 00:10:54,377
No, wait. You go first.
307
00:10:54,379 --> 00:10:56,637
Man: No, I want to go first.
308
00:10:56,639 --> 00:10:58,472
That's what I--hey!
309
00:10:58,550 --> 00:11:02,402
I am Babak
of the Kissurian people.
310
00:11:02,404 --> 00:11:05,997
I am Stupendous of Krapopolis.
311
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,725
-We got maps.
-So did we.
312
00:11:08,727 --> 00:11:10,651
I came here to kick your ass!
313
00:11:10,729 --> 00:11:13,229
Same. I had hoped
the Uncrossable Chasm
314
00:11:13,231 --> 00:11:15,231
was a hyperbolic nickname.
315
00:11:15,233 --> 00:11:17,583
Me, too.
Like the Bottomless Lake.
316
00:11:17,660 --> 00:11:21,513
No, I have been there.
That thing is bottomless.
317
00:11:21,589 --> 00:11:25,833
Huh. Well, I'm not leaving
without kicking your ass.
318
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,852
Ohh--
319
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:30,355
-We should build a bridge.
-Agreed,
320
00:11:30,432 --> 00:11:32,506
and this is not gonna be
one of those things
321
00:11:32,508 --> 00:11:34,600
where we realize
we work better together.
322
00:11:34,677 --> 00:11:36,085
Absolutely not.
323
00:11:36,087 --> 00:11:38,697
Once the bridge is built,
you die.
324
00:11:40,391 --> 00:11:42,867
Tyrannis: Oh, wow!
The joint is jumping.
325
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:45,094
Welcome to Ty's Man Woman
Table Chairs
326
00:11:45,096 --> 00:11:46,353
Different Types of Food.
327
00:11:46,431 --> 00:11:48,189
There's just a bit of a wait.
328
00:11:48,266 --> 00:11:51,267
Should be called Ty's Man Woman
Wait Table Chairs Diff--
329
00:11:51,286 --> 00:11:53,119
Can I be in charge
of the name, please?
330
00:11:53,196 --> 00:11:54,862
Fine.
Oh, there's some lady
331
00:11:54,940 --> 00:11:56,439
back there who says
she's a mapmaker.
332
00:11:56,458 --> 00:11:59,533
She's here? Sophie,
welcome to my restaurant.
333
00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:02,278
Is it even a restaurant?
So far, it's just a line.
334
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:03,722
It's a restaurant!
335
00:12:03,798 --> 00:12:05,147
We're just working out
a few kinks.
336
00:12:05,149 --> 00:12:06,466
You're gonna love it, though.
337
00:12:06,468 --> 00:12:08,284
I'll be the judge
of that, though.
338
00:12:08,286 --> 00:12:09,953
♪ Love our playful banter
339
00:12:09,955 --> 00:12:11,730
Just want food.
340
00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:15,567
[Grunting]
341
00:12:19,722 --> 00:12:23,800
-Aah!
-Arrr!
342
00:12:23,802 --> 00:12:28,246
I will remove your head
and parade it around my city!
343
00:12:28,323 --> 00:12:30,248
I'll put your corpse on a pole
344
00:12:30,325 --> 00:12:32,250
and use strings to move
your arms and mouth
345
00:12:32,401 --> 00:12:34,978
and make it seem like
you're saying bad things.
346
00:12:34,980 --> 00:12:36,403
Like what?
347
00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:38,998
Like "Hi. I'm Babak,
and I eat babies."
348
00:12:39,075 --> 00:12:40,574
[Grunting]
349
00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:42,168
Why would I eat babies?
350
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,578
You Krapopolites
are the baby eaters.
351
00:12:44,580 --> 00:12:46,823
That's a lie!
We fight with honor.
352
00:12:46,825 --> 00:12:49,267
I love that sword!
353
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:52,678
-[Screaming]
-[Grunting]
354
00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:56,257
You're the ones who sew people's
butts closed like cowards.
355
00:12:56,334 --> 00:12:59,335
We did that one or two times
as a joke.
356
00:12:59,337 --> 00:13:02,113
Meanwhile, you people do
nothing but suck out
357
00:13:02,190 --> 00:13:06,676
your enemies' eyeballs
and feed them to your babies.
358
00:13:06,678 --> 00:13:08,528
Stupendous: I strongly
reprimanded the soldier
359
00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:12,123
-who did that.
-Aah!
360
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:13,683
-Wait, wait.
-What?
361
00:13:13,685 --> 00:13:15,685
You want to kiss me
before I kill you?
362
00:13:15,687 --> 00:13:16,961
That ain't happening.
363
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,871
No. Why would I want
to kiss you?
364
00:13:18,873 --> 00:13:20,523
It happens more often
than you think.
365
00:13:20,525 --> 00:13:22,783
Sometimes, signals get
crossed in the brain.
366
00:13:22,785 --> 00:13:24,135
No. I--I can see that.
367
00:13:24,212 --> 00:13:26,137
No. The reason I said wait is
368
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,548
does anyone know you're here?
369
00:13:28,624 --> 00:13:29,957
-No.
-Look.
370
00:13:30,051 --> 00:13:31,551
You're gonna kill me,
which is fine.
371
00:13:31,553 --> 00:13:33,052
I accept that.
372
00:13:33,054 --> 00:13:34,720
Then I fall
into the Uncrossable Chasm,
373
00:13:34,722 --> 00:13:39,709
so I die down there,
but I got your leg pretty good.
374
00:13:39,711 --> 00:13:42,712
You won't make it back
across those mountains.
375
00:13:42,805 --> 00:13:45,048
You die on an ice shelf
somewhere,
376
00:13:45,066 --> 00:13:46,549
and then what are we?
377
00:13:46,551 --> 00:13:48,885
A couple of dead fools who
died in a place
378
00:13:48,887 --> 00:13:50,662
no one's ever gonna go to.
379
00:13:50,813 --> 00:13:53,623
Frigging maps. Get up here!
380
00:13:56,485 --> 00:13:58,561
It was gonna be so cool
watching you
381
00:13:58,563 --> 00:14:00,154
fall all that way.
382
00:14:00,231 --> 00:14:02,415
I would have screamed
all the way down for you.
383
00:14:02,567 --> 00:14:08,571
Aaaaaaaaah!
384
00:14:08,573 --> 00:14:13,667
[Trailing off]
385
00:14:13,745 --> 00:14:15,578
Don't rub it in.
386
00:14:15,597 --> 00:14:16,855
We can do this.
387
00:14:16,931 --> 00:14:18,097
We just have to come
up with the most
388
00:14:18,249 --> 00:14:20,507
unsexy personas imaginable.
389
00:14:20,509 --> 00:14:22,343
Let's try this.
390
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:25,254
[Exaggerated voice]
I'm Sol, a plain old man.
391
00:14:25,273 --> 00:14:28,032
I'm married to my job,
which is counting beans.
392
00:14:28,184 --> 00:14:29,868
[Exaggerated voice]
And I'm Helen.
393
00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:32,519
I have severe body odor
and a stump for a leg.
394
00:14:32,597 --> 00:14:34,521
[Normal voice]
How big of a stump?
395
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:37,058
[Exaggerated voice] Why don't
you find out, Mr. Bean Counter?
396
00:14:37,060 --> 00:14:38,543
[Moaning]
397
00:14:38,694 --> 00:14:40,436
[Exaggerated voice] I'm
an absolute douchebag
398
00:14:40,455 --> 00:14:44,031
named Money Man
with disgustingly long toenails.
399
00:14:44,109 --> 00:14:46,533
[Normal voice]
Ohh! My top 3 weaknesses.
400
00:14:46,535 --> 00:14:48,277
[Moaning]
401
00:14:48,279 --> 00:14:50,630
-I'm a jellyfish.
-I'm dead.
402
00:14:50,706 --> 00:14:53,040
How dead? No wrong answers.
403
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:54,375
[Moaning]
404
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,894
Well, I'm beginning to
think that we may
405
00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:57,896
never taste Hippo's food.
406
00:14:57,898 --> 00:15:00,064
Oh, roleplay is
simply too stimulating.
407
00:15:00,216 --> 00:15:02,458
I may just have to swallow
my pride and go as myself.
408
00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:04,143
Bard: ♪ She's swallowing
her pride because ♪
409
00:15:04,220 --> 00:15:05,719
♪ The roleplay was too sexy
410
00:15:05,797 --> 00:15:08,147
Who said you could watch,
not sing.
411
00:15:08,149 --> 00:15:09,982
Hippo, she's here, the map lady.
412
00:15:09,984 --> 00:15:11,984
We need to get moving. Hippo?
413
00:15:12,061 --> 00:15:13,912
He's been like this for an hour.
414
00:15:14,063 --> 00:15:15,638
Brother, brother,
what's going on here?
415
00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:18,324
I'm just trying to
figure out a bay leaf.
416
00:15:18,401 --> 00:15:20,993
Hippo, no. Bay leaves are
already figured out.
417
00:15:21,070 --> 00:15:22,662
They're leaves of bay.
418
00:15:22,664 --> 00:15:24,814
Chef, table 6 is still
waiting on the salmon.
419
00:15:24,816 --> 00:15:26,758
-Is it ready?
-Is it ready?
420
00:15:26,834 --> 00:15:28,909
Let's find out.
421
00:15:28,987 --> 00:15:31,245
No. It's Average.
422
00:15:31,322 --> 00:15:34,157
Average is good,
and good is torture.
423
00:15:34,159 --> 00:15:35,341
Then torture yourself!
424
00:15:35,493 --> 00:15:37,326
Fine. Casey,
get the salmon out
425
00:15:37,328 --> 00:15:39,662
of the garbage and serve it up.
426
00:15:39,664 --> 00:15:42,231
Is it OK if there's
a couple bites missing?
427
00:15:47,430 --> 00:15:50,097
Hello again,
and welcome to Ty's, just Ty's.
428
00:15:50,175 --> 00:15:51,857
Your server then explains
the concept
429
00:15:51,934 --> 00:15:53,267
once you've sat down.
430
00:15:53,344 --> 00:15:55,269
-I like the name.
-You're the first one.
431
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,288
Look at that.
Even gods eat here.
432
00:15:57,365 --> 00:15:59,123
Tell me, son, is this one
of those places
433
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,125
with peanut shells on the floor?
434
00:16:01,202 --> 00:16:02,685
It could be.
Excellent because
435
00:16:02,687 --> 00:16:06,205
on the floor in my scat
are peanut shells.
436
00:16:06,282 --> 00:16:07,857
I could come back.
437
00:16:07,859 --> 00:16:09,783
It seems like you're still
working out the kinks.
438
00:16:09,861 --> 00:16:11,194
No, no, no. Don't leave.
439
00:16:11,196 --> 00:16:12,545
I'll seat you in just a second.
440
00:16:12,621 --> 00:16:14,197
Mum, Dad, do not turn this
into a place
441
00:16:14,199 --> 00:16:15,715
where people don't want to eat.
442
00:16:15,791 --> 00:16:17,700
Hippocampus: Why not?
Couldn't get any worse.
443
00:16:17,702 --> 00:16:20,052
He's got me cooking
crap chickens for crap people.
444
00:16:20,129 --> 00:16:22,129
I thought you were cooking food
worthy of a god.
445
00:16:22,207 --> 00:16:24,390
I was getting there,
but he stopped me.
446
00:16:24,467 --> 00:16:27,819
Screw him. Make me something
that would blow my mind.
447
00:16:27,895 --> 00:16:29,303
I will!
448
00:16:29,380 --> 00:16:30,822
Can I just have
a piece of chicken?
449
00:16:30,898 --> 00:16:32,490
I'm so hungry.
I skipped breakfast.
450
00:16:32,567 --> 00:16:38,571
No. No one eats until
I have pleased this customer.
451
00:16:38,647 --> 00:16:40,314
Tyrannis: Mother, can I ask you
the biggest of favors?
452
00:16:40,391 --> 00:16:42,058
Could you just quickly tell
Hippo that he's
453
00:16:42,060 --> 00:16:43,317
blown your mind,
and be sure to
454
00:16:43,394 --> 00:16:44,651
roll your eyes back
in your head.
455
00:16:44,729 --> 00:16:46,153
He likes that.
456
00:16:46,231 --> 00:16:47,897
If he blows my mind,
I'll let him know.
457
00:16:47,899 --> 00:16:49,990
[Sizzling]
458
00:16:50,068 --> 00:16:51,325
Hmm. Interesting.
459
00:16:51,402 --> 00:16:53,160
Not the best thing you ever had?
460
00:16:53,238 --> 00:16:54,570
Of course not.
461
00:16:54,572 --> 00:16:55,755
[Hippocampus sighs]
462
00:16:55,831 --> 00:16:57,015
[Sizzling]
463
00:16:57,091 --> 00:16:58,741
It's good for humans or dogs.
464
00:16:58,743 --> 00:17:00,518
I can't remember
who eats better.
465
00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:06,098
Hmm. Pleasant.
466
00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:08,026
Pleasant is the baseline!
467
00:17:09,921 --> 00:17:11,921
Hippo, the map lady,
she's gonna leave.
468
00:17:11,923 --> 00:17:13,531
Sophie: Thinking about it.
469
00:17:23,601 --> 00:17:27,119
It's...quite good
for what it is.
470
00:17:27,196 --> 00:17:28,771
Hippo, take the win.
471
00:17:28,773 --> 00:17:31,457
I can't. I can't do it!
472
00:17:31,534 --> 00:17:35,219
I'm a fraud!
I'm an absolute fraud!
473
00:17:35,296 --> 00:17:37,704
Why did I ever think I could be
the best at cooking?
474
00:17:37,782 --> 00:17:39,615
-Mmm!
-Mmm!
475
00:17:39,617 --> 00:17:40,707
Ha ha ha!
476
00:17:40,785 --> 00:17:42,285
Everyone, out!
477
00:17:42,287 --> 00:17:45,121
A delight from start to finish!
We'll dine again!
478
00:17:45,123 --> 00:17:48,549
I said out! Get out!
479
00:17:48,626 --> 00:17:49,734
Rah!
480
00:17:49,811 --> 00:17:52,070
[People shouting]
481
00:17:52,146 --> 00:17:53,905
I think I've seen
what I need to see.
482
00:17:53,981 --> 00:17:56,132
Hippocampus: Aah!
483
00:17:56,134 --> 00:17:57,408
Tyrannis:
Thank you for dining at Ty's
484
00:17:57,485 --> 00:18:00,912
Walk In Sit Down
Don't Eat Run Away.
485
00:18:00,988 --> 00:18:02,488
I hate the mapped world.
486
00:18:02,565 --> 00:18:05,065
It used to be you'd go off on
an adventure.
487
00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:06,584
You wouldn't know what
you'd find
488
00:18:06,661 --> 00:18:08,402
or who you'd have to kill.
489
00:18:08,479 --> 00:18:10,813
Yeah, used to be anyone
could show up
490
00:18:10,815 --> 00:18:12,573
at your doorstep, anyone?
491
00:18:12,650 --> 00:18:14,759
My whole army was driven
by the possibility
492
00:18:14,836 --> 00:18:16,319
of your invasion.
493
00:18:16,321 --> 00:18:18,579
-Us, too.
-That's why I came here.
494
00:18:18,656 --> 00:18:21,173
What I really wanted
to fight was that map,
495
00:18:21,175 --> 00:18:23,250
but I guess the map won.
496
00:18:23,328 --> 00:18:26,178
Wait, but now the map is wrong.
497
00:18:26,255 --> 00:18:29,590
This is supposed to be
the Uncrossable Chasm,
498
00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:31,167
but now it's covered
499
00:18:31,169 --> 00:18:33,502
by the Dangerous
but Doable Bridge.
500
00:18:33,504 --> 00:18:36,856
You go home and tell your people
that map is wrong.
501
00:18:36,932 --> 00:18:38,432
Tell them we're coming,
502
00:18:38,509 --> 00:18:40,934
and our babies are hungry
for eyeballs.
503
00:18:41,012 --> 00:18:44,104
-Ha ha ha!
-Ha ha ha!
504
00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:45,681
[Babak grunts]
505
00:18:45,683 --> 00:18:48,017
Wait. You think we have
enough battle scars?
506
00:18:48,019 --> 00:18:49,535
It's got to be realistic.
507
00:18:49,612 --> 00:18:52,021
Oh, right. You want to just
take this eyeball?
508
00:18:52,023 --> 00:18:54,023
-Sure.
-You want to sew my butt shut?
509
00:18:54,025 --> 00:18:58,361
I'd like that.
I'd like that very much.
510
00:18:58,363 --> 00:18:59,453
[Sobbing]
511
00:18:59,530 --> 00:19:01,455
-You did this to me.
-I did?
512
00:19:01,532 --> 00:19:03,290
You let me believe that cooking
513
00:19:03,368 --> 00:19:05,050
could be
scientifically measurable.
514
00:19:05,127 --> 00:19:06,552
That's because I couldn't
get you to just cook
515
00:19:06,629 --> 00:19:08,053
for the sheer pleasure
of doing something
516
00:19:08,130 --> 00:19:09,538
for someone else.
517
00:19:09,540 --> 00:19:11,056
Altruism? There's no such thing.
518
00:19:11,133 --> 00:19:13,376
Helping other people
is always self-serving.
519
00:19:13,378 --> 00:19:15,153
I built this city
for other people,
520
00:19:15,229 --> 00:19:17,880
and I wanted a restaurant
for the good of the people.
521
00:19:17,882 --> 00:19:21,993
Oh, a restaurant called Ty's,
where I did all the work?
522
00:19:22,069 --> 00:19:23,644
Branding was important!
523
00:19:23,721 --> 00:19:25,646
You didn't build
this city to help people, Ty.
524
00:19:25,723 --> 00:19:28,166
You built it to be the guy
who helped people.
525
00:19:28,242 --> 00:19:30,559
The city was my penis,
wasn't it?
526
00:19:30,561 --> 00:19:32,077
-What?!
-No.
527
00:19:32,154 --> 00:19:34,747
I was just saying
it's an extension of my ego.
528
00:19:34,823 --> 00:19:36,081
Then say that.
529
00:19:36,158 --> 00:19:38,417
Well, forgive me
for being poetic.
530
00:19:38,494 --> 00:19:40,252
Casey: Hey, guys.
What's so wrong
531
00:19:40,329 --> 00:19:43,239
about helping people
for the sake of your own ego?
532
00:19:43,241 --> 00:19:45,257
-Huh?
-I mean, you made a city
533
00:19:45,334 --> 00:19:47,593
to get kudos,
and you cooked
534
00:19:47,745 --> 00:19:49,503
for the good eye rolls,
535
00:19:49,580 --> 00:19:52,190
but either way,
you guys gave me a job,
536
00:19:52,266 --> 00:19:55,008
and I was on the verge
of ending it all in a brothel.
537
00:19:55,086 --> 00:19:57,436
I'm just saying good
did come out of this,
538
00:19:57,513 --> 00:20:00,114
whether or not
it's why you did it.
539
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,201
How do you like the sound
540
00:20:03,277 --> 00:20:07,163
of Casey's Man Woman Eat Chicken
Table?
541
00:20:08,599 --> 00:20:11,283
Thanks for coming back.
So was that the best
542
00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:12,877
whole, boiled, unplucked chicken
543
00:20:13,028 --> 00:20:15,287
-you've ever had?
-First and hopefully last.
544
00:20:15,364 --> 00:20:17,531
So good enough to put
us on the map?
545
00:20:17,608 --> 00:20:19,608
Yeah. I'll make a note
that Krapopolis has
546
00:20:19,610 --> 00:20:21,201
a restaurant you should
definitely avoid...
547
00:20:21,279 --> 00:20:22,945
-Oh.
-but a king
548
00:20:22,947 --> 00:20:24,280
who tries real hard.
549
00:20:24,282 --> 00:20:26,966
I'll take the win.
Mum, Dad, no!
550
00:20:27,042 --> 00:20:29,785
My name is Sam the Jellyfish.
551
00:20:29,787 --> 00:20:32,104
And I'm Jessica,
and I'm dead.
552
00:20:36,294 --> 00:20:38,486
[Speaking Octopus]
553
00:21:22,431 --> 00:21:23,698
Dan Harmon: Did you get
any of that?
554
00:21:26,677 --> 00:21:27,660
Voice: Bento!
[Cheering]
40118
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