All language subtitles for ghosts.2021.s04e14.1080p.web.h264-successfulcrab-hi

You can go home, Mike.
I'll finish closing up.

Fortunately,
there's not much to do,

since there were
barely any customers tonight.

PETE:
Sure, things have slowed down

a little
since the restaurant opened.

And maybe they did
get some bad press

from briefly becoming the Hudson
Valley's top Mafia hangout.

But on the bright side...

[stammers]

Oh, no. Pete can't
find a bright side.

Hmm, this is bad.

I don't get it.

I'm serving great food.

Meanwhile, Connor's place
is packed every night.

They just did a write-up on
him in New York Magazine.

Connor is this guy Jay hates
from culinary school.

I bet he hired a publicist.

What a douche.
Jay,

you're a great chef.

You just need to focus on you.

As much as I hate to admit it,

I agree with Samantha.

The truth is,
my own life is a tragic tale

about how an obsession
with a nemesis

can derail
one's own promising career.

I'm of course referring
to my infamous rivalry

with Alexander Hamilton.

SAMANTHA:
Can I be honest, Isaac?

I've never really understood

what Hamilton
actually did to you.

Weren't you just kind
of jealous of him?

I've never shared this with you
because I was embarrassed,

but that man ruined my chance

to become someone
history remembers.

'Tis a painful story to tell.

But since it might help Jay,

I'm willing to share it.

Ooh. Dinner and a show.

I like it.

Buckle up.

For tonight,
I shall tell you the tale

of why I hate
Alexander Hamilton.

♪ ♪

The year is 1776.

It is?
No, in the story.

Oh.

Our tale begins

at a men's haberdashery,

where I'd gone
to pick up a ruffle,

an ornamental
but obligatory garment I needed

for an important event
I was to attend that evening.

Earlier in the week,
I had received an invitation

from my mentor, John Jay,
to attend a dinner party

at his Manhattan estate.

But this was to be
no regular soiree.

Scuse me.
I'll be with you shortly.

[groans softly]
This infernal wait.

Give me service
or give me death.

[both laugh]

Oh, my God.

Beatrice, look.

It's Alexander Hamilton.

We met at James
Madison's Easter party

and had the most thrilling
exchange of ideas.

Alexander, hello!

Yeah,
I've-I've already been helped.

Um...
Oh, no, no, no, no, it's me.

It's me. Isaac
Higgintoot.

We met at James
Madison's Easter party.

Right. Of course!

You were the talk of the event.

Oh. Mm.
Oh. Really?

Oh.
Yes! Yes, you ate that rotten pork pie

and yakked in his carriage.

[laughs] He couldn't get
the scent out.

It was a total write-off.

Well, um, I will see
you at dinner tonight?

Oh. Yeah, I-I don't think so.

No, I'm-I'm going
to John Jay's house

to discuss
a-a very important matter.

Yes. I will be there, too.
Really?

[chuckles]: Yeah.
Oh, I...

I kind of assumed
it was an exclusive event.

It is an exclusive event.

Huh.

You're sure you're not thinking
about Albert Jay's party?

I heard he's hosting
a... chili dump.

Maybe... Is that... is that

the party, maybe, you're attending?
No.

John Jay's.
To discuss

the Declaration of Independence.

Hmm. Well!

Excellent! Ha!

Well, you shall be
the voice of the common man.

I'll see you there.

Now, how can I help you?

Yes, Isaac Higgintoot,
picking up my shirt ruffle.

Unfortunately, we're all out.

What? I reserved
mine two weeks ago.

Well, it's not here.

It's possible
that someone else picked it up.

But it was under my name.

I-Is there one at another store?

I doubt it. It's
sort of peak ruffle season.

Now, I could order one in.
It would take at least a week.

But I'm going to John
Jay's house tonight.

I heard that was an exclusive...
[chuckles softly] event.

It is.

ANNOUNCER:
Tune in next week

for an ice-cold elimination
on...

It's Getting Hot in Here.
[Trevor straining]

Cannot believe Victoria P.
sleep with Austin,

then send him home same night.

Victoria P. is
going to hell.

[gasping, shouting]

[singsongy]:
I'm back.

Oh, my God!
Oy gevalt.

Not again.

Elias, what are you doing here?

Come now, Henrietta,

that's no way
to greet your husband.

Greet you?
[scoffing]

Last time you visited,

you tried to drag Peter to hell.

Never mind all that.

I come to you today

with an opportunity!

We not interested
in anything you have to say.

Now, now, hear me out.

You see,
my boss was very impressed

that I returned to hell
voluntarily.

There's not a lot of that,
what with all the flaying

and the burning
and the bad Wi-Fi.

So now I am

on the management track.

And I am one soul shy
of a big promotion.

Oh, and you expect
one of us to volunteer

to give you our soul?
I do.

If you accept my offer
and commit your soul to hell,

you will join me
on the management track.

Instead of having
your toenails pried off daily,

well, you could be doing
the prying.

Or supervising the prying.

You wouldn't even have
to return with me now.

We could work out a time,
even years from now,

that your cushy sentence
could begin.

But refuse my deal

and risk an eternity
of pain and suffering.

Elias, it's a no from us.

So why don't you go try
to peddle your nonsense

on some other ghosts.

Oh, I specifically came
to talk to you four.

You see, we've kind of had
our eyes on you.

Well, I don't like that.

TREVOR:
I'm going to be fine.

I'll have you know,
when I was alive,

I gave a lot
of money to charity.

[quietly]: Charity was
a dancer at Scores.

ELIAS:
One last thing...

this offer expires at midnight.

So, the only question is...

...are you willing
to roll the dice?

SAMANTHA:
Jay, pay attention.

JAY:
I can't hear or see him.

Anyway, as I was saying,
that evening,

I journeyed to John Jay's house,

eager for the opportunity
that lay before me,

but terrified

by how my ruffle-less chest
would be received.

I get it.
Neckwear was very important

to us Pinecone Troopers.

Although, given a second chance,
I would've gone with Kevlar

and not your standard
cotton neckerchief.

So, what happened when you got
to John Jay's house?

We're still not
at John Jay's house?

As I wassaying,

I entered the residence
hoping my peers

would focus more on my ideas

than my garments.

That hope was quickly dashed.

What the hell is
wrong with you, Isaac?

I can see the whole
naked bib of your shirt.

It's disgusting.

It wasn't my fault.

There was a mix-up
at the shoppe,

and then it's like, trying
to find a last-minute ruffle

in Manhattan in March...

[chuckling]:
I mean, while I'm at it,

why don't I just look
for the Northwest Passage?

You are my protégé, Isaac.

When I invited you
to this dinner,

I was sticking my
neck out for you,

and you didn't have the decency
to decorate yours for me?

Look who's here.

Thomas Jefferson.

Ben Franklin. Sam Adams.

I will not have you
embarrass me in my own house.

I don't know what to say.

If you want me to go,
I'll-I'll go.

[sighs deeply]

I-I think I have a spare.

It's not quite
the current style,

but it-it'll suffice.

Come with me.

[quietly]:
Yes.

Oh, that's nice of him.

So, everything worked out.

Yes, Samantha.
I'm telling you this story

because everything worked out.

Geez.
ISAAC: Let's just say

that this particular ruffle

turned out to be worse
than no ruffle at all.

My God, Higgintoot,
what are you wearing?

It's a loaner.

I know it's not the...

delicate, finely pleated ruffle

that's currently all the rage.

It looks as though you're
being attacked by a swan.

[chuckling]
It's enormous.

[chuckles] It's a wonder
you're not toppling over.

[laughter]
I mean, you're more top-heavy

than Catherine the Great.

[laughter]

You seen paintings of her?

Oh!
[chuckles]: Oh. It's nuts.

[chuckling]
Are you kidding?

[chuckles]: I can't
get enough of them.

You know me... I love looking
at a nice set of plump...

duckies.

But what I love even more is

the fine tailoring at
Henry's Haberdashery.

Which is why I had
reserved my ruffle there.

I'm talking very normal-sized...

modest, even...

with a fine,
handsewn center pleat.

[door opens]

Oh. Sort of like Hamilton's.

JOHN:
Alexander, you made it!

Happy to be here.

ISAAC:
There he was,

Alexander Hamilton.

And he was wearing my ruffle.

[gasps]

Did you just gasp
at your own reveal?

I did.

I am so confused. How did you
even know it was your ruffle?

Are you serious? I ran into him
at the haberdashery

just when my ruffle
was supposed to be ready.

And then he shows up
wearing one that's identical

to the one I reserved?

He must have given them my name

because he wanted
the trendy ruffle.

I could not just let
this injustice stand.

I mean, Angelica is
definitely the prettiest.

Yeah. Sure.
You know. But Eliza just...

She just seems so gettable.

SAM:
Mm, man, a Schuyler sister.

- I wonder if I could get one.
- I mean,

perhaps Peggy.

[Sam and Alexander laughing]

[shudders]

[laughs]
Right?

[Sam and Alexander laughing]

Good evening, Alexander.

Lovely ruffle.

You must have reserved it
quite some time ago,

what, considering how slammed
all the haberdasheries

have been this ruffle season.

Yes, yes. Ruffle season
certainly has been

hot, hot, hot.

[chuckles]
Which is why

I reserved mine with
Mr. Henry two weeks ago.

[chuckles]:
Oh. You know,

funny thing...
I also reserved mine

with Mr. Henry two weeks ago.

But when I showed up today,

mine had gone missing.

And yet here you are,

wearing an identical piece.

How interesting.

And another interesting fact...

I had my ruffle monogrammed
on the inside of the collar.

Monogrammed, you say?

Indeed.

Gentlemen.
Let's convene the meeting.

I'd like to polish off
the rest of this draft tonight,

so we can get on
with the signing.

The signing.

Hot stack of johnnycakes,

you really were gonna sign
the Declaration of Independence!

It really looked like it.
So what happened?

So, let's talk about
these unalienable rights.

So far, I have life and liberty.

But it feels like
there should be a third.

Mm.

What about beer?

Thank you, Sam. Uh, I'm not
gonna write that down,

but that doesn't mean
that it was a bad idea.

Either way, we need

to make it clear
that these rights

were given to us by God...

I think Hamilton took it.

[whispering]:
Took what?

My ruffle.

The one I reserved at Henry's.

Who cares?
We're founding a nation.

Just drop it, man.

JEFFERSON:
Now,

the people should have the right

to alter

or even abolish government,
if abused.

But at the same time...

Do you think he bribed him?

Bribed who?

The haberdasher.

Are you not listening?
I am trying to listen.

To Jefferson. Just leave me alone.
Okay.

JEFFERSON: And we can no longer
tolerate the forced boarding

of foreign mercenaries
in our homes.

FRANKLIN:
Mm-hmm.

It's just, the timing
is so suspicious.

JEFFERSON:
...what it is that they...

John.

John.

John Jay...
Higgintoot!

Yeah...
Did you have something

that you would like
to contribute

to this particular concept?

I, um...

Yeah, I like it. It's good.

And what was it?

I don't know.

[scattered laughter]

Man, you are blowing this.

ELIAS:
There are many benefits.

Sometimes I even get to come
to Earth as a living human,

otherwise known as a demon.

While here,

I'm wining, I'm dining,

I am tricking innocents
into selling me their souls.

[chuckles]
It is a blast.

And all on
the underworld's dime.

Honestly, it sounds a lot like
my time at Lehman Brothers.

Any of you could be having fun

like me.

All you have to do
is accept my deal.

A simple handshake will do.

Oh, get that hand away from me.

I ain't taking the deal.

Nor should any of us.

Aside from possibly Thor.

What Thor do?

"What Thor do?"

Didn't you kill,
like, thousands of people?

Yes, but only
to pillage the land

for resources and treasure.

Also, must remember,
most of those were Dane,

so Thor think Thor in clear.

Danes are people, too, Thor.

ELIAS:
She's not wrong,

my wolf-urine-soaked friend.

You see, in the eyes of hell,

all nationalities
are seen as equal.

[grunts]

I was surprised, too.

But Thor kill many, many Dane.

And also, eat best friend Oskar,
who was squirrel.

See, the equating of those
two things also isn't great.

ELIAS:
Think I have a live one.

What do you say
we make it official?

[grunts]
ALBERTA: Oh, that's enough, Elias.

He doesn't want your deal.
None of us do.

So open up a hole and go back
down from where you came.

Well, you all have
another hour on the clock.

If you change your
minds, I will be around

looking for Livings
to walk through and make horny.

Okay, that guy sucks,

but you got to admit,
that ghost power rocks.

Men? I do believe

that we have done something
important here tonight.

And now it is time to sign.

ALL: Huzzah!
[laughter]

[laughs]

There I was,

mere inches away...

From signing the Declaration
of Independence?

From the monogrammed collar
of my ruffle.

I know it's you.

You stole my ruffle.[scoffs]

I don't know what
you're talking about,

and we're kind of in
the middle of something.

Well, let me see the collar.

What?
No, let me see it.

No. No.
Let me see it.

What is wrong with you?

Isaac, what are you doing?

[screaming, hollering]

Put it out!

My God, man!

Uh, I can save it.

No, no...

ALL:
No!

My beer.

Phew. That was close.

You destroyed it, Higgintoot.

No, no, I-I mean...
[chuckles]

Honestly, we were gonna
have to do it over anyway,

'cause all those S's
look like F's.

Oh, my goodness.

You destroyed
the Declaration of Independence?

Just the first draft, but yes.

So you destroyed the first draft
of the Declaration

and squandered your
own shot at history.

At least there's
a silver lining.

Damn it, Pete, don't start
one unless you got it.

I spilled a glass of wine on
Paul Simon's white couch once.

Took Garfunkel a week
to get the stain out.

JAY: Oh, man,

Timothée Chalamet's eating
at Connor's restaurant.

I'm sorry, is he even
listening to my story?

Jay, Isaac wants you
to focus up.

I am focusing, but there's a
lot of downtime between updates.

Where was I? Ah, yes.

Fine, not my finest moment,
but all is not lost.

Jefferson, you seem to have
a pretty good handle on things.

How about you take
another run at the draft?

And then we'll all meet
back here, same time next week

for some beers
and sign-aroonies?

I'm sorry, Higgintoot,
but, uh, you're out.

Me?

If anyone should be out,
surely it's Hamilton.

And why is that?

Because he stole my ruffle.

He's spiraling.
He's totally lost it.

Who invited this guy?

I think he just showed up.

JEFFERSON:
Higgintoot...

...it is time to leave.

Fine, I'll leave,

but not without regret.

Nothing would have
made me happier

than to contribute
to this great cause.

But alas, Alexander interfered

with my pursuit of happiness.

Because of the whole
ruffle kerfuffle.

Get out!

Adding insult to injury,

Hamilton volunteered
to lead me to the door,

saving for my exit
one final twist of the knife.

I'm sorry
things didn't work out.

Oh, and, um, Higgintoot?

You were right.

I stole your ruffle.

Hamilton admitted
to stealing Isaac's ruffle.

So Isaac was right.
Hamilton did do it.

Yes, Jay.

But the truth is,
that's not what matters.

The only thing that matters
is that my blind obsession

with proving that

caused me to miss out
on being a part of history.

Jay, this restaurant
is your shot at making history.

Don't let it pass you by.

Isaac's saying
he should've just let it go

and not worried about it,

because he missed his chance
to make his mark.

[scoffs]
Isaac's right.

I need to stop sitting around
and complaining

and start doing everything
in my power

to make my restaurant a success.

FLOWER:
This might be way too late

to be asking,
but what is a ruffle?

Honestly, I got to say,
I knew hell was bad,

but it sounds really bad.
Totally.

Except for the constant playing
of Chumbawamba,

which is objectively awesome.[gasps]

So, do we have a deal?

Thor, no.

You don't want to do this,
Big Guy.

[sighs]

But Thor may be
going to hell anyways.

Why not take deal and make
things little more comfortable?

Trust me, he does not want
to start on the ground floor.

I mean, for one, that
floor is made of snakes.

Thor, think about it,
you've been here a long time.

If you were gonna go down on us,

don't you think it would have
already happened?

What you mean?
I'm saying yes,

you've done some bad stuff,
but you've been making efforts

to improve yourself.
Mm.

And maybe the universe
is taking note.

You remember two years ago
when Bela's boyfriend Eric

was electrocuted

and you saved his life
using your ghost power?

Yeah, Thor, that's one life
back in the plus column.

You do that a couple
more thousand times,

you're pretty much even.

Don't listen to them.
We're hell buddies.

And you remember all those years
as a ghost when you watched

over me as a young girl?

Comforting me
in my times of need.

Maybe we've all been given
a chance to learn

from our mistakes
and become better people.

And no one's done that
more than you.

Sorry, Elias...
[exhales]

...but Thor decide
to take Thor's chances.

Fine, but know this:
I will not rest

until I reap one soul
from this house.

Believe me when I say,

you have not seen
the last of me.

Morons.

That is the cue.

That is always the cue.

You have not seen the last...

♪ I get knocked down, but I get up again... ♪
Ooh.

TREVOR:
♪ I get knocked down ♪

♪ But I get up again ♪

♪ You're never gonna
keep me down... ♪

God, it's such a good song.

PETE: Isaac.

Something you said
got me thinking.

Did you ever actually
read the final version

of the Declaration
of Independence?

As a matter of fact, no.

Once I blew my chance
to be a part of it,

I couldn't bear
to look at the thing.

Right, 'cause there's a phrase
you said in the story.

"Pursuit of happiness."

Yes, it was something I said
in the heat of the moment.

They can't all be winners.

Well, they used it.

Right at the beginning
of the Declaration.

What? Really?

"Certain unalienable rights.

Life, liberty
and the pursuit of happiness..."

They used my words.

So I guess you did

make your mark on history,
in kind of a big way.

I guess I did.
What about "ruffle kerfuffle"?

Did that make it in?

Uh, I'm pretty sure no.

Okay. Well, still,

Isaac: one, Hamilton: zero.

Well, I mean,
he's on the ten-dollar bill.

Yeah, okay, then it's a draw.

Which is the best Hamilton's
ever done in a duel, am I right?

Yeah, h-he died.

[laughs]:
Yes, he did. The wimp.

Whereas I am immortal.

My words live on.

I have to tell the others.

Everyone? I'm famous!

Whereas Hamilton

bled out in a field
in New Jersey.

I bet he was really
ruffled about that.

Can't endorse the pettiness,
but love the pun.

If I'm being honest,
part of me isn't sure

about hiring a publicist.

I know I'm a good chef.
Shouldn't that be enough?

Everyone needs
a little help sometimes.

I don't know, it kind of feels
like I'm selling my soul.

I completely understand.

You know what?

I'm gonna have
to think about it.

Take as much time as you need.

And when you've made
your decision,

you know how to get
in touch with me. [laughs]

[cackles]
[laughs]

♪ I get knocked down, but I get
up again, you're never... ♪

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