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1
00:00:03,830 --> 00:00:06,430
Okay, Calvin,
before we go in,
2
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,100
let's make sure we have
our story straight.
3
00:00:08,100 --> 00:00:09,510
What story?
4
00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:12,040
We went to a sleazy casino
on the state line
5
00:00:12,140 --> 00:00:14,980
where your dad was
laundering stolen money,
6
00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:16,810
and now
he's in jail.
7
00:00:16,810 --> 00:00:18,480
End of story.
Okay.
8
00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:22,050
Calvin, my dad apologized
for getting us involved,
9
00:00:22,150 --> 00:00:24,390
and he did
take the fall.
10
00:00:25,220 --> 00:00:27,020
He didn't
take the fall.
11
00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:30,360
He did the crime.
He is the fall.
12
00:00:30,490 --> 00:00:31,490
Hold on.
13
00:00:31,590 --> 00:00:33,060
Calvin, wait. Hold on.
14
00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:34,630
No, Cal...
15
00:00:34,630 --> 00:00:37,470
I need your advice on what
to do with my dad's money.
16
00:00:37,570 --> 00:00:39,100
I'm not giving you
advice, Dave.
17
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:42,210
Okay, now, he did steal
the money, which is bad,
18
00:00:42,340 --> 00:00:45,870
but he stole the money from
bad people, which is good.
19
00:00:45,970 --> 00:00:49,710
Also, he put the money in
an educational savings account
20
00:00:49,810 --> 00:00:51,080
for Grover,
so, I mean,
21
00:00:51,180 --> 00:00:53,050
two goods outweigh
one bad, right?
22
00:00:53,150 --> 00:00:55,750
David, I almost
got hemmed up
23
00:00:55,850 --> 00:00:58,550
by your dad
and his foolishness once.
24
00:00:58,650 --> 00:01:00,490
I am not in it.
25
00:01:00,490 --> 00:01:02,260
So you think I should
give it back?
26
00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:07,030
I think that I'm never talking
about this again.
27
00:01:07,030 --> 00:01:08,230
I will move, Dave.
28
00:01:08,330 --> 00:01:10,930
Well, you've
threatened that before.
29
00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:12,440
I'll just follow you.
30
00:01:18,610 --> 00:01:20,480
Okay.
One more.
31
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:22,710
All right, you go. Go, go.
Okay, okay, okay.
32
00:01:22,810 --> 00:01:23,910
Okay. All right.
33
00:01:24,050 --> 00:01:25,510
- Okay.
- You better go, girl.
34
00:01:25,610 --> 00:01:27,320
You better go.
35
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:29,080
Okay.
36
00:01:36,390 --> 00:01:37,860
Uh...
37
00:01:38,790 --> 00:01:40,430
Dad. Good evening.
38
00:01:40,530 --> 00:01:45,100
Well, it certainly seems to
be a good evening for you.
39
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,770
Aw, that?
40
00:01:47,870 --> 00:01:50,270
No, uh...
That, uh, Courtney had a...
41
00:01:50,370 --> 00:01:53,910
eyelash on her lip, and I was
just helping her get it off.
42
00:01:53,910 --> 00:01:56,150
With your tongue?
No, I-I had to,
43
00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:57,680
- I had to blow it like...
- like--
44
00:01:57,780 --> 00:02:00,520
No, Dad, wait, wait,
please, please, please.
45
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:02,290
Don't say anything to Mom.
46
00:02:02,390 --> 00:02:04,820
Courtney and I are in
a really delicate place,
47
00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:06,550
and we're not sure
where it's going.
48
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,960
Nope, no need to explain.
All right? I'm not in it.
49
00:02:10,090 --> 00:02:11,630
Okay.
50
00:02:11,730 --> 00:02:13,630
Ow!
51
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:15,530
Ow!
52
00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:18,570
Wow.
53
00:02:18,670 --> 00:02:21,640
You can tell that boy
ain't got none in a minute.
54
00:02:22,940 --> 00:02:24,970
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
55
00:02:25,110 --> 00:02:26,540
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
56
00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:35,180
Oh, Dave,
I'm so sorry.
57
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,720
Yeah. It's bad.
58
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:40,990
You just got your dad
back in your life,
59
00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,060
and now, you're
losing him again.
60
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:45,160
You poor, poor man.
61
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,260
Thanks, honey.
62
00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:48,300
So...
63
00:02:48,430 --> 00:02:50,470
I hate to even
bring this up, but...
64
00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:51,630
Are we gonna keep the money?
65
00:02:51,730 --> 00:02:53,540
Are we?
66
00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:55,900
I want to so bad.
67
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,270
Oh, not as bad
as I do.
68
00:02:57,270 --> 00:02:59,310
Oh, I love you.
I love you more.
69
00:03:00,140 --> 00:03:02,210
Um, but what do we tell Grover?
70
00:03:02,310 --> 00:03:04,410
Okay. All right. Uh... You know,
71
00:03:04,510 --> 00:03:05,780
I think we have
to tell him the truth.
72
00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:07,550
You know, if we're
morally comfortable
73
00:03:07,650 --> 00:03:08,980
with what we're
doing, well,
74
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:10,650
we should be able
to explain that to him.
75
00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:14,590
Totally agree--
in theory-- but...
76
00:03:14,590 --> 00:03:16,960
I think the healthier
thing to do--
77
00:03:17,060 --> 00:03:19,600
for the child--
is...
78
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,200
to put a little spin on it
79
00:03:21,300 --> 00:03:24,170
till he's old enough to
understand the-the-the nuance.
80
00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:27,040
So, we'll lie.
I love you so much.
81
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,800
I love you.
82
00:03:31,940 --> 00:03:34,410
Hey, break yourself, fool.
Oh, God!
83
00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:37,180
Chili Mangold.
84
00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,280
You fall for that
every time, burrito.
85
00:03:39,380 --> 00:03:42,690
Uh, yup. And you do it
every time.
86
00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:43,820
What are you
doing here, man?
87
00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:45,420
What, I can't
stop by to see
88
00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:48,020
my old college roommate
for no reason?
No.
89
00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:52,090
You are here because
you want something
90
00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:54,530
or you want to rub my face
in something.
91
00:03:54,660 --> 00:03:56,060
Really, Malcolm?
92
00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:58,330
You think I would drive
all the way up here
93
00:03:58,430 --> 00:04:01,600
just to tell you I'm Mountain
West baseball coach of the year?
94
00:04:02,570 --> 00:04:05,540
You already know that.
95
00:04:07,210 --> 00:04:08,380
Yes, I do.
96
00:04:10,410 --> 00:04:11,650
Whose Corvette is that?
97
00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:13,080
You know whose Corvette
that is, baby.
98
00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:16,080
That's Chili Mangold's Corvette.
Chili.
99
00:04:16,220 --> 00:04:18,220
All right.
What's up, Chili?
100
00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:20,790
Hey, still doing that
third person thing, I see.
101
00:04:20,890 --> 00:04:22,660
Hey, it's just Chili
being Chili, baby.
102
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,830
Good to see you, man.
It's been too long.
103
00:04:25,930 --> 00:04:28,230
Come on, you got to do it
for me.
No, no, no, no.
104
00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:29,930
Chili. Come on, Chili.
I'm not really feeling it. No.
105
00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:31,370
Come on. No.
Chili, you got to
hit the Wiggle.
106
00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:35,870
Yeah.
You got to hit the Wiggle.
107
00:04:38,510 --> 00:04:40,240
There it is, baby.
108
00:04:40,340 --> 00:04:41,840
Wow.
109
00:04:41,940 --> 00:04:44,950
I don't know what this is,
but I want in.
110
00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:48,880
Dave, stop.
Uh-uh. Dave...
111
00:04:48,980 --> 00:04:51,190
- David, you... Yo, Dave.
- Dave, stop.
112
00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:54,560
Chili thinks this guy's got
that magic in his hips.
113
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:55,790
Ha.
114
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,590
All right, yeah.
Who's, uh, who's Chili?
115
00:04:58,690 --> 00:05:01,760
He's Chili.
Chili calls himself Chili.
116
00:05:01,860 --> 00:05:04,700
Oh, well, Dave thinks
that is so cool.
117
00:05:05,870 --> 00:05:07,100
Look, I got to bounce.
118
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:09,170
I'm scouting a catcher
at John Muir High,
119
00:05:09,270 --> 00:05:11,240
but, Malcolm, we got
to catch up, okay?
120
00:05:11,340 --> 00:05:14,480
Yeah, sure, sure. Um,
we should get dinner sometime.
121
00:05:14,580 --> 00:05:15,940
Hey, well, no time
like the present.
122
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:18,380
Yeah, but-but-but-but,
you know, I got this thing
123
00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:19,780
- that I got to do.
- Oh, come on, man.
124
00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:22,280
Forget your thing.
How often is Chili in town?
125
00:05:23,550 --> 00:05:24,920
You're coming over
for dinner tonight.
126
00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:27,290
Hey, Chili could wiggle that
into his schedule, baby.
127
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:33,900
His charm is infectious.
How can you not love that guy?
128
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:36,130
How much time you got?
129
00:05:38,770 --> 00:05:41,940
Good morning, Miss Tina.
Hey.
130
00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:44,570
I'm just here to get
Daphne's toys from last night.
131
00:05:44,570 --> 00:05:46,070
Okay.
132
00:05:46,070 --> 00:05:47,580
Beautiful day, huh?
133
00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:49,980
It's 50 degrees and overcast.
134
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:52,450
That's earthquake weather.
135
00:05:52,550 --> 00:05:56,520
Well, it's been a while since
we had a good shake-up, right?
136
00:05:57,790 --> 00:06:01,120
When those tectonic plates
build up all that pressure,
137
00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:03,390
something's got to give.
138
00:06:05,790 --> 00:06:07,400
Well, it's, um,
139
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:09,870
nice to see you
in such a good mood.
140
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,900
You've been
so stressed out lately.
141
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,470
You've been wearing
your shoulders like earrings.
142
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:17,670
Really?
Yeah.
143
00:06:17,770 --> 00:06:18,810
Oh, I guess I have been
144
00:06:18,910 --> 00:06:20,340
a little on
edge, but, hey,
145
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:24,580
it's amazing what a good
night's sleep will do.
146
00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:26,820
Mm-hmm.
147
00:06:27,950 --> 00:06:30,350
Morning.
Good morning, Mr. B.
148
00:06:30,450 --> 00:06:33,190
I love that color on you.
149
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:39,660
You two have a splendid day.
150
00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:43,000
Thank you. I-I think I will.
151
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,700
Okay.
152
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,410
That girl's gone out
and got her some.
153
00:06:51,540 --> 00:06:53,980
What? What would
make you say that?
154
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:55,640
Because I'm
a woman, Calvin.
155
00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:58,080
I know what the afterglow
looks like.
156
00:06:58,210 --> 00:06:59,650
Can't the girl
just be glowing?
157
00:06:59,650 --> 00:07:01,420
Uh-uh.
Not like that.
158
00:07:01,550 --> 00:07:02,990
You heard her say "splendid."
159
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,820
You know the last time
I said "splendid"?
160
00:07:04,820 --> 00:07:08,420
You and I were naked
in that waterfall in Ocho Rios.
161
00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:09,860
Ah.
162
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:13,030
It was pretty splendid.
163
00:07:13,130 --> 00:07:16,600
Ooh, poor Marty.
I wonder if he knows.
164
00:07:16,730 --> 00:07:18,300
I think he still has
feelings for her.
165
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,540
Okay, Tina,
I'm not in it,
166
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:24,310
and you're not in it,
so let's stay out of it.
167
00:07:25,110 --> 00:07:26,840
You know there's
no chance of that.
168
00:07:31,380 --> 00:07:33,720
Hey.
169
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:34,950
Uh, is-is Grandpa here?
170
00:07:35,050 --> 00:07:39,050
No. Uh, see, Grandpa
stayed in-in Nevada.
171
00:07:39,150 --> 00:07:41,860
He loves the desert, and he's
thinking about living out there.
172
00:07:41,860 --> 00:07:45,030
Yeah, in a,
in a planned community.
173
00:07:45,030 --> 00:07:46,760
Uh, why is his car outside?
174
00:07:46,860 --> 00:07:49,770
Look at you, noticing things.
175
00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:53,970
Yeah, uh, well,
you see, Grover,
176
00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:56,870
uh, Lady Luck shined
upon your grandpa,
177
00:07:56,870 --> 00:07:59,070
and he hit the jackpot
in a casino,
178
00:07:59,070 --> 00:08:00,610
so he bought
a new car.
179
00:08:00,740 --> 00:08:03,040
Oh, that's awesome. What-what
kind of car did he get?
180
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:04,450
A Chevy...
181
00:08:04,580 --> 00:08:08,620
G... T... R...
That's enough letters.
182
00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:12,450
But don't worry,
he won't be gone forever.
183
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,920
Okay, um,
maybe I'll text him.
184
00:08:15,020 --> 00:08:17,430
Oh, no, no, no. Don't do that.
No. Um...
185
00:08:18,590 --> 00:08:20,900
All right.
Are-are-are you two okay?
186
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,300
Yeah, we're fine. You okay?
Yeah.
187
00:08:23,430 --> 00:08:24,300
Yeah.
188
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:27,800
Okay. Go do your thing.
189
00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:30,640
That was close.
190
00:08:30,770 --> 00:08:33,210
This is the day he turns
into frickin' Columbo?
191
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:38,480
Calvin.
192
00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:43,250
What, Dave?
193
00:08:45,820 --> 00:08:47,590
I think Grover's onto us.
194
00:08:49,990 --> 00:08:51,630
He is asking
a lot
195
00:08:51,630 --> 00:08:54,160
of questions about
what happened to his grandpa.
196
00:08:54,260 --> 00:08:56,830
First of all, there is no "us."
197
00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,370
Your son, your dad,
your business.
198
00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:03,010
No, no, no. It is
all of our business.
199
00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:04,610
If we tell Grover
the truth about the money,
200
00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:07,510
he is going to be an accomplice,
just like you and me.
201
00:09:07,610 --> 00:09:10,010
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
202
00:09:10,110 --> 00:09:12,820
You have me confused
with someone who's in it.
203
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,850
But you agree
that we should keep it.
204
00:09:14,950 --> 00:09:16,350
I mean,
it's like you always say,
205
00:09:16,450 --> 00:09:18,390
"When it comes to money,
it's not where it's from,
206
00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:19,920
it's where it's at."
207
00:09:21,620 --> 00:09:23,090
I don't always say that.
208
00:09:23,190 --> 00:09:24,530
Yeah. But you're right.
209
00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:26,830
I don't think
I've ever said that.
210
00:09:26,830 --> 00:09:28,230
Okay.
211
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,400
Calvin, the important thing
to remember is this:
212
00:09:30,530 --> 00:09:33,130
if Grover asks
you anything,
213
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:36,500
my father is living in a planned
community in the desert,
214
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:39,240
you don't know his
new phone number, and
215
00:09:39,340 --> 00:09:41,940
he has a new car, a Chevy GTR.
216
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,510
Chevy does not make a GT...
217
00:09:44,610 --> 00:09:46,750
O-Okay. Okay.
218
00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:48,780
I see what you're doing.
219
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,590
I am not in it.
220
00:09:51,690 --> 00:09:54,720
And we're not talking
about this again.
Great.
221
00:09:54,820 --> 00:09:58,560
It's like you always say,
"Tight lips, tighter hips."
222
00:09:58,660 --> 00:10:01,100
I have literally
never said that.
223
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:08,440
Oh, hey, Marty.
224
00:10:08,570 --> 00:10:09,770
Oh, hey, Mama.
225
00:10:09,870 --> 00:10:13,980
So...
226
00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,580
Courtney seems well.
227
00:10:18,580 --> 00:10:19,610
Oh, she does.
228
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,320
Very well.
229
00:10:22,350 --> 00:10:23,790
Good for her.
230
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:27,660
You know, has anything changed
in her social situation?
231
00:10:28,860 --> 00:10:31,460
Okay, okay, okay.
I did not want to get involved.
232
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:33,400
I just don't want
to see you hurt.
233
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:36,030
Well, I just saw her,
and I can tell.
234
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,230
She's seeing someone.
235
00:10:38,230 --> 00:10:40,140
She seems
236
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,970
very, very,
very, very happy.
237
00:10:44,070 --> 00:10:45,510
Really?
238
00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:47,610
But, baby, you do not
have to be brave
239
00:10:47,710 --> 00:10:49,140
in front of me, okay?
Okay.
240
00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:51,280
Let the hurt out.
Come on, come on.
Oh.
241
00:10:51,380 --> 00:10:53,350
Come on. Give Mommy some.
Oh.
242
00:10:53,450 --> 00:10:55,220
Oh, my poor baby.
243
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,350
So what is your deal
with this Chili guy?
244
00:10:59,490 --> 00:11:01,660
You don't like him, but
you invite him over for dinner?
245
00:11:01,790 --> 00:11:04,330
No, Courtney.
I did not invite him.
246
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:05,430
What I said was,
247
00:11:05,530 --> 00:11:07,160
"We should get dinner,"
248
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:10,430
which everyone knows means
we should never get dinner.
249
00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:13,600
I mean, yeah,
what's not clear about that?
250
00:11:13,700 --> 00:11:15,140
It's like when me and you
go out to eat,
251
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:16,640
and I say "We should
split the check."
252
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,070
You know I ain't paying.
253
00:11:19,170 --> 00:11:22,640
Well, exactly, but everyone
doesn't fawn all over you.
254
00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:25,180
Chili gets away with murder
because he's charming
255
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:27,850
and he's...
he's got this inspiring story
256
00:11:27,950 --> 00:11:30,050
of coming over to America
when he was a child
257
00:11:30,150 --> 00:11:32,350
by stowing away
on a fishing boat.
258
00:11:32,450 --> 00:11:34,360
Damn, Malcolm.
259
00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:36,190
Don't make a thug cry.
260
00:11:36,990 --> 00:11:41,630
Okay. Okay, fine, so he's got
a heartwarming story.
261
00:11:41,730 --> 00:11:43,630
So that means I'm just
supposed to overlook
262
00:11:43,630 --> 00:11:45,300
all the foul stuff
he's done to me?
263
00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:47,070
All the times
I covered for his ass?
264
00:11:47,170 --> 00:11:49,170
And yet, he's the one that
gets blessed with everything.
265
00:11:49,270 --> 00:11:52,880
Yeah, that's true. And he's
always doing better than you.
266
00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:57,250
Hey, everybody. Oh.
Hey.
267
00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:58,950
Malcolm, Mom wants you
to go to Bristol Farms
268
00:11:59,050 --> 00:12:01,080
and get that French sour cream
for the baked potatoes.
269
00:12:01,180 --> 00:12:03,250
Of course, because
270
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,690
Heaven forbid
the great Chili Mangold
271
00:12:05,690 --> 00:12:07,490
eats domestic sour cream.
272
00:12:07,490 --> 00:12:10,190
Meanwhile,
273
00:12:10,190 --> 00:12:12,990
your mom gives me a cold
Pop-Tart and calls it breakfast.
274
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,100
She wrong for that.
275
00:12:14,230 --> 00:12:15,700
Man, you love
Pop-Tarts.
276
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:18,600
Yeah, the ones with frosting,
and she knows that.
277
00:12:21,870 --> 00:12:24,510
Oh, she is sound asleep.
Courtney,
278
00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:25,870
we have a problem.
279
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:29,680
My mom knows that
you've been pleasured.
280
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:31,080
Excuse me?
281
00:12:31,210 --> 00:12:35,150
Sexually. Apparently,
it is all over you.
282
00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:39,190
I shouldn't have
gone over there.
283
00:12:39,190 --> 00:12:40,520
What was
I thinking?
284
00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:41,960
That lady can see
right through me.
285
00:12:42,090 --> 00:12:43,790
She knew I was pregnant
before I did.
286
00:12:43,890 --> 00:12:44,890
Calm down.
287
00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:46,230
I mean, we did a thing,
288
00:12:46,330 --> 00:12:47,760
but we don't even know
if we are a thing.
289
00:12:47,860 --> 00:12:49,060
And now, she's gonna
make it a huge thing.
290
00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:50,430
No, no, no, no.
The good news is,
291
00:12:50,530 --> 00:12:51,930
she doesn't know
that you hooked up with me.
292
00:12:52,030 --> 00:12:53,970
All she knows is that
it was with someone
293
00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:56,740
who is great at sex.
294
00:12:57,940 --> 00:13:00,040
Get over yourself.
295
00:13:00,140 --> 00:13:02,950
I'm just saying, we just got to
keep it cool for dinner tonight.
296
00:13:03,050 --> 00:13:05,110
I know it might be hard,
but could you just try
297
00:13:05,210 --> 00:13:08,550
not to act like you didn't get
your world completely rocked.
298
00:13:08,550 --> 00:13:10,820
Okay.
299
00:13:12,050 --> 00:13:15,090
Chili Sauce. Hey, man.
You know what?
300
00:13:15,190 --> 00:13:17,960
Out of all of Malcolm's friends,
you're my favorite.
301
00:13:18,060 --> 00:13:19,460
Oh.
Hands down.
302
00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:21,800
I'm standing
right here.
303
00:13:22,830 --> 00:13:24,800
I said what I said, Trey.
304
00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:27,000
So, Chili,
305
00:13:27,100 --> 00:13:28,370
so good to have you.
306
00:13:28,470 --> 00:13:31,840
Um, so tell me,
what is Shohei Ohtani like?
307
00:13:31,970 --> 00:13:33,570
Mama.
308
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:36,980
Chili played two seasons
with the Mariners ten years ago.
309
00:13:37,110 --> 00:13:38,080
He does not know
Shohei.
310
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:40,980
Oh...
Actually, I do.
311
00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:44,250
I also played a few
seasons in Tokyo.
312
00:13:44,350 --> 00:13:46,350
Really?
Even picked up
a little Japanese.
313
00:13:46,490 --> 00:13:48,660
Oh. Domo arigato.
314
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:54,330
Hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
315
00:13:56,230 --> 00:13:57,170
Hey.
316
00:13:57,270 --> 00:14:00,300
Oh, uh, Gemma, Grover,
meet Chili.
317
00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:02,840
Oh, Dave's been doing
your wiggle all day.
318
00:14:02,940 --> 00:14:05,470
Oh, he is quite the dancer.
319
00:14:05,570 --> 00:14:07,540
He's... Sure.
320
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:11,380
Wait, so... so my dad
said you were a mariner?
321
00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:12,380
Yeah, that's right.
322
00:14:12,510 --> 00:14:13,720
Ah, that's so cool.
323
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:14,950
What kind of boat did you have?
Oh.
324
00:14:14,950 --> 00:14:16,680
Excuse me?
325
00:14:16,780 --> 00:14:18,690
He's not into
sports so much.
326
00:14:18,790 --> 00:14:20,060
Uh, was it a schooner?
Oh.
327
00:14:20,190 --> 00:14:22,490
Um...
328
00:14:23,390 --> 00:14:26,660
Marty, are-are you using
a new sort of facial scrub?
329
00:14:26,660 --> 00:14:27,830
No, why?
330
00:14:27,830 --> 00:14:30,100
'Cause you
are glowing.
331
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,500
You're getting it
from somewhere.
332
00:14:38,070 --> 00:14:41,140
What are you
doing? Get away.
333
00:14:41,140 --> 00:14:42,340
Get away.
334
00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:43,710
What?
335
00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:46,210
Dave just told me
I was glowing.
336
00:14:46,350 --> 00:14:47,880
Well, I guess
you've been
337
00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:50,120
pleasured sexually, too.
338
00:14:51,490 --> 00:14:53,760
It's all over you.
339
00:14:53,890 --> 00:14:56,090
Okay, okay, all right.
I'm establishing
340
00:14:56,190 --> 00:14:59,760
a 15-foot perimeter.
Do not violate it.
341
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:01,760
Radius or diameter?
342
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:04,230
You know damn well
I meant diameter.
343
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,330
Ooh, ooh, Calvin. Calvin.
Quick word.
344
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:08,570
What?
345
00:15:08,670 --> 00:15:09,840
I know Dave's kept
you in the loop
346
00:15:09,940 --> 00:15:11,240
on our little
money situation.
347
00:15:11,340 --> 00:15:13,440
Uh, yeah, and I'm trying
to stay out of the loop.
348
00:15:13,540 --> 00:15:15,910
I know, I know. I just,
I want to reiterate
349
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:19,280
how important it is that you
don't say a word to Grover.
350
00:15:19,410 --> 00:15:21,950
Right. Right, right,
right, right.
351
00:15:22,050 --> 00:15:23,890
You-you know what?
I'm glad you reminded me
352
00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:27,050
because Grover and I were going
bar-hopping tonight,
353
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,660
and, um, after
a couple of longnecks,
354
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:30,860
who knows
what I might say?
355
00:15:30,860 --> 00:15:32,690
Okay.
You know.
356
00:15:32,790 --> 00:15:33,930
Hey, Calvin, remember
357
00:15:34,030 --> 00:15:35,930
we went to see
Malcolm and Chili
358
00:15:36,030 --> 00:15:39,230
play against UCLA, and Chili
hit that walk-off homer?
359
00:15:39,330 --> 00:15:41,100
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, yeah.
360
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,200
That's when he did the dance
at the plate.
361
00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:44,970
They showed it on TV
and everything.
362
00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:46,710
Yup, yup.
The Chili Wiggle.
363
00:15:46,810 --> 00:15:49,040
Oh, that wiggle?
364
00:15:49,140 --> 00:15:51,910
Come on, Malcolm,
Wiggle with us.
365
00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:55,220
No, no, no, no.
Stop it. Stop it.
366
00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:56,920
Dave, for the love of God.
367
00:15:58,750 --> 00:16:02,790
There is no Chili Wiggle, okay?
It's the Malcolm Wiggle.
368
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,290
It was my thing.
I used to do it in the dugout,
369
00:16:05,390 --> 00:16:08,560
and then Chili did it on ESPNU,
and suddenly, it's his thing.
370
00:16:08,660 --> 00:16:11,670
Y'all just don't get it.
He didn't just take my dance.
371
00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:13,900
One time, he was about
to flunk out of school,
372
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,000
and he stole my term paper
and put his name on it.
373
00:16:16,140 --> 00:16:18,240
Yeah, but y'all think
he walks on water,
374
00:16:18,340 --> 00:16:21,140
but it's not true. I had
to bail him out constantly.
375
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,980
No, it's true.
It's true.
376
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,810
One time, I took a credit card
out in Malcolm's name,
377
00:16:26,910 --> 00:16:29,180
and we still owe Circuit City
$180 bucks.
378
00:16:31,150 --> 00:16:33,090
That's not funny, Pop.
379
00:16:33,090 --> 00:16:35,820
He's right, it's not, amigo.
380
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:38,660
And that's just one of the many
times I screwed over my friend.
381
00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:40,930
You see? Finally,
the truth comes out.
382
00:16:40,930 --> 00:16:42,930
Yes. And the truth is...
Mm.
383
00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:46,230
...I'm an alcoholic.
384
00:16:46,330 --> 00:16:49,270
There you go.
Malcolm Wiggle.
385
00:16:49,370 --> 00:16:51,210
Do the Malcolm.
386
00:16:55,380 --> 00:16:56,880
You say what now?
387
00:16:58,850 --> 00:17:00,450
That's the reason I'm here.
388
00:17:00,550 --> 00:17:01,720
I'm in a
12-step program,
389
00:17:01,850 --> 00:17:04,220
and I came to make amends
with Malcolm.
390
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,020
I'm sorry, brother.
391
00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:08,120
Aw.
Aw, Chili.
For everything.
392
00:17:08,220 --> 00:17:09,760
So brave.
I mean, it's tough, man.
393
00:17:09,860 --> 00:17:12,890
You know, drinking is...
Y'all have got to be
kidding me.
394
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:16,830
So you're not here
for a scouting trip?
395
00:17:16,930 --> 00:17:20,030
No. Don't be crazy. I got people
that do that for me.
396
00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:23,300
It's just, it's so great
to unburden, yes?
397
00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:25,170
If there's one thing
I've learned
398
00:17:25,270 --> 00:17:26,840
from my sponsor,
Robert Downey Jr., it's...
399
00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:28,810
Uh, okay, wow.
400
00:17:28,810 --> 00:17:30,680
Isn't that
supposed to be anonymous?
401
00:17:30,780 --> 00:17:33,480
You're right. RDJ taught me...
402
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,720
...the best part
about being sober is
403
00:17:36,850 --> 00:17:39,490
you can finally stop
with all the lies.
Mm.
404
00:17:39,490 --> 00:17:41,620
The lies we tell other people.
405
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,330
The lies we tell ourselves.
406
00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:45,160
Wow.
407
00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:51,570
Chili, would you eat a
Pop-Tart without frosting?
408
00:17:51,670 --> 00:17:54,870
No, I don't think
I would, amigo.
Yeah.
409
00:17:54,870 --> 00:17:58,440
You hear that,
Dave? Gemma?
410
00:17:58,570 --> 00:18:01,810
The lies you tell yourselves.
411
00:18:03,910 --> 00:18:05,750
What lies?
412
00:18:06,250 --> 00:18:09,280
Okay, fine.
413
00:18:09,420 --> 00:18:11,490
Grover, we should talk.
414
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:14,520
We have some bad news
about Grandpa.
415
00:18:14,620 --> 00:18:15,920
Is-is he dead?
416
00:18:16,060 --> 00:18:19,660
Oh. No. Actually, we have
some good news, then. Come on.
417
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:23,200
Calvin.
418
00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:24,500
Um...
419
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:27,470
I just cannot stand
seeing Marty like this.
420
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,200
Like what?
421
00:18:31,340 --> 00:18:35,980
Well, he's so upset,
he can't even be near Courtney.
422
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:38,550
I think it's messed up for her
to hang around here
423
00:18:38,650 --> 00:18:41,320
and play with Marty's emotions.
I'm gonna tell her.
424
00:18:41,450 --> 00:18:42,880
No, no, don't, don't,
don't, don't, don't.
425
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:45,320
Look, I tried
to stay out of it,
426
00:18:45,420 --> 00:18:48,020
but it looks like I got
to be all up in it.
427
00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:49,920
Okay. What?
428
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,460
All right, now, Tina,
what I'm about to tell you
429
00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:53,030
stays between us.
Okay.
430
00:18:53,130 --> 00:18:56,060
But you were right,
Courtney is getting some.
431
00:18:56,060 --> 00:18:58,070
I knew it.
432
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:00,640
From Marty.
433
00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:02,470
God is so good.
434
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:06,140
Oh.
Oh, okay, all right, all right,
okay, put your arms down.
435
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:08,510
Now, Marty and Courtney
will tell everybody
436
00:19:08,610 --> 00:19:09,510
when they are ready.
437
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:11,680
Okay, okay, I got it.
Okay.
438
00:19:11,810 --> 00:19:13,820
I know how to be cool,
you know.
439
00:19:14,980 --> 00:19:16,750
So...
440
00:19:16,750 --> 00:19:21,290
So good to see y'all
here tonight, together.
441
00:19:21,290 --> 00:19:23,790
You know, for Chili.
442
00:19:23,890 --> 00:19:26,060
Well, y'all enjoy, okay?
Have fun.
Okay.
443
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:28,030
Okay.
444
00:19:32,370 --> 00:19:33,740
Yeah...
445
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,670
She knows.
446
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:37,970
Dad, I can't believe
you told Mom.
447
00:19:37,970 --> 00:19:41,640
Look, she's your mother,
but she's my wife.
448
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:44,550
And you're not the only one
that wants that glow.
449
00:19:54,090 --> 00:19:57,230
So... it's okay to steal?
450
00:19:57,330 --> 00:20:00,430
See, that's the great thing.
We didn't steal.
Mm-mm.
451
00:20:00,530 --> 00:20:02,630
We just accepted money
that was stolen.
452
00:20:02,730 --> 00:20:05,030
Stolen from
bad people.
453
00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:08,400
And wouldn't giving it
back to them
454
00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:09,870
be worse than
keeping it ourselves?
455
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,940
Plus, they're
all dead.
456
00:20:13,710 --> 00:20:15,240
I should've mentioned that part.
457
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:17,410
I mean, we're not gonna give
money back to dead bad guys.
458
00:20:17,510 --> 00:20:18,750
That'd be silly.
Yeah.
459
00:20:19,750 --> 00:20:23,750
The point is, is that money
is gonna pay for your education.
460
00:20:23,850 --> 00:20:26,350
And you're gonna
clean that dirty money
461
00:20:26,450 --> 00:20:28,260
by doing something good with it.
462
00:20:28,390 --> 00:20:30,160
Like, you know,
going to college
463
00:20:30,260 --> 00:20:32,030
and discovering
a cure for a cancer.
464
00:20:32,030 --> 00:20:35,300
Not all cancers,
just one is plenty.
465
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,200
Or something environmental.
466
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:39,870
Like, fighting climate change,
that's a good one.
Mm.
467
00:20:39,970 --> 00:20:42,000
Wait, so...
468
00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:44,740
- Grandpa stole this money?
- Mm-hmm.
469
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:47,610
And you guys took it
and because of that
470
00:20:47,710 --> 00:20:48,840
I got to fix the whole world?
471
00:20:48,940 --> 00:20:51,110
Good deal, right?
472
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:55,020
Man... Life is so unfair.
473
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,560
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
474
00:21:02,660 --> 00:21:04,390
and TOYOTA.
475
00:21:04,390 --> 00:21:06,930
Captioned by
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