All language subtitles for The Fall of Diddy s01e03 Untouchable.eng

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[Tim Patterson] I didn't even
call Sean to tell him I was doing this.

I don't want
the public's perception to be swayed

as if this is a payoff
or if this is a favor.

This is just brotherly love.

So, there was one day
me and Sean went up to my mom's house.

My parents used to love
to play blackjack.

And everybody's
sitting at the table playing cards

and they see us come in.

And at that time
we had the germ of fame.

I had a record or two
on the radio.

They say "Y'all play
a hand of cards with us.

"Y'all got all the money."

Sean didn't know
how to play blackjack.

We played one hand
of cards with him.

Cards is being dealt.

Sean doesn't know
to turn his card over and only reveal one.

So he had both of his cards
turned up,

and he wasn't hiding them.

And people laughed.

"Boy, you better
hide your cards.

Don't be showing your cards."

And he looked at me
like "Yo, what I got?"

And I said, "You're good.

Don't even worry about it.
You're gonna win."

And he said,
"What do you mean?"

I said, "You're gonna win.
Don't worry.

You got 20.
It takes 21 to win."

He says, "For real?"

He says, "It's guaranteed
that I win?"

I said, "It ain't guaranteed,
but shit, it's damn near guaranteed."

He said, "I want it
to be guaranteed I win.

Give me another card."

Everybody at the table
looked at him like, "Boy, are you crazy?"

Dealer deals the card,
and it's an ace.

Twenty one.

The whole table went ham.

Oh, my God. Who is this boy?

He took all the money
off the table,

put it in his pocket,
and we left.

Everybody's yelling
for him to come back.

He said, "No, I won."

Who does that?

That's Sean.

All or nothing.

That's it.

That's who he is.

[crowd clamoring]

[Patterson] Sean Combs.
You can never count him out.

It's like the life of a cat.

[interviewer speaking]

Nine?

Shit.

I think that what has happened
in Puffy's life

is the byproduct
of extreme good fortune,

and that extreme good fortune
can also be a paradox of power.

It's a yin and a yang.

In order
to get all the goodies,

you've got
to have this confidence

that you can
get all the goodies.

And so Puffy created
a cult of personality.

[Tisa Tells]
After the nightclub shooting,

when he was acquitted,
he went into PR overdrive,

Who said we had
to have one name?

[Tells] He rebranded himself
as P. Diddy.

He wanted to put
a clear divider

between who he was
and where he's going.

[Diddy] You know,
I don't really just play by the rules.

I create my own rules.

Puff wanted to get rid
of this image of him as a thug.

He's changing his name.

[woman]
But is he a changed man?

[crowd applauding]

Puffy knew
how the media worked,

and he knew
how important it was to maintain an image.

I have a big announcement
to make today.

I will run
the New York City Marathon

to raise money and awareness
for three charities.

[Nori] We start
to see Sean Combs

engage in these
kind of stunts.

In the 2004 election, he starts
to talk about this Vote or Die campaign.

This election
is life or death.

Now we're going
to make voting cool.

He's now mingling
with future President Obama

at the time
when Obama's career was on the rise.

I just want to say
how much I appreciate Puff Daddy

for doing the kinds of work
that he's doing

because he doesn't have
to do this.

[Mark Anthony Neal]
Sean Combs shows up in a Broadway production

that's revisiting
A Raisin in the Sun,

one of the first plays
by a Black woman produced on Broadway.

[female newscaster] Sean P. Diddy Combs
is winning over audiences on Broadway.

[Neal] Combs found a way
to rise again.

Is there anything
this man can't do?

He was seen, to many people in
the media, as a safe person of color.

At the time,
reality TV was exploding.

[Mark Jacobs]
There were all these competition reality shows

with mega moguls
and different aspects of culture.

And there were contestants
vying to be able to have it on their resume.

They worked for Trump,

they worked for Paris Hilton,
they worked for Diddy.

I was the director,
director of photography and co-executive producer

of I Want to Work for Diddy
on VH1.

[announcer] To live
the dream, you have to work for it.

I Want to Work for Diddy.

[Jacobs] I was
quite blown away

that I was actually
directing this guy

and telling this guy
what to do.

I think to work
for a narcissist, you have to become one,

and I think that's what
the show's success was.

Exposing the narcissist
in Diddy.

The last episode of I Want to Work
for Diddy starts at The London hotel.

The brand spanking new
never slept in presidential suite.

I was planning to go up and talk
to Sean and block it out with him

before we started.
My AD is with me,

and I knock on the door,
I come in,

and to the right
is this pretty grandiose staircase.

So I'm standing there
a good five minutes.

He comes down,
he's got a robe on, it's open.

He's got nothing on.
He's just naked.

Like it was nothing.

He knew I was there.
He knew we were waiting.

There was a moment
where it's like, "Wow."

I guess somebody at that level
can really, truly do,

and say whatever
they want to do and say, period.

[D. Woods] From the outside,
he was this mogul.

He was this guy who, you know,
could make your dreams come true.

But then,
there was the other side.

It might not be so safe.

I have not shared my story
in a public way.

In a very truthful,
uncensored way.

I was one of five girls
in Danity Kane

on Making the Band 3.

The premise of the show was Diddy
was gonna find the next superstar group.

[Woods] Our first album
was number one on the Billboard charts.

First week out,
we beat Christina Aguilera and OutKast.

It was our first
single showstopper.

?? We show stoppin'
We show show stoppin' We show stoppin...?

[Woods] Like I love the fact
that fans still listen to Danity Kane.

It takes a lot for me
to allow you to have your experience

and not taint it.

And still

understand what
my experience was.

And, um, it was not
a good experience.

You know,
hearing some of those songs,

bring up...

awful memories.

I see myself standing
in those dark, scary predatory spaces,

and hearing somebody
say some of the most degrading things to me,

and at the age of 20 and 21,

having to figure out
how to navigate

and not let that person
break me down.

I remember one time
where he had the cameras there

while we were, like,
trying on clothes, so he could watch us.

He's going to point
this little camera at us for Diddy,

so he can judge
our appearance.

I called it
like Jedi mind tricks.

This happened so early on.

He was going
one by one by one,

just like
critiquing our style.

And when he got to me,
It wasn't about the clothes.

[Diddy] What's your stomach
looking like?

Are you still
a little thick?

And I was like,
"Well, you know,

next to these skinny girls,
I'm always gonna look thick."

I'm working out. I'm running.

I always feel thick
next to these skinny chicks.

Puff was just saying, "You look like,
you know, you one cheeseburger away.

You know that.
You know that, right?

You know that
you one cheeseburger away,"

like he wanted me
to agree with him.

You're like a burger away.

And it was like,
like I just, I had to just take it.

Grit my teeth
and let him say what he wanted to say.

[Mara S. Campo] I remember feeling
like Diddy was this tough love boss.

But looking at Making the Band
through today's lens

makes it clear
that the body shaming,

verbal abuse, intimidation
was rampant.

He was singling out
different ones of us, especially Aubrey.

Aubrey always stuck out
as one of the stars.

One of the fan favorites.

He had an aggressive,
intimidating way with her.

I remember one scene
where he was like, "What do you have to say?"

Aubrey, you ain't got
nothing to say?

You've got such a big mouth
when I'm going.

What you got to say?
Say it now.

The way Puff and Aubrey
went back and forth was very uncomfortable

to witness, to watch.

[Aubrey] He was
the hardest person that you can work for,

and it was torture.

And not the work part of it,
but the other stuff.

I remember her
sharing with me...

that he has sent her
a lot of very inappropriate pictures.

I saw a lot of things
that he would email her.

Very sexual in nature.

Very... just like,

overtly like pornographic,

like, things
that he wanted to do to her.

She was just kind of like,
"What do I do?"

I remember telling her,
"Girl, put that in a folder.

Send it to your mama.

Save that."

[Woods] Aubrey and I
decided to go to New York for Fashion Week.

Aubrey came into my hotel room
and told me

that she ran into Puff
in person,

and he had
pulled her in close,

and he said,
"Now you're hot enough that I can [bleep] you.

I can [bleep] you now."

It was like a moment of shock.

A moment of...
your stomach turning.

A moment of just like...

We're definitely
in over our heads.

And then all of a sudden it was this
mandatory meeting that needed to happen.

We thought we were "off".

We thought
we had finished filming.

It was just like...

What in the entire [bleep]?

So what do you think
is gonna happen tomorrow?

Yeah, we just walked
into the lion's den.

We get to the Bad Boy Offices.

We're in the conference room.

It was very Donald Trump
Apprentice style.

The vision
that I had for the group,

this ain't the vision
that I'm on.

You know what I'm saying?

[Woods] The whole group
of Danity Kane sitting at the table

when Puff was saying to Aubrey
she was promiscuous,

saying that he didn't like
her image and her body.

[Diddy] I don't like what
she does to the brand

when she's wilding out there
being overly raunchy, promiscuous.

[Woods] Puff fired Aubrey.

I don't want you
in the group no more.

And then he turned to me
and said, "Get out."

You can go too.

I believe that
he fired Aubrey...

One, because
she did not succumb to his advances.

Two, because he wanted her
to feel powerless

and question her worth.

I feel like that's probably
the same reason

why he probably
got rid of me, too.

[Campo] At the time,

the press was really
very much against the girls of Danity Kane,

making it seem
like they were the problem.

[Roundtree] There is
a real sense of fear surrounding Diddy.

If you go through
a timeline of his history,

there is that kind of sprinkle
or a trail of violence,

of aggression,
of intimidation,

that has popped up
throughout the years.

But it always kind of
was explained away

because Diddy is so big
and has so much power.

By 2007,
Diddy's wealth just starts rapidly multiplying.

[woman]
Sean Combs is one of the most influential beacons

in luxury culture today.

He then lands
a huge partnership with Diageo.

I am proud to announce
a groundbreaking strategic alliance

between myself
and CIROC Vodka.

[Neal] He becomes synonymous
with this brand,

and he transcends everything
that he had been before.

[Roundtree] This would prove
to be so lucrative for Diddy.

He later expands
to tequila with DeLeon.

Over the course
of their relationship,

Diageo paid Combs
a billion dollars.

I am the American dream.
This is Black history.

[Campo] He continued
to expand his brand.

He got into media
with REVOLT TV.

I am the former
managing editor

and global news anchor
for REVOLT TV.

Hey everyone,
and welcome to the show.

I'm Mara S. Campo.

It was the only place
I've ever worked

where I felt like
I could show up 100% as my authentic self.

There was one experience
that I actually found to be quite funny,

where I had a bottle
of Casamigos

that I had to leave
in my office.

When I got back to my office,
the bottle was in the trash.

They said if Puffy had
come in and seen a bottle of Casamigos,

meaning something that was not
DeLeon, he would have gone ballistic.

To be successful in business, you have
to take your brands very, very seriously.

And clearly he did that.

What's going on?
Just sending you some love.

We're on set.
We're working hard.

We know y'all working hard.

Love.

[Campo] My experience
in the Diddyverse was actually quite positive,

although I did not
directly work for him.

But what we've heard
from those who have worked with him

is that he used the same
fear and intimidation and coercion tactics

in the workplace
as he did with his enemies.

[Jourdan Cha'Tuan]
I was Puff's personal chef.

Since the news broke
about Puff, it brought everything back.

I've been quiet
for 17, 18 years,

and because of it
being brought back,

I went into a trunk
that I have in my house

that actually had
my journal entries from around that time,

and I read over them.

And there's a lot of things
that I forgot or buried.

I started working for Puff
in the summer of 2007.

I am Sean Combs'
personal chef.

I was in my early 20s,
and I'm just like, you know, I'm excited.

His level of success,
his level of power, and his reach.

Who wouldn't want
to be associated with him?

Puff was the top.

-[Diddy] Hey, Chef.
-[Cha'Tuan] Yeah.

[Diddy] Mr. Combs
would like to see.

[Diddy] What do we got
for dessert?

[Cha'Tuan] Fruit.

[Cha'Tuan] I was
definitely intimidated.

I have some
of my journal entries here.

Puff would notoriously
berate you, embarrass you, belittle you.

I was having
constant anxiety attacks and heart palpitations.

I was diagnosed
with stress induced alopecia.

My hair started to fall out.

And then I saw a cardiologist

who said that
my body couldn't handle the stress levels.

He said to me,
"If you keep this job any longer than a year,

you'll be dead."

When I discussed
what was going on

with a few other people
that worked, it was kind of like a joke.

It was like, "Oh yeah,
well, you're official now. Welcome."

You know,
you're not really official

until you have some sort of
breakdown around here.

I think his expectation
of others

was how he operated
within his own life.

He really is
a "can't stop, won't stop. No sleep."

That is really
how he operates.

But there's also
a lot of drugs being used.

I saw lots of different pills.

I know that there
was like ecstasy, definitely alcohol.

So I kind of was like,
"He's just tripping because he's coming down."

Like I'm not paying him
any attention.

But there was a specific time
Puff comes downstairs and he's yelling,

"I'm so [bleep] tired
of hearing about you and your [bleep] attitude,

"and all you've got to do
is cook the [bleep] food."

Me and him are like
face to face like this,

and he's just like,
he does like this to my forehead,

and he's just like,
you know, like,

and I'm telling him like,
"Don't [bleep] touch me,"

and now tears
are coming down my eyes.

And he's like,
"You're [bleep] crying, you're [bleep] crying

and there's kids starving
in Africa,

and you over here
[bleep] crying?

And all you got to do
is cook [bleep] food?"

He was just
getting madder and madder.

And so I walk away
and I'm opening up the refrigerator.

And I remember him
saying, "Yeah, you're [bleep] crazy."

And then I just remembered
slamming the door

and being like,
"Yeah, that's right. I'm [bleep] crazy.

And you know what else?
I quit."

Me saying that I quit
like, enraged him more,

because he's like,
"You can't [bleep] quit on me.

You can't [bleep] quit
on me."

And I just remember
turning around and saying, "[bleep] you."

And when I turned around
and I said that to him,

he used all of his force,

and he just shoved me,
like he pushed me.

And I went flying outside
of the doorway

and I ended up
on my elbows and my butt.

I'm telling the office,
I'm gonna sue this mother [bleep]."

They understood
that I was upset,

but they're like,
"If you sue him, your career is over.

You will be blackballed.

He does have the power
to do that, and he will do that."

Puff scared me.

So I kept quiet
about things that I knew

because I was afraid
that something might happen to me.

[Roger Bonds]
I've seen Diddy in incidents

with multiple women
with violence.

One time,
I remember telling him,

"Yo, I think
you got a problem."

He looked at me
and he was like,

"I ain't got
no mother [bleep] problem."

So he said,
"Sometimes you just gotta

let these hoes know
who the boss is."

From 2006 to 2012,

nobody else spent more time
with Puff than I did.

I was his everyday bodyguard.

It meant so much to me
to get with Diddy

because of who I was
and what I've been through.

I was incarcerated
for a little while,

so to me,
that was a stepping up.

One of the reasons
that I got with Puff

was because
he was a older guy,

so I felt like it's just a matter
of time before he simmers down.

But he was still waking me up
at 4:00 or 5:00 in the morning

talking about, "Yo, we getting
ready to go to the club?"

And I remember lots of drugs.

When he was on drugs,

it enabled him to stay up
for two or three days at a time.

At that time,
you had different people that Diddy did respect,

telling him, You need help."

And when that didn't happen,
I seen a spiral and the spiral was going down.

There was a time
he had a fight in Miami,

and when we was
running out the door,

he seemed to think
it was funny.

He looked at me
and he told me, he said, "I got time, Bonds."

I said, "What you got
time for?"

He said, "I got enough money
for one more big fight

that I could pay
the people off."

In my mind, I was like,
"Yo, this dude is crazy."

Who wants to get into a fight
to have to pay somebody?

Diddy, he always wanted you
to agree with what he said,

and if you don't agree
with what he said,

he had his way
of getting rid of you.

Coming home from jail,

I couldn't move on
to nothing better.

And so I was even willing
to turn a blind eye to some of the bad things

because Diddy
would always say,

"You should be thankful
for being here."

He was just
a master manipulator.

So when I look at him now,
I say, the respect that I had for him,

the way that
I looked up to him when I first started,

it's all gone
because I know it's a facade.

I like to value my success
on not the monetary aspect.

It's how many lives I could touch
and change and help to give a chance to.

[Campo] Diddy did such
a good job of presenting himself.

And so I,
like most of the world,

did not fully realize
the extent of the darkness.

Lil Rod is the first man
that has come forward

with some of these allegations
of sexual assault.

There are a lot of things
that stood out in Lil Rod's lawsuit.

"Mr. Jones witnessed,
experienced, and endured many things

that went far beyond his role
as a producer on The Love Album."

[Lil Rod] When I started
working with Puffy,

I was very, very excited.
For me,

I had already won
just to be sitting in a room with him.

It didn't get any better
than that.

But knowing everything
that I know now, I would never work for Puffy.

My name
is Rodney Jones Junior, also known as Lil Rod.

I produced
The Love Album: Off The Grid for Sean Combs.

Working with Puff,
you never know who you're dealing with.

So some days he would walk in

and be one
of the coolest guys.

And then some days
he walked in and he's just being a thug.

I remember one time
he was asking me

how much was I
going to charge him

for working on his album.

Before I knew it,
he was up in my face.

He's like, "Yo,
you don't charge me no money.

I'm Puff Daddy.

I'll eat your face off."

I never got paid as a producer
for The Love Album still to this day.

Puff making threats,
that's who he is.

A bully in a suit.

Puffy crossed the line
so many times.

We were at
Puffy's Los Angeles house, working in the studio.

He says,
"I want to work in my bathroom.

Everybody bring everything."

So we break down the studio,

get the instruments
and go to his bathroom as usual.

And he strips himself
in front of us

and jumps right
into the shower.

But he's looking directly
at me.

You know what I mean?

I found myself
getting a pat on my butt.

It felt uncomfortable,
and still feels uncomfortable.

I was very unsure
what to think and how to feel.

It's not something
that I ever want to happen again.

I did at some point
raise this issue to one of the chief of staff

and she would tell me,

"Oh, that's just his way
of showing he likes you or loves you.

You should just downplay it
like it's nothing."

And it just happened
over and over.

Working with him,
there was a lot of abuse that came with it.

[interviewer speaking]

No.

There's so much more
that he did.

Puffy would require us
to go to the club

and bring back
multiple choices of women

for himself and whoever
he deemed necessary to have fun with.

So more than often, we did spend a
lot of our time going to the strip clubs

to get sex workers
to bring back to the house.

You'll see girls come
at the Miami house.

That happened quite often.

Lots of women,
lots of partying,

lots of drugs,
lots of alcohol.

I even found myself
a couple of times

waking up next
to some of the sex workers.

And you know, it felt like it just
went from zero to 10, like quickly.

[interviewer talking]

I feel like
I was for sure drugged.

I feel like the drinks
were spiked.

It's not like I don't know
how to handle my liquor,

so for me to be having a drink

and then I wake up
trying to remember

exactly how I got here,
what's going on.

I can only imagine
that somebody tapped me.

Everybody was sipping
on the Puffy juice.

That makes me feel
very used, abused.

It makes me feel like
only a monster can do this.

As disturbing
as Lil Rod's lawsuit was,

there have been
more shocking things that have come out.

[sighs]

[Thalia Graves]
I've tried to put it away for all these years,

but even now
it's a lot. [sighs]

The color red for me
is a trigger.

It took a lot
to wear this red shirt today.

Um, you know,
'cause it's a process.

I'm trying-
I'm trying to get there.

I can't listen
to any Bad Boy music without it triggering me.

I cannot hear his voice

without it making
my stomach hurt.

That effing monster.

Back in 2000,
I was living in Queens.

I was a mom
in the middle of a divorce,

so kind of maintaining
house and home first.

And then I started dating
a Bad Boy executive.

Through my boyfriend,

I met Sean Combs
at Daddy's House Studio.

It was just a normal,
"Hey, how you doing?

"Welcome to the fam.
Welcome to Bad Boy."

That was the atmosphere.

Very fun. Very upbeat.

At that time,
Diddy was the jokester, the prankster.

But now, thinking back,
Diddy would make remarks

that if you have
to really think back to it,

it's like, ugh,
a little weird.

Like, "Hey,
don't leave her alone over here.

You've got a pretty girl.
She's a little thing."

Now, in hindsight,

it's like
we're prepping yourself for the kill.

And then what happened in 2001
changed my whole life.

I was home in Queens.

I got a call
from one of the people at Bad Boy Studios.

They said,
"Puff wants to talk to you

because your boyfriend
is [bleep] up at work again."

There was nothing alarming
about Puff wanting to talk to me

because we've had
a conversation about him screwing up at work

prior to this,
to get him back on track.

A little while later,

this burgundy Escalade
pulls up,

and Puff
was sitting in the back, so I jumped in the back.

And he said, "Hey, what's up?

Do you want something
to drink?"

I said, "Sure, what you got?"

And he was drinking something
in a red Solo cup.

And he gave me a clear glass,
like a little cup with some white zin.

By the time we got to
Daddy's House Studios,

I started feeling
a little woozy, lightheaded.

I kept doing this,
trying to feel my face

because it kept feeling
a little numb.

I remember getting out
the Escalade.

Still, I'm thinking
we're going to go to the studio

and my boyfriend's
gonna be there.

But at this time,
we went down the hallway

to a door and a lounge
that I've never been to.

And I remember sitting
on the dark couch.

Puff was sitting there
on the couch with me,

and I'm not sure
for how long I was sitting there.

And I started feeling
a lot more fuzzier,

and I remember crying.

And the next thing I remember

was I was slammed
on a pool table.

I was naked

[exhales] on the pool table,

and my hands
were tied behind my back.

And I kept trying to do this
to try to figure out what was tying me.

It felt like plastic bags.

Puffy was standing by the bar
and he was naked.

There was a jar on the bar.

And he put on something
on his privates that-

Like, I smell it.
It smelled like menthol.

And he was slathering it in.

[breathes deeply]

[sobbing]

[sobbing]

So... [sniffles]

I was still trying
to figure out what's going on.

[exhales]

And Puffy came up
behind me [sniffles]

[breathing deeply]

and went straight in my anus

to where I ended up
throwing up on the pool table.

[sniffling]

And screaming.

And I'm not sure

if there was anything
coming out my voice while I was screaming,

but I could
feel the burn anally, [sniffs]

and I was trying
to try to kick him.

I'm short so my feet wouldn't
even touch the ground,

and I was trying to kick him

and I was trying to hold on
to the table at the same time.

At some point, Puffy stopped,
went back to the bar, wiped himself off

because I'm looking at him
like this, still tied,

and trying to-
trying to see everything I possibly can,

and trying to focus
'cause it was a big blur.

And then he came back
and went into me vaginally.

And, um...

[exhales]

He said something.

I'm not sure what he said
or if he was even talking to me.

Um...

And then when I came back to,

I was back on the couch.

I had stuff all over me, um,
from throwing up, drooling,

whatever it was.

But this time,
I didn't have the ties anymore on my hands.

I had red panties on.
I couldn't find my panties.

I remember putting on my bra,
putting my dress on.

I don't even remember
if I put the dress on correctly.

And I ran out the door.

I was terrified.

I just didn't want to die.

I remember running out,
going downstairs, and running down the block.

I didn't see anybody.
I was just gone.

I ended up
calling a cab driver that I knew.

When he came and picked me up,
I jumped in the front seat.

I was a mess.

And he was in shock.

His exact words were
"What the F happened?"

Did you get hit by a truck?
A car?

Did you have an accident?"

And he was
checking out my wrist

because I had bruises
and welts on my wrist.

And he took me straight
to Elmhurst Hospital.

I couldn't go in.
I couldn't go in.

I couldn't move.

[exhales] I was scared,
not just for my life,

I was scared for my parents
finding out,

just because, you know,
I didn't want to embarrass them.

I didn't want
to embarrass myself.

And I didn't want
to go to the police

because I was in the middle
of a child custody battle and a divorce,

and I didn't want anything
stopping this process.

And he was trying
to convince me to go into the hospital,

and I just wanted to go home.

And just sit in the shower
for about an hour, and that's what I did.

I'm trying to scrub,
literally, like scrub your life away.

I have stayed in bed,

and hiding from my parents
for three days in the same household,

because I still
couldn't fathom what happened.

It didn't seem... real.

And then came the questions.
"Why me?"

You know,
we were supposed to be cool.

We were supposed
to be like friends.

We were supposed to be,
you know, you know me.

Those were all the thoughts
going through my head while I was hiding.

Soon after that, I got a call.

And it was Puff.

I was terrified.

He said, "Ay.
Keep your effing mouth shut."

And then he hung up the phone.

Puffy has ways
of finding out stuff and making things happen.

I need to get the hell away
from New York.

I ended up disappearing
for a few years.

I was a total wreck,
hanging on to sanity by a thread.

Trying to cope
with being raped and assaulted,

trying to raise a child,

depression,

trying to fight every day
to keep yourself alive,

because at that point
there was nothing there.

There was nothing to say, "Okay, you've
got tomorrow to live for, right?" So...

Every day.
Every day was a battle.

Every day was a struggle
to try to keep me

from either killing myself
or doing something stupid.

Today, I'm still coping with
and trying to get through it.

Because in November of 2023,
I was told by my ex-boyfriend

that my assault
was actually recorded on tape.

For me, it was like,
why would somebody record raping somebody,

and then you show
it to other people?

I was so angry.

And then he said, "Do you see
what's happening in the news with Cassie?"

[newscaster 1]
Sean Diddy Combs, the disgraced music mogul.

[newscaster 2]
Sean Diddy Combs.

[newscaster 3]
Sean Diddy Combs, facing a slew of allegations,

including rape
and sex trafficking.

She opened up
a can of worms with Puff.

[newscaster 3] ...forcing her
into unwanted sexual encounters

through the use
of illegal substances and threats of violence.

The acclaimed music producer
vehemently denying the allegations.

I always believed
that I was the only victim.

[newscaster 4]
These are the first of what could be

scores of lawsuits.

[policeman] I'm definitely looking at a
piece of property that is owned by Sean Combs.

[newscaster 5] It has been
a staggering fall from grace.

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