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1
00:00:00,130 --> 00:00:03,799
My favourite writer is
John Grisham.
2
00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:06,439
Taut, exciting and always
with a twist in the tale.
3
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:07,719
Boom!
4
00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:08,959
Dynamite, big man.
5
00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:11,719
That'll light up the Daily Saltire
website.
6
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,359
KNOCK AT DOOR
7
00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:17,599
Sir, I need to book you in for
the Check Your Privilege workshop.
8
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,199
Oh, you'll enjoy that, Chief.
9
00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:21,839
Which of my particular privileges
am I checking?
10
00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:23,599
Uh, all of them.
11
00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:25,839
All of them? How many do I have?
12
00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:28,400
HE MOUTHS SILENTLY
13
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:31,519
Oh a lot.
14
00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:34,079
Well, it's important work.
15
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:38,519
We must all be aware of our inherent
biases and unconscious privileges.
16
00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:41,719
When is it? Thursday week.
Ah, no, can't do it.
17
00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:44,839
I'm keynote speaker at the
Malt Whisky Society AGM.
18
00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:47,599
Me, Gavin Hastings and
Lord Mackay of Clashfern.
19
00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:50,399
Careful, chief. You're straying
into privileged territory there.
20
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,599
The whole point of being
in a privileged position
21
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,999
is so that I can dodge things like
the Check Your Privilege workshop.
22
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,879
I'll tell them you've got, uh,
a SCOBRA meeting, sir.
23
00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:01,159
I'll play the national security
trump card.
24
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:04,040
SCOBRA. Very good, Paul.
25
00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:06,959
Daily Saltire, you say?
26
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:08,239
Yeah, Grisham's American.
27
00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:11,880
We don't want the Nats picketing
the office. Let's go again.
28
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,959
My favourite writer is
Sir Walter Scott.
29
00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:20,000
Taut, exciting and always
with a twist in the historical tale.
30
00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:24,199
Hey, Paul!
31
00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:26,919
Run a Google search on Walter Scott.
32
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,759
Make sure he wasn't a slave owner.
33
00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:31,000
SIREN BLARES
34
00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:35,679
HE BLOWS SHARPLY
Ah! Chief!
35
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,519
Ah, Lindsay! Eh, ah, if you have
a second,
36
00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:40,399
I want to talk to you about the
Recruit of the Year.
37
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,359
Ah, yes. Looking forward to it.
38
00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:43,839
I was Recruit of the Year.
39
00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:47,599
You know, I can still remember
the Chief Commissioner's speech.
40
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:49,919
"Raise your truncheon high and go
41
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:52,639
"amongst them with purpose
and vigour."
42
00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,159
Ha! Wonderful stuff.
43
00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,759
Quite the image of gratuitous
brutality.
44
00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:58,359
Yes, those were the...
45
00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:00,759
..the terrible, inappropriate times.
46
00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:02,999
In the rear view mirror now,
thankfully.
47
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:06,599
Yeah. Since The Recruit of the Year
is female, there's pressure
48
00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:10,039
to have a female presenting
the award.
49
00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:11,519
Pressure from who?
50
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:13,199
The tides of history.
51
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,639
It's been a patriarchy
for centuries, Chief.
52
00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:17,319
Well, that's probably why
we're so good at it.
53
00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:19,039
There's no substitute
for experience.
54
00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:20,639
Recruitment among women is down,
55
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,399
and we need to do something
about it.
56
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,719
Well, who are you thinking of?
Lorraine Kelly?
57
00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:26,999
Your deputy, Katriona.
58
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,239
Muldoon!
59
00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:32,119
No, no. The rank and file
expect to see the main man.
60
00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:35,119
I went to the theatre once
to see Sir Anthony Hopkins
61
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:38,999
and got his understudy - the boy
with the big nose from The Bill.
62
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,039
Audible groans of disappointment.
63
00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:42,559
We wouldn't want that.
64
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:46,199
It would send a powerful message
to young women.
65
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,719
So would seeing me!
66
00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,599
They'll think,
"One day I'll be that man."
67
00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:51,639
If they see Katriona up there,
68
00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:53,999
they'll just think,
"Ah, it's already been done."
69
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:55,280
Thanks for the feedback.
70
00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:05,679
Survey after survey.
The facts don't lie.
71
00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:09,039
The Scottish public still see
their police force overwhelmingly
72
00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:10,160
as a boys' club.
73
00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:14,759
Boys' club? No, no, no.
74
00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:19,519
My priority is gender equality
and inclusion.
75
00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:20,919
I'm glad to hear it, Chief.
76
00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:22,279
You know, it is high time
77
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:24,959
that we considered a female
Chief of Police.
78
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,239
Oh! Ah!
79
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,440
Sorry, could you...? Apologies.
80
00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:36,199
Maybe not HIGH time. IN time.
81
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:38,719
Sometime...many years down the road.
82
00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:40,599
Relax, relax, Cameron.
83
00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:41,959
I don't mean this minute.
84
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,039
We're future proofing.
85
00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:48,559
I mean, you know, you could get hit
by a tram tomorrow...or cancelled.
86
00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:50,639
Cancelled?! No, no.
87
00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:54,599
Not me. You know, my cupboards
are skeleton-free zones.
88
00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:57,399
I threw out the fake plastic breasts
a long time ago.
89
00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:58,839
THEY LAUGH
90
00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:00,559
So how about your deputy, Muldoon?
91
00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:01,880
Could she step up?
92
00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:04,519
Katriona? Yeah.
93
00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:06,879
Well, in a hypothetical,
speculative,
94
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,399
very-unlikely-to-happen world.
95
00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:10,999
She's a capable officer.
96
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,199
Strengths? Hardworking.
97
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,250
Brave.
98
00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:16,330
Loyal.
99
00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:20,279
Mm. Do you want to hear, uh,
100
00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:22,039
do you want to hear her weaknesses?
101
00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:25,919
I could list all her weaknesses
for you if you...if you'd like that?
102
00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:28,159
Oh, no. You can always work on
weaknesses.
103
00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:31,039
It's strengths that I'm
interested in.
104
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:34,319
Oh! Well, I mean, you know,
for the sake of future proofing,
105
00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:37,199
I think we should maybe
list her weaknesses -
106
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:40,559
stubborn, volatile, zealous.
107
00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:42,359
Yes, yes, if you're a woman.
108
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:44,719
But, huh, if you're a man,
109
00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:49,439
oh, well, you know,
focused, passionate, ambitious.
110
00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:51,199
That's our Katriona.
111
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,519
You know, a lot of men
in your position would feel
112
00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:56,039
quite threatened, Cameron,
but not you.
113
00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:57,479
Not me. No.
114
00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:01,159
You embrace change and modernity.
115
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:05,479
You're a friend to women,
a friend to the New Scotland.
116
00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:09,359
And the police force
has to be a forward facing,
117
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:12,480
progressive feminist force.
118
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:18,759
And that is why I am working
ceaselessly towards that goal.
119
00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:23,519
And that's the kind of attitude
that ensures longevity.
120
00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:24,799
You're an ally.
121
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:27,919
Right, come on, into battle.
122
00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:29,399
Stableford.
123
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:33,039
No mulligans and cocks out if you
don't clear the ladies' tee.
124
00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:34,200
Of course.
125
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,479
My favourite writer is Val McDermid.
126
00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:45,159
Taut, exciting and always
with a twist in the tale
127
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:49,039
from a refreshingly progressive
female perspective.
128
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:52,439
Yes, that's more representative
of who I am.
129
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:55,559
I want the nation to see
the real me. Woke.
130
00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:57,639
Yeah, I can't be seen as a dinosaur.
131
00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:00,039
I'm a...I'm a leading light
in the wokerati.
132
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:02,359
You took the knee before the force's
shinty final.
133
00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:05,999
Yeah, I was just tying my shoelace,
but it seemed to play well. Aye.
134
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:09,439
It's not every day you get retweeted
by both Spike Lee and Dougie Vipond.
135
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,039
Yeah, but still, I need to up my
woke quotient.
136
00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:15,319
I'm thinking of throwing my weight
behind gender-neutral toilets.
137
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:17,079
Force wide. That's part of it.
138
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:18,759
But it's a world view, Chief.
139
00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:21,399
Inclusion, progression, diversity.
140
00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:23,039
Yeah...
141
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:25,599
You're right. Let's do another one.
142
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:29,159
My favourite writer
is Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.
143
00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,919
Taut, exciting and always
with a twist in the tale.
144
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:36,999
From a refreshingly progressive
female, diverse perspective.
145
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,159
Smashed it, Chief!
146
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:41,159
Paul, cancel the Malt Whisky Society
and sign me up for the
147
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:44,320
Check Your Privilege workshop.
Will do, sir.
148
00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:49,199
Ah...
149
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,320
The sharks are circling, Paul.
150
00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:56,199
I've got to play this one
very skilfully.
151
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:59,679
I have to support and promote women
all the way up to my door
152
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:03,719
and then slam it shut,
whilst appearing to leave it open.
153
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:04,959
It's a minefield!
154
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:06,599
CAMERON SIGHS
155
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:07,680
Shit happens.
156
00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,199
Paul, what's the matter?
157
00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:14,000
Oh, it's just... Mr Barker died.
158
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:16,279
Oh, Paul, Paul.
159
00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:18,480
I'm sorry.
160
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:23,999
I tell you, grief is the price
we pay for love.
161
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,719
Who's Mr Barker?
162
00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:27,719
Best dog that ever breathed.
163
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:28,999
Your dog?!
164
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,799
Oh, sorry, I thought you were
talking about some inspirational
165
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:35,319
teacher or a mentor like me,
but it was just your dog!
166
00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:37,439
I mean, sorry, not JUST.
167
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,719
I'm not suggesting that
Mr Barker wasn't important...
168
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,159
..isn't important.
169
00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:44,439
I wanted to give him the send-off
he deserves.
170
00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:47,680
It's the Little Rascals
pet cemetery, but it's so spenny.
171
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,050
Oh...
172
00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:52,840
..yes, that is expensive.
173
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:56,799
Still, look at that coffin.
174
00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:59,759
It's got... Its handles
are little dog ears.
175
00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:01,399
CAMERON CHUCKLES
176
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,720
It's... It's cute.
177
00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:11,199
I guess I'll just have to scatter
his ashes in his favourite park.
178
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,879
It's what he would have wanted!
179
00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:17,159
Now, come on, Paul, life goes on.
180
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:19,359
Not for Mr Barker, but for us.
181
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:22,479
And I think we owe it to Mr Barker
182
00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:26,119
to make the most of what time
WE have left.
183
00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:28,279
So why don't you pop down
to the canteen and fetch me
184
00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:30,390
a square sausage roll with
an egg chaser?
185
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,279
Oh, sorry. Sorry, I shouldn't have
said "fetch".
186
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,119
Maybe that's a little bit
triggering.
187
00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:39,159
Pop down to the canteen
and furnish me with a...
188
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:40,880
..festoon me a roll.
189
00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:44,000
Good lad, Paul!
190
00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:49,479
You wanted to see me, sir?
191
00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:51,399
Ah, yes, Katriona.
192
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,039
Come in. Big news.
193
00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:56,959
I would like you to take the
leading role in this year's
194
00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:59,039
Recruit of the Year ceremony.
195
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,079
Thank you, sir.
Shake the recruit's hand.
196
00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:03,519
Pass her the ceremonial truncheon.
197
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:06,599
The ceremonial truncheon -
feels like yesterday.
198
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,559
Of course, cos you were
Recruit of the Year.
199
00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:10,999
I remember the Chief Commissioner's
speech.
200
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,919
"Raise it high, bang up the bams,
get them into the back of the van."
201
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,319
Proper policing.
202
00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:19,359
You might have to keep your speech
on the right side of history,
203
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:22,199
though, you know, inclusive,
progressive.
204
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:25,359
Maybe mention mental health.
Ten minutes tops.
205
00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:26,999
Sorry, sir, a speech?
206
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,639
Do you want me to host it?
207
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:30,999
You're my understudy.
208
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,839
The boy with the big nose
from The Bill.
209
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,000
A problem? Public speaking.
210
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:40,199
Not really my area of strength, sir.
211
00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:43,319
I was a maid of honour
at my sister's wedding - I threw up.
212
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:46,199
Well, we've all had to nip to
the loo in moments of high stress.
213
00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:50,359
Top table, into the champagne
bucket...during the speech.
214
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:54,639
Ah! I ruined the video and a couple
of the bridesmaids' dresses.
215
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,359
Didn't you have a
debating society at school?
216
00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:59,799
Debating wasn't massive
at my school, sir.
217
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,840
What was? Glue.
218
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:07,799
Well, I have every confidence
in you, Katriona.
219
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:09,759
Get this right and it reflects
well on me.
220
00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:12,799
Reflects well on you,
reflects well on us.
221
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:15,880
I won't let you down, sir.
I will pass that truncheon.
222
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,239
Chief. Ah.
223
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:26,559
I hear you can't do the
Check Your Privilege workshops.
224
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:28,279
SCOBRA. Ah, no, actually,
225
00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:31,239
I have kicked SCOBRA into the
long grass
226
00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:34,039
and I am prioritising that workshop.
227
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:38,039
Good. I'm impressed you managed
to make that happen.
228
00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:41,799
Well, remember to complete the four
online modules before the workshop.
229
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,240
Oh, for fu... Four?!
230
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:49,199
Just the four? I was actually
expecting...hoping for more.
231
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,239
I'm happy to do more than four.
232
00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:54,159
I'm happy to do five if you want.
HE CHUCKLES
233
00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:56,519
Oh, Susan. Sorry. How are you?
234
00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:58,559
Let me get that for you. That's OK.
I've got it fine, sir.
235
00:10:58,560 --> 00:10:59,999
No, no, I'm keenly aware that,
236
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,799
you know, there's some
simple actions that many of us
237
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,439
take for granted can cause others
difficulties.
238
00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,279
So, can I give you a push?
239
00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:09,450
I've got it fine. Thank you, sir.
There you go.
240
00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:15,239
Oh, and Katriona will host
the Recruit of the Year ceremony.
241
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:16,599
It's high time.
242
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,759
Let's inspire those young pups.
Brilliant.
243
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,759
Are you...? I don't know.
Yes. I got a tight hamstring.
244
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:24,519
I can't risk the stairs.
I'm not sure...
245
00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:25,999
Oh, I really don't... Oh.
246
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,880
Sir, could you...?
247
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:29,930
Yes.
248
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:33,079
Ah. Now...
249
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:35,079
Oh, Paul.
250
00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:38,719
It's helpful to work through
your grief.
251
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,999
Distraction can be good.
252
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,919
Yeah. You're right, sir.
I'll keep busy. Yeah.
253
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:45,759
That's the attitude.
254
00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:48,759
And in that spirit,
could you do my, uh,
255
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,439
Check Your Privilege modules for me?
256
00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:52,240
Thank you very much, Paul.
257
00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:11,159
Ellen, I know we don't have a
formal tenancy contract,
258
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:12,439
but just take it as read
259
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,119
that anti-capitalist protests
from my balcony
260
00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:16,919
are against the spirit
of our agreement.
261
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,839
Right. What do you want it to say?
"Stop free speech"?
262
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,279
Just bring it in now!
263
00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,119
It's drying and I need it
for the protest...
264
00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:26,359
No, no, don't tell me.
Don't tell me.
265
00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:29,479
I support your right to protest.
266
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:32,879
But never tell me where
you're protesting.
267
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:36,560
I don't want to become an accessory,
or tip off the boys.
268
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:43,279
You haven't come across a ceremonial
truncheon anywhere, have you?
269
00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:45,120
It's Recruit of the Year.
270
00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:51,880
You've got so much junk!
Yeah, I know.
271
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,879
Oh, look at you and Mum. Ah.
272
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,679
I barely recognise you.
You look so...
273
00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:04,119
Young. ..happy.
274
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:08,079
Yeah, well, that was before Mum
went a wee bit mental.
275
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,399
Mum's not mental.
276
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:11,999
And don't use that word,
it's ableist.
277
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,559
Sorry. Before she went a bit off
278
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:17,439
with that skinny wee radge
from Plockton.
279
00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,679
You happy with "radge"?
It's not ableist.
280
00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:23,039
No. OK. Cos Malky is a skinny
wee radge.
281
00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:26,879
Oh, there she is!
282
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:30,839
Remember? You were so
heteronormative.
283
00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:35,559
When you were seven, you loved
negatively impacting young girls'
284
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:37,719
self-esteem and body image,
285
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:40,159
fostering insecurities
and self-doubt.
286
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:41,880
You used to play that all day.
287
00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:49,519
Hey, do you think if we can't find
the truncheon,
288
00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:52,279
the recruit would be happy
with Bop It?
289
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:53,799
UPBEAT MUSIC
290
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,279
Bop it, nick it,
291
00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:58,840
cuff it, kettle it...
292
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:04,479
I'm glad you're finally here.
293
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:09,439
You're the last employee of 23,000
to complete this course.
294
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:12,639
If you pass.
Oh, I feel good about it.
295
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:14,839
I feel good about myself.
296
00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:16,999
I feel that I'm evolving.
297
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,439
Baby steps, Chief.
298
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:19,760
Oh, here we go.
299
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,439
Hello, everyone.
Most of you will know me.
300
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,319
You'll have seen me rolling around
the place.
301
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:26,799
THEY CHUCKLE
302
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:29,359
But if not, I'm Susan Forsyth,
and I'll be running
303
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:32,319
this Check Your Privilege workshop.
304
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:37,199
Susan, firstly, apologies for using
your loo the other day.
305
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,399
Feel free to use mine any time
you want.
306
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,919
Well, not mine. Yeah, ours.
307
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:43,519
Thank you, Chief.
308
00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:46,559
So this workshop is an effort
to make people aware
309
00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:48,999
of their inherent biases,
with respect,
310
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:53,159
the sort of thing the Chief
just said - yours and mine.
311
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:56,679
Members of a dominant group possess
privilege over those whose identity
312
00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:59,519
marginalises them in comparison.
313
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:02,359
May I respond, um, Susan?
314
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,519
I'd just like to...
315
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:06,079
Well, I'd like to walk you through
my thinking.
316
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:08,319
Um, and that's...
317
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:11,879
There's a perfect example of the
sort of thing
318
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:14,999
that I want to talk about -
language.
319
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,239
You know, how many phrases
in the English language contain
320
00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,159
the word "walk", you know?
321
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:22,039
And what must it be like for Susan
322
00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:24,799
to constantly be hearing
those phrases?
323
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:29,359
You know, "walk of life", "walk away
with", "walk a tightrope".
324
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:31,039
Um, well, there's nothing...nothing
325
00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:32,919
we can do about that one, really,
is there?
326
00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:36,439
You can't exactly
wheel a tightrope, can you?
327
00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:39,039
It'd be some trick if you could,
though, huh?
328
00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:41,360
A top act in the circus.
329
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:44,639
"Walk all over", that's another one.
330
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,479
Although, you see, "walk all over",
331
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,759
that's a negative thing,
that's a bad thing.
332
00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:51,599
So maybe we keep "walk all over",
333
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:55,520
but we try and develop
"wheel all over" as a positive.
334
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:01,639
Wheelie bin! You know,
why should...why should rubbish
335
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:03,919
be associated with wheelie.
336
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,039
It should be walkie bin, huh?
337
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:07,959
Walkie bin. Because, after all,
338
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:12,079
you are...you are walking
whilst you're wheeling it.
339
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:15,999
Well, I mean not you, Susan,
but you get my thrust.
340
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,759
Sorry. Maybe I shouldn't say
"thrust", you know,
341
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:19,479
there might be...there might be
342
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,479
somebody impotent here because
not all disabilities,
343
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:24,680
you know, are visible, um...
344
00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:29,120
You know, just food for thought.
345
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:33,470
Thank you for all attending
today's workshop.
346
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:38,439
We got there. I trust it's been
enlightening for you all.
347
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,599
Absolutely. You kept us on our toes.
348
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:41,880
Thank you, Susan.
349
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:47,359
To finish off, we'll just read out
everyone's own personal burdens,
350
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:49,960
all anonymous, and then
we can say goodbye to them.
351
00:16:51,151 --> 00:16:53,239
Anxiety.
352
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:54,839
CAMERON MOUTHS SILENTLY
353
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:55,960
Anger.
354
00:16:57,560 --> 00:16:58,680
Bad body image.
355
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,480
Low self esteem.
356
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,520
Fear of over perfection.
357
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:06,770
Mistrust.
358
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:09,359
Envy.
359
00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:11,039
Actually, can we cut to the chase?
360
00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:12,720
Um, did I pass?
361
00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:17,079
She can't be that bad, surely?
362
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:19,439
She can't talk, she can't breathe!
363
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:21,719
Parts of her start randomly shaking.
364
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:23,919
If you want to pull her,
I'd be happy to step in her role.
365
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:26,679
I can't replace a woman with a man.
366
00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:29,959
Not with us getting all this heat
for being a boys' club.
367
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:32,559
No, no, we need those female optics.
368
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:34,879
I'll provide optics.
Different optics.
369
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:36,679
Yeah. Tremendous optics.
370
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:40,839
No-one's doubting your optics,
Rohan, but the optics currently
371
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:45,599
required by the tide of history
are provided by Katriona.
372
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,319
I can be a lot of things,
but I just can't be a woman.
373
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:51,079
Oh, there are certain advantageous
disadvantages
374
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,439
that you and I can never have.
375
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:56,599
Now, I need you to back Katriona,
Rohan.
376
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:59,400
Go full feminist?
Full double feminist.
377
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,439
Just relax, all right?
378
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:09,840
We're here to help.
379
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,759
Hello! Sorry. What's that?
What's what?
380
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,839
Your face. I'm smiling.
381
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:19,599
Oh, right. Yes, good idea.
Keep that.
382
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:20,999
I'll do the walk-on.
383
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,200
Yes. That will relax you.
Do the walk-on.
384
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:26,839
Oh, why are you walking like that?
385
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:28,719
It's cos you're looking at me!
386
00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:31,679
Stop judging me. We've all done our
SYFO module.
387
00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:33,119
SYFO module, remind me?
388
00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:35,399
Support Your Fellow Officer.
Yes, that. Of course.
389
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,599
That's what we're doing,
we're SYFO-ing you!
390
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:40,959
I was Recruit of the Year. Yeah.
And one of the best we've ever had.
391
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:44,119
I had to work harder than any bloke
to get that recognition.
392
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:47,879
Blood and sweat, tears and snotters
got me where I am now.
393
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:50,319
And I've still got you telling me
what to do. Well, we'll just...
394
00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:52,759
I have to be ten times better
than you lot.
395
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,639
Just because I didn't play rugby
with Jonty
396
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,359
or Spunky Biscuit with the boys
in the dorm.
397
00:18:58,360 --> 00:19:00,159
So we will work on this later,
398
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:03,880
because I've got actual police work
I need to be getting on with.
399
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:09,879
DOOR CLOSES
I didn't go to school with a Jonty.
400
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:11,520
I had six in my class.
401
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:16,199
Oh, giraffe's arse!
402
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:19,199
SHE SIGHS
High and stinky.
403
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:24,279
Oh. I've asked Katriona to host
the Recruit of the Year ceremony.
404
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,919
Oh, happy for her to steal
your limelight?
405
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:28,319
Share, Una. Share.
406
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:31,439
Yeah, I'm confident she'll give
a memorable performance.
407
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:36,239
Oh, and I get to ride in the limo
and sook on your guava water.
408
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,719
Be my guest. Well, I'm in.
409
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:39,919
Right, Cammie, come on.
410
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:42,799
May as well save time
and get your cock out now.
411
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,279
Happy to do that.
412
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:47,320
Happy to.
As long as you get yours out.
413
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,479
Ah, you're unpacking.
414
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:52,880
Ah, I...
415
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,279
I was policing a festival.
416
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,159
A reveller put them on me.
417
00:19:58,160 --> 00:19:59,639
It was good for morale.
418
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:02,519
It's not the '90s any more, Dad.
419
00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:05,959
Look, big Aileen from forensics
wore a prosthetic penis,
420
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:08,759
so the sexism went both ways.
421
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,239
Don't use the word big.
422
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:13,799
All of this, get it gone.
423
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,639
I'm sorry. I'm a work in progress,
but I am an ally.
424
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:20,759
Anyways, I found your
ceremonial phallic symbol.
425
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,119
Ah, there it is!
426
00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:27,479
Set about them with purpose
and vigour and disgust.
427
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:31,439
Mental health and other relevant
issues of the day with them.
428
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:32,760
What's this photo?
429
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:37,919
Ah, that's the Christmas
fancy dress party.
430
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:40,519
Must be about 1984.
431
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:44,199
Me and the boys, and my former boss,
Alec.
432
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:48,719
Or should I say Margaret Thatcher,
Madonna, Fu Manchu, Michael Jackson?
433
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:51,639
And I am Jimi Hendrix!
434
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:53,479
Who's that supposed to be?
435
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:57,399
The silver haired guy in the
gold tracksuit with a cigar.
436
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,559
I have absolutely no idea
who that is.
437
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:00,999
I've never seen him before in my...
438
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,799
Oh, look, there's, uh,
there's big Aileen.
439
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:07,759
Oh, sorry. Atypical body-sized
Aileen.
440
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:10,599
She's a Kray twin, I think.
441
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:14,159
Sexism, racism,
cultural appropriation,
442
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:18,680
glorification of violence,
transphobia all in one photo.
443
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:25,239
We know that now, but that was just
every other Wednesday in the 1980s.
444
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:26,840
Ellen, it was a party.
445
00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:30,199
Yeah, I thought I'd make it
446
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:32,159
into a climate activist for you.
447
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:33,639
I thought you'd like it.
448
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:35,759
I do actually.
449
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:39,000
She can come with us when we go...
Don't tell me!
450
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:44,199
Ah. Thank you, Paul.
451
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:48,639
Oh, now, Paul. You really did a
tremendous job completing my
452
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,399
Check Your Privilege modules.
453
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:54,479
And, well, as a token of my
appreciation, I would like to
454
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:57,479
make a contribution towards
Mr Barker's funeral.
455
00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:58,719
Really?
456
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:01,359
Oh, I'm made up, sir.
457
00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:02,839
No, no, no, no worries.
458
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,079
You know, because without you,
I would definitely have failed.
459
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:08,039
Lyndsay, hello! Come in.
How are you?
460
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:12,119
Chief, we have the results from your
Check Your Privilege module.
461
00:22:12,120 --> 00:22:15,959
Ah, yes. Well, I do feel that I have
grown, you know,
462
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:19,879
as a...as a person by, uh,
by participating.
463
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:23,559
I particularly enjoyed the part
where you identified the
464
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:28,039
"causal link between affinity
and attribution bias."
465
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:33,439
Yes, yes. Well, I do feel
of all the biases, you know,
466
00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:37,479
that those are the two that do,
well, they tend to be overlooked.
467
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:41,879
And the list of insulting words
you flagged up to avoid -
468
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:45,519
"simp, negaton, sife,
dickweed and doggy knobber.
469
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:47,599
Terrible. Terrible.
470
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:48,919
Steer clear.
471
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:51,519
Almost the vocabulary of...
472
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:53,799
..a younger person.
473
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:56,999
Well, my daughter does tend
to keep me up to speed with,
474
00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:00,199
you know, what's fire and
what's butters.
475
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:01,599
Oh, brilliant.
476
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:04,479
I'm sure you value ALL input.
477
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:07,599
I do. I do.
478
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:08,800
See you, Paul.
479
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,639
This is my dream funeral.
480
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:17,279
Whoa! Now, I said a contribution.
Contribute.
481
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:21,040
Uh, no, I know, sir. Like...like
I contributed to your modules.
482
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:27,439
I mean, it's not a huge coffin
for the money, though, is it?
483
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:28,999
That's for the headstone too.
484
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,839
Then it's extra for the carving.
�10 a letter.
485
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,199
Oh, right. And, uh, what were you
thinking?
486
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:37,759
In life I loved you dearly,
in death I love you still.
487
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:38,999
Well, that's beautiful.
488
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:42,159
In my heart you hold a place
no-one could ever fill.
489
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:46,279
And then his dates and his name,
Mr Barkington Barker.
490
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:50,159
That's a bit formal, isn't it, Paul?
491
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:53,280
What about, "Mr B, RIP"?
492
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:57,119
No. No, no, no, I don't think
he'd like that.
493
00:23:57,120 --> 00:24:00,439
Ooh, would you be happy to say
a few words at the funeral?
494
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:03,519
It would, um, it would mean the
world to me.
495
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:05,479
Well, of course, Paul.
496
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:07,359
I'll give you a brief.
497
00:24:07,360 --> 00:24:09,319
Some bullet points about his life.
498
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:11,599
I can send you a copy
of his family tree.
499
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:14,999
Maybe start with the anecdote
about the time that he, uh,
500
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,599
he went to Inverleith Park
with his cousin...
501
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,280
Thank you, Paul. ..Miss Barker.
502
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:28,439
I just wanted to wish you luck.
503
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,119
And I'd like to apologise
for my outburst, sir.
504
00:24:31,120 --> 00:24:33,359
No need for that.
No, no, I was out of order.
505
00:24:33,360 --> 00:24:36,079
And when I referenced a particular
public school pastime,
506
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,879
I wasn't inferring that you actually
ate a spunky biscuit. No.
507
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:41,399
Apology accepted.
508
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:42,600
Case closed.
509
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:48,079
You know, Katriona, I don't think
I've ever fully appreciated
510
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:50,439
how difficult it's been for you.
511
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:52,359
What a challenge it still is.
512
00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:55,920
And, well, maybe that is my
privilege speaking.
513
00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:00,230
Anyway, how are you getting on
with your speech?
514
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:03,679
It's still pish.
515
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:05,399
I'm still pish.
516
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,639
Well, we all have different
strengths.
517
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:10,719
I'm a born leader.
518
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:14,079
You're police and you can make
a speech.
519
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:18,239
Not in front of top brass, insignia,
the justice minister.
520
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,679
I'm just a wee lassie from
Gartcrumnock.
521
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:23,359
WERE a wee lassie from
Gartcrumnock.
522
00:25:23,360 --> 00:25:25,799
Now you're the
Deputy Chief Commissioner
523
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:30,639
of a progressive, forward-facing
modern feminist police force.
524
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:34,999
Look, just imagine it's a cold,
wet, dark Monday evening
525
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,079
and you're firing up the troops
526
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:39,599
to raid that drug farm in
Possilpark.
527
00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:43,560
Me and the rest of the sisterhood,
we're rooting for you.
528
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:46,120
Now, you go get 'em!
529
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:49,079
Do it for the truncheon.
530
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:50,879
I'm no quitter.
531
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:52,359
Thank you, sir.
532
00:25:52,360 --> 00:25:54,160
SYFO. SYFO.
533
00:25:58,120 --> 00:26:01,039
Thank you, Paul. Excellent polish.
534
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:05,040
Oh, and here is the invoice
for Mr Barker's funeral.
535
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:09,920
Are you absolutely set on the choir?
536
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:13,280
Yeah.
CAMERON SIGHS
537
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,639
I'm looking forward
to your speech, Katriona.
538
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:19,759
So am I, Minister.
539
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:22,720
Your boss here speaks very highly
of you.
540
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:25,639
Yes, I do. I do.
541
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,759
I've never done bigging her up.
THEY CHUCKLE
542
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:30,279
What was it again?
543
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:33,599
Hard-working, loyal, brave.
544
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,999
That's my deputy. Kimberly,
could you step on it, please?
545
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:38,839
We don't want to delay this
546
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:41,799
young recruit's thrill any longer
than we have to.
547
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:46,080
CROWD CHANT INDISTINCTLY
548
00:26:49,120 --> 00:26:52,599
Rohan, we've got caught up
in the climate change protest.
549
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:54,599
Can you step in and do the speech?
550
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:56,199
Right, give me that.
551
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,399
I'll go among them with purpose
and vigour.
552
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:00,319
Clear the roads! Clear!
553
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:01,879
Good luck!
554
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,039
CROWD BOOS
555
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:05,560
CAMERON MOUTHS SILENTLY
556
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:08,599
Uh, isn't that your daughter?
557
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:10,599
Where? There.
558
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:11,679
No, I don't think so.
559
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:13,119
It is.
560
00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:16,879
Oh, right. Yes. That is my daughter.
561
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,280
Why didn't you tell me, Ellen?!
562
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:27,879
Well, not exactly what we had
in mind for our VIP guest,
563
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:31,759
but she did get to see your
forward-facing, progressive...
564
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:35,079
Old-fashioned, get them in the back
of the van police work, sir.
565
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:38,639
Well, you certainly set about them
with purpose and vigour.
566
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:40,399
17 arrests!
567
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:45,639
And a letter of thanks from the
chief executive of the oil company.
568
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:46,879
Nice boy.
569
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:49,719
Actually, I'm seeing him tonight
at the Malt Whisky Society.
570
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:52,999
I'd invite you along, Katriona,
but, well, it's men only.
571
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,599
Thank you, sir.
And sorry about the, uh...
572
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:57,039
Oh, don't you worry about that.
573
00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,839
We'll have that glued back together.
574
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:03,879
Now, Katriona, I know how much
you wanted to make that speech,
575
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:05,439
how much it meant to you.
576
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:08,999
So I would like you to deputise
for me again
577
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,479
at the very first available
opportunity.
578
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:12,679
Thank you, sir.
579
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:15,119
DISTANT BAGPIPES PLAY
580
00:28:15,120 --> 00:28:17,960
Mr Barker was more than a dog.
581
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:22,759
He was a friend, a companion,
582
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:25,719
a rock in a weary land.
583
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:27,440
PAUL WHIMPERS
584
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,639
# Woman like me,
like a woman like me
585
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:36,839
# La-la-la woman like me,
like a woman like me
586
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:38,719
# La-la-la woman like me
587
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:40,319
# Like a woman like me
588
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:43,359
# La-la-la woman like me,
like a woman like me
589
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:47,479
# Like a woman like me,
la-la-la like a woman like me
590
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:50,479
# Like me,
la-la-la like a woman like me
591
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:53,439
# Like a woman like me,
la-la-la woman like me
592
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:55,079
# A woman like me
593
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:56,920
# A woman like me
Young Money, rrr! #
594
00:28:56,970 --> 00:29:01,520
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