All language subtitles for Rivals of Sherlock Holmes s02e07 The Superfluous Finger.eng

[dramatic music]

[fire crackling]

Who's there?

It's your niece, Sir Hector.

Ha!

Mm.

When's dinner, Sterling?
I'm getting peckish.

Would 15 minutes do, sir?

Well, I suppose it'll
have to, won't it?

Very good, sir.

Sterling by name,
sterling by nature.

His wife can't cook for toffee.

So let's have a look at you.

Uh, well.

I suppose as women go,
you're not bad-looking.

Seen 'round the estate,
have you?

Yes.

Oh, I will say, you don't
chatter on like some.

What do you think
of your ancestors?

Bloodthirsty- looking
lot of ruffians.

Mad as March hares,
most of them.

Some say I am. [sniffs]

What do you think?

Ah. Wise girl.

Who's to know who's sane?

Mind you, the family
have known hard times.

Not all beer and skittles,
estates and titles.

Now you see 'em, now you don't.

Take him.
The first baronet's father.

Queen Elizabeth's favorite.
Didn't return the compliment.

Worse, fell for one
of her chambermaids.

That put paid to him.

Yes, we seem to have a habit
of backing the wrong side.

Held out for Charles I.

Drawn and quartered.

Son switched to Cromwell.

Precipitated the Restoration,
if you ask me.

The baronetcy wasn't
restored till Blenheim.

And all the credit
went to Marlborough!

Ah, but we know better.

Never mind the history books.
It's all here.

Malplaquet was won by Drummond!

The nation didn't build
him a palace. Typical.

Soldiers, sailors, statesmen.

Man and boy,
we've served for centuries.

No money in it.

Estates steadily going
to wrack and ruin.

Father, he fought a
duel to save them.

Won it too.

The shock killed him.

And there's a moral in that.
Look after number one. [sniffs]

Have you, have you ever
handled one of these?

Oh, there's nothing to it. See?

- [gun firing]
- [body thudding]

Bit of an accident, Sterling.

Have you killed her?

I don't know. Looks like it.

Ah. Must have been loaded.

Still, it'll teach them
to come sniffing 'round

before I'm underground.

- [bright jazzy music]
- [match whooshing]

[smooth jazzy music]

[Narrator] In late
Victorian times

there lived many detectives,

The Rivals of
Sherlock Holmes.

[bright music]

[smooth mysterious music]

[suspenseful music]

The forefinger.

I should like it amputated
at the second joint, please.

Amputate. Amputated?

I'm told you are a
skillful surgeon.

Perhaps the best in London.

And the cost of the
operation is immaterial.

What's the matter with it?

Nothing. I merely want it
removed from the second joint.

[Tobias] Why?

Oh, that I can't tell you.

And there's no
reason that I should.

You are a surgeon. I want
an operation performed.

You must understand, Miss. Miss?

I could give you a name,
but it wouldn't be my own.

So, what's the point?

I'm a surgeon, not a tradesman.

And the point is that
surgery is a profession

for the relief of suffering,
not for willful mutilation.

Aren't you being rather pompous?

If I wish to submit to,
to willful mutilation,

as you put it,
surely that is my affair.

There is no necessity
to remove that finger.

To do so would be quite
unethical, not to say criminal.

Shall we say 200 guineas?

[Tobias] I wouldn't
do it for 500 guineas.

1,000 then.

I don't think you
quite understood.

I will not perform an
unnecessary operation.

Money does not come into it.

- It is necessary.
- Why?

[Patient] Won't you
take my word for it?

No. Not without some
supporting medical evidence.

[Patient] Such as?

Well, if it were,
if it were diseased or...

But it's not.
You say so yourself.

Very well.

Suppose I were to come to you
with it irreparably damaged.

You would be bound to dress
the wound, then, wouldn't you?

[Tobias] Oh, yes, of course.

And make any
necessary amputation.

That is purely academic.

[Patient] You haven't
answered my question.

There are people waiting
who need my services.

I have neither the time

nor the inclination
to discuss hypotheses.

[Patient] I need to know.

I wish to have nothing
further to do with the matter.

Miss Jones?

[Patient] But you would dress
the wound, wouldn't you?

You will excuse me.

Miss Jones, will you
kindly see this lady out?

And send the next
patient in, please.

- This way.
- Well, we shall see.

- Good day to you.
- Sir Tobias.

- [door thuds]
- [Tobias sighs]

[bell chiming]

[woman screaming]

[people chattering]

[Jones] Thank you.

- Oh!
- I showed her out.

As I closed the door,

she turned and quite
deliberately put her finger-

Yes, all right. All right.

Will you help me to get her

into the consulting
room, please?

Thank you.

Can you manage?

Uh, Miss Jones, would you
call Professor Van Dusen?

Ask him if he'd be kind enough

to come over here
as soon as he can.

[Miss Jones] Yes, sir.

[clock ticking]

[door clicking]

Good.

[sighs] Would you have operated

if she hadn't injured
herself on the premises?

No.

Uh, she's, um, sane, presumably?

Well, she would appear to be so.

Mm.

What do you make of it?

- Hers?
- Yes.

Did you happen to
see her remove it?

Yes, I did.

[Van Dusen] Well, she
was certainly determined

to have that finger off.

[Tobias] The question is, why?

Uh, one can only conjecture,

if it's a matter of
any importance to you.

I have been trapped

into performing an
unnecessary operation.

Now, ethically,
that's bad enough.

But suppose her
motives are criminal.

They will emerge in time.

Yes, during which time-

You will have to curb
your imagination.

While you give yours rein
and do precisely nothing.

You sent for me.

I'd forgotten how
infuriating you can be.

You malign me.

Rather than waste my
time in idle speculation,

I apply myself to the facts.

Now, firstly, the lady has
recently returned from America.

- From America?
- Yes.

Her gloves, hat,
handbag, and boots

were all recently
purchased there.

All right. All right,
I'll give you that.

And what's your second fact?

It's of no consequence,
uh, for the moment.

If I didn't know you-

[Van Dusen] Ah, but you do.
May I use your telephone?

Please do.

You are too kind.

Be so good as to put me through

to the offices of the
"Daily Recorder," would you?

Yes. Mr. Roderick Varley.

[groans] Your reporter friend.

My occasional acquaintance
and longtime associate.

I have very few friends.

That I can well understand.

It's a curious irony that
those who call upon my services

so frequently resent them,

hardly less than those upon
whom they are exercised.

Professor Van Dusen.

[Tobias] If you would
take people a little more

into your confidence-

I should only delay myself and
not greatly enlighten them.

Ah. Varley.

Now, I'm with Sir
Tobias Prescott.

Yes. The surgeon.

At his Harley Square
consulting room.

Yes, now, he has
a little problem.

It might be to our
mutual advantage

to cooperate in solving it.

Can you come 'round?

What?

Well, yours and mine, of course.

Good.

Number 5.

Then I'll see you shortly.

And what form will
this cooperation take?

Oh, the usual. His
legs and my brain.

May one inquire to what end?

By all means.

But, uh, first I
should like to learn

a little more
about your patient.

Why don't you ask her?

What did she tell you?

- Nothing.
- Precisely.

So if she refused to say
anything before the operation,

she's hardly like to
do so now it's done.

Upon my soul, Van Dusen,

you can be the most
exasperating of men.

Now, do you want me to
withdraw from the case?

No.

Then you will kindly allow
me to handle it as I see fit.

Oh, very well.

All the same, I do think
you might take me a little

into your confidence.

Now don't let me distract
you from your duties.

- What?
- Your patient.

I think she's
coming 'round again.

[Tobias sighs]

Who's this?

Professor Van Dusen. I
was about to say a friend.

An acquaintance. A
sometime colleague of mine.

- Oh.
- How are you feeling?

Better, thank you.

I'm sorry to have
been such a nuisance,

fainting and everything.

It was the shock, I think.

Yes. What on earth
possessed you?

I'm sorry?

Oh, come, come, Miss,
Missus, whoever you are.

I refuse to operate.

You promptly mangle yourself

so that I have no alternative
but to repair the damage,

thereby doing exactly
what you wanted.

Now, the very least you
owe me is an explanation.

How can you say such things?

[Tobias] And what
is your account?

Well, I consulted you

about the numbness I had
experienced in this finger.

You were kind enough
to reassure me.

As I left, I was clumsy,
and I shut it in your door.

The next thing I knew, I-

[throat clearing]

I do see it must be most
inconvenient for you.

But to accuse me of
having done it on purpose,

it's, it's too cruel.

I see. So you're
calling me a liar.

[sighs] One of us
must be at fault

for such a horrid
misunderstanding to have arisen.

That's a fact.

Why would anyone in
their right mind,

least of all, a
woman, deliberately

I ask you.

Forgive me. One moment.

Uh, uh.

Now, let me remind
you, young lady-

No. Let me remind you.

I have common sense on my side,

and it is your
word against mine.

Now, how much do I owe you?

[Tobias] Nothing.

As you wish.

Then perhaps you will be
kind enough to call me a cab.

[Tobias] You are in no
fit state to travel.

I'm certainly in no
fit state to stay here

and be abused by you.

Oh.

Very well.

Here. Drink this.

Drink it.

I wish I knew what
you were up to.

Now, stay there.
I'll get you a cab.

[cab rumbling]

Is that her?

[people chattering]

Right. Off you go, Varley.

[horse hooves clopping]

Well.

Well, a little cup of
coffee wouldn't come amiss.

[carriage rumbling]

At first I thought she was
traveling towards Bayswater.

But after a while
her cab stopped

and then started off
in another direction-

I think possibly
because she suspected

that she might be followed.

Finally, she seemed to be
making towards Chelsea.

It had grown darker
and begun to rain

when we went along
the King's Road,

turned off towards the river.

She obviously hadn't realized

that I had followed so closely.

And when she stopped at
a block of mansion flats,

we were able to drive past
and halt on the corner

without attracting
any attention.

From the way in which the lady
was greeted by the porter,

I thought she could only
be a frequent visitor

or, more likely, a resident.

[horse hooves clopping]

And when the porter
paid off her cab

and followed her into the flats,

I thought I might
investigate further.

I paid my driver, I have
the amount noted down,

and approached the flats.

[cab rumbling]

Fortunately, the, uh,
porter was a friendly soul

and offered me the
shelter of his umbrella.

We exchanged pleasantries.

I told him I was a journalist

and, uh [throat clearing]
gave him a large tip.

He was very forthcoming.

A few shrewd questions

elicited that the suspect
was a Mrs. John Smith.

[Tobias] Ah. Now there's
a rare and unusual name.

She arrived here last
Tuesday, today being Friday,

with her husband.

- Her husband?
- Oh, yes. She was married.

They rented a furnished
apartment for three months.

- At what rent?
- 100 pounds a month.

That's not cheap.

No more was the fee
she was offering you.

The John Smiths are evidently
playing for high stakes.

[Varley] I was about to leave

when the suspect came
down again in the lift.

Now, she'd changed
her hat and clothing.

[Van Dusen] Extraordinary.

How long after she'd
entered the block?

[Varley] Uh, 15 minutes.
Certainly no more.

[Van Dusen] Amazing fortitude
under the circumstances.

But do go on.

She went out.

I debated whether to follow
but decided against it

because I knew now where to
find her if I wanted her.

I further questioned the porter

and discovered, to my surprise,

that Mr. and Mrs. Smith
had arrived from America.

However, none of the steamers

that arrived from
America last Tuesday

had a Mr. and Mrs. John
Smith as passengers.

[Van Dusen] You amaze me.

After sundry disbursements,
of which I have note-

- No doubt.
- And, I might add,

a great deal of
tenacity and hard work,

I managed to discover

that one of the steamers
that arrived last Tuesday

had a certain Mr. and Mrs.
Chevedon Morey aboard.

And Mrs. Morey bore a
striking resemblance

to the lady posing
as Mrs. John Smith.

Right down to the dress

she was wearing
when she left here.

And where, exactly,
does that get us?

To the fact that we are
dealing with a woman

of extraordinary determination.

Mrs. Morey?

Oh, I think we can safely assume

that their name's not Smith.

You say she changed her dress

and came out again shortly
after returning home?

[Varley] Yes.

When she left here, she was
so ill and weak from shock

she could hardly stand.

[Van Dusen] Quite so.

So I think we can
also safely assume

that the matter is one of a
certain importance to her.

In what way important?

It seems that we're
likely to find out

sooner than I anticipated.

In the nature of the case,

I wouldn't have expected
any particular developments,

oh, not for some months.

And the final development

should have arisen
in America, not here.

Strange.

[Tobias] Does he
always talk in riddles?

More or less.

Only to the obtuse.

Now, what is the problem
from which we start?

Why was it necessary for her

to go to such lengths
to lose that finger?

Good.

And if we admit her sanity, the
answer cannot be far to see,

provided we use our brains.

- Well, you've lost me.
- And me.

Oh, well, never mind.

Was Mrs. Morey's hand bound up

in precisely the same way when
you saw her come out again?

She hardly had time to
change the dressing.

Ah, ah, ah, ah. Just the facts.

Yes.

No, come to think of it.

She was wearing a muff.

Oh.

I begin to think that this
is a case for Scotland Yard.

[Tobias] Then why
don't we call them?

What, and lose an
exclusive story?

Now, don't let's be selfish.

[laughs] Coming from you,
that's a trifle excessive.

What it is to inspire affection.

Still, it might be best to
learn a little more first.

Hmm. Nine o'clock.

Now, Varley, why don't you call

upon the Moreys in the morning

and see what you can
find out about them?

On what pretext?

Oh, I leave it to you.

You can be quite ingenious
when you set your mind to it.

Good night to you.

Thank you very much.

And good night.

[doorbell ringing]

[knuckles rapping]

Is anybody home?

[door clicking]

[door thuds]

Hello?

What did I tell you?

They can't keep away from
the scene of the crime.

[Varley] What?

You are not obliged
to say anything,

but anything you do
say will be taken down

and may be used in evidence.

[Varley] Ah, you see-

I'd shut up if I were you
and come along quietly.

Get hold of him,
though, just in case.

[Varley] The door
was open, and I-

Now, come on. There's
a sensible chap.

Now, let's go and have
a nice little chat

about the willful murder of
Mrs. John Smith, shall we?

Get him down to the station now.

You're making a terrible
mistake, you know?

[dramatic music]

[dramatic music]

[smooth jazzy music]

Professor Van Dusen.

- Doctor-
- Mason.

Oh, Dr. Mason.

I wondered what the
police were doing outside.

Uh, I was looking
for my associate.

Oh, dear, that wouldn't be-

Not unless you employ a lady.

That surprises me.

So soon.

- What?
- Oh, nothing. Poor woman.

And of course Varley
was coming here earlier.

- Varley, sir?
- Mm.

About 30. Tall, with
a dark mustache.

Calls himself a journalist.

Most graphic,
officer. Well done.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Uh, Sergeant Mallory
picked him up

a couple of hours ago, sir.

He picked him up?

Suspicion of murder, sir.

He was found in
here with the body.

Varley must have hidden
depths I never suspected.

You're taking it
devilishly calmly.

Oh, well, you know,
I've always felt

that death was fairly final.

I mean, if I were
to have hysterics,

it wouldn't help
Varley, would it,

much less revive
the wretched woman?

I think a certain respect

under the present circumstances
would be in order.

Yes.

But, of course, you're more
involved than I am, aren't you?

What would you estimate the
time of death to have been?

I'm not sure I should tell you.

Oh, come, come. It can't
be kept a secret forever.

Where's the harm in divulging
it to a fellow professional?

Oh, very well.

I'd put the time of death

at somewhere between 6:00
and 7:00 last evening.

But before 9:00, at all events?

Without question.

And the, um, cause of death?

Well, I will, if I must,
go down on bended knee.

Strangulation.

[Officer] What can
I do for you, sir?

Accept my deepest
sympathies, sir.

What?

Only the keepers of
the nation's conscience

could possibly work in such
insalubrious surroundings.

Now, can you tell me

where I can find Detective
Sergeant Mallory?

He's interviewing a suspect.

I asked you where he was.

I'm well aware of
what he's doing. Ah.

Hey, just a minute!
You can't just walk in!

Perfectly all right, Sergeant.

Good morning,
Varley. How are you?

He just marched past!

Now, back to your desk.
There's a good fellow.

Wait a minute.

Now, you'll be Detective
Sergeant Mallory, I take it.

Never mind who I am.

Who the hell do
you think you are?

Professor Van Dusen.
Augustus Van Dusen.

And what the devil do you mean

by barging in here like this?

Uh, we, uh, we work together.

Oh! So you're in this
together, are you?

Uh, yes and no.

Don't you fence with me.

That, my dear sergeant,

would argue a
degree of expertise

not compatible with the
present circumstances.

Sit down, Varley.

You don't appear to
understand the gravity

of the situation.

Oh, indeed?

I repaired to certain premises

on receiving reports
of foul play.

And there you found that
the victim had passed on.

This is no joking matter.

Murder seldom is, Sergeant.

But your present absurd
position could be.

Absurd, is it?

How did your accomplice
come to be there?

The door was open.

Give him rope,
Varley. Give him rope.

He's near enough
to hanging himself.

And how do you
account for the fact

that his fingerprints
were all over the place?

Fingerprints?

I say. They do move
with the times.

I found him bending over
a brutally murdered woman.

Sergeant, you must
indeed be hard-pressed

to grasp at straws quite
so improbably thin.

I'll deal with you later.

You'll deal with me now.

What?

Unless, of course,

you want to face a
charge of false arrest.

What's that?

Were you detained, Varley?

In a manner of speaking, yes.

You didn't ask to stay.

- Not exactly, no.
- No.

Well, even the police
haven't the right

to deprive a man of his liberty

unless they can
reasonably suspect him

of having committed a crime or
of being about to commit one.

I have already told you the
reasons of my suspicion.

And I have just returned
from the scene of the crime.

The police doctor
sets the time of death

at between 6:00 and
7:00 o'clock last evening.

Well?

Mr. Varley was
with me until 9:00.

Oh, you'll need to
do better than that.

And, uh, a third party,

to whom even you
will find difficulty

in attributing means and
motive, much less opportunity.

Name?

Sir Tobias Prescott. The,
um, celebrated surgeon.

Oh. Address?

His consulting rooms
are at 5 Harley Square.

We'll check that.

Do it now. He's
on the telephone.

Keep an eye on him, Sergeant.

Poor fellow.

We're about to witness
the unedifying spectacle

of authority compelled
to eat its own words.

- Well, I hope you're right.
- Oh, of course I am.

Uh, take a seat, my good man.

He says his name is
Van Dusen. Van Dusen.

Oh?

Oh.

Oh.

And you are quite sure
that he and Mr. Varley

were with you until
after nine o'clock?

Thank you very much, sir.

Yeah, all right,
Sergeant. Thank you.

Well, it seems I, uh,
owe you an apology, sir.

If you insist.

Aye, well, uh, if you would care

to collect your belongings, sir.

I'd be delighted.

I do have one or two little jobs

I have to be getting on with.

And now, Sergeant,

perhaps you and I could
have a quiet word.

I'm not quite clear, sir,
how you are concerned.

I was called in by Prescott.

Well, to cut a long story short,

a lady visited him yesterday
who declined to give her name,

and she wanted him to amputate
a perfectly healthy finger.

- What?
- Yes.

Well, when he refused,

she trapped him into doing so
by shutting it in the door,

damaging it to such an extent

that he was obliged
to amputate it.

A finger off? What on earth for?

That was what Prescott
wanted to know.

Now, I sent Varley here
to find out who she was,

and he established that she
was a Mrs. Chevedon Morey.

- Mrs. Chevedon Morey?
- Yes.

I think you will know her
better as Mrs. John Smith.

You mean the murdered woman?

Apparently.

My first thought was

that the amputation
might be the opening shot

in a fraudulent insurance claim.

But oh, no, no, no.

They were playing for
higher stakes than that.

They take an expensive flat.

Money was no object

when she was trying to persuade
Prescott to mutilate her.

In fact, so much
so that, frankly,

I didn't expect any
developments for some time.

But the fact that she
promptly got herself murdered

made nonsense of my assumptions.

You arrested the wrong man,
but I, too, was at fault.

Well, that's a handsome
admission, sir.

No, no, no, no.

I don't like it any better
than you do, Sergeant.

But perhaps if we
pool our resources,

we can salvage our reputations
and solve the crime.

Right. What did
you have in mind?

[laughs] You know, you must
have been on pretty thin ice

to haul Varley in on purely
circumstantial evidence.

Well, uh, between ourselves,

there were a few,
uh, loose ends.

[Van Dusen] I'm sure.

The night porter swore

that he saw them leave
the block late last night.

In fact, he called a cab
for them at 11:00 p.m.

After the woman was dead.

More than that, they told him

that they'd been called
away on business.

The manager found the
body this morning.

By which time a dead woman
had returned to a locked flat.

Without anybody seeing
her or her husband.

Unlikely, I think.

The porter and the manager,
did you believe them?

No reason not to.

They were as shocked as
you'd expect them to be

under the circumstances.

But somebody must be lying.

Either that or a
number of people

have been very
skillfully misled.

- I don't follow you.
- No?

Well, two and two
make four, Sergeant.

Not sometimes, but always.

But the facts don't tally.

Then the facts, my dear
Sergeant, must be wrong.

There's, uh, there's this.

- Hmm?
- Here.

Oh.

"The wedding of Mr. and
Mrs. Chevedon Morey.

The bride wore." Hmm, charming.

"She was given away by her
uncle, Sir Hector Drummond Bt.

Among the guests were"-

Wait a minute.

I seem to remember
something about him.

Hmm?

Yes.

Let's see, now.
Drummond, Drummond.

Oh, here we are.

Ah, 14th baronet.

Well, unmarried.
"Clubs, The Eccentrics.

Address, Drummond Hall, near
Fordingbridge, Hampshire.

No telephone."

That's right. It's all
coming back to me now.

Yes, he's reckoned to
be not quite all there.

He ran for Parliament on some
crackpot platform, I remember.

What was it, now?

Oh, yes, Home Rule for
the Men of the New Forest.

Oh, how splendid.

Uh, oh, it should be in here.

Have a look.

Ah, here it is.

That's right, yes.

He had to withdraw
his candidature

for breaking up his
opponents' election meeting.

Ha, he drove a pack of foxhounds

through the assembly
hall at Salisbury.

Oh, yes, and that
just about died down

when he had to
retire from the bench

for dispensing summary justice.

Apparently he produced
a shotgun in court

and peppered some
wretched poacher

that had been
brought before him.

A trifle eccentric.

He was a rotten shot,
luckily for all concerned.

Hmm.

Well, perhaps I'd better
take a change of armor.

You're not going
down there. What for?

I go where the scent
leads me, Varley.

Yes, but he doesn't
sound the sort of chap

that would exactly
welcome strangers.

Well, someone's got to
tell him his niece is dead.

- [owl hooting]
- [bell tolling]

[door thudding]

[locks clicking]

[Sterling] Yes?

[Van Dusen] My card.

I am acquainted with
Sir Hector's niece.

Oh, dear.

[Van Dusen] I would be grateful

if Sir Hector could spare me
a few moments of his time.

One moment, sir.

[locks clicking]

[owl hooting]

[door whooshing]

[Van Dusen] [groans] Oh, dear.

[match whooshing]

I'm sorry about this, sir.

Have you dined?

[Van Dusen] Yes, thank you.

I thought a little
reading matter

might help you to while
away the time, sir.

All this won't get you
very far, you know?

[Sterling] Oh?

A gentleman of the press is
aware that I called here.

When I don't return, he'll,
he'll institute inquiries.

Unfortunately, the matter
is out of my hands, sir.

But I'll see what I can do.

[Van Dusen] Yes. I'd be obliged.

Morning tea at eight
o'clock, sir. Will that do?

Admirably.

With milk and sugar, sir?

[Van Dusen] Please.

I regret the newspapers
do not appear

before midmorning, sir.

I suppose you realize that
you're working for a madman?

All too well, sir.
But it comes and goes.

The wife and I have been with
the family for many years.

It would be a great wrench
to seek a new position,

and they are hard to find.

Besides, Sir Hector
can be very charming.

Yes, I'll take
your word for that.

Thank you, sir.

May I bid you good night.

[tongue clicking]

[Van Dusen sighs]

[Van Dusen groans]

[dramatic music]

[birds chirping]

[bell tolling]

Ah! Listen to this, Sterling.

"And the 10th baronet replied,

'If you think I'm gaga, you
should see the monarch.'"

[laughs] George III, you see!

[groans] No
respecter of persons.

The Drummonds never have been.

There's another gentleman
to see you, sir.

Varley? Varley?

Who's he?

A gentleman of the press, sir.

Gentleman? That's no
occupation for gentlemen.

Journalists. Muckrakers,
the lot of them.

He's asking for
Professor Van Dusen, sir.

Never heard of him.
Get rid of the fellow.

Would that be wise, sir?

When snoopers come,

they come not single
spies, but in battalions,

to misquote the Bard, you mean?

Oh, very well.

Stick him in the dungeon.

I hardly think we want

the Commissioners in
Lunacy calling again, sir.

[chuckles] I should think not.

As daft a lot as ever I saw.

Perhaps we might stick them
in the dungeon, too, what?

Might become a trifle
overcrowded, sir.

Oh, very well.

Set a couple more
places. Send him in.

And fetch that
other fellow up too.

Might as well get quit
of the pair of them.

- Very good, sir.
- Ah.

I don't know about an
Englishman's castle

Can't even read in peace
without hordes of strangers

trooping in and out
during mealtime.

Good morning, sir. I
trust you slept well.

[Van Dusen] Tolerably.

If you would care to
step this way, sir.

[ladder rattling]

I'm happy to report,

Sir Hector is more his usual
self this morning, sir.

I'm relieved to hear it.

He's expecting you to breakfast
with him in the library.

You and your
reporter friend, sir.

[Van Dusen] Sir Hector
is too hospitable.

Ah. You all right?

Why shouldn't he be?

I'll have you know
that a lot of care

when into building that place.

Ah. We haven't met
before, have we?

No.

- Drummond.
- Van Dusen.

I understand you
two know each other.

Well, that's all right, then.

Will that be all, sir?

[Hector] Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Now, in the first
place, Sir Hector-

Breakfast? I've had mine.

Eggs underdone. Bacon overdone.

Toast burnt. Tea like
nothing on earth.

Still, the woman does her best.

We shall make the most of it.

Here about my niece, aren't you?

Well, it was bound to
come up, I suppose.

Well, in a nutshell,
this is what happened.

She asked herself to stay.

Now, when was it? Let me see.

Must be two or
three years ago now.

Didn't welcome the idea.

I couldn't very well refuse,

seeing as how she's
going to inherit.

- Sir Hector-
- You eat.

I'll do the talking.

Lose my train of thought.

It's apt to wander
at the best of times.

Now, where was I? Ah!

Anyway, she came down here
to have a look around.

Damn cheek.

She might at least have
waited till I was dead

or, at any rate, dying.

Well, there you are. [sniffs]

Well, I showed her
the family portraits.

Told her a little bit
about the family history.

You know, she didn't utter.

Best thing about her, I thought.

Most women screech like peahens.

As a matter of fact,
I quite warmed to her.

So I showed her some
of the family weapons,

the idea being that she should
learn to look after herself.

Nobody else does, do they?

I asked her if
she'd ever handled

one of these, and damn-

- [gun firing]
- [vase shattering]

Huh. Must have loaded
the damn thing again.

Well, no harm done.

Makes a change.

Oh, last time, stupid girl
got her finger in the way.

Blew the top of it clean off.
Blood all over the place.

You thought I'd killed
her, didn't you, Sterling?

- Yes, sir.
- Not a bit of it.

Ruined the carpet, though.

And you say that this
was three years ago?

Oh, thereabouts.

I persuaded the family doctor
to hush the matter up, sir.

It was a nasty accident.
Most distressing.

But Sir Hector's niece
was not seriously harmed.

Are you sure this
was three years ago?

Are you calling me
a liar? [groans]

Journalist gentleman, indeed.

I at least must be
sure about this.

It was three years ago, sir.

Thank you. Varley?

We will no longer trespass
on your hospitality.

- Good day.
- Good morning.

Extraordinary couple of
fellows. What was it all about?

I really couldn't say, sir.

Oh, well, good riddance
to the pair of them.

Had I better take
charge of that, sir?

Hmm?

We might not be so fortunate

should you happen to forget you
loaded it a third time, sir.

[chuckles] Just as
you like. [sniffs]

The likeness is uncanny.

Sergeant, you not only got
hold of the wrong suspect.

You also got hold
of the wrong victim.

But her left forefinger's
been amputated.

[Tobias] Yes. And by
a skillful surgeon.

Well, then.

But the wound is
perfectly healed.

That operation was
performed some years ago.

And she's not my patient.

And she's not Mrs. Morey.

The resemblance between the
murdered woman and Mrs. Morey

was sufficiently remarkable
to deceive a lot of people.

- Including me.
- Yes.

Which is what, of course,
the Moreys counted on.

- Why?
- Oh, dear.

Collaboration is uphill work.

We were discussing why
a perfectly sane woman

should deliberately want
to mutilate herself.

An insurance claim?

- An impersonation!
- Good.

With the object of defrauding
someone similarly mutilated.

[laughs] You see?

Our time together has
not been entirely wasted.

Now, supposing Mrs.
Morey and her husband

did conspire in such a fraud.

But sacrificing a finger

to match her identity
with the rightful claimant

would be a steep price to pay.

Not if the stakes
were high enough.

My trouble was that I could
hardly prevent a crime

which was still merely
in contemplation.

[Varley] Well, no, you
couldn't, could you?

Or if you could have done,

I wouldn't have a case
of murder on my hands.

One step at a time,
Sergeant. One step at a time.

Remember, we all thought the
murdered woman was Mrs. Morey.

Now, I got Varley here to
investigate her background,

and it transpired
that she was the niece

of Sir Hector Drummond, Baronet.

[Varley] A wealthy bachelor.
Old and without issue.

And mad as a hatter, moreover.

[laughs] He was
capable of anything.

Do you know he damn
near killed us?

Yes, we won't weary you with
an account of our adventures.

The fact is he once
shot his niece.

Three years ago, to be exact.

He didn't kill her.

More by luck than good
judgment, I imagine.

But the shot removed the
lady's left forefinger.

More to the point,

the victim of this bizarre
incident was not Mrs. Morey,

but the real heiress.

Another niece.

Her first cousin, in fact,

which, of course, accounts for
the extraordinary resemblance

and the comings and
goings that so baffled us.

This cousin, what was her name?

Miss Evelyn Rossmore,

who, I discover, has been
missing from her rooms

for the last two days.

But how did she come
to be murdered here?

She was invited
here by the Moreys,

who made their
proposition to her,

demonstrating that Mrs. Morey
could be mistaken for her.

But why on earth
did Miss Rossmore

come back here again?

To refuse their demands.

A refusal which precipitated
their original plan.

What original plan?

The eventual murder
of Miss Rossmore.

I believe they never intended
the murder to take place here,

nor anything like so soon.

I still don't follow.

I'm doing my best to explain.

Mr. Morey must have thought

he was doing pretty
well for himself

marrying into the
Drummond family.

Agreed?

[Varley] But Mrs. Morey
wasn't going to get

any of the money.

[Van Dusen] Imagine
what a disappointment

that must have been to him.

[Varley] Especially
when he found out

that his wife's cousin was
going to inherit the lot.

[Van Dusen] Exactly.

Well, this is a surprise.

Yes, isn't it?

It must be, what,
nearly 20 years

since we saw each other last.

- Surely not.
- Perhaps not quite 20.

Not far off, then.

You had your hair in
pigtails, I remember.

Yes. We were children.

And a fearful little
tomboy you were too.

- Oh, never.
- Yes, I was.

And yet here you are,
married and everything.

[Mr. Morey] And here you are.

Yes.

You know, when you
opened the door just now,

I really thought I was looking
at my reflection in the mirror.

I'm glad you think so.

- Glad?
- Yes.

What an odd thing
to say. Why glad?

[Mr. Morey] It makes
our task so much easier.

Well, I don't understand.

We have a proposition
to put to you.

Proposition?

Uncle Hector.

That old madman?

[Mr. Morey] Mad or not,

I understand he's
left you all he has.

Well.

Is it fair?

That's not for me to say.

[Mr. Morey] There, I'm
afraid, we must disagree.

Then don't talk to me about
it. Talk to Uncle Hector.

And risk getting
our heads blown off?

No, thank you.

Do you mean you want
to dispossess me?

[Mr. Morey] Oh, if, I say
"if," we wanted to do that,

believe me,
there are easier ways.

- Oh?
- Oh, indeed.

Just be thankful
that I'm not greedy.

On my lady wife's account,
that is.

- What do you want?
- A fair share.

[Evelyn] And if I refuse?

You yourself have remarked

on the extraordinary resemblance

between you and your cousin.

[Evelyn] You would use
it to contest the will?

- Yes.
- Reluctantly.

Oh, you'd never succeed.

Perhaps not.

But think of the expense,
the tedium, the law's delays,

and the ever-present chance
that justice might not be done.

Why put it to the test?

You might lose everything.

Why risk it when you
could settle out of court?

[Evelyn] For what?

1/3 of the estate, shall we say?

[Van Dusen] Miss Rossmore
refused to be intimidated.

[Mallory] All this
is still guesswork.

[Van Dusen] But well
substantiated by the facts.

Mrs. Morey, a young
and beautiful woman,

had volunteered a disfiguring
and acutely painful operation.

Now, was it just to
convince Miss Rossmore

that they could endanger
her inheritance?

Oh, no. It had to
be more than that.

And they staked
their all upon it.

I have only returned

to say that I have thought
more about your proposition,

and I reject it utterly.

[Mr. Morey] You thought we
were bluffing, didn't you?

Well.

What do you say to that, then?

Say?

I'll tell you what I'll say.

I'm going straight from here
to tell it to the police.

Why should you have everything,

when our mothers were sisters?

It's not as if we were
asking for all that much.

There's enough for everyone.

Just give us what
is rightfully ours!

I'll give you nothing, except
a good, long term in jail.

You come here. You threaten me.

You, why, by the time
I finish with you-

[gasps] No!
Let me go! [screaming]

- [Mr. Morey groaning]
- [Evelyn gasping]

Stop it!

You fool.

Why did you do it here?

[Mr. Morey gasping]

[Van Dusen] And I'll
stake my reputation.

That's what happened.

[Varley] Well, it seems
pretty plausible.

And they panicked.

And I suppose by now they're
on their way back to America.

We shall see.

And perhaps a little
sooner than you think.

[door clicking]

Ah.

[Mr. Morey] What the...

[Mr. and Mrs. Morey grunting]

You fool!

[Van Dusen] Gently, gently.
You're both in this together.

There's no possible point

in trying to shift the blame
on one another.

Mr. and Mrs. Chevedon Morey,

you are not obliged
to say anything,

but anything you do
say will be taken down

and may be used in evidence.

A daunting rigmarole.

But all the same,

I strongly advise you to
cooperate with the sergeant.

After all, it might
help your wife.

You see, Mr. Morey,
you were not a logical man.

You panicked twice.

Once when you ran away, once
when you came back again.

You knew the woman was dead.

How could she possibly send
you a telegram, I ask you?

All right. Take them away.

One thing still beats me.

[chortles] Only one?

[laughs] What on earth possessed
them to come back here?

Oh, that.

Well, as soon as I saw
how the land lay,

I got Varley here to telegraph

the steamships
leaving for America.

There were only two.

Signed in the name
of Miss Rossmore.

You see, gentlemen, two
and two can only make four.

And now I'm sure
you could both do

with a little
liquid refreshment.

Let us share a hansom
to my club, shall we?

[Varley] Splendid idea.

[bright jazzy music]

[suspenseful music]

[bright music]

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