All language subtitles for Recipes for Love and Murder s01e02 Sex Cake.eng

[female narrator]Previously on
"Recipes for Love and Murder..."

You are fired.

I've been instructed by the head
of the newspaper association

that I'm part of
to run an advice column.

And so, I'm afraid
it's Tannie Maria's Recipes out,

and Tannie Sara's
Advice Column in.

I could write it.

It's quite a stack!

Let's see who needs our help.

[Martine]If my husband...

he'll kill me.

I promised to
love and obey this man.

My husband.
But the love has dried up.

[utensil clatters]

[Martine]I have
a lot of happy hours

with my friend, when he is out.

[gunshots]

You bastard!

...fucking kill you,
you bastard!

[Maria]If you are with a man
who abuses you,

you should leave him.

What's that then?

Just a mutton curry recipe
I wanna try.

Mm.

Goodnight!

The column's yours.

It seems as though you might
have a few fans online.

And... they're all addressed
to Tannie Maria.

What's my surname doing there?

I thought it looked more
professional, Maria Purvis.

No, no, no. I-I'm just,
I'm Tannie Maria. That's all.

Take it down!
Take it, take it down!

I think my friend's husband
is going to kill her.

If I kill him
in self-defence of her,

how long will I go to jail?

Her name is Martine Burger.
Her husband's Dirk.

I found this at the crime scene.

That's my lady with the ducks.

Anna Pretorius.

You need to come with us
and answer questions

regarding the murder
of Martine Burger.

- Anna.
- Oh, oh, oh.

Oh. Oh!

? Be my husband man
I be your wife ?

? Loving and hon our you
the rest of your life yeah ?

? If you promise me
you'll be my man yeah ?

? If you promise me
you'll be my man yeah ?

? Please don't treat me
so doggone mean ?

? Please don't treat me
so doggone mean... ?

? Please don't treat me
so now doggone mean yeah ?

? You're the meanest man
I ever see ?

? Oh daddy now love me good ?

? Oh daddy love me good yeah ??

My only statement is
that I loved her.

Love is not a crime.

Go. Go, go, go.
Watch you head.

[engine revving]

[theme music]

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

[speaking in foreign language]

Did you talk to them?

I couldn't.

Lawrence.

[speaking in foreign language]

You have to go to the station.

- What would I tell them?
- You'll tell them what you know.

Show them you've got
nothing to hide.

[speaking in foreign language]

Don't make trouble.

[indistinct chatter]

If there's a killer
on the loose,

surely we should
all be informed.

What if he comes through
my bedroom window

in the middle of the night?

You should be so lucky.

Officer, what Tannie Elna
is trying to say is,

one of the Koop's most beloved
family member has been slain.

We deserve answers.

Listen, I just want
you all to know

that the police is
dealing with this

with the utmost urgency, okay?

You bloody bitch!

I was the only one
who really truly loved her.

She was mine, okay?

I gave my wife everything
she needed!

You gave her plenty
she didn't want.

- Oh, okay.
- Whoa, whoa!

[gunshot]

You're being charged with
reckless endangerment.

- What?
- Come on.

Is everybody okay?

Cops in this town are a joke.

Everyone, it's not a boxing
arena, let's go.

All right, listen,
please offer everyone here

a free coffee from our deli,
huh?

To help with your nerves.

Just-just a one.

- Detective.
- Yes?

- Is everything under control?
- Yes.

Well, if I can help
with anything,

anything at all,
please don't hesitate to ask.

Thank you, Mr. Van Wyk.

[Elna] Detective. Detective.

I-I have some information...

- Detective. Detective!
- Yes!

Martine was in my shop last week

and she spent a long time

looking at a book
about astrology,

and just I wonder if that might
have affected things?

I highly doubt it.

I would like to
make a statement.

Of course, you would.

Ah, detective,
when you have a minute,

I-I need to speak to you
about the letters

Martine wrote to me,
well, to the Gazette.

Join the queue.

[telephone ringing]

Just take her to
an interview room.

And remind her
that she's been charged

with assaulting
a police officer.

You don't want any more charges,
you better be forthcoming.

Yes, sir, I'll interrogate her.

He should really put
a raw steak on that.

[Dirk]Hey! It wasn't me!

[indistinct].
It wasn't me!

Let's go.

[indistinct chatter]

Hi. Can I help you?

May I speak to the detective,
please?

- Detective.
- Yeah?

You are really popular today.

- Can I help you?
- Ms. Burger...

Ms. Martine,
I was her gardener,

my mother was her domestic.

Okay, someone will take your
statement, just sit down.

We're a little bit busy
right now.

It's like a damn soap opera
in here.

You sweetie me I will sweetie
you right back, okay?

You have no idea
how hard I'm fighting

to keep this business
running, sweetie.

And so, I'll, um, mail you
the proof of payment

first thing on Monday, okay?

Thank you. Bye.

Thank you.

Maria, how are you?

I just can't stop thinking
of Martine.

And that all of these...

and all of these are people
needing help.

Ah, Jess.
You are a lifesaver.

And just in time to help me
grill Maria.

So did you get
some good one on one time

with that gorgeous detective?

He was a wee bit rude to me
actually.

Such a typical cishet male.

Regardt says he's always
telling him what to do.

Isn't he Regardt's boss?

I suppose the detective
was a bit busy.

Dirk and Anna were both there.

Dirk shot at the sky.

Why on earth would he do that?

Just lock him up
and throw away the key!

Due process. Fair trial.

Yeah, yeah, all that.
But still...

- Arrogance of youth!
- What was that?

I said I can't wait to
read your article

on the talent competition.

Woo-hoo! Pow-pow! Talent!

Okay.

Martine Burger.

We found a fire poker
with fingerprints

that are being tested right now.

Yes.

Early medical records indicate

she had sleeping pills
in her system,

as well as the blow
to the back of the head.

We'll have a full autopsy
tomorrow.

Her husband, um,
said he was out drinking

with a large group of farmers,

and continued drinking
at the house of Fanie Le Roux.

He passed out there,
and only found Martine

when he arrived home at 5:00.

Did you verify all this?

Yes, sir, Piet and I saw
Dirk and Fanie

leaving the bar about
11:00 that night.

And Fanie's wife confirmed

they arrived there
straight from the bar.

Dirk only left this morning
when she chased him away.

We have statements from everyone
who saw her the day she died,

including her husband

and her best friend-lesbian
love interest.

[Khaya]Okay,
so, the next thing is

we just need to let
forensics do their job.

Piet, I want you to go to
the Koop.

Just find out
if we there's anyone

who spoke to her yesterday.

Are you gonna drop by
the Gazette?

Oh, yeah, the crucially
important letters.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

You know who is charming,
and really good at his job?

- Regardt?
- Piet!

He's so good with people,

such an asset
to that police force.

He's sweet
but he's not really my type.

Although he does have
a very shapely arse.

I wasn't talking
about type, Hattie.

I'm hardly out here looking to
find a policeman to date, am I?

I just wanted to make sure they
knew about Martine's letters.

Oh, I don't want to date
a policeman either,

but I'd let Khaya Meyer
interrogate me

any day of the week.

Well, if she gets arrested,
at least we'll know why.

[chuckles]

[Gideon]Dear, Tannie Maria.

Boy, do I need your help.

Got any good tips for seduction?

It's hard work being a farmer,

we're up before dawn

trying to look after
these animals of ours.

There are no time to think about
anything

when your livestock
are struggling.

[engine revving]

- Hi, Nigel.
- Good morning, Gideon.

Is this the poor bird?

Yeah, poor girl.

Just can't keep her meals down.

Thanks for coming out
so quickly.

I always prioritise
your animals, Gideon.

That really means a lot, Nige.

[Gideon]So I need a technique

that doesn't beat
about the bush.

The easy way to let
somebody know that...

And that you hope they think
you're kak lekker too.

Yours...

[phone vibrates]

Dirk is being released on bail!

He's only been charged for
the shooting this morning!

That's outrageous.

Maria, you should demand

that they read the letters
she wrote you!

The detective knows where I am
if he wants me.

Besides, I have work to do.

Absolutely, Maria,
your people need you.

Jessie, I'm sure the police are
following all the angles.

Fine, I'll interview
the abuser myself.

Since you asked, Jessie...

Did you file the article about
the Saturday's farmer's market?

And the profile about the youth
entrepreneur of the month?

I'll finish it today, I promise.

Fine. Then you can go and try
and get an interview.

That's all.

Don't try
and be all Carte Blanche

investigator about it.

Thanks, Hattie.
You're the best, bye!

And you are leaving me too?

I'm sorry, Hattie.

I've got to see a chicken
about an egg.

You know how it is.

[instrumental music]

Sorry.
Have you seen Dirk Burger?

No, sorry, we haven't.

Okay, thank you.

He'll be there...
Damn it.

I suppose you think
this is funny.

Hilarious, aren't you?

[hen clucking]

If you don't stop
hiding your eggs

like you're the Easter Bunny

I'll going to have to
lock you up at night

with the other hens.

I thought so.

I need three more.
Come on, show me the way.

Fishpond? This way?

Sorry.
Have you seen Dirk Burger?

Tall, blonde, mean eyes.

Thank you.

Sorry.
Have you seen Dirk Burger?

Who?

[sighs]

[dial tone ringing]

Hi, Tannie M.? Are you busy?

I could really use your help
on the Burger story.

I'm trying to track down Dirk,

but the house
is still a crime scene.

I'd love to, Jessie, but...

I think you and I
should go down to the Koop

and interview
Martine's colleagues.

I'm-I'm busy with
a seduction recipe.

I feel a responsibility to
help the people...

that have written to me.

You're better with that kind of
journalism anyway.

Will you let me know
what you find out?

- Okay.
- [Maria]Bye, bye.

[dial tone ringing]

[Jessie]So, you weren't
a part of Dirk's interrogation?

Ah, no. But even if I was,
I can't tell you about it.

No, of course not.

I was just wondering, was Dirk
the one that called it in?

Did he say that he found a body?

Was there a fight?

It's, um, it's hard finding
the body of someone you love.

Oh, no, no, no. He was an
abusive piece of crap to her.

And that's why we need to
build a case against him.

Oh, it's such a good profile
on this guy.

I found my dad's body.

[instrumental music]

[phone ringing]

Oh, God! Sorry. My ma.

Hello? I'm kinda busy.

Just an interview.

Okay, fine.

Riley's sick. I need to go
fetch him at his school.

- Sorry about...
- I think you, you should go.

Thanks for lunch.

[engine revving]

[instrumental music]

[Maria]In order to woo
your potential paramour,

you'll need
a great deal of courage,

a freshly washed face,

all your baking regulars,
and some eggs from happy hen.

Well, she's definitely doing
much better.

Thanks for coming back
to check on her, Nige.

Anytime.

[Maria]Beat the vanilla
extract, milk, eggs and oil

for about one minute
'til the mixture is creamy.

Then into that creamy mixture
you add the dry ingredients.

Slowly, gently.

[kettle whistles]

[Maria]Adding your boiling water

will make it thinner
than you expect.

Just trust me.

I know cakes.

Now for the yum part.

You're going to completely
cover your cake in chocolate.

Nigel.

Do you wanna come in?

I have cake.

I can't say no to that.

[Maria]Allow to bake
for 30 minutes,

and watch how nicely
things rise.

You'll know it's done

if you poke a stick into it
and the stick comes out dry.

Once the cake has cooled,

smother it in chocolate ganache

and then garnish.

[instrumental music]

[Maria]And there you have it.

A cake that could win over
even your worst enemy.

If you can't straight up
look them in the eyes

and say "I really like you,"
well, the cake will.

Oh, and P.S.

For the full effect

always serve with fresh
coated cream.

[instrumental music]

[engine revving]

[music continues]

How big a slice would you like?

Well, how big can I go?

Yeah, that's the one.

I thought I might drop a slice
into poor Anna.

Shame her blood sugar
must be so low

all the shock she's had.

[speaking in foreign language]

How can we help?

My son Lawrence was here before.

- He said I needed to...
- Hold on.

Just have a seat over here.
I'll be with you a minute.

Wou-would you like come cake?

Yes. Thank you.

I promise I won't interfere
with the investigation,

I'm just here on cake business.

Alright, Maria, five minutes.

Things aren't looking good
for her.

[Maria] Hello!

No cops.
Don't worry. Just cake.

[instrumental music]

Thank you.

Anna, what happened to Martine?

Tienie's dead.

I know. I'm sorry.

How did she die?

It's my fault.

Why is it your fault?

Tell me.

I'm your friend.
I only want to help.

I know.

I got there too late.

I felt something wrong.

I knew.

And I got in my bakkie
and I rushed there

but she was already dead.

Just like the ducks.

There she was
lying on the ground...

and she wasn't moving.

He was just staring at me...

Dirk.

Dirk was there?

You need to get a lawyer.

I don't care if I go to jail.

It doesn't matter anymore.

Tienie's dead.

- And Dirk?
- Oh.

You should press charges
against Dirk,

he tried to attack you earlier.

Yeah, well,
Dirk better watch out.

I'm not talking to you.

[Piet]I'm not talking
to you either, dear.

I'm just here to tell Maria
the detective is on his way.

Anna. Call a lawyer.

Please.

I think Anna is a lot smarter

than what some people
give her credit for.

And by some people you mean?

Dirk for one.

I'll leave a slice of cake here
for your detective.

Ah, he's not gonna eat it.

He's a rather proud
of his figure, our boss.

That is ridiculous!

Little slice of cake
never hurt anyone.

- It was delicious.
- Oh, thank you.

I completely forgot to
give you your cream earlier.

Here, just...

[phone ringing]

Just taste it.

[chuckles]

Amazing. We'll run that Tuesday
next week. You're a star.

Thanks.

Oh. You're not Jess.

- No. But I have cake?
- Oh, yes, please!

If only cake could write
the article

Jessie promised me on deadline.

- Mm. Oh.
- Oh, Maria, more mail.

Thank you.

Hello. Yes. This is Hattie
from the Karoo Gazette.

Could I speak to
Mr. Van Vlaanderen, please?

Yes, I'll hold.

[Aileen]Dear, Maria.

It's so wonderful to have
a picture of you in my head...

of what you look like now.

We haven't seen each other
in a very long time.

[chuckles softly]

[Aileen]I miss you.

I miss talking about
the old days.

I'm aching.

[Aileen] Lot of water under
the bridge, eh?

[tense music]

[dor opens]

Okay. Oh, detective.

I didn't expect to see you
'til Friday.

Let me guess,
a nice thick juicy rump, hm?

The meat obviously,
not your fine self.

- Just here on police business.
- Oh, if it's about Mrs. Burger.

All I did was
sell her some mutton.

Oh, no, no. No, not here on
police business, in there.

Oh, and to the fine ladies,
the press are anxious to help.

[indistinct]

Linda, my lamb.

- Your leg of lamb.
- Mm.

[knocking on door]

Maria?

Oh, no!

[knocking continues]

- Maria? The door!
- What? Oh, sorry.

Oh, no, I'm so sorry. I was just
talking to a colleague here.

- [Hattie]Go on! Hmm.
- Oh. It's you.

[Hattie]Mm-hm.

[door closes]

- I have come to... No, thank you.
- Cake?

I forgot, I left you a slice
at the station.

Oh, yes, your poor mum.

I'm here for the letters
Mrs. Burger

and Ms. Pretorius
wrote to you.

Oh.

Well, um...
The first one I read...

Well, the first one I read
was actually not the first one

that she sent because I read
them in the wrong order, so,

the first one that I read, well,
that was the, um...

[clears throat]

You do want to talk about
the letters?

Yes, you mentioned the sciatica
last week.

Let's do this properly.

Um...

Your name?

Just call me Tannie Maria.

This is a police report
not a cookie recipe.

Maria Purvis.

Maria Purvis.

Okay, so that will be your usual
quarter page, and a special

back page feature to celebrate

sevens years of manufacturing
concrete garden statues.

You must be so proud.
Bye-bye.

- Must I just...
- Write your statement.

[Hattie]Detective!

- How good to see you.
- Ms. Wilson.

Although under such tragic
circumstances.

I'm really sorry to disrupt your
workspace like this.

Oh, not at all.

We are always here to
serve the police.

[Khaya]Oh.

Well, it certainly seem like
you have a hotline

to police business.

[chuckles softly]

Sign there.

- Ah, Ms. Purvis...
- Maria.

Tannie Maria.

Maria...

I really appreciate your concern
for Mrs. Burger,

and I'm really sorry that this
whole business has affected you.

But this is a serious
police matter.

We've have no time
for amateur detectives.

Don't worry, detective.

I'll keep them from
bothering you.

You can count on me.

- Thank you.
- We're here anytime.

Anytime, anytime.

Don't hesitate to call anytime.

- Anytime at all. Goodbye.
- Thank you.

Don't hesitate.

[Khaya]Thank you.

What?

[sheeps bleating]

- I wanna go home!
- Soon.

- What are we waiting for?!
- If I say "stop..."

Jess, I'm really not
feeling good.

Are you going to puke on me?

No, but I just want to
go to bed.

Are sure you're not just
bunking off of school

'cause you had a maths test?

[horn blows] Come on!

- Can we just go?
- Okay.

[vehicle revs]

Your bail has been posted,
so you're free to go.

Um, but you may not leave town.

[dramatic music]

It's all my fault.

Yes, I've, I've put that
in your statement.

[instrumental music]

[door opens]

[door opens]

[Hattie]At last!

How kind of you to remember
that you actually have a job.

Sorry, Hats, just doing
some research.

Karoo Gazette,
Hattie Wilson speaking?

Ah, Marius. How lovely to
hear from you. Mm-hm. Oh.

- Maria. No.
- Do you want some cake?

I know that you said
that you couldn't help,

but I need you to come
immediately!

Come where? I'm busy
workin' on a letter.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear you didn't
enjoy the feature on some of

the historical road names
in our little town.

I found out where Dirk
is staying.

We need to talk to him now.

[Hattie]Mm. Oh.

No.

Please. I can't do it alone.

I need a partner.

Do it for Martine.

Okay.

I'll bring a wee slice of cake.

I'll sneak out first,
you follow.

[chuckling]

I found it was quite
innocuous, really.

Oh, so you're saying the word
colonial is aggressive?

Oh, I do apologise, Mr. Rabie,

and I will absolutely
have a word

with the journalist in question.

Thank you so much
for raising your concerns.

Bye.

[scoffs] Jess, you can't believe
that claptrap Marius Rabie

is spouting about you...

Maria?

[Piet]Knock, knock!

You're alreay in.

No wonder you're grumpy today.

What do you mean?

Your assailant made bail,
by the way.

You know, sometimes I forget
why you're my friend.

Because who else in this town
gets you like, bro?

[chuckles softly] You're right.

Best get back to work.

[Piet]In that case,
I have to tell you

the prints came back...

The fire poker was covered
in Anna's prints.

Between that and the wedding
plate has been smashed.

We need to arrest Anna
again now.

Yeah! Lucky us.

Let's go.

Are you sure this is right?
What is this place?

It's a guest house run by
Seventh-day Adventists.

- Seventh-day Adventist.
- Why are you bringing that?

Would you leave a child
in the car?

- Hello.
- Hi.

Frank.

- Good day. How can I help?
- Hi.

Good day, good sir.

We're looking for a man about
your height, super mean...

- Woah!
- Where's Dirk?

- Maria.
- I'm gonna kill him.

Anna, why don't we sit down
and have wee chat.

- No, thank you.
- I have cake.

Thank you very much.
No, thank you. Hey!

Oh! Oh!

I'm surprised the police
let you go, you murderous cow!

You killed Tienie!

I would never hurt my wife!

Well, you killed the ducks
that I gave her.

I'm a farmer, okay.
We kill animals all the time.

And wives.

I thought the cops would
deal with you.

But now, it's just you and me.

No, it really isn't.
We're here too.

And the kids. I think you should
let the kids go.

You have a daughter,
don't you, Dirk?

Martina was pleased what good
care you took of her.

You paid the bills. You..

I mean, you love kids,
don't you?

Okay, fine. Let the mother go.
Go, go, go!

[indistinct]

Bet you can't even fire
that thing.

Left middle toe.

[shot fired]

[Dirk groaning]

[exclaiming] Ah!

[groaning]

[gunshots]

[Anna groaning]

[splash]

[screams]

[Dirk screaming]

Detective!

- Yes, it's Tannie Maria.
- We're fine.

- Actually, no. But...
- You shot me!

You shot me!

[Tannie] Yes, please!

[groaning] Ahh!
Stop, stop, stop!

[instrumental music]

[female #1] Oh, no.
No thank you.

[groans] Gentle, gentle. Okay?

[speaks foreign]

We are gonna
take a nice long bath

and we're gonna feel
much better.

[Tannie]That must have been
a bit scary.

- Are the kids okay?
- Thank you for helping them.

It was very brave.

Oh, I think they
were very brave.

Would they like some cake?

It does have a bit of a bullet
hole in it but I tasted some

and it doesn't seem to have
gunpowder flavour or anything.

I'm sorry, we can't.

We're vegan.
It's our religion.

Your religion is vegan?

I thought you were Seventh-day...

- Adventist. We are.
- Hm.

My wife just meant that

because of our religion
we are vegan.

Oh.

I am sorry.

Detective.

Wasn't that cake shot?
We have to take it evidence.

But it'll go bad!

Eat the cake. You can forensic
the cake savour if you need to.

- Of course, have one more.
- I'm sure you do.

I'm still unclear.

Why are you and your colleague
here?

We wanted to interview Dirk.

Have I not asked you already

that you must leave
this murder to us.

- Piet!
- [Piet]Yeah.

I'll go with these two
to the hospital.

You mean those
trigger happy nutjobs?

People of interest.

- No sense of humour, that one.
- Yeah, wel...

- Ju-just don't. Just...
- Calm down.

[instrumental music]

Jessica.

Sorry, ma, I know it's late.

There was a shootout
at the guesthouse.

I was investigating...

Don't you want to know
how Riley is?

When I got home,
his temperature was 38

and he was vomiting everywhere.

But, ma, he said he was
faking it.

Really?

Okay, no,
I said he was faking it.

But he didn't deny it
I was doing work, ma.

You gave him nothing.

Not even a paracetemol
for his fever.

I'm not his mother!

You asked me to bring him home
and I brought him home!

I didn't think I needed to
ask you for a little kindness.

Bronwyn could have
taken care of him.

Bronwyn's still a child.

When I was her age, I was making
supper, taking care of us

while you worked night shifts.

I wasn't able to
be a child then.

[instrumental music]

- Is he okay?
- Hmm.

It's this 48 hour bug,
plenty of fluids

and lots of rest
and he'll be fine.

- And some red jelly?
- Jelly?

When I was sick,
dad always brought me red jelly.

I thought it was magic.

What am I going to do with you,
Jess, hm?

I trusted you today.

Your brother needed real help,

not some red jelly.

What if I didn't know
how to help?

I'm not his mother,
or his nurse.

That's your life,
and I don't want it.

[dramatic music]

[glass bottle clinks]

[door closes]

I didn't know you were up.

I'll make you a cup of tea.

"Cleared."

Right.

[Gideon]Dear, Tannie Maria.

You really know your stuff.

I made you a doggy bag.

Couldn't eat another slice.

[Gideon chuckles softly]

- Thank you.
- My pleasure.

Bye.

Tannie Maria, let me tell you,
that kiss...

it was like a whole
bucket load of fireworks

exploded over the koppie
all at once.

Thanks for turning my crush
into crushed lips.

Yours, enamoured in Eden.

Quick, we need to talk before
Hattie comes in.

Don't tell me you didn't write
your talent show piece?

No, I finished that.
That stuff's easy.

You know she doesn't want us
investigating

Martine's murder any more?

Yes.

And the cops keep telling us to
stay away?

Yes.

Well, I was thinking, you and I
should go to Martine's house

and see the crime scene
for ourselves.

I'm a really great
investigative journalist,

and you knew Martine
from her letters...

- Yes.
- What?

I'm in.

Cool.

[phone buzzing]

[Hattie]Ah!

A full house of staff.

Truly, I'm blessed.

[clears throat]

Sorry, Hattie, I'll ge cracking
on that wool piece of yours.

Wonderful.

Oh. My sex cake worked!

Even better.

[chuckles]

See you tonight.

[dramatic music]

Mmm!

- So good.
- Shhh!

Maria, what are you wearing?

It was the only black thing
I could find.

[suspenseful music]

- Take off your shoes.
- Okay.

Hold this.

I can crack it.
I googled it.

Of course you did.

I did it.

Here.

[Tannie sighs]

[music continues]

[shutter clicking]

Looks like Dirk hasn't been back
here since Martine died.

Since he murdered her.

[music continues]

[Jessie]Let's go.
Let's go. Let's go.

Come on.

Come on...

[glass shattering]

[theme music]

[music continues]

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