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[♪]
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00:00:15,681 --> 00:00:18,049
♪ love and marriage ♪
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00:00:18,050 --> 00:00:20,518
♪ love and marriage ♪
4
00:00:20,519 --> 00:00:22,320
♪ go together like ♪
5
00:00:22,321 --> 00:00:24,789
♪ a horse and carriage ♪
6
00:00:24,790 --> 00:00:28,793
♪ this I tell ya, brother ♪
7
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♪ you can't have one ♪
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00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:33,632
♪ without the other ♪
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♪ love and marriage ♪
10
00:00:35,935 --> 00:00:38,536
♪ love and marriage ♪
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00:00:38,537 --> 00:00:39,938
♪ it's an institute ♪
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00:00:39,939 --> 00:00:42,340
♪ you can't disparage ♪
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00:00:42,341 --> 00:00:46,111
♪ ask the local gentry ♪
14
00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:50,649
♪ and they will say
it's elementary ♪
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00:00:50,650 --> 00:00:55,453
♪ try, try, try
to separate them ♪
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00:00:55,454 --> 00:00:59,157
♪ it's an illusion ♪
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00:00:59,158 --> 00:01:04,295
♪ try, try, try
and you will only come ♪
18
00:01:04,296 --> 00:01:07,732
♪ to this conclusion ♪
19
00:01:07,733 --> 00:01:09,834
♪ love and marriage ♪
20
00:01:29,822 --> 00:01:31,690
Kelly, are you going out
21
00:01:31,691 --> 00:01:34,859
Walking by
construction sites again?
22
00:01:34,860 --> 00:01:36,460
Because if you are,
give me five minutes.
23
00:01:36,461 --> 00:01:39,130
I'll put on something cute
and come join you.
24
00:01:39,131 --> 00:01:41,632
No, mom, this is my
valentine's day outfit.
25
00:01:41,633 --> 00:01:44,669
See, all the guys
are down at the mall,
26
00:01:44,670 --> 00:01:45,704
You know, waiting for me
27
00:01:45,705 --> 00:01:47,105
To give me their cards
and candy
28
00:01:47,106 --> 00:01:48,306
And other gifts
of their devotion,
29
00:01:48,307 --> 00:01:49,808
So I'll be taking
the laundry bag.
30
00:01:49,809 --> 00:01:51,042
You don't need it, do you?
31
00:01:51,043 --> 00:01:53,311
Nah. It's mostly decorative.
32
00:01:53,312 --> 00:01:57,348
Gee, I sure hope bud gets
a valentine this year.
33
00:01:57,349 --> 00:01:58,850
So does he.
34
00:01:58,851 --> 00:02:00,651
He's got about
as much chance
35
00:02:00,652 --> 00:02:02,320
Of getting a valentine
36
00:02:02,321 --> 00:02:05,456
As I do
of getting an "a."
37
00:02:09,995 --> 00:02:13,464
Ladies...Kelly.
38
00:02:22,007 --> 00:02:25,509
Yup, this is going
to be my special day.
39
00:02:25,510 --> 00:02:27,011
Any girls call me?
40
00:02:27,012 --> 00:02:29,513
Yup. They call you
geek, dork,
41
00:02:29,514 --> 00:02:31,515
And hairy palms.
42
00:02:31,516 --> 00:02:33,684
That was the old bud.
43
00:02:33,685 --> 00:02:35,153
This year, I'm hot.
44
00:02:35,154 --> 00:02:37,455
See, in the past, I haven't
been interested in girls.
45
00:02:37,456 --> 00:02:41,826
Seeing kelly in the morning
can do that to a guy.
46
00:02:43,695 --> 00:02:46,631
No, but this year,
I threw around a few winks,
47
00:02:46,632 --> 00:02:49,467
Let it be known
I'm accepting valentines,
48
00:02:49,468 --> 00:02:51,469
So they should be rolling in.
49
00:02:51,470 --> 00:02:52,971
Won't they, mom?
50
00:02:52,972 --> 00:02:55,974
Sure, they will, son.
51
00:02:55,975 --> 00:02:57,508
But not for you.
52
00:02:57,509 --> 00:03:00,912
Well, I'm
off to the mall.
53
00:03:00,913 --> 00:03:02,480
Hey, kel,
I see you're wearing
54
00:03:02,481 --> 00:03:04,048
Your "love me for my mind"
outfit again.
55
00:03:08,087 --> 00:03:10,588
I hate valentine's day
in the shoe store.
56
00:03:10,589 --> 00:03:13,091
Every fat woman
in chicago hippos in
57
00:03:13,092 --> 00:03:16,761
Wanting pink pumps.
58
00:03:16,762 --> 00:03:18,429
They think it
makes them look sexy,
59
00:03:18,430 --> 00:03:20,131
As if anyone
could see the shoes
60
00:03:20,132 --> 00:03:22,801
Over the bulging flesh
of their ankles.
61
00:03:22,802 --> 00:03:24,435
Good morning, al.
62
00:03:24,436 --> 00:03:25,703
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
63
00:03:30,876 --> 00:03:32,610
So, honey, you want
anything special
64
00:03:32,611 --> 00:03:34,279
For valentine's day?
65
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:37,215
Yeah, but she's
wrestling in the mud,
66
00:03:37,216 --> 00:03:38,716
And I'm just living there.
67
00:03:38,717 --> 00:03:40,218
[doorbell rings]
68
00:03:40,219 --> 00:03:41,719
Who the hell could that be?
69
00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,055
Well, it's valentine's day.
Maybe it's cupid.
70
00:03:44,056 --> 00:03:46,557
No, he'd never
show his face around here again
71
00:03:46,558 --> 00:03:48,326
After making this match.
72
00:03:48,327 --> 00:03:50,228
Hi, al.
73
00:03:50,229 --> 00:03:53,564
You know, all you have to do
is walk outside, look around.
74
00:03:53,565 --> 00:03:55,200
You just know
it's valentine's day.
75
00:03:55,201 --> 00:03:56,367
What do you want?
76
00:03:56,368 --> 00:03:57,468
Al, I need a favor.
77
00:03:58,971 --> 00:04:00,905
Uh, peggy, I need a favor.
78
00:04:00,906 --> 00:04:03,308
I need someplace
to hide marcie's present.
79
00:04:03,309 --> 00:04:05,910
Oh, gee, steve, what is it?
80
00:04:05,911 --> 00:04:07,912
You know, having al
for a husband,
81
00:04:07,913 --> 00:04:10,414
I've always wondered,
what do husbands
82
00:04:10,415 --> 00:04:13,584
Give their wives
for valentine's day?
83
00:04:13,585 --> 00:04:16,054
Well, this isn't
a fair example.
84
00:04:16,055 --> 00:04:18,422
See, for us, it's not just
valentine's day.
85
00:04:18,423 --> 00:04:20,191
It's our first anniversary.
86
00:04:20,192 --> 00:04:22,927
Oh, al...
87
00:04:22,928 --> 00:04:26,898
Leave me alone.
88
00:04:26,899 --> 00:04:29,700
Yes, well, uh,
would you hide this for me?
89
00:04:29,701 --> 00:04:34,272
Sure. I'll
hide it upstairs.
90
00:04:34,273 --> 00:04:37,041
Let me save you
some wear and tear
91
00:04:37,042 --> 00:04:38,977
On your nails
and teeth.
92
00:04:38,978 --> 00:04:40,879
See, the first anniversary
is paper,
93
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:42,881
And since paper
isn't all that romantic,
94
00:04:42,882 --> 00:04:45,216
I got her tickets for two
to hawaii.
95
00:04:45,217 --> 00:04:47,818
Oh, now, please don't tell her.
I want it to be a surprise.
96
00:04:47,819 --> 00:04:50,721
Don't worry.
I can keep a secret.
97
00:04:50,722 --> 00:04:52,723
Oh, by the way, al,
98
00:04:52,724 --> 00:04:55,559
That little rubber doughnut
you ordered came in yesterday.
99
00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:57,262
Al's got 'rhoids,
you know.
100
00:05:01,566 --> 00:05:07,071
Well, you're obviously
sitting pretty.
101
00:05:07,072 --> 00:05:09,040
So, what are you
getting peggy
102
00:05:09,041 --> 00:05:10,608
For valentine's day?
103
00:05:10,609 --> 00:05:12,576
Fur, jewels, a car?
104
00:05:12,577 --> 00:05:15,579
If it was
only that easy.
105
00:05:15,580 --> 00:05:19,250
I'm going to have
sex with her.
106
00:05:19,251 --> 00:05:21,252
It's kind of a tradition.
107
00:05:21,253 --> 00:05:24,255
Every valentine's day,
I climb those stairs,
108
00:05:24,256 --> 00:05:26,925
You know, walk
the last mile, and, uh...
109
00:05:26,926 --> 00:05:31,862
Slam-dunk her one.
110
00:05:31,863 --> 00:05:33,264
It's a spin
through hell for me,
111
00:05:33,265 --> 00:05:35,099
But she
seems to like it.
112
00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:37,368
I only pray
that after 16 years,
113
00:05:37,369 --> 00:05:38,602
Marcie and I will
have
114
00:05:38,603 --> 00:05:41,705
That kind of magic
between us.
115
00:05:41,706 --> 00:05:43,441
Steve, if it was magic,
116
00:05:43,442 --> 00:05:45,709
I could do it from down
here in front of the tv.
117
00:05:58,390 --> 00:06:00,425
[doorbell rings]
118
00:06:00,426 --> 00:06:01,725
Hi, peggy.
119
00:06:01,726 --> 00:06:03,727
I waited till steve left home.
120
00:06:03,728 --> 00:06:05,229
I need your help.
121
00:06:05,230 --> 00:06:08,032
What can I get him
for our anniversary?
122
00:06:08,033 --> 00:06:12,236
Well, don't get him
two tickets to hawaii.
123
00:06:12,237 --> 00:06:16,341
That's what he got you.
It's a surprise.
124
00:06:16,342 --> 00:06:20,244
He got me tickets to hawaii?
125
00:06:20,245 --> 00:06:21,745
Damn him!
126
00:06:21,746 --> 00:06:25,249
He's so irritating,
getting me the perfect gift.
127
00:06:25,250 --> 00:06:28,752
Now I have to get him
something just as great.
128
00:06:28,753 --> 00:06:31,489
What a weenie.
God, I hate him.
129
00:06:31,490 --> 00:06:34,725
Sure you do.
He's your husband.
130
00:06:34,726 --> 00:06:35,860
Yeah, well,
131
00:06:35,861 --> 00:06:38,196
I still have to find him
something really good--
132
00:06:38,197 --> 00:06:41,532
Something personal,
something romantic,
133
00:06:41,533 --> 00:06:43,034
Something that symbolizes
134
00:06:43,035 --> 00:06:45,970
The depth and purity
of our relationship.
135
00:06:45,971 --> 00:06:49,073
You could jump naked
out of a cake.
136
00:06:49,074 --> 00:06:51,142
Yeah. That says it all!
137
00:06:51,143 --> 00:06:52,543
But who would know
138
00:06:52,544 --> 00:06:55,013
Where to find something
so kinky?
139
00:06:55,014 --> 00:06:58,883
Cakes a poppin'.
140
00:06:58,884 --> 00:07:01,886
Just ask for leif.
Here's their number.
141
00:07:01,887 --> 00:07:04,889
Oh, and when you pay,
have them stamp my card.
142
00:07:04,890 --> 00:07:07,392
Two more, I get one free.
143
00:07:07,393 --> 00:07:08,893
I'll do it.
144
00:07:08,894 --> 00:07:11,396
I know.
The cake can say,
145
00:07:11,397 --> 00:07:13,264
"take me.
I'm yours."
146
00:07:13,265 --> 00:07:14,732
Steve will love it.
Thanks, peg.
147
00:07:14,733 --> 00:07:18,002
So, do you know
what al's getting you?
148
00:07:18,003 --> 00:07:20,905
Oh, yeah. Same thing he
gets me every year.
149
00:07:20,906 --> 00:07:23,674
He's going to slam-dunk
me a quick one.
150
00:07:27,513 --> 00:07:28,913
Of course,
those are his words.
151
00:07:28,914 --> 00:07:29,914
I mean, in reality,
152
00:07:29,915 --> 00:07:34,419
It's more like
a foul shot.
153
00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:39,090
You know, he takes
a deep breath and scores.
154
00:07:39,091 --> 00:07:40,258
Sure, it's worth a point,
155
00:07:40,259 --> 00:07:43,561
But it will never make
the highlight reel.
156
00:07:43,562 --> 00:07:47,798
It's like your honeymoon
never ended.
157
00:07:47,799 --> 00:07:49,800
But as long as he
tells you he loves you,
158
00:07:49,801 --> 00:07:51,369
I guess that's all
that really matters.
159
00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:53,104
Actually, al says,
160
00:07:53,105 --> 00:07:57,208
"there. That
should hold you."
161
00:07:57,209 --> 00:07:58,709
But you know al.
You know,
162
00:07:58,710 --> 00:08:01,212
He just has difficulty
saying certain things,
163
00:08:01,213 --> 00:08:03,714
Like "I love you,"
"thank you,"
164
00:08:03,715 --> 00:08:06,917
And "look out.
There's a car coming."
165
00:08:06,918 --> 00:08:10,388
Oh, bunk.
You live in this hovel,
166
00:08:10,389 --> 00:08:13,391
You bore him
those two awful children,
167
00:08:13,392 --> 00:08:16,294
And he can't even
tell you he loves you?
168
00:08:16,295 --> 00:08:17,895
I've heard him say
"I love the cubs."
169
00:08:17,896 --> 00:08:18,896
"I'd love a beer."
170
00:08:18,897 --> 00:08:21,432
"I'd love it
if you leave, marcie."
171
00:08:21,433 --> 00:08:22,467
Face it, peggy.
172
00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:24,702
This man's no stranger
to the word "love."
173
00:08:24,703 --> 00:08:28,172
Oh, it doesn't matter.
I mean, I know he loves me.
174
00:08:28,173 --> 00:08:29,673
He doesn't say it,
175
00:08:29,674 --> 00:08:32,676
And it would be nice
to hear it once in a while,
176
00:08:32,677 --> 00:08:34,178
But it's no big deal.
177
00:08:34,179 --> 00:08:36,581
I mean, he does so many other
wonderful things for me.
178
00:08:36,582 --> 00:08:40,118
He, uh...
179
00:08:41,686 --> 00:08:43,287
Hi, mom.
180
00:08:43,288 --> 00:08:46,457
Kelly, what does
your father do for me?
181
00:08:46,458 --> 00:08:50,861
Well, he...
182
00:08:50,862 --> 00:08:52,597
Daddy?
183
00:08:52,598 --> 00:08:53,697
Nevermind.
184
00:08:53,698 --> 00:08:55,199
Where's your brother?
185
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,734
Oh, he's standing
by the mailbox,
186
00:08:56,735 --> 00:08:58,202
Waiting for a valentine.
187
00:08:58,203 --> 00:08:59,703
I haven't got the heart
188
00:08:59,704 --> 00:09:01,705
To remind him
it's Sunday.
189
00:09:01,706 --> 00:09:04,242
Well, just in case he doesn't
get one this year,
190
00:09:04,243 --> 00:09:06,477
I want you to
go easy on him, okay?
191
00:09:06,478 --> 00:09:07,878
Come on, mom.
We both know
192
00:09:07,879 --> 00:09:09,713
That bud's an obnoxious,
ratlike creature,
193
00:09:09,714 --> 00:09:12,716
But it doesn't mean
I don't love him.
194
00:09:12,717 --> 00:09:13,851
He knows that.
195
00:09:13,852 --> 00:09:15,386
How does he know that?
196
00:09:15,387 --> 00:09:16,320
I tell him.
197
00:09:17,456 --> 00:09:19,757
Well, has
he ever told you?
198
00:09:19,758 --> 00:09:20,958
Oh, sure. You got to.
199
00:09:20,959 --> 00:09:22,560
I mean, it kind of
takes the edge
200
00:09:22,561 --> 00:09:24,328
Off things like this...
201
00:09:29,734 --> 00:09:32,069
Oh, bud. It's Sunday.
202
00:09:32,070 --> 00:09:35,239
There's no mail
on Sunday.
203
00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:37,575
Happy valentine's day.
204
00:09:37,576 --> 00:09:41,912
No!
205
00:09:41,913 --> 00:09:45,550
Love him? You betcha.
206
00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:48,085
Hey, peg. How come when I said,
"hi, bud,"
207
00:09:48,086 --> 00:09:50,288
He said,
"I don't need your pity"?
208
00:09:52,591 --> 00:09:54,124
You don't really want to know,
do you?
209
00:09:54,125 --> 00:09:57,562
Nope.
210
00:09:57,563 --> 00:10:02,733
What time is dinner
rearing its ugly head?
211
00:10:02,734 --> 00:10:04,569
Soon, honey.
212
00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:07,738
By the way...
I love you, al.
213
00:10:07,739 --> 00:10:11,041
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
214
00:10:11,042 --> 00:10:13,578
Look, peg, I know you're
anxiously awaiting
215
00:10:13,579 --> 00:10:17,014
Your valentine
sex-a-rama...
216
00:10:17,015 --> 00:10:18,616
So here's the plan.
217
00:10:18,617 --> 00:10:20,318
I can slide you in
218
00:10:20,319 --> 00:10:21,319
Between the bulls-
pistons game
219
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:24,054
And the rifleman.
220
00:10:24,055 --> 00:10:26,657
Gee, there's about
four or five commercials
221
00:10:26,658 --> 00:10:28,125
In between them.
222
00:10:28,126 --> 00:10:30,894
Are we going
to do it twice?
223
00:10:30,895 --> 00:10:32,162
Peg, remember,
224
00:10:32,163 --> 00:10:36,300
A smart mouth
is a lonely mouth.
225
00:10:36,301 --> 00:10:38,168
You know, al, this year,
226
00:10:38,169 --> 00:10:40,504
I was hoping
for something different.
227
00:10:40,505 --> 00:10:47,010
Uh-uh, peg.
The socks stay on.
228
00:10:47,011 --> 00:10:50,013
No, al. This year,
instead of sex,
229
00:10:50,014 --> 00:10:51,682
I want you
to tell me you love me.
230
00:10:57,289 --> 00:11:00,924
What if I do
take the socks off?
231
00:11:00,925 --> 00:11:02,393
I'm serious, al.
I want to hear it.
232
00:11:02,394 --> 00:11:03,394
Yeah, right.
233
00:11:03,395 --> 00:11:04,595
Well, listen, peg.
234
00:11:04,596 --> 00:11:06,063
I'm going to go
upstairs and wash up,
235
00:11:06,064 --> 00:11:07,598
But just to show you
236
00:11:07,599 --> 00:11:09,800
How really special
you are to me,
237
00:11:09,801 --> 00:11:13,738
Tonight I'm
going to kiss you.
238
00:11:17,108 --> 00:11:21,646
Well, mom, I've got all my cards
in this bag.
239
00:11:21,647 --> 00:11:24,515
Now, instead of dating
all the guys in here,
240
00:11:24,516 --> 00:11:26,850
Which last year proved
to be almost impossible,
241
00:11:26,851 --> 00:11:28,686
This year, I'm going to
pick one lucky guy
242
00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:30,220
To represent
all of my admirers.
243
00:11:30,221 --> 00:11:31,289
Doesn't matter who it is.
244
00:11:31,290 --> 00:11:32,623
This is the one day
245
00:11:32,624 --> 00:11:33,624
Everyone
has a fair chance,
246
00:11:33,625 --> 00:11:37,762
So pick one for me.
247
00:11:37,763 --> 00:11:38,763
Josh.
248
00:11:38,764 --> 00:11:44,201
He's really ugly.
Pick again.
249
00:11:44,202 --> 00:11:46,069
Sheldon?
250
00:11:46,070 --> 00:11:50,441
Okay, give me the bag.
251
00:11:50,442 --> 00:11:52,743
Okay.
252
00:11:52,744 --> 00:11:56,647
Pick the red one
with the star.
253
00:11:56,648 --> 00:11:57,981
Johnny.
254
00:11:57,982 --> 00:12:00,017
Oh, what luck.
The cutest guy in school.
255
00:12:00,018 --> 00:12:02,553
Oh, you sure know
how to pick a man.
256
00:12:06,057 --> 00:12:09,159
Well, all my valentines
finally came in.
257
00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:10,561
I'm going upstairs
to open them.
258
00:12:10,562 --> 00:12:13,063
[bottles clanking]
259
00:12:13,064 --> 00:12:15,566
Sounds kind of
like pop bottles.
260
00:12:15,567 --> 00:12:16,967
Well, they're not.
261
00:12:16,968 --> 00:12:18,469
They're paper.
262
00:12:18,470 --> 00:12:19,637
[clank]
263
00:12:19,638 --> 00:12:21,138
Uh, you know, bud...
264
00:12:21,139 --> 00:12:23,106
You're my valentine.
265
00:12:23,107 --> 00:12:28,346
Wow. Wait till I
go tell the guys.
266
00:12:28,347 --> 00:12:30,481
Well, speaking
of losers,
267
00:12:30,482 --> 00:12:32,916
I'm going to go through
these excess valentines.
268
00:12:32,917 --> 00:12:36,420
Let's see. "fairest kelly."
269
00:12:36,421 --> 00:12:41,258
"beautiful kelly."
"kelly, my love. "
270
00:12:41,259 --> 00:12:42,760
"dearest bud"?
271
00:12:42,761 --> 00:12:44,762
Yes, yes! I knew it!
272
00:12:44,763 --> 00:12:47,498
Give it here.
273
00:12:51,770 --> 00:12:57,441
It's from some girl
named...April may June.
274
00:12:57,442 --> 00:12:59,943
She says she loves me,
275
00:12:59,944 --> 00:13:02,446
And she's coming over
to see me tonight.
276
00:13:02,447 --> 00:13:04,114
Oh, that's great, honey.
277
00:13:04,115 --> 00:13:06,917
Did you write
that card as a joke?
278
00:13:06,918 --> 00:13:08,652
No. Did you?
279
00:13:08,653 --> 00:13:11,622
Hey, you did write this,
didn't you, kel?
280
00:13:11,623 --> 00:13:13,123
I mean, "April,
may, June"--
281
00:13:13,124 --> 00:13:19,062
Those are all
words you know.
282
00:13:19,063 --> 00:13:21,265
Come on, kel, just tell me,
because I've got a chance
283
00:13:21,266 --> 00:13:23,000
To go to the bulls game
tonight with joey.
284
00:13:23,001 --> 00:13:25,068
Gee, bud. Dilemma, dilemma.
285
00:13:25,069 --> 00:13:27,070
Do you get all dressed up,
286
00:13:27,071 --> 00:13:29,306
Stay here,
and look like an idiot,
287
00:13:29,307 --> 00:13:30,441
Or go to the game,
288
00:13:30,442 --> 00:13:32,410
Stand up the only date
you'll ever have,
289
00:13:32,411 --> 00:13:33,544
And look like an idiot?
290
00:13:33,545 --> 00:13:35,979
Hmm. Tough one for bud.
291
00:13:35,980 --> 00:13:37,281
Well, I'm going
to got upstairs
292
00:13:37,282 --> 00:13:39,249
And get ready
for my real date.
293
00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:40,751
Did you write that,
kel?
294
00:13:40,752 --> 00:13:42,252
Just say yes or no.
295
00:13:42,253 --> 00:13:43,353
No.
296
00:13:43,354 --> 00:13:44,955
Come on, kel, really,
I know you did.
297
00:13:44,956 --> 00:13:46,424
Okay, yeah, I did.
298
00:13:46,425 --> 00:13:49,493
Oh, no, you didn't.
Really, kel?
299
00:13:51,162 --> 00:13:56,967
Okay, peg. No sense
in putting off the inevitable.
300
00:13:56,968 --> 00:13:58,602
Now, the kids
are upstairs,
301
00:13:58,603 --> 00:14:01,939
So we probably shouldn't
do it up there,
302
00:14:01,940 --> 00:14:04,408
What with your screaming
and everything.
303
00:14:04,409 --> 00:14:06,777
That was your fault, al.
304
00:14:06,778 --> 00:14:09,447
You're the one
who turned the lights on.
305
00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:17,822
Hey, let's not throw stones
on this romantic night.
306
00:14:17,823 --> 00:14:18,823
Now, it's almost time,
307
00:14:18,824 --> 00:14:20,624
So why don't you
go down to the basement,
308
00:14:20,625 --> 00:14:21,759
Blow up the air mattress?
309
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:23,994
I'll pop some tums
and be right down.
310
00:14:23,995 --> 00:14:28,198
I want to hear it, al.
311
00:14:28,199 --> 00:14:30,100
I want to hear you say
"I love you."
312
00:14:30,101 --> 00:14:32,002
Not that again.
313
00:14:32,003 --> 00:14:33,203
Okay, peg.
314
00:14:33,204 --> 00:14:35,005
Now, I know you didn't
think of this yourself.
315
00:14:35,006 --> 00:14:38,408
Now, where did this come from?
Phil? Oprah?
316
00:14:38,409 --> 00:14:40,377
Marcie.
317
00:14:40,378 --> 00:14:43,380
Oh, great. The only one
we can't turn off.
318
00:14:43,381 --> 00:14:46,383
Al, steve and marcie
not only say it,
319
00:14:46,384 --> 00:14:49,119
They mean it,
and they show it.
320
00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:51,822
Do you know what marcie's
giving steve tonight?
321
00:14:51,823 --> 00:14:54,324
A running start.
322
00:14:54,325 --> 00:14:56,827
No, she went
to cakes a poppin',
323
00:14:56,828 --> 00:14:58,829
And she's having herself
delivered to him.
324
00:14:58,830 --> 00:15:00,263
Then she's going
to pop out naked.
325
00:15:00,264 --> 00:15:01,765
I hope you're happy, peg..
326
00:15:01,766 --> 00:15:04,935
I'll never
eat cake again.
327
00:15:04,936 --> 00:15:07,304
Al, if she can go to all that
trouble for steve,
328
00:15:07,305 --> 00:15:10,140
The least you can do for me
is say "I love you."
329
00:15:14,579 --> 00:15:19,717
I'm not going downstairs
with you unless you say it.
330
00:15:19,718 --> 00:15:22,452
Withholding sex
from me, peg? Oh no!
331
00:15:26,457 --> 00:15:28,091
Well, I guess I'll
just have to relax
332
00:15:28,092 --> 00:15:31,028
And have fun instead.
333
00:15:31,029 --> 00:15:34,031
Come on, peg.
What's the big deal?
334
00:15:34,032 --> 00:15:36,099
You know I do.
335
00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:37,535
I just don't like
to say it.
336
00:15:37,536 --> 00:15:39,937
It...Makes me sick.
337
00:15:39,938 --> 00:15:42,940
Well, it doesn't make me
sick to say it.
338
00:15:42,941 --> 00:15:44,441
I love you.
339
00:15:44,442 --> 00:15:46,476
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
340
00:15:46,477 --> 00:15:48,879
I'll be waiting upstairs.
341
00:15:52,551 --> 00:15:58,055
Time to reach out
and touch someone.
342
00:15:58,056 --> 00:16:00,490
Yeah, here we go.
343
00:16:00,491 --> 00:16:03,093
Ahem. Ahem.
344
00:16:07,032 --> 00:16:12,135
Hello. Yes, I'm calling about
the marcie rhoades cake.
345
00:16:12,136 --> 00:16:14,371
No, this is her husband.
346
00:16:14,372 --> 00:16:16,574
Yes, there's been
a change of plans.
347
00:16:16,575 --> 00:16:19,443
Instead of the address
she gave you...
348
00:16:19,444 --> 00:16:21,545
Do you have a pen?
349
00:16:26,785 --> 00:16:30,287
Bud, I don't know why
you're dressed like that.
350
00:16:30,288 --> 00:16:32,790
If you don't think
you really have a date,
351
00:16:32,791 --> 00:16:35,292
Why did you pass up
a chance to go to the game?
352
00:16:35,293 --> 00:16:37,294
Look, maybe I just wanted
to spend the night
353
00:16:37,295 --> 00:16:39,797
Watching the game
with my dad.
354
00:16:39,798 --> 00:16:42,132
Why? What did I do?
355
00:16:42,133 --> 00:16:44,134
Oh, by the way, dad,
mom's upstairs cursing you.
356
00:16:44,135 --> 00:16:46,003
I'm late. I've got to go.
357
00:16:46,004 --> 00:16:48,171
Wait a second.
Kelly, come here a second.
358
00:16:51,209 --> 00:16:57,081
Now, you guys are,
what, in your teens?
359
00:16:57,082 --> 00:16:59,083
Something like that,
dad, yeah.
360
00:16:59,084 --> 00:17:01,752
Well, you've known me
most of those years.
361
00:17:01,753 --> 00:17:03,553
How do you think your dad
feels about you?
362
00:17:03,554 --> 00:17:06,824
I mean, do you know
that your dad...
363
00:17:06,825 --> 00:17:08,125
Loves us?
364
00:17:08,126 --> 00:17:11,729
Yeah, that. You guys
know that, right?
365
00:17:11,730 --> 00:17:12,830
Sure.
366
00:17:12,831 --> 00:17:17,034
Dad, are you dying?
367
00:17:18,837 --> 00:17:21,839
Yes, but no one
seems to care.
368
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:23,573
So, but, I mean,
369
00:17:23,574 --> 00:17:25,776
It's not important
for you to hear, uh...
370
00:17:25,777 --> 00:17:27,244
That you love us?
371
00:17:27,245 --> 00:17:28,411
Yes.
372
00:17:28,412 --> 00:17:31,015
Hey, you'll tell us
when you're ready.
373
00:17:31,016 --> 00:17:33,583
Yeah. Besides, we think
it would make a nice moment
374
00:17:33,584 --> 00:17:34,752
For when you're
old and feeble.
375
00:17:39,223 --> 00:17:41,125
Thank you.
376
00:17:44,863 --> 00:17:47,330
I'd be getting ready
if I were you, bud.
377
00:17:47,331 --> 00:17:48,766
I'm not falling
for it, kel.
378
00:17:56,741 --> 00:18:00,243
Look, dad, I've got
a hot date coming.
379
00:18:00,244 --> 00:18:04,414
Get out.
380
00:18:04,415 --> 00:18:07,417
But the game's on.
381
00:18:07,418 --> 00:18:08,819
Dad...
382
00:18:08,820 --> 00:18:11,354
The way I see it,
if you left now,
383
00:18:11,355 --> 00:18:13,857
It would kind of be
like saying...
384
00:18:13,858 --> 00:18:16,060
You love me.
385
00:18:29,107 --> 00:18:31,274
So...How you doing?
386
00:18:33,644 --> 00:18:35,278
Aw, come on, peg.
387
00:18:35,279 --> 00:18:36,914
People shouldn't have to say it.
It's unnecessary.
388
00:18:36,915 --> 00:18:41,151
I haven't cheated on you.
I haven't asked for my own room.
389
00:18:41,152 --> 00:18:45,255
I stayed through two kids
and your hotpants phase.
390
00:18:45,256 --> 00:18:46,356
Doesn't that say it?
391
00:18:46,357 --> 00:18:48,291
No.
392
00:18:48,292 --> 00:18:52,830
Well, then...Could I have
my own room?
393
00:18:52,831 --> 00:18:53,831
No!
394
00:18:53,832 --> 00:18:55,866
Now, I want to hear it.
395
00:18:55,867 --> 00:18:56,867
Why?
396
00:18:56,868 --> 00:18:58,869
Because
it's nice to know.
397
00:18:58,870 --> 00:19:00,838
Now, I'll start.
I love you.
398
00:19:02,673 --> 00:19:05,342
Peg, this really makes
my stomach hurt.
399
00:19:05,343 --> 00:19:07,510
Well, then, you can
feel better real quick.
400
00:19:07,511 --> 00:19:08,545
Now, just say it.
401
00:19:10,248 --> 00:19:12,449
I...
402
00:19:12,450 --> 00:19:14,785
I have to go
to the bathroom.
403
00:19:23,928 --> 00:19:25,195
Thanks, kel.
404
00:19:25,196 --> 00:19:27,164
Real funny joke.
405
00:19:27,165 --> 00:19:31,902
April may June...
You're so immature.
406
00:19:31,903 --> 00:19:37,040
Well, I hope you like
the itching powder in your bra.
407
00:19:37,041 --> 00:19:40,010
[doorbell rings]
408
00:19:43,982 --> 00:19:46,884
Hi, bud. Did you get
my valentine?
409
00:19:46,885 --> 00:19:48,252
I'm April may June.
410
00:19:51,322 --> 00:19:54,057
Yes, yes,
I vaguely remember.
411
00:19:54,058 --> 00:19:56,126
Come in, come in.
412
00:20:03,467 --> 00:20:06,670
So...You have
quite an unusual name.
413
00:20:06,671 --> 00:20:08,538
How did you get it?
414
00:20:08,539 --> 00:20:11,541
My parents are idiots.
415
00:20:11,542 --> 00:20:13,310
We have
a lot in common.
416
00:20:13,311 --> 00:20:17,114
So you want me to be
your valentine, eh?
417
00:20:17,115 --> 00:20:19,149
Well, I saw you
around school,
418
00:20:19,150 --> 00:20:20,750
And I thought
you were kind of cute,
419
00:20:20,751 --> 00:20:22,619
But you never noticed me.
420
00:20:22,620 --> 00:20:24,054
You think I'm cute?
421
00:20:24,055 --> 00:20:25,689
Sure. All the girls do.
422
00:20:25,690 --> 00:20:28,325
Then why did I only get
one stinking valentine?
423
00:20:30,695 --> 00:20:33,163
Sorry.
I meant thank you.
424
00:20:34,866 --> 00:20:37,500
Why are you scratching?
425
00:20:37,501 --> 00:20:39,903
It's this darn bra.
426
00:20:41,572 --> 00:20:42,739
That's better.
427
00:20:42,740 --> 00:20:47,744
And don't you hate it
when they ride up on you?
428
00:20:50,248 --> 00:20:53,317
Now, don't pull that upset
stomach routine with me, al.
429
00:20:53,318 --> 00:20:56,320
Come out here and tell me
you love me.
430
00:20:56,321 --> 00:20:59,256
Are you going to tell me
or not?
431
00:21:03,261 --> 00:21:05,428
Okay, peg,
I'm going to say it...
432
00:21:05,429 --> 00:21:07,197
But before I say it,
433
00:21:07,198 --> 00:21:09,266
I want to tell you
I really hate you for this.
434
00:21:13,071 --> 00:21:16,073
I don't want to do it.
I'm unhappy.
435
00:21:16,074 --> 00:21:20,277
My stomach is boiling,
my palms are sweating,
436
00:21:20,278 --> 00:21:22,279
And if you think you're getting
a jump after this,
437
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,513
You're sadly mistaken.
438
00:21:25,416 --> 00:21:27,617
Of course, if you had
a brain in that huge head,
439
00:21:27,618 --> 00:21:29,119
You'd already know how I feel,
440
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:32,189
But you want to hear it, fine.
This is what you want.
441
00:21:32,190 --> 00:21:35,425
It's your stinking lousy
valentine's day present,
442
00:21:35,426 --> 00:21:38,661
So here it is...
443
00:21:38,662 --> 00:21:40,430
I love you.
444
00:21:47,671 --> 00:21:50,607
Oh, al!
445
00:21:50,608 --> 00:21:53,076
You didn't
have to say that.
446
00:21:57,815 --> 00:22:00,817
Gee, I only hope
that steve and
marcie
447
00:22:00,818 --> 00:22:03,820
Are as happy as
we are right now.
448
00:22:03,821 --> 00:22:05,822
Well, I don't know about steve,
449
00:22:05,823 --> 00:22:10,460
But, uh, marcie's having
the night of her life.
450
00:22:12,763 --> 00:22:16,566
Marcie:
♪ my funny valentine ♪
451
00:22:16,567 --> 00:22:20,137
♪ sweet comic valentine ♪
452
00:22:20,138 --> 00:22:23,840
♪ you make me smile... ♪
453
00:22:36,421 --> 00:22:38,588
[♪]
31547
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