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1
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♪ love and marriage ♪
2
00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:21,385
♪ love and marriage ♪
3
00:00:21,386 --> 00:00:24,756
♪ go together like
a horse and carriage ♪
4
00:00:24,757 --> 00:00:28,927
♪ this I tell ya, brother ♪
5
00:00:28,928 --> 00:00:30,829
♪ you can't have one ♪
6
00:00:30,830 --> 00:00:33,364
♪ without the other ♪
7
00:00:33,365 --> 00:00:35,466
♪ love and marriage ♪
8
00:00:35,467 --> 00:00:38,770
♪ love and marriage ♪
9
00:00:38,771 --> 00:00:42,807
♪ it's an institute
you can't disparage ♪
10
00:00:42,808 --> 00:00:46,544
♪ ask the local gentry ♪
11
00:00:46,545 --> 00:00:51,249
♪ and they will say
it's elementary ♪
12
00:00:51,250 --> 00:00:56,287
♪ try, try, try
to separate them ♪
13
00:00:56,288 --> 00:00:59,557
♪ it's an illusion ♪
14
00:00:59,558 --> 00:01:02,260
♪ try, try, try ♪
15
00:01:02,261 --> 00:01:08,066
♪ and you will only come
to this conclusion ♪
16
00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:10,468
♪ love and marriage ♪
17
00:01:22,314 --> 00:01:25,616
Well, al, I got all the food
out of the refrigerator.
18
00:01:25,617 --> 00:01:27,218
You know, honey,
19
00:01:27,219 --> 00:01:29,654
I think it was real nice of you
to take marcie's advice
20
00:01:29,655 --> 00:01:32,256
And hire a woman
to fix the refrigerator.
21
00:01:32,257 --> 00:01:35,459
I wish I could hire
somebody to fill it.
22
00:01:36,762 --> 00:01:38,797
Dream on, al.
23
00:01:38,798 --> 00:01:40,131
Well, since someone's
24
00:01:40,132 --> 00:01:43,234
Going to be doing
some work in the kitchen,
25
00:01:43,235 --> 00:01:45,103
I guess I'd better
go upstairs and rest.
26
00:01:54,947 --> 00:01:58,282
Well, I'm ready, mr. Bundy.
27
00:01:58,283 --> 00:01:59,650
Me too.
28
00:02:03,989 --> 00:02:06,557
Let me just
check out the wiring.
29
00:02:06,558 --> 00:02:07,959
Take your time.
30
00:02:09,795 --> 00:02:13,031
I'll just be looking
over your, uh...
31
00:02:13,032 --> 00:02:15,066
Shoulder.
32
00:02:16,368 --> 00:02:18,136
Look at this.
33
00:02:18,137 --> 00:02:21,139
Directions on how
to clean the oven.
34
00:02:21,140 --> 00:02:24,308
Still in its
original plastic.
35
00:02:24,309 --> 00:02:25,977
That's
the little woman's.
36
00:02:25,978 --> 00:02:28,512
I'll just go and put it up
in the attic with her iron.
37
00:02:30,482 --> 00:02:31,983
[doorbell chimes]
38
00:02:31,984 --> 00:02:34,485
Oh, excuse me.
Just keep looking.
39
00:02:37,689 --> 00:02:39,257
What's the emergency, al?
40
00:02:39,258 --> 00:02:41,126
It's in the kitchen.
41
00:02:48,267 --> 00:02:51,269
You brought me
all the way over here
42
00:02:51,270 --> 00:02:52,771
Just to see that?
43
00:02:52,772 --> 00:02:54,438
Uh-huh.
44
00:02:54,439 --> 00:02:57,075
Thanks, al.
45
00:02:57,076 --> 00:03:01,445
Oh, you know, al,
this brings back memories.
46
00:03:01,446 --> 00:03:05,784
I saw one of those
in college once.
47
00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:08,787
I used to jog
behind her for hours.
48
00:03:08,788 --> 00:03:12,791
I ran a marathon once
and didn't even know it.
49
00:03:12,792 --> 00:03:15,960
Ahh. You know her name?
50
00:03:15,961 --> 00:03:19,130
Yeah, but I'm
calling her heidi.
51
00:03:20,599 --> 00:03:21,699
You know, al,
52
00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:23,501
I feel kind of
like a pig,
53
00:03:23,502 --> 00:03:26,404
Standing here,
enjoying myself,
54
00:03:26,405 --> 00:03:27,638
Staring at a poor,
unsuspecting woman
55
00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:29,507
As if she were nothing
but a piece of meat.
56
00:03:31,677 --> 00:03:33,477
Look, al, she's moving.
57
00:03:36,982 --> 00:03:38,416
Yeah, looks like
two little kittens
58
00:03:38,417 --> 00:03:40,551
Playing gently
under some denim.
59
00:03:46,859 --> 00:03:51,296
I think it looks
more like an apple, al.
60
00:03:51,297 --> 00:03:53,298
What kind
of apple, steve?
61
00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:58,036
A little red one.
62
00:03:58,037 --> 00:04:01,539
You know how they are
just before you pick--
63
00:04:04,176 --> 00:04:06,377
You're a pig, al.
64
00:04:06,378 --> 00:04:07,611
Oh, hello, marcie.
65
00:04:07,612 --> 00:04:09,413
Well, I got to go
back to the shop
66
00:04:09,414 --> 00:04:10,481
And get some more tools.
67
00:04:10,482 --> 00:04:12,083
Hurry back.
68
00:04:13,819 --> 00:04:17,121
This is why you left
the pbs pledge drive?
69
00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:23,761
Well, this is something
like masterpiece theatre.
70
00:04:23,762 --> 00:04:26,030
I can't believe it.
71
00:04:26,031 --> 00:04:27,932
You're as bad as al.
72
00:04:27,933 --> 00:04:29,567
You're worse than al.
73
00:04:29,568 --> 00:04:31,669
He's nothing but
a neanderthal sexist,
74
00:04:31,670 --> 00:04:33,137
But at least
he doesn't hide it.
75
00:04:33,138 --> 00:04:34,339
Hide it?
76
00:04:34,340 --> 00:04:38,142
I got a t-shirt
that says it.
77
00:04:38,143 --> 00:04:41,012
I never thought
I would say this,
78
00:04:41,013 --> 00:04:44,015
But steven rhoades,
under that sensitive,
caring facade,
79
00:04:44,016 --> 00:04:45,683
You're nothing but a...
80
00:04:45,684 --> 00:04:46,918
A man!
81
00:04:46,919 --> 00:04:47,952
That's not true.
82
00:04:51,590 --> 00:04:53,291
Oh, hi there,
marcie.
83
00:04:53,292 --> 00:04:55,426
Peggy, do you know
what is going on
84
00:04:55,427 --> 00:04:56,794
Underneath your very own roof?
85
00:04:56,795 --> 00:04:59,297
Well, we're rotting
our lives away,
86
00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:01,933
But the kids
seem to enjoy it.
87
00:05:01,934 --> 00:05:03,467
Not that.
88
00:05:03,468 --> 00:05:06,804
Our husbands have been
ogling the repair girl.
89
00:05:06,805 --> 00:05:08,206
That's repair woman.
90
00:05:08,207 --> 00:05:11,475
Oh, marcie, calm
down.
91
00:05:11,476 --> 00:05:13,945
Men will look
at anything.
92
00:05:21,653 --> 00:05:24,655
By the way, marce,
what are you doing tonight?
93
00:05:24,656 --> 00:05:26,157
I don't know.
94
00:05:26,158 --> 00:05:28,626
Steve and I were going
to go to a fund raiser
95
00:05:28,627 --> 00:05:30,661
For my women's group,
but since I think
96
00:05:30,662 --> 00:05:32,096
He'd be spending
the whole evening
97
00:05:32,097 --> 00:05:33,531
Looking up
the toastmaster's dress...
98
00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:36,667
I guess free tonight.
99
00:05:36,668 --> 00:05:38,169
Was it going to be
formal, steve?
100
00:05:38,170 --> 00:05:40,171
You know, a bunch
of 300-pound women
101
00:05:40,172 --> 00:05:42,673
In crew cuts
and flannel shirts?
102
00:05:42,674 --> 00:05:45,376
Well, actually,
some wear tweed.
103
00:05:45,377 --> 00:05:47,178
Keep it up, steven.
104
00:05:47,179 --> 00:05:52,016
Just slide down
that evolutionary scale.
105
00:05:52,017 --> 00:05:53,617
Yes, peg, I believe
I'm free tonight.
106
00:05:53,618 --> 00:05:55,553
What did you
have planned?
107
00:05:55,554 --> 00:05:57,555
Well, why don't you
come over tonight?
108
00:05:57,556 --> 00:05:59,190
Some of the neighborhood
girls are dropping by.
109
00:05:59,191 --> 00:06:01,426
Sounds like fun.
I'll bring a cake.
110
00:06:01,427 --> 00:06:02,860
If there's
going to be a cake,
111
00:06:02,861 --> 00:06:04,462
You'd better watch
your fingers setting it out.
112
00:06:04,463 --> 00:06:06,464
One of the girls
has been known
113
00:06:06,465 --> 00:06:09,533
To debone a chicken
from across the room.
114
00:06:09,534 --> 00:06:14,205
It wasn't from
across the room, al.
115
00:06:14,206 --> 00:06:16,307
I'll be here.
116
00:06:16,308 --> 00:06:19,143
Steve, I'm going home now.
117
00:06:19,144 --> 00:06:20,711
You...
118
00:06:20,712 --> 00:06:23,647
You can put little mirrors
on your shoes
119
00:06:23,648 --> 00:06:26,484
And go downtown
for secretary lunchtime.
120
00:06:26,485 --> 00:06:28,819
Marce, come on,
so I stared at a hiney.
121
00:06:28,820 --> 00:06:32,190
Does that
make me a bad guy?
122
00:06:32,191 --> 00:06:35,326
So, uh, al...
123
00:06:35,327 --> 00:06:37,661
You were staring
at that girl too, huh?
124
00:06:37,662 --> 00:06:40,164
Yeah.
125
00:06:40,165 --> 00:06:42,633
I bet she had
great legs.
126
00:06:42,634 --> 00:06:44,335
Yeah.
127
00:06:44,336 --> 00:06:45,669
Good breasts?
128
00:06:45,670 --> 00:06:47,338
Oh, yeah.
129
00:06:47,339 --> 00:06:49,173
You want
to go upstairs?
130
00:06:49,174 --> 00:06:52,943
Yeah.
131
00:06:52,944 --> 00:06:55,480
Wait a minute. With you?
132
00:06:58,050 --> 00:06:59,917
Oh, yeah.
133
00:07:06,758 --> 00:07:10,395
Isn't there
any more cake?
134
00:07:10,396 --> 00:07:14,732
Oh, sorry about
your finger, marcie.
135
00:07:14,733 --> 00:07:19,270
That's okay.
It's only a flesh wound.
136
00:07:19,271 --> 00:07:20,804
I can't believe
your husbands
137
00:07:20,805 --> 00:07:24,142
Were staring
at that poor girl.
138
00:07:24,143 --> 00:07:27,111
You know, because
of men like that,
139
00:07:27,112 --> 00:07:29,447
I don't even
wear shorts anymore.
140
00:07:29,448 --> 00:07:32,483
You're sure it wasn't
because of the guys
141
00:07:32,484 --> 00:07:35,086
With the harpoons?
142
00:07:37,656 --> 00:07:40,824
Must he be here?
143
00:07:40,825 --> 00:07:42,793
We had sex today.
144
00:07:42,794 --> 00:07:44,995
Ohh.
Ohh.
Ohh.
145
00:07:44,996 --> 00:07:46,097
[doorbell chimes]
146
00:07:46,098 --> 00:07:49,467
That must be
the beef people.
147
00:07:54,339 --> 00:07:56,207
Is that the other pig?
148
00:07:56,208 --> 00:07:57,075
It is.
149
00:07:58,910 --> 00:08:00,445
Don't challenge
them, steve.
150
00:08:00,446 --> 00:08:03,448
I've seen them
send stronger men than you
151
00:08:03,449 --> 00:08:06,117
Screaming to their graves.
152
00:08:06,118 --> 00:08:09,753
Anyway, marce,
I brought you flowers.
153
00:08:09,754 --> 00:08:12,790
Gee, al, how come
you never bring me flowers?
154
00:08:12,791 --> 00:08:14,425
We had sex today.
155
00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:17,795
Well, I know,
but something
156
00:08:17,796 --> 00:08:21,966
I could enjoy
would be nice.
157
00:08:21,967 --> 00:08:23,968
I'll remember that
next month
158
00:08:23,969 --> 00:08:25,803
When you come begging.
159
00:08:25,804 --> 00:08:27,938
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
160
00:08:30,275 --> 00:08:33,611
Marcie, can I just
talk to you for a second?
161
00:08:33,612 --> 00:08:34,979
Steve, please.
162
00:08:34,980 --> 00:08:38,316
I'm talking
with my new friends.
163
00:08:38,317 --> 00:08:43,287
Marcie, he's undressing me
with his eyes.
164
00:08:43,288 --> 00:08:46,457
Madam, that
would take years.
165
00:08:49,561 --> 00:08:52,497
Well, I'm tired of
sitting around the house.
166
00:08:52,498 --> 00:08:54,332
I do that all day long.
167
00:08:54,333 --> 00:08:55,733
Why don't we
go out tonight?
168
00:08:55,734 --> 00:08:58,136
Someplace fun.
169
00:08:58,137 --> 00:09:00,505
Okay, girls,
I've got it.
170
00:09:00,506 --> 00:09:02,573
Let's go to troy's.
171
00:09:04,042 --> 00:09:05,209
That's a good idea!
172
00:09:05,210 --> 00:09:07,678
I've been there.
173
00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:09,347
That sounds like fun.
174
00:09:09,348 --> 00:09:10,214
What's troy's?
175
00:09:13,818 --> 00:09:15,919
[women howling]
176
00:09:45,950 --> 00:09:48,919
Peggy, this is
a strip joint.
177
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:49,920
Oh, really?
178
00:09:49,921 --> 00:09:51,155
Gee, I didn't know.
179
00:09:51,156 --> 00:09:53,491
You know, I've passed by
dozens of times,
180
00:09:53,492 --> 00:09:55,859
But I've never
actually been in.
181
00:09:55,860 --> 00:09:59,664
Oh, hi, mrs. Bundy.
182
00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:03,534
Hey, mrs. Bundy,
what's going on?
183
00:10:03,535 --> 00:10:06,504
How you doing,
big red?
184
00:10:06,505 --> 00:10:09,674
Ok, so I've
been here... Once.
185
00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:11,842
Usual table,
mrs. Bundy?
186
00:10:11,843 --> 00:10:12,976
But I tipped well.
187
00:10:30,161 --> 00:10:33,097
Peggy, I can't believe
we're actually here.
188
00:10:33,098 --> 00:10:35,266
Does al approve of you
coming to places like this?
189
00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:37,268
Well, he's got
mixed feelings.
190
00:10:37,269 --> 00:10:39,370
Actually,
he doesn't know.
191
00:10:40,639 --> 00:10:42,005
Good evening, ladies.
Mrs. Bundy.
192
00:10:42,006 --> 00:10:44,007
Can I get you anything?
193
00:10:44,008 --> 00:10:47,211
Yes. We'll have
five of the usual.
194
00:10:47,212 --> 00:10:49,813
Five strawberry fanny bangers
coming right up.
195
00:10:51,916 --> 00:10:54,017
[women moaning]
196
00:10:59,258 --> 00:11:02,526
Peggy, I'm feeling
a little uncomfortable here.
197
00:11:02,527 --> 00:11:03,894
Oh, that's okay, marcie.
198
00:11:03,895 --> 00:11:06,597
It always takes me a while
to warm up too.
199
00:11:06,598 --> 00:11:07,465
Gang way!
200
00:11:25,116 --> 00:11:26,049
Look at it, steve.
201
00:11:34,225 --> 00:11:35,526
It's like two rhinos
202
00:11:35,527 --> 00:11:37,495
Gently playing
under a tarp.
203
00:11:38,830 --> 00:11:40,831
Well, mr. Bundy,
204
00:11:40,832 --> 00:11:42,900
I don't know who worked on
this baby before me,
205
00:11:42,901 --> 00:11:45,135
But they sure didn't know
what they were doing.
206
00:11:46,405 --> 00:11:48,639
She knew what
she was doing.
207
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:49,640
Just goes to show you,
208
00:11:49,641 --> 00:11:51,074
You want something
fixed right,
209
00:11:51,075 --> 00:11:52,943
Hire an ugly man.
210
00:11:54,846 --> 00:11:57,648
You have
my utmost confidence.
211
00:11:57,649 --> 00:11:59,216
You know, steve, 16 years ago,
212
00:11:59,217 --> 00:12:02,219
Peg's father
came to me and said,
213
00:12:02,220 --> 00:12:04,021
"here, take it.
From me to you, it's yours.
214
00:12:04,022 --> 00:12:05,222
It's hardly been used."
215
00:12:05,223 --> 00:12:07,991
I should have known
there was something up.
216
00:12:07,992 --> 00:12:09,993
Come to think of it,
217
00:12:09,994 --> 00:12:12,496
He sold me
that refrigerator too.
218
00:12:12,497 --> 00:12:15,499
Where do you think
the girls went, al?
219
00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:18,268
To a nice place. Away.
220
00:12:18,269 --> 00:12:20,037
This is the first time
she's walked out
221
00:12:20,038 --> 00:12:21,839
Without giving me
a chance to explain.
222
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,342
Well, what were you
going to explain, steve?
223
00:12:24,343 --> 00:12:26,344
It's simple, al,
I was going to explain
224
00:12:26,345 --> 00:12:28,779
That while it might have
appeared we were looking
225
00:12:28,780 --> 00:12:31,349
At that girl's rear end,
226
00:12:31,350 --> 00:12:34,284
So admirably hoisted
in the air before us,
227
00:12:34,285 --> 00:12:36,286
What I was
actually doing
228
00:12:36,287 --> 00:12:39,289
Was looking
with admiration
229
00:12:39,290 --> 00:12:42,292
As I pondered how far
women have come
230
00:12:42,293 --> 00:12:46,063
In the last hundred,
nay, 50 years.
231
00:12:46,064 --> 00:12:49,667
Yeah, but she did
have a nice one, huh?
232
00:12:49,668 --> 00:12:50,968
You betcha.
233
00:12:50,969 --> 00:12:53,937
But I still feel
like a hypocrite.
234
00:12:53,938 --> 00:12:56,874
I mean, I give money
to women's causes.
235
00:12:56,875 --> 00:12:59,510
Look, steve, it's good
for women to be gone
236
00:12:59,511 --> 00:13:00,811
When they're mad at you.
237
00:13:00,812 --> 00:13:02,279
It's good for women
to be gone,
238
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,715
But especially
when they're mad at you.
239
00:13:04,716 --> 00:13:05,716
Because they go out there,
240
00:13:05,717 --> 00:13:07,084
They see
what's available,
241
00:13:07,085 --> 00:13:09,453
You know, those fat,
bald-headed little twerps
242
00:13:09,454 --> 00:13:11,489
That have no idea
how lucky they are
243
00:13:11,490 --> 00:13:12,823
That they can't
get a woman,
244
00:13:12,824 --> 00:13:15,225
And they come crawling
back to you, thankful,
245
00:13:15,226 --> 00:13:17,695
Knowing that there's no way
they can do better than us.
246
00:13:17,696 --> 00:13:19,363
See, let's face it,
247
00:13:19,364 --> 00:13:20,831
You don't go fishing
for minnows
248
00:13:20,832 --> 00:13:23,868
When you've got
moby dick at home.
249
00:13:31,843 --> 00:13:36,447
All that knowledge,
and you sell shoes.
250
00:13:36,448 --> 00:13:38,181
Hey, michelangelo
was just a painter,
251
00:13:38,182 --> 00:13:39,249
But he did
other stuff too.
252
00:13:43,522 --> 00:13:47,157
Well, al, this may come
as a shock to you,
253
00:13:47,158 --> 00:13:48,158
But I love my wife.
254
00:13:48,159 --> 00:13:49,560
I like being with her,
255
00:13:49,561 --> 00:13:51,462
And I'm not happy
when she's mad at me.
256
00:13:51,463 --> 00:13:54,532
So I'm going to find out
where this troy's is,
257
00:13:54,533 --> 00:13:55,999
And I'm going to go
and apologize.
258
00:13:57,469 --> 00:14:00,404
Hey, hot tub girls is on.
259
00:14:02,908 --> 00:14:04,141
I don't care, al.
260
00:14:04,142 --> 00:14:05,208
I'm going to go apologize.
261
00:14:10,081 --> 00:14:11,315
See, al, it's time
262
00:14:11,316 --> 00:14:13,584
You joined
the 20th century.
263
00:14:13,585 --> 00:14:16,587
Appreciate women for
what they have up here,
264
00:14:16,588 --> 00:14:18,756
Not for...
Ho, they're huge.
265
00:14:25,363 --> 00:14:26,864
What are you doing?
266
00:14:26,865 --> 00:14:28,999
Hi, bud.
Hi, dad.
267
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,168
I just wanted to talk to you
about something.
268
00:14:31,169 --> 00:14:33,103
Put a fire under it.
269
00:14:33,104 --> 00:14:36,774
Daddy's trying
to help steve.
270
00:14:36,775 --> 00:14:38,709
It's about me and kelly
271
00:14:38,710 --> 00:14:40,143
Having to go
to grandma's this weekend.
272
00:14:40,144 --> 00:14:41,479
What about it?
273
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:44,782
Why are we being punished?
274
00:14:44,783 --> 00:14:46,283
Why am I?
275
00:14:46,284 --> 00:14:48,285
Why are any of us?
276
00:14:48,286 --> 00:14:51,722
Are we done, bud?
277
00:14:51,723 --> 00:14:53,457
No, dad.
278
00:14:53,458 --> 00:14:55,960
Look, grandma's
real nice and all,
279
00:14:55,961 --> 00:14:57,461
But that said,
280
00:14:57,462 --> 00:15:00,464
She smells.
281
00:15:00,465 --> 00:15:03,166
And she makes me
dance with her.
282
00:15:03,167 --> 00:15:05,536
Oh, bud, do what I do.
283
00:15:05,537 --> 00:15:08,472
Ride on her feet.
284
00:15:08,473 --> 00:15:09,974
Please, dad, send kelly.
285
00:15:09,975 --> 00:15:11,475
She's used to dancing
286
00:15:11,476 --> 00:15:13,477
With smelly, old people
for money.
287
00:15:13,478 --> 00:15:16,547
Let me tell you something
about grandparents, son.
288
00:15:16,548 --> 00:15:19,049
They're your roots.
They're your heritage.
289
00:15:19,050 --> 00:15:22,052
And they're not going
to be around forever.
290
00:15:22,053 --> 00:15:25,055
But they do own
some lakefront property.
291
00:15:25,056 --> 00:15:26,490
You get my drift, son?
292
00:15:26,491 --> 00:15:27,892
Thanks, dad.
293
00:15:27,893 --> 00:15:30,427
You're welcome.
294
00:15:30,428 --> 00:15:34,498
So... That's what they mean
by quality time?
295
00:15:34,499 --> 00:15:37,835
No, steve. This is.
296
00:15:37,836 --> 00:15:40,237
Mr. Bundy, can I use
your bathroom?
297
00:15:44,275 --> 00:15:47,845
Uh... No.
298
00:15:47,846 --> 00:15:50,848
Well, then I'm
just about done then.
299
00:15:50,849 --> 00:15:53,918
Did I just hear
a car pull up?
300
00:15:53,919 --> 00:15:55,419
What's wrong with you?
301
00:15:55,420 --> 00:15:57,220
You've got to be
the only guy in america
302
00:15:57,221 --> 00:16:00,057
Who actually
wants his wife to come home.
303
00:16:00,058 --> 00:16:02,693
Many's a night
I sit here,
304
00:16:02,694 --> 00:16:04,695
Looking across
at my wife,
305
00:16:04,696 --> 00:16:07,031
As she's sitting over there,
much like you are,
306
00:16:07,032 --> 00:16:08,632
And I look at her,
and I think...
307
00:16:08,633 --> 00:16:10,333
Go home.
308
00:16:14,305 --> 00:16:16,306
Then the horror hits me,
309
00:16:16,307 --> 00:16:18,308
Because it dawns on me...
310
00:16:18,309 --> 00:16:21,311
She is home.
311
00:16:21,312 --> 00:16:24,548
Now look what you've done.
You've depressed me.
312
00:16:25,850 --> 00:16:27,651
Ooh.
313
00:16:27,652 --> 00:16:29,152
Daddy.
314
00:16:29,153 --> 00:16:30,654
It's like they know.
315
00:16:30,655 --> 00:16:32,355
What is it, honey?
316
00:16:32,356 --> 00:16:33,624
What's this about bud
saying
317
00:16:33,625 --> 00:16:35,292
That only I have to go
to grandma's?
318
00:16:35,293 --> 00:16:36,994
You're both going.
319
00:16:36,995 --> 00:16:39,930
Oh, come on, dad.
It's just a waste of my time.
320
00:16:39,931 --> 00:16:42,933
She can't even
tell us apart anyhow.
321
00:16:42,934 --> 00:16:44,434
She's always telling bud
322
00:16:44,435 --> 00:16:47,437
What a fine woman
he's growing into.
323
00:16:47,438 --> 00:16:50,908
Then she sends me
out to chop wood.
324
00:16:50,909 --> 00:16:52,977
They want to see you,
325
00:16:52,978 --> 00:16:55,980
And if you don't go to them,
they'll come here,
326
00:16:55,981 --> 00:16:58,616
And we can't afford
to reglaze the bathtub.
327
00:16:58,617 --> 00:16:59,617
Go on upstairs and pack.
328
00:16:59,618 --> 00:17:01,018
Fine. But this time,
329
00:17:01,019 --> 00:17:04,021
Bud can help her
cross her legs
330
00:17:04,022 --> 00:17:05,889
Because I want to have
children some day.
331
00:17:09,961 --> 00:17:11,962
Al, you've got a...
332
00:17:11,963 --> 00:17:13,530
Lovely daughter.
333
00:17:13,531 --> 00:17:15,532
Let me ask you this.
334
00:17:15,533 --> 00:17:17,034
When she grows up,
335
00:17:17,035 --> 00:17:20,037
Don't you want her
to be appreciated
336
00:17:20,038 --> 00:17:21,571
For more than just
her physical beauty?
337
00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:25,709
Well, let's see, steve,
how can I answer that?
338
00:17:25,710 --> 00:17:26,977
Well, let's see.
339
00:17:26,978 --> 00:17:29,479
Kelly, honey, come on
down here a second.
340
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:30,814
Come here a minute, sweetheart.
341
00:17:30,815 --> 00:17:33,817
I want you to tell
uncle steve
342
00:17:33,818 --> 00:17:35,753
What your
guidance counselor said
343
00:17:35,754 --> 00:17:38,756
What career you'd be
best suited for.
344
00:17:38,757 --> 00:17:42,559
Lumber camp toy
or the other woman.
345
00:17:47,766 --> 00:17:50,500
Thank you, sweetheart.
346
00:17:50,501 --> 00:17:52,069
You were saying, steve?
347
00:17:54,472 --> 00:17:55,472
Well, mr. Bundy,
she's working.
348
00:17:55,473 --> 00:17:56,940
No, she's not.
349
00:17:56,941 --> 00:17:58,942
She's out
with the girls.
350
00:17:58,943 --> 00:18:00,944
How much do I owe you?
351
00:18:00,945 --> 00:18:02,112
80 bucks.
352
00:18:02,113 --> 00:18:06,616
$80 to fix
a big, hulking thing
that won't work,
353
00:18:06,617 --> 00:18:07,885
And $20 to marry one.
354
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:11,121
Wait a second.
355
00:18:11,122 --> 00:18:13,724
This is where
I hide my money.
356
00:18:13,725 --> 00:18:16,326
Where did my money go?
357
00:18:44,322 --> 00:18:47,825
They keep it awfully
hot in here, don't they?
358
00:18:47,826 --> 00:18:51,628
Peggy, you just put a dollar
down that man's pants. Why?
359
00:18:51,629 --> 00:18:54,898
Because my checkbook
makes him walk funny.
360
00:18:58,369 --> 00:19:00,503
How long are we
going to be here?
361
00:19:00,504 --> 00:19:05,308
Not long. Just long
enough to spend this.
362
00:19:14,886 --> 00:19:17,020
Oh, my god!
363
00:19:30,802 --> 00:19:33,804
All right. That was
our construction worker.
364
00:19:33,805 --> 00:19:36,006
He's got a tool
for every occasion.
365
00:19:39,244 --> 00:19:41,378
I think I should be going.
366
00:19:41,379 --> 00:19:42,545
And now, ladies,
367
00:19:42,546 --> 00:19:44,948
Let's give
a big troy's welcome
368
00:19:44,949 --> 00:19:46,449
For our latin lover...
369
00:19:46,450 --> 00:19:48,585
El zorro!
370
00:19:48,586 --> 00:19:51,922
Hola, muchacho!
371
00:20:57,856 --> 00:20:59,857
Marcie, tip him.
372
00:20:59,858 --> 00:21:02,359
Go on! Go on!
Tip him! Tip him!
373
00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:05,528
I'm not putting money
down a man's pants.
374
00:21:05,529 --> 00:21:06,997
It's dirty...
375
00:21:06,998 --> 00:21:08,232
It's immoral...
376
00:21:08,233 --> 00:21:10,100
It's degrading.
377
00:21:13,537 --> 00:21:15,305
Dollars! Dollars!
378
00:21:15,306 --> 00:21:16,874
Give me more dollars!
379
00:21:16,875 --> 00:21:18,508
Marcie, calm down!
380
00:21:18,509 --> 00:21:21,278
Zorro doesn't come back
unless you give him dollars.
381
00:21:25,950 --> 00:21:27,617
Hey, zorro!
382
00:21:27,618 --> 00:21:30,320
Bump it back this way, honey!
383
00:21:32,623 --> 00:21:33,991
That a boy!
384
00:21:53,244 --> 00:21:55,812
It's always
the quiet ones.
385
00:21:57,648 --> 00:22:01,218
♪ you'd better
hold on to me... ♪
386
00:22:01,219 --> 00:22:02,452
[woman moaning]
387
00:22:21,739 --> 00:22:24,341
My wedding ring!
It's gone!
388
00:22:24,342 --> 00:22:26,509
Peggy, I've lost
my wedding ring
389
00:22:26,510 --> 00:22:27,477
Down zorro's pants!
26738
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