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[Classical music playing]
2
00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:05,170
[Laughter]
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00:00:05,171 --> 00:00:08,167
Mayor Dilquez: Thank you
for being my plus-one.
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00:00:08,168 --> 00:00:10,938
My regular shaman is full-time
with Aaron Rodgers now.
5
00:00:11,079 --> 00:00:13,839
Do you have something
for public speaking?
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00:00:14,082 --> 00:00:15,915
Shaman: Be careful.
7
00:00:16,084 --> 00:00:18,677
Even a microdose of this could-
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00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:19,970
[Bottle breaks]
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00:00:20,088 --> 00:00:21,138
Man: There he is-
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00:00:21,181 --> 00:00:23,348
our soon-to-be re-elected mayor.
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00:00:23,500 --> 00:00:26,334
Mayor Dilquez: Mr. and Mrs.
Volcanowitz, my top donors.
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00:00:26,428 --> 00:00:28,503
You look wealthier than ever.
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00:00:28,504 --> 00:00:30,748
Mr. Volcanowitz: Everyone is so
excited to help you defeat that
14
00:00:30,749 --> 00:00:33,579
talking goose running
against you, especially Mother.
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00:00:33,580 --> 00:00:36,254
Mrs. Volcanowitz: Is it true
you're dropping a new diss track
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00:00:36,255 --> 00:00:37,754
about the Goose tonight?
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00:00:37,755 --> 00:00:41,034
Mayor Dilquez: Someone's been
reading "WorldstarPolitics."
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00:00:41,035 --> 00:00:44,277
Ha ha!
[Mr. Volcanowitz laughs]
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00:00:44,371 --> 00:00:45,811
Mayor Dilquez: See? I'm fine.
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00:00:45,931 --> 00:00:50,433
[Series of different chords
and noises plays rapidly]
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[Microphone feedback,
person coughs]
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00:00:54,623 --> 00:00:58,199
Mayor Dilquez: ? Yo, Goose,
is it true you go young? ?
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00:00:58,218 --> 00:01:01,636
? I heard that cryin' goslings
are the only way you'll- ?
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00:01:05,450 --> 00:01:07,726
[Guests scream]
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00:01:07,895 --> 00:01:10,062
Mayor Dilquez:
Not a fan of hip-hop?
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00:01:11,548 --> 00:01:13,139
[Theme music playing]
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?
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[Crack]
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Martinez: And that is why
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the clown car limit is
now 30 people.
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Goodbye Bongo, Honko, Bazinko,
Winky, and Leonard.
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May their hilarious souls
rest in peace.
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00:01:41,503 --> 00:01:42,594
[Honk honk]
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And, lastly, we have
a new detective
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joining the department today.
Any questions? No. Good.
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Dismissed.
[Flute, Summers, Wynona gasp]
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Flute: You can't drop
a bomb like that and leave.
38
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This isn't the bank across
the street's family bathroom.
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Who is it?
Martinez: Don't know.
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Haven't met him.
Wynona: I hope he's hot.
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00:01:54,850 --> 00:01:56,334
Summers: Yeah,
I hope he's super-hot.
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[Chuckles weakly]
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Martinez: Well, as a favor,
the mayor asked
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if I would hire the son of his
top donor, the Volcanowitzes.
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00:02:02,564 --> 00:02:04,433
Flute: The new guy is
a Volcanowitz?
46
00:02:04,434 --> 00:02:05,526
Summers: A Volcano-whatz?
47
00:02:05,527 --> 00:02:07,511
Wynona: The Volcanowitzes
are, like,
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the richest people in Grimsburg.
They own the volcano.
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00:02:09,272 --> 00:02:10,623
Announcer: Do you have
large furniture
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you no longer want? Volcano!
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Don't know what to do
with all those old rollerblades?
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Volcano!
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Have a hard drive you claim
someone else filled
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00:02:19,282 --> 00:02:22,617
with a bunch of
"weird stuff"? Volcano!
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00:02:22,636 --> 00:02:23,860
?
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Kang: All right.
That hot volcano is
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why we have so many cold cases.
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Criminals keep dumping
evidence in there, and they
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refuse to do
anything to stop it,
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not to mention the extremely
high number of suicides,
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but that's God's problem.
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00:02:36,482 --> 00:02:38,634
Flute: Our problem is
some nepo-baby thinks he
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can jump the line because
his parents are rich.
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Wynona: As the youngest person
in the office,
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I hate nepo-babies
because they're
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taking my generation's jobs.
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00:02:45,641 --> 00:02:47,994
But as the poorest person
in the office, I would love
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00:02:47,995 --> 00:02:51,388
to marry into wealth,
so I gotta go change.
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Martinez:
He's not just some noob.
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00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:55,983
I hear he has his own P.I.
business with a 100% solve rate.
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00:02:56,152 --> 00:02:58,745
Plus, the mayor has been
very good to us, so I feel
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00:02:58,746 --> 00:03:00,506
that we should give
his guy a shot.
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Kang: And...?
Martinez: And he promised that
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he'd make me commissioner.
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?
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Flute: You hired
someone older than Kang?
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Man: Oh, no.
I work for the Volcanowitzes.
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I'm here to drop him off.
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Otis: Otis Volcanowitz-
kid detective
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reporting for duty.
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What time is snack at,
and when do I get my gun?
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[Slurping]
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?
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[Sneezes]
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[Sneezes, gasps]
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Woman: You're sick.
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Harmony: I'm not the one
who steals my panties, Steve-
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00:03:36,210 --> 00:03:38,693
Ugh. Sorry, Marrissaa.
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My ears are clogged
and you sounded like my stalker.
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[Sneezes]
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Marrissaa: Aw,
you should go home and rest.
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Harmony: I can't go home.
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I'm covering the opening of
the new Lazer Drag arena,
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and it's the first non-murder
story I've gotten in months.
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Marrissaa: Ay, but if
you stick around, you might be
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the murder story.
You don't want
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00:03:55,469 --> 00:03:57,471
to kill Immunocompromised Gabe
the weatherman.
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00:03:57,472 --> 00:04:00,398
Gabe: ...and a high of 67
means a beautiful day
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for those of you who
aren't allergic to sunshine.
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00:04:05,221 --> 00:04:08,556
Why do you hate me, God?
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Harmony: Maybe you're right.
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Just promise me you
won't let anyone take my story.
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Marrissaa:
Over my dead perfect body.
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Harmony: Thanks.
You're a good friend.
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Oh, but don't eat the dip.
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Otis: And once I realized
our gardener was
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actually a top architect in
his home country, I deduced he
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00:04:24,666 --> 00:04:26,817
must have used the blueprints
from our house to sneak in.
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And that's how I solved
the case of the stolen lizard.
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Now for the case of the
missing muffin, I'll tell you
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our maid did it first
and then explain how I knew,
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"Poker Face" style.
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Flute: Can't believe
this nepo-baby thinks he
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can just buy his badge.
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I mean, we all had to buy
our badges due to budget cuts,
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00:04:40,849 --> 00:04:42,591
but that was after we attended
the police academy,
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passed a field test,
and trained our bodies
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00:04:44,352 --> 00:04:46,461
to digest pastrami
as a vegetable.
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Wynona:
Welcome to the department,
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Officer Volcanowitz.
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Kang: Wrong one.
Volcanowitz is the kid.
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Wynona: So I put on this dead
debutante's dress for nothing?
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Kang: You should be happy.
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You're not the youngest person
working here anymore.
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00:05:01,202 --> 00:05:02,944
Wynona: Yeah,
but if I'm not the youngest...
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00:05:02,945 --> 00:05:04,445
then what am I?
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00:05:04,464 --> 00:05:06,454
Otis: You're trouble
with a capital T,
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00:05:06,455 --> 00:05:08,709
which I can write in cursive
if you give me lined paper.
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Let me get your digits
in my super expensive SAT phone
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my folks gave me
for my half-birthday.
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00:05:12,972 --> 00:05:14,715
Wynona: They bought you
a satellite phone?
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Otis: They actually
bought me the company.
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00:05:16,887 --> 00:05:18,627
[Wynona scoffs]
Otis: What's her story?
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00:05:18,628 --> 00:05:21,721
Summers: She's taken!
Taken dance lessons.
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00:05:21,873 --> 00:05:24,374
Otis: I can tell.
Look at the legs on that one.
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I could put my feet
on her feet and walk around
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like Frankenstein for days.
138
00:05:28,380 --> 00:05:30,380
Kang:
Who touched the thermostat?
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Otis: It's freezing in here.
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00:05:31,991 --> 00:05:33,734
Maybe don't wear
a sleeping bag inside.
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00:05:33,735 --> 00:05:35,736
Martinez: Come on.
Let's go get you that gun.
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Otis: I really need
one with a grenade launcher.
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Thank you so much.
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00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:41,241
Flute, Kang, Wynona:
That kid has to go.
145
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Summers: That kid has to die.
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"Go." I said, "Go."
147
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?
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00:05:47,232 --> 00:05:48,731
[Thermometer beeps]
149
00:05:48,732 --> 00:05:51,326
Harmony: Ugh! You know,
you're the one who got me sick.
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00:05:51,327 --> 00:05:55,071
Why did you have to lick every
elevator button in the ICU?
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00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,331
Stan: It wasn't my idea.
I was dared.
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Harmony: By who? Mr. Flesh?
Ohh. I have had enough.
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You need real friends,
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00:06:02,671 --> 00:06:05,006
so I signed you up
for the beach dirty-up today
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00:06:05,007 --> 00:06:07,584
without your imaginary friend.
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00:06:07,677 --> 00:06:09,135
Mr. Flesh: You blondster!
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Stan: [Sighs] OK.
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Harmony: Great. That's settled.
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Mr. Flesh: It's fine.
I hate the beach anyway.
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Everyone's so jelly
of my thigh gap.
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?
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Flute: We demand you fire Otis.
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00:06:21,616 --> 00:06:23,766
He keeps saying "Pew!"
when he pretends
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to shoot his gun.
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Everyone knows the right
noise is...Pow!
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Pkkk, pkkk, pkkk, pkkk.
[Imitates richochet noise]
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Martinez: No chance.
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That little nepo-baby is
my ticket to the big time.
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Too Captain Crunch-y
for the Commish?
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00:06:35,797 --> 00:06:37,614
I need a mirror.
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00:06:37,632 --> 00:06:40,725
Kang: Ugh. Picked the wrong day
to wear my under-puffer. Huh.
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00:06:40,726 --> 00:06:42,970
Wynona: These snowflakes
are jeopardizing
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everything we stand for.
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I own a gun now?
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Flute: Maybe she doesn't
have to fire him.
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We just have to get him to quit.
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Let's see how he handles
the case of the missing bedtime
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because we're gonna show him
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the Grimsburg night shift.
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[Harmony blowing nose]
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00:06:59,913 --> 00:07:01,395
[Applause on TV]
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00:07:01,489 --> 00:07:04,749
Man on TV: Welcome back to
four seated women and a man.
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00:07:04,976 --> 00:07:07,493
Ladies, let's talk
about our weekends.
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00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:09,905
Harmony: I like how
the four women are approachable,
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00:07:09,906 --> 00:07:12,424
yet no-nonsense.
Mr. Flesh: Me, too.
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00:07:12,425 --> 00:07:14,427
And I like how the man
is nonthreatening
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00:07:14,428 --> 00:07:16,553
and has no power.
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00:07:19,099 --> 00:07:20,609
Harmony: Aah!
Mr. Flesh: Aah!
189
00:07:20,610 --> 00:07:22,584
[Soft thud on window]
Harmony: Not now, Stalker Steve!
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00:07:22,585 --> 00:07:24,477
Stalker Steve:
Oh, I can come back.
191
00:07:28,608 --> 00:07:33,761
?
192
00:07:33,930 --> 00:07:36,100
Flute: Ready
for your training day, rook?
193
00:07:36,101 --> 00:07:38,192
Otis: If you're trying
to scare me, don't bother.
194
00:07:38,193 --> 00:07:39,767
I've seen it all.
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00:07:39,936 --> 00:07:41,746
My safe search
is set to "moderate."
196
00:07:41,747 --> 00:07:43,271
Flute: Well, you're about to
grow up real fast
197
00:07:43,272 --> 00:07:44,605
on these here streets.
198
00:07:44,606 --> 00:07:46,350
What type of
diapers you wearing?
199
00:07:46,351 --> 00:07:47,791
Otis: [Scoffs] Yeah, right!
200
00:07:47,792 --> 00:07:49,036
Flute:
Oh, you think I'm messing?
201
00:07:49,037 --> 00:07:50,444
Because I am messing.
202
00:07:50,445 --> 00:07:52,856
I'm Debra Messing,
and I'm about to grace my pants
203
00:07:52,857 --> 00:07:55,267
with a big ol' mess
from all the horrific things
204
00:07:55,284 --> 00:07:57,376
I see out here, front and back.
205
00:07:57,545 --> 00:07:58,636
[Otis laughs]
206
00:07:58,637 --> 00:08:00,714
[Brakes screech]
Flute: You think that's funny?
207
00:08:00,715 --> 00:08:03,458
Waddling home with a soggy bowl
of cereal in your undies,
208
00:08:03,459 --> 00:08:04,717
that's a laugh?
209
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:06,645
Smelling like a poop peed
all over you, that's humorous?
210
00:08:06,646 --> 00:08:08,889
Having so many logs in your
pants, the U.S. Forest Service
211
00:08:08,890 --> 00:08:11,540
just assigned you a Ranger?
That's a tap-back ha ha?
212
00:08:11,543 --> 00:08:14,210
Yeah, well, get all your laughs
out now, son,
213
00:08:14,212 --> 00:08:18,138
because tonight, you won't have
a single thing to laugh at.
214
00:08:18,158 --> 00:08:19,899
Otis: I can handle that.
215
00:08:20,068 --> 00:08:22,068
I've seen "Bookie."
216
00:08:22,162 --> 00:08:24,904
Harmony:
Aah! What the hell are you?
217
00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:27,482
Mr. Flesh: Have you not seen
your son's countless drawings
218
00:08:27,483 --> 00:08:31,060
of me mostly riding
well-endowed horses?
219
00:08:31,153 --> 00:08:32,987
I'm Mr. Flesh.
220
00:08:33,155 --> 00:08:35,248
Harmony: Uhh! No.
221
00:08:35,249 --> 00:08:37,492
You're not real, not real.
[Light switch clicks]
222
00:08:37,493 --> 00:08:39,752
Mr. Flesh: Who still
plays apples to apples?
223
00:08:39,904 --> 00:08:41,328
[Harmony screams]
224
00:08:41,422 --> 00:08:44,257
Mr. Flesh: You never saw
the drawings of Seabaguette?
225
00:08:44,258 --> 00:08:46,410
Harmony: I'm fine.
This is just a hallucination
226
00:08:46,411 --> 00:08:48,579
from drinking
Flute's special cough syrup.
227
00:08:48,580 --> 00:08:51,338
Marrissaa on TV:
I'm Marrissaa Marrimmbaa,
228
00:08:51,358 --> 00:08:54,508
and join me later as I report
live from Grimsburg's
229
00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:57,028
very own Lazer Drag arena.
230
00:08:57,197 --> 00:08:59,007
Mr. Flesh:
Hey! Isn't that your job?
231
00:08:59,090 --> 00:09:00,314
[Harmony growls]
232
00:09:00,367 --> 00:09:02,700
Mr. Flesh:
Oh! You got Marrimmbaa-ed!
233
00:09:02,869 --> 00:09:05,185
[Marimba music]
234
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,113
[Mr. Flesh chuckles]
235
00:09:07,207 --> 00:09:10,116
?
236
00:09:10,285 --> 00:09:13,102
Kang: Wife just left him.
Refuses to negotiate.
237
00:09:13,195 --> 00:09:14,453
Not gonna end well.
238
00:09:14,548 --> 00:09:16,956
Seems like the perfect job
for Otis.
239
00:09:17,125 --> 00:09:19,792
Otis: You think a guy
with a gun is scary?
240
00:09:19,886 --> 00:09:21,944
Try memorizing
the 12 times table.
241
00:09:22,113 --> 00:09:23,629
Hi. I'm Otis.
242
00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:25,949
Man with gun: Get back
or I will blow his brains out!
243
00:09:25,950 --> 00:09:27,520
Otis: Why?
Man with gun: Why?!
244
00:09:27,619 --> 00:09:29,802
Because my wife left me.
Otis: Why?
245
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:32,456
Man with gun: 'Cause
she's tired of me or something.
246
00:09:32,457 --> 00:09:33,714
Otis: Why?
247
00:09:33,715 --> 00:09:35,459
Man with gun: I guess I always
am out with my boys.
248
00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:36,809
Otis: Why?
249
00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:38,962
Man with gun: Because I don't
know how to relate to women.
250
00:09:38,963 --> 00:09:40,464
Otis: Why?
Man with gun: You're right.
251
00:09:40,465 --> 00:09:43,575
I'm the problem.
I want to change. Uh!
252
00:09:43,743 --> 00:09:46,319
Otis: That was easy.
What's next?
253
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:47,971
Wynona: Wow. That was kind of
impressive.
254
00:09:47,972 --> 00:09:49,489
Flute: What?
That's not detectiving.
255
00:09:49,490 --> 00:09:51,474
That's called being
an annoying kid.
256
00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:54,919
You can't solve a case
just by being a kid.
257
00:09:55,088 --> 00:09:58,664
But you can solve a kid
just by being the case.
258
00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:01,001
Summers: I love it when he says
the same thing
259
00:10:01,002 --> 00:10:02,409
but reverses the words.
260
00:10:02,578 --> 00:10:04,095
I wish I could do that.
261
00:10:04,246 --> 00:10:07,932
But I could do wish
that I could can.
262
00:10:08,101 --> 00:10:10,343
Nope. That's why he's the king.
263
00:10:10,511 --> 00:10:11,661
[Owl hoots]
264
00:10:11,662 --> 00:10:13,421
Harmony:
How could Marrissaa take
265
00:10:13,422 --> 00:10:15,331
my one human interest story?
266
00:10:15,332 --> 00:10:17,258
Mr. Flesh:
Especially with that accent.
267
00:10:17,259 --> 00:10:18,668
[Rolls Rs]
Her Rs...
268
00:10:18,761 --> 00:10:20,111
are faker than her Ds.
269
00:10:20,112 --> 00:10:22,506
Harmony: Hey. That's my best
friend you're talking about.
270
00:10:22,507 --> 00:10:24,340
Mr. Flesh:
My bad. I'll back off.
271
00:10:24,341 --> 00:10:26,101
Harmony: No, I just needed
to say that
272
00:10:26,102 --> 00:10:28,344
to feel better about
trashing her. Carry on.
273
00:10:28,345 --> 00:10:30,030
Mr. Flesh: I don't want to tell
you what to do.
274
00:10:30,031 --> 00:10:31,347
That's not my business.
275
00:10:31,458 --> 00:10:34,867
But if I were you,
I'd get some revenge.
276
00:10:34,961 --> 00:10:36,294
Harmony: What...
277
00:10:36,537 --> 00:10:38,187
are we waiting for?!
278
00:10:38,188 --> 00:10:39,873
Hell yeah, Fleshy.
Let's do this.
279
00:10:39,874 --> 00:10:41,799
Mr. Flesh: [Gasps]
That was so easy.
280
00:10:41,951 --> 00:10:43,542
Bless you, Mark Harmony.
281
00:10:43,637 --> 00:10:45,387
You are everything
I wish Stan was
282
00:10:45,530 --> 00:10:49,623
but with the haircut of a woman
who sells candles on Etsy.
283
00:10:49,717 --> 00:10:52,310
?
284
00:10:52,461 --> 00:10:54,387
Summers: What are we doing here?
285
00:10:54,481 --> 00:10:56,651
Flute: I thought Otis
might show us around.
286
00:10:56,799 --> 00:11:00,818
?
287
00:11:00,987 --> 00:11:02,136
[Bell rings]
288
00:11:02,230 --> 00:11:05,323
?
289
00:11:05,324 --> 00:11:07,159
Otis: I've actually
never been here before.
290
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:08,643
My parents say
it's too dangerous.
291
00:11:08,644 --> 00:11:10,311
Flute: More dangerous
than your home?
292
00:11:10,312 --> 00:11:11,905
Think of all those
crimes you solved.
293
00:11:11,906 --> 00:11:14,558
Say, tell me about the case
of the missing lizard again.
294
00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:16,727
Otis: Well, I knew Ernest
the gardener had stolen it
295
00:11:16,728 --> 00:11:20,246
when-Ernest?
Ernest: Heh heh. Mister Otis?
296
00:11:20,398 --> 00:11:22,340
Otis: Sandy the maid?
Jed the driver?
297
00:11:22,491 --> 00:11:25,009
Masseusy the masseuse?
What is this?
298
00:11:25,010 --> 00:11:27,328
Flute: This is something even
your parents couldn't afford
299
00:11:27,329 --> 00:11:28,905
to give you-the hard truth.
300
00:11:28,998 --> 00:11:30,573
All those cases you solved,
301
00:11:30,574 --> 00:11:32,685
they were all fake,
paid for by your daddy
302
00:11:32,686 --> 00:11:35,244
so his little boy could feel
like a big detective.
303
00:11:35,245 --> 00:11:37,080
Then he shipped them off
to cushier jobs here
304
00:11:37,081 --> 00:11:38,264
to keep 'em quiet.
305
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:40,209
But, of course,
you never suspected a thing.
306
00:11:40,210 --> 00:11:41,935
And why would you?
You're not a real detective.
307
00:11:41,936 --> 00:11:44,921
You're just a bank account
with a badge.
308
00:11:44,922 --> 00:11:47,607
Otis: I thought maybe I'd found
my niche, and I could spend
309
00:11:47,608 --> 00:11:49,442
the rest of my life
cashing in on it,
310
00:11:49,610 --> 00:11:52,611
like Lin Manuel Miranda
and fast rhythmic talking,
311
00:11:52,764 --> 00:11:56,282
[Voice breaks]
but I guess it was all a lie.
312
00:11:56,418 --> 00:11:58,601
Flute: Wow.
I guess we really just
313
00:11:58,619 --> 00:12:01,938
did crush a kid's dream good!
Wynona: Yes!
314
00:12:01,939 --> 00:12:03,774
Summers: All right!
Kang: We beat a rich kid.
315
00:12:03,775 --> 00:12:05,718
That's pretty much all
you can hope for in this life.
316
00:12:05,719 --> 00:12:07,611
Wynona: Looks like I'm
the youngest again.
317
00:12:07,612 --> 00:12:09,612
Damn. Why did
I throw out my vape?
318
00:12:09,613 --> 00:12:11,873
Flute: That'll teach him to
have any passions whatsoever.
319
00:12:11,874 --> 00:12:13,282
Idiot. Where is he?
320
00:12:13,283 --> 00:12:15,060
I want to call him
an idiot to his face.
321
00:12:15,061 --> 00:12:16,135
Look at him up there.
322
00:12:16,229 --> 00:12:17,803
[As Otis]
"Boo-hoo!
323
00:12:17,972 --> 00:12:20,139
"I just found out
I'm a useless nepo-baby.
324
00:12:20,291 --> 00:12:22,608
Maybe I should kill myself."
325
00:12:24,128 --> 00:12:26,145
[All gasp]
326
00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,631
[Imitating Otis]
"This wasn't Flute's fault."
327
00:12:27,632 --> 00:12:29,449
[Regular voice]
You guys heard him.
328
00:12:33,654 --> 00:12:37,807
Flute: Otis! Hold on. I'm...
329
00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:39,642
coming.
330
00:12:39,735 --> 00:12:41,994
God, it's me-Marvin.
331
00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:43,922
I know we only talk
when I want to stop vomiting
332
00:12:43,923 --> 00:12:45,923
off the side of my bed,
but I need you.
333
00:12:45,924 --> 00:12:47,484
I may have played a small role
334
00:12:47,485 --> 00:12:48,927
in a rich kid
committing suicide.
335
00:12:48,928 --> 00:12:50,094
A little help?
336
00:12:50,321 --> 00:12:51,596
Is that pigeon a sign?
337
00:12:51,765 --> 00:12:53,335
Do you want me
to go in the lava?
338
00:12:53,336 --> 00:12:55,267
Do you want me dead, God?
Well, now you're dead to me.
339
00:12:55,268 --> 00:12:58,327
I'm going all in on science.
340
00:12:58,420 --> 00:13:01,606
Neil deGrasse Tyson!
The bird is fine.
341
00:13:01,607 --> 00:13:03,925
Farewell, my fond friends
who were always there for me
342
00:13:03,926 --> 00:13:05,351
no matter what.
343
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:08,338
Wynona: We blame it on Flute.
This was his whole nepo agenda.
344
00:13:08,339 --> 00:13:10,840
Kang: Yeah, yeah, that's good.
We all say that.
345
00:13:11,009 --> 00:13:13,117
[Flute shouts]
346
00:13:13,286 --> 00:13:15,861
Wynona: OK.
We pin it on Martinez.
347
00:13:15,955 --> 00:13:18,623
Kang: Yeah, yeah, that's good.
We all say that.
348
00:13:19,959 --> 00:13:22,460
Flute: Whew. Aah!
349
00:13:22,687 --> 00:13:32,378
?
350
00:13:32,588 --> 00:13:34,697
[Hair dryers whirring]
351
00:13:34,790 --> 00:13:56,577
?
352
00:13:57,414 --> 00:14:00,724
Flute:
You knew this was down here?
353
00:14:00,725 --> 00:14:03,317
Otis: No, but I had a hunch.
It didn't smell sulfur-y
354
00:14:03,485 --> 00:14:05,986
like the other volcano
we own in Hawaii or Japan,
355
00:14:06,230 --> 00:14:07,730
so I jumped in to investigate.
356
00:14:07,731 --> 00:14:09,733
Flute: That's a solid piece
of detective work.
357
00:14:09,734 --> 00:14:12,510
Privileged but solid.
But why have a fake volcano?
358
00:14:12,511 --> 00:14:15,238
Otis: Because they're
secretly reselling the junk
359
00:14:15,239 --> 00:14:16,799
people throw in here for profit.
360
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:18,350
And those workers are
actually people
361
00:14:18,351 --> 00:14:19,791
who tried to commit suicide,
362
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:22,170
but now they're being
held captive as slave labor.
363
00:14:22,171 --> 00:14:24,339
Flute: OK, OK. Now you're just
showing off,
364
00:14:24,340 --> 00:14:26,099
and nobody likes that
in a detective...
365
00:14:26,100 --> 00:14:27,266
I've been told.
366
00:14:27,509 --> 00:14:30,119
Look. There's that guy
who dropped you off.
367
00:14:30,121 --> 00:14:32,179
Otis: Mr. Unger!
[Flute gasps]
368
00:14:32,273 --> 00:14:33,680
Otis: I never trusted him.
369
00:14:33,681 --> 00:14:35,759
We have to get out of here
and tell my parents.
370
00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,351
They can fix anything.
371
00:14:37,352 --> 00:14:39,538
Flute: There are armed guards at
every door. We'll never get out.
372
00:14:39,539 --> 00:14:41,189
Otis: You didn't give up when
the chocolate factory killer
373
00:14:41,190 --> 00:14:42,874
had you trapped.
374
00:14:42,875 --> 00:14:45,360
Flute: Yeah, well, now I have to
run the entire factory, so-
375
00:14:45,361 --> 00:14:46,952
Wait. How did you know that?
376
00:14:47,121 --> 00:14:48,362
Otis: You're my hero.
377
00:14:48,363 --> 00:14:50,198
I have your posters
all over my room
378
00:14:50,199 --> 00:14:51,550
and your action figures, too.
379
00:14:51,551 --> 00:14:53,385
Flute:
I don't have any action figures.
380
00:14:53,386 --> 00:14:55,887
Otis: I just took
my John Wick and melted it...
381
00:14:56,055 --> 00:14:57,388
for a long while.
382
00:14:57,389 --> 00:14:59,616
Flute: Well, to get out of here,
we would need
383
00:14:59,617 --> 00:15:03,302
a John Wick arsenal
of firepower. That's it!
384
00:15:03,471 --> 00:15:05,563
[Whispering]
385
00:15:05,564 --> 00:15:07,399
Otis: You're not
saying anything.
386
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:08,959
Flute: Do you really think
detectives
387
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,010
are saying something
when they do this?
388
00:15:11,129 --> 00:15:13,646
[Dance music]
389
00:15:13,798 --> 00:15:16,741
Laser tag player: Cover me,
honey. I'm going in.
390
00:15:16,892 --> 00:15:19,076
[Buzzer sounds twice]
391
00:15:19,228 --> 00:15:20,560
[Buzzer sounds]
Really?
392
00:15:20,729 --> 00:15:23,563
Announcer: Ooh, player 3,
you been hit, girl.
393
00:15:23,658 --> 00:15:27,734
Player 3: Well, I got to
sashay away. Agh!
394
00:15:27,754 --> 00:15:29,253
[Air horn blows]
395
00:15:29,254 --> 00:15:31,498
Marrissaa: Set your phasers
to tuck because we'll have
396
00:15:31,499 --> 00:15:34,500
so much more from
Lazer Drag after the break.
397
00:15:34,594 --> 00:15:35,644
?
398
00:15:35,670 --> 00:15:37,744
[Harmony growling softly]
399
00:15:37,913 --> 00:15:39,655
[Marrissaa laughs]
400
00:15:39,656 --> 00:15:42,008
Mr. Flesh: OK, here's the plan:
Let's start a rumor
401
00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:43,342
that she's QAnon.
402
00:15:43,585 --> 00:15:45,828
Ooh! Even better!
We out her for attending
403
00:15:45,997 --> 00:15:48,497
one of Louis C.K.'s
first shows back!
404
00:15:48,590 --> 00:15:52,001
I'm sorry.
Uh, does that say "anthrax"?
405
00:15:52,002 --> 00:15:53,837
Harmony: Yeah. I did a story
on the dark web
406
00:15:53,838 --> 00:15:57,431
opening up a brick and mortar,
and it was in the gift bag.
407
00:15:57,525 --> 00:16:00,192
Mr. Flesh: You're not
trying to kill her, are you?
408
00:16:00,361 --> 00:16:01,844
Harmony: No. Of course not!
409
00:16:01,845 --> 00:16:04,681
I just want to paralyze her
enough, so that the only thing
410
00:16:04,682 --> 00:16:07,452
she can do is write a very
short nurse-assisted memoir.
411
00:16:07,453 --> 00:16:09,352
Mr. Flesh: Um, this is
starting to feel less like
412
00:16:09,353 --> 00:16:10,629
some good-natured revenge
413
00:16:10,630 --> 00:16:12,689
and more like
a straight up Lifetime movie.
414
00:16:12,690 --> 00:16:15,357
Harmony: Jeez. Where did
the fun Mr. Flesh go,
415
00:16:15,376 --> 00:16:18,285
the guy who makes my son
do all those terrible things?
416
00:16:18,379 --> 00:16:21,530
Mr. Flesh: I'm chaos,
not darkness, baby.
417
00:16:21,623 --> 00:16:23,733
I may give him a Costco sample
of anarchy,
418
00:16:23,868 --> 00:16:25,625
but Stan's decisions
are his own.
419
00:16:25,626 --> 00:16:27,554
Harmony: What are you saying,
this is my idea?
420
00:16:27,555 --> 00:16:29,963
Mr. Flesh:
Look in the disco ball, honey.
421
00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:31,557
[Harmony gasps]
422
00:16:31,651 --> 00:16:34,601
Mr. Flesh: At least in here,
it looks like a creative choice.
423
00:16:34,729 --> 00:16:37,488
Harmony: So you're saying
maybe I should be OK
424
00:16:37,639 --> 00:16:41,826
reporting on psychos
because I kind of am one.
425
00:16:41,995 --> 00:16:43,769
Wow. You're good.
426
00:16:43,921 --> 00:16:48,833
Mr. Flesh: Yep! This is exactly
how I intended this to go.
427
00:16:48,834 --> 00:16:50,485
[Buzzer sounds, player groans]
428
00:16:50,486 --> 00:16:53,170
Marrissaa: We're only
three broken ankles in-
429
00:16:53,171 --> 00:16:55,007
Cameraman: Oh, my gosh!
She's hurt.
430
00:16:55,008 --> 00:16:56,340
Is anyone here a reporter?
431
00:16:56,567 --> 00:17:01,253
Mr. Flesh: Tie up your bathrobe
and get out there.
432
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:03,590
Harmony: While it may just
look like a fun night out,
433
00:17:03,591 --> 00:17:07,076
Lazer Drag is also an important
lesson in sisterhood
434
00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:09,745
that teaches us it's way
more fun to shoot each other
435
00:17:09,838 --> 00:17:12,915
in the face than it is
to stab each other in the back.
436
00:17:12,933 --> 00:17:15,100
I'm Harmony Flute.
And now the weather.
437
00:17:15,194 --> 00:17:18,254
Take it away,
Immunocompromised Gabe.
438
00:17:18,272 --> 00:17:19,772
Oh, no. Really?
439
00:17:19,924 --> 00:17:25,018
?
440
00:17:25,187 --> 00:17:30,541
[Both whistle]
441
00:17:30,768 --> 00:17:32,284
Man: Detective Flute!
442
00:17:32,436 --> 00:17:34,246
Are you here to set us free
so that we
443
00:17:34,397 --> 00:17:36,029
can finally kill ourselves?
444
00:17:36,049 --> 00:17:37,606
Flute: Wow. That's...dark.
445
00:17:37,607 --> 00:17:40,126
When criminals throw evidence
in the volcano,
446
00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:41,719
where do they put it?
447
00:17:41,888 --> 00:17:45,556
?
448
00:17:45,725 --> 00:17:48,059
[Alarm sounds, Flute whistles]
449
00:17:48,286 --> 00:17:50,286
?
450
00:17:50,396 --> 00:17:52,897
Flute:
Looks like all our cold cases
451
00:17:53,048 --> 00:17:55,066
just got a lot warmer.
452
00:17:55,293 --> 00:17:59,128
?
453
00:17:59,297 --> 00:18:01,572
[Rifles are armed]
454
00:18:01,723 --> 00:18:03,699
?
455
00:18:03,965 --> 00:18:07,470
Man: If I turned you in,
they promised
456
00:18:07,471 --> 00:18:08,671
they'd let me off myself.
457
00:18:08,730 --> 00:18:10,247
Flute: Gotta hand it to 'em.
458
00:18:10,248 --> 00:18:12,475
They really know how
to incentivize their employees.
459
00:18:12,476 --> 00:18:13,584
?
460
00:18:13,811 --> 00:18:15,621
Harmony:
Who knew getting revenge
461
00:18:15,622 --> 00:18:17,647
with my son's imaginary skeleton
friend could be so much fun?
462
00:18:17,648 --> 00:18:19,515
Mr. Flesh: And who knew
middle-aged mothers are
463
00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:22,167
even more psychotic
than their preteen kids?
464
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:25,412
[Both laugh, then sigh]
465
00:18:25,656 --> 00:18:28,099
Harmony: The cough syrup
must be wearing off.
466
00:18:28,326 --> 00:18:29,825
You're getting fuzzier
467
00:18:29,826 --> 00:18:32,086
than a non-molestation-involved
camp memory.
468
00:18:32,087 --> 00:18:33,771
Will I ever see you again?
469
00:18:33,940 --> 00:18:38,633
Mr. Flesh: I'm always a tiny
plastic cup of dark syrup away.
470
00:18:38,836 --> 00:18:39,886
?
471
00:18:39,887 --> 00:18:40,946
[Door opens]
472
00:18:40,947 --> 00:18:42,429
Stan: Sorry, Mom.
473
00:18:42,430 --> 00:18:44,691
I tried to make new friends
like you wanted me to,
474
00:18:44,692 --> 00:18:45,952
but they were kind of mean.
475
00:18:46,026 --> 00:18:48,452
Harmony: That's OK.
You still have Mr. Flesh.
476
00:18:48,621 --> 00:18:49,954
Stan: Wait. You mean it?
477
00:18:49,955 --> 00:18:52,624
Harmony: I'd rather you have
a fake friend that's real
478
00:18:52,625 --> 00:18:55,033
than a real friend
that's fake. Go on.
479
00:18:55,202 --> 00:18:57,703
He's over...
[Wind gusts]
480
00:18:57,855 --> 00:18:58,963
there?
481
00:18:58,964 --> 00:19:01,133
Mr. Flesh: Did you hear that,
Stand Your Ground?
482
00:19:01,134 --> 00:19:03,359
Our love isn't
forbidden anymore.
483
00:19:03,452 --> 00:19:06,286
Now let's go to the drugstore
and put faint lines
484
00:19:06,455 --> 00:19:08,973
on the home pregnancy tests
to celebrate.
485
00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:14,887
?
486
00:19:14,981 --> 00:19:18,040
Otis: Ow! Mr. Unger,
when my parents find out
487
00:19:18,209 --> 00:19:20,133
what you're up to, it's over.
488
00:19:20,153 --> 00:19:21,877
Screen time, gone.
489
00:19:21,896 --> 00:19:24,655
Mr. Unger: Oh, by all means,
tell them.
490
00:19:24,824 --> 00:19:27,658
?
491
00:19:27,885 --> 00:19:31,403
Otis: Mr. and Mrs. Mom and Dad?
You knew about this?
492
00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:33,665
Mr. Volcanowitz: Where do you
think all of our money
493
00:19:33,666 --> 00:19:35,408
comes from?
It's the perfect business model:
494
00:19:35,409 --> 00:19:37,939
free merchandise, free labor,
and free shipping...
495
00:19:38,062 --> 00:19:39,912
on orders of $150 or more,
496
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,247
and it'll all be yours one day.
497
00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:44,325
Otis: But you said I could be
a detective.
498
00:19:44,326 --> 00:19:46,011
Mrs. Volcanowitz:
Please! You're rich.
499
00:19:46,012 --> 00:19:47,495
You can't be a poor,
gross police person.
500
00:19:47,496 --> 00:19:49,246
Flute:
That's where you're wrong.
501
00:19:49,247 --> 00:19:51,074
This kid is a born detective,
and I should know.
502
00:19:51,075 --> 00:19:52,257
I was born one, too.
503
00:19:52,258 --> 00:19:54,744
My father was on the force
and my grandfather
504
00:19:54,745 --> 00:19:57,563
and his fath-Oh, my God.
Am I a nepo-baby?
505
00:19:57,748 --> 00:20:00,006
Otis: Sorry, Flute,
but I can't risk it.
506
00:20:00,175 --> 00:20:02,693
Take him back down there.
Flute: Otis? No!
507
00:20:02,862 --> 00:20:04,269
Otis: You know too much,
508
00:20:04,270 --> 00:20:06,756
and nothing is more important
than very wealthy family.
509
00:20:06,757 --> 00:20:08,273
Mr. Volcanowitz: It's true.
510
00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:10,035
We can't have you out there
knowing about
511
00:20:10,036 --> 00:20:11,870
the human trafficking,
indentured servitude,
512
00:20:11,871 --> 00:20:16,373
conspiracy to impersonate
a volcano-
513
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:18,350
Kang: Freeze.
You're under arrest.
514
00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:19,860
Flute: How did you know
we were in here?
515
00:20:19,861 --> 00:20:22,105
Mr. Volcanowitz on recording:
...human trafficking,
516
00:20:22,106 --> 00:20:23,306
indentured servitude,
517
00:20:23,441 --> 00:20:25,441
conspiracy to impersonate
a volcano.
518
00:20:25,442 --> 00:20:27,944
Mrs. Volcanowitz: Otis,
you're making a huge mistake.
519
00:20:27,945 --> 00:20:29,554
You can kiss easy street
good-bye,
520
00:20:29,555 --> 00:20:32,130
and I mean the actual street
we left you in our will.
521
00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:33,892
You'll never get
another dollar from us.
522
00:20:33,893 --> 00:20:35,710
Flute: Don't worry, kid.
You'll be fine.
523
00:20:35,711 --> 00:20:37,562
You can make some decent coin
at Grimsburg PD.
524
00:20:37,563 --> 00:20:39,638
I mean, don't get divorced
or have a kid
525
00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:42,383
or develop a crippling addiction
to daily fantasy sports.
526
00:20:42,384 --> 00:20:44,309
Who are the Sparks
playing tonight?
527
00:20:44,478 --> 00:20:47,053
Otis: Are you saying that
I can have my badge back?
528
00:20:47,073 --> 00:20:48,464
Flute: You sure can, kid.
529
00:20:48,465 --> 00:20:50,909
Kang: Yeah, it's really not
your job to decide that.
530
00:20:50,910 --> 00:20:52,493
Flute: You sure can.
531
00:20:57,141 --> 00:20:58,657
Flute: Talk about a crazy day.
532
00:20:58,826 --> 00:21:01,752
I experienced all three of
my emotions, including horny.
533
00:21:01,921 --> 00:21:04,279
Kang: And I reset
the thermostat back to 62.
534
00:21:04,423 --> 00:21:05,831
Ahh.
535
00:21:05,832 --> 00:21:08,485
Wynona: And I've accepted
that I'm the second youngest.
536
00:21:08,486 --> 00:21:10,595
It's like being
the middle child of the office,
537
00:21:10,596 --> 00:21:13,323
not that anyone's paying
attention to me anymore. Hmph!
538
00:21:13,324 --> 00:21:15,491
Otis: And I've got a ton
of paperwork to do
539
00:21:15,601 --> 00:21:16,934
on these cold cases.
540
00:21:17,161 --> 00:21:19,161
I solved 143 murders today.
541
00:21:19,254 --> 00:21:20,304
That makes me
542
00:21:20,498 --> 00:21:21,998
number one on the leaderboard.
543
00:21:22,090 --> 00:21:23,165
Flute: Hold on.
544
00:21:23,166 --> 00:21:24,592
We both found that volcano.
545
00:21:24,593 --> 00:21:26,278
Martinez: Technically,
Otis found it first.
546
00:21:26,279 --> 00:21:28,004
Flute:
How dare you take his side!
547
00:21:28,005 --> 00:21:29,875
Do you know who my father is?
[Yells]
548
00:21:30,024 --> 00:21:31,639
[Boxes and contents thud]
549
00:21:31,842 --> 00:21:34,343
?
550
00:21:34,344 --> 00:21:35,626
Person: Bento.
[Cheering]
551
00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:40,177
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