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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,848 --> 00:00:03,503 [Classical music playing] 2 00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:05,170 [Laughter] 3 00:00:05,171 --> 00:00:08,167 Mayor Dilquez: Thank you for being my plus-one. 4 00:00:08,168 --> 00:00:10,938 My regular shaman is full-time with Aaron Rodgers now. 5 00:00:11,079 --> 00:00:13,839 Do you have something for public speaking? 6 00:00:14,082 --> 00:00:15,915 Shaman: Be careful. 7 00:00:16,084 --> 00:00:18,677 Even a microdose of this could- 8 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:19,970 [Bottle breaks] 9 00:00:20,088 --> 00:00:21,138 Man: There he is- 10 00:00:21,181 --> 00:00:23,348 our soon-to-be re-elected mayor. 11 00:00:23,500 --> 00:00:26,334 Mayor Dilquez: Mr. and Mrs. Volcanowitz, my top donors. 12 00:00:26,428 --> 00:00:28,503 You look wealthier than ever. 13 00:00:28,504 --> 00:00:30,748 Mr. Volcanowitz: Everyone is so excited to help you defeat that 14 00:00:30,749 --> 00:00:33,579 talking goose running against you, especially Mother. 15 00:00:33,580 --> 00:00:36,254 Mrs. Volcanowitz: Is it true you're dropping a new diss track 16 00:00:36,255 --> 00:00:37,754 about the Goose tonight? 17 00:00:37,755 --> 00:00:41,034 Mayor Dilquez: Someone's been reading "WorldstarPolitics." 18 00:00:41,035 --> 00:00:44,277 Ha ha! [Mr. Volcanowitz laughs] 19 00:00:44,371 --> 00:00:45,811 Mayor Dilquez: See? I'm fine. 20 00:00:45,931 --> 00:00:50,433 [Series of different chords and noises plays rapidly] 21 00:00:50,527 --> 00:00:54,529 [Microphone feedback, person coughs] 22 00:00:54,623 --> 00:00:58,199 Mayor Dilquez: ? Yo, Goose, is it true you go young? ? 23 00:00:58,218 --> 00:01:01,636 ? I heard that cryin' goslings are the only way you'll- ? 24 00:01:05,450 --> 00:01:07,726 [Guests scream] 25 00:01:07,895 --> 00:01:10,062 Mayor Dilquez: Not a fan of hip-hop? 26 00:01:11,548 --> 00:01:13,139 [Theme music playing] 27 00:01:13,292 --> 00:01:29,897 ? 28 00:01:29,991 --> 00:01:31,041 [Crack] 29 00:01:33,312 --> 00:01:34,572 Martinez: And that is why 30 00:01:34,646 --> 00:01:36,479 the clown car limit is now 30 people. 31 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:38,591 Goodbye Bongo, Honko, Bazinko, Winky, and Leonard. 32 00:01:38,592 --> 00:01:41,409 May their hilarious souls rest in peace. 33 00:01:41,503 --> 00:01:42,594 [Honk honk] 34 00:01:42,838 --> 00:01:44,708 And, lastly, we have a new detective 35 00:01:44,709 --> 00:01:46,490 joining the department today. Any questions? No. Good. 36 00:01:46,491 --> 00:01:48,267 Dismissed. [Flute, Summers, Wynona gasp] 37 00:01:48,268 --> 00:01:49,918 Flute: You can't drop a bomb like that and leave. 38 00:01:49,919 --> 00:01:51,512 This isn't the bank across the street's family bathroom. 39 00:01:51,513 --> 00:01:53,143 Who is it? Martinez: Don't know. 40 00:01:53,144 --> 00:01:54,849 Haven't met him. Wynona: I hope he's hot. 41 00:01:54,850 --> 00:01:56,334 Summers: Yeah, I hope he's super-hot. 42 00:01:56,335 --> 00:01:57,442 [Chuckles weakly] 43 00:01:57,443 --> 00:01:59,612 Martinez: Well, as a favor, the mayor asked 44 00:01:59,613 --> 00:02:02,563 if I would hire the son of his top donor, the Volcanowitzes. 45 00:02:02,564 --> 00:02:04,433 Flute: The new guy is a Volcanowitz? 46 00:02:04,434 --> 00:02:05,526 Summers: A Volcano-whatz? 47 00:02:05,527 --> 00:02:07,511 Wynona: The Volcanowitzes are, like, 48 00:02:07,512 --> 00:02:09,271 the richest people in Grimsburg. They own the volcano. 49 00:02:09,272 --> 00:02:10,623 Announcer: Do you have large furniture 50 00:02:10,624 --> 00:02:12,849 you no longer want? Volcano! 51 00:02:12,868 --> 00:02:15,702 Don't know what to do with all those old rollerblades? 52 00:02:15,854 --> 00:02:17,295 Volcano! 53 00:02:17,296 --> 00:02:19,281 Have a hard drive you claim someone else filled 54 00:02:19,282 --> 00:02:22,617 with a bunch of "weird stuff"? Volcano! 55 00:02:22,636 --> 00:02:23,860 ? 56 00:02:23,953 --> 00:02:26,287 Kang: All right. That hot volcano is 57 00:02:26,306 --> 00:02:28,365 why we have so many cold cases. 58 00:02:28,366 --> 00:02:30,309 Criminals keep dumping evidence in there, and they 59 00:02:30,310 --> 00:02:31,811 refuse to do anything to stop it, 60 00:02:31,812 --> 00:02:34,582 not to mention the extremely high number of suicides, 61 00:02:34,706 --> 00:02:36,481 but that's God's problem. 62 00:02:36,482 --> 00:02:38,634 Flute: Our problem is some nepo-baby thinks he 63 00:02:38,635 --> 00:02:40,653 can jump the line because his parents are rich. 64 00:02:40,654 --> 00:02:42,321 Wynona: As the youngest person in the office, 65 00:02:42,322 --> 00:02:43,990 I hate nepo-babies because they're 66 00:02:43,991 --> 00:02:45,640 taking my generation's jobs. 67 00:02:45,641 --> 00:02:47,994 But as the poorest person in the office, I would love 68 00:02:47,995 --> 00:02:51,388 to marry into wealth, so I gotta go change. 69 00:02:51,406 --> 00:02:53,156 Martinez: He's not just some noob. 70 00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:55,983 I hear he has his own P.I. business with a 100% solve rate. 71 00:02:56,152 --> 00:02:58,745 Plus, the mayor has been very good to us, so I feel 72 00:02:58,746 --> 00:03:00,506 that we should give his guy a shot. 73 00:03:00,507 --> 00:03:02,677 Kang: And...? Martinez: And he promised that 74 00:03:02,734 --> 00:03:05,627 he'd make me commissioner. 75 00:03:05,904 --> 00:03:07,828 ? 76 00:03:07,829 --> 00:03:10,090 Flute: You hired someone older than Kang? 77 00:03:10,091 --> 00:03:12,575 Man: Oh, no. I work for the Volcanowitzes. 78 00:03:12,686 --> 00:03:14,502 I'm here to drop him off. 79 00:03:14,503 --> 00:03:16,189 Otis: Otis Volcanowitz- kid detective 80 00:03:16,190 --> 00:03:17,522 reporting for duty. 81 00:03:17,715 --> 00:03:20,750 What time is snack at, and when do I get my gun? 82 00:03:20,843 --> 00:03:22,752 [Slurping] 83 00:03:22,771 --> 00:03:25,680 ? 84 00:03:25,699 --> 00:03:27,073 [Sneezes] 85 00:03:30,111 --> 00:03:32,095 [Sneezes, gasps] 86 00:03:32,264 --> 00:03:33,538 Woman: You're sick. 87 00:03:33,539 --> 00:03:36,209 Harmony: I'm not the one who steals my panties, Steve- 88 00:03:36,210 --> 00:03:38,693 Ugh. Sorry, Marrissaa. 89 00:03:38,694 --> 00:03:40,955 My ears are clogged and you sounded like my stalker. 90 00:03:40,956 --> 00:03:42,214 [Sneezes] 91 00:03:42,215 --> 00:03:44,275 Marrissaa: Aw, you should go home and rest. 92 00:03:44,276 --> 00:03:45,625 Harmony: I can't go home. 93 00:03:45,794 --> 00:03:48,628 I'm covering the opening of the new Lazer Drag arena, 94 00:03:48,722 --> 00:03:51,672 and it's the first non-murder story I've gotten in months. 95 00:03:51,673 --> 00:03:53,801 Marrissaa: Ay, but if you stick around, you might be 96 00:03:53,802 --> 00:03:55,468 the murder story. You don't want 97 00:03:55,469 --> 00:03:57,471 to kill Immunocompromised Gabe the weatherman. 98 00:03:57,472 --> 00:04:00,398 Gabe: ...and a high of 67 means a beautiful day 99 00:04:00,625 --> 00:04:04,978 for those of you who aren't allergic to sunshine. 100 00:04:05,221 --> 00:04:08,556 Why do you hate me, God? 101 00:04:08,650 --> 00:04:10,133 Harmony: Maybe you're right. 102 00:04:10,134 --> 00:04:12,578 Just promise me you won't let anyone take my story. 103 00:04:12,579 --> 00:04:15,229 Marrissaa: Over my dead perfect body. 104 00:04:15,249 --> 00:04:17,179 Harmony: Thanks. You're a good friend. 105 00:04:17,233 --> 00:04:20,067 Oh, but don't eat the dip. 106 00:04:20,068 --> 00:04:21,754 Otis: And once I realized our gardener was 107 00:04:21,755 --> 00:04:24,665 actually a top architect in his home country, I deduced he 108 00:04:24,666 --> 00:04:26,817 must have used the blueprints from our house to sneak in. 109 00:04:26,818 --> 00:04:29,502 And that's how I solved the case of the stolen lizard. 110 00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:31,822 Now for the case of the missing muffin, I'll tell you 111 00:04:31,823 --> 00:04:33,991 our maid did it first and then explain how I knew, 112 00:04:33,992 --> 00:04:35,466 "Poker Face" style. 113 00:04:35,467 --> 00:04:37,270 Flute: Can't believe this nepo-baby thinks he 114 00:04:37,271 --> 00:04:38,828 can just buy his badge. 115 00:04:38,829 --> 00:04:40,848 I mean, we all had to buy our badges due to budget cuts, 116 00:04:40,849 --> 00:04:42,591 but that was after we attended the police academy, 117 00:04:42,592 --> 00:04:44,351 passed a field test, and trained our bodies 118 00:04:44,352 --> 00:04:46,461 to digest pastrami as a vegetable. 119 00:04:46,521 --> 00:04:49,005 Wynona: Welcome to the department, 120 00:04:49,098 --> 00:04:51,116 Officer Volcanowitz. 121 00:04:51,285 --> 00:04:53,785 Kang: Wrong one. Volcanowitz is the kid. 122 00:04:53,786 --> 00:04:57,123 Wynona: So I put on this dead debutante's dress for nothing? 123 00:04:57,124 --> 00:04:58,531 Kang: You should be happy. 124 00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:01,201 You're not the youngest person working here anymore. 125 00:05:01,202 --> 00:05:02,944 Wynona: Yeah, but if I'm not the youngest... 126 00:05:02,945 --> 00:05:04,445 then what am I? 127 00:05:04,464 --> 00:05:06,454 Otis: You're trouble with a capital T, 128 00:05:06,455 --> 00:05:08,709 which I can write in cursive if you give me lined paper. 129 00:05:08,710 --> 00:05:10,952 Let me get your digits in my super expensive SAT phone 130 00:05:10,953 --> 00:05:12,971 my folks gave me for my half-birthday. 131 00:05:12,972 --> 00:05:14,715 Wynona: They bought you a satellite phone? 132 00:05:14,716 --> 00:05:16,886 Otis: They actually bought me the company. 133 00:05:16,887 --> 00:05:18,627 [Wynona scoffs] Otis: What's her story? 134 00:05:18,628 --> 00:05:21,721 Summers: She's taken! Taken dance lessons. 135 00:05:21,873 --> 00:05:24,374 Otis: I can tell. Look at the legs on that one. 136 00:05:24,375 --> 00:05:26,727 I could put my feet on her feet and walk around 137 00:05:26,728 --> 00:05:28,211 like Frankenstein for days. 138 00:05:28,380 --> 00:05:30,380 Kang: Who touched the thermostat? 139 00:05:30,398 --> 00:05:31,990 Otis: It's freezing in here. 140 00:05:31,991 --> 00:05:33,734 Maybe don't wear a sleeping bag inside. 141 00:05:33,735 --> 00:05:35,736 Martinez: Come on. Let's go get you that gun. 142 00:05:35,737 --> 00:05:38,055 Otis: I really need one with a grenade launcher. 143 00:05:38,056 --> 00:05:39,238 Thank you so much. 144 00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:41,241 Flute, Kang, Wynona: That kid has to go. 145 00:05:41,242 --> 00:05:43,059 Summers: That kid has to die. 146 00:05:43,078 --> 00:05:45,244 "Go." I said, "Go." 147 00:05:45,397 --> 00:05:47,080 ? 148 00:05:47,232 --> 00:05:48,731 [Thermometer beeps] 149 00:05:48,732 --> 00:05:51,326 Harmony: Ugh! You know, you're the one who got me sick. 150 00:05:51,327 --> 00:05:55,071 Why did you have to lick every elevator button in the ICU? 151 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,331 Stan: It wasn't my idea. I was dared. 152 00:05:57,458 --> 00:06:00,501 Harmony: By who? Mr. Flesh? Ohh. I have had enough. 153 00:06:00,670 --> 00:06:02,670 You need real friends, 154 00:06:02,671 --> 00:06:05,006 so I signed you up for the beach dirty-up today 155 00:06:05,007 --> 00:06:07,584 without your imaginary friend. 156 00:06:07,677 --> 00:06:09,135 Mr. Flesh: You blondster! 157 00:06:09,287 --> 00:06:11,087 Stan: [Sighs] OK. 158 00:06:11,088 --> 00:06:12,590 Harmony: Great. That's settled. 159 00:06:12,591 --> 00:06:14,683 Mr. Flesh: It's fine. I hate the beach anyway. 160 00:06:14,684 --> 00:06:17,202 Everyone's so jelly of my thigh gap. 161 00:06:17,429 --> 00:06:20,187 ? 162 00:06:20,188 --> 00:06:21,615 Flute: We demand you fire Otis. 163 00:06:21,616 --> 00:06:23,766 He keeps saying "Pew!" when he pretends 164 00:06:23,860 --> 00:06:24,934 to shoot his gun. 165 00:06:24,935 --> 00:06:26,937 Everyone knows the right noise is...Pow! 166 00:06:26,938 --> 00:06:29,106 Pkkk, pkkk, pkkk, pkkk. [Imitates richochet noise] 167 00:06:29,107 --> 00:06:30,607 Martinez: No chance. 168 00:06:30,608 --> 00:06:33,201 That little nepo-baby is my ticket to the big time. 169 00:06:33,202 --> 00:06:35,628 Too Captain Crunch-y for the Commish? 170 00:06:35,797 --> 00:06:37,614 I need a mirror. 171 00:06:37,632 --> 00:06:40,725 Kang: Ugh. Picked the wrong day to wear my under-puffer. Huh. 172 00:06:40,726 --> 00:06:42,970 Wynona: These snowflakes are jeopardizing 173 00:06:42,971 --> 00:06:44,303 everything we stand for. 174 00:06:44,398 --> 00:06:45,471 I own a gun now? 175 00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:47,141 Flute: Maybe she doesn't have to fire him. 176 00:06:47,142 --> 00:06:48,582 We just have to get him to quit. 177 00:06:48,583 --> 00:06:51,462 Let's see how he handles the case of the missing bedtime 178 00:06:51,463 --> 00:06:53,146 because we're gonna show him 179 00:06:53,314 --> 00:06:55,798 the Grimsburg night shift. 180 00:06:55,967 --> 00:06:59,802 [Harmony blowing nose] 181 00:06:59,913 --> 00:07:01,395 [Applause on TV] 182 00:07:01,489 --> 00:07:04,749 Man on TV: Welcome back to four seated women and a man. 183 00:07:04,976 --> 00:07:07,493 Ladies, let's talk about our weekends. 184 00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:09,905 Harmony: I like how the four women are approachable, 185 00:07:09,906 --> 00:07:12,424 yet no-nonsense. Mr. Flesh: Me, too. 186 00:07:12,425 --> 00:07:14,427 And I like how the man is nonthreatening 187 00:07:14,428 --> 00:07:16,553 and has no power. 188 00:07:19,099 --> 00:07:20,609 Harmony: Aah! Mr. Flesh: Aah! 189 00:07:20,610 --> 00:07:22,584 [Soft thud on window] Harmony: Not now, Stalker Steve! 190 00:07:22,585 --> 00:07:24,477 Stalker Steve: Oh, I can come back. 191 00:07:28,608 --> 00:07:33,761 ? 192 00:07:33,930 --> 00:07:36,100 Flute: Ready for your training day, rook? 193 00:07:36,101 --> 00:07:38,192 Otis: If you're trying to scare me, don't bother. 194 00:07:38,193 --> 00:07:39,767 I've seen it all. 195 00:07:39,936 --> 00:07:41,746 My safe search is set to "moderate." 196 00:07:41,747 --> 00:07:43,271 Flute: Well, you're about to grow up real fast 197 00:07:43,272 --> 00:07:44,605 on these here streets. 198 00:07:44,606 --> 00:07:46,350 What type of diapers you wearing? 199 00:07:46,351 --> 00:07:47,791 Otis: [Scoffs] Yeah, right! 200 00:07:47,792 --> 00:07:49,036 Flute: Oh, you think I'm messing? 201 00:07:49,037 --> 00:07:50,444 Because I am messing. 202 00:07:50,445 --> 00:07:52,856 I'm Debra Messing, and I'm about to grace my pants 203 00:07:52,857 --> 00:07:55,267 with a big ol' mess from all the horrific things 204 00:07:55,284 --> 00:07:57,376 I see out here, front and back. 205 00:07:57,545 --> 00:07:58,636 [Otis laughs] 206 00:07:58,637 --> 00:08:00,714 [Brakes screech] Flute: You think that's funny? 207 00:08:00,715 --> 00:08:03,458 Waddling home with a soggy bowl of cereal in your undies, 208 00:08:03,459 --> 00:08:04,717 that's a laugh? 209 00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:06,645 Smelling like a poop peed all over you, that's humorous? 210 00:08:06,646 --> 00:08:08,889 Having so many logs in your pants, the U.S. Forest Service 211 00:08:08,890 --> 00:08:11,540 just assigned you a Ranger? That's a tap-back ha ha? 212 00:08:11,543 --> 00:08:14,210 Yeah, well, get all your laughs out now, son, 213 00:08:14,212 --> 00:08:18,138 because tonight, you won't have a single thing to laugh at. 214 00:08:18,158 --> 00:08:19,899 Otis: I can handle that. 215 00:08:20,068 --> 00:08:22,068 I've seen "Bookie." 216 00:08:22,162 --> 00:08:24,904 Harmony: Aah! What the hell are you? 217 00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:27,482 Mr. Flesh: Have you not seen your son's countless drawings 218 00:08:27,483 --> 00:08:31,060 of me mostly riding well-endowed horses? 219 00:08:31,153 --> 00:08:32,987 I'm Mr. Flesh. 220 00:08:33,155 --> 00:08:35,248 Harmony: Uhh! No. 221 00:08:35,249 --> 00:08:37,492 You're not real, not real. [Light switch clicks] 222 00:08:37,493 --> 00:08:39,752 Mr. Flesh: Who still plays apples to apples? 223 00:08:39,904 --> 00:08:41,328 [Harmony screams] 224 00:08:41,422 --> 00:08:44,257 Mr. Flesh: You never saw the drawings of Seabaguette? 225 00:08:44,258 --> 00:08:46,410 Harmony: I'm fine. This is just a hallucination 226 00:08:46,411 --> 00:08:48,579 from drinking Flute's special cough syrup. 227 00:08:48,580 --> 00:08:51,338 Marrissaa on TV: I'm Marrissaa Marrimmbaa, 228 00:08:51,358 --> 00:08:54,508 and join me later as I report live from Grimsburg's 229 00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:57,028 very own Lazer Drag arena. 230 00:08:57,197 --> 00:08:59,007 Mr. Flesh: Hey! Isn't that your job? 231 00:08:59,090 --> 00:09:00,314 [Harmony growls] 232 00:09:00,367 --> 00:09:02,700 Mr. Flesh: Oh! You got Marrimmbaa-ed! 233 00:09:02,869 --> 00:09:05,185 [Marimba music] 234 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,113 [Mr. Flesh chuckles] 235 00:09:07,207 --> 00:09:10,116 ? 236 00:09:10,285 --> 00:09:13,102 Kang: Wife just left him. Refuses to negotiate. 237 00:09:13,195 --> 00:09:14,453 Not gonna end well. 238 00:09:14,548 --> 00:09:16,956 Seems like the perfect job for Otis. 239 00:09:17,125 --> 00:09:19,792 Otis: You think a guy with a gun is scary? 240 00:09:19,886 --> 00:09:21,944 Try memorizing the 12 times table. 241 00:09:22,113 --> 00:09:23,629 Hi. I'm Otis. 242 00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:25,949 Man with gun: Get back or I will blow his brains out! 243 00:09:25,950 --> 00:09:27,520 Otis: Why? Man with gun: Why?! 244 00:09:27,619 --> 00:09:29,802 Because my wife left me. Otis: Why? 245 00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:32,456 Man with gun: 'Cause she's tired of me or something. 246 00:09:32,457 --> 00:09:33,714 Otis: Why? 247 00:09:33,715 --> 00:09:35,459 Man with gun: I guess I always am out with my boys. 248 00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:36,809 Otis: Why? 249 00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:38,962 Man with gun: Because I don't know how to relate to women. 250 00:09:38,963 --> 00:09:40,464 Otis: Why? Man with gun: You're right. 251 00:09:40,465 --> 00:09:43,575 I'm the problem. I want to change. Uh! 252 00:09:43,743 --> 00:09:46,319 Otis: That was easy. What's next? 253 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:47,971 Wynona: Wow. That was kind of impressive. 254 00:09:47,972 --> 00:09:49,489 Flute: What? That's not detectiving. 255 00:09:49,490 --> 00:09:51,474 That's called being an annoying kid. 256 00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:54,919 You can't solve a case just by being a kid. 257 00:09:55,088 --> 00:09:58,664 But you can solve a kid just by being the case. 258 00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:01,001 Summers: I love it when he says the same thing 259 00:10:01,002 --> 00:10:02,409 but reverses the words. 260 00:10:02,578 --> 00:10:04,095 I wish I could do that. 261 00:10:04,246 --> 00:10:07,932 But I could do wish that I could can. 262 00:10:08,101 --> 00:10:10,343 Nope. That's why he's the king. 263 00:10:10,511 --> 00:10:11,661 [Owl hoots] 264 00:10:11,662 --> 00:10:13,421 Harmony: How could Marrissaa take 265 00:10:13,422 --> 00:10:15,331 my one human interest story? 266 00:10:15,332 --> 00:10:17,258 Mr. Flesh: Especially with that accent. 267 00:10:17,259 --> 00:10:18,668 [Rolls Rs] Her Rs... 268 00:10:18,761 --> 00:10:20,111 are faker than her Ds. 269 00:10:20,112 --> 00:10:22,506 Harmony: Hey. That's my best friend you're talking about. 270 00:10:22,507 --> 00:10:24,340 Mr. Flesh: My bad. I'll back off. 271 00:10:24,341 --> 00:10:26,101 Harmony: No, I just needed to say that 272 00:10:26,102 --> 00:10:28,344 to feel better about trashing her. Carry on. 273 00:10:28,345 --> 00:10:30,030 Mr. Flesh: I don't want to tell you what to do. 274 00:10:30,031 --> 00:10:31,347 That's not my business. 275 00:10:31,458 --> 00:10:34,867 But if I were you, I'd get some revenge. 276 00:10:34,961 --> 00:10:36,294 Harmony: What... 277 00:10:36,537 --> 00:10:38,187 are we waiting for?! 278 00:10:38,188 --> 00:10:39,873 Hell yeah, Fleshy. Let's do this. 279 00:10:39,874 --> 00:10:41,799 Mr. Flesh: [Gasps] That was so easy. 280 00:10:41,951 --> 00:10:43,542 Bless you, Mark Harmony. 281 00:10:43,637 --> 00:10:45,387 You are everything I wish Stan was 282 00:10:45,530 --> 00:10:49,623 but with the haircut of a woman who sells candles on Etsy. 283 00:10:49,717 --> 00:10:52,310 ? 284 00:10:52,461 --> 00:10:54,387 Summers: What are we doing here? 285 00:10:54,481 --> 00:10:56,651 Flute: I thought Otis might show us around. 286 00:10:56,799 --> 00:11:00,818 ? 287 00:11:00,987 --> 00:11:02,136 [Bell rings] 288 00:11:02,230 --> 00:11:05,323 ? 289 00:11:05,324 --> 00:11:07,159 Otis: I've actually never been here before. 290 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:08,643 My parents say it's too dangerous. 291 00:11:08,644 --> 00:11:10,311 Flute: More dangerous than your home? 292 00:11:10,312 --> 00:11:11,905 Think of all those crimes you solved. 293 00:11:11,906 --> 00:11:14,558 Say, tell me about the case of the missing lizard again. 294 00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:16,727 Otis: Well, I knew Ernest the gardener had stolen it 295 00:11:16,728 --> 00:11:20,246 when-Ernest? Ernest: Heh heh. Mister Otis? 296 00:11:20,398 --> 00:11:22,340 Otis: Sandy the maid? Jed the driver? 297 00:11:22,491 --> 00:11:25,009 Masseusy the masseuse? What is this? 298 00:11:25,010 --> 00:11:27,328 Flute: This is something even your parents couldn't afford 299 00:11:27,329 --> 00:11:28,905 to give you-the hard truth. 300 00:11:28,998 --> 00:11:30,573 All those cases you solved, 301 00:11:30,574 --> 00:11:32,685 they were all fake, paid for by your daddy 302 00:11:32,686 --> 00:11:35,244 so his little boy could feel like a big detective. 303 00:11:35,245 --> 00:11:37,080 Then he shipped them off to cushier jobs here 304 00:11:37,081 --> 00:11:38,264 to keep 'em quiet. 305 00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:40,209 But, of course, you never suspected a thing. 306 00:11:40,210 --> 00:11:41,935 And why would you? You're not a real detective. 307 00:11:41,936 --> 00:11:44,921 You're just a bank account with a badge. 308 00:11:44,922 --> 00:11:47,607 Otis: I thought maybe I'd found my niche, and I could spend 309 00:11:47,608 --> 00:11:49,442 the rest of my life cashing in on it, 310 00:11:49,610 --> 00:11:52,611 like Lin Manuel Miranda and fast rhythmic talking, 311 00:11:52,764 --> 00:11:56,282 [Voice breaks] but I guess it was all a lie. 312 00:11:56,418 --> 00:11:58,601 Flute: Wow. I guess we really just 313 00:11:58,619 --> 00:12:01,938 did crush a kid's dream good! Wynona: Yes! 314 00:12:01,939 --> 00:12:03,774 Summers: All right! Kang: We beat a rich kid. 315 00:12:03,775 --> 00:12:05,718 That's pretty much all you can hope for in this life. 316 00:12:05,719 --> 00:12:07,611 Wynona: Looks like I'm the youngest again. 317 00:12:07,612 --> 00:12:09,612 Damn. Why did I throw out my vape? 318 00:12:09,613 --> 00:12:11,873 Flute: That'll teach him to have any passions whatsoever. 319 00:12:11,874 --> 00:12:13,282 Idiot. Where is he? 320 00:12:13,283 --> 00:12:15,060 I want to call him an idiot to his face. 321 00:12:15,061 --> 00:12:16,135 Look at him up there. 322 00:12:16,229 --> 00:12:17,803 [As Otis] "Boo-hoo! 323 00:12:17,972 --> 00:12:20,139 "I just found out I'm a useless nepo-baby. 324 00:12:20,291 --> 00:12:22,608 Maybe I should kill myself." 325 00:12:24,128 --> 00:12:26,145 [All gasp] 326 00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,631 [Imitating Otis] "This wasn't Flute's fault." 327 00:12:27,632 --> 00:12:29,449 [Regular voice] You guys heard him. 328 00:12:33,654 --> 00:12:37,807 Flute: Otis! Hold on. I'm... 329 00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:39,642 coming. 330 00:12:39,735 --> 00:12:41,994 God, it's me-Marvin. 331 00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:43,922 I know we only talk when I want to stop vomiting 332 00:12:43,923 --> 00:12:45,923 off the side of my bed, but I need you. 333 00:12:45,924 --> 00:12:47,484 I may have played a small role 334 00:12:47,485 --> 00:12:48,927 in a rich kid committing suicide. 335 00:12:48,928 --> 00:12:50,094 A little help? 336 00:12:50,321 --> 00:12:51,596 Is that pigeon a sign? 337 00:12:51,765 --> 00:12:53,335 Do you want me to go in the lava? 338 00:12:53,336 --> 00:12:55,267 Do you want me dead, God? Well, now you're dead to me. 339 00:12:55,268 --> 00:12:58,327 I'm going all in on science. 340 00:12:58,420 --> 00:13:01,606 Neil deGrasse Tyson! The bird is fine. 341 00:13:01,607 --> 00:13:03,925 Farewell, my fond friends who were always there for me 342 00:13:03,926 --> 00:13:05,351 no matter what. 343 00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:08,338 Wynona: We blame it on Flute. This was his whole nepo agenda. 344 00:13:08,339 --> 00:13:10,840 Kang: Yeah, yeah, that's good. We all say that. 345 00:13:11,009 --> 00:13:13,117 [Flute shouts] 346 00:13:13,286 --> 00:13:15,861 Wynona: OK. We pin it on Martinez. 347 00:13:15,955 --> 00:13:18,623 Kang: Yeah, yeah, that's good. We all say that. 348 00:13:19,959 --> 00:13:22,460 Flute: Whew. Aah! 349 00:13:22,687 --> 00:13:32,378 ? 350 00:13:32,588 --> 00:13:34,697 [Hair dryers whirring] 351 00:13:34,790 --> 00:13:56,577 ? 352 00:13:57,414 --> 00:14:00,724 Flute: You knew this was down here? 353 00:14:00,725 --> 00:14:03,317 Otis: No, but I had a hunch. It didn't smell sulfur-y 354 00:14:03,485 --> 00:14:05,986 like the other volcano we own in Hawaii or Japan, 355 00:14:06,230 --> 00:14:07,730 so I jumped in to investigate. 356 00:14:07,731 --> 00:14:09,733 Flute: That's a solid piece of detective work. 357 00:14:09,734 --> 00:14:12,510 Privileged but solid. But why have a fake volcano? 358 00:14:12,511 --> 00:14:15,238 Otis: Because they're secretly reselling the junk 359 00:14:15,239 --> 00:14:16,799 people throw in here for profit. 360 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:18,350 And those workers are actually people 361 00:14:18,351 --> 00:14:19,791 who tried to commit suicide, 362 00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:22,170 but now they're being held captive as slave labor. 363 00:14:22,171 --> 00:14:24,339 Flute: OK, OK. Now you're just showing off, 364 00:14:24,340 --> 00:14:26,099 and nobody likes that in a detective... 365 00:14:26,100 --> 00:14:27,266 I've been told. 366 00:14:27,509 --> 00:14:30,119 Look. There's that guy who dropped you off. 367 00:14:30,121 --> 00:14:32,179 Otis: Mr. Unger! [Flute gasps] 368 00:14:32,273 --> 00:14:33,680 Otis: I never trusted him. 369 00:14:33,681 --> 00:14:35,759 We have to get out of here and tell my parents. 370 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,351 They can fix anything. 371 00:14:37,352 --> 00:14:39,538 Flute: There are armed guards at every door. We'll never get out. 372 00:14:39,539 --> 00:14:41,189 Otis: You didn't give up when the chocolate factory killer 373 00:14:41,190 --> 00:14:42,874 had you trapped. 374 00:14:42,875 --> 00:14:45,360 Flute: Yeah, well, now I have to run the entire factory, so- 375 00:14:45,361 --> 00:14:46,952 Wait. How did you know that? 376 00:14:47,121 --> 00:14:48,362 Otis: You're my hero. 377 00:14:48,363 --> 00:14:50,198 I have your posters all over my room 378 00:14:50,199 --> 00:14:51,550 and your action figures, too. 379 00:14:51,551 --> 00:14:53,385 Flute: I don't have any action figures. 380 00:14:53,386 --> 00:14:55,887 Otis: I just took my John Wick and melted it... 381 00:14:56,055 --> 00:14:57,388 for a long while. 382 00:14:57,389 --> 00:14:59,616 Flute: Well, to get out of here, we would need 383 00:14:59,617 --> 00:15:03,302 a John Wick arsenal of firepower. That's it! 384 00:15:03,471 --> 00:15:05,563 [Whispering] 385 00:15:05,564 --> 00:15:07,399 Otis: You're not saying anything. 386 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:08,959 Flute: Do you really think detectives 387 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,010 are saying something when they do this? 388 00:15:11,129 --> 00:15:13,646 [Dance music] 389 00:15:13,798 --> 00:15:16,741 Laser tag player: Cover me, honey. I'm going in. 390 00:15:16,892 --> 00:15:19,076 [Buzzer sounds twice] 391 00:15:19,228 --> 00:15:20,560 [Buzzer sounds] Really? 392 00:15:20,729 --> 00:15:23,563 Announcer: Ooh, player 3, you been hit, girl. 393 00:15:23,658 --> 00:15:27,734 Player 3: Well, I got to sashay away. Agh! 394 00:15:27,754 --> 00:15:29,253 [Air horn blows] 395 00:15:29,254 --> 00:15:31,498 Marrissaa: Set your phasers to tuck because we'll have 396 00:15:31,499 --> 00:15:34,500 so much more from Lazer Drag after the break. 397 00:15:34,594 --> 00:15:35,644 ? 398 00:15:35,670 --> 00:15:37,744 [Harmony growling softly] 399 00:15:37,913 --> 00:15:39,655 [Marrissaa laughs] 400 00:15:39,656 --> 00:15:42,008 Mr. Flesh: OK, here's the plan: Let's start a rumor 401 00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:43,342 that she's QAnon. 402 00:15:43,585 --> 00:15:45,828 Ooh! Even better! We out her for attending 403 00:15:45,997 --> 00:15:48,497 one of Louis C.K.'s first shows back! 404 00:15:48,590 --> 00:15:52,001 I'm sorry. Uh, does that say "anthrax"? 405 00:15:52,002 --> 00:15:53,837 Harmony: Yeah. I did a story on the dark web 406 00:15:53,838 --> 00:15:57,431 opening up a brick and mortar, and it was in the gift bag. 407 00:15:57,525 --> 00:16:00,192 Mr. Flesh: You're not trying to kill her, are you? 408 00:16:00,361 --> 00:16:01,844 Harmony: No. Of course not! 409 00:16:01,845 --> 00:16:04,681 I just want to paralyze her enough, so that the only thing 410 00:16:04,682 --> 00:16:07,452 she can do is write a very short nurse-assisted memoir. 411 00:16:07,453 --> 00:16:09,352 Mr. Flesh: Um, this is starting to feel less like 412 00:16:09,353 --> 00:16:10,629 some good-natured revenge 413 00:16:10,630 --> 00:16:12,689 and more like a straight up Lifetime movie. 414 00:16:12,690 --> 00:16:15,357 Harmony: Jeez. Where did the fun Mr. Flesh go, 415 00:16:15,376 --> 00:16:18,285 the guy who makes my son do all those terrible things? 416 00:16:18,379 --> 00:16:21,530 Mr. Flesh: I'm chaos, not darkness, baby. 417 00:16:21,623 --> 00:16:23,733 I may give him a Costco sample of anarchy, 418 00:16:23,868 --> 00:16:25,625 but Stan's decisions are his own. 419 00:16:25,626 --> 00:16:27,554 Harmony: What are you saying, this is my idea? 420 00:16:27,555 --> 00:16:29,963 Mr. Flesh: Look in the disco ball, honey. 421 00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:31,557 [Harmony gasps] 422 00:16:31,651 --> 00:16:34,601 Mr. Flesh: At least in here, it looks like a creative choice. 423 00:16:34,729 --> 00:16:37,488 Harmony: So you're saying maybe I should be OK 424 00:16:37,639 --> 00:16:41,826 reporting on psychos because I kind of am one. 425 00:16:41,995 --> 00:16:43,769 Wow. You're good. 426 00:16:43,921 --> 00:16:48,833 Mr. Flesh: Yep! This is exactly how I intended this to go. 427 00:16:48,834 --> 00:16:50,485 [Buzzer sounds, player groans] 428 00:16:50,486 --> 00:16:53,170 Marrissaa: We're only three broken ankles in- 429 00:16:53,171 --> 00:16:55,007 Cameraman: Oh, my gosh! She's hurt. 430 00:16:55,008 --> 00:16:56,340 Is anyone here a reporter? 431 00:16:56,567 --> 00:17:01,253 Mr. Flesh: Tie up your bathrobe and get out there. 432 00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:03,590 Harmony: While it may just look like a fun night out, 433 00:17:03,591 --> 00:17:07,076 Lazer Drag is also an important lesson in sisterhood 434 00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:09,745 that teaches us it's way more fun to shoot each other 435 00:17:09,838 --> 00:17:12,915 in the face than it is to stab each other in the back. 436 00:17:12,933 --> 00:17:15,100 I'm Harmony Flute. And now the weather. 437 00:17:15,194 --> 00:17:18,254 Take it away, Immunocompromised Gabe. 438 00:17:18,272 --> 00:17:19,772 Oh, no. Really? 439 00:17:19,924 --> 00:17:25,018 ? 440 00:17:25,187 --> 00:17:30,541 [Both whistle] 441 00:17:30,768 --> 00:17:32,284 Man: Detective Flute! 442 00:17:32,436 --> 00:17:34,246 Are you here to set us free so that we 443 00:17:34,397 --> 00:17:36,029 can finally kill ourselves? 444 00:17:36,049 --> 00:17:37,606 Flute: Wow. That's...dark. 445 00:17:37,607 --> 00:17:40,126 When criminals throw evidence in the volcano, 446 00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:41,719 where do they put it? 447 00:17:41,888 --> 00:17:45,556 ? 448 00:17:45,725 --> 00:17:48,059 [Alarm sounds, Flute whistles] 449 00:17:48,286 --> 00:17:50,286 ? 450 00:17:50,396 --> 00:17:52,897 Flute: Looks like all our cold cases 451 00:17:53,048 --> 00:17:55,066 just got a lot warmer. 452 00:17:55,293 --> 00:17:59,128 ? 453 00:17:59,297 --> 00:18:01,572 [Rifles are armed] 454 00:18:01,723 --> 00:18:03,699 ? 455 00:18:03,965 --> 00:18:07,470 Man: If I turned you in, they promised 456 00:18:07,471 --> 00:18:08,671 they'd let me off myself. 457 00:18:08,730 --> 00:18:10,247 Flute: Gotta hand it to 'em. 458 00:18:10,248 --> 00:18:12,475 They really know how to incentivize their employees. 459 00:18:12,476 --> 00:18:13,584 ? 460 00:18:13,811 --> 00:18:15,621 Harmony: Who knew getting revenge 461 00:18:15,622 --> 00:18:17,647 with my son's imaginary skeleton friend could be so much fun? 462 00:18:17,648 --> 00:18:19,515 Mr. Flesh: And who knew middle-aged mothers are 463 00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:22,167 even more psychotic than their preteen kids? 464 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:25,412 [Both laugh, then sigh] 465 00:18:25,656 --> 00:18:28,099 Harmony: The cough syrup must be wearing off. 466 00:18:28,326 --> 00:18:29,825 You're getting fuzzier 467 00:18:29,826 --> 00:18:32,086 than a non-molestation-involved camp memory. 468 00:18:32,087 --> 00:18:33,771 Will I ever see you again? 469 00:18:33,940 --> 00:18:38,633 Mr. Flesh: I'm always a tiny plastic cup of dark syrup away. 470 00:18:38,836 --> 00:18:39,886 ? 471 00:18:39,887 --> 00:18:40,946 [Door opens] 472 00:18:40,947 --> 00:18:42,429 Stan: Sorry, Mom. 473 00:18:42,430 --> 00:18:44,691 I tried to make new friends like you wanted me to, 474 00:18:44,692 --> 00:18:45,952 but they were kind of mean. 475 00:18:46,026 --> 00:18:48,452 Harmony: That's OK. You still have Mr. Flesh. 476 00:18:48,621 --> 00:18:49,954 Stan: Wait. You mean it? 477 00:18:49,955 --> 00:18:52,624 Harmony: I'd rather you have a fake friend that's real 478 00:18:52,625 --> 00:18:55,033 than a real friend that's fake. Go on. 479 00:18:55,202 --> 00:18:57,703 He's over... [Wind gusts] 480 00:18:57,855 --> 00:18:58,963 there? 481 00:18:58,964 --> 00:19:01,133 Mr. Flesh: Did you hear that, Stand Your Ground? 482 00:19:01,134 --> 00:19:03,359 Our love isn't forbidden anymore. 483 00:19:03,452 --> 00:19:06,286 Now let's go to the drugstore and put faint lines 484 00:19:06,455 --> 00:19:08,973 on the home pregnancy tests to celebrate. 485 00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:14,887 ? 486 00:19:14,981 --> 00:19:18,040 Otis: Ow! Mr. Unger, when my parents find out 487 00:19:18,209 --> 00:19:20,133 what you're up to, it's over. 488 00:19:20,153 --> 00:19:21,877 Screen time, gone. 489 00:19:21,896 --> 00:19:24,655 Mr. Unger: Oh, by all means, tell them. 490 00:19:24,824 --> 00:19:27,658 ? 491 00:19:27,885 --> 00:19:31,403 Otis: Mr. and Mrs. Mom and Dad? You knew about this? 492 00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:33,665 Mr. Volcanowitz: Where do you think all of our money 493 00:19:33,666 --> 00:19:35,408 comes from? It's the perfect business model: 494 00:19:35,409 --> 00:19:37,939 free merchandise, free labor, and free shipping... 495 00:19:38,062 --> 00:19:39,912 on orders of $150 or more, 496 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,247 and it'll all be yours one day. 497 00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:44,325 Otis: But you said I could be a detective. 498 00:19:44,326 --> 00:19:46,011 Mrs. Volcanowitz: Please! You're rich. 499 00:19:46,012 --> 00:19:47,495 You can't be a poor, gross police person. 500 00:19:47,496 --> 00:19:49,246 Flute: That's where you're wrong. 501 00:19:49,247 --> 00:19:51,074 This kid is a born detective, and I should know. 502 00:19:51,075 --> 00:19:52,257 I was born one, too. 503 00:19:52,258 --> 00:19:54,744 My father was on the force and my grandfather 504 00:19:54,745 --> 00:19:57,563 and his fath-Oh, my God. Am I a nepo-baby? 505 00:19:57,748 --> 00:20:00,006 Otis: Sorry, Flute, but I can't risk it. 506 00:20:00,175 --> 00:20:02,693 Take him back down there. Flute: Otis? No! 507 00:20:02,862 --> 00:20:04,269 Otis: You know too much, 508 00:20:04,270 --> 00:20:06,756 and nothing is more important than very wealthy family. 509 00:20:06,757 --> 00:20:08,273 Mr. Volcanowitz: It's true. 510 00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:10,035 We can't have you out there knowing about 511 00:20:10,036 --> 00:20:11,870 the human trafficking, indentured servitude, 512 00:20:11,871 --> 00:20:16,373 conspiracy to impersonate a volcano- 513 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:18,350 Kang: Freeze. You're under arrest. 514 00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:19,860 Flute: How did you know we were in here? 515 00:20:19,861 --> 00:20:22,105 Mr. Volcanowitz on recording: ...human trafficking, 516 00:20:22,106 --> 00:20:23,306 indentured servitude, 517 00:20:23,441 --> 00:20:25,441 conspiracy to impersonate a volcano. 518 00:20:25,442 --> 00:20:27,944 Mrs. Volcanowitz: Otis, you're making a huge mistake. 519 00:20:27,945 --> 00:20:29,554 You can kiss easy street good-bye, 520 00:20:29,555 --> 00:20:32,130 and I mean the actual street we left you in our will. 521 00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:33,892 You'll never get another dollar from us. 522 00:20:33,893 --> 00:20:35,710 Flute: Don't worry, kid. You'll be fine. 523 00:20:35,711 --> 00:20:37,562 You can make some decent coin at Grimsburg PD. 524 00:20:37,563 --> 00:20:39,638 I mean, don't get divorced or have a kid 525 00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:42,383 or develop a crippling addiction to daily fantasy sports. 526 00:20:42,384 --> 00:20:44,309 Who are the Sparks playing tonight? 527 00:20:44,478 --> 00:20:47,053 Otis: Are you saying that I can have my badge back? 528 00:20:47,073 --> 00:20:48,464 Flute: You sure can, kid. 529 00:20:48,465 --> 00:20:50,909 Kang: Yeah, it's really not your job to decide that. 530 00:20:50,910 --> 00:20:52,493 Flute: You sure can. 531 00:20:57,141 --> 00:20:58,657 Flute: Talk about a crazy day. 532 00:20:58,826 --> 00:21:01,752 I experienced all three of my emotions, including horny. 533 00:21:01,921 --> 00:21:04,279 Kang: And I reset the thermostat back to 62. 534 00:21:04,423 --> 00:21:05,831 Ahh. 535 00:21:05,832 --> 00:21:08,485 Wynona: And I've accepted that I'm the second youngest. 536 00:21:08,486 --> 00:21:10,595 It's like being the middle child of the office, 537 00:21:10,596 --> 00:21:13,323 not that anyone's paying attention to me anymore. Hmph! 538 00:21:13,324 --> 00:21:15,491 Otis: And I've got a ton of paperwork to do 539 00:21:15,601 --> 00:21:16,934 on these cold cases. 540 00:21:17,161 --> 00:21:19,161 I solved 143 murders today. 541 00:21:19,254 --> 00:21:20,304 That makes me 542 00:21:20,498 --> 00:21:21,998 number one on the leaderboard. 543 00:21:22,090 --> 00:21:23,165 Flute: Hold on. 544 00:21:23,166 --> 00:21:24,592 We both found that volcano. 545 00:21:24,593 --> 00:21:26,278 Martinez: Technically, Otis found it first. 546 00:21:26,279 --> 00:21:28,004 Flute: How dare you take his side! 547 00:21:28,005 --> 00:21:29,875 Do you know who my father is? [Yells] 548 00:21:30,024 --> 00:21:31,639 [Boxes and contents thud] 549 00:21:31,842 --> 00:21:34,343 ? 550 00:21:34,344 --> 00:21:35,626 Person: Bento. [Cheering] 551 00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:40,177 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 41770

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