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00:00:02,204 --> 00:00:03,407
[Classical music playing]
2
00:00:03,541 --> 00:00:05,244
[Laughter]
3
00:00:05,377 --> 00:00:07,114
Mayor Dilquez: Thank you
for being my plus-one.
4
00:00:07,214 --> 00:00:09,920
My regular shaman is full-time
with Aaron Rodgers now.
5
00:00:10,087 --> 00:00:12,926
Do you have something
for public speaking?
6
00:00:13,093 --> 00:00:14,963
Shaman: Be careful.
7
00:00:15,097 --> 00:00:17,803
Even a microdose of this could--
8
00:00:17,970 --> 00:00:18,971
[Bottle breaks]
9
00:00:19,105 --> 00:00:20,107
Man: There he is--
10
00:00:20,241 --> 00:00:22,444
our soon-to-be re-elected mayor.
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00:00:22,512 --> 00:00:25,384
Mayor Dilquez: Mr. and Mrs.
Volcanowitz, my top donors.
12
00:00:25,484 --> 00:00:27,556
You look wealthier than ever.
13
00:00:27,656 --> 00:00:29,458
Mr. Volcanowitz: Everyone is so
excited to help you defeat that
14
00:00:29,559 --> 00:00:32,398
talking goose running
against you, especially Mother.
15
00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:35,171
Mrs. Volcanowitz: Is it true
you're dropping a new diss track
16
00:00:35,237 --> 00:00:36,773
about the Goose tonight?
17
00:00:36,874 --> 00:00:39,980
Mayor Dilquez: Someone's been
reading "WorldstarPolitics."
18
00:00:40,113 --> 00:00:43,387
Ha ha!
[Mr. Volcanowitz laughs]
19
00:00:43,487 --> 00:00:44,856
Mayor Dilquez: See? I'm fine.
20
00:00:44,923 --> 00:00:49,398
[Series of different chords
and noises plays rapidly]
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00:00:49,498 --> 00:00:53,540
[Microphone feedback,
person coughs]
22
00:00:53,641 --> 00:00:57,247
Mayor Dilquez: ♪ Yo, Goose,
is it true you go young? ♪
23
00:00:57,314 --> 00:01:00,755
♪ I heard that cryin' goslings
are the only way you'll-- ♪
24
00:01:04,461 --> 00:01:06,901
[Guests scream]
25
00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:09,171
Mayor Dilquez:
Not a fan of hip-hop?
26
00:01:10,575 --> 00:01:12,211
[Theme music playing]
27
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♪
28
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[Crack]
29
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Martinez: And that is why
30
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the clown car limit is
now 30 people.
31
00:01:35,658 --> 00:01:37,662
Goodbye Bongo, Honko, Bazinko,
Winky, and Leonard.
32
00:01:37,729 --> 00:01:40,534
May their hilarious souls
rest in peace.
33
00:01:40,634 --> 00:01:41,771
[Honk honk]
34
00:01:41,938 --> 00:01:43,439
And, lastly, we have
a new detective
35
00:01:43,574 --> 00:01:45,411
joining the department today.
Any questions? No. Good.
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00:01:45,545 --> 00:01:47,180
Dismissed.
[Flute, Summers, Wynona gasp]
37
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Flute: You can't drop
a bomb like that and leave.
38
00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:50,555
This isn't the bank across
the street's family bathroom.
39
00:01:50,622 --> 00:01:52,258
Who is it?
Martinez: Don't know.
40
00:01:52,325 --> 00:01:53,895
Haven't met him.
Wynona: I hope he's hot.
41
00:01:53,962 --> 00:01:55,196
Summers: Yeah,
I hope he's super-hot.
42
00:01:55,297 --> 00:01:56,633
[Chuckles weakly]
43
00:01:56,767 --> 00:01:58,637
Martinez: Well, as a favor,
the mayor asked
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00:01:58,771 --> 00:02:01,643
if I would hire the son of his
top donor, the Volcanowitzes.
45
00:02:01,710 --> 00:02:03,346
Flute: The new guy is
a Volcanowitz?
46
00:02:03,446 --> 00:02:04,616
Summers: A Volcano-whatz?
47
00:02:04,683 --> 00:02:06,485
Wynona: The Volcanowitzes
are, like,
48
00:02:06,586 --> 00:02:08,323
the richest people in Grimsburg.
They own the volcano.
49
00:02:08,390 --> 00:02:09,693
Announcer: Do you have
large furniture
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00:02:09,793 --> 00:02:11,831
you no longer want? Volcano!
51
00:02:11,897 --> 00:02:14,870
Don't know what to do
with all those old rollerblades?
52
00:02:14,937 --> 00:02:16,373
Volcano!
53
00:02:16,473 --> 00:02:18,310
Have a hard drive you claim
someone else filled
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00:02:18,377 --> 00:02:21,750
with a bunch of
"weird stuff"? Volcano!
55
00:02:21,817 --> 00:02:22,952
♪
56
00:02:23,052 --> 00:02:25,424
Kang: All right.
That hot volcano is
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00:02:25,491 --> 00:02:27,495
why we have so many cold cases.
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00:02:27,596 --> 00:02:29,365
Criminals keep dumping
evidence in there, and they
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00:02:29,499 --> 00:02:30,902
refuse to do
anything to stop it,
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00:02:31,002 --> 00:02:33,675
not to mention the extremely
high number of suicides,
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00:02:33,808 --> 00:02:35,745
but that's God's problem.
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00:02:35,812 --> 00:02:37,649
Flute: Our problem is
some nepo-baby thinks he
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00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:39,786
can jump the line because
his parents are rich.
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00:02:39,853 --> 00:02:41,423
Wynona: As the youngest person
in the office,
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00:02:41,557 --> 00:02:43,093
I hate nepo-babies
because they're
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00:02:43,226 --> 00:02:44,663
taking my generation's jobs.
67
00:02:44,763 --> 00:02:47,134
But as the poorest person
in the office, I would love
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00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:50,508
to marry into wealth,
so I gotta go change.
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00:02:50,574 --> 00:02:52,244
Martinez:
He's not just some noob.
70
00:02:52,377 --> 00:02:55,150
I hear he has his own P.I.
business with a 100% solve rate.
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00:02:55,284 --> 00:02:57,989
Plus, the mayor has been
very good to us, so I feel
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00:02:58,156 --> 00:02:59,626
that we should give
his guy a shot.
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00:02:59,726 --> 00:03:01,731
Kang: And...?
Martinez: And he promised that
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00:03:01,864 --> 00:03:04,870
he'd make me commissioner.
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00:03:05,037 --> 00:03:07,040
♪
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Flute: You hired
someone older than Kang?
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00:03:09,178 --> 00:03:11,750
Man: Oh, no.
I work for the Volcanowitzes.
78
00:03:11,917 --> 00:03:13,654
I'm here to drop him off.
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00:03:13,721 --> 00:03:15,357
Otis: Otis Volcanowitz--
kid detective
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00:03:15,424 --> 00:03:16,827
reporting for duty.
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00:03:16,893 --> 00:03:19,933
What time is snack at,
and when do I get my gun?
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[Slurping]
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00:03:21,971 --> 00:03:24,876
♪
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[Sneezes]
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[Sneezes, gasps]
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Woman: You're sick.
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00:03:32,925 --> 00:03:35,330
Harmony: I'm not the one
who steals my panties, Steve--
88
00:03:35,463 --> 00:03:37,803
Ugh. Sorry, Marrissaa.
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00:03:37,936 --> 00:03:40,074
My ears are clogged
and you sounded like my stalker.
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00:03:40,207 --> 00:03:41,442
[Sneezes]
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00:03:41,577 --> 00:03:43,379
Marrissaa: Aw,
you should go home and rest.
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00:03:43,446 --> 00:03:44,883
Harmony: I can't go home.
93
00:03:45,017 --> 00:03:47,889
I'm covering the opening of
the new Lazer Drag arena,
94
00:03:47,990 --> 00:03:50,895
and it's the first non-murder
story I've gotten in months.
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00:03:51,028 --> 00:03:52,932
Marrissaa: Ay, but if
you stick around, you might be
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00:03:53,065 --> 00:03:54,569
the murder story.
You don't want
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00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:56,607
to kill Immunocompromised Gabe
the weatherman.
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00:03:56,707 --> 00:03:59,713
Gabe: ...and a high of 67
means a beautiful day
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00:03:59,813 --> 00:04:04,288
for those of you who
aren't allergic to sunshine.
100
00:04:04,455 --> 00:04:07,795
Why do you hate me, God?
101
00:04:07,895 --> 00:04:09,331
Harmony: Maybe you're right.
102
00:04:09,431 --> 00:04:11,737
Just promise me you
won't let anyone take my story.
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00:04:11,871 --> 00:04:14,441
Marrissaa:
Over my dead perfect body.
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00:04:14,509 --> 00:04:16,346
Harmony: Thanks.
You're a good friend.
105
00:04:16,479 --> 00:04:19,351
Oh, but don't eat the dip.
106
00:04:19,485 --> 00:04:20,989
Otis: And once I realized
our gardener was
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00:04:21,056 --> 00:04:23,627
actually a top architect in
his home country, I deduced he
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00:04:23,761 --> 00:04:25,932
must have used the blueprints
from our house to sneak in.
109
00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:28,770
And that's how I solved
the case of the stolen lizard.
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00:04:28,870 --> 00:04:30,875
Now for the case of the
missing muffin, I'll tell you
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00:04:30,975 --> 00:04:33,079
our maid did it first
and then explain how I knew,
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"Poker Face" style.
113
00:04:34,850 --> 00:04:36,452
Flute: Can't believe
this nepo-baby thinks he
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00:04:36,586 --> 00:04:38,056
can just buy his badge.
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00:04:38,123 --> 00:04:39,926
I mean, we all had to buy
our badges due to budget cuts,
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00:04:39,993 --> 00:04:41,731
but that was after we attended
the police academy,
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00:04:41,831 --> 00:04:43,432
passed a field test,
and trained our bodies
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00:04:43,499 --> 00:04:45,738
to digest pastrami
as a vegetable.
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00:04:45,838 --> 00:04:48,276
Wynona:
Welcome to the department,
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00:04:48,376 --> 00:04:50,480
Officer Volcanowitz.
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00:04:50,615 --> 00:04:53,353
Kang: Wrong one.
Volcanowitz is the kid.
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00:04:54,288 --> 00:04:56,359
Wynona: So I put on this dead
debutante's dress for nothing?
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00:04:56,492 --> 00:04:57,896
Kang: You should be happy.
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00:04:58,029 --> 00:05:00,233
You're not the youngest person
working here anymore.
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00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:02,104
Wynona: Yeah,
but if I'm not the youngest...
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00:05:02,204 --> 00:05:03,674
then what am I?
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00:05:03,741 --> 00:05:05,612
Otis: You're trouble
with a capital T,
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00:05:05,745 --> 00:05:07,783
which I can write in cursive
if you give me lined paper.
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00:05:07,916 --> 00:05:10,086
Let me get your digits
in my super expensive SAT phone
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00:05:10,220 --> 00:05:12,191
my folks gave me
for my half-birthday.
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00:05:12,257 --> 00:05:13,994
Wynona: They bought you
a satellite phone?
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00:05:14,028 --> 00:05:16,098
Otis: They actually
bought me the company.
133
00:05:16,199 --> 00:05:17,803
[Wynona scoffs]
Otis: What's her story?
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00:05:17,903 --> 00:05:20,908
Summers: She's taken!
Taken dance lessons.
135
00:05:20,975 --> 00:05:23,680
Otis: I can tell.
Look at the legs on that one.
136
00:05:23,814 --> 00:05:25,985
I could put my feet
on her feet and walk around
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00:05:26,051 --> 00:05:27,522
like Frankenstein for days.
138
00:05:27,655 --> 00:05:29,693
Kang:
Who touched the thermostat?
139
00:05:29,759 --> 00:05:31,395
Otis: It's freezing in here.
140
00:05:31,530 --> 00:05:32,799
Maybe don't wear
a sleeping bag inside.
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00:05:32,932 --> 00:05:35,003
Martinez: Come on.
Let's go get you that gun.
142
00:05:35,103 --> 00:05:37,240
Otis: I really need
one with a grenade launcher.
143
00:05:37,341 --> 00:05:38,610
Thank you so much.
144
00:05:38,710 --> 00:05:40,480
Flute, Kang, Wynona:
That kid has to go.
145
00:05:40,515 --> 00:05:42,351
Summers: That kid has to die.
146
00:05:42,418 --> 00:05:44,623
"Go." I said, "Go."
147
00:05:44,690 --> 00:05:46,459
♪
148
00:05:46,527 --> 00:05:48,062
[Thermometer beeps]
149
00:05:48,195 --> 00:05:50,501
Harmony: Ugh! You know,
you're the one who got me sick.
150
00:05:50,635 --> 00:05:54,408
Why did you have to lick every
elevator button in the ICU?
151
00:05:54,542 --> 00:05:56,713
Stan: It wasn't my idea.
I was dared.
152
00:05:56,813 --> 00:05:59,886
Harmony: By who? Mr. Flesh?
Ohh. I have had enough.
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00:06:00,019 --> 00:06:01,790
You need real friends,
154
00:06:01,856 --> 00:06:04,262
so I signed you up
for the beach dirty-up today
155
00:06:04,362 --> 00:06:06,934
without your imaginary friend.
156
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,504
Mr. Flesh: You blondster!
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00:06:08,571 --> 00:06:10,407
Stan: [Sighs] OK.
158
00:06:10,508 --> 00:06:11,777
Harmony: Great. That's settled.
159
00:06:11,877 --> 00:06:13,781
Mr. Flesh: It's fine.
I hate the beach anyway.
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00:06:13,881 --> 00:06:16,653
Everyone's so jelly
of my thigh gap.
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♪
162
00:06:19,660 --> 00:06:20,828
Flute: We demand you fire Otis.
163
00:06:20,995 --> 00:06:23,099
He keeps saying "Pew!"
when he pretends
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00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:24,301
to shoot his gun.
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00:06:24,401 --> 00:06:25,972
Everyone knows the right
noise is...Pow!
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00:06:26,105 --> 00:06:28,410
Pkkk, pkkk, pkkk, pkkk.
[Imitates richochet noise]
167
00:06:28,443 --> 00:06:29,880
Martinez: No chance.
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00:06:29,980 --> 00:06:32,518
That little nepo-baby is
my ticket to the big time.
169
00:06:32,585 --> 00:06:35,089
Too Captain Crunch-y
for the Commish?
170
00:06:35,223 --> 00:06:36,993
I need a mirror.
171
00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:40,199
Kang: Ugh. Picked the wrong day
to wear my under-puffer. Huh.
172
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,137
Wynona: These snowflakes
are jeopardizing
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00:06:42,270 --> 00:06:43,774
everything we stand for.
174
00:06:43,874 --> 00:06:44,876
I own a gun now?
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00:06:44,943 --> 00:06:46,379
Flute: Maybe she doesn't
have to fire him.
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00:06:46,446 --> 00:06:47,949
We just have to get him to quit.
177
00:06:48,083 --> 00:06:50,688
Let's see how he handles
the case of the missing bedtime
178
00:06:50,754 --> 00:06:52,592
because we're gonna show him
179
00:06:52,725 --> 00:06:55,197
the Grimsburg night shift.
180
00:06:55,330 --> 00:06:59,205
[Harmony blowing nose]
181
00:06:59,372 --> 00:07:00,842
[Applause on TV]
182
00:07:00,942 --> 00:07:04,248
Man on TV: Welcome back to
four seated women and a man.
183
00:07:04,348 --> 00:07:06,853
Ladies, let's talk
about our weekends.
184
00:07:07,020 --> 00:07:09,224
Harmony: I like how
the four women are approachable,
185
00:07:09,324 --> 00:07:11,930
yet no-nonsense.
Mr. Flesh: Me, too.
186
00:07:12,064 --> 00:07:13,834
And I like how the man
is nonthreatening
187
00:07:13,935 --> 00:07:16,038
and has no power.
188
00:07:18,577 --> 00:07:20,013
Harmony: Aah!
Mr. Flesh: Aah!
189
00:07:20,113 --> 00:07:21,916
[Soft thud on window]
Harmony: Not now, Stalker Steve!
190
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,954
Stalker Steve:
Oh, I can come back.
191
00:07:28,095 --> 00:07:33,239
♪
192
00:07:33,372 --> 00:07:35,511
Flute: Ready
for your training day, rook?
193
00:07:35,611 --> 00:07:37,548
Otis: If you're trying
to scare me, don't bother.
194
00:07:37,649 --> 00:07:39,251
I've seen it all.
195
00:07:39,384 --> 00:07:41,089
My safe search
is set to "moderate."
196
00:07:41,222 --> 00:07:42,625
Flute: Well, you're about to
grow up real fast
197
00:07:42,725 --> 00:07:44,094
on these here streets.
198
00:07:44,261 --> 00:07:45,631
What type of
diapers you wearing?
199
00:07:45,764 --> 00:07:47,234
Otis: [Scoffs] Yeah, right!
200
00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:48,369
Flute:
Oh, you think I'm messing?
201
00:07:48,503 --> 00:07:49,906
Because I am messing.
202
00:07:50,006 --> 00:07:52,177
I'm Debra Messing,
and I'm about to grace my pants
203
00:07:52,277 --> 00:07:54,516
with a big ol' mess
from all the horrific things
204
00:07:54,616 --> 00:07:57,153
I see out here, front and back.
205
00:07:57,287 --> 00:07:58,189
[Otis laughs]
206
00:07:58,289 --> 00:08:00,126
[Brakes screech]
Flute: You think that's funny?
207
00:08:00,193 --> 00:08:02,732
Waddling home with a soggy bowl
of cereal in your undies,
208
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:04,067
that's a laugh?
209
00:08:04,201 --> 00:08:06,071
Smelling like a poop peed
all over you, that's humorous?
210
00:08:06,172 --> 00:08:08,275
Having so many logs in your
pants, the U.S. Forest Service
211
00:08:08,375 --> 00:08:10,881
just assigned you a Ranger?
That's a tap-back ha ha?
212
00:08:10,948 --> 00:08:13,654
Yeah, well, get all your laughs
out now, son,
213
00:08:13,721 --> 00:08:17,662
because tonight, you won't have
a single thing to laugh at.
214
00:08:17,728 --> 00:08:19,464
Otis: I can handle that.
215
00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:21,603
I've seen "Bookie."
216
00:08:21,704 --> 00:08:24,408
Harmony:
Aah! What the hell are you?
217
00:08:24,475 --> 00:08:26,880
Mr. Flesh: Have you not seen
your son's countless drawings
218
00:08:26,980 --> 00:08:30,555
of me mostly riding
well-endowed horses?
219
00:08:30,655 --> 00:08:32,525
I'm Mr. Flesh.
220
00:08:32,659 --> 00:08:34,796
Harmony: Uhh! No.
221
00:08:34,963 --> 00:08:36,833
You're not real, not real.
[Light switch clicks]
222
00:08:36,967 --> 00:08:39,305
Mr. Flesh: Who still
plays apples to apples?
223
00:08:39,372 --> 00:08:40,875
[Harmony screams]
224
00:08:40,975 --> 00:08:43,747
Mr. Flesh: You never saw
the drawings of Seabaguette?
225
00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:45,751
Harmony: I'm fine.
This is just a hallucination
226
00:08:45,885 --> 00:08:47,889
from drinking
Flute's special cough syrup.
227
00:08:47,989 --> 00:08:50,862
Marrissaa on TV:
I'm Marrissaa Marrimmbaa,
228
00:08:50,928 --> 00:08:54,068
and join me later as I report
live from Grimsburg's
229
00:08:54,168 --> 00:08:56,606
very own Lazer Drag arena.
230
00:08:56,740 --> 00:08:58,476
Mr. Flesh:
Hey! Isn't that your job?
231
00:08:58,577 --> 00:08:59,812
[Harmony growls]
232
00:08:59,913 --> 00:09:02,317
Mr. Flesh:
Oh! You got Marrimmbaa-ed!
233
00:09:02,451 --> 00:09:04,723
[Marimba music]
234
00:09:04,823 --> 00:09:06,693
[Mr. Flesh chuckles]
235
00:09:06,794 --> 00:09:09,699
♪
236
00:09:09,833 --> 00:09:12,505
Kang: Wife just left him.
Refuses to negotiate.
237
00:09:12,605 --> 00:09:14,041
Not gonna end well.
238
00:09:14,141 --> 00:09:16,478
Seems like the perfect job
for Otis.
239
00:09:16,613 --> 00:09:19,384
Otis: You think a guy
with a gun is scary?
240
00:09:19,484 --> 00:09:21,488
Try memorizing
the 12 times table.
241
00:09:21,623 --> 00:09:23,226
Hi. I'm Otis.
242
00:09:23,292 --> 00:09:25,363
Man with gun: Get back
or I will blow his brains out!
243
00:09:25,463 --> 00:09:27,034
Otis: Why?
Man with gun: Why?!
244
00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:29,237
Because my wife left me.
Otis: Why?
245
00:09:29,404 --> 00:09:31,843
Man with gun: 'Cause
she's tired of me or something.
246
00:09:31,943 --> 00:09:33,113
Otis: Why?
247
00:09:33,246 --> 00:09:34,983
Man with gun: I guess I always
am out with my boys.
248
00:09:35,083 --> 00:09:36,418
Otis: Why?
249
00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:38,355
Man with gun: Because I don't
know how to relate to women.
250
00:09:38,489 --> 00:09:39,859
Otis: Why?
Man with gun: You're right.
251
00:09:39,993 --> 00:09:43,232
I'm the problem.
I want to change. Uh!
252
00:09:43,366 --> 00:09:45,738
Otis: That was easy.
What's next?
253
00:09:45,838 --> 00:09:47,374
Wynona: Wow. That was kind of
impressive.
254
00:09:47,508 --> 00:09:48,977
Flute: What?
That's not detectiving.
255
00:09:49,077 --> 00:09:51,049
That's called being
an annoying kid.
256
00:09:51,149 --> 00:09:54,623
You can't solve a case
just by being a kid.
257
00:09:54,756 --> 00:09:58,229
But you can solve a kid
just by being the case.
258
00:09:58,329 --> 00:10:00,500
Summers: I love it when he says
the same thing
259
00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:02,004
but reverses the words.
260
00:10:02,137 --> 00:10:03,741
I wish I could do that.
261
00:10:03,808 --> 00:10:07,615
But I could do wish
that I could can.
262
00:10:07,749 --> 00:10:09,986
Nope. That's why he's the king.
263
00:10:10,119 --> 00:10:11,255
[Owl hoots]
264
00:10:11,388 --> 00:10:12,925
Harmony:
How could Marrissaa take
265
00:10:13,025 --> 00:10:14,930
my one human interest story?
266
00:10:15,030 --> 00:10:16,767
Mr. Flesh:
Especially with that accent.
267
00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:18,135
[Rolls Rs]
Her Rs...
268
00:10:18,235 --> 00:10:19,772
are faker than her Ds.
269
00:10:19,839 --> 00:10:21,944
Harmony: Hey. That's my best
friend you're talking about.
270
00:10:22,044 --> 00:10:23,947
Mr. Flesh:
My bad. I'll back off.
271
00:10:24,081 --> 00:10:25,651
Harmony: No, I just needed
to say that
272
00:10:25,718 --> 00:10:27,955
to feel better about
trashing her. Carry on.
273
00:10:28,122 --> 00:10:29,659
Mr. Flesh: I don't want to tell
you what to do.
274
00:10:29,692 --> 00:10:30,961
That's not my business.
275
00:10:31,128 --> 00:10:34,468
But if I were you,
I'd get some revenge.
276
00:10:34,569 --> 00:10:36,005
Harmony: What...
277
00:10:36,172 --> 00:10:37,775
are we waiting for?!
278
00:10:37,909 --> 00:10:39,444
Hell yeah, Fleshy.
Let's do this.
279
00:10:39,512 --> 00:10:41,482
Mr. Flesh: [Gasps]
That was so easy.
280
00:10:41,549 --> 00:10:43,085
Bless you, Mark Harmony.
281
00:10:43,185 --> 00:10:45,056
You are everything
I wish Stan was
282
00:10:45,123 --> 00:10:49,264
but with the haircut of a woman
who sells candles on Etsy.
283
00:10:49,365 --> 00:10:52,003
♪
284
00:10:52,070 --> 00:10:54,074
Summers: What are we doing here?
285
00:10:54,174 --> 00:10:56,312
Flute: I thought Otis
might show us around.
286
00:10:56,446 --> 00:11:00,588
♪
287
00:11:00,721 --> 00:11:01,823
[Bell rings]
288
00:11:01,924 --> 00:11:05,096
♪
289
00:11:05,230 --> 00:11:06,833
Otis: I've actually
never been here before.
290
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:08,169
My parents say
it's too dangerous.
291
00:11:08,303 --> 00:11:09,806
Flute: More dangerous
than your home?
292
00:11:09,940 --> 00:11:11,408
Think of all those
crimes you solved.
293
00:11:11,509 --> 00:11:14,014
Say, tell me about the case
of the missing lizard again.
294
00:11:14,147 --> 00:11:16,018
Otis: Well, I knew Ernest
the gardener had stolen it
295
00:11:16,118 --> 00:11:19,793
when--Ernest?
Ernest: Heh heh. Mister Otis?
296
00:11:19,860 --> 00:11:22,097
Otis: Sandy the maid?
Jed the driver?
297
00:11:22,164 --> 00:11:24,468
Masseusy the masseuse?
What is this?
298
00:11:24,536 --> 00:11:26,873
Flute: This is something even
your parents couldn't afford
299
00:11:27,006 --> 00:11:28,577
to give you--the hard truth.
300
00:11:28,677 --> 00:11:30,213
All those cases you solved,
301
00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:32,150
they were all fake,
paid for by your daddy
302
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:34,923
so his little boy could feel
like a big detective.
303
00:11:35,023 --> 00:11:36,626
Then he shipped them off
to cushier jobs here
304
00:11:36,727 --> 00:11:38,029
to keep 'em quiet.
305
00:11:38,162 --> 00:11:39,765
But, of course,
you never suspected a thing.
306
00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:41,536
And why would you?
You're not a real detective.
307
00:11:41,669 --> 00:11:44,441
You're just a bank account
with a badge.
308
00:11:44,543 --> 00:11:47,247
Otis: I thought maybe I'd found
my niche, and I could spend
309
00:11:47,314 --> 00:11:49,185
the rest of my life
cashing in on it,
310
00:11:49,318 --> 00:11:52,257
like Lin Manuel Miranda
and fast rhythmic talking,
311
00:11:52,324 --> 00:11:56,031
[Voice breaks]
but I guess it was all a lie.
312
00:11:56,131 --> 00:11:58,269
Flute: Wow.
I guess we really just
313
00:11:58,336 --> 00:12:01,643
did crush a kid's dream good!
Wynona: Yes!
314
00:12:01,743 --> 00:12:03,379
Summers: All right!
Kang: We beat a rich kid.
315
00:12:03,445 --> 00:12:05,283
That's pretty much all
you can hope for in this life.
316
00:12:05,417 --> 00:12:07,187
Wynona: Looks like I'm
the youngest again.
317
00:12:07,287 --> 00:12:09,157
Damn. Why did
I throw out my vape?
318
00:12:09,291 --> 00:12:11,495
Flute: That'll teach him to
have any passions whatsoever.
319
00:12:11,596 --> 00:12:12,899
Idiot. Where is he?
320
00:12:12,965 --> 00:12:14,770
I want to call him
an idiot to his face.
321
00:12:14,836 --> 00:12:15,905
Look at him up there.
322
00:12:16,005 --> 00:12:17,473
[As Otis]
"Boo-hoo!
323
00:12:17,608 --> 00:12:19,880
"I just found out
I'm a useless nepo-baby.
324
00:12:19,946 --> 00:12:22,383
Maybe I should kill myself."
325
00:12:23,787 --> 00:12:25,858
[All gasp]
326
00:12:25,925 --> 00:12:27,160
[Imitating Otis]
"This wasn't Flute's fault."
327
00:12:27,327 --> 00:12:29,230
[Regular voice]
You guys heard him.
328
00:12:33,439 --> 00:12:37,515
Flute: Otis! Hold on. I'm...
329
00:12:37,581 --> 00:12:39,317
coming.
330
00:12:39,417 --> 00:12:41,790
God, it's me--Marvin.
331
00:12:41,890 --> 00:12:43,527
I know we only talk
when I want to stop vomiting
332
00:12:43,661 --> 00:12:45,764
off the side of my bed,
but I need you.
333
00:12:45,831 --> 00:12:47,200
I may have played a small role
334
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:48,637
in a rich kid
committing suicide.
335
00:12:48,737 --> 00:12:49,939
A little help?
336
00:12:50,039 --> 00:12:51,408
Is that pigeon a sign?
337
00:12:51,543 --> 00:12:53,112
Do you want me
to go in the lava?
338
00:12:53,212 --> 00:12:54,982
Do you want me dead, God?
Well, now you're dead to me.
339
00:12:55,082 --> 00:12:58,055
I'm going all in on science.
340
00:12:58,156 --> 00:13:01,462
Neil deGrasse Tyson!
The bird is fine.
341
00:13:01,529 --> 00:13:03,566
Farewell, my fond friends
who were always there for me
342
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,203
no matter what.
343
00:13:05,370 --> 00:13:07,942
Wynona: We blame it on Flute.
This was his whole nepo agenda.
344
00:13:08,042 --> 00:13:10,614
Kang: Yeah, yeah, that's good.
We all say that.
345
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:12,985
[Flute shouts]
346
00:13:13,118 --> 00:13:15,691
Wynona: OK.
We pin it on Martinez.
347
00:13:15,791 --> 00:13:18,495
Kang: Yeah, yeah, that's good.
We all say that.
348
00:13:19,832 --> 00:13:22,303
Flute: Whew. Aah!
349
00:13:22,404 --> 00:13:32,224
♪
350
00:13:32,357 --> 00:13:34,461
[Hair dryers whirring]
351
00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:56,438
♪
352
00:13:59,011 --> 00:14:00,413
Flute:
You knew this was down here?
353
00:14:00,514 --> 00:14:03,152
Otis: No, but I had a hunch.
It didn't smell sulfur-y
354
00:14:03,286 --> 00:14:05,858
like the other volcano
we own in Hawaii or Japan,
355
00:14:06,025 --> 00:14:07,528
so I jumped in to investigate.
356
00:14:07,628 --> 00:14:09,398
Flute: That's a solid piece
of detective work.
357
00:14:09,498 --> 00:14:12,437
Privileged but solid.
But why have a fake volcano?
358
00:14:12,538 --> 00:14:14,909
Otis: Because they're
secretly reselling the junk
359
00:14:15,043 --> 00:14:16,612
people throw in here for profit.
360
00:14:16,713 --> 00:14:18,082
And those workers are
actually people
361
00:14:18,182 --> 00:14:19,619
who tried to commit suicide,
362
00:14:19,719 --> 00:14:21,823
but now they're being
held captive as slave labor.
363
00:14:21,957 --> 00:14:24,128
Flute: OK, OK. Now you're just
showing off,
364
00:14:24,194 --> 00:14:25,831
and nobody likes that
in a detective...
365
00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:27,200
I've been told.
366
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,873
Look. There's that guy
who dropped you off.
367
00:14:29,906 --> 00:14:32,043
Otis: Mr. Unger!
[Flute gasps]
368
00:14:32,143 --> 00:14:33,547
Otis: I never trusted him.
369
00:14:33,613 --> 00:14:35,483
We have to get out of here
and tell my parents.
370
00:14:35,550 --> 00:14:37,220
They can fix anything.
371
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:39,024
Flute: There are armed guards at
every door. We'll never get out.
372
00:14:39,158 --> 00:14:40,928
Otis: You didn't give up when
the chocolate factory killer
373
00:14:41,028 --> 00:14:42,665
had you trapped.
374
00:14:42,732 --> 00:14:45,103
Flute: Yeah, well, now I have to
run the entire factory, so--
375
00:14:45,236 --> 00:14:46,907
Wait. How did you know that?
376
00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:48,242
Otis: You're my hero.
377
00:14:48,342 --> 00:14:49,979
I have your posters
all over my room
378
00:14:50,079 --> 00:14:51,348
and your action figures, too.
379
00:14:51,482 --> 00:14:53,219
Flute:
I don't have any action figures.
380
00:14:53,319 --> 00:14:55,858
Otis: I just took
my John Wick and melted it...
381
00:14:55,992 --> 00:14:57,361
for a long while.
382
00:14:57,494 --> 00:14:59,198
Flute: Well, to get out of here,
we would need
383
00:14:59,298 --> 00:15:03,239
a John Wick arsenal
of firepower. That's it!
384
00:15:03,372 --> 00:15:05,544
[Whispering]
385
00:15:05,677 --> 00:15:07,147
Otis: You're not
saying anything.
386
00:15:07,214 --> 00:15:08,717
Flute: Do you really think
detectives
387
00:15:08,817 --> 00:15:10,888
are saying something
when they do this?
388
00:15:10,955 --> 00:15:13,593
[Dance music]
389
00:15:13,660 --> 00:15:16,733
Laser tag player: Cover me,
honey. I'm going in.
390
00:15:16,799 --> 00:15:19,037
[Buzzer sounds twice]
391
00:15:19,104 --> 00:15:20,507
[Buzzer sounds]
Really?
392
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:23,412
Announcer: Ooh, player 3,
you been hit, girl.
393
00:15:23,513 --> 00:15:27,655
Player 3: Well, I got to
sashay away. Agh!
394
00:15:27,722 --> 00:15:29,258
[Air horn blows]
395
00:15:29,358 --> 00:15:31,361
Marrissaa: Set your phasers
to tuck because we'll have
396
00:15:31,461 --> 00:15:34,467
so much more from
Lazer Drag after the break.
397
00:15:34,569 --> 00:15:35,436
♪
398
00:15:35,537 --> 00:15:37,675
[Harmony growling softly]
399
00:15:37,809 --> 00:15:39,512
[Marrissaa laughs]
400
00:15:39,645 --> 00:15:41,849
Mr. Flesh: OK, here's the plan:
Let's start a rumor
401
00:15:41,950 --> 00:15:43,352
that she's QAnon.
402
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:45,757
Ooh! Even better!
We out her for attending
403
00:15:45,891 --> 00:15:48,262
one of Louis C.K.'s
first shows back!
404
00:15:48,362 --> 00:15:51,870
I'm sorry.
Uh, does that say "anthrax"?
405
00:15:51,970 --> 00:15:53,674
Harmony: Yeah. I did a story
on the dark web
406
00:15:53,741 --> 00:15:57,413
opening up a brick and mortar,
and it was in the gift bag.
407
00:15:57,514 --> 00:16:00,153
Mr. Flesh: You're not
trying to kill her, are you?
408
00:16:00,286 --> 00:16:01,789
Harmony: No. Of course not!
409
00:16:01,890 --> 00:16:04,461
I just want to paralyze her
enough, so that the only thing
410
00:16:04,529 --> 00:16:07,434
she can do is write a very
short nurse-assisted memoir.
411
00:16:07,535 --> 00:16:09,137
Mr. Flesh: Um, this is
starting to feel less like
412
00:16:09,237 --> 00:16:10,508
some good-natured revenge
413
00:16:10,641 --> 00:16:12,377
and more like
a straight up Lifetime movie.
414
00:16:12,511 --> 00:16:15,283
Harmony: Jeez. Where did
the fun Mr. Flesh go,
415
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:18,256
the guy who makes my son
do all those terrible things?
416
00:16:18,356 --> 00:16:21,262
Mr. Flesh: I'm chaos,
not darkness, baby.
417
00:16:21,362 --> 00:16:23,633
I may give him a Costco sample
of anarchy,
418
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:25,437
but Stan's decisions
are his own.
419
00:16:25,604 --> 00:16:27,406
Harmony: What are you saying,
this is my idea?
420
00:16:27,574 --> 00:16:29,946
Mr. Flesh:
Look in the disco ball, honey.
421
00:16:30,046 --> 00:16:31,582
[Harmony gasps]
422
00:16:31,683 --> 00:16:34,589
Mr. Flesh: At least in here,
it looks like a creative choice.
423
00:16:34,722 --> 00:16:37,427
Harmony: So you're saying
maybe I should be OK
424
00:16:37,493 --> 00:16:41,903
reporting on psychos
because I kind of am one.
425
00:16:42,037 --> 00:16:43,773
Wow. You're good.
426
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:48,917
Mr. Flesh: Yep! This is exactly
how I intended this to go.
427
00:16:49,084 --> 00:16:50,420
[Buzzer sounds, player groans]
428
00:16:50,453 --> 00:16:53,226
Marrissaa: We're only
three broken ankles in--
429
00:16:53,359 --> 00:16:54,895
Cameraman: Oh, my gosh!
She's hurt.
430
00:16:55,062 --> 00:16:56,432
Is anyone here a reporter?
431
00:16:56,533 --> 00:17:01,308
Mr. Flesh: Tie up your bathrobe
and get out there.
432
00:17:01,408 --> 00:17:03,479
Harmony: While it may just
look like a fun night out,
433
00:17:03,613 --> 00:17:07,053
Lazer Drag is also an important
lesson in sisterhood
434
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:09,759
that teaches us it's way
more fun to shoot each other
435
00:17:09,859 --> 00:17:12,931
in the face than it is
to stab each other in the back.
436
00:17:12,998 --> 00:17:15,202
I'm Harmony Flute.
And now the weather.
437
00:17:15,303 --> 00:17:18,142
Take it away,
Immunocompromised Gabe.
438
00:17:18,209 --> 00:17:19,846
Oh, no. Really?
439
00:17:19,913 --> 00:17:25,055
♪
440
00:17:25,189 --> 00:17:30,567
[Both whistle]
441
00:17:30,667 --> 00:17:32,370
Man: Detective Flute!
442
00:17:32,437 --> 00:17:34,274
Are you here to set us free
so that we
443
00:17:34,374 --> 00:17:36,077
can finally kill ourselves?
444
00:17:36,144 --> 00:17:37,648
Flute: Wow. That's...dark.
445
00:17:37,815 --> 00:17:40,119
When criminals throw evidence
in the volcano,
446
00:17:40,219 --> 00:17:41,889
where do they put it?
447
00:17:42,023 --> 00:17:45,730
♪
448
00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:48,168
[Alarm sounds, Flute whistles]
449
00:17:48,269 --> 00:17:50,339
♪
450
00:17:50,507 --> 00:17:53,012
Flute:
Looks like all our cold cases
451
00:17:53,078 --> 00:17:55,182
just got a lot warmer.
452
00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:59,090
♪
453
00:17:59,224 --> 00:18:01,696
[Rifles are armed]
454
00:18:01,763 --> 00:18:03,833
♪
455
00:18:05,937 --> 00:18:07,307
Man: If I turned you in,
they promised
456
00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:08,744
they'd let me off myself.
457
00:18:08,810 --> 00:18:10,413
Flute: Gotta hand it to 'em.
458
00:18:10,514 --> 00:18:12,383
They really know how
to incentivize their employees.
459
00:18:12,518 --> 00:18:13,753
♪
460
00:18:13,853 --> 00:18:15,523
Harmony:
Who knew getting revenge
461
00:18:15,624 --> 00:18:17,562
with my son's imaginary skeleton
friend could be so much fun?
462
00:18:17,695 --> 00:18:19,431
Mr. Flesh: And who knew
middle-aged mothers are
463
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:22,304
even more psychotic
than their preteen kids?
464
00:18:22,370 --> 00:18:25,511
[Both laugh, then sigh]
465
00:18:25,678 --> 00:18:28,282
Harmony: The cough syrup
must be wearing off.
466
00:18:28,382 --> 00:18:29,919
You're getting fuzzier
467
00:18:30,053 --> 00:18:31,923
than a non-molestation-involved
camp memory.
468
00:18:32,056 --> 00:18:33,960
Will I ever see you again?
469
00:18:34,094 --> 00:18:38,770
Mr. Flesh: I'm always a tiny
plastic cup of dark syrup away.
470
00:18:38,904 --> 00:18:39,973
♪
471
00:18:40,039 --> 00:18:41,007
[Door opens]
472
00:18:41,108 --> 00:18:42,544
Stan: Sorry, Mom.
473
00:18:42,611 --> 00:18:44,682
I tried to make new friends
like you wanted me to,
474
00:18:44,815 --> 00:18:46,051
but they were kind of mean.
475
00:18:46,184 --> 00:18:48,657
Harmony: That's OK.
You still have Mr. Flesh.
476
00:18:48,790 --> 00:18:50,192
Stan: Wait. You mean it?
477
00:18:50,325 --> 00:18:52,564
Harmony: I'd rather you have
a fake friend that's real
478
00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:55,236
than a real friend
that's fake. Go on.
479
00:18:55,369 --> 00:18:57,842
He's over...
[Wind gusts]
480
00:18:57,908 --> 00:18:59,177
there?
481
00:18:59,311 --> 00:19:01,215
Mr. Flesh: Did you hear that,
Stand Your Ground?
482
00:19:01,315 --> 00:19:03,452
Our love isn't
forbidden anymore.
483
00:19:03,553 --> 00:19:06,458
Now let's go to the drugstore
and put faint lines
484
00:19:06,593 --> 00:19:09,163
on the home pregnancy tests
to celebrate.
485
00:19:11,368 --> 00:19:15,076
♪
486
00:19:15,176 --> 00:19:18,181
Otis: Ow! Mr. Unger,
when my parents find out
487
00:19:18,315 --> 00:19:20,286
what you're up to, it's over.
488
00:19:20,353 --> 00:19:22,023
Screen time, gone.
489
00:19:22,090 --> 00:19:24,928
Mr. Unger: Oh, by all means,
tell them.
490
00:19:25,029 --> 00:19:27,901
♪
491
00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:31,609
Otis: Mr. and Mrs. Mom and Dad?
You knew about this?
492
00:19:31,709 --> 00:19:33,580
Mr. Volcanowitz: Where do you
think all of our money
493
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:35,483
comes from?
It's the perfect business model:
494
00:19:35,584 --> 00:19:38,088
free merchandise, free labor,
and free shipping...
495
00:19:38,188 --> 00:19:40,125
on orders of $150 or more,
496
00:19:40,259 --> 00:19:42,363
and it'll all be yours one day.
497
00:19:42,430 --> 00:19:44,367
Otis: But you said I could be
a detective.
498
00:19:44,502 --> 00:19:46,004
Mrs. Volcanowitz:
Please! You're rich.
499
00:19:46,104 --> 00:19:47,508
You can't be a poor,
gross police person.
500
00:19:47,675 --> 00:19:49,444
Flute:
That's where you're wrong.
501
00:19:49,512 --> 00:19:51,147
This kid is a born detective,
and I should know.
502
00:19:51,214 --> 00:19:52,517
I was born one, too.
503
00:19:52,684 --> 00:19:54,555
My father was on the force
and my grandfather
504
00:19:54,688 --> 00:19:57,794
and his fath--Oh, my God.
Am I a nepo-baby?
505
00:19:57,894 --> 00:20:00,232
Otis: Sorry, Flute,
but I can't risk it.
506
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,938
Take him back down there.
Flute: Otis? No!
507
00:20:03,071 --> 00:20:04,509
Otis: You know too much,
508
00:20:04,642 --> 00:20:06,813
and nothing is more important
than very wealthy family.
509
00:20:06,879 --> 00:20:08,517
Mr. Volcanowitz: It's true.
510
00:20:08,617 --> 00:20:10,085
We can't have you out there
knowing about
511
00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:12,056
the human trafficking,
indentured servitude,
512
00:20:12,123 --> 00:20:16,666
conspiracy to impersonate
a volcano--
513
00:20:16,766 --> 00:20:18,435
Kang: Freeze.
You're under arrest.
514
00:20:18,503 --> 00:20:19,972
Flute: How did you know
we were in here?
515
00:20:20,072 --> 00:20:22,143
Mr. Volcanowitz on recording:
...human trafficking,
516
00:20:22,276 --> 00:20:23,513
indentured servitude,
517
00:20:23,614 --> 00:20:25,650
conspiracy to impersonate
a volcano.
518
00:20:25,783 --> 00:20:28,021
Mrs. Volcanowitz: Otis,
you're making a huge mistake.
519
00:20:28,121 --> 00:20:29,725
You can kiss easy street
good-bye,
520
00:20:29,825 --> 00:20:32,430
and I mean the actual street
we left you in our will.
521
00:20:32,531 --> 00:20:34,067
You'll never get
another dollar from us.
522
00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:35,871
Flute: Don't worry, kid.
You'll be fine.
523
00:20:35,937 --> 00:20:37,775
You can make some decent coin
at Grimsburg PD.
524
00:20:37,841 --> 00:20:39,678
I mean, don't get divorced
or have a kid
525
00:20:39,778 --> 00:20:42,518
or develop a crippling addiction
to daily fantasy sports.
526
00:20:42,585 --> 00:20:44,588
Who are the Sparks
playing tonight?
527
00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:47,226
Otis: Are you saying that
I can have my badge back?
528
00:20:47,293 --> 00:20:48,696
Flute: You sure can, kid.
529
00:20:48,796 --> 00:20:51,101
Kang: Yeah, it's really not
your job to decide that.
530
00:20:51,168 --> 00:20:52,804
Flute: You sure can.
531
00:20:57,346 --> 00:20:58,850
Flute: Talk about a crazy day.
532
00:20:58,983 --> 00:21:02,089
I experienced all three of
my emotions, including horny.
533
00:21:02,223 --> 00:21:04,895
Kang: And I reset
the thermostat back to 62.
534
00:21:05,062 --> 00:21:06,164
Ahh.
535
00:21:06,264 --> 00:21:08,603
Wynona: And I've accepted
that I'm the second youngest.
536
00:21:08,703 --> 00:21:10,807
It's like being
the middle child of the office,
537
00:21:10,873 --> 00:21:13,445
not that anyone's paying
attention to me anymore. Hmph!
538
00:21:13,546 --> 00:21:15,750
Otis: And I've got a ton
of paperwork to do
539
00:21:15,917 --> 00:21:17,286
on these cold cases.
540
00:21:17,386 --> 00:21:19,324
I solved 143 murders today.
541
00:21:19,424 --> 00:21:20,627
That makes me
542
00:21:20,727 --> 00:21:22,196
number one on the leaderboard.
543
00:21:22,330 --> 00:21:23,332
Flute: Hold on.
544
00:21:23,498 --> 00:21:24,769
We both found that volcano.
545
00:21:24,869 --> 00:21:26,506
Martinez: Technically,
Otis found it first.
546
00:21:26,606 --> 00:21:28,041
Flute:
How dare you take his side!
547
00:21:28,142 --> 00:21:30,213
Do you know who my father is?
[Yells]
548
00:21:30,346 --> 00:21:31,949
[Boxes and contents thud]
549
00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:34,622
♪
550
00:21:34,688 --> 00:21:35,924
Person: Bento.
[Cheering]
41732
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