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1
00:00:02,534 --> 00:00:05,270
[♪]
2
00:01:16,475 --> 00:01:18,543
Feet...
3
00:01:18,544 --> 00:01:20,212
Feet!
4
00:01:20,213 --> 00:01:23,748
No more feet!
5
00:01:29,922 --> 00:01:32,657
Help me, please.
6
00:01:32,658 --> 00:01:34,292
No more feet!
7
00:01:34,293 --> 00:01:35,793
No more feet!
8
00:01:35,794 --> 00:01:37,395
Help me!
9
00:01:37,396 --> 00:01:38,796
Help!
10
00:01:38,797 --> 00:01:40,298
Help!
11
00:01:40,299 --> 00:01:42,834
[screaming]
12
00:01:42,835 --> 00:01:44,769
Feet!
13
00:01:44,770 --> 00:01:46,304
Feet!
14
00:01:46,305 --> 00:01:48,539
Al, honey, wake up.
15
00:01:48,540 --> 00:01:50,175
You're having a dream.
16
00:01:50,176 --> 00:01:52,310
Oh, peg. Thank god.
17
00:01:52,311 --> 00:01:55,146
For the first time
since the first time,
18
00:01:55,147 --> 00:02:00,318
I'm glad to see you
in bed.
19
00:02:00,319 --> 00:02:01,786
It was horrible, peg.
20
00:02:01,787 --> 00:02:03,622
There were feet
everywhere.
21
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,790
Oh, poor baby.
22
00:02:05,791 --> 00:02:07,859
Let me get you
a glass of water.
23
00:02:10,195 --> 00:02:14,099
[theme from psycho plays]
24
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:16,935
[screaming]
25
00:02:16,936 --> 00:02:18,769
Feet!
26
00:02:22,408 --> 00:02:23,941
Al, are you having
27
00:02:23,942 --> 00:02:26,110
That stupid
foot dream again?
28
00:02:29,815 --> 00:02:32,183
Go for it, baby.
29
00:02:32,184 --> 00:02:33,451
Go for it.
30
00:02:33,452 --> 00:02:36,787
Just touch anything!
31
00:02:36,788 --> 00:02:38,022
Come on, peg,
32
00:02:38,023 --> 00:02:40,558
Haven't we had
enough sex in our lives?
33
00:02:40,559 --> 00:02:42,427
When does it
get to be over?
34
00:02:42,428 --> 00:02:44,229
When you're
officially dead.
35
00:02:44,230 --> 00:02:46,163
Now, get on!
36
00:02:52,771 --> 00:02:56,040
Aren't my sleeping
nightmares enough?
37
00:02:56,041 --> 00:02:57,341
I haven't had
a bit of sleep
38
00:02:57,342 --> 00:02:58,910
In two weeks.
39
00:02:58,911 --> 00:03:00,512
There's feet.
Feet everywhere.
40
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:01,880
I'm not going
to work tomorrow.
41
00:03:01,881 --> 00:03:03,915
There'll be feet there.
42
00:03:03,916 --> 00:03:05,717
You are such a baby.
43
00:03:05,718 --> 00:03:07,485
You know, I have to
stare up your nostrils
44
00:03:07,486 --> 00:03:08,953
All night long.
45
00:03:08,954 --> 00:03:10,254
You don't see me
waking up
46
00:03:10,255 --> 00:03:14,091
Screaming, "hair! Hair!"
47
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:17,095
You know,
if the toilet
48
00:03:17,096 --> 00:03:19,931
Was just a little bit
bigger...
49
00:03:19,932 --> 00:03:22,233
Ba-woosh.
50
00:03:23,435 --> 00:03:24,869
I've got to
calm myself down.
51
00:03:24,870 --> 00:03:27,071
I'm gonna get
a glass of water.
52
00:03:27,072 --> 00:03:28,406
You can't do that, al.
53
00:03:28,407 --> 00:03:30,108
You'll disturb marcy.
54
00:03:30,109 --> 00:03:32,811
Why are you letting
her stay here?
55
00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:35,380
Because she's lonely,
she's our best friend
56
00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:38,717
And she's giving us
25 bucks a week.
57
00:03:40,186 --> 00:03:42,020
I thought you said 10.
58
00:03:42,021 --> 00:03:43,421
Well, I meant
59
00:03:43,422 --> 00:03:46,624
I wish she was giving us
25 bucks a week.
60
00:03:46,625 --> 00:03:49,160
You know,
so you could have some.
61
00:03:49,161 --> 00:03:50,294
That's just great.
62
00:03:50,295 --> 00:03:51,596
I can't sleep,
63
00:03:51,597 --> 00:03:53,364
And I can't go downstairs
in my own house.
64
00:03:53,365 --> 00:03:54,999
What am I supposed to do?
65
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,569
Well, we could play
66
00:03:57,570 --> 00:04:02,841
"bring the big bad wolf
over to this little peggy."
67
00:04:02,842 --> 00:04:06,177
You know, you'll huff,
and I'll puff, and, uh...
68
00:04:06,178 --> 00:04:11,082
Well, that'll be
about it.
69
00:04:11,083 --> 00:04:12,717
I don't wanna!
70
00:04:12,718 --> 00:04:15,653
Oh, save your whining
till it's over.
71
00:04:18,056 --> 00:04:20,324
Man [on tv]:
It's your very essence I adore.
72
00:04:20,325 --> 00:04:22,460
Your beautyoverwhelms me.
73
00:04:22,461 --> 00:04:24,796
Woman:
Ah, charles, take me.
74
00:04:24,797 --> 00:04:26,197
Now.
75
00:04:26,198 --> 00:04:28,232
Yes, charles, take her.
76
00:04:28,233 --> 00:04:32,570
And when you're done, take me.
77
00:04:32,571 --> 00:04:35,373
[romantic string music playing]
78
00:04:35,374 --> 00:04:37,976
[sighs]
79
00:04:37,977 --> 00:04:40,745
[turns tv off]
80
00:04:40,746 --> 00:04:43,615
I wonder what it feels like
to be in someone's arms again.
81
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:46,618
Al:
Please, peg,
you're killing me!
82
00:04:56,161 --> 00:04:57,462
[whispering]
hey, kelly,
83
00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:58,963
Are you sure
this is okay?
84
00:04:58,964 --> 00:05:01,165
'cause last time,
your dad swung me
around the room
85
00:05:01,166 --> 00:05:02,767
By my earring.
86
00:05:02,768 --> 00:05:05,569
That's just 'cause
you touched his remote control.
87
00:05:05,570 --> 00:05:06,737
Don't worry.
88
00:05:20,752 --> 00:05:22,620
[both yell]
89
00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:25,590
Kelly, help!
90
00:05:25,591 --> 00:05:28,359
An old chick's got me!
91
00:05:29,795 --> 00:05:31,229
You pig!
92
00:05:31,230 --> 00:05:32,530
Ow!
93
00:05:34,166 --> 00:05:35,533
I'm outta here.
94
00:05:35,534 --> 00:05:37,735
I get enough of this at home
from my mom's friends.
95
00:05:40,772 --> 00:05:42,674
Well, thank you, mrs. Rhoades.
96
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:45,743
That was the third guy this week
that I was truly in love with
97
00:05:45,744 --> 00:05:48,045
That you messed up for me.
98
00:05:49,081 --> 00:05:50,281
Kelly...
99
00:05:50,282 --> 00:05:51,416
Sit down.
100
00:05:52,617 --> 00:05:54,018
See, I have this--
101
00:05:54,019 --> 00:05:55,053
Well, this problem.
102
00:05:55,054 --> 00:05:56,720
I mean, it's really
very complicated.
103
00:05:56,721 --> 00:05:58,022
You're a child.
104
00:05:58,023 --> 00:06:00,591
I probably shouldn't even be
discussing it with you.
105
00:06:00,592 --> 00:06:02,060
I doubt you'd even
understand.
106
00:06:02,061 --> 00:06:04,095
Horny as a toad, huh?
107
00:06:04,096 --> 00:06:06,164
Bingo.
108
00:06:06,165 --> 00:06:07,899
Look, kelly,
109
00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:11,502
You're attractive,
in a cheap, tawdry sort of way.
110
00:06:11,503 --> 00:06:14,205
What do I have to do
to attract a man?
111
00:06:14,206 --> 00:06:17,408
Well, the magazines say
to try a new look.
112
00:06:17,409 --> 00:06:20,911
You know, a new hairdo,
new lipstick.
113
00:06:20,912 --> 00:06:23,381
Pry that jug
out of your mouth.
114
00:06:25,483 --> 00:06:27,351
Well, and then there's
this business
115
00:06:27,352 --> 00:06:29,187
With your wedding ring.
116
00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:30,988
I mean, a pretty woman
can get away with it,
117
00:06:30,989 --> 00:06:33,124
But...
118
00:06:33,125 --> 00:06:35,593
I think I understand.
119
00:06:38,296 --> 00:06:39,964
But I don't know.
120
00:06:39,965 --> 00:06:42,333
It's just so hard for me
to take it off.
121
00:06:42,334 --> 00:06:44,268
It's like admitting
to myself
122
00:06:44,269 --> 00:06:46,270
That my marriage
is really over.
123
00:06:46,271 --> 00:06:48,039
Which it obviously is...
124
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,407
And has been
since wiener-neck
125
00:06:50,408 --> 00:06:53,745
Left in the night
like a balding thief.
126
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,412
I should take it off,
but I just can't.
127
00:06:55,413 --> 00:06:57,715
It's too sacred to me.
128
00:06:57,716 --> 00:06:59,083
Fine.
129
00:06:59,084 --> 00:07:01,685
Then we'll just
get you a cat pole.
130
00:07:03,622 --> 00:07:04,956
It's off.
131
00:07:04,957 --> 00:07:06,357
There.
132
00:07:06,358 --> 00:07:07,692
I've done it.
133
00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:09,761
Now I am truly free.
134
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:11,896
Why did it take me
so long to realize
135
00:07:11,897 --> 00:07:15,132
When a simpleton like you
knew what I had to do?
136
00:07:16,668 --> 00:07:18,002
I feel great.
137
00:07:18,003 --> 00:07:19,537
I feel renewed.
138
00:07:19,538 --> 00:07:21,672
I'm ready to fly.
139
00:07:21,673 --> 00:07:25,109
Oh, yep.
From this point on,
140
00:07:25,110 --> 00:07:30,581
Marcy rhoades
soars like an eagle.
141
00:07:30,582 --> 00:07:31,916
"simpleton"?
142
00:07:31,917 --> 00:07:34,052
I know that means
something bad.
143
00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:40,458
Bud, what's a simpleton?
144
00:07:40,459 --> 00:07:42,960
An idiot, a moron,
145
00:07:42,961 --> 00:07:45,029
Dolt, dullard, cretin.
146
00:07:45,030 --> 00:07:48,299
You know, someone
a little smarter than you.
147
00:07:49,868 --> 00:07:51,636
Hey.
148
00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:54,305
Aw, look at mrs. Rhoades.
149
00:07:54,306 --> 00:07:55,540
Isn't she cute?
150
00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:57,174
Peaceful as a baby.
151
00:07:57,175 --> 00:08:00,879
I want her so bad.
152
00:08:02,414 --> 00:08:06,117
Well, maybe
I can help you out.
153
00:08:06,118 --> 00:08:08,119
Bud, I'm gonna let you in
on some secret woman stuff
154
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:09,787
That no other man knows.
155
00:08:09,788 --> 00:08:11,088
Oh, man!
156
00:08:11,089 --> 00:08:12,523
Now, shh.
157
00:08:12,524 --> 00:08:14,358
If anybody knows
that I told you this,
158
00:08:14,359 --> 00:08:17,694
The sisterhood would strip me
of my pms privileges.
159
00:08:23,768 --> 00:08:26,237
Now, you see, bud,
when a woman sleeps,
160
00:08:26,238 --> 00:08:28,172
Her hormones accumulate,
161
00:08:28,173 --> 00:08:30,607
Which means
that when she wakes up,
162
00:08:30,608 --> 00:08:31,708
She falls in love
163
00:08:31,709 --> 00:08:33,510
With the first man
that she sees.
164
00:08:33,511 --> 00:08:37,181
Now, if she stands up
and she hasn't seen anyone,
165
00:08:37,182 --> 00:08:39,317
Her hormones
will fall to her feet
166
00:08:39,318 --> 00:08:40,952
And they will go
down the drain
167
00:08:40,953 --> 00:08:43,220
When she showers.
168
00:08:45,924 --> 00:08:47,925
Of course.
169
00:08:47,926 --> 00:08:49,827
I've noticed that when
they're standing up,
170
00:08:49,828 --> 00:08:52,663
No girls like me.
171
00:08:52,664 --> 00:08:54,766
But we won't give
mrs. Rhoades the chance.
172
00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:56,300
Now, if I were you,
173
00:08:56,301 --> 00:08:58,136
I would sleep here tonight
on the couch.
174
00:08:58,137 --> 00:09:01,873
That way, you're
the first thing she sees
175
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:04,308
And the only thing
she wants.
176
00:09:04,309 --> 00:09:06,677
Yowza!
177
00:09:06,678 --> 00:09:08,445
What should I wear?
178
00:09:08,446 --> 00:09:09,680
Your love clothes.
179
00:09:09,681 --> 00:09:13,017
You know,
your cowboy jammies.
180
00:09:21,126 --> 00:09:22,960
Your hormones.
181
00:09:22,961 --> 00:09:24,662
My jammies.
182
00:09:24,663 --> 00:09:27,865
You don't stand
a chance.
183
00:09:36,241 --> 00:09:38,042
Al:
Feet!
184
00:09:38,043 --> 00:09:40,211
Feet!
185
00:09:40,212 --> 00:09:42,013
No more feet!
186
00:09:49,387 --> 00:09:51,089
Oh...
187
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:52,857
Mrs. Rhoades!
188
00:10:04,169 --> 00:10:05,870
Oh, great.
189
00:10:05,871 --> 00:10:08,606
Cherry-flavored zit-away.
190
00:10:43,942 --> 00:10:45,642
Now we'll see
who the simpleton is.
191
00:10:45,643 --> 00:10:47,044
Heh heh.
192
00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:03,995
[alarm buzzes]
193
00:11:31,156 --> 00:11:34,125
Oh, no.
194
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:42,166
Good morning, beloved.
195
00:11:42,167 --> 00:11:43,934
Oh, no!
196
00:11:48,574 --> 00:11:52,242
Oh, no. I couldn't have.
197
00:11:53,979 --> 00:11:55,579
How was it?
198
00:11:55,580 --> 00:11:57,881
I was great.
199
00:11:57,882 --> 00:12:00,551
She wa--
200
00:12:00,552 --> 00:12:03,253
Kel, I can't
remember a thing.
201
00:12:03,254 --> 00:12:04,322
Oh, wow.
202
00:12:04,323 --> 00:12:05,489
You know, they say
203
00:12:05,490 --> 00:12:07,024
If a man can't
remember anything,
204
00:12:07,025 --> 00:12:08,693
It's the best
it'll ever be.
205
00:12:11,830 --> 00:12:14,665
That's exactly
what it was like!
206
00:12:14,666 --> 00:12:16,834
There must be
some sort of mistake.
207
00:12:16,835 --> 00:12:17,701
[yawns]
208
00:12:17,702 --> 00:12:19,670
Good morning.
209
00:12:19,671 --> 00:12:22,806
My...You're up early.
210
00:12:22,807 --> 00:12:24,242
What's going on?
211
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:25,843
Nothing. Nothing.
212
00:12:27,445 --> 00:12:28,445
I'm late for home.
213
00:12:28,446 --> 00:12:29,647
But nothing happened.
214
00:12:29,648 --> 00:12:31,048
Nothing happened.
215
00:12:31,049 --> 00:12:33,985
[shrieking]
216
00:12:40,125 --> 00:12:41,793
What's with her?
217
00:12:41,794 --> 00:12:44,595
Too much
of a good thing.
218
00:12:48,634 --> 00:12:49,767
Morning, son.
219
00:12:49,768 --> 00:12:51,201
Morning, al.
220
00:13:00,913 --> 00:13:02,580
Al [thinking]:
But, mom,
221
00:13:02,581 --> 00:13:05,349
I don't wanna workin a shoe store.
222
00:13:05,350 --> 00:13:06,984
Al's mom:
Don't worry, al.
223
00:13:06,985 --> 00:13:09,287
Just think of itas a stepping stone.
224
00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:14,058
Someday you'll bethe presidentof your own corporation.
225
00:13:14,059 --> 00:13:16,294
Thanks, mom.
226
00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:19,430
You wantyour bloody mary now?
227
00:13:19,431 --> 00:13:21,232
Yes, dear.
228
00:13:21,233 --> 00:13:23,601
And rub my feet.
229
00:13:29,274 --> 00:13:30,975
Excuse me.
230
00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:33,744
Are you alive?
231
00:13:40,652 --> 00:13:44,555
No, I've...Died
and gone to switzerland.
232
00:13:47,092 --> 00:13:48,993
I was wondering
if you could do me a favor.
233
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:50,127
No need to ask.
234
00:13:50,128 --> 00:13:52,263
The cash register's
right over there.
235
00:13:52,264 --> 00:13:53,597
The car's in the parking lot.
236
00:13:53,598 --> 00:13:56,200
Just step on me
on your way out.
237
00:13:56,201 --> 00:13:59,269
I would,
but I'm here on business.
238
00:13:59,270 --> 00:14:00,637
I was wondering,
239
00:14:00,638 --> 00:14:02,272
We need a place
to hold our pageant.
240
00:14:02,273 --> 00:14:05,842
We'd like to use your store.
241
00:14:05,843 --> 00:14:07,811
You can be a judge if you want.
242
00:14:07,812 --> 00:14:10,981
Will, uh...
243
00:14:10,982 --> 00:14:12,950
Will you be a contestant?
244
00:14:12,951 --> 00:14:14,084
Oh, no.
245
00:14:14,085 --> 00:14:16,520
I couldn't possibly compete
with these women.
246
00:14:19,324 --> 00:14:22,260
Will you do it? Please?
247
00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:25,563
[weakly] excuse me.
248
00:14:30,735 --> 00:14:32,303
Yes!
249
00:14:32,304 --> 00:14:33,570
Thank you!
250
00:14:33,571 --> 00:14:34,871
Out of the emptiness,
251
00:14:34,872 --> 00:14:36,673
The void
that is my life,
252
00:14:36,674 --> 00:14:38,708
I now can see
the light!
253
00:14:38,709 --> 00:14:42,313
I...Am...Alive!
254
00:14:50,355 --> 00:14:52,889
I'll be there
with boobs on.
255
00:14:54,926 --> 00:14:56,760
Bells.
256
00:15:03,901 --> 00:15:05,369
Hey, you okay?
257
00:15:05,370 --> 00:15:07,070
You seem
awfully nervous.
258
00:15:07,071 --> 00:15:08,272
Me, nervous?
259
00:15:08,273 --> 00:15:10,073
Don't be silly.
I'm fine.
260
00:15:13,511 --> 00:15:15,346
Listen, peggy,
261
00:15:15,347 --> 00:15:17,114
I've got to ask you
something.
262
00:15:17,115 --> 00:15:18,749
Have you ever done anything
263
00:15:18,750 --> 00:15:21,351
That you didn't remember
the next day?
264
00:15:21,352 --> 00:15:23,486
Well...
265
00:15:23,487 --> 00:15:27,024
Having the kids.
266
00:15:27,025 --> 00:15:28,359
I mean, have you
ever done anything
267
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:31,161
That you really regretted?
268
00:15:32,564 --> 00:15:34,498
Having the kids.
269
00:15:42,607 --> 00:15:44,275
Mother.
270
00:15:45,610 --> 00:15:46,944
Mama.
271
00:16:00,658 --> 00:16:02,793
Ahh!
272
00:16:18,243 --> 00:16:20,978
Gee, what's with him?
273
00:16:20,979 --> 00:16:23,179
I know.
274
00:16:23,180 --> 00:16:26,950
I bet he has
a little girlfriend.
275
00:16:37,362 --> 00:16:38,495
Peg.
276
00:16:38,496 --> 00:16:40,497
Peg leg.
277
00:16:46,304 --> 00:16:48,004
Ahh!
278
00:16:49,106 --> 00:16:50,741
Gee, you're
in a good mood.
279
00:16:50,742 --> 00:16:52,142
What's wrong?
280
00:16:52,143 --> 00:16:53,444
What could be wrong?
281
00:16:53,445 --> 00:16:55,446
The sun is shining.
The birds are singing.
282
00:16:55,447 --> 00:16:58,281
I'm a shoe salesman.
283
00:16:58,282 --> 00:17:00,050
I'm gonna go take a shower.
284
00:17:00,051 --> 00:17:02,185
A shower?
285
00:17:02,186 --> 00:17:05,922
In the middle
of the week?
286
00:17:05,923 --> 00:17:07,491
Now I know
something's wrong.
287
00:17:07,492 --> 00:17:12,329
Al, you don't even know
where the soap is!
288
00:17:12,330 --> 00:17:14,298
Well, babe...
289
00:17:14,299 --> 00:17:16,167
You look good.
290
00:17:16,168 --> 00:17:19,036
I obviously agree with you.
291
00:17:19,037 --> 00:17:21,972
Look, let's clear the air.
292
00:17:21,973 --> 00:17:23,674
Nothing happened.
293
00:17:23,675 --> 00:17:26,176
I am absolutely, positively sure
294
00:17:26,177 --> 00:17:27,978
Nothing happened...
295
00:17:27,979 --> 00:17:30,413
But if it did,
even though it didn't,
296
00:17:30,414 --> 00:17:32,483
I don't want any rumors
getting around.
297
00:17:32,484 --> 00:17:33,750
A gentleman never tells.
298
00:17:33,751 --> 00:17:35,252
[door opens]
299
00:17:35,253 --> 00:17:39,322
Hey, bud, is this the one?
300
00:17:40,659 --> 00:17:41,958
Yup.
301
00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:44,895
Say "young stuff."
302
00:17:44,896 --> 00:17:47,264
[camera clicks]
303
00:17:47,265 --> 00:17:48,132
Way to go, bud.
304
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:49,500
Yeah. All right.
305
00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:51,568
She's old.
306
00:17:53,604 --> 00:17:55,840
You told your friends?
307
00:17:55,841 --> 00:17:57,575
Like you haven't.
308
00:18:00,378 --> 00:18:01,712
Look, babe...
309
00:18:01,713 --> 00:18:04,281
I know what you're
feeling for me, but, uh...
310
00:18:04,282 --> 00:18:06,349
I think it might be
healthier for the both of us
311
00:18:06,350 --> 00:18:09,687
To continue
seeing other people.
312
00:18:09,688 --> 00:18:11,055
I just hope I haven't
ruined you
313
00:18:11,056 --> 00:18:13,991
For all other men.
314
00:18:13,992 --> 00:18:15,626
Oh, very nice.
315
00:18:15,627 --> 00:18:18,262
We have something special,
and now you just toss me asi--
316
00:18:20,732 --> 00:18:22,299
Wait a second!
317
00:18:22,300 --> 00:18:23,800
What am I talking about?
318
00:18:23,801 --> 00:18:25,569
Nothing happened between us.
319
00:18:25,570 --> 00:18:27,203
Nothing could happen
between us.
320
00:18:27,204 --> 00:18:29,707
Nothing ever will
happen between us.
321
00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:32,008
So that's it, huh?
322
00:18:32,009 --> 00:18:34,110
Slam, bam,
thank you, bud?
323
00:18:36,981 --> 00:18:38,516
You used me.
324
00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:39,850
I used you?
325
00:18:39,851 --> 00:18:42,653
You're the one who said
we should see other people.
326
00:18:45,857 --> 00:18:49,359
I didn't mean
to hurt you, babe.
327
00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:50,694
But sometimes
328
00:18:50,695 --> 00:18:52,195
The best way to hold
on to something
329
00:18:52,196 --> 00:18:53,230
Is to let it go.
330
00:18:53,231 --> 00:18:54,765
Oh, bull.
331
00:18:54,766 --> 00:18:56,867
You're just like
all the rest.
332
00:18:56,868 --> 00:18:59,837
It's the age thing,
isn't it?
333
00:19:04,576 --> 00:19:06,109
Look, uh,
let's not fight.
334
00:19:06,110 --> 00:19:07,611
It cheapens the memory...
335
00:19:07,612 --> 00:19:12,115
Even though I don't
remember anything.
336
00:19:12,116 --> 00:19:14,552
But we'll always have
whatever happened.
337
00:19:14,553 --> 00:19:17,187
Which was nothing.
338
00:19:17,188 --> 00:19:19,757
Whatever gets you
through the night.
339
00:19:19,758 --> 00:19:21,859
Friends?
340
00:19:21,860 --> 00:19:23,694
Friends.
341
00:19:23,695 --> 00:19:26,263
Now, would it be
all right
342
00:19:26,264 --> 00:19:27,898
If a friend
bought another friend
343
00:19:27,899 --> 00:19:29,633
An ice cream cone?
344
00:19:29,634 --> 00:19:33,571
Sure. Why not?
345
00:19:34,906 --> 00:19:39,076
Oh, uh, by the way...
You are on the pill?
346
00:19:42,747 --> 00:19:44,581
Oh, my god!
347
00:19:56,828 --> 00:19:59,830
Yeah, and I'm the simpleton.
348
00:19:59,831 --> 00:20:04,434
Tricking them
was as easy as one, two, "c."
349
00:20:11,275 --> 00:20:12,910
Al, taking a shower
350
00:20:12,911 --> 00:20:14,912
Is more than
spraying your shirt
351
00:20:14,913 --> 00:20:17,014
With deodorant.
352
00:20:17,015 --> 00:20:18,515
I wanna know
where you're going
353
00:20:18,516 --> 00:20:19,816
Smelling like that.
354
00:20:19,817 --> 00:20:21,451
Fine. I'll tell you,
355
00:20:21,452 --> 00:20:25,321
But I don't want
any crying.
356
00:20:25,322 --> 00:20:27,624
I'm going to judge
a beauty contest.
357
00:20:27,625 --> 00:20:29,826
Hundreds
of beautiful women
358
00:20:29,827 --> 00:20:31,996
Will be hungering
after me.
359
00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:34,197
[laughs]
360
00:20:37,335 --> 00:20:39,569
Where's the other judge
so we can start this?
361
00:20:39,570 --> 00:20:42,006
I gotta get back
to my hot dog stand.
362
00:20:42,007 --> 00:20:42,906
Don't worry.
363
00:20:42,907 --> 00:20:44,508
Mr. Bundy will be here.
364
00:20:53,885 --> 00:20:56,619
Let the games begin.
365
00:20:59,357 --> 00:21:00,490
Excuse me,
366
00:21:00,491 --> 00:21:01,758
But do you know
367
00:21:01,759 --> 00:21:03,260
How we're supposed
to judge this?
368
00:21:03,261 --> 00:21:04,695
Well, the way
I look at it,
369
00:21:04,696 --> 00:21:06,463
We give two points
for talent,
370
00:21:06,464 --> 00:21:07,964
Two points
for personality
371
00:21:07,965 --> 00:21:10,534
And, uh, 96 points
for hooters.
372
00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:13,770
You're a pig.
373
00:21:13,771 --> 00:21:17,140
And you, sir, are a--
374
00:21:17,141 --> 00:21:18,775
Oh, I'm sorry, madam.
375
00:21:18,776 --> 00:21:20,811
I didn't know you were a woman.
376
00:21:20,812 --> 00:21:24,147
Are you?
377
00:21:24,148 --> 00:21:25,849
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
378
00:21:25,850 --> 00:21:28,252
Bring on the babes!
379
00:21:28,253 --> 00:21:30,386
Yes, well,
without further ado,
380
00:21:30,387 --> 00:21:32,122
Judges, please
take your positions.
381
00:21:37,028 --> 00:21:38,828
Hey, that's a great idea.
382
00:21:38,829 --> 00:21:41,365
We can look up their dresses.
383
00:21:41,366 --> 00:21:43,733
The gods have smiled
on al bundy!
384
00:21:50,041 --> 00:21:52,308
Pageant master:
And now, let us choose...
385
00:21:52,309 --> 00:21:54,811
Chicago's ugliest foot!
386
00:21:58,116 --> 00:22:00,383
Those aren't hooters.
387
00:22:00,384 --> 00:22:03,554
Aah! Those are feet!
388
00:22:03,555 --> 00:22:05,188
Feet! Aah!
389
00:22:05,189 --> 00:22:07,257
There were feet everywhere.
390
00:22:07,258 --> 00:22:08,926
Just feet.
391
00:22:08,927 --> 00:22:11,294
Feet, I say! Feet!
392
00:22:11,295 --> 00:22:13,730
Peg: It's all right
now, al.
393
00:22:13,731 --> 00:22:18,134
Let mama make it
all better.
394
00:22:18,135 --> 00:22:19,770
All right.
395
00:22:24,108 --> 00:22:25,809
[screams]
396
00:22:37,422 --> 00:22:40,056
[♪]
25264
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