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1
00:00:03,168 --> 00:00:06,404
[♪]
2
00:01:15,841 --> 00:01:16,841
[groans]
3
00:01:16,842 --> 00:01:18,176
[sighs]
4
00:01:19,645 --> 00:01:21,646
What's the first derivative
of kinetic energy
5
00:01:21,647 --> 00:01:23,148
With respect
to velocity?
6
00:01:23,149 --> 00:01:24,849
I don't know.
7
00:01:26,152 --> 00:01:28,220
What goes "quack"?
8
00:01:34,293 --> 00:01:35,727
I don't know.
9
00:01:42,468 --> 00:01:43,535
Ahem.
10
00:01:43,536 --> 00:01:46,204
Ahem!
11
00:01:46,205 --> 00:01:47,638
Hey, kids.
12
00:01:47,639 --> 00:01:49,574
Put away your stupid
homework for a minute
13
00:01:49,575 --> 00:01:51,943
And look at mommy.
14
00:01:51,944 --> 00:01:54,845
She's going out
with her man tonight.
15
00:01:54,846 --> 00:01:58,516
Where should we
tell dad you went?
16
00:01:58,517 --> 00:02:01,652
It's your father
I'm going out with.
17
00:02:01,653 --> 00:02:05,623
At least he cared enough
to remember my birthday,
18
00:02:05,624 --> 00:02:07,725
Which is more than I can say
for certain two people
19
00:02:07,726 --> 00:02:10,996
Who sprang painfully,
and in some cases,
20
00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:14,332
Backwards from my loins.
21
00:02:16,668 --> 00:02:18,036
We would've gotten
you something,
22
00:02:18,037 --> 00:02:19,037
But last year
you said,
23
00:02:19,038 --> 00:02:20,304
"if I ever start
to look as old
24
00:02:20,305 --> 00:02:21,873
"as mrs. Mckelvey
across the street
25
00:02:21,874 --> 00:02:24,175
I never wanna have
a birthday again."
26
00:02:25,210 --> 00:02:28,145
Mrs. Mckelvey is 50.
27
00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:36,120
Just wait till I find out
when your birthdays are.
28
00:02:36,788 --> 00:02:38,489
Mine's in February.
29
00:02:38,490 --> 00:02:40,592
I'm an aquarium.
30
00:02:44,629 --> 00:02:46,797
And an empty one.
31
00:02:49,402 --> 00:02:51,102
Where's dad
takin' you?
32
00:02:51,103 --> 00:02:52,003
Oh, I don't know.
33
00:02:52,004 --> 00:02:54,472
He just said to wear
something special.
34
00:02:54,473 --> 00:02:58,143
Gee, I hope it's dinner
and dancing at the beef trough.
35
00:02:58,144 --> 00:02:59,777
That's our place, you know.
36
00:02:59,778 --> 00:03:02,080
[laughs]
37
00:03:04,283 --> 00:03:06,084
Peg...
38
00:03:06,085 --> 00:03:07,852
You look fabulous!
39
00:03:07,853 --> 00:03:11,222
You're gonna knock 'em dead
at the bowling alley.
40
00:03:13,024 --> 00:03:14,992
The bowling alley?
41
00:03:14,993 --> 00:03:17,495
You're taking me bowling
on my birthday?
42
00:03:17,496 --> 00:03:20,297
It's your birthday?
43
00:03:20,298 --> 00:03:24,134
Kids, tonight mommy
rides in the front seat.
44
00:03:25,037 --> 00:03:26,604
Uh, hey, what're
you kids doin'?
45
00:03:26,605 --> 00:03:28,573
Homework.
Got finals comin' up.
46
00:03:28,574 --> 00:03:31,342
Well, put it away. This is
something really important.
47
00:03:31,343 --> 00:03:32,443
Now...
48
00:03:32,444 --> 00:03:33,778
As we all know,
49
00:03:33,779 --> 00:03:36,247
My good friend puggy weaver
is leaving the neighborhood.
50
00:03:36,248 --> 00:03:38,349
So this is my last chance
to break his alley record
51
00:03:38,350 --> 00:03:42,219
In front of his sweaty,
pork-like little face.
52
00:03:42,220 --> 00:03:43,654
I've been training
for weeks,
53
00:03:43,655 --> 00:03:45,356
Avoiding anything
that would hurt me:
54
00:03:45,357 --> 00:03:47,826
Red meat, red wine...
55
00:03:47,827 --> 00:03:50,161
Redheads.
56
00:03:51,129 --> 00:03:54,899
And those energy-draining
showers.
57
00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:58,669
Behind every successful man
is a woman who didn't marry me.
58
00:04:01,173 --> 00:04:02,707
Now, you,
my children,
59
00:04:02,708 --> 00:04:03,908
Have the important task
60
00:04:03,909 --> 00:04:05,843
Of recording my victory
for posterity.
61
00:04:05,844 --> 00:04:07,379
Too many a great
bundy moment
62
00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:09,147
Has been lost
for lack of a camera.
63
00:04:09,148 --> 00:04:11,849
Oh, honey, we had a camera
on our honeymoon.
64
00:04:11,850 --> 00:04:15,019
You just kept
beating the flash.
65
00:04:17,322 --> 00:04:19,057
Well, peg, if you recall,
66
00:04:19,058 --> 00:04:22,860
I was doing fine till
you came into the room.
67
00:04:25,197 --> 00:04:26,731
Come on, peg.
68
00:04:26,732 --> 00:04:30,001
This'll be the first birthday
you begin in an alley.
69
00:04:31,069 --> 00:04:32,236
Kids, get
the cameras.
70
00:04:32,237 --> 00:04:33,738
Peg, get my ball.
71
00:04:33,739 --> 00:04:36,174
Al,
it's my birthday.
72
00:04:36,175 --> 00:04:37,642
You're right.
I'll carry the ball.
73
00:04:37,643 --> 00:04:38,976
You go push-start the car.
74
00:04:38,977 --> 00:04:39,677
Let's go!
75
00:04:39,678 --> 00:04:40,745
Let's go!
76
00:04:47,152 --> 00:04:48,420
Ready, dad.
77
00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:49,887
Al:
I'm entering!
78
00:04:51,590 --> 00:04:53,325
Widen.
79
00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:55,026
Widen.
80
00:04:55,027 --> 00:04:56,193
Did you get your mother?
81
00:04:56,194 --> 00:04:57,328
Yeah, dad.
82
00:04:57,329 --> 00:04:58,830
Rewind.
83
00:05:01,867 --> 00:05:03,300
Hi.
84
00:05:03,301 --> 00:05:05,069
I'm al bundy at jim's bowlarama.
85
00:05:05,070 --> 00:05:08,239
Feelin' good, feelin' spry.
86
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:09,406
What have we here?
87
00:05:09,407 --> 00:05:10,641
A plaque,
88
00:05:10,642 --> 00:05:12,944
Which denotes the highest game
in bowlarama history,
89
00:05:12,945 --> 00:05:16,413
A plaque which will
soon read, "al bundy."
90
00:05:16,414 --> 00:05:17,414
Yep.
91
00:05:17,415 --> 00:05:18,716
Al bundy, al bundy
92
00:05:18,717 --> 00:05:21,185
Brave, courageous and bold
93
00:05:21,186 --> 00:05:23,154
Long live his fame
94
00:05:23,155 --> 00:05:25,022
And long live his glory
95
00:05:25,023 --> 00:05:27,992
Long may his story be told
96
00:05:27,993 --> 00:05:29,160
Still picture, please.
97
00:05:35,367 --> 00:05:36,533
Daddy, help.
98
00:05:36,534 --> 00:05:38,502
I'm blind!
99
00:05:38,503 --> 00:05:40,671
Let us bowl!
100
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:42,907
Daddy?
101
00:05:42,908 --> 00:05:44,608
Daddy?
102
00:05:44,609 --> 00:05:46,044
Daddy?
103
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:49,313
[sniffing]
104
00:05:49,314 --> 00:05:52,316
Somethin'
die in here?
105
00:05:52,317 --> 00:05:54,185
Oh. Bundy.
106
00:05:54,186 --> 00:05:55,386
Puggy.
107
00:05:55,387 --> 00:05:56,621
I didn't
recognize you
108
00:05:56,622 --> 00:06:00,225
With your fist
out of your nose.
109
00:06:00,226 --> 00:06:01,826
So I understand
you're leavin' town.
110
00:06:01,827 --> 00:06:03,962
I guess you'll be
packin' up the wife, kids,
111
00:06:03,963 --> 00:06:08,566
And the 300-pound hooker you
visit every Friday after work.
112
00:06:08,567 --> 00:06:09,834
So I just stopped by
113
00:06:09,835 --> 00:06:11,602
To give you a little
goin'-away present.
114
00:06:11,603 --> 00:06:13,204
Al "the king" bundy
115
00:06:13,205 --> 00:06:15,006
Will now do
to your record
116
00:06:15,007 --> 00:06:17,508
What time has done
to your face.
117
00:06:20,345 --> 00:06:21,446
Peg...
118
00:06:21,447 --> 00:06:22,881
Unzip it.
119
00:06:24,216 --> 00:06:26,050
The bag, peg.
120
00:06:31,390 --> 00:06:32,724
There's a spot
on my ball.
121
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:33,725
Peg!
122
00:06:38,697 --> 00:06:41,666
Sorry, girls.
He's taken.
123
00:06:43,135 --> 00:06:44,436
Start tape.
124
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:45,603
Bud:
Ready, dad.
125
00:06:45,604 --> 00:06:47,906
Frame one:
126
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:50,575
The bundy legend.
127
00:06:54,647 --> 00:06:56,548
Stee-rike!
128
00:07:08,226 --> 00:07:11,596
Well, it's gonna be
a long evening, mom.
129
00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:14,332
You want me to order
a couple of beers?
130
00:07:16,635 --> 00:07:18,102
For you, and, uh,
131
00:07:18,103 --> 00:07:20,738
Some ice cream
with gummy bears for me?
132
00:07:25,010 --> 00:07:27,111
Stee-rike!
133
00:07:34,653 --> 00:07:37,455
Still a long way
to 256, bundy.
134
00:07:37,456 --> 00:07:39,490
Not for your wife, puggy.
135
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:42,560
Al,
136
00:07:42,561 --> 00:07:44,194
I'm bored.
137
00:07:44,195 --> 00:07:45,763
Peg, this is
a bowling alley.
138
00:07:45,764 --> 00:07:48,132
Surely you can find
something to do?
139
00:07:48,133 --> 00:07:49,968
Well, I just
can't decide.
140
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:51,035
Let's see.
141
00:07:51,036 --> 00:07:54,973
Tennis, baccarat,
chamber music.
142
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,074
Oh, I know.
143
00:07:56,075 --> 00:07:58,542
Maybe those gentlemen
scratching their behinds
144
00:07:58,543 --> 00:08:01,712
Are having a poetry reading.
145
00:08:01,713 --> 00:08:03,514
Peg, bowl!
146
00:08:03,515 --> 00:08:05,216
Oh, yeah, that would
look really great.
147
00:08:05,217 --> 00:08:06,751
There is nothing
more pathetic
148
00:08:06,752 --> 00:08:09,787
Than a woman
who bowls alone.
149
00:08:10,622 --> 00:08:13,524
[sighs]
150
00:08:13,525 --> 00:08:15,927
Well, here
we are again.
151
00:08:16,929 --> 00:08:18,029
Marcie?
152
00:08:18,030 --> 00:08:19,230
Peggy!
153
00:08:19,231 --> 00:08:20,798
Oh!
154
00:08:22,968 --> 00:08:24,869
This isn't as pitiful
as it seems.
155
00:08:24,870 --> 00:08:26,270
Well, actually,
156
00:08:26,271 --> 00:08:28,305
I was told this is
a good place to meet men.
157
00:08:28,306 --> 00:08:29,607
And it is.
158
00:08:29,608 --> 00:08:32,076
Why, just last week,
I met two guys.
159
00:08:32,077 --> 00:08:34,345
Of course,
they left together.
160
00:08:35,313 --> 00:08:38,048
Yep, the single life
for me.
161
00:08:38,049 --> 00:08:38,983
Oh, yeah.
162
00:08:38,984 --> 00:08:40,751
This is the place
to find a good one.
163
00:08:40,752 --> 00:08:42,153
You know,
there's nothing wrong
164
00:08:42,154 --> 00:08:44,688
With dating a doctor
or a lawyer,
165
00:08:44,689 --> 00:08:47,724
But when you are really ready
to settle down...
166
00:08:47,725 --> 00:08:48,759
[chuckles]
167
00:08:57,102 --> 00:09:00,104
...You can't beat
a bowler.
168
00:09:00,905 --> 00:09:03,040
Frame eight:
169
00:09:03,041 --> 00:09:04,875
With grim
determination,
170
00:09:04,876 --> 00:09:06,844
Bundy picks up
his ball,
171
00:09:06,845 --> 00:09:08,879
Knowing all he needs
is two strikes
172
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,881
And eight little pins
173
00:09:10,882 --> 00:09:13,484
And a certain pork pie's record
is history.
174
00:09:15,788 --> 00:09:18,556
Oh, there is no joy
in pugville.
175
00:09:20,492 --> 00:09:23,528
Mighty bundy
shall strike out.
176
00:09:23,529 --> 00:09:26,330
Just bowl, shoemeister.
177
00:09:26,331 --> 00:09:27,064
Al, honey,
178
00:09:27,065 --> 00:09:29,934
I just bowled
four strikes in a row.
179
00:09:29,935 --> 00:09:31,802
Shut up, peg.
180
00:09:35,340 --> 00:09:37,541
Stee-rike!
181
00:09:46,218 --> 00:09:48,319
Honey, this really
is so exciting.
182
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:50,121
I mean, four strikes
in a row!
183
00:09:50,122 --> 00:09:51,622
I've never
done that before.
184
00:09:51,623 --> 00:09:52,957
Come on, you gotta
come see.
185
00:09:52,958 --> 00:09:54,225
Peg, this is
your birthday,
186
00:09:54,226 --> 00:09:57,095
Please don't make me
kill you.
187
00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:58,596
Okay, okay.
188
00:09:58,597 --> 00:10:00,497
I'll be quiet.
189
00:10:04,436 --> 00:10:05,302
Honey?
190
00:10:05,303 --> 00:10:06,971
Huh?
191
00:10:12,744 --> 00:10:14,078
Uh-oh.
192
00:10:14,079 --> 00:10:15,312
Uh-oh!
193
00:10:15,313 --> 00:10:17,381
A 2-4-10 split.
194
00:10:17,382 --> 00:10:19,583
You gotta pick all them up
and bowl a strike
195
00:10:19,584 --> 00:10:21,218
If you wanna
break my record.
196
00:10:24,056 --> 00:10:25,956
What did you want,
peg?
197
00:10:28,093 --> 00:10:30,862
Well, I just wanted
to wish you good luck.
198
00:10:30,863 --> 00:10:32,530
Away, woman!
199
00:10:43,842 --> 00:10:46,610
One more strike to go!
200
00:10:47,312 --> 00:10:49,947
Peg:
Stee-rike!
201
00:10:49,948 --> 00:10:51,482
Ah, heh.
202
00:10:53,117 --> 00:10:54,919
Are you ready,
bud?
203
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:55,953
Ready,
dad.
204
00:10:55,954 --> 00:10:57,588
Kelly?
205
00:11:08,233 --> 00:11:10,802
Good girl, kelly.
206
00:11:10,803 --> 00:11:13,738
This is for all the marbles.
207
00:11:16,575 --> 00:11:18,175
Stee-ee...
208
00:11:18,176 --> 00:11:20,444
...Ee-ee-eeee...
209
00:11:20,445 --> 00:11:21,546
...Rike!
210
00:11:21,547 --> 00:11:22,613
I did it!
211
00:11:22,614 --> 00:11:24,181
Two-fifty-seven!
212
00:11:24,182 --> 00:11:26,450
I got it on tape!
213
00:11:26,451 --> 00:11:28,819
My life is not for nothing!
214
00:11:28,820 --> 00:11:30,354
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
215
00:11:30,355 --> 00:11:31,822
I'm so happy!
216
00:11:31,823 --> 00:11:34,124
Nothing can ruin
this moment.
217
00:11:38,296 --> 00:11:41,666
Peg:
Stee-rike!
218
00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:43,634
Hey, the broad
in the gown
219
00:11:43,635 --> 00:11:45,570
Just bowled
six strikes in a row!
220
00:11:54,412 --> 00:11:56,881
You've got six strikes
in a row, peggy.
221
00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:59,851
Gee, I wonder what
the bowlarama record is.
222
00:11:59,852 --> 00:12:01,385
Uh, peg.
I'm done.
223
00:12:01,386 --> 00:12:02,920
We can go
home now.
224
00:12:04,323 --> 00:12:05,823
She can't go now.
225
00:12:05,824 --> 00:12:09,426
She's bowling
a once-in-a-lifetime game.
226
00:12:09,427 --> 00:12:10,828
Yeah, dad.
Look.
227
00:12:10,829 --> 00:12:14,398
I mean, three more strikes
and your record's history.
228
00:12:14,399 --> 00:12:15,432
Oh, uh,
229
00:12:15,433 --> 00:12:16,533
Dad?
230
00:12:16,534 --> 00:12:18,836
Could you, sweat
this way, please?
231
00:12:24,209 --> 00:12:27,044
Al, wouldn't it be great
if I broke your record?
232
00:12:27,045 --> 00:12:28,045
[laughs]
233
00:12:28,046 --> 00:12:29,380
Oh, man.
234
00:12:29,381 --> 00:12:32,816
That'd be the icing
on the tombstone.
235
00:12:32,817 --> 00:12:35,152
Any tips
for tomorrow's losers?
236
00:12:35,153 --> 00:12:37,154
I hope someone's
filming you
237
00:12:37,155 --> 00:12:40,124
During the reading
of my will.
238
00:12:40,125 --> 00:12:42,093
Ah, who cares?
I'm not worried.
239
00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:44,561
Bud, your mother
has a 60 average,
240
00:12:44,562 --> 00:12:46,296
Just like
in high school.
241
00:12:46,297 --> 00:12:48,298
There's no way she could
possibly continue to--
242
00:12:48,299 --> 00:12:49,433
Marcie:
Strike!
243
00:12:49,434 --> 00:12:50,635
Throw strikes.
244
00:12:50,636 --> 00:12:53,037
See, what you gotta know
about bowling
245
00:12:53,038 --> 00:12:55,506
Is that anybody can make
a lucky shot.
246
00:12:55,507 --> 00:12:58,175
But over the long run,
the game is set up
247
00:12:58,176 --> 00:12:59,677
So only
the truly skillful--
248
00:12:59,678 --> 00:13:00,978
Marcie:
Strike!
249
00:13:00,979 --> 00:13:03,480
Get that stupid thing
out of my face!
250
00:13:05,250 --> 00:13:06,884
Peg, listen,
honey.
251
00:13:06,885 --> 00:13:08,052
I was
just thinkin',
252
00:13:08,053 --> 00:13:09,654
This is no place
to spend the evening.
253
00:13:09,655 --> 00:13:12,256
You're all dressed up.
This is your birthday.
254
00:13:12,257 --> 00:13:13,457
I know! What say we go home,
255
00:13:13,458 --> 00:13:17,361
I take my shirt off,
you rub my back.
256
00:13:17,362 --> 00:13:18,095
I can't, honey.
257
00:13:18,096 --> 00:13:19,830
Didn't you hear?
258
00:13:19,831 --> 00:13:22,633
I have eight strikes
in a row.
259
00:13:22,634 --> 00:13:23,634
Just wait here.
260
00:13:23,635 --> 00:13:25,736
I'm gonna break
your record.
261
00:13:25,737 --> 00:13:27,471
What a great birthday!
262
00:13:28,940 --> 00:13:31,174
Bud:
Hey, dad.
263
00:13:31,175 --> 00:13:34,879
A little hemlock
on the rocks, eh?
264
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:36,013
Not yet, son.
265
00:13:36,014 --> 00:13:37,281
I still have
one weapon left.
266
00:13:37,282 --> 00:13:38,282
Watch.
267
00:13:38,283 --> 00:13:39,349
Oh, peg.
268
00:13:39,350 --> 00:13:41,251
Please make
this strike for me.
269
00:13:41,252 --> 00:13:43,654
You'll make me
the happiest man on earth.
270
00:13:43,655 --> 00:13:44,622
Aw.
See, I've...
271
00:13:44,623 --> 00:13:47,257
I got a little money
ridin' on you, peg.
272
00:13:47,258 --> 00:13:48,593
Do it for me, baby.
273
00:13:48,594 --> 00:13:50,461
Do it, honey. Mwah!
274
00:13:50,462 --> 00:13:52,096
[giggling] [laughing]
275
00:13:54,232 --> 00:13:55,832
Gutter ball.
276
00:14:09,981 --> 00:14:12,216
[screaming]
277
00:14:12,217 --> 00:14:13,184
Strike!
278
00:14:14,319 --> 00:14:16,187
A new alley record!
279
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:17,721
Unbelievable!
280
00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:21,826
Well...
281
00:14:21,827 --> 00:14:25,162
Nothin' much left to say
but goodbye, eh, dad?
282
00:14:25,163 --> 00:14:27,064
Aw, it doesn't matter.
It's no big thing.
283
00:14:27,065 --> 00:14:28,298
Well, whatever she bowls,
284
00:14:28,299 --> 00:14:29,700
I'll just come back
and beat her.
285
00:14:29,701 --> 00:14:31,068
I'll bowl every night
of my life
286
00:14:31,069 --> 00:14:32,703
Until that record
is mine.
287
00:14:32,704 --> 00:14:34,004
How bad can it be?
288
00:14:34,005 --> 00:14:35,539
What's she bowling,
260?
289
00:14:35,540 --> 00:14:36,874
Marcie:
Strike!
290
00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:38,208
270, dad.
291
00:14:38,209 --> 00:14:39,109
Not impossible.
292
00:14:39,110 --> 00:14:41,512
Not impossible.
293
00:14:41,513 --> 00:14:42,813
Oh, al.
294
00:14:42,814 --> 00:14:44,381
Honey, I need you.
295
00:14:44,382 --> 00:14:45,615
Marcie says
296
00:14:45,616 --> 00:14:48,552
That I am three balls away
from a perfect game.
297
00:14:48,553 --> 00:14:50,087
A perfect game!
298
00:14:50,088 --> 00:14:51,788
Oh, but, honey,
I'm nervous.
299
00:14:51,789 --> 00:14:53,023
I mean,
what if I mess up
300
00:14:53,024 --> 00:14:55,092
Like you did
on our honeymoon?
301
00:14:57,996 --> 00:15:00,564
Al, help me.
302
00:15:00,565 --> 00:15:02,799
Hey,
everybody!
303
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:05,735
I've got a woman working
on a perfect game here.
304
00:15:05,736 --> 00:15:07,204
She's a little nervous,
305
00:15:07,205 --> 00:15:09,339
So I want quiet.
306
00:15:09,340 --> 00:15:11,676
That means no comments
about her shaking hands,
307
00:15:11,677 --> 00:15:13,544
Her...Fading strength,
308
00:15:13,545 --> 00:15:17,881
Or her...Outdated dress
that doesn't fit anymore
309
00:15:17,882 --> 00:15:20,351
On, yet this,
another birthday.
310
00:15:20,352 --> 00:15:23,120
So go ahead,
honey, bowl.
311
00:15:23,121 --> 00:15:24,188
And remember,
312
00:15:24,189 --> 00:15:27,458
I want
absolute quiet!
313
00:15:30,928 --> 00:15:32,028
Aah!
314
00:15:39,304 --> 00:15:40,604
[screaming]
315
00:15:49,647 --> 00:15:54,217
You, sir,
are satan's toejam.
316
00:15:54,218 --> 00:15:56,253
I know what
you're up to,
317
00:15:56,254 --> 00:15:58,555
Trying to sabotage
your own wife.
318
00:15:58,556 --> 00:16:01,025
Is there no limit
to how low you'll go?
319
00:16:01,026 --> 00:16:03,927
Well, I wouldn't
kiss you on a bet.
320
00:16:03,928 --> 00:16:07,497
Can't you let this woman
have one night of joy?
321
00:16:07,498 --> 00:16:09,266
She has so little.
322
00:16:09,267 --> 00:16:11,668
She's married to you.
323
00:16:11,669 --> 00:16:13,437
You've seen
her children.
324
00:16:13,438 --> 00:16:15,806
And now, for one
fleeting moment,
325
00:16:15,807 --> 00:16:18,642
She has a chance
to bask in the sun
326
00:16:18,643 --> 00:16:21,678
Instead of reeling
from the moons.
327
00:16:21,679 --> 00:16:24,481
Now, go!
Encourage her.
328
00:16:26,751 --> 00:16:28,285
Peg,
329
00:16:30,021 --> 00:16:32,289
Our children were killed
in an avalanche.
330
00:16:36,294 --> 00:16:37,294
Bowl, peggy.
331
00:16:37,295 --> 00:16:38,328
Okay.
332
00:16:38,329 --> 00:16:39,363
Bowl like
the wind.
333
00:16:39,364 --> 00:16:41,932
We're all
behind you.
334
00:16:41,933 --> 00:16:43,801
Can't beat
a 300 game, I guess.
335
00:16:43,802 --> 00:16:45,269
Well, you know,
336
00:16:45,270 --> 00:16:47,637
I never really
liked bowling, anyway.
337
00:16:47,638 --> 00:16:49,173
Yeah, those 20 years
of practice
338
00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:51,608
Just got me ready for
what I really like to do.
339
00:16:51,609 --> 00:16:53,476
That's sit in the backyard
in a lawn chair,
340
00:16:53,477 --> 00:16:55,612
Let the buzzards
pick at my eyes.
341
00:16:57,382 --> 00:16:59,116
She won't do it,
dad.
342
00:16:59,117 --> 00:17:01,385
I mean, the chances of her
bowling a perfect game
343
00:17:01,386 --> 00:17:02,419
Are a million-to-one.
344
00:17:02,420 --> 00:17:03,887
I mean, even pros
don't bowl--
345
00:17:03,888 --> 00:17:04,655
Strike!
346
00:17:04,656 --> 00:17:06,223
[crowd cheers]
347
00:17:06,224 --> 00:17:07,691
One more!
348
00:17:07,692 --> 00:17:09,993
One more,
and she's got it.
349
00:17:09,994 --> 00:17:11,995
God, you must
feel low.
350
00:17:18,236 --> 00:17:19,870
Kelly, come here.
351
00:17:23,274 --> 00:17:26,477
Now, kids, do you know what
we're witnessing here?
352
00:17:26,478 --> 00:17:27,478
A-- a perfect game?
353
00:17:27,479 --> 00:17:29,380
No, no.
354
00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:32,449
The bundy curse.
355
00:17:32,450 --> 00:17:34,184
It's what keeps us
from being happy.
356
00:17:34,185 --> 00:17:35,619
There's no point
in fighting it.
357
00:17:35,620 --> 00:17:39,723
It's what separates us
from the ordinary losers.
358
00:17:39,724 --> 00:17:41,492
They can have
their moments,
359
00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:42,860
But not us.
360
00:17:42,861 --> 00:17:44,661
Never us.
361
00:17:44,662 --> 00:17:46,463
But mom's having
a major moment now,
362
00:17:46,464 --> 00:17:47,498
And she's a bundy.
363
00:17:47,499 --> 00:17:50,100
She's not truly
a bundy.
364
00:17:50,101 --> 00:17:52,502
See, your mother's just
a bundy by marriage.
365
00:17:52,503 --> 00:17:57,407
She's part
of the curse.
366
00:17:57,408 --> 00:18:01,011
But we are
blood bundys.
367
00:18:01,012 --> 00:18:03,681
We are truly doomed.
368
00:18:06,618 --> 00:18:09,319
All [weakly]:
Whoa, bundy.
369
00:18:11,756 --> 00:18:13,023
Okay, al.
370
00:18:13,024 --> 00:18:14,858
Okay, honey.
371
00:18:14,859 --> 00:18:17,161
This one's
for you.
372
00:18:17,162 --> 00:18:18,162
I know it is,
peg.
373
00:18:18,163 --> 00:18:19,929
I know.
Okay.
374
00:18:42,186 --> 00:18:43,220
Crowd:
Aw!
375
00:18:43,221 --> 00:18:44,754
Yes!
376
00:18:44,755 --> 00:18:46,156
Yes!
377
00:18:46,157 --> 00:18:47,757
I can bowl again!
378
00:18:47,758 --> 00:18:49,059
I can bowl again!
379
00:18:57,201 --> 00:18:58,902
[cheering]
380
00:19:03,007 --> 00:19:04,675
I did it! I did it!
381
00:19:04,676 --> 00:19:07,110
Oh, my god! Al! Al!
382
00:19:07,111 --> 00:19:10,180
Honey! Honey,
I bowled a perfect game!
383
00:19:10,181 --> 00:19:12,249
Aren't you proud of me?
384
00:19:12,250 --> 00:19:13,617
Al?
385
00:19:13,618 --> 00:19:15,652
Al?
386
00:19:24,162 --> 00:19:26,963
[over tv]
hi. Garrett glaserfor news wrap-up.
387
00:19:26,964 --> 00:19:29,065
A tragedy was narrowlyaverted today
388
00:19:29,066 --> 00:19:31,835
When a man returning homefrom a bowling alley,
389
00:19:31,836 --> 00:19:33,970
Where his wife just bowleda perfect game,
390
00:19:33,971 --> 00:19:36,339
Raced intoa burning building,
391
00:19:36,340 --> 00:19:39,877
Saved a family of 10and the family dog, winky.
392
00:19:39,878 --> 00:19:42,145
Mr. Bundy,what made you do it?
393
00:19:42,146 --> 00:19:44,281
Well, garrett,I've always been a winner.
394
00:19:44,282 --> 00:19:48,452
And winners are alwaysthere at the winnin' time.
395
00:19:48,453 --> 00:19:50,554
Mr. Bundy,people around here
396
00:19:50,555 --> 00:19:52,589
Are talking aboutrunning you for mayor.
397
00:19:52,590 --> 00:19:53,957
[chuckles]
well...
398
00:19:53,958 --> 00:19:56,059
I'm not saying I won't run.
399
00:19:56,060 --> 00:19:57,227
But if I do,
400
00:19:57,228 --> 00:19:59,663
Order the beer andget your bribes out,
401
00:19:59,664 --> 00:20:01,565
'causeas I said before,
402
00:20:01,566 --> 00:20:02,933
I am a winner.
403
00:20:02,934 --> 00:20:05,201
Crowd [chanting]:
Bundy! Bundy!
404
00:20:05,202 --> 00:20:07,237
Bundy! Bundy!
405
00:20:07,238 --> 00:20:08,872
Bundy! Bundy!
406
00:20:11,343 --> 00:20:14,811
Mom, why is dad watching
a blank screen?
407
00:20:18,182 --> 00:20:20,284
I don't know.
408
00:20:20,285 --> 00:20:23,053
But he seems happy.
409
00:20:23,054 --> 00:20:26,156
He may have
just snapped, mom.
410
00:20:26,157 --> 00:20:30,860
Well, it's not like you need
a brain to sell shoes.
411
00:20:30,861 --> 00:20:32,062
Come on, kids.
412
00:20:32,063 --> 00:20:33,830
Help mommy put
her big trophy
413
00:20:33,831 --> 00:20:35,232
In front of
daddy's little ones.
414
00:20:35,233 --> 00:20:37,033
[laughs]
415
00:20:37,034 --> 00:20:38,201
Good night,
honey.
416
00:20:38,202 --> 00:20:39,369
Good night,
daddy.
417
00:20:39,370 --> 00:20:40,737
Good night,
dad.
418
00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:43,907
Hi, everybody,I'm roy firestone.
419
00:20:43,908 --> 00:20:45,509
Our guest tonighton sportslook
420
00:20:45,510 --> 00:20:47,344
Personally rewrotethe record book
421
00:20:47,345 --> 00:20:49,513
On both offenseand defense.
422
00:20:49,514 --> 00:20:51,782
Meet the futurehall-of-famer,
423
00:20:51,783 --> 00:20:54,150
Al "icky" bundy.
424
00:21:00,191 --> 00:21:02,192
You know, al, I can't helpbut notice the fact
425
00:21:02,193 --> 00:21:04,060
That you're wearingyour football jersey
426
00:21:04,061 --> 00:21:06,229
Three months afterthe season was played.
427
00:21:06,230 --> 00:21:10,701
Well, roy, it fits good,and the chicks love it.
428
00:21:10,702 --> 00:21:13,603
[chuckles]
429
00:21:13,604 --> 00:21:17,107
Al, if we could get seriousfor just a few moments.
430
00:21:17,108 --> 00:21:20,543
Your wife's bowling game,the perfect 300 score...
431
00:21:20,544 --> 00:21:22,579
Did it in any wayaffect you...
432
00:21:22,580 --> 00:21:24,480
Mentally?
433
00:21:24,481 --> 00:21:26,215
Well, it might haveaffected me, roy,
434
00:21:26,216 --> 00:21:28,452
If I didn't have anythingelse in my life.
435
00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:31,855
But, you know, betweenthe nfl and the endorsements,
436
00:21:31,856 --> 00:21:36,026
And of course being knightedby the queen of England...
437
00:21:36,027 --> 00:21:37,794
Well, what the hell,let the little lady
438
00:21:37,795 --> 00:21:40,230
Have her little momentin the sun, you know.
439
00:21:40,231 --> 00:21:43,100
If there wasa single word,
440
00:21:43,101 --> 00:21:45,869
A single wordthat would define
441
00:21:45,870 --> 00:21:47,337
The essence of you, al,
442
00:21:47,338 --> 00:21:49,305
What do you thinkthat word would be?
443
00:21:51,842 --> 00:21:53,177
Winner.
444
00:21:55,079 --> 00:21:56,513
Al bundy,ladies and gentlemen.
445
00:21:56,514 --> 00:21:58,248
Husband, father,
446
00:21:58,249 --> 00:22:00,083
Football player,
447
00:22:00,084 --> 00:22:01,918
Bullfighter,
448
00:22:01,919 --> 00:22:03,153
Aviator,
449
00:22:03,154 --> 00:22:05,455
Inventor ofthe seven-day underwear...
450
00:22:05,456 --> 00:22:08,491
Truly, trulythe complete man.
451
00:22:08,492 --> 00:22:10,994
Thank you, al, for joining us.We really appreciate it.
452
00:22:10,995 --> 00:22:13,864
Hey, it's your dime, roy.
453
00:22:13,865 --> 00:22:17,200
We'll be back with moreon sportslook right after this.
454
00:22:37,088 --> 00:22:38,988
[♪]
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