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1
00:00:03,235 --> 00:00:05,103
[♪]
2
00:01:15,507 --> 00:01:21,379
Tv announcer:
Today on becky:
"men: Scum or slime?"
3
00:01:21,380 --> 00:01:27,351
Tv announcer 2:
Today on lorraine:
"men: Couldn't you just puke?"
4
00:01:27,352 --> 00:01:31,756
Tv announcer 3:
Today on sharyn, "men:Upright dogs with paychecks?"
5
00:01:34,026 --> 00:01:36,427
That's what I hate about
this time of year.
6
00:01:36,428 --> 00:01:38,763
Nothing on but reruns.
7
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,333
Oh, hi,
honey.
8
00:01:49,942 --> 00:01:51,209
Ow!
9
00:01:51,210 --> 00:01:53,311
What is it, peg,
couch sores?
10
00:01:56,048 --> 00:01:57,982
No, it's tv thumb.
11
00:02:00,052 --> 00:02:03,254
But, I'm a housewife.
It goes with the territory.
12
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:05,990
So how was
your day?
13
00:02:05,991 --> 00:02:07,192
Peg, it was
the worst day--
14
00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:09,627
That's nice, dear.
15
00:02:09,628 --> 00:02:11,062
I want a vacation.
16
00:02:11,063 --> 00:02:12,930
I need to do
something different.
17
00:02:12,931 --> 00:02:13,831
No problem.
18
00:02:13,832 --> 00:02:15,333
Next week when you're
watching tv,
19
00:02:15,334 --> 00:02:17,101
Try watching with
your mouth closed.
20
00:02:19,104 --> 00:02:20,738
I'm serious, al.
21
00:02:20,739 --> 00:02:23,107
They always give you a vacation.
22
00:02:23,108 --> 00:02:24,709
Remember last April?
23
00:02:24,710 --> 00:02:27,879
That was my hernia
operation, peg.
24
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:30,081
And then what about
christmas day?
25
00:02:30,082 --> 00:02:31,182
You remember?
26
00:02:31,183 --> 00:02:33,050
You didn't have to
go in until 2.
27
00:02:33,051 --> 00:02:34,852
Yeah, what a day.
28
00:02:34,853 --> 00:02:36,922
Between stepping over
your egg-nogged body
29
00:02:36,923 --> 00:02:38,489
And thawing out my underwear
30
00:02:38,490 --> 00:02:41,993
You so thoughtfully left
on the clothesline outside...
31
00:02:41,994 --> 00:02:44,295
I did have about
five seconds of fun.
32
00:02:44,296 --> 00:02:46,097
It was watching
all those stars
33
00:02:46,098 --> 00:02:48,967
When I stepped on the shovel
bud left buried in the snow.
34
00:02:56,008 --> 00:02:58,409
Why is it that whenever
I want something,
35
00:02:58,410 --> 00:03:00,879
All you can talk about
is yourself?
36
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:04,849
It's always my back,
my hernia, my 'roids.
37
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,322
Don't you see the rut
our lives have become?
38
00:03:11,323 --> 00:03:13,291
I need a vacation.
39
00:03:13,292 --> 00:03:16,461
Peg, if you want to
visit someplace new,
try the kitchen.
40
00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:22,933
And while you're
out there,
41
00:03:22,934 --> 00:03:25,236
Don't forgot to take
a picture by the refrigerator.
42
00:03:25,237 --> 00:03:27,305
You know,
old empty.
43
00:03:29,808 --> 00:03:31,108
God, I hate men!
44
00:03:35,481 --> 00:03:37,315
I thought you were
man's best friend.
45
00:03:44,690 --> 00:03:47,559
Oh, that's a dog,
not a chicken.
Sorry, marcie.
46
00:03:50,129 --> 00:03:51,763
Oh, shut up, you hamhock.
47
00:03:52,998 --> 00:03:54,932
Peggy, read this note
from steve.
48
00:03:54,933 --> 00:03:57,835
It was waiting
on my pillow when
I came home from work.
49
00:03:57,836 --> 00:03:58,836
"dear marcie--"
50
00:03:58,837 --> 00:04:01,906
"dear marcie"
my sweet patootie!
51
00:04:01,907 --> 00:04:03,941
The geek is
leaving me!
52
00:04:03,942 --> 00:04:07,478
Oh, he doesn't mean that.
He loves you.
53
00:04:07,479 --> 00:04:08,813
I guess
you're right.
54
00:04:08,814 --> 00:04:11,749
He probably meant to
say that when
he wrote this:
55
00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:14,619
"frankly, I'm sick
of you. You disgust me.
56
00:04:16,354 --> 00:04:21,325
"I had a full head
of hair when
I met you...
57
00:04:21,326 --> 00:04:26,063
And I'm sure my nose grew
during our marriage."
58
00:04:26,064 --> 00:04:30,134
He says he's going
to yosemite to be
a park ranger.
59
00:04:30,135 --> 00:04:32,102
He's rejected
materialism
60
00:04:32,103 --> 00:04:35,807
And all the evils
brought about
by the quest for money.
61
00:04:35,808 --> 00:04:38,208
Oh. And he's suing me
for alimony.
62
00:04:38,209 --> 00:04:40,178
[laughing]
63
00:04:43,215 --> 00:04:45,850
Be strong, marce.
You don't need a man.
64
00:04:45,851 --> 00:04:47,852
I mean, what are they
good for?
65
00:04:47,853 --> 00:04:49,253
They sit there
like a lump.
66
00:04:49,254 --> 00:04:52,156
They pick, they burp,
they let one fly.
67
00:04:57,129 --> 00:05:00,464
And then they smile
like they just won
the nobel prize.
68
00:05:03,768 --> 00:05:04,802
Oh.
69
00:05:07,873 --> 00:05:10,074
And then once a month,
they roll over on you
70
00:05:10,075 --> 00:05:11,342
On their way
to the bathroom,
71
00:05:11,343 --> 00:05:13,545
And they call that
loving.
72
00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:18,116
Not that you're
not the best, baby.
73
00:05:21,953 --> 00:05:24,355
You should feel lucky
steve left you.
74
00:05:24,356 --> 00:05:27,158
This is the dawn
of a new age
for you, marce.
75
00:05:27,159 --> 00:05:30,094
You know, peggy.
You're right.
76
00:05:30,095 --> 00:05:32,130
I can do better
than steve.
77
00:05:32,131 --> 00:05:33,564
I have my health.
78
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:36,767
Both:
Right.
79
00:05:36,768 --> 00:05:38,769
I have my youth.
80
00:05:38,770 --> 00:05:40,271
Right.
Yup.
81
00:05:40,272 --> 00:05:41,906
I've got
my looks.
82
00:05:44,643 --> 00:05:47,545
Thank god I have you
for a support group.
83
00:05:47,546 --> 00:05:49,580
Well, it's steve's loss.
84
00:05:49,581 --> 00:05:52,449
If he can't handle a strong,
intelligent woman,
85
00:05:52,450 --> 00:05:54,052
Then tough noogies on him.
86
00:05:55,321 --> 00:05:56,120
That's right,
marce.
87
00:05:56,121 --> 00:05:57,555
He'll come crawling
back to you.
88
00:05:57,556 --> 00:05:59,457
He will. I think this
is just gonna blow over.
89
00:05:59,458 --> 00:06:00,458
You'll be just fine.
90
00:06:00,459 --> 00:06:01,826
Go ahead.
Go home.
91
00:06:01,827 --> 00:06:02,960
Right.
92
00:06:04,162 --> 00:06:05,730
I'm gonna go home...
93
00:06:05,731 --> 00:06:07,866
And cut the crotches
out of all of his pants.
94
00:06:10,503 --> 00:06:12,436
And drag his ties
through dog poo.
95
00:06:14,306 --> 00:06:17,775
As far as I'm concerned,
it's just one less egg to fry.
96
00:06:20,178 --> 00:06:21,946
[doorbell rings]
97
00:06:25,251 --> 00:06:26,384
I don't want
to be alone.
98
00:06:26,385 --> 00:06:28,219
I'm afraid, I'm weak
and helpless.
99
00:06:28,220 --> 00:06:30,888
There, there.
There, there.
100
00:06:30,889 --> 00:06:32,856
Now...Peel her off me,
will you?
101
00:06:34,759 --> 00:06:38,796
Now, marcie. It's
gonna be all right.
102
00:06:38,797 --> 00:06:40,431
You can just
stay here with us.
103
00:06:40,432 --> 00:06:41,932
[mouths]
no.
104
00:06:41,933 --> 00:06:43,268
I won't be
in the way?
105
00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:45,403
Oh,
of course not.
[mouthing words]
106
00:06:46,405 --> 00:06:47,572
Oh, you're
good people...
107
00:06:49,608 --> 00:06:50,808
And good friends.
108
00:06:52,911 --> 00:06:55,213
Marcie, you're more
like family.
109
00:06:55,214 --> 00:06:59,016
Al...Brush the fleas
off buck's blanket.
110
00:06:59,017 --> 00:07:00,384
We have a guest.
111
00:07:03,222 --> 00:07:07,158
"gee, garfield,
are those leftovers?"
112
00:07:07,159 --> 00:07:09,627
[laughing]
113
00:07:19,771 --> 00:07:22,273
Hi, kelly.
I...See your butt's moving.
114
00:07:22,274 --> 00:07:24,209
You must be reading.
115
00:07:26,445 --> 00:07:28,346
Gee, bud, you look
a little bit pale.
116
00:07:28,347 --> 00:07:31,582
It must be your face
trying to peek out
from behind your pimples.
117
00:07:32,918 --> 00:07:34,419
Oh, big news
in the neighborhood.
118
00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:37,288
Mr. Rhoades dropped
mrs. Rhoades like an old shoe.
119
00:07:37,289 --> 00:07:38,489
No kidding?
120
00:07:38,490 --> 00:07:40,958
Yup. He left her
to go be a ranger
in that park?
121
00:07:40,959 --> 00:07:42,927
You know, the one where
yogi bear lives?
122
00:07:46,532 --> 00:07:48,265
Jellystone
national park?
123
00:07:50,068 --> 00:07:52,436
No, the other one.
Yose-might.
124
00:07:56,809 --> 00:08:00,311
Man...How do you
leave a babe like that?
125
00:08:02,213 --> 00:08:04,882
You know, bud...
This could be
your big chance.
126
00:08:06,918 --> 00:08:08,052
What do you mean?
127
00:08:08,053 --> 00:08:11,155
Well, mrs. Rhoades
is staying with us tonight.
128
00:08:11,156 --> 00:08:12,422
She's man-less.
129
00:08:12,423 --> 00:08:14,458
And you must have seen
how she looks at you.
130
00:08:14,459 --> 00:08:16,060
Well, sure.
131
00:08:18,997 --> 00:08:20,197
How?
132
00:08:21,366 --> 00:08:24,402
Bud, don't be a cowpie
your whole life.
133
00:08:24,403 --> 00:08:26,003
She's hot for you.
134
00:08:26,004 --> 00:08:27,638
She's reaching
her sexual peak.
135
00:08:27,639 --> 00:08:31,008
You're reaching your sexual
peak, sad as that may be.
136
00:08:32,277 --> 00:08:33,711
I mean, this could be
your big chance.
137
00:08:33,712 --> 00:08:35,479
And what woman
wouldn't want a virgin?
138
00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:36,347
Yeah!
139
00:08:40,819 --> 00:08:43,621
I'll-- I'll lie to her
about that part,
but, uh...
140
00:08:47,659 --> 00:08:49,460
When do you think
I should make my move?
141
00:08:49,461 --> 00:08:52,630
You'll know when
the time is right.
142
00:08:52,631 --> 00:08:55,532
Man! I'm gonna
get me an old woman.
143
00:08:59,805 --> 00:09:01,405
What an idiot.
144
00:09:02,474 --> 00:09:05,843
"odie, did you eat
my la-sag-knee?"
145
00:09:05,844 --> 00:09:08,212
[laughs]
146
00:09:11,749 --> 00:09:13,184
Hi, mrs. Rhoades.
147
00:09:14,353 --> 00:09:15,920
I guess you heard the news.
148
00:09:15,921 --> 00:09:18,556
Oh, you mean about how
mr. Rhoades used and left you
149
00:09:18,557 --> 00:09:21,492
Like you were the hand wipe
in the men's room
at the bus station?
150
00:09:22,795 --> 00:09:25,930
Ahem, yes.
That news.
151
00:09:25,931 --> 00:09:27,031
Straw head.
152
00:09:29,034 --> 00:09:30,935
Mrs. Rhoades,
let me help you out.
153
00:09:30,936 --> 00:09:33,171
See, you're a nerd girl.
154
00:09:35,441 --> 00:09:37,341
And nerd girls get dumped.
155
00:09:37,342 --> 00:09:39,510
It's as inevitable as
death in texas.
156
00:09:42,381 --> 00:09:45,682
So, what you've gotta do
is get yourself a new guy.
157
00:09:45,683 --> 00:09:47,685
Oh, no more men for me.
158
00:09:47,686 --> 00:09:52,423
The next man that lays a finger
on me, I'll slap him silly.
159
00:09:55,594 --> 00:09:57,128
Excuse me.
160
00:10:00,031 --> 00:10:02,065
What are you gonna do
if a man touches you?
161
00:10:02,066 --> 00:10:04,067
Slap them silly.
162
00:10:04,068 --> 00:10:05,068
[laughs]
163
00:10:07,806 --> 00:10:09,907
Kelly:
She's primed
and ready. Go!
164
00:10:21,019 --> 00:10:23,687
Coo-coo-ca-choo,
mrs. Robinson.
165
00:10:29,094 --> 00:10:31,896
Oh, hi, bud.
My, you look nice.
166
00:10:31,897 --> 00:10:34,598
Uhh, so do I.
167
00:10:38,670 --> 00:10:40,871
Listen, uh...
168
00:10:40,872 --> 00:10:43,541
I know you're
hurting, babe.
169
00:10:43,542 --> 00:10:46,410
I just wanted to say
if you need a friend
or a...
170
00:10:46,411 --> 00:10:48,479
Shoulder
to lean on or...
171
00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:51,248
A knee
to bounce on...
172
00:10:53,284 --> 00:10:56,587
Just dial "a" for
"all night long."
173
00:11:00,992 --> 00:11:03,828
Why, thank you, bud.
I appreciate that.
174
00:11:05,263 --> 00:11:08,566
Actually...I really do
need someone to talk to.
175
00:11:08,567 --> 00:11:11,134
Steve and I have been
together for so long.
176
00:11:11,135 --> 00:11:13,738
I understand.
177
00:11:13,739 --> 00:11:16,106
How could I
have been so blind?
178
00:11:16,107 --> 00:11:19,610
Look, uh, let's
cut through
the fancy talk.
179
00:11:19,611 --> 00:11:23,180
We both know what
we want here. Mm. Mm.
180
00:11:24,916 --> 00:11:26,217
[loud slap]
181
00:11:30,088 --> 00:11:33,124
And if you ever
touch me again,
182
00:11:33,125 --> 00:11:37,228
I will slap you so hard,
even your name
will be swollen.
183
00:11:38,597 --> 00:11:39,597
Got me?
184
00:11:39,598 --> 00:11:40,831
[squealing]
uh-huh.
185
00:11:50,576 --> 00:11:52,243
What did I
do wrong?
186
00:11:52,244 --> 00:11:53,744
Nothing.
187
00:11:53,745 --> 00:11:55,879
Don't you know
anything about women?
188
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:59,283
Well, no.
189
00:11:59,284 --> 00:12:00,718
Well, I do.
190
00:12:00,719 --> 00:12:02,886
Her fists were saying
"no, no,"
191
00:12:02,887 --> 00:12:06,324
But there was
"yes, yes," in her eyes.
192
00:12:06,325 --> 00:12:08,226
Really?
193
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,860
Sure. Listen,
194
00:12:09,861 --> 00:12:12,630
Next time she bends over,
you just take...
195
00:12:15,667 --> 00:12:16,867
Hi, marcie.
196
00:12:16,868 --> 00:12:18,969
Listen...I want you
to be comfortable,
197
00:12:18,970 --> 00:12:20,838
So I brought you
this pillow.
198
00:12:20,839 --> 00:12:22,039
Oh.
199
00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:25,075
It's nice
and soft.
200
00:12:25,076 --> 00:12:27,711
Oh, yeah.
It has to be.
201
00:12:27,712 --> 00:12:31,015
Al uses it to sit on
when his 'roids flare up.
202
00:12:36,021 --> 00:12:38,789
So...How you doing?
203
00:12:38,790 --> 00:12:41,825
Oh, peggy, I feel
so alone, so miserable.
204
00:12:41,826 --> 00:12:44,161
How am I gonna make it?
What am I gonna do?
205
00:12:44,162 --> 00:12:45,629
Be happy.
206
00:12:45,630 --> 00:12:48,065
Forget that your husband
left you.
207
00:12:48,066 --> 00:12:49,834
Pretend he died.
208
00:12:51,303 --> 00:12:54,338
You can't tell me you've
never fantasized about that.
209
00:12:56,208 --> 00:12:59,944
Come on, marcie.
We all have.
210
00:13:00,979 --> 00:13:02,847
[laughter]
211
00:13:02,848 --> 00:13:04,581
See?
212
00:13:04,582 --> 00:13:07,751
Now, what you've got to do
is start thinking
about yourself.
213
00:13:07,752 --> 00:13:09,720
Be selfish.
214
00:13:09,721 --> 00:13:13,190
I know. Take us
on a vacation. Huh.
215
00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:17,361
That'll show
that damn al.
216
00:13:17,362 --> 00:13:18,929
I-- I mean,
steve.
217
00:13:20,332 --> 00:13:22,699
A vacation.
God, I wish I could.
218
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:24,634
But where would I
get the money?
219
00:13:24,635 --> 00:13:28,405
Gee...That's a tough one
when you don't have kids
to steal from.
220
00:13:30,241 --> 00:13:32,410
I know. Sell something
of steve's.
221
00:13:32,411 --> 00:13:34,878
He took everything...
Except his stereo.
222
00:13:34,879 --> 00:13:37,381
And he wants me to
crate it and ship it to him.
223
00:13:37,382 --> 00:13:39,350
I guess you can't be
a real park ranger
224
00:13:39,351 --> 00:13:43,320
Without the theme
from brigadoon
blasting on your stereo.
225
00:13:43,321 --> 00:13:45,322
Sell it.
226
00:13:45,323 --> 00:13:46,523
I tell you what.
227
00:13:46,524 --> 00:13:47,924
Would it make you
feel better
228
00:13:47,925 --> 00:13:51,162
If I sold something of al's
and came with you?
229
00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:52,463
Oh, peggy, would you?
230
00:13:52,464 --> 00:13:53,497
Al:
Hey, peg!
231
00:13:53,498 --> 00:13:56,233
Come pop this thing
under my arm!
232
00:13:58,903 --> 00:14:00,804
Well, let's go first thing
in the morning.
233
00:14:00,805 --> 00:14:03,607
Al's a tiger after
he's been popped.
234
00:14:09,114 --> 00:14:12,015
I don't know, kel.
I did everything
you said.
235
00:14:13,084 --> 00:14:14,985
I goosed her.
I blew in her ear.
236
00:14:16,321 --> 00:14:18,756
I even made
that sexy sound
with my armpit.
237
00:14:21,159 --> 00:14:22,359
You think she's
frigid?
238
00:14:23,829 --> 00:14:26,430
You know, bud,
it's time to
step things up.
239
00:14:26,431 --> 00:14:28,665
You've got to show her
that you're for real.
240
00:14:28,666 --> 00:14:31,535
Do something
that screams romance.
241
00:14:31,536 --> 00:14:34,371
Buy a single rose, hold it
in between your teeth
242
00:14:34,372 --> 00:14:35,672
And wait for her
in her bed.
243
00:14:37,309 --> 00:14:39,810
I know. Wear your
ghostbusters jammies.
244
00:14:42,414 --> 00:14:44,114
But don't
tuck them in.
245
00:14:46,985 --> 00:14:48,051
[grunts]
246
00:14:48,052 --> 00:14:49,486
[both grunt]
247
00:14:56,761 --> 00:14:58,929
What the hell's wrong
with this remote control?
248
00:14:58,930 --> 00:15:00,697
Well, dad, I'm no
electrician,
249
00:15:00,698 --> 00:15:02,800
But I'd say
the trouble is
the tv's gone.
250
00:15:11,642 --> 00:15:14,245
Oh, and by the way,
dad, so is mom.
251
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:17,414
Wait a second.
Let's not gloss over
this tv thing.
252
00:15:21,119 --> 00:15:22,352
Where the hell is it?
253
00:15:22,988 --> 00:15:25,122
Las vegas!
254
00:15:27,558 --> 00:15:29,326
Woah!
255
00:15:30,896 --> 00:15:33,296
Oh! The lights,
the money.
256
00:15:33,297 --> 00:15:34,732
The men!
257
00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:37,000
I'm as giddy
as a widow.
258
00:15:37,001 --> 00:15:40,070
Well...Let's just
check in.
259
00:15:40,071 --> 00:15:42,840
After a nice bubble bath
and a good night's sleep,
260
00:15:42,841 --> 00:15:44,407
We'll start bright
and early.
261
00:15:44,408 --> 00:15:47,544
I hear they've got
a really neat dam
not far from here.
262
00:15:47,545 --> 00:15:49,913
Oh, it's gonna be
so much-- peggy?
263
00:15:49,914 --> 00:15:51,582
Come on, baby.
264
00:15:51,583 --> 00:15:53,384
Mama needs
a new pair of men.
265
00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:57,388
[coins clatter]
266
00:15:57,389 --> 00:16:00,057
I won! I won!
267
00:16:00,058 --> 00:16:03,127
Look! 75 cents
from one quarter.
268
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:05,029
How does this place
stay in business?
269
00:16:05,030 --> 00:16:06,397
Let me play!
Let me play!
270
00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:07,531
All:
Yay!
271
00:16:08,433 --> 00:16:10,701
Oh. What are we messing
with quarters for?
272
00:16:10,702 --> 00:16:12,102
The real money's
over there.
273
00:16:12,103 --> 00:16:13,303
Come on, marcie,
let's go.
274
00:16:13,304 --> 00:16:14,738
Oh. Maybe we should
take it slow.
275
00:16:14,739 --> 00:16:16,473
Not when we're
on a streak.
276
00:16:16,474 --> 00:16:18,875
We just got here and
we're almost up a buck.
277
00:16:20,178 --> 00:16:21,178
We're hot.
278
00:16:21,179 --> 00:16:22,513
Come on, grab the bags.
279
00:16:23,548 --> 00:16:24,548
Excuse me.
280
00:16:24,549 --> 00:16:26,450
Excuse me.
Make way. Make way.
281
00:16:26,451 --> 00:16:27,551
Ho-ho-ho-ho.
282
00:16:27,552 --> 00:16:29,153
Excuse me.
Make way. Make way.
283
00:16:30,455 --> 00:16:31,989
Oh! Don't you
recognize
284
00:16:31,990 --> 00:16:34,358
A lady when
you see one? Ha-ha.
285
00:16:36,962 --> 00:16:38,195
[coins clatter]
286
00:16:39,464 --> 00:16:40,998
[laughs]
287
00:16:44,369 --> 00:16:48,138
God. What did they have,
a toupee sale here?
288
00:16:57,048 --> 00:16:59,516
I would like
$20 worth of chips
289
00:16:59,517 --> 00:17:03,387
And a nubian god
to carry home
my winnings.
290
00:17:03,388 --> 00:17:05,289
I'm marcie.
I hate men.
291
00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:07,992
But if you get me drunk,
I'm yours.
292
00:17:09,727 --> 00:17:11,228
New shooter
coming out.
293
00:17:11,229 --> 00:17:13,964
Okay. Give me room.
Give me room.
294
00:17:13,965 --> 00:17:16,734
Oh, not you.
You stay close.
295
00:17:18,036 --> 00:17:19,336
Let's go!
296
00:17:26,210 --> 00:17:28,745
Lady...Roll them
or buy them.
297
00:17:28,746 --> 00:17:30,614
Thank you.
298
00:17:30,615 --> 00:17:34,618
C'mon baby.
Give me a seven
or send me to heaven.
299
00:17:35,287 --> 00:17:36,353
Seven.
300
00:17:36,354 --> 00:17:37,688
[crowd cheering]
301
00:17:37,689 --> 00:17:38,489
Did we win?
302
00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:40,691
Of course we won.
303
00:17:40,692 --> 00:17:43,794
You know what they say:
Bad marriage, good luck.
304
00:17:43,795 --> 00:17:44,928
Place your bets.
305
00:17:44,929 --> 00:17:46,296
Okay.
306
00:17:46,297 --> 00:17:49,567
Don't give me a two
because my husband
sells shoes.
307
00:17:50,401 --> 00:17:51,634
Seven.
308
00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:52,636
[crowd cheering]
aah!
309
00:17:52,637 --> 00:17:55,306
Oh! We won again!
We won again!
310
00:17:55,307 --> 00:17:57,107
How does this place
stay in business?
311
00:17:57,108 --> 00:18:00,477
Oh, I don't know, marce...
But grease up the men
and shoot the women,
312
00:18:00,478 --> 00:18:02,279
Because I'm a-rolling!
313
00:18:06,450 --> 00:18:08,118
Well, what are we
gonna do now?
314
00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:11,054
We lost all our money...
In eight minutes.
315
00:18:13,391 --> 00:18:14,925
We lost our plane
tickets home.
316
00:18:14,926 --> 00:18:17,961
And we can't even
afford a room.
317
00:18:17,962 --> 00:18:19,096
Yeah...
318
00:18:19,097 --> 00:18:21,465
But we had fun,
didn't we?
319
00:18:21,466 --> 00:18:23,367
Yeah. Yeah, right.
320
00:18:23,368 --> 00:18:26,169
Well, I guess I'll go
fluff up a cactus
and sleep in the desert.
321
00:18:26,170 --> 00:18:27,504
Well, you know
what they say:
322
00:18:27,505 --> 00:18:29,472
The early bird catches
the gila monster.
Hm.
323
00:18:30,708 --> 00:18:34,177
Boy, you lose your husband
and your life savings.
324
00:18:34,178 --> 00:18:36,313
It doesn't take much
to bring you down,
does it?
325
00:18:36,314 --> 00:18:37,414
[laughs]
326
00:18:39,183 --> 00:18:41,117
You know, I just know
if I had a bigger stake,
327
00:18:41,118 --> 00:18:43,186
I could break this place.
328
00:18:43,187 --> 00:18:46,122
There's just got to be
a way to get more money.
329
00:18:46,123 --> 00:18:47,090
[sighs]
330
00:18:57,435 --> 00:19:00,537
Hello, sergeant?
This is al bundy again.
331
00:19:00,538 --> 00:19:03,674
Listen, I'm...Really starting
to get worried now.
332
00:19:05,009 --> 00:19:06,910
I'm sorry. It's getting hard
for me to talk.
333
00:19:06,911 --> 00:19:08,712
Let me...Calm down.
334
00:19:08,713 --> 00:19:10,413
A description?
335
00:19:10,414 --> 00:19:12,248
Okay.
336
00:19:12,249 --> 00:19:14,217
Nineteen inch, diagonal.
337
00:19:19,824 --> 00:19:21,758
Has a...Maple--
338
00:19:22,894 --> 00:19:24,394
Maple console.
339
00:19:24,395 --> 00:19:26,363
And it's got notches in it
from where the--
340
00:19:26,364 --> 00:19:27,864
Where the kids grew.
341
00:19:27,865 --> 00:19:29,232
[cries]
342
00:19:30,468 --> 00:19:31,802
Dad, what about mom?
343
00:19:31,803 --> 00:19:34,271
Oh, yeah, my wife's
missing too. Uh...
344
00:19:35,239 --> 00:19:36,540
What? A description?
345
00:19:36,541 --> 00:19:38,642
I don't know.
Listen...You guys
are awful busy.
346
00:19:38,643 --> 00:19:40,010
Why don't you find
the tv first,
347
00:19:40,011 --> 00:19:41,679
And then we'll worry
about the wife.
348
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:42,846
Yeah.
349
00:19:42,847 --> 00:19:45,416
Uh, listen, let me know
if you hear anything, huh?
350
00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:46,583
All right. Goodbye.
351
00:19:57,595 --> 00:20:02,365
Why didn't I let you know
how I felt about you
when I had the chance?
352
00:20:02,366 --> 00:20:04,968
Gee, dad, we've never
seen you touched
like this before.
353
00:20:04,969 --> 00:20:08,305
Well, it's just that
I loved that tv so much.
354
00:20:08,306 --> 00:20:10,874
We all did, dad.
Yeah.
355
00:20:10,875 --> 00:20:12,676
[doorbell rings]
356
00:20:12,677 --> 00:20:13,677
Who is it?
357
00:20:13,678 --> 00:20:15,012
Pizza
boy.
358
00:20:20,918 --> 00:20:21,951
Here.
359
00:20:21,952 --> 00:20:23,086
Twelve dollars,
please.
360
00:20:23,087 --> 00:20:24,087
Yep.
361
00:20:24,088 --> 00:20:25,221
[laughs]
362
00:20:25,222 --> 00:20:27,090
No, mr. Bundy,
I'm gonna need cash.
363
00:20:27,091 --> 00:20:29,393
Uh, your credit card
was rejected.
364
00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:32,061
What? That's impossible.
I just paid it off.
365
00:20:32,062 --> 00:20:33,263
[sighs]
366
00:20:33,264 --> 00:20:36,299
Look, bundy, I held up
my part of the deal.
367
00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:39,736
I sideswiped a hearse
to get you this pizza
in 22 minutes.
368
00:20:39,737 --> 00:20:41,705
Fork over
the 12 bucks.
369
00:20:41,706 --> 00:20:43,874
I don't have
that kind of money.
370
00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:57,620
Wait a second.
I'll take care
of this.
371
00:20:57,621 --> 00:20:59,556
I know my credit's
good.
372
00:21:05,630 --> 00:21:06,963
Hello. Al bundy here.
373
00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:10,800
Yes, "no tip" bundy.
374
00:21:10,801 --> 00:21:14,138
Now, look, it seems you people
made a little mistake.
375
00:21:14,139 --> 00:21:16,706
Now, I ordered a pizza
and it seems my credit card
was-- what?
376
00:21:18,243 --> 00:21:22,078
No, I did not charge $5000
in the last 10 minutes.
377
00:21:25,416 --> 00:21:27,351
I see.
378
00:21:27,352 --> 00:21:30,720
And just exactly where did my
wife spend this alleged 5 grand?
379
00:21:32,790 --> 00:21:34,257
Thank you very much.
380
00:21:37,262 --> 00:21:40,731
Kids, get a change of clothes
and a baseball bat...
381
00:21:40,732 --> 00:21:42,532
Because we're going to vegas!
382
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:05,622
[♪]
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