Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,402 --> 00:00:05,804
[♪]
2
00:01:15,508 --> 00:01:17,075
Oh, come on.
3
00:01:17,076 --> 00:01:19,444
I really don't
spend that much.
4
00:01:19,445 --> 00:01:22,780
Can't I keep just one
of my credit cards?
5
00:01:22,781 --> 00:01:25,150
I'll make you
a sandwich.
6
00:01:28,854 --> 00:01:30,722
No, thank you,
ma'am.
7
00:01:30,723 --> 00:01:32,490
I had a couple of
doughnuts this morning,
8
00:01:32,491 --> 00:01:34,492
Waiting for a jumper
to make up his mind.
9
00:01:37,129 --> 00:01:38,262
The cards,
please.
10
00:01:39,332 --> 00:01:40,865
Okay, fine.
11
00:01:40,866 --> 00:01:42,800
But you ought
to be ashamed.
12
00:01:42,801 --> 00:01:44,836
You really don't have
anything better to do
13
00:01:44,837 --> 00:01:45,870
Than harass me
14
00:01:45,871 --> 00:01:48,340
When there are real
criminals out there?
15
00:01:48,341 --> 00:01:50,908
I mean,
my husband alone
16
00:01:50,909 --> 00:01:54,546
Has over 100 unpaid
parking tickets.
17
00:01:59,552 --> 00:02:02,420
That's al bundy,
right?
18
00:02:02,421 --> 00:02:03,688
Uh-huh.
19
00:02:04,823 --> 00:02:08,460
Don't tell him
that I told you.
20
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:11,796
Uh, is there any reward
for turning him in?
21
00:02:18,604 --> 00:02:20,438
Hey, don't forget,
22
00:02:20,439 --> 00:02:24,342
If we paid taxes,
we'd be paying your salary.
23
00:02:29,415 --> 00:02:32,650
Well, kids, we have
no more credit cards.
24
00:02:32,651 --> 00:02:34,151
Let this be
a lesson to you.
25
00:02:34,152 --> 00:02:36,153
Marry someone
who can afford you.
26
00:02:38,490 --> 00:02:40,592
Mom, was there
ever a time
27
00:02:40,593 --> 00:02:42,960
When dad could have
made something of his life?
28
00:02:44,096 --> 00:02:48,699
Yes, actually,
back before you were born,
29
00:02:48,700 --> 00:02:50,936
I remember we were
watching tv,
30
00:02:50,937 --> 00:02:53,171
And he said,
"I wish there was some way
31
00:02:53,172 --> 00:02:55,373
To change the channel
from my seat."
32
00:02:56,375 --> 00:02:58,543
That was as close
as he ever came.
33
00:02:59,778 --> 00:03:02,613
Still not
a bad idea.
34
00:03:07,486 --> 00:03:10,322
Hi, honey.
How was your day?
35
00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:11,556
Hey, I came home.
36
00:03:11,557 --> 00:03:13,992
How good could it
have been?
37
00:03:21,299 --> 00:03:24,268
But at least I got to cheer
the guys up at the gas station.
38
00:03:24,269 --> 00:03:26,470
See, after I filled up
the old war-wagon,
39
00:03:26,471 --> 00:03:28,472
I pulled out
the credit card.
40
00:03:28,473 --> 00:03:31,275
They pulled out the switchblade,
cut it up.
41
00:03:32,110 --> 00:03:33,912
Then we all laughed.
42
00:03:35,313 --> 00:03:37,048
Then they
gave me a hose,
43
00:03:37,049 --> 00:03:39,951
Made me suck all the gas
back out of the car.
44
00:03:41,053 --> 00:03:42,754
But I got the last laugh,
though.
45
00:03:42,755 --> 00:03:45,590
I swallowed about
50 cents worth.
46
00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:49,694
Well, let's take
your mind off it.
47
00:03:49,695 --> 00:03:51,162
Here are the bills.
48
00:03:52,698 --> 00:03:54,132
Feel better,
honey?
49
00:03:58,304 --> 00:04:01,939
Ed mcmahon says I may
owe him $10 million?
50
00:04:06,779 --> 00:04:09,981
Oh, what are the chances
of it really being you?
51
00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:15,186
Ah, the phone bill.
52
00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:20,592
Hey, we qualify
for the gold bill.
53
00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:23,161
That's great!
I knew we
could do it!
54
00:04:23,162 --> 00:04:25,930
Peg, peg, could you
cut out the festivities
55
00:04:25,931 --> 00:04:27,198
Till after I'm done?
56
00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:30,435
Milwaukee, milwaukee,
milwaukee,
57
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:31,769
That's the town
they built
58
00:04:31,770 --> 00:04:34,405
Around your mother,
isn't it, peg?
59
00:04:36,675 --> 00:04:38,476
Look at all
these toll calls!
60
00:04:38,477 --> 00:04:41,278
Who called
the lust line?
61
00:04:43,382 --> 00:04:44,883
Well, it's not
what you think, dad.
62
00:04:44,884 --> 00:04:46,417
It's just
naked girls
63
00:04:46,418 --> 00:04:49,087
Talking dirty to me
on the phone.
64
00:04:49,088 --> 00:04:52,156
Well, that's okay,
then.
65
00:04:53,792 --> 00:04:56,094
What about these three pages
of toll calls
66
00:04:56,095 --> 00:04:58,696
To the heavy metal
hotline?
67
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,067
Oh, then, that must
have been me, dad.
68
00:05:03,068 --> 00:05:04,636
But I was saving
you money.
69
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:06,571
How did you
do that, pumpkin?
70
00:05:06,572 --> 00:05:09,974
Well, because they said
that it's $3.00
71
00:05:09,975 --> 00:05:11,142
For the first minute
72
00:05:11,143 --> 00:05:12,910
And 50 cents for each
additional minute.
73
00:05:12,911 --> 00:05:15,180
So, rather than
get charged extra,
74
00:05:15,181 --> 00:05:18,916
I'd hang up after a minute,
and then call back.
75
00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:30,562
Well, at least
she's trying, al.
76
00:05:31,797 --> 00:05:33,464
Oh, god!
77
00:05:38,036 --> 00:05:40,705
See, honey, we're sorry
you had a bad day.
78
00:05:40,706 --> 00:05:43,308
Would you like
some dinner?
79
00:05:45,977 --> 00:05:47,845
Yeah.
80
00:05:47,846 --> 00:05:51,349
Gee, I was hoping
you'd say no.
81
00:05:52,585 --> 00:05:55,119
Oh, hey, dad,
mrs. Donnelly called,
82
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,488
And she said her slipper
won't fit over her bunion,
83
00:05:57,489 --> 00:05:59,391
And she wants to know
what she should do.
84
00:05:59,392 --> 00:06:00,925
Start walking
on all fours
85
00:06:00,926 --> 00:06:02,861
The way god
intended her to.
86
00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:04,896
What's wrong
with these people?
87
00:06:04,897 --> 00:06:07,298
If I had a dime
for every time
88
00:06:07,299 --> 00:06:09,667
They called me
and asked for shoe advice, I--
89
00:06:12,003 --> 00:06:14,839
Wait a second.
I just had a vision.
90
00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:17,174
Peg, I think I know a way
that we can make a fortune.
91
00:06:17,175 --> 00:06:18,476
You want to hear
about it?
92
00:06:18,477 --> 00:06:19,711
No.
Not really.
93
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:21,913
I don't think so.
94
00:06:21,914 --> 00:06:23,948
I'll give you a hint.
95
00:06:23,949 --> 00:06:27,719
What can I do better
than anyone else?
96
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:31,355
Stink up a shoe?
97
00:06:31,957 --> 00:06:34,292
Sweat through the couch?
98
00:06:35,894 --> 00:06:37,929
Miss the toilet
in the dark?
99
00:06:42,234 --> 00:06:44,735
Hey, marcie.
Guess what.
100
00:06:44,736 --> 00:06:47,004
I'm closing another loan,
101
00:06:47,005 --> 00:06:48,539
And that puts me
in the lead
102
00:06:48,540 --> 00:06:52,076
For that free trip
to hawaii.
103
00:06:52,077 --> 00:06:56,447
Yeah, the hick's signing
the papers right now.
104
00:06:59,485 --> 00:07:00,585
Oh, not you.
105
00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:04,289
I was talking
about some other hick.
106
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:07,792
Uh, listen, marce,
the hick is staring at me.
107
00:07:07,793 --> 00:07:09,461
I gotta go.
108
00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:12,597
Keep the poi
warm for daddy.
109
00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:13,998
Thank you,
mr. Rhoades.
110
00:07:13,999 --> 00:07:16,201
Your loan
saved our farm.
111
00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:18,269
Well, you know,
we only care about you.
112
00:07:18,270 --> 00:07:21,572
Well, you know, you really have
to come for supper one night.
113
00:07:21,573 --> 00:07:24,042
Yeah, right, watch for me
in the window.
114
00:07:24,043 --> 00:07:25,143
Aloha!
115
00:07:26,545 --> 00:07:28,112
I'm in the lead.
116
00:07:28,113 --> 00:07:30,048
♪ I'm in the lead ♪
117
00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:33,351
I'm going
to hawaii.
118
00:07:33,352 --> 00:07:34,985
Hey, steve.
119
00:07:34,986 --> 00:07:36,420
I'm glad
I caught you.
120
00:07:36,421 --> 00:07:37,755
I need a loan.
121
00:07:37,756 --> 00:07:39,857
See, I'm gonna buy
my own toll line.
122
00:07:39,858 --> 00:07:40,858
Yeah,
it'll be great.
123
00:07:40,859 --> 00:07:42,460
People'll pay
2 bucks a pop
124
00:07:42,461 --> 00:07:43,628
Just to talk
to me.
125
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:45,129
Now, I know what
you're thinking,
126
00:07:45,130 --> 00:07:47,231
It's just another
sex line, but it isn't.
127
00:07:47,232 --> 00:07:50,468
This is something that
I know something about.
128
00:07:50,469 --> 00:07:52,036
Ready?
129
00:07:52,037 --> 00:07:55,606
555-shoe.
130
00:07:58,010 --> 00:08:01,278
Al, no banker
in his right mind
131
00:08:01,279 --> 00:08:02,714
Would give you
5 cents
132
00:08:02,715 --> 00:08:05,617
For such a moronic,
bunny-brained idea.
133
00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:08,620
[whistles]
134
00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:09,687
Ha-ha.
135
00:08:09,688 --> 00:08:12,056
Aloha,
rhoades.
136
00:08:12,057 --> 00:08:13,591
Ha-ha.
137
00:08:15,427 --> 00:08:17,028
Al, you've got
your loan.
138
00:08:17,029 --> 00:08:18,429
You need $50,000,
you say?
139
00:08:18,430 --> 00:08:20,198
Well, actually,
I only need 18.
140
00:08:20,199 --> 00:08:21,132
No, you need 50.
141
00:08:21,133 --> 00:08:22,867
Sign right here.
142
00:08:22,868 --> 00:08:24,802
We'll fill in
the rest later.
143
00:08:24,803 --> 00:08:26,637
[bell rings]
144
00:08:26,638 --> 00:08:28,840
Hawaii! Hawaii!
145
00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:30,108
Ha-ha.
146
00:08:38,883 --> 00:08:42,887
Tiny bubbles
up your nose, swensen.
147
00:08:42,888 --> 00:08:45,056
Rhoades, I want
to talk to you.
148
00:08:45,057 --> 00:08:47,058
Uh, yes, sir, mr. Peamon.
Right away, sir.
149
00:08:47,059 --> 00:08:49,427
Get lost, al.
It's the president.
150
00:08:54,199 --> 00:08:56,233
I voted
for you.
151
00:09:03,541 --> 00:09:05,409
What did you want
to see me about, sir?
152
00:09:05,410 --> 00:09:06,844
Rhoades, do you know
how many loans
153
00:09:06,845 --> 00:09:09,713
You've written this year
that have gone bad?
154
00:09:09,714 --> 00:09:11,215
One or two.
155
00:09:11,216 --> 00:09:12,283
Forty.
156
00:09:12,284 --> 00:09:14,585
[mouthing]
157
00:09:14,586 --> 00:09:17,421
Well, I guess that gives me
something to think about
158
00:09:17,422 --> 00:09:20,091
While I'm on
that beach in hawaii.
159
00:09:20,092 --> 00:09:21,658
Well, I hope your zeal
to win this trip
160
00:09:21,659 --> 00:09:23,060
Hasn't affected
your judgment.
161
00:09:23,061 --> 00:09:24,428
For example,
let's talk about
162
00:09:24,429 --> 00:09:26,164
The loan that
put you over the top.
163
00:09:26,165 --> 00:09:28,232
Yes, sir.
The, uh, bundy loan.
164
00:09:28,233 --> 00:09:29,233
Solid as they come.
165
00:09:29,234 --> 00:09:30,802
You really believe
in the loan?
166
00:09:30,803 --> 00:09:32,770
With my heart
and soul, sir.
167
00:09:32,771 --> 00:09:34,472
Would you put your job
on the line for it?
168
00:09:34,473 --> 00:09:35,773
No, sir.
169
00:09:35,774 --> 00:09:37,875
Then I will.
170
00:09:37,876 --> 00:09:40,344
If this bundy
doesn't come through,
171
00:09:40,345 --> 00:09:42,113
You're fired.
172
00:09:47,485 --> 00:09:49,686
Honey, no one is
stupid enough
173
00:09:49,687 --> 00:09:52,323
To call
a shoe hotline.
174
00:09:52,324 --> 00:09:53,324
Oh yeah?
175
00:09:53,325 --> 00:09:54,758
Well, everyone
in high school
176
00:09:54,759 --> 00:09:56,227
Said no one
was stupid enough
177
00:09:56,228 --> 00:09:58,762
To marry
the big redhead.
178
00:10:00,598 --> 00:10:02,699
But someone was,
wasn't he?
179
00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:03,868
Oh, look.
180
00:10:03,869 --> 00:10:05,436
Daddy's commercial's
coming on.
181
00:10:10,843 --> 00:10:15,012
Hi, I'm dr. Shoe.
182
00:10:15,013 --> 00:10:18,716
The man on the sideof your feet.
183
00:10:18,717 --> 00:10:19,817
I'm
a goner.
184
00:10:19,818 --> 00:10:21,486
Shh!
185
00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:24,488
Excuse me.
I'm getting a call.
186
00:10:30,628 --> 00:10:31,795
[rings]
187
00:10:33,431 --> 00:10:35,299
Dr. Shoe.
188
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:37,268
Hello.
189
00:10:37,269 --> 00:10:42,106
Oh, dr. Shoe,
I don't know what to do.
190
00:10:42,107 --> 00:10:44,742
I'm going to a party
in five minutes,
191
00:10:44,743 --> 00:10:47,745
And my shoes are too tight
for both of my feet.
192
00:10:47,746 --> 00:10:49,446
Ouch.
193
00:10:49,447 --> 00:10:50,848
Can you help me?
194
00:10:53,718 --> 00:10:55,452
Has this
happened to you?
195
00:10:55,453 --> 00:10:57,654
I'm willing
to bet that it has.
196
00:10:57,655 --> 00:10:58,722
As a matter of fact,
197
00:10:58,723 --> 00:11:02,159
I'm betting 50,000 bucks
that it has.
198
00:11:03,461 --> 00:11:06,931
So, if you're
like muffy here,
199
00:11:06,932 --> 00:11:09,166
Heh, heh,
200
00:11:09,167 --> 00:11:11,769
Or even if you're
just fat and ugly
201
00:11:11,770 --> 00:11:12,970
And have
a shoe problem,
202
00:11:12,971 --> 00:11:15,006
Call me
on the shoe line.
203
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:17,508
That's 555-shoe.
204
00:11:17,509 --> 00:11:19,277
Can I help?
205
00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:21,913
Shoe betcha!
206
00:11:21,914 --> 00:11:23,981
I feel
better already.
207
00:11:26,751 --> 00:11:27,985
And don't forget.
208
00:11:27,986 --> 00:11:31,289
Se habla shoe.
209
00:11:35,694 --> 00:11:37,195
I see you're all
looking at me
210
00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:39,897
A little bit
differently now.
211
00:11:40,432 --> 00:11:42,066
Okay, everybody,
212
00:11:42,067 --> 00:11:43,734
Man your positions
by the phone.
213
00:11:43,735 --> 00:11:45,870
Research shows 98 percent
of the calls happen
214
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:47,071
In the first
three minutes.
215
00:11:47,072 --> 00:11:48,672
Let's go!
Let's go!
216
00:11:58,917 --> 00:12:00,017
Honey,
217
00:12:00,018 --> 00:12:02,119
Let's just say
that for one minute,
218
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:06,190
This shoe line
doesn't work out.
219
00:12:06,191 --> 00:12:08,359
Not that I'm being
negative, mind you.
220
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:11,062
It's just that no one
has called today,
221
00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:14,065
And no one will call
for a million years.
222
00:12:15,700 --> 00:12:18,169
So, uh, honey,
223
00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:20,371
Just out of curiosity,
224
00:12:20,372 --> 00:12:22,039
What did you use
for collateral?
225
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:23,841
The only thing
we have.
226
00:12:23,842 --> 00:12:28,312
Our plunger with
100,000 miles on it?
227
00:12:28,313 --> 00:12:30,848
Yeah, that's right, peg.
Keep on stroking me.
228
00:12:32,784 --> 00:12:36,320
No, and this is where I made
my most brilliant move.
229
00:12:36,321 --> 00:12:39,023
All I had to do was
sign over the house.
230
00:12:41,026 --> 00:12:42,493
Good, honey.
231
00:12:42,494 --> 00:12:45,229
I was getting sick
of living indoors.
232
00:12:47,466 --> 00:12:50,301
Ok, kids. Come on,
it's almost midnight.
233
00:12:50,302 --> 00:12:51,736
Time for bed.
234
00:12:51,737 --> 00:12:53,270
Come on.
235
00:12:53,905 --> 00:12:55,205
[groans]
236
00:12:56,775 --> 00:12:58,008
Did dad get
any calls?
237
00:12:58,009 --> 00:13:00,410
Yeah, mom called
him an idiot.
238
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:05,015
Steve, you haven't
given up on me, have you?
239
00:13:07,585 --> 00:13:09,320
[doorbell rings]
240
00:13:09,321 --> 00:13:10,822
Dr. Shoe!
241
00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:13,457
It's the
doorbell, al.
242
00:13:13,458 --> 00:13:14,825
Well, get it, peg.
I'm on the phone.
243
00:13:14,826 --> 00:13:16,193
Dr. Shoe.
244
00:13:18,730 --> 00:13:21,031
The government
should be paying us.
245
00:13:21,032 --> 00:13:24,468
I mean, if he's
not disabled, who is?
246
00:13:27,172 --> 00:13:30,208
Well, steve, you told me
not to yell at you
247
00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:31,876
About the loan
until midnight.
248
00:13:31,877 --> 00:13:34,078
Then I'd see.
249
00:13:34,079 --> 00:13:36,247
What am
I seeing?
250
00:13:36,248 --> 00:13:37,681
Hello?
251
00:13:37,682 --> 00:13:39,650
Hello?
252
00:13:39,651 --> 00:13:40,717
Hello?
253
00:13:40,718 --> 00:13:42,053
Hello?
254
00:13:42,054 --> 00:13:44,187
Well, steve?
255
00:13:48,426 --> 00:13:51,461
He hasn't spoken
for hours, marcie.
256
00:13:52,964 --> 00:13:57,334
Don't you pull that
coma stuff with me, steven!
257
00:14:00,872 --> 00:14:04,675
You loaned
this man $50,000?
258
00:14:04,676 --> 00:14:07,611
That's $1,000
an iq point.
259
00:14:09,547 --> 00:14:11,015
And I can't
blame al.
260
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:12,183
A man gives
a gun to a chimp,
261
00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:13,784
And the chimp
shoots someone,
262
00:14:13,785 --> 00:14:16,153
You don't
blame the chimp.
263
00:14:23,394 --> 00:14:27,632
Hey! That was a hidden
dig at me, wasn't it?
264
00:14:30,301 --> 00:14:31,702
Well, let me tell
you something.
265
00:14:31,703 --> 00:14:32,870
The opera ain't over
266
00:14:32,871 --> 00:14:35,506
Till the last heterosexual
falls asleep.
267
00:14:37,309 --> 00:14:39,410
This idea
will work.
268
00:14:39,411 --> 00:14:41,679
How many calls
did you get tonight, al?
269
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:43,381
Dr. Shoe's files
are confidential.
270
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:45,283
None.
You got none!
271
00:14:45,284 --> 00:14:46,951
None today.
272
00:14:46,952 --> 00:14:48,853
Tomorrow,
twice as many!
273
00:14:51,990 --> 00:14:54,725
This is what you
loan money to?
274
00:14:56,227 --> 00:14:58,362
I wanted
to go to hawaii.
275
00:14:58,363 --> 00:15:00,464
Oh, well, steve,
276
00:15:00,465 --> 00:15:02,667
I guess much like
our honeymoon,
277
00:15:02,668 --> 00:15:04,835
It's up to me
to finish the job,
278
00:15:04,836 --> 00:15:07,037
And pay the bill.
279
00:15:09,207 --> 00:15:12,143
Al, I'm going to
loan you $50,000.
280
00:15:12,144 --> 00:15:13,377
We're rich!
281
00:15:13,378 --> 00:15:14,744
We're rich,
honey!
282
00:15:14,745 --> 00:15:16,080
I told you
I could do it, peg!
283
00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:17,414
[laughing]
284
00:15:17,415 --> 00:15:19,350
Oh, shut up.
285
00:15:19,351 --> 00:15:21,185
It's so you can
repay the loan
286
00:15:21,186 --> 00:15:24,889
And the human
dribble-glass here
can keep his job.
287
00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:26,791
I've got a good record
at my bank.
288
00:15:26,792 --> 00:15:28,225
I can bury
one bad loan.
289
00:15:28,226 --> 00:15:30,661
Al, I'll be over
in the morning
with the paperwork.
290
00:15:32,330 --> 00:15:33,764
Let's go, steve.
291
00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:37,334
Come home
and service me.
292
00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:45,576
And god help you
if you screw that up!
293
00:15:51,149 --> 00:15:54,685
This is your fault.
You should have to go.
294
00:15:58,389 --> 00:15:59,423
Come!
295
00:15:59,424 --> 00:16:00,958
Yes, dear.
296
00:16:12,603 --> 00:16:15,372
Boy, if you had
to service me
297
00:16:15,373 --> 00:16:17,308
Every time you did
something stupid,
298
00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:19,643
I'd be as flat
as an all-beef patty.
299
00:16:23,949 --> 00:16:26,717
Well, honey, at least
this stupid idea
300
00:16:26,718 --> 00:16:28,152
Didn't cost us
anything.
301
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:30,521
No, peg, it didn't cost
steve anything.
302
00:16:30,522 --> 00:16:32,356
We still
owe $50,000,
303
00:16:32,357 --> 00:16:34,057
It's just
to another bank.
304
00:16:34,058 --> 00:16:35,993
So, I'll be broke
and living in the gutter,
305
00:16:35,994 --> 00:16:38,796
But, peg, will
I still have you?
306
00:16:38,797 --> 00:16:42,400
Aw, al, you know
I'd never leave you.
Yeah.
307
00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:44,568
Then I truly
have nothing.
308
00:16:47,505 --> 00:16:49,072
But I'm not going
309
00:16:49,073 --> 00:16:50,474
To roll over
and play dead.
310
00:16:50,475 --> 00:16:53,844
Oh, yes, save something
for when we go to bed.
311
00:16:56,948 --> 00:17:00,618
No, my little
thumbscrew.
312
00:17:00,619 --> 00:17:02,553
I'm getting an idea.
313
00:17:02,554 --> 00:17:05,789
I'm not going
to pay steve back.
314
00:17:05,790 --> 00:17:09,360
I'm going to reinvest
in my shoe line.
315
00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:12,295
Al bundy is not going into
the gutter owing $50,000.
316
00:17:12,296 --> 00:17:15,699
I'm going into the gutter
owing $100,000.
317
00:17:17,869 --> 00:17:20,804
Hi, I'm dr. Shoe.
318
00:17:20,805 --> 00:17:23,540
Awhile back,
I advertised my shoe line,
319
00:17:23,541 --> 00:17:26,143
But apparently,
you weren't watching.
320
00:17:28,013 --> 00:17:29,546
So I'm back.
321
00:17:29,547 --> 00:17:32,282
Now, you can't tell me you
haven't bought defective shoes,
322
00:17:32,283 --> 00:17:33,283
'cause I know.
323
00:17:33,284 --> 00:17:34,652
I sell 'em.
324
00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:39,289
So call 555-shoe.
325
00:17:39,290 --> 00:17:41,158
Even if you don't
have a problem,
326
00:17:41,159 --> 00:17:42,860
And you just want
to talk about feet.
327
00:17:42,861 --> 00:17:44,327
Call.
I'm serious.
328
00:17:44,328 --> 00:17:45,963
This is not
a recorded message.
329
00:17:45,964 --> 00:17:47,931
I am a human being,
damn it!
330
00:17:49,634 --> 00:17:51,035
That number is
331
00:17:51,036 --> 00:17:54,004
555-shoe.
332
00:17:54,672 --> 00:17:55,873
Let's go!
333
00:18:04,382 --> 00:18:07,084
Hi, dr. Shoe again.
334
00:18:07,085 --> 00:18:09,586
I've been telling you
about my shoe line.
335
00:18:09,587 --> 00:18:11,021
Nobody cares.
336
00:18:11,022 --> 00:18:14,858
So let me mention
something else here.
337
00:18:14,859 --> 00:18:18,962
555-shoe also spells
338
00:18:18,963 --> 00:18:21,832
555-rind,
339
00:18:21,833 --> 00:18:24,134
555-pinf,
340
00:18:24,135 --> 00:18:27,638
And 555-rgne.
341
00:18:27,639 --> 00:18:30,974
Remember, nobody knows
as much about "rgne"
342
00:18:30,975 --> 00:18:32,676
As dr. Rgne.
343
00:18:37,749 --> 00:18:40,518
Hello,it's dr. Shoe again.
344
00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:42,419
I've made several pleas
and nobody cares,
345
00:18:42,420 --> 00:18:46,056
So let's cut the crap,
and get to it.
346
00:18:46,057 --> 00:18:49,159
I want to introduce
you to some people.
347
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:50,895
This is mrs. Shoe.
348
00:18:53,732 --> 00:18:55,933
My daughter,
kelly shoe.
349
00:18:59,270 --> 00:19:01,238
My son,
bud shoe.
350
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:07,277
And buck,
the shoe dog.
351
00:19:13,852 --> 00:19:15,352
We're starving.
352
00:19:15,353 --> 00:19:16,554
Could you
please call?
353
00:19:16,555 --> 00:19:17,821
You don't have
to talk to me.
354
00:19:17,822 --> 00:19:18,822
Just hang up.
355
00:19:18,823 --> 00:19:20,424
It's charity,
for god's sake.
356
00:19:20,425 --> 00:19:24,929
Kids, you don't even need
your parents' permission.
357
00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:35,739
It'll-it'll just be
our little secret.
358
00:19:35,740 --> 00:19:38,341
Man's voice:
Time's up, bundy.
359
00:19:38,342 --> 00:19:40,110
Uh, please call,
please call. Let's rap.
360
00:19:40,111 --> 00:19:41,511
Uh, you want
somebody dead?
361
00:19:41,512 --> 00:19:42,580
I'll kill them.
362
00:19:42,581 --> 00:19:43,814
Please call.
363
00:19:43,815 --> 00:19:44,882
That number
again is--
364
00:19:44,883 --> 00:19:47,084
This is what you did
with my $50,000?
365
00:19:47,085 --> 00:19:49,553
Another satisfied customer.
You can be too.
366
00:19:49,554 --> 00:19:50,955
Aah! Please call me.
367
00:19:57,595 --> 00:19:58,929
Hey, peg,
368
00:19:58,930 --> 00:20:01,832
I thought you
were going to meet us
369
00:20:01,833 --> 00:20:03,300
Down at the courthouse.
370
00:20:03,301 --> 00:20:04,668
Oh,
371
00:20:04,669 --> 00:20:06,970
Was that today?
372
00:20:06,971 --> 00:20:07,971
Uh...
373
00:20:07,972 --> 00:20:11,041
Oh, there it is.
374
00:20:11,042 --> 00:20:12,542
Right there
in black and white:
375
00:20:12,543 --> 00:20:14,645
"al's sentencing."
376
00:20:16,714 --> 00:20:20,017
Well, I'll just have
to make the next one.
377
00:20:20,018 --> 00:20:21,585
So, how was it?
378
00:20:21,586 --> 00:20:23,420
Oh,
it was so cool.
379
00:20:23,421 --> 00:20:25,155
The judge
laughed at daddy,
380
00:20:25,156 --> 00:20:27,190
And then he got serious,
so he yelled at him,
381
00:20:27,191 --> 00:20:28,825
And then he laughed
at him again,
382
00:20:28,826 --> 00:20:30,927
And then everybody
started laughing at daddy.
383
00:20:30,928 --> 00:20:31,996
It was so funny.
384
00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:34,298
I can't believe
I missed it.
385
00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:35,865
Oh, it was great.
386
00:20:35,866 --> 00:20:37,434
The trial had
everything.
387
00:20:37,435 --> 00:20:38,968
Crying--that
was mr. Rhoades.
388
00:20:38,969 --> 00:20:40,804
He lost his job,
you know.
389
00:20:40,805 --> 00:20:43,273
And then,
390
00:20:43,274 --> 00:20:45,075
There was an honest
to goodness fit.
391
00:20:45,076 --> 00:20:46,476
That was
mrs. Rhoades.
392
00:20:46,477 --> 00:20:50,114
She got demoted
to drive-up window teller.
393
00:20:50,115 --> 00:20:53,316
And then daddy and the judge
and a whole bunch of lawyers
394
00:20:53,317 --> 00:20:54,417
Went into this chamber.
395
00:20:54,418 --> 00:20:56,787
Bring it home,
daddy.
396
00:20:56,788 --> 00:20:58,455
Well, after the lawyers
got done going,
397
00:20:58,456 --> 00:21:00,156
"hey, did you check out
the blond bimbo
398
00:21:00,157 --> 00:21:02,893
In the red mini?"
399
00:21:02,894 --> 00:21:04,995
That was me.
400
00:21:06,030 --> 00:21:07,631
Anyhow,
401
00:21:07,632 --> 00:21:09,166
Then we finally
got down to business.
402
00:21:09,167 --> 00:21:10,800
I begged
for the death penalty,
403
00:21:10,801 --> 00:21:13,970
But they insisted
that I learn a lesson.
404
00:21:13,971 --> 00:21:16,373
So to pay back
the $100,000 I owe,
405
00:21:16,374 --> 00:21:18,042
The banks agreed
to extend my mortgage
406
00:21:18,043 --> 00:21:19,576
For a couple
of years.
407
00:21:19,577 --> 00:21:20,610
How many?
408
00:21:20,611 --> 00:21:22,179
Oh, a hundred.
409
00:21:23,181 --> 00:21:25,916
So by the year
2157,
410
00:21:25,917 --> 00:21:27,551
We'll have
the second one paid-off.
411
00:21:27,552 --> 00:21:30,020
Then I can retire.
412
00:21:31,990 --> 00:21:33,389
No, no, no,
dad.
413
00:21:33,390 --> 00:21:35,893
Then you start paying off
your parking tickets.
414
00:21:35,894 --> 00:21:39,996
Hey, how the hell did they
find out about that anyway?
415
00:21:39,997 --> 00:21:43,500
Gee, it must have
been that darn steve.
416
00:21:43,501 --> 00:21:46,603
Aw, but come on.
Buck up, honey.
417
00:21:46,604 --> 00:21:48,205
Don't worry.
418
00:21:48,206 --> 00:21:50,741
I'll always be
your mrs. Shoe.
419
00:21:50,742 --> 00:21:53,477
And we'll always be
your little shoes.
420
00:21:53,478 --> 00:21:55,245
Shoe betcha!
421
00:21:56,614 --> 00:22:00,183
So you haven't lost
any more respect for me?
422
00:22:00,184 --> 00:22:02,286
Oh, now, that
would be impossible,
423
00:22:02,287 --> 00:22:03,554
Wouldn't it, kids?
424
00:22:03,555 --> 00:22:06,490
I mean, honey,
you lost $100,000.
425
00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:09,460
How many men who earn
less than a fry cook
426
00:22:09,461 --> 00:22:13,330
Can say they lost
$100,000?
427
00:22:13,965 --> 00:22:15,833
Fry cook?
428
00:22:15,834 --> 00:22:19,269
Dad makes less than
the newspaper boy.
429
00:22:19,270 --> 00:22:21,905
A street mime.
430
00:22:21,906 --> 00:22:24,607
The guy who scrapes
dead animals off the highway.
431
00:22:26,144 --> 00:22:28,245
A lab
animal.
432
00:22:28,246 --> 00:22:30,080
A circus geek.
433
00:22:30,081 --> 00:22:33,550
A barnacle
scraper.
434
00:22:33,551 --> 00:22:35,252
A professional
miniature golfer.
435
00:22:35,253 --> 00:22:37,120
A qualified
teacher.
436
00:22:40,090 --> 00:22:42,092
[♪]
29441
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof