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1
00:00:02,701 --> 00:00:05,804
[♪]
2
00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:22,580
Ah, home sweet hell.
3
00:01:30,422 --> 00:01:32,691
Man:
Hey, bundy!
Home for supper?
4
00:01:32,692 --> 00:01:34,325
Never say die, huh?
5
00:01:34,326 --> 00:01:35,760
[laughs]
6
00:01:35,761 --> 00:01:39,363
Man 2:
Hey, bundy!
I had steak tonight.
7
00:01:39,364 --> 00:01:41,299
What are you havin'?
8
00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:45,369
If I was the mailman,
I'd be having your wife.
9
00:01:48,708 --> 00:01:50,441
Don't worry
about me, donnelly.
10
00:01:50,442 --> 00:01:51,542
I'll have supper.
11
00:01:52,377 --> 00:01:54,913
I better have supper.
12
00:01:54,914 --> 00:01:57,048
Peg,
where's my supper?
13
00:01:58,951 --> 00:02:00,318
[ringing]
14
00:02:00,319 --> 00:02:02,153
Oh!
15
00:02:02,154 --> 00:02:06,791
Oh, god.
The idiot'll be home soon.
16
00:02:08,027 --> 00:02:10,728
Oh. Ha-ha-ha.
17
00:02:10,729 --> 00:02:13,098
Hi, idiot.
18
00:02:13,099 --> 00:02:15,166
Peg, in the privacy
of our own home,
19
00:02:15,167 --> 00:02:17,235
Could you call me
mr. Idiot?
20
00:02:17,236 --> 00:02:19,070
Peg, you're not gonna
bother me tonight,
21
00:02:19,071 --> 00:02:20,238
Because you know why?
22
00:02:20,239 --> 00:02:22,941
I know you cooked me supper,
didn't ya?
23
00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:27,345
Dessert?
24
00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:32,584
Oh, honey, what
do you want from me?
25
00:02:32,585 --> 00:02:34,586
You're at work
10 hours a day.
26
00:02:34,587 --> 00:02:37,755
Can't you find something
to eat in all that time?
27
00:02:37,756 --> 00:02:41,660
God! This is a home,
not a restaurant.
28
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:43,128
I know, peg.
29
00:02:43,129 --> 00:02:46,998
If it was a restaurant,
we'd have a clean bathroom.
30
00:02:46,999 --> 00:02:48,833
Can't you be
like other husbands?
31
00:02:48,834 --> 00:02:50,901
Just come home,
go upstairs
32
00:02:50,902 --> 00:02:54,672
And sit there
quietly till morning.
33
00:02:54,673 --> 00:02:55,707
Excuse me a second, peg.
34
00:03:02,180 --> 00:03:06,283
What's this? Beef stew?
Made from scratch?
35
00:03:09,021 --> 00:03:12,356
Whoa ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.
What a wife!
36
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,794
Peg, I'm starving to death.
37
00:03:16,795 --> 00:03:18,530
I can't live like this.
38
00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:19,797
Now, I'm telling you,
peg,
39
00:03:19,798 --> 00:03:21,566
I want you to put
something in that oven,
40
00:03:21,567 --> 00:03:24,068
Either food or my head.
41
00:03:24,069 --> 00:03:26,504
Either way, the neighbors'll
smell something cookin'.
42
00:03:26,505 --> 00:03:28,740
Now, peg, I'm making
a stand here. I'm not kidding.
43
00:03:28,741 --> 00:03:30,442
I want a meal.
I want it now. Get it?
44
00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:32,577
Huh?
45
00:03:32,578 --> 00:03:35,046
What'd you say, al?
I'm sorry. I wasn't listening.
46
00:03:35,047 --> 00:03:37,449
Jeez, I don't know.
Just something
about me being a man.
47
00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:39,117
It wasn't important.
48
00:03:41,386 --> 00:03:43,254
Hi, mom.
Hi, dad.
49
00:03:43,255 --> 00:03:45,523
Kids, I'm glad you're home
because I'm taking a poll.
50
00:03:45,524 --> 00:03:47,725
Where are we
gonna put a pole?
51
00:03:49,728 --> 00:03:51,295
Well, we can, uh,
put it in your head
52
00:03:51,296 --> 00:03:55,299
So we have a place to hang
the sign that says "duh."
53
00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:58,769
Oh, thanks.
54
00:03:58,770 --> 00:04:00,505
You wouldn't let me
get a nose earring,
55
00:04:00,506 --> 00:04:02,574
But you're gonna put
a pole in my head?
56
00:04:06,478 --> 00:04:08,746
Peg, are you sure
you didn't have
a one-night stand
57
00:04:08,747 --> 00:04:10,648
With abbott and costello?
58
00:04:13,986 --> 00:04:17,889
No. I'm a one-stooge
woman, honey.
59
00:04:17,890 --> 00:04:19,957
All right, we're
going to have a vote.
60
00:04:19,958 --> 00:04:21,459
I thought we were
gonna have a po--
61
00:04:21,460 --> 00:04:25,062
All in favor of having
your mother cook...
62
00:04:25,864 --> 00:04:26,998
Three. Opposed?
63
00:04:27,733 --> 00:04:29,867
None.
64
00:04:29,868 --> 00:04:31,703
Well, that's it, peg.
You're cookin'.
65
00:04:31,704 --> 00:04:33,704
I don't care if it's
breakfast, lunch or dinner,
66
00:04:33,705 --> 00:04:35,973
But I want it hot.
And I'll tell
you something else.
67
00:04:35,974 --> 00:04:37,275
I want it on a plate.
68
00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:42,914
Boy. If I'd known
it was gonna be like this...
69
00:04:42,915 --> 00:04:45,383
Well, peg, the neighbors
are laughing at me.
70
00:04:45,384 --> 00:04:48,853
And everyone at school,
too, dad.
71
00:04:48,854 --> 00:04:49,888
Well, that's it.
72
00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:51,422
From now on,
this family is gonna be
73
00:04:51,423 --> 00:04:53,091
Like every other family
in america.
74
00:04:53,092 --> 00:04:54,793
Sometime this month
we're gonna eat!
75
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:57,128
Yes, food!
All right!
76
00:04:57,129 --> 00:04:59,530
Okay, I'll make
one meal.
77
00:04:59,531 --> 00:05:01,732
But it's not
gonna be good.
78
00:05:01,733 --> 00:05:04,202
That's all we ask.
79
00:05:04,203 --> 00:05:05,336
Oh, mom,
one more thing.
80
00:05:05,337 --> 00:05:06,404
Oh.
81
00:05:06,405 --> 00:05:10,508
You're spinning me
right into pms.
82
00:05:10,509 --> 00:05:11,910
It's the school nurse,
mom.
83
00:05:11,911 --> 00:05:14,412
She said it's time to get
our annual dental checkups.
84
00:05:14,413 --> 00:05:15,380
Oh.
85
00:05:15,381 --> 00:05:18,115
Okay. We'll make
an appointment.
86
00:05:20,686 --> 00:05:21,919
[doorbell rings]
87
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:23,254
Come in!
88
00:05:28,494 --> 00:05:29,761
What are you doing?
89
00:05:29,762 --> 00:05:32,496
Ah, giving the kids
their dental checkups.
90
00:05:32,497 --> 00:05:35,533
Excellent, bud,
as usual.
91
00:05:35,534 --> 00:05:37,769
Beautiful, kelly.
Good girl.
92
00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:39,303
Okay, kids,
go on upstairs
93
00:05:39,304 --> 00:05:42,540
And we'll forge
your dental forms
in the morning.
94
00:05:43,776 --> 00:05:45,343
Ah. Well,
that wasn't so bad.
95
00:05:45,344 --> 00:05:47,478
Yeah. Thank god we didn't
need tetanus shots.
96
00:05:47,479 --> 00:05:48,913
Oh. I hate
that little pin.
97
00:05:48,914 --> 00:05:50,048
Ugh! Ugh!
98
00:05:51,717 --> 00:05:54,486
Uh, excuse me,
but doesn't anybody know
99
00:05:54,487 --> 00:05:56,020
This is against
the law?
100
00:05:56,021 --> 00:05:59,356
So is dressing up a chicken
and calling it your wife.
101
00:06:06,598 --> 00:06:09,167
I am not a chicken.
102
00:06:09,168 --> 00:06:12,136
Why does he keep
calling me a chicken?
103
00:06:17,276 --> 00:06:18,843
Now, marcie.
104
00:06:18,844 --> 00:06:20,544
Don't get
your feathers ruffled.
105
00:06:23,349 --> 00:06:25,116
Look, guys,
I don't mean to be rude,
106
00:06:25,117 --> 00:06:27,551
But we've got some
x-rays to sketch.
107
00:06:27,552 --> 00:06:29,820
This is a disgrace.
108
00:06:29,821 --> 00:06:32,156
Don't you understand?
You are robbing your children
109
00:06:32,157 --> 00:06:34,758
Of one of life's
great experiences.
110
00:06:34,759 --> 00:06:36,794
I love to go
to the dentist.
111
00:06:36,795 --> 00:06:39,797
A man in white
hovering over me
112
00:06:39,798 --> 00:06:43,601
While I'm trapped
helpless in a chair.
113
00:06:43,602 --> 00:06:45,103
He cleans me.
114
00:06:45,104 --> 00:06:46,270
He flosses me.
115
00:06:46,271 --> 00:06:49,540
His instrument's
alive in my mouth.
116
00:06:52,344 --> 00:06:54,879
And just when I think
I can't take anymore,
117
00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:57,048
He says,
"good girl, marcie.
118
00:06:57,049 --> 00:06:59,350
You can spit now."
119
00:07:04,189 --> 00:07:07,291
Al, I wanna go
to the dentist.
120
00:07:09,862 --> 00:07:10,728
Well, you should.
121
00:07:10,729 --> 00:07:12,263
Everyone should
see their dentist
122
00:07:12,264 --> 00:07:13,698
At least twice a month.
123
00:07:13,699 --> 00:07:15,767
I mean, year.
124
00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:17,101
And you know what?
125
00:07:17,102 --> 00:07:20,004
I haven't had a cavity
since I was 10 years old.
126
00:07:20,005 --> 00:07:22,340
So, what? I haven't had
a cavity my whole life.
127
00:07:22,341 --> 00:07:24,843
And I've never been
to the dentist.
128
00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:29,180
And still you have
that delightful breath.
129
00:07:29,181 --> 00:07:31,182
How do you know
you've never had a cavity?
130
00:07:31,183 --> 00:07:32,249
History.
131
00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:34,184
Tradition, my boy.
132
00:07:34,185 --> 00:07:36,854
Bundy men were always
known for one thing.
133
00:07:36,855 --> 00:07:38,222
Hairy knuckles?
134
00:07:39,425 --> 00:07:41,726
The sex drive
of a carbuncle?
135
00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:47,232
Well, actually, we were known
for two things.
136
00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:51,669
One: Always having
the knack of finding
just the right woman...
137
00:07:54,106 --> 00:07:56,641
And teeth.
Big strong choppers.
138
00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,476
Marcie, have a look in here.
Go ahead.
139
00:08:01,079 --> 00:08:02,613
Uh-huh.
140
00:08:02,614 --> 00:08:05,817
Oh, my god.
It smells like a hamper.
141
00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:08,152
Go on. Just check
the teeth, will ya?
142
00:08:09,187 --> 00:08:12,991
Well, the green one
looks pretty good.
143
00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:15,493
And some might be bothered
by that black one.
144
00:08:15,494 --> 00:08:17,361
But the one that's
actually bleeding
145
00:08:17,362 --> 00:08:19,530
Could be a problem
starting.
146
00:08:19,531 --> 00:08:21,031
Al, you should go
to the dentist.
147
00:08:21,032 --> 00:08:22,233
No dentist.
148
00:08:22,234 --> 00:08:23,668
If my teeth don't hurt,
149
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:27,005
Nothing's wrong with them.
And my teeth don't hurt.
150
00:08:27,906 --> 00:08:29,741
Al:
Now my teeth hurt!
151
00:08:29,742 --> 00:08:33,111
[al screaming]
152
00:08:38,383 --> 00:08:42,419
[groaning]
153
00:08:49,795 --> 00:08:51,161
Ahem.
154
00:08:53,999 --> 00:08:55,432
Mr. Bundy.
155
00:08:55,433 --> 00:08:57,768
Uh-- uh...
156
00:08:57,769 --> 00:08:58,769
Uh, I'm bill.
157
00:08:58,770 --> 00:09:00,404
Hello, bill.
I'm al bundy,
158
00:09:00,405 --> 00:09:01,905
I'm kelly's father.
159
00:09:01,906 --> 00:09:04,775
This is some weather we're
having here, isn't it, bill?
160
00:09:04,776 --> 00:09:07,345
You know, it's funny,
but it's almost
1:00 in the morning,
161
00:09:07,346 --> 00:09:08,846
And you were
kissing my daughter.
162
00:09:18,223 --> 00:09:19,523
Oh, darn, bill.
163
00:09:19,524 --> 00:09:21,292
It's so late,
I thought that'd be open.
164
00:09:21,293 --> 00:09:22,694
There you go.
165
00:09:32,371 --> 00:09:34,372
We've got a real problem
here, kelly.
166
00:09:34,373 --> 00:09:36,607
I know, daddy.
We were just doing our homework.
167
00:09:36,608 --> 00:09:37,842
I'm a good girl.
168
00:09:37,843 --> 00:09:38,843
Who cares?
169
00:09:40,012 --> 00:09:41,946
It's just that
my teeth are killing me.
170
00:09:41,947 --> 00:09:44,949
They felt fine until
that darn marcie voodooed me.
171
00:09:44,950 --> 00:09:47,018
Now I'm in so much pain,
I can't even sleep.
172
00:09:47,019 --> 00:09:50,121
Honey, would you look in there
and see if my teeth are okay?
173
00:09:50,822 --> 00:09:52,323
Oh, well...
Wait a minute.
174
00:09:52,324 --> 00:09:53,858
Let me move
this one aside.
175
00:09:53,859 --> 00:09:56,361
[groans]
176
00:09:56,362 --> 00:09:58,696
Well, they all
look okay to me...
177
00:09:58,697 --> 00:10:00,931
Except for that one
that's fizzing.
178
00:10:00,932 --> 00:10:02,934
Daddy, why don't you just
go to the dentist?
179
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:03,901
No dentist.
180
00:10:03,902 --> 00:10:06,303
What I need
is an ice-cold beer.
181
00:10:12,477 --> 00:10:13,477
That's cold.
182
00:10:23,588 --> 00:10:25,222
Mm-hm.
183
00:10:25,223 --> 00:10:29,460
Nothing like a cold beer
on a hot night.
184
00:10:29,461 --> 00:10:30,628
That's good.
185
00:10:30,629 --> 00:10:33,764
Are you afraid
of the dentist, daddy?
186
00:10:33,765 --> 00:10:35,833
Kelly, I'm
a grown man.
187
00:10:35,834 --> 00:10:39,537
So, yes, of course,
I'm deathly afraid
of the dentist.
188
00:10:39,538 --> 00:10:42,840
Fear is nothing
to be ashamed of, daddy.
189
00:10:42,841 --> 00:10:44,742
Let me tell you
a little story.
190
00:10:44,743 --> 00:10:46,610
I was afraid once.
191
00:10:46,611 --> 00:10:50,347
It was two years ago,
so I was, um...8.
192
00:10:52,684 --> 00:10:55,953
Anyway, I missed the bus
back from school,
193
00:10:55,954 --> 00:10:57,387
So I had to walk home.
194
00:10:57,388 --> 00:10:59,523
It was getting
pretty dark.
195
00:11:03,695 --> 00:11:04,762
Oops.
196
00:11:04,763 --> 00:11:07,364
I almost drank beer!
197
00:11:11,669 --> 00:11:13,704
Anyway, I cut
through this alley.
198
00:11:13,705 --> 00:11:15,773
And I heard this noise.
199
00:11:15,774 --> 00:11:18,242
I turned,
and there they were.
200
00:11:18,243 --> 00:11:19,643
Who?
201
00:11:19,644 --> 00:11:21,111
All my friends
from school.
202
00:11:21,112 --> 00:11:23,881
So we all went to janie's house
and had this dance party.
203
00:11:23,882 --> 00:11:24,982
Oh, god, it was great.
204
00:11:24,983 --> 00:11:27,518
Janie's mom got this broom,
and we limboed.
205
00:11:27,519 --> 00:11:29,820
Then we had cake.
And we painted
each other's toenails.
206
00:11:29,821 --> 00:11:31,155
Then we went to sleep--
207
00:11:31,156 --> 00:11:34,391
Honey, daddy doesn't
have long to live.
208
00:11:34,392 --> 00:11:36,828
Get to the part
of the fear.
209
00:11:36,829 --> 00:11:37,895
Well, let's see.
210
00:11:37,896 --> 00:11:39,831
Was I afraid
of my dress?
211
00:11:39,832 --> 00:11:41,966
What the heck
was I wearing?
212
00:11:42,568 --> 00:11:44,434
Honey, that's all right.
213
00:11:45,336 --> 00:11:47,572
Sweetheart,
it was a great story.
214
00:11:47,573 --> 00:11:48,772
[chuckles]
215
00:11:48,773 --> 00:11:51,242
Now, daddy's just dizzy enough
to go to sleep now, honey.
216
00:11:51,243 --> 00:11:52,843
Have a great night,
sweetheart.
217
00:11:52,844 --> 00:11:54,444
You, too, daddy.
218
00:11:54,445 --> 00:11:57,181
Oh, daddy,
I just remembered.
What?
219
00:11:57,182 --> 00:11:59,917
I was wearing my pink dress
with the little sparkles
on the collar,
220
00:11:59,918 --> 00:12:03,220
And I was afraid it would
clash with the toenails
I just painted.
221
00:12:03,221 --> 00:12:04,989
But it didn't.
222
00:12:07,325 --> 00:12:08,859
Thanks again,
sweetheart.
223
00:12:08,860 --> 00:12:10,094
What are daughters for?
224
00:12:10,095 --> 00:12:11,596
I don't know.
225
00:12:16,534 --> 00:12:20,437
[groaning]
226
00:12:21,706 --> 00:12:23,241
I'm going to sleep.
227
00:12:24,442 --> 00:12:26,244
Is dad gone yet?
228
00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:27,611
Yep.
Great.
229
00:12:27,612 --> 00:12:29,180
Then we'll see you
in the morning.
230
00:12:32,351 --> 00:12:33,584
Ohhh.
231
00:12:33,585 --> 00:12:36,387
Curse your father
for making me feed him.
232
00:12:38,290 --> 00:12:39,790
This is so confusing.
233
00:12:39,791 --> 00:12:42,560
I mean, what do men eat?
234
00:12:43,195 --> 00:12:45,729
Well, going by bud,
insects.
235
00:12:47,799 --> 00:12:50,968
Mom, kelly had a boy
here last night.
236
00:12:50,969 --> 00:12:53,237
Oh, yeah? Well,
bud had a girl here last night.
237
00:12:53,238 --> 00:12:56,641
Yeah, like I'm
gonna believe that.
238
00:13:00,578 --> 00:13:03,648
Don't tell stories,
kelly.
239
00:13:05,416 --> 00:13:07,584
Hey, wait a minute.
I could've had a girl here.
240
00:13:07,585 --> 00:13:10,054
Sure you could,
honey.
241
00:13:11,890 --> 00:13:13,824
So, how are daddy's
teeth this morning?
242
00:13:13,825 --> 00:13:14,858
Oh, I don't know.
243
00:13:14,859 --> 00:13:16,760
He was up screaming
all night.
244
00:13:16,761 --> 00:13:18,829
Finally, I put a pillow
over his face
245
00:13:18,830 --> 00:13:20,764
So I could get some rest.
246
00:13:20,765 --> 00:13:22,900
Gee, he's really gotta go
to the dentist.
247
00:13:22,901 --> 00:13:25,269
Ah, what a day.
248
00:13:25,270 --> 00:13:26,837
Smell that
morning air.
249
00:13:26,838 --> 00:13:27,838
[inhales]
250
00:13:30,275 --> 00:13:32,910
Al, will you please
go to the dentist?
251
00:13:32,911 --> 00:13:33,744
Don't have to now, peg.
252
00:13:33,745 --> 00:13:35,179
A miracle happened
last night.
253
00:13:35,180 --> 00:13:37,982
I went to bed. Woke up today.
I feel fine.
254
00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:38,749
Oh, yeah?
255
00:13:38,750 --> 00:13:41,118
Eat this ice.
Oh, no, peg.
256
00:13:41,119 --> 00:13:42,253
Put it in a bag.
257
00:13:42,254 --> 00:13:43,787
I'll eat it
on the way to work.
258
00:13:43,788 --> 00:13:45,556
Eat it now, al.
259
00:13:45,557 --> 00:13:47,258
All righty.
260
00:14:06,111 --> 00:14:08,345
[al screaming]
261
00:14:08,346 --> 00:14:09,346
My teeth!
262
00:14:09,347 --> 00:14:11,348
Oh, god,
take my life!
263
00:14:11,349 --> 00:14:12,349
The pain!
264
00:14:12,350 --> 00:14:15,418
I can't stand
the pain!
265
00:14:19,124 --> 00:14:22,260
See, there's no problem.
266
00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:26,597
Al, you have a 2:30 appointment
with marcie's dentist.
267
00:14:26,598 --> 00:14:27,965
Now, here's the address.
268
00:14:27,966 --> 00:14:30,268
And in case you need
a loved one to pick you up,
269
00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:33,170
Here's a bus schedule.
270
00:14:34,406 --> 00:14:36,039
Dr. Plierson.
271
00:14:38,543 --> 00:14:42,113
What I need
is a dr. Kill-a-wife.
272
00:14:42,114 --> 00:14:43,013
Dad.
273
00:14:43,014 --> 00:14:45,850
Dad, I had a girl here
last night.
274
00:14:45,851 --> 00:14:49,052
Bud, I got no time
for your jokes now.
My teeth are killin' me.
275
00:14:57,395 --> 00:15:00,398
You're next,
mr. Bundy.
276
00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:01,899
Al:
I'm a little nervous.
277
00:15:03,502 --> 00:15:04,502
It's okay.
278
00:15:06,971 --> 00:15:08,305
Come on.
279
00:15:08,306 --> 00:15:10,274
Just sit
right down.
280
00:15:15,179 --> 00:15:16,747
Can I have
the ducky now?
281
00:15:16,748 --> 00:15:19,417
There's a little boy
out there who really needs it.
282
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:21,084
Tough.
283
00:15:23,221 --> 00:15:24,121
Come on, now.
284
00:15:24,122 --> 00:15:26,456
You've got nothing
to worry about.
285
00:15:26,457 --> 00:15:27,958
You won't feel a thing.
286
00:15:27,959 --> 00:15:29,126
What's this for?
287
00:15:29,127 --> 00:15:31,829
Oh, it's just
to soak up the blood.
288
00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:35,499
Nurse, this dentist--
he's, like,
a real good one, right?
289
00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:37,601
Don't worry,
mr. Bundy.
290
00:15:37,602 --> 00:15:40,003
Doctor's
just wonderful.
291
00:15:40,004 --> 00:15:41,171
Just look at these.
292
00:15:41,172 --> 00:15:42,272
Oh, wow.
293
00:15:43,908 --> 00:15:45,776
Nice...
294
00:15:48,980 --> 00:15:51,749
Nice, white, firm.
Yeah.
295
00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:55,586
Those babies should
last you a lifetime.
296
00:15:55,587 --> 00:15:57,288
I brush them every day.
297
00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:59,690
I would, too,
if they were mine.
298
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:04,127
All right, next.
299
00:16:04,128 --> 00:16:06,430
Ah, the man
with the ducky.
300
00:16:06,431 --> 00:16:07,665
Thank you, nurse.
301
00:16:07,666 --> 00:16:08,833
I'll take it
from here.
302
00:16:10,869 --> 00:16:11,802
[squeals]
303
00:16:13,938 --> 00:16:15,206
[plierson laughs]
304
00:16:15,207 --> 00:16:18,409
Oh. All right.
Come on, bundy.
305
00:16:18,410 --> 00:16:19,943
Let's see
what we got here.
306
00:16:19,944 --> 00:16:20,977
Open up.
307
00:16:20,978 --> 00:16:22,046
No.
308
00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:23,914
Come on, bundy.
I'm a pro.
309
00:16:23,915 --> 00:16:25,482
I've seen it all.
I've done it all.
310
00:16:25,483 --> 00:16:26,683
Come on, open up.
311
00:16:28,553 --> 00:16:29,953
Aah!
312
00:16:29,954 --> 00:16:31,955
Ugh!
313
00:16:31,956 --> 00:16:35,725
Mother of all creatures,
big and small!
314
00:16:35,726 --> 00:16:36,993
Whoa.
315
00:16:36,994 --> 00:16:39,196
Is it bad?
316
00:16:39,197 --> 00:16:41,932
No, no, not really.
317
00:16:41,933 --> 00:16:43,500
T.C.!
318
00:16:43,501 --> 00:16:44,735
Yes?
319
00:16:44,736 --> 00:16:47,738
I want you to bring one
of the big bibs in here.
320
00:16:47,739 --> 00:16:49,406
And, uh, a drop cloth
for the floor.
321
00:16:51,843 --> 00:16:53,644
Hey, doctor,
I was just thinking.
322
00:16:53,645 --> 00:16:56,279
You know, I don't eat,
and I got no reason to smile.
323
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:59,316
Why don't we just let 'em
drop out naturally,
and I'll mail 'em to you.
324
00:16:59,317 --> 00:17:01,451
You drill 'em, fill 'em
and mail 'em back to me.
325
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,854
Now, look. Come on, bundy.
326
00:17:03,855 --> 00:17:07,091
Now, I might be optimistic,
but I just happen to think
327
00:17:07,092 --> 00:17:08,892
We can save
a couple of those babies.
328
00:17:08,893 --> 00:17:10,393
What do you say, huh?
329
00:17:10,394 --> 00:17:13,097
I'll, uh, novocaine you up.
330
00:17:14,532 --> 00:17:16,233
Then I'll have
a couple of drinks,
331
00:17:16,234 --> 00:17:18,702
And neither one of us
will feel a thing, huh?
332
00:17:22,073 --> 00:17:23,140
There we are.
333
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:30,480
All right, now, make sure
you get a shot of the head
334
00:17:30,481 --> 00:17:32,783
So they know
it's a human mouth.
335
00:17:35,287 --> 00:17:36,486
Hey, doctor.
336
00:17:36,487 --> 00:17:38,889
Now, you said this is
gonna be nothin', right?
337
00:17:38,890 --> 00:17:41,491
Look, I've done a thousand
of these things.
338
00:17:41,492 --> 00:17:43,827
Just never
in the same mouth.
339
00:17:43,828 --> 00:17:44,828
Numb yet?
340
00:17:44,829 --> 00:17:45,896
Yeah. You?
341
00:17:45,897 --> 00:17:47,398
Well, close enough.
342
00:17:49,734 --> 00:17:51,502
♪ oh, honey ♪
343
00:17:51,503 --> 00:17:54,472
It's doctor in the office,
sweet cheeks.
344
00:17:54,473 --> 00:17:56,073
I'm sorry.
345
00:17:56,074 --> 00:17:58,075
Anyhow, doctor,
I'm gonna go home
346
00:17:58,076 --> 00:18:00,344
And slip into something
a little more comfortable.
347
00:18:00,345 --> 00:18:01,979
Do you want me
to pick up some videos?
348
00:18:01,980 --> 00:18:04,114
Uh, yeah. Um...
349
00:18:05,350 --> 00:18:06,617
Get, um...
350
00:18:06,618 --> 00:18:08,418
Get something mild.
351
00:18:08,419 --> 00:18:11,254
I'm gonna be up to my elbows
in blood in a minute.
352
00:18:11,255 --> 00:18:12,255
[mouthing]
okay.
353
00:18:13,558 --> 00:18:15,826
I have this feeling
I'm forgetting something.
354
00:18:15,827 --> 00:18:17,961
Did I turn off
the iron?
355
00:18:17,962 --> 00:18:19,230
Did I take my pill?
356
00:18:19,231 --> 00:18:21,298
Woman:
Yow!
357
00:18:21,299 --> 00:18:23,800
Where is that
damn dentist?
358
00:18:23,801 --> 00:18:25,503
That's what I forgot!
359
00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:27,338
Mrs. Higgenbottom
is spitting up teeth
360
00:18:27,339 --> 00:18:28,872
Like a popcorn machine
in there.
361
00:18:30,475 --> 00:18:32,409
Okay, well, give her
a sports illustrated,
362
00:18:32,410 --> 00:18:34,111
And tell her
I'll be right there.
363
00:18:34,112 --> 00:18:35,845
Okay.
364
00:18:35,846 --> 00:18:39,383
Yeah. Sure.
Let her rot.
365
00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:42,552
Women. They're the lowest
forms of life.
366
00:18:42,553 --> 00:18:43,754
You married, bundy?
367
00:18:43,755 --> 00:18:45,722
Look in these eyes.
368
00:18:47,759 --> 00:18:50,026
Me, I'm recently divorced.
369
00:18:50,027 --> 00:18:52,730
She got me for 1.5 mil.
370
00:18:52,731 --> 00:18:54,198
[chuckles]
371
00:18:54,199 --> 00:18:57,167
I'm not bitter, though.
Nope. She deserved it.
372
00:18:57,168 --> 00:19:00,204
She gave up a very
promising career as a waitress
373
00:19:00,205 --> 00:19:05,175
To become my wife
of about six whole months.
374
00:19:05,176 --> 00:19:08,412
That's almost a half
a year, you know.
375
00:19:08,413 --> 00:19:11,115
[sobbing]
1.5 mil.
376
00:19:11,116 --> 00:19:14,118
Take it easy, doc.
Take it easy.
377
00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:16,387
I found out, in life,
you can't live in the past.
378
00:19:16,388 --> 00:19:19,089
Or the present
or the future, but...
379
00:19:19,090 --> 00:19:20,524
You can spend
some quality time
380
00:19:20,525 --> 00:19:23,928
At a newsstand,
reading dirty magazines.
381
00:19:23,929 --> 00:19:29,566
Yeah. They can't take
that copy of hiney
away from you, can they?
382
00:19:29,567 --> 00:19:31,802
Bundy, you're an okay joe.
383
00:19:31,803 --> 00:19:33,002
I tell you what I'm gonna do.
384
00:19:33,003 --> 00:19:34,237
I'm not gonna dig too deep.
385
00:19:34,238 --> 00:19:35,806
I'll do what I can.
386
00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:37,174
You won't
feel a thing.
387
00:19:37,175 --> 00:19:39,410
Ah, jeez, thanks, doc.
388
00:19:39,411 --> 00:19:44,148
Doctor, it's your ex-wife's
attorney on line one.
389
00:19:44,149 --> 00:19:45,449
Great.
390
00:19:45,450 --> 00:19:46,683
By the way,
391
00:19:46,684 --> 00:19:48,986
I bought this with your
credit card, doctor, honey.
392
00:19:48,987 --> 00:19:50,487
Is it okay?
393
00:19:50,488 --> 00:19:55,292
Yes, it's much better than
the one you bought yesterday.
394
00:19:55,293 --> 00:19:57,561
And more expensive.
395
00:19:57,562 --> 00:20:00,563
You gold-diggin', little--
396
00:20:01,765 --> 00:20:02,765
What do you want?
397
00:20:02,766 --> 00:20:04,969
I got a dying man
in the chair!
398
00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:07,204
[mouthing]
399
00:20:07,205 --> 00:20:09,839
No, absolutely not.
400
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:11,074
No.
401
00:20:11,075 --> 00:20:14,044
Oh, she--
she already got it.
402
00:20:14,045 --> 00:20:15,845
Yeah, she's got them too.
403
00:20:17,182 --> 00:20:18,649
My baseball card collection?
404
00:20:18,650 --> 00:20:20,150
Oh, no. No.
No, no, no.
405
00:20:20,151 --> 00:20:23,987
I'll give her
the 150 bucks it's worth.
406
00:20:23,988 --> 00:20:25,756
She wants the cards?
407
00:20:25,757 --> 00:20:27,090
Why?
408
00:20:28,159 --> 00:20:30,894
Because she knows
I like them?
409
00:20:30,895 --> 00:20:31,962
All right.
410
00:20:31,963 --> 00:20:33,329
All right,
I'll tell you what.
411
00:20:33,330 --> 00:20:36,399
You-- you tell her
to take those cards,
412
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:38,101
And I hope
she chokes on 'em!
413
00:20:38,102 --> 00:20:41,171
Ohhh!
I love those cards!
414
00:20:41,172 --> 00:20:43,607
I spent my whole life
collecting those cards.
415
00:20:43,608 --> 00:20:45,342
Hey, doc, I think
the novocaine's
416
00:20:45,343 --> 00:20:46,944
Starting to wear off
a little bit.
417
00:20:46,945 --> 00:20:48,645
Shut up, bundy!
418
00:20:48,646 --> 00:20:50,347
Just shut up!
419
00:20:50,348 --> 00:20:54,685
God, I'm so mad,
I'm shakin'.
420
00:20:54,686 --> 00:20:57,988
Maybe you better wait, then,
until you calm down.
421
00:20:57,989 --> 00:21:00,924
[drill whistling]
aah! Aaah!
422
00:21:10,201 --> 00:21:13,370
Mm-mm! What a memory
this will be.
423
00:21:13,371 --> 00:21:14,772
If bud didn't
still have pimples,
424
00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:17,074
I'd think this was a dream.
425
00:21:17,075 --> 00:21:18,475
Yeah, well,
426
00:21:18,476 --> 00:21:20,944
Just don't bring
your rumbling little stomachs
427
00:21:20,945 --> 00:21:23,580
Around come thanksgiving,
'cause after today,
428
00:21:23,581 --> 00:21:26,250
Mommy has hung up her oven.
429
00:21:26,251 --> 00:21:28,952
Al, here's your
stinkin' meal!
430
00:21:28,953 --> 00:21:30,621
I hope you're happy!
431
00:21:40,197 --> 00:21:41,932
[muffled]
oh, peg.
432
00:21:41,933 --> 00:21:43,199
What'd you cook for?
433
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,201
You know I can't eat.
434
00:21:46,504 --> 00:21:50,908
Oh, "ook at aw the ood."
435
00:21:50,909 --> 00:21:53,176
Stop babbling, al.
436
00:21:53,177 --> 00:21:55,346
I can't understand
a word you say.
437
00:21:55,347 --> 00:21:57,314
Well,
can you understand this?
438
00:21:57,315 --> 00:22:01,318
I want another meal
when I can eat the food.
439
00:22:01,319 --> 00:22:02,820
Pass the mashed potatoes.
440
00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:04,154
Give me corn.
441
00:22:04,155 --> 00:22:05,489
This is unacceptable.
442
00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:08,392
I'm the man
of the house.
443
00:22:08,393 --> 00:22:10,493
Wait a minute, kids.
444
00:22:10,494 --> 00:22:11,527
Your daddy's right.
445
00:22:11,528 --> 00:22:13,663
This is very unfair
to your father.
446
00:22:13,664 --> 00:22:17,100
And we cannot enjoy my meal
with him like this.
447
00:22:39,857 --> 00:22:42,158
[♪]
30635
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