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1
00:00:02,801 --> 00:00:05,470
[♪]
2
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Female newscaster:
Yes, connie, I'm coming to youfrom fort lauderdale,
3
00:01:18,944 --> 00:01:21,513
And we're rockin' to celebratesummer's last hurrah,
4
00:01:21,514 --> 00:01:23,415
Labor day weekend.
5
00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:24,816
I don't even knowwhy we're on,
6
00:01:24,817 --> 00:01:27,952
Because you'd have to bea real no-life
7
00:01:27,953 --> 00:01:30,988
To be home on apicture-perfect day like this.
8
00:01:34,193 --> 00:01:35,660
Mom, please.
9
00:01:35,661 --> 00:01:37,995
Is this how I'm gonna spend
my labor day weekend?
10
00:01:37,996 --> 00:01:39,931
Sitting between
my mother
11
00:01:39,932 --> 00:01:41,566
And a pizza
with everything?
12
00:01:44,570 --> 00:01:46,404
The holiday
got you down, kel?
13
00:01:46,405 --> 00:01:48,005
Let's just pretend
it's a normal day.
14
00:01:48,006 --> 00:01:49,708
Get up on the table,
dance around,
15
00:01:49,709 --> 00:01:51,042
And me and mom
will put dollars
16
00:01:51,043 --> 00:01:52,844
Down your blouse.
17
00:01:54,113 --> 00:01:55,213
Now, bud,
18
00:01:55,214 --> 00:01:56,881
Not everything
reverend felcher says
19
00:01:56,882 --> 00:01:58,516
From the pulpit
is true.
20
00:01:58,517 --> 00:02:00,051
Ha, ha, ha.
21
00:02:02,955 --> 00:02:05,756
Greeting, vultures.
22
00:02:05,757 --> 00:02:07,758
You meal ticket's here.
23
00:02:10,663 --> 00:02:11,996
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
24
00:02:14,766 --> 00:02:17,268
Guess where
I have been.
25
00:02:25,677 --> 00:02:27,378
Locked in the trunk
of your car
26
00:02:27,379 --> 00:02:29,547
With a dead cat?
27
00:02:29,548 --> 00:02:30,548
And no one understands
28
00:02:30,549 --> 00:02:32,717
Why I scream
on the way home.
29
00:02:32,718 --> 00:02:34,119
Anyhow,
I was thinking,
30
00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:36,554
How could we have
a perfect labor day?
31
00:02:36,555 --> 00:02:37,589
And then it hit me.
32
00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:39,391
While all those
families of morons
33
00:02:39,392 --> 00:02:41,759
Are wasting their time
going to the beach,
34
00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:44,028
Guess where we're gonna be.
35
00:02:44,029 --> 00:02:45,663
No, not another
family barbecue.
36
00:02:45,664 --> 00:02:47,999
Yes, a family
barbecue!
37
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,403
Who's going to give it
a "whoa, bundy," here?
38
00:02:51,404 --> 00:02:53,838
Huh?
39
00:02:53,839 --> 00:02:55,773
No one? Fine.
40
00:02:55,774 --> 00:02:58,476
Oh, al. Honey,
don't get us wrong.
41
00:02:58,477 --> 00:02:59,777
It's not that
we don't enjoy
42
00:02:59,778 --> 00:03:01,779
Sweltering
in the back yard,
43
00:03:01,780 --> 00:03:03,581
Being bitten
by horseflies
44
00:03:03,582 --> 00:03:05,649
And watching you scratch
your sweaty back
45
00:03:05,650 --> 00:03:07,318
With our salad forks.
46
00:03:07,319 --> 00:03:10,621
But, honey,
just once
47
00:03:10,622 --> 00:03:12,824
We would like to do
something we want.
48
00:03:12,825 --> 00:03:14,859
We can't do something
that you want,
49
00:03:14,860 --> 00:03:16,527
And I'll tell you why.
50
00:03:16,528 --> 00:03:19,730
Because it's labor day,
not leech day.
51
00:03:19,731 --> 00:03:22,233
That's christmas.
52
00:03:22,234 --> 00:03:23,668
It's not parasite day.
53
00:03:23,669 --> 00:03:25,503
That's mother's day.
54
00:03:25,504 --> 00:03:28,539
See, this is a holiday
for the working guy.
55
00:03:28,540 --> 00:03:30,374
It celebrates
all the people who work,
56
00:03:30,375 --> 00:03:33,311
So that all the people
who don't
57
00:03:33,312 --> 00:03:36,248
Can live longer and
have more than he does.
58
00:03:36,249 --> 00:03:37,481
So tomorrow...
59
00:03:37,482 --> 00:03:40,718
Unless, god willing,
I die in my sleep...
60
00:03:40,719 --> 00:03:44,455
I get up for me
and celebrate for me.
61
00:03:44,456 --> 00:03:50,061
Tomorrow is al bun-day.
62
00:03:50,062 --> 00:03:53,197
Gee, I thought
that was al-oween.
63
00:03:54,967 --> 00:03:56,767
I don't want to sit
around the house
64
00:03:56,768 --> 00:03:58,336
All day and sleep.
65
00:03:58,337 --> 00:04:01,739
It's like being
at school.
66
00:04:01,740 --> 00:04:03,608
No, the difference between
here and school
67
00:04:03,609 --> 00:04:05,943
Is you'll be out of here
when you're 18.
68
00:04:13,919 --> 00:04:17,355
Now, tomorrow your job
is to go shopping.
69
00:04:17,356 --> 00:04:20,492
Why can't we shop today?
Traffic too light?
70
00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:21,926
Because, if you were
paying attention
71
00:04:21,927 --> 00:04:23,194
All these years,
72
00:04:23,195 --> 00:04:24,996
You'd know that
al bundy doesn't barbecue
73
00:04:24,997 --> 00:04:26,297
With day-old fixin's.
74
00:04:26,298 --> 00:04:28,266
Now, it's your job tomorrow
75
00:04:28,267 --> 00:04:29,768
To get me fresh meat,
fresh cheese,
76
00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:31,136
And fresh charcoal.
77
00:04:31,137 --> 00:04:32,003
And watch those chips.
78
00:04:32,004 --> 00:04:33,471
I don't want you
getting anything
79
00:04:33,472 --> 00:04:35,907
That says
"natural ingredients."
80
00:04:35,908 --> 00:04:37,308
Now, kids,
81
00:04:37,309 --> 00:04:39,910
Since we're all gonna spend
the whole day together tomorrow,
82
00:04:39,911 --> 00:04:41,178
Today, get out.
83
00:04:42,114 --> 00:04:43,982
Oh, and don't forget.
84
00:04:43,983 --> 00:04:47,151
I don't want my ketchup
in those plastic squeeze things.
85
00:04:47,152 --> 00:04:49,620
I want bottles,
just like the pilgrims had.
86
00:04:49,621 --> 00:04:52,724
I wish you could
have seen your father
87
00:04:52,725 --> 00:04:54,392
When he was
in high school,
88
00:04:54,393 --> 00:04:55,693
Before all this happened.
89
00:04:55,694 --> 00:04:58,028
As I recall,
they almost did.
90
00:05:02,801 --> 00:05:04,235
I can't wait
to have kids
91
00:05:04,236 --> 00:05:06,036
So I can
make them suffer.
92
00:05:06,037 --> 00:05:07,505
And when they ask
who their dad is,
93
00:05:07,506 --> 00:05:08,939
You can play
"wheel of father."
94
00:05:14,045 --> 00:05:15,412
Now, peg,
95
00:05:15,413 --> 00:05:16,413
I don't want you to think
96
00:05:16,414 --> 00:05:18,015
That I forgot you
in all this.
97
00:05:18,016 --> 00:05:19,951
Your job
is very important too.
98
00:05:19,952 --> 00:05:22,052
You get to bring the benches
from the basement
99
00:05:22,053 --> 00:05:24,722
And scrape off
the bird doody.
100
00:05:24,723 --> 00:05:27,926
Traditionally,
the job of the queen.
101
00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:29,927
That, and killing
and eating her mate.
102
00:05:29,928 --> 00:05:31,295
Heh, heh, heh.
103
00:05:31,296 --> 00:05:32,697
Oh, what a day
this is gonna be!
104
00:05:32,698 --> 00:05:34,799
Can you feel
the excitement, peg?
105
00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:37,501
Oh, al, I've given up
on excitement.
106
00:05:37,502 --> 00:05:39,771
I'm going for relief.
107
00:05:39,772 --> 00:05:41,806
Which brings us
to a little promise
108
00:05:41,807 --> 00:05:45,076
You made
just last spring.
109
00:05:45,077 --> 00:05:48,846
Sex again.
110
00:05:48,847 --> 00:05:50,681
Peg, we've been married
for 17 years now.
111
00:05:50,682 --> 00:05:53,818
Can't we
just be friends?
112
00:05:53,819 --> 00:05:57,021
No.
I don't like you,
113
00:05:57,022 --> 00:05:59,323
I just want
to have sex with you.
114
00:05:59,324 --> 00:06:01,559
[doorbell rings]
115
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,428
Oh, come on, honey.
116
00:06:03,429 --> 00:06:05,563
You promised me that when
you were rested,
117
00:06:05,564 --> 00:06:06,864
We could do it.
118
00:06:06,865 --> 00:06:08,733
And besides,
the way you do it,
119
00:06:08,734 --> 00:06:11,302
It's just like
resting anyway.
120
00:06:12,437 --> 00:06:14,906
Oh, peggy, I don't
know what to do.
121
00:06:14,907 --> 00:06:17,708
Steve is
an unfeeling cur.
122
00:06:17,709 --> 00:06:18,776
As you know,
123
00:06:18,777 --> 00:06:20,744
My sainted aunt tuney
passed away.
124
00:06:20,745 --> 00:06:23,948
Sainted, my foot.
She used to pay for sailors.
125
00:06:25,417 --> 00:06:29,788
She was 67, and they
wouldn't come for free.
126
00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:31,589
Anyw--
127
00:06:31,590 --> 00:06:34,092
Anyway, I was
her favorite,
128
00:06:34,093 --> 00:06:36,327
And the honor of caring
for her sainted ashes
129
00:06:36,328 --> 00:06:37,629
Fell to me.
130
00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:38,763
And the horrible
cross to bear
131
00:06:38,764 --> 00:06:40,598
Of caring
for her $100,000
132
00:06:40,599 --> 00:06:41,933
Fell to her cats.
133
00:06:41,934 --> 00:06:45,403
Oh, aunt tuney,
no one understands but me.
134
00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:48,873
Oh, we understand.
You're insane.
135
00:06:48,874 --> 00:06:51,242
Must you carry that urn
wherever you go?
136
00:06:51,243 --> 00:06:53,344
She sleeps with it,
you know.
137
00:06:53,345 --> 00:06:55,346
I can't throw stones.
138
00:07:00,052 --> 00:07:03,354
Look, marcy,
all I am saying
139
00:07:03,355 --> 00:07:04,989
Is that
it is unhealthy
140
00:07:04,990 --> 00:07:07,024
For you to walk around
with a load of ashes,
141
00:07:07,025 --> 00:07:08,192
While five moth-eaten cats
142
00:07:08,193 --> 00:07:10,628
Have a bigger mercedes
than I do.
143
00:07:10,629 --> 00:07:13,230
Damn nouveau cats.
144
00:07:13,231 --> 00:07:14,932
Guys, guys, guys.
145
00:07:14,933 --> 00:07:16,600
This should be
a happy day,
146
00:07:16,601 --> 00:07:18,969
Not fighting,
and arguing, and...
147
00:07:18,970 --> 00:07:22,573
Having sex
with our spouses.
148
00:07:22,574 --> 00:07:23,841
So I'm going
to do something
149
00:07:23,842 --> 00:07:25,643
That I wouldn't
normally do.
150
00:07:25,644 --> 00:07:28,513
Use a q-tip?
151
00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:31,916
Oh, want
some lovin', babe?
152
00:07:31,917 --> 00:07:35,185
Anyhow, us bundys are having
a barbecue tomorrow,
153
00:07:35,186 --> 00:07:36,654
And I'm inviting you two
154
00:07:36,655 --> 00:07:39,257
To share some of our
famous bundyburgers.
155
00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:41,626
Well, I suppose aunt tuney
would like a day
156
00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:44,228
Out in
the fresh air.
157
00:07:44,229 --> 00:07:45,930
She got enough
when we rowed her
158
00:07:45,931 --> 00:07:48,032
Around the lake
yesterday.
159
00:07:48,033 --> 00:07:50,367
Thank you, al.
We'll be glad to come.
160
00:07:50,368 --> 00:07:51,535
What can we bring?
161
00:07:51,536 --> 00:07:54,038
Just the plates,
and some food, and some beers,
162
00:07:54,039 --> 00:07:55,039
And leave the rest to us.
163
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,107
Heh, heh, heh.
164
00:07:56,108 --> 00:07:57,508
Ah, this is gonna be
just great.
165
00:07:57,509 --> 00:07:59,677
You know, there's nothing
like spending labor day
166
00:07:59,678 --> 00:08:01,779
With the family,
and good food
167
00:08:01,780 --> 00:08:03,948
And good friends.
168
00:08:03,949 --> 00:08:05,783
Oh, god.
What a charade!
169
00:08:05,784 --> 00:08:10,854
[sobs]
170
00:08:10,855 --> 00:08:12,423
Oh, god!
171
00:08:14,326 --> 00:08:18,329
[robert jason's "who'll stop
the rain" playing on stereo]
172
00:08:21,533 --> 00:08:25,470
♪ still the rain
kept fallin' ♪
173
00:08:25,471 --> 00:08:29,340
♪ while it pounds
my ears ♪
174
00:08:29,341 --> 00:08:31,476
♪ and I wonder ♪
175
00:08:31,477 --> 00:08:33,311
♪ ooh, I wonder ♪
176
00:08:33,312 --> 00:08:36,747
♪ who'll stop the rain ♪
177
00:08:36,748 --> 00:08:39,550
[instrumental break]
178
00:08:39,551 --> 00:08:41,452
[bang]
179
00:08:41,453 --> 00:08:43,121
Peg:
Ow!
180
00:08:43,122 --> 00:08:44,655
This is heavy.
181
00:08:44,656 --> 00:08:46,357
Can you
give me a hand?
182
00:08:55,601 --> 00:08:57,902
Thanks, al.
I can take it from here.
183
00:08:57,903 --> 00:09:00,238
Peg, I told ya,
I've got to conserve my energy
184
00:09:00,239 --> 00:09:02,607
If you expect sex tonight.
185
00:09:04,376 --> 00:09:06,143
Sex tonight?
186
00:09:06,144 --> 00:09:08,846
My legs are aching,
my head is killing me,
187
00:09:08,847 --> 00:09:11,181
And I feel queasy.
188
00:09:11,182 --> 00:09:14,619
I feel like I already
had sex with you.
189
00:09:20,526 --> 00:09:22,593
So just forget
about tonight.
190
00:09:22,594 --> 00:09:23,728
When this day is over,
191
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:26,764
I am going upstairs
and sleep for a week.
192
00:09:26,765 --> 00:09:28,866
This is the worst day
of my life.
193
00:09:28,867 --> 00:09:32,403
Lugging and scrubbing.
Pushing and pulling.
194
00:09:32,404 --> 00:09:34,005
Dragging and hauling.
195
00:09:34,006 --> 00:09:35,773
Washing and wiping.
196
00:09:35,774 --> 00:09:38,009
God!
197
00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:39,210
My back aches.
198
00:09:39,211 --> 00:09:41,578
My front aches.
Oh!
199
00:09:41,579 --> 00:09:44,548
You know, I could die
from this.
200
00:09:44,549 --> 00:09:46,650
God, I'm so tired.
201
00:09:48,553 --> 00:09:51,189
All right,
now what little dirty job
202
00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:52,590
Do you have for me?
203
00:09:56,495 --> 00:09:59,597
Oh, no.
204
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,566
Oh...
205
00:10:02,567 --> 00:10:05,003
Peg:
I'm so tired!
206
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,141
I hate you, al.
207
00:10:10,142 --> 00:10:12,476
I really,
really hate you.
208
00:10:12,477 --> 00:10:14,511
You know,
a gentleman would've said,
209
00:10:14,512 --> 00:10:16,814
"thanks for
the good time, babe.
210
00:10:16,815 --> 00:10:20,551
Let me clean that bird doody
while you rest."
211
00:10:20,552 --> 00:10:24,722
But not you.
You are a pig, al.
212
00:10:24,723 --> 00:10:27,257
And my arms
are killing me.
213
00:10:35,701 --> 00:10:38,502
Scrub harder.
214
00:10:38,503 --> 00:10:41,172
Oh, it still
won't come off.
215
00:10:41,173 --> 00:10:44,575
Somebody help me.
216
00:10:44,576 --> 00:10:46,777
Don't just sit there.
Do something.
217
00:10:51,649 --> 00:10:53,017
Oh!
218
00:10:53,751 --> 00:10:54,885
Oh!
219
00:10:54,886 --> 00:10:55,953
No!
220
00:10:55,954 --> 00:10:58,055
God!
221
00:10:58,056 --> 00:11:00,257
I'm so tired!
222
00:11:00,258 --> 00:11:01,258
No!
223
00:11:05,430 --> 00:11:07,932
[gasping]
water.
224
00:11:07,933 --> 00:11:09,199
♪ and I wonder ♪
225
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:10,734
♪ whoa, I wonder ♪
226
00:11:10,735 --> 00:11:12,603
♪ who'll stop the rain ♪
227
00:11:12,604 --> 00:11:13,805
Hey, babe.
228
00:11:13,806 --> 00:11:16,007
[weakly]
water.
229
00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:17,708
No time for that
now, babe.
230
00:11:17,709 --> 00:11:19,176
Got to get ready
for the barbecue.
231
00:11:19,177 --> 00:11:22,012
Oh, listen. Honey,
don't touch my grill.
232
00:11:22,013 --> 00:11:23,815
It's filthy, al.
233
00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:25,249
Don't you want me to
lick it clean
234
00:11:25,250 --> 00:11:28,553
So we can
have sex again?
235
00:11:28,554 --> 00:11:31,856
No. I like it
just the way it is.
236
00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:33,190
Last year's grease
on the grill,
237
00:11:33,191 --> 00:11:34,591
Last year's ashes
on the bottom.
238
00:11:34,592 --> 00:11:36,493
That's what makes
the bundyburger special.
239
00:11:36,494 --> 00:11:37,661
Oh, honey,
240
00:11:37,662 --> 00:11:38,963
Would you
clean up that spot
241
00:11:38,964 --> 00:11:42,332
That your hair made when it
got caught on that nail?
242
00:11:42,333 --> 00:11:43,801
I feel good,
don't you?
243
00:11:43,802 --> 00:11:44,968
Ha, ha, ha!
244
00:11:52,511 --> 00:11:55,146
I hate barbecues.
245
00:11:55,147 --> 00:11:58,215
I hate labor day.
246
00:11:58,216 --> 00:12:00,083
And I hate watching
buzzards circle
247
00:12:00,084 --> 00:12:01,852
While I'm having sex.
248
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:12,296
[gasps]
249
00:12:13,565 --> 00:12:14,631
Oh!
250
00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:18,402
He's gonna kill me.
251
00:12:18,403 --> 00:12:20,570
Where--?
Where am I gonna get ashes?
252
00:12:20,571 --> 00:12:21,972
Uh...
253
00:12:21,973 --> 00:12:22,906
Oh.
254
00:12:24,475 --> 00:12:26,610
[whispers]
okay. Okay, okay.
255
00:12:45,563 --> 00:12:46,764
She's turning
into grandma
256
00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:49,500
Before
our very eyes.
257
00:12:49,501 --> 00:12:51,969
Kids, kids...
258
00:12:51,970 --> 00:12:53,403
Mommy needs
a little help.
259
00:12:53,404 --> 00:12:54,571
You see,
260
00:12:54,572 --> 00:12:56,907
I accidentally knocked
over daddy's barbecue
261
00:12:56,908 --> 00:12:58,242
And lost his ashes.
262
00:12:58,243 --> 00:13:00,845
[both gasp]
263
00:13:00,846 --> 00:13:04,682
Well, I guess you're
out of here, then, huh, mom?
264
00:13:04,683 --> 00:13:07,685
Bud, you're the woman
of the house now.
265
00:13:07,686 --> 00:13:09,920
No, I don't think it's
gonna get to that.
266
00:13:09,921 --> 00:13:11,889
You see,
daddy doesn't know yet.
267
00:13:11,890 --> 00:13:14,392
And we have one thing
going in our favor.
268
00:13:14,393 --> 00:13:16,293
Every other family
on the block
269
00:13:16,294 --> 00:13:18,695
Is having a good time
away from home,
270
00:13:18,696 --> 00:13:20,031
Except us.
271
00:13:20,032 --> 00:13:22,866
That means it's open season
on their houses.
272
00:13:22,867 --> 00:13:25,369
So I want you
to check barbecues,
273
00:13:25,370 --> 00:13:28,172
Fireplaces,
and ovens for ashes.
274
00:13:28,173 --> 00:13:30,374
Oh, whoever goes
to the mcgintys,
275
00:13:30,375 --> 00:13:31,375
Bring me a dr. Pepper.
276
00:13:31,376 --> 00:13:33,310
Ha, ha!
Hurry up!
277
00:13:33,311 --> 00:13:34,578
[under breath]
oh, boy.
278
00:13:34,579 --> 00:13:36,813
God.
279
00:13:36,814 --> 00:13:39,783
I can't stand this
anymore!
280
00:13:39,784 --> 00:13:41,852
Al:
I can.
281
00:13:41,853 --> 00:13:43,720
Come to daddy!
282
00:13:43,721 --> 00:13:45,857
Oh.
283
00:13:50,662 --> 00:13:53,230
[sobs]
284
00:14:02,807 --> 00:14:08,645
I hate labor day so much.
285
00:14:08,646 --> 00:14:10,214
Did you get the ashes?
286
00:14:10,215 --> 00:14:11,749
A piece of cake.
287
00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:13,550
You know, you can
learn a lot about a person
288
00:14:13,551 --> 00:14:14,852
Going through their house.
289
00:14:14,853 --> 00:14:17,421
You know, mr. Collins
who lives down the block?
290
00:14:17,422 --> 00:14:18,789
He must be
a real stud.
291
00:14:18,790 --> 00:14:20,091
I mean, he's a bachelor,
292
00:14:20,092 --> 00:14:21,158
But his whole closet
293
00:14:21,159 --> 00:14:22,726
Is filled
with women's clothing.
294
00:14:27,399 --> 00:14:30,467
Pretty fancy thinking
for a dullard, eh, mom?
295
00:14:33,905 --> 00:14:35,306
Well, we got
the groceries.
296
00:14:35,307 --> 00:14:37,174
Ah.
297
00:14:37,175 --> 00:14:38,475
Thanks so much
for inviting us
298
00:14:38,476 --> 00:14:40,477
And letting us
pay for it.
299
00:14:40,478 --> 00:14:41,679
I have $5.00 left
300
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:43,547
If you need something
to get the fire going.
301
00:14:43,548 --> 00:14:44,915
You know, steve,
before we eat,
302
00:14:44,916 --> 00:14:46,617
I'm just going to check
on aunt tuney.
303
00:14:46,618 --> 00:14:47,784
Marcy...
304
00:14:47,785 --> 00:14:50,054
She's dead.
305
00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:53,257
Gone, fried, dust.
306
00:14:53,258 --> 00:14:56,294
Paying sailors in hell.
307
00:14:58,463 --> 00:15:00,364
You know, aunt tuney
never liked you.
308
00:15:00,365 --> 00:15:01,265
She didn't like anything
309
00:15:01,266 --> 00:15:02,966
That didn't rub its face
back and forth
310
00:15:02,967 --> 00:15:05,035
Across her pot belly.
311
00:15:06,237 --> 00:15:08,038
Then why didn't
she like you?
312
00:15:09,974 --> 00:15:11,708
Mom, we're hungry,
313
00:15:11,709 --> 00:15:14,078
And your underwear's
under the table.
314
00:15:18,517 --> 00:15:19,783
Where's dad?
315
00:15:19,784 --> 00:15:22,352
Uh, he's getting
ready, honey.
316
00:15:22,353 --> 00:15:24,555
And you know
what that means.
317
00:15:24,556 --> 00:15:26,189
[♪]
318
00:15:26,190 --> 00:15:29,226
[george thorogood
and the destroyers'
"bad to the bone" plays]
319
00:15:40,104 --> 00:15:42,673
♪ on the day I was born ♪
320
00:15:42,674 --> 00:15:45,009
♪ the nurses allgathered 'round ♪
321
00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:47,310
♪ they gazed in wide wonder ♪
322
00:15:47,311 --> 00:15:49,880
♪ at the joy they had found ♪
323
00:15:49,881 --> 00:15:52,149
♪ the head nurse spoke up ♪
324
00:15:52,150 --> 00:15:54,585
♪ said "leave this one alone" ♪
325
00:15:54,586 --> 00:15:56,854
♪ she could tell right away ♪
326
00:15:56,855 --> 00:15:59,456
♪ that I was bad to the bone ♪
327
00:15:59,457 --> 00:16:01,959
♪ bad to the bone ♪
328
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,061
♪ bad to the bone ♪
329
00:16:04,062 --> 00:16:06,697
♪ b-b-b-b-bad ♪
330
00:16:06,698 --> 00:16:08,899
♪ b-b-b-b-bad ♪
331
00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:11,068
♪ b-b-b-b-bad ♪
332
00:16:11,069 --> 00:16:13,871
♪ bad to the bone ♪
333
00:16:13,872 --> 00:16:15,739
[music ends abruptly]
334
00:16:16,741 --> 00:16:18,943
Let's cook.
335
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:31,855
Finally,
we can eat.
336
00:16:31,856 --> 00:16:33,124
Not quite yet.
337
00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:34,691
Labor day.
338
00:16:34,692 --> 00:16:37,928
What does it mean
to us?
339
00:16:37,929 --> 00:16:40,731
To answer
that question,
340
00:16:40,732 --> 00:16:43,500
We must hark back
to earlier times.
341
00:16:43,501 --> 00:16:44,601
You see, kids,
342
00:16:44,602 --> 00:16:48,605
While the cavewoman
sat around getting fat,
343
00:16:48,606 --> 00:16:49,840
Smoking cigarettes,
344
00:16:49,841 --> 00:16:52,910
And watching
the phil java man show,
345
00:16:52,911 --> 00:16:57,081
The caveman
braved the elements,
346
00:16:57,082 --> 00:16:59,349
Risking life and limb
347
00:16:59,350 --> 00:17:01,652
And the prehistoric beasts
348
00:17:01,653 --> 00:17:05,255
With only the hair
on his back for protection.
349
00:17:05,256 --> 00:17:09,860
In 1492, columbus brought
labor day to america.
350
00:17:09,861 --> 00:17:12,562
And the women
still did nothing!
351
00:17:14,832 --> 00:17:18,001
And that's what labor day
means to me.
352
00:17:20,572 --> 00:17:23,240
May we eat now?
353
00:17:23,241 --> 00:17:24,908
Not quite yet.
354
00:17:24,909 --> 00:17:27,010
What other torture
355
00:17:27,011 --> 00:17:29,280
Can he possibly
inflict on us?
356
00:17:30,282 --> 00:17:36,520
♪ o'er the land
of the free ♪
357
00:17:36,521 --> 00:17:44,528
♪ and the home
of the brave ♪
358
00:17:52,003 --> 00:17:55,605
And the burgers
take the field.
359
00:17:58,510 --> 00:18:01,512
In exactly 11 minutes
and seven seconds,
360
00:18:01,513 --> 00:18:02,913
You're going
to sink your teeth
361
00:18:02,914 --> 00:18:04,114
In the best burger
362
00:18:04,115 --> 00:18:07,785
They ever yanked
out of a cow.
363
00:18:07,786 --> 00:18:10,521
Ooh, al, you make it
sound so good,
364
00:18:10,522 --> 00:18:13,023
But marcy and I
rarely eat red meat.
365
00:18:13,024 --> 00:18:15,258
So would you mind fixing up
this salmon I brought?
366
00:18:15,259 --> 00:18:17,294
Oh. No problem.
367
00:18:23,001 --> 00:18:26,303
No fish will ever
touch my grill.
368
00:18:30,742 --> 00:18:32,275
Well, we still have
three minutes
369
00:18:32,276 --> 00:18:34,745
Before we have
to turn the burgers.
370
00:18:34,746 --> 00:18:37,647
Come on, peg.
This is your lucky day.
371
00:18:37,648 --> 00:18:39,083
Look! It's open, al.
372
00:18:39,084 --> 00:18:42,452
Really, it's open,
and it wasn't hard at all.
373
00:18:42,453 --> 00:18:44,921
Really.
Oh, no!
374
00:18:47,259 --> 00:18:48,292
[sniffs]
375
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:49,459
Ah!
376
00:18:52,196 --> 00:18:53,296
What happened
to my fish?
377
00:18:53,297 --> 00:18:55,332
Oh. Well, it fell
on the ground. Eat up.
378
00:18:57,535 --> 00:18:58,935
Well?
379
00:18:58,936 --> 00:19:00,637
Mm-mm!
The greatest, dad.
380
00:19:00,638 --> 00:19:01,739
Delicious.
381
00:19:01,740 --> 00:19:02,740
Peg?
382
00:19:06,244 --> 00:19:10,747
[whining,
quietly sobbing]
383
00:19:10,748 --> 00:19:11,748
Oh, not that. No.
384
00:19:11,749 --> 00:19:14,117
I meant,
how's your burger?
385
00:19:14,118 --> 00:19:16,820
I know what you want.
386
00:19:16,821 --> 00:19:19,389
You want me to say
it's tough and chewy
387
00:19:19,390 --> 00:19:22,058
So you can have your way
with me again.
388
00:19:22,059 --> 00:19:23,527
Well, it's not.
389
00:19:23,528 --> 00:19:27,664
It's light and fluffy
and melts in my mouth.
390
00:19:27,665 --> 00:19:29,265
Ha!
391
00:19:33,104 --> 00:19:35,372
Steve,
392
00:19:35,373 --> 00:19:37,574
How's your burger?
393
00:19:37,575 --> 00:19:39,843
You know,
I hate to admit it,
394
00:19:39,844 --> 00:19:41,611
But this is the best burger
I've ever had.
395
00:19:41,612 --> 00:19:42,612
What's your secret?
396
00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:45,182
I sneak over to
the nudie place
397
00:19:45,183 --> 00:19:46,183
A couple of times a month
398
00:19:46,184 --> 00:19:47,584
In order to make it
through life.
399
00:19:56,427 --> 00:19:58,962
No. I meant
about your burgers.
400
00:19:58,963 --> 00:20:01,564
Oh! Oh. The secret's
in the ashes, steve.
401
00:20:01,565 --> 00:20:03,267
See, I never
clean my grill.
402
00:20:03,268 --> 00:20:04,935
Ashes from the past
403
00:20:04,936 --> 00:20:06,804
For burgers
of the future.
404
00:20:06,805 --> 00:20:08,472
Marcy, you're not eating.
405
00:20:08,473 --> 00:20:11,609
How can I eat with you
talking about ashes?
406
00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:14,345
It only makes me think
of my poor aunt tuney
407
00:20:14,346 --> 00:20:16,046
Up on the mantle
over our fireplace
408
00:20:16,047 --> 00:20:17,081
In her little urn.
409
00:20:28,026 --> 00:20:30,927
Um...Excuse me,
but what did you say
410
00:20:30,928 --> 00:20:33,530
Was in the little urn
above your fireplace?
411
00:20:33,531 --> 00:20:35,833
The ashes
of my dead aunt.
412
00:20:41,372 --> 00:20:43,339
Bud, can I talk to you
for a second?
413
00:20:43,340 --> 00:20:45,441
Mm!
414
00:20:45,442 --> 00:20:46,843
[whispers]
415
00:20:46,844 --> 00:20:49,012
[gags]
416
00:20:55,987 --> 00:20:57,453
[whispers]
417
00:20:57,454 --> 00:20:59,522
[gags]
418
00:21:07,532 --> 00:21:09,899
[whispers]
419
00:21:23,214 --> 00:21:25,716
Marcy, come on.
You're not eating any.
420
00:21:25,717 --> 00:21:28,552
Take a bite.
You'll like it.
421
00:21:28,553 --> 00:21:29,586
Uh, marcy--
422
00:21:29,587 --> 00:21:30,754
Shut up, ghoul.
423
00:21:30,755 --> 00:21:32,922
Alrighty.
424
00:21:35,025 --> 00:21:37,093
Mm!
425
00:21:37,094 --> 00:21:38,862
These are quite good.
426
00:21:40,131 --> 00:21:41,498
Mm.
You know, al,
427
00:21:41,499 --> 00:21:44,701
I'm sorry to be
such a party poop.
428
00:21:44,702 --> 00:21:48,438
It's just that
I loved my aunt very much.
429
00:21:48,439 --> 00:21:51,675
Mm!
These are delicious!
430
00:21:51,676 --> 00:21:53,777
But aunt tuney meant
so much to me.
431
00:21:53,778 --> 00:21:55,145
I know she did, marce,
432
00:21:55,146 --> 00:21:57,681
But sometimes we've got to
put the dead behind us.
433
00:21:57,682 --> 00:21:59,383
Mm!
434
00:21:59,384 --> 00:22:01,752
Aunt tuney loved
a good barbecue.
435
00:22:01,753 --> 00:22:05,422
I only wish she could
be with us right now.
436
00:22:05,423 --> 00:22:07,791
If it's any
comfort to you, marce,
437
00:22:07,792 --> 00:22:09,192
I'm sure she's
with us in spirit.
438
00:22:09,193 --> 00:22:10,193
Mm-- mm--
439
00:22:10,194 --> 00:22:11,395
[spits]
440
00:22:11,396 --> 00:22:13,096
Bone. Mm.
441
00:22:16,233 --> 00:22:17,867
But if she was here,
442
00:22:17,868 --> 00:22:19,002
I'm sure she'd be saying
443
00:22:19,003 --> 00:22:20,637
Just what
we're saying now:
444
00:22:20,638 --> 00:22:23,473
These are the best burgers
this side of heaven.
445
00:22:23,474 --> 00:22:25,108
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
446
00:22:39,224 --> 00:22:41,492
[♪]
29947
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