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00:00:03,535 --> 00:00:06,605
[♪]
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Man [on tv]:
...Where glamour meetsdame fortune.
3
00:01:19,178 --> 00:01:20,278
Here we are
4
00:01:20,279 --> 00:01:22,013
At "the luckiest man on earth"party,
5
00:01:22,014 --> 00:01:24,482
And look, isn't thatjoe piscopo at poolside.
6
00:01:29,288 --> 00:01:32,123
Al, have you seen
my ashtray?
7
00:01:32,124 --> 00:01:33,992
Oh, there it is.
8
00:01:38,363 --> 00:01:42,167
Yeah, I thought the beer
tasted like your hamburgers.
9
00:01:42,168 --> 00:01:43,735
It's an old
family recipe.
10
00:01:43,736 --> 00:01:46,104
Of course, mom's
was a little different.
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00:01:46,105 --> 00:01:47,739
She chewed tobacco.
12
00:01:47,740 --> 00:01:48,740
Yeah.
13
00:01:48,741 --> 00:01:50,374
Yeah, I remember
her lemonade.
14
00:01:52,745 --> 00:01:54,913
Mom, dad, I love you.
15
00:01:54,914 --> 00:01:57,148
Ah, jesus.
16
00:01:57,149 --> 00:01:58,516
No. I already took some.
Thanks.
17
00:01:59,819 --> 00:02:01,219
No, I just wanted to remind you
18
00:02:01,220 --> 00:02:02,754
That tomorrow's the big day,
19
00:02:02,755 --> 00:02:04,823
So thanks for letting me
have my pajama party.
20
00:02:04,824 --> 00:02:06,858
Oh, no, you're not having
a pajama party.
21
00:02:06,859 --> 00:02:10,561
I'm still getting flashbacks
from your last one you had.
22
00:02:10,562 --> 00:02:12,197
Daddy, I was 8.
23
00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:15,967
But the judge wanted to try you
as an adult.
24
00:02:17,770 --> 00:02:18,770
Mommy, thanks for letting me
25
00:02:18,771 --> 00:02:20,238
Have my pajama party.
26
00:02:20,239 --> 00:02:21,405
You're welcome.
27
00:02:21,406 --> 00:02:23,007
Oh, no,
I'm not going to sit here
28
00:02:23,008 --> 00:02:25,276
And let you two
make my decisions for me.
29
00:02:25,277 --> 00:02:27,478
That's how we had bud.
30
00:02:30,649 --> 00:02:31,983
Well, dad,
if you remember,
31
00:02:31,984 --> 00:02:34,786
I was first one to say,
"let's throw him back."
32
00:02:34,787 --> 00:02:36,054
Now, you promised
33
00:02:36,055 --> 00:02:37,455
That I could have
another pajama party.
34
00:02:37,456 --> 00:02:38,857
It's right here
in black and white.
35
00:02:38,858 --> 00:02:40,258
You signed it
when I was 8.
36
00:02:40,259 --> 00:02:44,428
"absolutely no parties
involving pajamas, music,
37
00:02:44,429 --> 00:02:47,465
"or shaving daddy's head
while he sleeps,
38
00:02:47,466 --> 00:02:48,933
"until you're 16.
39
00:02:48,934 --> 00:02:51,770
Signed, your father,
god help me, al bundy."
40
00:02:51,771 --> 00:02:58,309
You can't hold me to that.
I thought I'd be dead by now.
41
00:02:58,310 --> 00:03:00,145
Well, the joke's
on you, dad.
42
00:03:00,146 --> 00:03:03,514
No. Actually,
the joke's on me.
43
00:03:03,515 --> 00:03:05,449
But not very often.
44
00:03:10,522 --> 00:03:12,123
Hey, kel.
45
00:03:12,124 --> 00:03:14,592
Word through the peephole
in the girls' shower room
46
00:03:14,593 --> 00:03:16,694
Is that
you're having a pajama party.
47
00:03:16,695 --> 00:03:18,129
Is this true?
48
00:03:18,130 --> 00:03:22,066
Girls, here? In pajamas?
49
00:03:22,067 --> 00:03:23,634
Bud, please,
50
00:03:23,635 --> 00:03:25,503
Your pimple
is squirting me.
51
00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:30,708
Mom, please,
it's girls only.
52
00:03:30,709 --> 00:03:31,709
Can't you
send him somewhere,
53
00:03:31,710 --> 00:03:33,511
Like steve and marcy's,
54
00:03:33,512 --> 00:03:36,414
The zoo, the feed tank
at marineland?
55
00:03:36,415 --> 00:03:38,850
Bud, while kelly's
having her party,
56
00:03:38,851 --> 00:03:40,584
You will stay
in your room,
57
00:03:40,585 --> 00:03:42,987
And you're only allowed out
for dinner,
58
00:03:42,988 --> 00:03:45,190
Which means
you'll be in your room.
59
00:03:45,191 --> 00:03:46,624
[sighs]
60
00:03:46,625 --> 00:03:48,026
Oh, come on, bud.
61
00:03:48,027 --> 00:03:50,929
Just pretend that
it's a normal Saturday night.
62
00:03:50,930 --> 00:03:52,663
Turn the lights down low,
63
00:03:52,664 --> 00:03:54,398
Put on some soft music,
64
00:03:54,399 --> 00:03:56,500
And dial 1-800-no-date.
65
00:03:58,971 --> 00:04:00,138
No, kel.
66
00:04:00,139 --> 00:04:01,639
If it was a normal
Saturday night,
67
00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:02,841
I'd be busy selling
low numbers
68
00:04:02,842 --> 00:04:07,178
To the guys
outside your window.
69
00:04:07,179 --> 00:04:08,646
Eat toe rot.
70
00:04:08,647 --> 00:04:10,315
Lick road kill.
71
00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:12,550
You know, I'm getting hungry.
72
00:04:15,087 --> 00:04:16,287
Thanks, mom.
73
00:04:16,288 --> 00:04:18,923
Oh, by the way, on party night,
74
00:04:18,924 --> 00:04:21,192
I want you two in your room
by 7:00,
75
00:04:21,193 --> 00:04:23,527
And no coming out
during the party.
76
00:04:23,528 --> 00:04:25,463
If my friends knew
what you look like, I'd die.
77
00:04:27,967 --> 00:04:29,367
You know, peg,
this is my house.
78
00:04:29,368 --> 00:04:30,969
I pay for it,
I live in it,
79
00:04:30,970 --> 00:04:32,770
I like to think
I can roam around it
80
00:04:32,771 --> 00:04:35,439
Like any other
desperate caged animal.
81
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:36,640
What am I
supposed to do
82
00:04:36,641 --> 00:04:39,677
Locked in a room
with you all night?
83
00:04:39,678 --> 00:04:42,813
Well, I too
have a promissory note
84
00:04:42,814 --> 00:04:44,849
You signed
when kelly was 8.
85
00:04:44,850 --> 00:04:47,886
It's for sex, al.
86
00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:53,324
Oh, no.
Is it 1989 already?
87
00:04:53,325 --> 00:04:57,628
Yes, and I believe
it's the year of the snake.
88
00:04:57,629 --> 00:04:59,130
[doorbell rings]
89
00:05:00,933 --> 00:05:04,435
Oh, please let this be
a bullet with my name on it.
90
00:05:06,438 --> 00:05:08,172
Never anything I want.
91
00:05:08,173 --> 00:05:09,540
We love you guys.
92
00:05:09,541 --> 00:05:14,545
Yeah, caught between a rock
and a horny place.
93
00:05:14,546 --> 00:05:15,613
What do you want?
94
00:05:15,614 --> 00:05:18,149
We just wanted
to say how we felt.
95
00:05:18,150 --> 00:05:21,219
Oh, and to ask if you would
watch our house for us
96
00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:22,686
While we're in new york.
97
00:05:22,687 --> 00:05:24,789
Peggy, steve's taking me
to the theater,
98
00:05:24,790 --> 00:05:26,991
Then we're going to check
into this little hotel we know.
99
00:05:26,992 --> 00:05:30,361
It's not really little,
it's 200 a night.
100
00:05:30,362 --> 00:05:33,164
How come you never
take me to a hotel, al?
101
00:05:33,165 --> 00:05:37,468
Because you'd just
find your way home.
102
00:05:37,469 --> 00:05:40,671
Look, we stopped the mail,
103
00:05:40,672 --> 00:05:42,073
Canceled the newspaper,
104
00:05:42,074 --> 00:05:44,309
Put all the plants
in the bathtub.
105
00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:45,709
All you have to do
106
00:05:45,710 --> 00:05:47,778
Is let the plumber in
to fix the sink.
107
00:05:47,779 --> 00:05:50,281
Steve,
now that I hear myself say it,
108
00:05:50,282 --> 00:05:52,083
I'm not sure they can do it.
109
00:05:52,084 --> 00:05:56,720
Marcy, it's so easy,
a chimp could do it.
110
00:05:56,721 --> 00:05:58,622
Unfortunately,
we couldn't find a chimp,
111
00:05:58,623 --> 00:06:01,592
So we lower our standards
and go with these two.
112
00:06:01,593 --> 00:06:02,961
Here you go.
113
00:06:02,962 --> 00:06:05,096
Oh, and if a chimp comes by,
114
00:06:05,097 --> 00:06:07,332
Tell him we couldn't wait
any longer.
115
00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:08,366
Al: Have a nice time.
116
00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:10,435
Enjoy the show.
117
00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:13,071
Have a safe trip.
Don't worry about a thing.
118
00:06:13,072 --> 00:06:14,172
They're gone.
119
00:06:14,173 --> 00:06:15,639
I got the key.
Let's loot their house.
120
00:06:24,583 --> 00:06:26,684
You know, peg, you can learn
a lot about people
121
00:06:26,685 --> 00:06:30,054
Going through their safe.
122
00:06:30,055 --> 00:06:31,122
I wonder if steve knows
123
00:06:31,123 --> 00:06:33,358
That the house is only
in marcy's name.
124
00:06:33,359 --> 00:06:35,093
And I wonder
if marcy knows
125
00:06:35,094 --> 00:06:37,095
That steve's mother
is the beneficiary
126
00:06:37,096 --> 00:06:38,929
To his life insurance.
127
00:06:38,930 --> 00:06:40,898
You know, peg,
we may not have much,
128
00:06:40,899 --> 00:06:43,434
But at least we don't
keep secrets from one another.
129
00:06:43,435 --> 00:06:45,470
You said it, al.
130
00:06:49,708 --> 00:06:51,142
Come on, kel.
131
00:06:51,143 --> 00:06:53,577
I cleaned your whole room,
I alphabetized all your albums.
132
00:06:53,578 --> 00:06:55,380
I even put an
"over one million served" sign
133
00:06:55,381 --> 00:06:59,450
On the wall by your bed.
134
00:06:59,451 --> 00:07:01,452
Now can I stay for your party,
please?
135
00:07:01,453 --> 00:07:04,722
No, pus bomb, you can't.
136
00:07:04,723 --> 00:07:07,058
Come on, kel,
I'm not going to touch anything.
137
00:07:07,059 --> 00:07:08,893
I want to, you know,
say hello,
138
00:07:08,894 --> 00:07:10,261
Ask how it's going,
139
00:07:10,262 --> 00:07:12,563
Watch their moist,
nubile young bodies--
140
00:07:12,564 --> 00:07:14,565
Mom, can't the vet
neuter him?
141
00:07:14,566 --> 00:07:17,168
Or put him to sleep,
or something?
142
00:07:17,169 --> 00:07:19,504
Bud, you will
stay in your room.
143
00:07:19,505 --> 00:07:20,538
Ha.
144
00:07:20,539 --> 00:07:21,439
Spell it.
145
00:07:25,310 --> 00:07:28,079
Gee, al, they grow up so fast.
146
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:29,713
Yeah,
kelly's a young woman,
147
00:07:29,714 --> 00:07:32,517
Bud's a peeping tom.
148
00:07:32,518 --> 00:07:34,318
Where does the time go?
149
00:07:34,319 --> 00:07:37,355
Daddy, we don't
have any food.
150
00:07:37,356 --> 00:07:40,458
My underwear has no elastic.
151
00:07:45,230 --> 00:07:47,465
Take it up
with June cleaver here.
152
00:07:49,401 --> 00:07:52,836
So who died and made me mom?
153
00:07:52,837 --> 00:07:55,973
I'm sorry. I'm being selfish,
aren't I, June?
154
00:07:55,974 --> 00:07:57,108
Well, I'm
going shopping,
155
00:07:57,109 --> 00:07:58,909
So if I don't come back
in four days,
156
00:07:58,910 --> 00:08:00,878
Eat without me,
157
00:08:00,879 --> 00:08:02,680
And if I do come back,
call the doctor,
158
00:08:02,681 --> 00:08:05,149
Because obviously,
I don't know who I am.
159
00:08:05,150 --> 00:08:07,918
Oh, could you
pick me up some panty hose?
160
00:08:07,919 --> 00:08:10,121
Nude toes, sheer to the tummy,
161
00:08:10,122 --> 00:08:13,558
And, uh, some tampons?
162
00:08:16,261 --> 00:08:21,165
I'm dead. Why don't I fall down?
163
00:08:21,166 --> 00:08:22,400
If you're a kidnapper,
don't forget
164
00:08:22,401 --> 00:08:25,236
The little
male child upstairs.
165
00:08:25,237 --> 00:08:26,904
Have a nice day.
166
00:08:26,905 --> 00:08:28,439
Excuse me, ma'am,
167
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:30,774
But I'm looking
for a steve's roadhouse.
168
00:08:30,775 --> 00:08:33,043
Ah, it's next door.
169
00:08:33,044 --> 00:08:34,412
Here are the keys.
170
00:08:34,413 --> 00:08:36,214
Oh, and if you get thirsty,
171
00:08:36,215 --> 00:08:37,948
There's some good wine
172
00:08:37,949 --> 00:08:39,850
Under a false tile
in the bathroom.
173
00:08:39,851 --> 00:08:41,452
Oh, like I wouldn't
have found it myself?
174
00:08:41,453 --> 00:08:42,453
[both laugh]
175
00:08:45,157 --> 00:08:46,124
Work, work, work.
176
00:08:47,692 --> 00:08:50,828
You know, mom, the house
is kind of dirty for my party.
177
00:08:50,829 --> 00:08:53,897
Do you think dad
will have time to clean it?
178
00:08:53,898 --> 00:08:56,601
It's daddy's day off.
179
00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:58,503
Of course he will.
180
00:08:58,504 --> 00:09:00,471
[both laugh, sigh]
181
00:09:04,075 --> 00:09:05,676
Man [on tv]:
Coming up on woman world,
182
00:09:05,677 --> 00:09:08,279
Men: Herd 'em up,kill 'em all.
183
00:09:13,552 --> 00:09:14,985
How you doing, peg?
184
00:09:14,986 --> 00:09:17,188
You know, we're gonna have to
get you a little motor
185
00:09:17,189 --> 00:09:18,556
For that couch.
186
00:09:18,557 --> 00:09:19,923
Then you can, you know,
187
00:09:19,924 --> 00:09:22,527
Putter around the living room
during commercials.
188
00:09:22,528 --> 00:09:24,128
You know,
I do plenty around here.
189
00:09:24,129 --> 00:09:25,396
Who do you think
190
00:09:25,397 --> 00:09:28,499
Put that bull's eye
on the toilet for you?
191
00:09:34,072 --> 00:09:36,340
So I let the plumber in
over at steve and marcy's.
192
00:09:36,341 --> 00:09:37,675
Oh, they'll be
so happy.
193
00:09:37,676 --> 00:09:40,878
By the way, did you know
their house is gone?
194
00:09:40,879 --> 00:09:43,381
What do you mean, gone?
195
00:09:43,382 --> 00:09:45,216
Gone.
196
00:09:45,217 --> 00:09:49,019
Like my hopes, my dreams,
my future.
197
00:09:49,020 --> 00:09:52,490
Oh, gone.
198
00:09:52,491 --> 00:09:53,957
It can't be gone.
199
00:09:58,230 --> 00:09:59,730
Al...
200
00:09:59,731 --> 00:10:02,667
Steve and marcy's house is gone.
201
00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:06,270
Nothing gets by you,
does it, peg?
202
00:10:06,271 --> 00:10:07,638
Except a house.
203
00:10:14,846 --> 00:10:17,215
Have a nice party, honey.
204
00:10:17,216 --> 00:10:19,483
We'll be at grandma's
for a week or so.
205
00:10:21,553 --> 00:10:23,588
Oh, when steve and marcy
get back,
206
00:10:23,589 --> 00:10:24,888
They'll probably gonna
want to know
207
00:10:24,889 --> 00:10:27,692
Where their house is,
208
00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:31,696
But if they don't bring it up,
you don't bring it up.
209
00:10:31,697 --> 00:10:32,697
And, remember,
210
00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:34,498
No boys at the party.
211
00:10:36,468 --> 00:10:38,736
God, you make one mistake
when you're 8 years old,
212
00:10:38,737 --> 00:10:42,039
And they never
let you forget it.
213
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:44,174
Peg, I don't want
to go to your mother's.
214
00:10:44,175 --> 00:10:45,576
I see how she looks at me,
215
00:10:45,577 --> 00:10:49,480
Like I was between
two pieces of bread.
216
00:10:49,481 --> 00:10:52,182
We all know
what happened to her dog.
217
00:10:52,183 --> 00:10:55,519
They never proved that.
218
00:10:56,955 --> 00:10:58,188
[car pulls up]
219
00:10:59,924 --> 00:11:02,660
It's steve and marcy.
220
00:11:02,661 --> 00:11:04,895
They're home early.
221
00:11:04,896 --> 00:11:10,167
Oh, I just know they're gonna
be in a foul mood.
222
00:11:10,168 --> 00:11:12,770
I hope they're not gonna
come over here.
223
00:11:12,771 --> 00:11:13,904
Well, what
are they doing?
224
00:11:13,905 --> 00:11:20,110
Well, they're looking
at their hole.
225
00:11:20,111 --> 00:11:22,913
Now they're looking
at our house.
226
00:11:22,914 --> 00:11:24,615
Now their hole.
227
00:11:24,616 --> 00:11:27,217
Now our house.
228
00:11:27,218 --> 00:11:28,852
Yep. I knew it.
229
00:11:28,853 --> 00:11:30,588
Here they come.
230
00:11:30,589 --> 00:11:33,324
I just know
they're going to blame us.
231
00:11:33,325 --> 00:11:35,493
[doorbell rings]
232
00:11:40,699 --> 00:11:45,569
Who is it?
233
00:11:45,570 --> 00:11:47,538
Steve:
Open up in there!
234
00:11:47,539 --> 00:11:49,573
Oh, hey, steve,
235
00:11:49,574 --> 00:11:51,575
I'd love to talk to you,
236
00:11:51,576 --> 00:11:54,512
But I know you're all tired out
from your trip and all,
237
00:11:54,513 --> 00:11:56,347
So why don't you just turn in,
238
00:11:56,348 --> 00:11:57,748
And we'll chat tomorrow?
239
00:11:57,749 --> 00:11:59,517
Nighty-night.
240
00:12:01,586 --> 00:12:03,454
[pounding on door]
241
00:12:06,024 --> 00:12:08,892
Who is it?
242
00:12:08,893 --> 00:12:10,795
[pounding on door]
243
00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:14,231
Hey, steve.
Now, that's rude.
244
00:12:14,232 --> 00:12:18,769
A man's home
is his castle.
245
00:12:18,770 --> 00:12:21,672
Well, mine is a moat, al.
246
00:12:21,673 --> 00:12:23,073
What did you do with our house?
247
00:12:23,074 --> 00:12:25,509
Well, now, relax.
Just relax.
248
00:12:25,510 --> 00:12:29,279
Tell us about
your trip first.
249
00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:30,681
You want to hear about
our trip?
250
00:12:30,682 --> 00:12:33,484
Okay,
I'll tell you about our trip.
251
00:12:36,722 --> 00:12:38,489
First, they lost
our luggage,
252
00:12:38,490 --> 00:12:40,123
Then our
hotel reservations.
253
00:12:40,124 --> 00:12:42,493
The play we wanted to see stunk,
254
00:12:42,494 --> 00:12:44,228
And I didn't get any sleep.
255
00:12:44,229 --> 00:12:47,498
Why? Because all the good
heating grates were taken.
256
00:12:49,167 --> 00:12:50,901
So we came home.
257
00:12:50,902 --> 00:12:52,102
You have anything to tell us?
258
00:12:52,103 --> 00:12:54,638
Well, kelly's having a party,
259
00:12:54,639 --> 00:12:55,906
Bud's doing well in school--
260
00:12:55,907 --> 00:12:57,675
Where's our house, al?
261
00:12:57,676 --> 00:13:02,580
It's a chicken restaurant
in waukegan.
262
00:13:02,581 --> 00:13:05,583
You didn't think I knew,
did you?
263
00:13:05,584 --> 00:13:07,518
See, this is
really so funny.
264
00:13:07,519 --> 00:13:09,353
See, this guy came over,
265
00:13:09,354 --> 00:13:11,154
And asked
for steve's roadhouse.
266
00:13:11,155 --> 00:13:13,056
Well, I thought he said
steve rhoades' house.
267
00:13:13,057 --> 00:13:14,492
And then
one thing led to another,
268
00:13:14,493 --> 00:13:17,060
And your house was gone.
269
00:13:17,061 --> 00:13:22,433
Oh, look.
Marcy's coming to.
270
00:13:22,434 --> 00:13:25,870
Oh, I had this awful dream.
271
00:13:25,871 --> 00:13:28,972
I dreamt I was dorothy
in the wizard of oz.
272
00:13:30,709 --> 00:13:33,176
Peggy, you were the good witch.
273
00:13:33,177 --> 00:13:37,715
Al, you were looking
for a brain.
274
00:13:39,684 --> 00:13:41,485
And, steve,
275
00:13:41,486 --> 00:13:46,056
You were don johnson, naked.
276
00:13:46,057 --> 00:13:49,593
Then a train
went through a tunnel,
277
00:13:49,594 --> 00:13:52,062
And our house was gone.
278
00:13:52,063 --> 00:13:53,063
Oh.
279
00:13:53,064 --> 00:13:55,399
I'm feeling better now.
280
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:56,867
Did you remember
to let the plumber in?
281
00:14:00,505 --> 00:14:04,308
Well, peggy gave me
this tacky peignoir.
282
00:14:04,309 --> 00:14:06,410
Did al give you a t-shirt
to sleep in?
283
00:14:17,656 --> 00:14:19,457
Steve, we're homeless.
284
00:14:20,992 --> 00:14:23,461
Oh, not really, marcy.
285
00:14:23,462 --> 00:14:24,929
We've got our vcr,
286
00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:27,030
Our blankets,
287
00:14:27,031 --> 00:14:28,833
And everything else
they could strap to their backs
288
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:32,235
And haul over here.
289
00:14:32,236 --> 00:14:33,604
So except for our actual house,
290
00:14:33,605 --> 00:14:36,707
We're as close to home
as you can be.
291
00:14:36,708 --> 00:14:39,577
Well, I'm happy
as long as I have you.
292
00:14:42,614 --> 00:14:43,981
Yeah, right.
293
00:14:48,119 --> 00:14:52,222
Good night, honey.
294
00:14:52,223 --> 00:14:53,557
[doorbell rings]
295
00:14:53,558 --> 00:14:54,625
They're here!
296
00:14:54,626 --> 00:14:55,993
They're here!
297
00:14:55,994 --> 00:14:58,562
Who's here, and why?
298
00:14:58,563 --> 00:15:00,498
[loud chattering]
299
00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:01,499
Guess who's pregnant?
300
00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:02,700
Julie, she's
such a slut.
301
00:15:02,701 --> 00:15:04,969
Oh, she's such a jerk!
302
00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:08,005
Can you believe it?
I can't even imagine--
303
00:15:08,006 --> 00:15:11,241
Gee, kel,
who are the old people?
304
00:15:11,242 --> 00:15:14,311
Is this
your mom and dad?
305
00:15:14,312 --> 00:15:16,814
Oh, god, no.
306
00:15:16,815 --> 00:15:18,148
No, these are just
the neighbors.
307
00:15:18,149 --> 00:15:22,486
They live in
the empty lot next door.
308
00:15:22,487 --> 00:15:23,687
They look dirty.
309
00:15:23,688 --> 00:15:26,423
Girls: Ew!
310
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:30,460
[snoring]
311
00:15:33,431 --> 00:15:35,599
Who do you
think you're fooling?
312
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,468
I just saw you
get into bed.
313
00:15:40,939 --> 00:15:44,107
Let's go, al.
314
00:15:44,108 --> 00:15:47,277
Aw, peg, I feel uncomfortable
fooling around
315
00:15:47,278 --> 00:15:49,413
With other people
in the house.
316
00:15:49,414 --> 00:15:53,050
You know, steve and marcy,
the kids, you.
317
00:15:55,353 --> 00:15:59,489
Shut up and pleasure me.
318
00:16:02,794 --> 00:16:03,861
Hey, steve and marcy!
319
00:16:03,862 --> 00:16:06,597
How you doing?
320
00:16:06,598 --> 00:16:09,199
Look, peg.
It's steve and marcy.
321
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:10,935
Don't you guys
have a home?
322
00:16:13,605 --> 00:16:15,238
Hey, what's going on?
323
00:16:15,239 --> 00:16:16,239
Your daughter
324
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:17,641
Threw us out
of the living room.
325
00:16:17,642 --> 00:16:18,842
We needed
a place to sleep,
326
00:16:18,843 --> 00:16:20,343
So we came here.
327
00:16:20,344 --> 00:16:22,780
They couldn't have waited
a minute longer?
328
00:16:22,781 --> 00:16:24,081
It would have been all over
329
00:16:24,082 --> 00:16:25,415
Except promises
330
00:16:25,416 --> 00:16:27,051
Of a better performance
next time.
331
00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:29,587
Don't pay any
attention to her.
332
00:16:29,588 --> 00:16:31,154
I'm glad
you kids are here.
333
00:16:31,155 --> 00:16:34,024
Stay as long
as you want.
334
00:16:34,025 --> 00:16:35,325
Thanks, al.
335
00:16:35,326 --> 00:16:36,426
We're suing you,
you know.
336
00:16:36,427 --> 00:16:38,528
Fine.
337
00:16:38,529 --> 00:16:40,464
Take it all.
I've had too much for too long.
338
00:16:43,034 --> 00:16:44,267
Let's just all go to sleep
339
00:16:44,268 --> 00:16:47,471
So this day of a thousand deaths
can end.
340
00:16:50,709 --> 00:16:54,344
[contented sigh]
[contented sigh]
341
00:16:54,345 --> 00:16:58,448
[music blares]
342
00:16:58,449 --> 00:16:59,583
This is horrible.
343
00:16:59,584 --> 00:17:01,384
I just can't
take it anymore.
344
00:17:01,385 --> 00:17:02,385
Don't worry, marcy.
345
00:17:02,386 --> 00:17:03,587
We'll get our house
back tomorrow.
346
00:17:03,588 --> 00:17:04,588
It's not that.
347
00:17:04,589 --> 00:17:06,456
I smell al's feet.
348
00:17:14,032 --> 00:17:15,699
Can you
believe charlene?
349
00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:16,967
What a loser.
350
00:17:16,968 --> 00:17:18,335
God, I hate her.
351
00:17:18,336 --> 00:17:19,637
She's so phony.
352
00:17:19,638 --> 00:17:22,539
And a boring slob.
353
00:17:22,540 --> 00:17:24,341
She couldn't turn a boy on
with a switch.
354
00:17:24,342 --> 00:17:25,342
I know.
355
00:17:25,343 --> 00:17:27,811
She's so gross.
356
00:17:27,812 --> 00:17:28,979
Oh, hi, charlene.
357
00:17:28,980 --> 00:17:30,447
You look great.
358
00:17:30,448 --> 00:17:31,749
You know, we were just saying
359
00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:34,151
That you must have to
beat the boys off with a stick.
360
00:17:34,152 --> 00:17:36,020
My turn.
361
00:17:40,258 --> 00:17:41,558
God, I hate her.
362
00:17:41,559 --> 00:17:43,593
She is so annoying.
363
00:17:43,594 --> 00:17:44,762
[all talking]
364
00:17:59,310 --> 00:18:02,146
Good evening, ladies.
365
00:18:04,182 --> 00:18:06,784
Just a little reminder.
366
00:18:06,785 --> 00:18:08,652
When you get tired
of the endless drone
367
00:18:08,653 --> 00:18:10,120
Of girlish chatter,
368
00:18:10,121 --> 00:18:12,189
Step up to pleasure.
369
00:18:12,190 --> 00:18:14,424
Step up to "club bud."
370
00:18:19,197 --> 00:18:22,966
Get out of here,
you little she-male.
371
00:18:22,967 --> 00:18:24,467
No, that's okay, let him stay.
372
00:18:24,468 --> 00:18:26,236
I think he's cute.
373
00:18:26,237 --> 00:18:28,438
You and the rest of the world,
babe.
374
00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:32,876
Oh, bud,
you drive me crazy.
375
00:18:32,877 --> 00:18:35,278
Let me give you
something special.
376
00:18:35,279 --> 00:18:37,014
Close your eyes.
377
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:43,453
Pucker up, baby.
378
00:18:48,459 --> 00:18:51,461
Come on, baby.
Give me all you got.
379
00:18:58,603 --> 00:19:01,371
Ha, ha. Very funny.
380
00:19:01,372 --> 00:19:02,639
Very funny.
381
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:07,211
It's another fine example
of bimbo wit.
382
00:19:07,212 --> 00:19:09,379
I'm done. Finished.
I'm going upstairs.
383
00:19:09,380 --> 00:19:10,447
Oh, bud, before you go,
384
00:19:10,448 --> 00:19:13,050
Can you say, "I'm drinking milk,
385
00:19:13,051 --> 00:19:15,652
And one day,
I'm gonna be big and strong"?
386
00:19:18,422 --> 00:19:21,091
Tee-hee, kel.
387
00:19:21,092 --> 00:19:24,094
Oh, by the way, I almost forgot.
388
00:19:24,095 --> 00:19:26,997
There were a few messages
for you.
389
00:19:26,998 --> 00:19:28,265
Let me see.
390
00:19:28,266 --> 00:19:29,967
Oh. Dan peterson called.
391
00:19:29,968 --> 00:19:31,201
He said tomorrow night
392
00:19:31,202 --> 00:19:33,637
Behind the 7-eleven
would be fine.
393
00:19:33,638 --> 00:19:35,839
Uh, bud,
I don't think
394
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:37,340
That anybody
wants to hear this.
395
00:19:37,341 --> 00:19:39,576
Dan peterson.
That's my boyfriend.
396
00:19:39,577 --> 00:19:40,944
Oh, is he?
397
00:19:42,981 --> 00:19:45,649
Gee, kelly thinks he's hers.
398
00:19:45,650 --> 00:19:46,784
Oh, well.
399
00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:47,785
Let's see.
400
00:19:47,786 --> 00:19:50,187
Um, greg barnett called too.
401
00:19:50,188 --> 00:19:51,789
You have a date with him
Tuesday.
402
00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:55,159
Oh, "and wear something tight."
403
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:56,526
Wait a minute.
404
00:19:56,527 --> 00:19:58,328
I'm dating greg.
405
00:19:58,329 --> 00:19:59,663
Uh-oh.
406
00:19:59,664 --> 00:20:00,730
Well.
407
00:20:00,731 --> 00:20:02,365
Let's see.
408
00:20:02,366 --> 00:20:04,201
Whose boyfriend
is bobby brocatto?
409
00:20:04,202 --> 00:20:05,468
Mine.
Mine.
410
00:20:09,207 --> 00:20:11,942
Well. You guys
have a lot to talk about.
411
00:20:11,943 --> 00:20:13,310
Good night.
412
00:20:14,745 --> 00:20:17,380
You're seeing
my greg?
413
00:20:17,381 --> 00:20:18,548
And dan?
414
00:20:18,549 --> 00:20:21,451
Well, I wasn't
going to keep them.
415
00:20:21,452 --> 00:20:22,552
Sow.
416
00:20:22,553 --> 00:20:23,553
Trollop.
417
00:20:23,554 --> 00:20:24,554
Tramp.
418
00:20:24,555 --> 00:20:25,555
Slut.
419
00:20:25,556 --> 00:20:26,423
Bundy.
420
00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:31,628
What do you think
you're doing?
421
00:20:31,629 --> 00:20:34,031
It's your fault!
422
00:20:34,032 --> 00:20:36,900
[all shouting]
423
00:20:43,308 --> 00:20:45,876
Yum, yum, give me some.
424
00:20:55,954 --> 00:21:02,092
How can he get that smell
with only 10 toes?
425
00:21:02,093 --> 00:21:03,593
Go to sleep, marcy.
426
00:21:03,594 --> 00:21:05,229
I can't. I'm too upset.
427
00:21:05,230 --> 00:21:07,998
I miss our little house.
428
00:21:07,999 --> 00:21:09,233
I know,
429
00:21:09,234 --> 00:21:12,069
But we'll get it back,
angel cups.
430
00:21:12,070 --> 00:21:13,270
You haven't called
me angel cups
431
00:21:13,271 --> 00:21:16,806
In a long time,
sugar tush.
432
00:21:19,543 --> 00:21:21,211
Remember what I said
433
00:21:21,212 --> 00:21:24,081
When we didn't think
we could afford a house?
434
00:21:24,082 --> 00:21:26,383
We need no home.
435
00:21:26,384 --> 00:21:28,952
Our love is shelter enough
against any storm.
436
00:21:35,293 --> 00:21:39,029
Man, thy name is steve.
437
00:21:39,030 --> 00:21:40,898
And, love,
thy name is marcy.
438
00:21:43,801 --> 00:21:46,703
The warmth of your arms
is my hearth.
439
00:21:46,704 --> 00:21:50,340
And your strong arms
are my support beams.
440
00:21:50,341 --> 00:21:52,475
And your lips
are my doorways to heaven.
441
00:21:52,476 --> 00:21:55,946
And your blue eyes are
the windows to my world.
442
00:21:55,947 --> 00:21:56,813
And your hair--
443
00:22:04,255 --> 00:22:05,822
Where are
you guys going?
444
00:22:05,823 --> 00:22:09,592
We're going to sleep
in the hole, bud.
445
00:22:09,593 --> 00:22:10,928
Good night, kids.
446
00:22:10,929 --> 00:22:11,929
Oh, kelly.
447
00:22:11,930 --> 00:22:13,863
Huh?
448
00:22:13,864 --> 00:22:15,632
Honey, remember,
no boys.
449
00:22:15,633 --> 00:22:17,500
Okay, mom.
450
00:22:17,501 --> 00:22:18,468
Good girl.
451
00:22:20,305 --> 00:22:22,472
Oh, al, it's raining.
452
00:22:22,473 --> 00:22:24,408
Good. I'll sleep
with my mouth open.
453
00:22:24,409 --> 00:22:26,476
Maybe I'll drown.
454
00:22:44,929 --> 00:22:46,896
[♪]
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