Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,035 --> 00:00:05,269
[♪]
2
00:01:17,543 --> 00:01:19,610
Another great meal, peg.
3
00:01:22,915 --> 00:01:24,683
You know, honey,
you're incredible.
4
00:01:24,684 --> 00:01:26,617
You ignore the children,
you neglect the house,
5
00:01:26,618 --> 00:01:27,886
And still you find time
6
00:01:27,887 --> 00:01:31,856
To let the dinner get cold
before you serve it.
7
00:01:31,857 --> 00:01:33,992
How do you do it?
8
00:01:33,993 --> 00:01:36,795
Well, al, I guess
I care enough about me
9
00:01:36,796 --> 00:01:38,129
Not to care about you.
10
00:01:38,130 --> 00:01:39,397
[laughs]
11
00:01:40,465 --> 00:01:41,733
You know,
it's times like these
12
00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:42,934
I'd like
to take you upstairs
13
00:01:42,935 --> 00:01:44,335
And plug that hole
in the roof.
14
00:01:44,336 --> 00:01:45,970
[both laughing]
15
00:01:49,942 --> 00:01:51,710
Now, listen, peg,
my week off starts tonight,
16
00:01:51,711 --> 00:01:53,712
So if there's any place
you ever wanted to go,
17
00:01:53,713 --> 00:01:56,047
Get the kids, pack up,
and, uh, see you in a week.
18
00:01:57,883 --> 00:01:59,450
Not this year, al.
19
00:01:59,451 --> 00:02:00,752
Every time
I leave you alone,
20
00:02:00,753 --> 00:02:02,921
You just mess
this house up.
21
00:02:04,389 --> 00:02:06,891
This year, you're going
to do all those things
22
00:02:06,892 --> 00:02:09,427
That you promised to do
when you have the time.
23
00:02:09,428 --> 00:02:10,795
Let's see...
24
00:02:10,796 --> 00:02:13,297
"consummate marriage."
25
00:02:13,298 --> 00:02:14,532
[sighs]
26
00:02:14,533 --> 00:02:17,335
Nah, that's more of
a do-it-yourself job.
27
00:02:20,272 --> 00:02:21,439
Here we go.
28
00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:22,774
Here's the stuff
you can do:
29
00:02:22,775 --> 00:02:25,476
"paint the house,
plant the lawn,
30
00:02:25,477 --> 00:02:27,345
"caulk the windows,
31
00:02:27,346 --> 00:02:30,882
"do the laundry...
32
00:02:30,883 --> 00:02:33,051
Fix the toilet,
clean the gutters,"
33
00:02:33,052 --> 00:02:34,552
And if you have time,
34
00:02:34,553 --> 00:02:37,622
"talk to the children."
35
00:02:37,623 --> 00:02:39,023
Both bud and nancy?
36
00:02:39,024 --> 00:02:40,625
It's kelly, al.
37
00:02:40,626 --> 00:02:41,726
Whatever.
38
00:02:41,727 --> 00:02:43,661
Listen, peg,
I don't wanna do anything.
39
00:02:43,662 --> 00:02:45,063
It's my week off.
40
00:02:45,064 --> 00:02:48,032
But, honey, if you don't
do these chores, who will?
41
00:02:48,033 --> 00:02:49,667
How about sid and nancy?
42
00:02:52,138 --> 00:02:53,571
It's bud and kelly.
43
00:02:53,572 --> 00:02:55,273
Yes, them.
44
00:02:55,274 --> 00:02:56,407
[doorbell rings]
45
00:02:56,408 --> 00:02:59,277
Get that, peg?
46
00:02:59,278 --> 00:03:00,444
"answer door."
47
00:03:00,445 --> 00:03:01,913
Ahhh...
48
00:03:01,914 --> 00:03:03,014
Good night, honey.
49
00:03:06,051 --> 00:03:08,219
[doorbell rings]
50
00:03:11,523 --> 00:03:14,392
Ah, steve, gee.
Must be my lucky day.
51
00:03:16,262 --> 00:03:18,429
Why, did they raise
the minimum wage?
52
00:03:18,430 --> 00:03:20,464
[laughs]
53
00:03:22,668 --> 00:03:24,769
Oh, listen, al.
54
00:03:24,770 --> 00:03:26,271
Remember last week,
55
00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:28,807
We were talking about going
fishing on your week off?
56
00:03:28,808 --> 00:03:30,308
Well, I rented us a cabin
57
00:03:30,309 --> 00:03:33,945
On a lake so loaded with fish,
they jump on your hook.
58
00:03:33,946 --> 00:03:36,147
It's just the way
wilderness should be.
59
00:03:36,148 --> 00:03:38,917
There are "no trespassing"
signs everywhere.
60
00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:42,353
There's a 7-eleven
10 minutes away.
61
00:03:42,354 --> 00:03:45,723
What do you think?
What do I think?
62
00:03:45,724 --> 00:03:48,592
[humming "dueling banjos"]
63
00:03:51,163 --> 00:03:53,832
[humming "dueling banjos"]
64
00:03:54,499 --> 00:03:56,467
[humming]
65
00:03:56,468 --> 00:03:57,936
[humming]
66
00:03:57,937 --> 00:03:59,704
[humming together]
67
00:04:02,875 --> 00:04:05,076
Shh! Wake up peg,
68
00:04:05,077 --> 00:04:06,845
If she hears me
having a good time,
69
00:04:06,846 --> 00:04:08,947
She'll want some too.
70
00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:10,548
How long do we have
the cabin for?
71
00:04:10,549 --> 00:04:11,549
Five whole days.
72
00:04:11,550 --> 00:04:14,052
Five days? Oh, man!
73
00:04:14,053 --> 00:04:16,254
Now, listen, al,
this cabin cost me $250.
74
00:04:16,255 --> 00:04:17,555
Hey, don't apologize
to me, steve.
75
00:04:17,556 --> 00:04:20,458
If I'm going for free,
I've no right to complain.
76
00:04:22,394 --> 00:04:23,728
"dear peg...
77
00:04:23,729 --> 00:04:25,163
"by the time you read this,
78
00:04:25,164 --> 00:04:27,698
"there will be nothing
you can do about it.
79
00:04:29,801 --> 00:04:32,803
"I was called away
on an emergency fishing trip.
80
00:04:34,306 --> 00:04:36,707
"I'll be away a week.
81
00:04:36,708 --> 00:04:39,643
"I wouldn't blame you if
you took the kids and left me,
82
00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:44,749
"but if you do,
take the dog too.
83
00:04:46,185 --> 00:04:48,353
"I guess this is goodbye.
84
00:04:48,354 --> 00:04:50,054
Love, al."
85
00:04:53,592 --> 00:04:55,260
"al."
86
00:04:57,629 --> 00:04:58,729
Cock-a-doodle-doo.
87
00:04:58,730 --> 00:05:00,564
Shh!
88
00:05:04,803 --> 00:05:07,105
Hi, steve, marcy.
89
00:05:09,341 --> 00:05:12,143
Steve, aren't you afraid
she'll find out about the trip?
90
00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:15,280
What kind of a guy
do you think I am?
91
00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:17,481
Like I'd really go away
for a week without my wife.
92
00:05:17,482 --> 00:05:18,482
Where's peggy?
93
00:05:18,483 --> 00:05:19,550
Come on, peg!
94
00:05:21,753 --> 00:05:24,188
Time to go!
95
00:05:24,189 --> 00:05:26,791
Peggy: Marcy,
I-is that you?
96
00:05:26,792 --> 00:05:30,528
Yeah! Come on, wake the kids,
we're going fishing!
97
00:05:30,529 --> 00:05:33,631
Shh! Not so loud.
You'll wake up al.
98
00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:40,171
[gasps]
99
00:05:40,172 --> 00:05:42,773
Oh, I love it.
It's so rustic.
100
00:05:42,774 --> 00:05:44,108
[sniffs deeply]
101
00:05:44,109 --> 00:05:46,077
And the air smells great.
102
00:05:46,078 --> 00:05:49,013
Yeah, well,
get it while you can.
103
00:05:49,014 --> 00:05:51,549
Once al settles in,
the shoes come off.
104
00:05:52,918 --> 00:05:53,952
Oh.
105
00:05:53,953 --> 00:05:54,986
[shutter clicks]
106
00:05:54,987 --> 00:05:57,422
[grunting]
107
00:05:57,423 --> 00:06:00,358
Okay, peg,
this hair dryer is yours,
108
00:06:00,359 --> 00:06:02,193
And these cases
of bottled water,
109
00:06:02,194 --> 00:06:03,594
Marcy, are yours...
110
00:06:03,595 --> 00:06:04,728
[thudding]
111
00:06:04,729 --> 00:06:07,098
And I believe
this hernia is mine.
112
00:06:07,099 --> 00:06:09,467
[shutter clicks]
113
00:06:09,468 --> 00:06:11,269
It's a beautiful
cabin, steve.
114
00:06:11,270 --> 00:06:12,803
Great job, mr. Rhoades.
115
00:06:14,739 --> 00:06:17,075
[peggy chuckles]
116
00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:19,810
Isn't he cute?
117
00:06:19,811 --> 00:06:22,880
Even squid
love their young.
118
00:06:26,952 --> 00:06:28,719
What a dump.
119
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,221
[clatter]
120
00:06:30,222 --> 00:06:33,824
Kelly, honey, let me explain
something about fishing rods.
121
00:06:33,825 --> 00:06:35,659
When you throw them down,
you break them.
122
00:06:35,660 --> 00:06:37,028
Then daddy can't fish.
123
00:06:37,029 --> 00:06:38,729
If daddy can't fish,
he's stuck with mommy.
124
00:06:38,730 --> 00:06:42,967
If daddy's stuck with mommy,
nobody leaves here alive.
125
00:06:42,968 --> 00:06:46,837
I didn't ask to come,
and I didn't ask to be born.
126
00:06:50,175 --> 00:06:51,642
Peg?
127
00:06:51,643 --> 00:06:54,812
Well, it's her time
of the month, al.
128
00:06:56,081 --> 00:07:00,818
What the hell did we
bring her for, then?
129
00:07:00,819 --> 00:07:04,255
Squeaked through
another month, eh, kel?
130
00:07:10,396 --> 00:07:11,462
Your mother.
131
00:07:11,463 --> 00:07:12,830
Your father.
132
00:07:12,831 --> 00:07:18,069
Now, kids, let's leave
the insults at home, huh?
133
00:07:18,070 --> 00:07:19,070
Now, look, kelly,
134
00:07:19,071 --> 00:07:20,671
I came up here
for a good time.
135
00:07:20,672 --> 00:07:22,473
Now, I understand why
you have to do this.
136
00:07:22,474 --> 00:07:24,875
I just don't understand
why it has to be now.
137
00:07:24,876 --> 00:07:27,045
Go...Away.
138
00:07:27,046 --> 00:07:29,247
"go away, daddy."
139
00:07:29,248 --> 00:07:31,549
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where's my room?
140
00:07:31,550 --> 00:07:32,917
This is it.
141
00:07:34,686 --> 00:07:36,921
You mean
there's no bedroom?
142
00:07:36,922 --> 00:07:39,257
Of course not. It's a cabin.
143
00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:41,926
It's an outhouse.
144
00:07:41,927 --> 00:07:43,961
Hey, this place
cost me and steve
145
00:07:43,962 --> 00:07:44,995
A small fortune,
146
00:07:44,996 --> 00:07:47,031
And you're gonna like it.
147
00:07:47,032 --> 00:07:51,202
Oh, come on, everybody,
let's have fun.
148
00:07:51,203 --> 00:07:53,371
I know. Let's go shopping.
149
00:07:53,372 --> 00:07:56,407
We passed a nice little
rustic store on the way up here,
150
00:07:56,408 --> 00:07:59,277
Where the men were chopping wood
with their shirts off.
151
00:07:59,278 --> 00:08:00,678
[chuckles]
152
00:08:01,846 --> 00:08:04,115
Well, you know what they say.
153
00:08:04,116 --> 00:08:06,551
You can never
have enough lumber.
154
00:08:07,852 --> 00:08:09,820
I know what we can do.
155
00:08:09,821 --> 00:08:11,989
Let's go on
a nature hunt.
156
00:08:11,990 --> 00:08:13,824
We can collect leaves
and arrowheads
157
00:08:13,825 --> 00:08:15,526
And take pictures
of the wildlife.
158
00:08:15,527 --> 00:08:17,462
Yeah, then we'll
all get naked
159
00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:19,863
And sing
"this land is your land."
160
00:08:22,634 --> 00:08:24,602
I don't know about you,
steve. I'm going fishing.
161
00:08:24,603 --> 00:08:25,669
I'm with you, buddy.
162
00:08:27,005 --> 00:08:28,806
Just us men, eh,
mr. Rhoades?
163
00:08:28,807 --> 00:08:30,308
Yeah, you said it.
164
00:08:30,309 --> 00:08:31,875
[chuckles]
165
00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:35,513
[thud]
166
00:08:42,887 --> 00:08:44,188
Hey, girls!
167
00:08:44,189 --> 00:08:46,724
What do you say to this?
168
00:08:53,798 --> 00:08:55,133
Oh, no.
169
00:08:57,269 --> 00:08:58,469
What is it, al?
170
00:09:02,774 --> 00:09:04,375
Periods, steve.
171
00:09:06,345 --> 00:09:08,779
Three of 'em.
172
00:09:29,234 --> 00:09:30,535
All three at once.
173
00:09:30,536 --> 00:09:33,471
What did they do,
give it to each other?
174
00:09:34,973 --> 00:09:37,408
Actually,
it's an interesting phenomenon
175
00:09:37,409 --> 00:09:38,909
That happens quite often.
176
00:09:38,910 --> 00:09:41,245
I read they did a study
of a girls' college dormitory,
177
00:09:41,246 --> 00:09:44,014
And most of the women wound up
menstruating at the same time.
178
00:09:44,015 --> 00:09:47,117
What should we do now?
179
00:09:47,118 --> 00:09:49,353
Eat!
180
00:09:49,354 --> 00:09:52,756
Hey, peg, you know the deal,
we catch 'em, you clean 'em!
181
00:09:53,892 --> 00:09:55,560
Ahhh...
182
00:09:57,329 --> 00:09:59,363
[chuckling softly]
183
00:10:01,333 --> 00:10:02,266
[smooch]
184
00:10:03,402 --> 00:10:05,069
[chuckles]
185
00:10:10,842 --> 00:10:12,042
It's clean.
186
00:10:12,043 --> 00:10:13,477
[chuckles]
187
00:10:13,478 --> 00:10:16,380
You see why I never
go anywhere with her?
188
00:10:16,381 --> 00:10:17,815
Now, al,
let's not panic.
189
00:10:17,816 --> 00:10:20,551
What women need
at a time like this
190
00:10:20,552 --> 00:10:22,220
Is compassion, love,
and understanding.
191
00:10:25,324 --> 00:10:27,091
Partners through life...
192
00:10:27,092 --> 00:10:29,026
Partners through strife.
193
00:10:32,397 --> 00:10:35,065
Marcy...Let's talk.
194
00:10:36,535 --> 00:10:37,468
Fine.
195
00:10:39,804 --> 00:10:41,539
Let's talk about 14 months ago
196
00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:46,644
When I wanted to see that movie
and you were too tired,
197
00:10:46,645 --> 00:10:48,912
And about the time
you wore that gray sweater.
198
00:10:48,913 --> 00:10:51,582
I hate that sweater.
199
00:10:51,583 --> 00:10:53,817
I hate you, steve.
200
00:10:55,220 --> 00:10:57,655
Everything about you.
201
00:10:57,656 --> 00:10:59,223
Every breath you take,
202
00:10:59,224 --> 00:11:01,792
Every move you make.
203
00:11:02,561 --> 00:11:05,730
You, sir, stink!
204
00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:11,502
[sobbing]
I feel so bloated and so ugly.
205
00:11:11,503 --> 00:11:15,539
See how mean
he is to me, peg?
206
00:11:25,216 --> 00:11:27,818
[squeaking]
well, marcy's okay.
207
00:11:28,620 --> 00:11:29,620
Bud, go over
208
00:11:29,621 --> 00:11:31,155
And say something
nice to your sister.
209
00:11:31,156 --> 00:11:32,556
Dad, I don't even like her.
210
00:11:32,557 --> 00:11:34,592
Who does? Just go.
211
00:11:38,697 --> 00:11:40,164
Hey, kel.
212
00:11:40,165 --> 00:11:43,534
Hm, you're carrying
that extra chin very nicely.
213
00:11:47,071 --> 00:11:49,407
[thwack]
bud: Ooh!
214
00:11:52,678 --> 00:11:54,812
[high-pitched]
you're next, dad.
215
00:11:57,115 --> 00:11:59,483
Not me, son. I did what
custer should have:
216
00:11:59,484 --> 00:12:02,420
Used scouts.
217
00:12:02,421 --> 00:12:04,755
You know why they're doing this
to us, don't you, steve?
218
00:12:04,756 --> 00:12:06,490
It's because we were
gonna have fun.
219
00:12:06,491 --> 00:12:09,493
That's why they invented
this period thing.
220
00:12:09,494 --> 00:12:12,797
Back before men,
women didn't have periods.
221
00:12:12,798 --> 00:12:15,499
Gee, it would have been nice
to live then.
222
00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:17,000
You know who was a good woman?
223
00:12:17,001 --> 00:12:21,238
Veronica. You know,
from archie's comics?
224
00:12:21,239 --> 00:12:24,141
Veronica never had a period.
225
00:12:26,010 --> 00:12:28,212
That's true,
226
00:12:28,213 --> 00:12:30,381
But she still had
an attitude problem.
227
00:12:30,382 --> 00:12:32,783
You're right,
there are no good ones.
228
00:12:32,784 --> 00:12:34,485
It's cold in here!
229
00:12:34,486 --> 00:12:35,786
It's hot in here.
230
00:12:35,787 --> 00:12:38,889
It's hot and cold in here.
231
00:12:38,890 --> 00:12:41,892
We're in some major-league
trouble here, men.
232
00:12:44,195 --> 00:12:47,465
The kid's right, al,
I'm scared.
233
00:12:47,466 --> 00:12:49,132
Be thankful
yours just kills,
234
00:12:49,133 --> 00:12:50,601
It's quick, it's clean.
235
00:12:50,602 --> 00:12:52,302
Mine, like
the black widow,
236
00:12:52,303 --> 00:12:55,239
Wants to mate
before she kills.
237
00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:03,614
I'm a dead man.
238
00:13:07,552 --> 00:13:09,754
Let's go to bed.
Let them suffer.
239
00:13:09,755 --> 00:13:10,755
We'll wake up refreshed,
240
00:13:10,756 --> 00:13:11,756
Go fishing,
241
00:13:11,757 --> 00:13:13,424
Let them
kill each other.
242
00:13:13,425 --> 00:13:14,792
[laughing]
243
00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:31,409
Oh...
244
00:13:31,410 --> 00:13:35,312
God. I feel foul.
245
00:13:35,313 --> 00:13:38,649
Oh, I'm so bloated,
even my teeth are swollen.
246
00:13:38,650 --> 00:13:42,019
If I retain
any more water in my body,
247
00:13:42,020 --> 00:13:45,656
They could build a pier
across my butt.
248
00:13:48,493 --> 00:13:50,461
Oh, I need a back rub.
249
00:13:50,462 --> 00:13:52,229
I need
a foot rub.
250
00:13:52,230 --> 00:13:55,098
I need someone
to yell at.
251
00:13:55,099 --> 00:13:57,167
Where are the men?
252
00:13:57,168 --> 00:13:59,069
I bet they
went fishing.
253
00:13:59,070 --> 00:14:01,439
Isn't that
just like men?
254
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:04,141
When we need them most,
they're never around.
255
00:14:04,142 --> 00:14:05,943
Men are the lowest.
256
00:14:05,944 --> 00:14:09,079
Let's pretend bud's a man
and kill him.
257
00:14:17,756 --> 00:14:20,190
[whispers]
men, we're surrounded.
258
00:14:21,726 --> 00:14:23,594
Men?
259
00:14:27,065 --> 00:14:28,532
Well, what happened?
260
00:14:28,533 --> 00:14:29,733
We were walking
through the woods
261
00:14:29,734 --> 00:14:30,868
Quiet as you please,
262
00:14:30,869 --> 00:14:32,670
When all of a sudden,
the ground started shaking
263
00:14:32,671 --> 00:14:34,404
And something came
crashing through a bush.
264
00:14:34,405 --> 00:14:35,606
I thought it was you, peg,
265
00:14:35,607 --> 00:14:36,740
But it didn't
want my wallet.
266
00:14:40,846 --> 00:14:43,481
It was a bear.
267
00:14:43,482 --> 00:14:46,283
A big one,
with my name on it.
268
00:14:46,985 --> 00:14:48,018
There he is!
269
00:14:48,019 --> 00:14:49,252
That's a moose.
270
00:14:49,253 --> 00:14:52,155
The bear's over there
spraying your tires.
271
00:14:52,156 --> 00:14:53,958
Those are my mercedes!
272
00:14:53,959 --> 00:14:55,292
Stop that!
273
00:14:55,293 --> 00:14:58,696
Bad! Bad bear!
274
00:14:58,697 --> 00:15:00,297
What do they want?
We have no food.
275
00:15:00,298 --> 00:15:01,599
They don't want
us, bud.
276
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:05,035
Let me talk
to your father alone.
277
00:15:05,036 --> 00:15:09,339
See, al, wild animals
can sense when women are, uh...
278
00:15:09,340 --> 00:15:11,441
Killing their husbands?
279
00:15:11,442 --> 00:15:15,513
No, al, when they're...Cycling.
280
00:15:15,514 --> 00:15:18,616
Don't you understand?
They want our women.
281
00:15:19,718 --> 00:15:22,586
Well, then, our women
they shall have.
282
00:15:24,956 --> 00:15:25,990
Oh, peg!
283
00:15:29,828 --> 00:15:32,029
We've gotta get outta here.
284
00:15:32,030 --> 00:15:34,498
We can't get out of here.
We're trapped.
285
00:15:34,499 --> 00:15:36,634
Well, somebody has
to go for help.
286
00:15:36,635 --> 00:15:39,369
Oh, and chocolate.
287
00:15:39,370 --> 00:15:40,604
Gee, I--
288
00:15:40,605 --> 00:15:43,040
I'd love to, honey,
but I can't.
289
00:15:43,041 --> 00:15:47,177
There's a moose
filling my gas tank.
290
00:15:47,178 --> 00:15:49,379
I'd hate to interrupt
him right now.
291
00:15:49,380 --> 00:15:53,050
Look at them.
Our protectors.
292
00:15:53,051 --> 00:15:54,451
The great white hunters.
293
00:15:54,452 --> 00:15:56,587
You know, in the old days,
294
00:15:56,588 --> 00:15:59,222
Those men would have
gone out there, fought the bear,
295
00:15:59,223 --> 00:16:01,926
Come back with supper
and a nice rug.
296
00:16:01,927 --> 00:16:03,928
Now you send them for milk,
297
00:16:03,929 --> 00:16:06,129
They come back
with a leaking carton,
298
00:16:06,130 --> 00:16:09,199
A runny nose and a bad back.
299
00:16:10,234 --> 00:16:11,902
You know, it's amazing.
300
00:16:11,903 --> 00:16:16,440
The one thing they're good for
they're not good at.
301
00:16:16,441 --> 00:16:18,742
I hate the way
they won't ask directions
302
00:16:18,743 --> 00:16:20,678
When they're lost.
303
00:16:20,679 --> 00:16:23,513
And the way they leave
the toilet seat up.
304
00:16:23,514 --> 00:16:28,619
And the way they ask you
to chip in for the motel room.
305
00:16:34,559 --> 00:16:36,794
So I've heard.
306
00:16:39,130 --> 00:16:44,434
Well, the cast of bambi
is out there now.
307
00:16:44,435 --> 00:16:47,037
And in here, we have
some of the seven dwarfs...
308
00:16:48,573 --> 00:16:51,208
Puffy, crabby and horny.
309
00:16:56,748 --> 00:17:00,283
So I'd say it's safe to say
that this day's shot.
310
00:17:00,284 --> 00:17:01,885
What say we all turn in?
311
00:17:01,886 --> 00:17:03,353
[groaning]
312
00:17:03,354 --> 00:17:05,288
Al, it is 7:30
in the morning.
313
00:17:05,289 --> 00:17:06,890
Well, peg,
we're out in the woods now.
314
00:17:06,891 --> 00:17:09,093
You get up early,
you go to bed early. Good night.
315
00:17:09,094 --> 00:17:10,160
Mwah, mwah.
316
00:17:12,731 --> 00:17:15,966
More hot water
for breakfast, anyone?
317
00:17:15,967 --> 00:17:18,002
[groans]
318
00:17:19,104 --> 00:17:20,237
Oh, what's today?
319
00:17:20,238 --> 00:17:21,471
It's Thursday.
320
00:17:21,472 --> 00:17:23,040
Did I miss anything?
321
00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:25,976
Yeah. Wednesday.
322
00:17:25,977 --> 00:17:29,113
Well, I guess
I'll turn in, then.
323
00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:31,181
Daddy, we're starving to death.
324
00:17:31,182 --> 00:17:34,284
And some of us are aging badly.
325
00:17:34,285 --> 00:17:36,553
Zip it, pimple farm.
326
00:17:36,554 --> 00:17:37,621
Daddy, do something.
327
00:17:37,622 --> 00:17:38,789
I'm going to, pumpkin.
328
00:17:38,790 --> 00:17:40,590
I'm gonna take a nap
in a few minutes.
329
00:17:40,591 --> 00:17:44,261
Oh, steve!
How's the car?
330
00:17:44,262 --> 00:17:48,431
Well, I can, uh, still just
about tell it's a mercedes.
331
00:17:48,432 --> 00:17:49,833
Of course,
the tires are flat,
332
00:17:49,834 --> 00:17:52,335
But that's probably because
of the porcupine quills.
333
00:17:52,336 --> 00:17:54,304
And that cougar who went
in through the sunroof
334
00:17:54,305 --> 00:17:55,305
Only looks
like he's driving,
335
00:17:55,306 --> 00:17:58,042
Because I've got the keys.
336
00:17:58,043 --> 00:17:59,810
So I guess
the laugh's on him.
337
00:17:59,811 --> 00:18:01,178
[chuckles]
338
00:18:01,179 --> 00:18:04,247
$30,000...
339
00:18:04,248 --> 00:18:06,016
Al...
340
00:18:06,017 --> 00:18:08,318
You...Are an idiot.
341
00:18:08,319 --> 00:18:09,653
I was home,
342
00:18:09,654 --> 00:18:12,355
I was comfortable,
I was safe.
343
00:18:12,356 --> 00:18:17,695
I truly,
truly hate you.
344
00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:20,330
Come on, honey, let's do it.
345
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,101
Let's go into the bathroom.
346
00:18:24,102 --> 00:18:26,804
Come on. No one has to know...
347
00:18:26,805 --> 00:18:28,638
Not even you.
348
00:18:31,042 --> 00:18:33,210
Steve, give me the keys
to your car.
349
00:18:33,211 --> 00:18:34,945
I'm gonna go for help.
350
00:18:34,946 --> 00:18:37,948
There are animals
all over the car, al.
351
00:18:37,949 --> 00:18:41,585
Maybe I can reason with them.
352
00:18:41,586 --> 00:18:43,587
Now, someone has
to take charge here,
353
00:18:43,588 --> 00:18:44,922
And it's gonna be me.
354
00:18:44,923 --> 00:18:46,023
Now, I need a weapon.
355
00:18:46,024 --> 00:18:47,758
What do we have?
356
00:18:53,131 --> 00:18:54,898
Dad.
357
00:18:54,899 --> 00:18:56,100
Explain to me again
358
00:18:56,101 --> 00:18:59,036
Why you need the suit
of many hooks.
359
00:18:59,037 --> 00:19:02,106
Like the wily porcupine,
360
00:19:02,107 --> 00:19:04,374
I now have my armor of quills.
361
00:19:04,375 --> 00:19:06,777
But unlike the wily porcupine,
362
00:19:06,778 --> 00:19:08,746
Won't the animals stick to you?
363
00:19:08,747 --> 00:19:12,883
That's what the mighty
horns are for, son.
364
00:19:12,884 --> 00:19:14,718
If anything gets close,
365
00:19:14,719 --> 00:19:16,120
I lower my head
366
00:19:16,121 --> 00:19:18,155
And proceed
in an aggressive manner.
367
00:19:18,156 --> 00:19:19,623
That should end it
right there.
368
00:19:19,624 --> 00:19:21,024
And I have
my secret weapon.
369
00:19:21,025 --> 00:19:22,192
If anything goes wrong,
370
00:19:22,193 --> 00:19:24,762
I zap them in the face
with bug spray.
371
00:19:24,763 --> 00:19:30,533
Why not just use
your socks on a stick?
372
00:19:30,534 --> 00:19:32,770
Or would that
be too cruel?
373
00:19:34,806 --> 00:19:37,241
God, you're sexy.
374
00:19:38,576 --> 00:19:40,844
[hisses]
375
00:19:45,683 --> 00:19:47,918
Lock the door
behind me, son.
376
00:19:47,919 --> 00:19:49,352
[door opens]
377
00:19:49,353 --> 00:19:51,688
[wolf howls]
378
00:19:53,024 --> 00:19:55,826
Oh, son, you're the man
of the family now.
379
00:19:55,827 --> 00:19:58,028
If for some reason
I don't come back,
380
00:19:58,029 --> 00:20:00,463
The shoe store opens at 10.
381
00:20:01,299 --> 00:20:02,966
[spray can
hissing]
382
00:20:05,536 --> 00:20:07,871
He'll never make it,
you know.
383
00:20:07,872 --> 00:20:09,907
Well, it won't be
the first time.
384
00:20:16,848 --> 00:20:20,383
Well, he's-- he's made it
through the mosquitoes.
385
00:20:20,384 --> 00:20:22,552
He's hurdling a beaver.
386
00:20:22,553 --> 00:20:24,554
Go, al, go!
387
00:20:24,555 --> 00:20:25,789
Oops.
388
00:20:25,790 --> 00:20:27,590
A wolf.
[snarling]
389
00:20:27,591 --> 00:20:31,061
I can't watch,
I have to clean.
390
00:20:31,062 --> 00:20:33,130
Oh, no, you really
should see this, marce.
391
00:20:33,131 --> 00:20:34,464
[snarls]
392
00:20:34,465 --> 00:20:36,233
The wolf is closing in.
[snarls]
393
00:20:36,234 --> 00:20:38,401
Al ducks behind a tree.
394
00:20:39,637 --> 00:20:43,740
He is now stuck to the tree
by his mighty quills.
395
00:20:43,741 --> 00:20:45,008
Whoa-ho!
396
00:20:45,009 --> 00:20:47,978
Look at him shake!
397
00:20:47,979 --> 00:20:50,547
Oh. He's in trouble.
398
00:20:50,548 --> 00:20:54,284
He is now lowering his head
in an aggressive manner.
399
00:20:54,285 --> 00:20:55,585
[bellowing]
400
00:20:55,586 --> 00:20:57,687
So is the moose.
401
00:20:57,688 --> 00:21:00,123
Oh, no!
402
00:21:00,124 --> 00:21:01,758
A trap door!
403
00:21:01,759 --> 00:21:03,827
Food! I found food!
404
00:21:06,931 --> 00:21:08,498
[al screams]
405
00:21:08,499 --> 00:21:10,133
I'll have
any of that.
406
00:21:10,134 --> 00:21:11,268
Oh, my god,
it's chocolate!
407
00:21:11,269 --> 00:21:12,336
We're saved!
Al: Help me!
408
00:21:12,337 --> 00:21:13,370
Give me some!
409
00:21:13,371 --> 00:21:15,272
No, no!
Al:
Help me! Help!
410
00:21:15,273 --> 00:21:17,474
[others clamoring]
[banging on door]
411
00:21:17,475 --> 00:21:20,143
[clamoring continues]
412
00:21:31,089 --> 00:21:32,622
[growls]
413
00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:42,866
Thanks for inviting us,
steve.
414
00:21:46,637 --> 00:21:50,073
What's next, buddy,
lion-country safari?
415
00:21:50,074 --> 00:21:52,842
About 28 days from now?
416
00:21:55,746 --> 00:21:57,747
I feel
so much better.
417
00:21:57,748 --> 00:21:58,982
Oh, me too.
418
00:21:58,983 --> 00:22:00,150
Guess what, guys.
419
00:22:00,151 --> 00:22:02,752
We saw two wrens
make a nest.
420
00:22:02,753 --> 00:22:06,856
Did you happen to find the rest
of my ear out there too?
421
00:22:06,857 --> 00:22:10,593
You're not gonna bring me down,
mr. Cloudy day.
422
00:22:12,863 --> 00:22:15,899
He is such a big baby
when he gets hurt.
423
00:22:15,900 --> 00:22:17,367
Well, we better
start packing.
424
00:22:17,368 --> 00:22:19,602
You've got to go
to work tomorrow.
425
00:22:19,603 --> 00:22:21,204
Aw.
426
00:22:21,205 --> 00:22:23,440
You know, if he was
gonna be such a grouch,
427
00:22:23,441 --> 00:22:25,342
Why'd he even come?
428
00:22:25,343 --> 00:22:27,411
I don't get it.
429
00:22:27,412 --> 00:22:29,346
I mean, why are they
so miserable?
430
00:22:29,347 --> 00:22:32,182
We're the ones
who have the periods.
431
00:22:45,829 --> 00:22:47,697
[♪]
28950
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof