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1
00:00:03,803 --> 00:00:06,104
[♪]
2
00:01:17,043 --> 00:01:20,211
You know, the boys are
upstairs working so hard,
3
00:01:20,212 --> 00:01:23,114
And this popcorn will make
a nice surprise for them.
4
00:01:23,115 --> 00:01:24,983
It's so easy to make too.
5
00:01:26,318 --> 00:01:30,454
Uh, peggy, you're supposed
to move it around.
6
00:01:30,455 --> 00:01:32,123
Oh...
7
00:01:35,394 --> 00:01:36,761
Well, gee...
8
00:01:36,762 --> 00:01:39,197
Now it's not easy anymore.
9
00:01:39,198 --> 00:01:43,835
Peggy, did you know this says,
"use before may the 11th, 1972"?
10
00:01:45,437 --> 00:01:47,105
Marcy, if you
read it carefully,
11
00:01:47,106 --> 00:01:52,811
It says, "best if used
before may the 11th, 1972."
12
00:01:52,812 --> 00:01:54,846
Boys! Popcorn!
13
00:01:54,847 --> 00:01:56,748
[sighs]
14
00:01:56,749 --> 00:01:58,183
Can you believe it?
15
00:01:58,184 --> 00:02:00,618
This little treasure
was hiding in a box
16
00:02:00,619 --> 00:02:01,853
Up in the attic.
17
00:02:03,189 --> 00:02:06,825
It was a wedding present
from al's parents.
18
00:02:07,659 --> 00:02:09,060
They gave you popcorn?
19
00:02:09,061 --> 00:02:10,294
Yeah.
20
00:02:10,295 --> 00:02:12,230
Popcorn and al.
21
00:02:12,231 --> 00:02:15,433
I made out like a bandit.
22
00:02:15,434 --> 00:02:17,869
Well, steve's parents
gave us china
23
00:02:17,870 --> 00:02:19,003
And written instructions
24
00:02:19,004 --> 00:02:22,774
On how to make melon balls
for their son.
25
00:02:22,775 --> 00:02:25,243
It's the only way
he'll eat melon, you know.
26
00:02:25,244 --> 00:02:27,011
Yeah, men are so fussy.
27
00:02:27,012 --> 00:02:29,280
Do you know that after
we were first married,
28
00:02:29,281 --> 00:02:33,151
Al wouldn't eat
unless his food was warm.
29
00:02:34,486 --> 00:02:36,921
Okay, we've cleaned out
your garage,
30
00:02:36,922 --> 00:02:38,289
Your back yard,
and your attic,
31
00:02:38,290 --> 00:02:39,657
So tomorrow
you're gonna help me
32
00:02:39,658 --> 00:02:41,359
Clean out my garage,
right, al?
33
00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:43,294
One...Second.
34
00:02:43,295 --> 00:02:44,562
[grunts]
35
00:02:45,264 --> 00:02:47,265
No.
36
00:02:47,266 --> 00:02:49,400
Now, al, I hope that attic
is nice and clean
37
00:02:49,401 --> 00:02:51,136
For when mother
comes to stay.
38
00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:52,837
Oh, yeah,
the straw's been laid down.
39
00:02:52,838 --> 00:02:55,573
The trough's been built.
40
00:02:55,574 --> 00:02:57,708
All we need now
is a little glass of bourbon
41
00:02:57,709 --> 00:02:59,677
To put her teeth in,
and she'll be in,
42
00:02:59,678 --> 00:03:00,812
Pardon the expression,
43
00:03:00,813 --> 00:03:02,080
Hog heaven.
44
00:03:03,582 --> 00:03:05,950
Hey, popcorn!
45
00:03:09,955 --> 00:03:12,157
Marcy, I don't need you
to tell me what to eat.
46
00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:13,158
You're not my mother.
47
00:03:13,159 --> 00:03:14,392
If you were,
48
00:03:14,393 --> 00:03:16,661
You'd know how to make
a decent melon ball.
49
00:03:16,662 --> 00:03:17,796
Oh...
50
00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:19,931
[coughs]
51
00:03:19,932 --> 00:03:21,699
Mm! It's good.
52
00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:23,668
No, no, no, no, no.
No more popcorn
53
00:03:23,669 --> 00:03:25,703
Till you put that junk
in the garbage.
54
00:03:25,704 --> 00:03:27,672
Junk? I got
a lot of good stuff here.
55
00:03:27,673 --> 00:03:29,808
I can use a lot of this.
56
00:03:29,809 --> 00:03:32,177
Steve, look what
she wants me to throw out.
57
00:03:35,114 --> 00:03:37,081
My hedge clippers.
58
00:03:38,184 --> 00:03:39,583
They disappeared one day
from my yard.
59
00:03:39,584 --> 00:03:40,484
How did you get them?
60
00:03:43,689 --> 00:03:45,523
Bud!
61
00:03:45,524 --> 00:03:46,390
Get down here!
62
00:03:49,228 --> 00:03:50,295
What, dad?
63
00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:51,495
Did you take
these hedge clippers?
64
00:03:51,496 --> 00:03:52,931
Yes, dad.
65
00:03:52,932 --> 00:03:55,033
You remember? You called
mr. Rhoades up on the phone,
66
00:03:55,034 --> 00:03:56,434
And I slipped over
and took them?
67
00:04:01,006 --> 00:04:03,007
Well, don't ever
do it again.
68
00:04:03,008 --> 00:04:05,710
I'm sorry, steve,
he must've misunderstood.
69
00:04:05,711 --> 00:04:08,479
Hey, that's
my car battery.
70
00:04:09,081 --> 00:04:11,082
[laughs]
71
00:04:11,083 --> 00:04:12,683
Well, you can't
count that, steve.
72
00:04:12,684 --> 00:04:15,686
That was before
we became friends.
73
00:04:15,687 --> 00:04:17,355
Hi, everybody.
74
00:04:17,356 --> 00:04:20,191
Oh, the greatest thing
happened at school today.
75
00:04:20,192 --> 00:04:21,860
The bus driver
had a nervous breakdown,
76
00:04:21,861 --> 00:04:24,462
So we had to drive the bus
ourselves,
77
00:04:24,463 --> 00:04:26,164
So, um, if anybody calls
78
00:04:26,165 --> 00:04:28,466
And accuses me of locking
the driver in the bathroom
79
00:04:28,467 --> 00:04:30,668
And taking the bus
on a joy ride,
80
00:04:30,669 --> 00:04:32,570
Now you know it's not true.
81
00:04:32,571 --> 00:04:35,406
So, what is all
this junk anyways?
82
00:04:35,407 --> 00:04:37,876
It's not junk, kel.
It's dad's life.
83
00:04:37,877 --> 00:04:40,044
And it's all in this
little box, isn't it, dad?
84
00:04:40,045 --> 00:04:41,479
You bet it is, son.
85
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:43,915
Hey, now, look at this.
86
00:04:43,916 --> 00:04:46,517
"mvp, pop warner football."
87
00:04:46,518 --> 00:04:49,120
I was a little younger
than you when I got this, son.
88
00:04:49,121 --> 00:04:51,289
"all-star little league
shortstop."
89
00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:53,391
Oh, man.
90
00:04:53,392 --> 00:04:54,893
"all-city football."
91
00:04:54,894 --> 00:04:55,894
Huh?
92
00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:57,695
Then I met your mom.
93
00:04:59,664 --> 00:05:04,102
"co-ed softball...
Participant award."
94
00:05:04,103 --> 00:05:07,738
"rookie of the year
shoe salesman, 1968."
95
00:05:07,739 --> 00:05:09,941
You notice
how they're getting smaller?
96
00:05:09,942 --> 00:05:13,378
Everything about him is.
97
00:05:13,379 --> 00:05:15,579
Oh, yeah, and I'm sure
you didn't have anything
98
00:05:15,580 --> 00:05:17,715
To do with that,
either, did you?
99
00:05:19,318 --> 00:05:21,752
Well, that's the end
of my trophies.
100
00:05:21,753 --> 00:05:23,687
Gee, al, what
a testament to a...
101
00:05:24,489 --> 00:05:26,590
Loser.
102
00:05:26,591 --> 00:05:27,792
Thanks, steve.
103
00:05:27,793 --> 00:05:30,528
No, really, you'll never
relive this glory.
104
00:05:30,529 --> 00:05:33,364
God, you must feel low.
105
00:05:33,365 --> 00:05:36,200
I mean, I didn't have that much
of an athletic past--
106
00:05:36,201 --> 00:05:37,936
Oh, come on, steve,
you must have got
107
00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:40,504
The "running home to mommy"
trophy once or twice.
108
00:05:41,974 --> 00:05:43,174
Well, if I did win one,
109
00:05:43,175 --> 00:05:45,443
I'm sure it's somewhere
in your box.
110
00:05:45,444 --> 00:05:50,214
The point, however,
is my life is...Getting better.
111
00:05:50,215 --> 00:05:52,216
I've got the best
trophy in the whole world
112
00:05:52,217 --> 00:05:54,319
Right here
to share it with me.
113
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,287
Couldn't you just
eat him up?
114
00:05:56,288 --> 00:05:58,189
Nah, peg'd probably
just serve him cold.
115
00:06:00,059 --> 00:06:02,493
Hey! Look at this!
116
00:06:02,494 --> 00:06:04,228
The book that inspired
my whole life.
117
00:06:04,229 --> 00:06:06,497
Wanda the preppy hippo?
118
00:06:06,498 --> 00:06:10,768
The little enginethat could.
119
00:06:10,769 --> 00:06:12,236
Is this my book, al?
120
00:06:12,237 --> 00:06:13,838
No, it's not,
and I can prove it.
121
00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:15,039
Look here.
122
00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:19,210
Yeah. "property
of the oakwood library."
123
00:06:19,211 --> 00:06:21,612
Uh, gee, al,
it's a little overdue.
124
00:06:21,613 --> 00:06:24,715
1957 is past,
isn't it?
125
00:06:24,716 --> 00:06:26,617
Can you believe that, kel?
126
00:06:26,618 --> 00:06:28,919
Dad was alive in 1957.
127
00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:32,223
I didn't even think
it was a real year.
128
00:06:32,224 --> 00:06:34,292
Wow, what memories
this brings back.
129
00:06:34,293 --> 00:06:35,526
Yeah. Eh...
130
00:06:38,397 --> 00:06:41,732
You can't
throw this away!
131
00:06:41,733 --> 00:06:42,900
Well, steve, it's a book.
132
00:06:42,901 --> 00:06:45,636
He certainly can't read it.
133
00:06:45,637 --> 00:06:47,238
Al!
134
00:06:47,239 --> 00:06:49,040
This is literature.
135
00:06:49,041 --> 00:06:50,041
Don't you understand?
136
00:06:50,042 --> 00:06:52,110
You have to bring
this book back.
137
00:06:52,111 --> 00:06:53,478
Libraries all over the country
138
00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:55,946
Are suffering from
a shortage of books.
139
00:06:55,947 --> 00:06:59,083
And a book is fuel
for a hungry mind.
140
00:06:59,084 --> 00:07:00,851
Ah, books
are for idiots.
141
00:07:00,852 --> 00:07:04,155
I mean...You can learn
everything you need
142
00:07:04,156 --> 00:07:08,526
From a movie or a date.
143
00:07:08,527 --> 00:07:12,763
Well, the world
needs bimbos too.
144
00:07:12,764 --> 00:07:15,699
Al, just take the book back.
145
00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:18,069
I've got bad memories
of that library.
146
00:07:18,070 --> 00:07:21,805
Aw, honey, is that because
all the other kids were reading?
147
00:07:23,242 --> 00:07:24,842
No.
148
00:07:24,843 --> 00:07:26,277
It's because of the librarian...
149
00:07:26,278 --> 00:07:28,846
Miss de groot.
150
00:07:28,847 --> 00:07:32,016
God, she was fat and old and...
151
00:07:32,017 --> 00:07:33,884
Fat.
152
00:07:33,885 --> 00:07:36,220
I remember she had
this cup of coffee on her desk,
153
00:07:36,221 --> 00:07:38,622
And she'd always be spooning
mounds of sugar into it
154
00:07:38,623 --> 00:07:39,823
From a jar.
155
00:07:39,824 --> 00:07:40,958
When she'd stir it,
156
00:07:40,959 --> 00:07:42,293
It would make
these clanking sounds
157
00:07:42,294 --> 00:07:44,495
Like chains on a ghost.
158
00:07:44,496 --> 00:07:47,165
A fat ghost.
159
00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:49,467
God, she hated me.
160
00:07:49,468 --> 00:07:51,936
[clanking]
161
00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:12,290
Well...
162
00:08:12,291 --> 00:08:14,658
Young mr. Bundy.
163
00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:19,029
The devil boy.
164
00:08:24,035 --> 00:08:26,270
You'd like to check these out,
would you?
165
00:08:26,271 --> 00:08:27,771
Well, I'm afraid you can't.
166
00:08:27,772 --> 00:08:29,307
Do you know why?
167
00:08:29,308 --> 00:08:30,975
Because I didn't bring you
french fries
168
00:08:30,976 --> 00:08:33,111
Like the other boys do?
169
00:08:33,112 --> 00:08:36,314
You're a bad seed, bundy.
170
00:08:36,315 --> 00:08:37,381
You can't have these books
171
00:08:37,382 --> 00:08:39,783
Because you are
consistently overdue,
172
00:08:39,784 --> 00:08:41,685
You never have the money to pay,
173
00:08:41,686 --> 00:08:45,590
And looking at you now,
I doubt you ever will.
174
00:08:45,591 --> 00:08:46,991
I'll bring 'em back,
I promise.
175
00:08:46,992 --> 00:08:48,392
You always promise,
176
00:08:48,393 --> 00:08:50,228
But you don't follow through.
177
00:08:50,229 --> 00:08:52,696
And that, in a nutshell,
is your problem.
178
00:08:52,697 --> 00:08:54,698
Make a promise, keep a promise.
179
00:08:54,699 --> 00:08:58,603
Yeah, yeah,
bake a pie, eat a pie.
180
00:09:02,407 --> 00:09:03,774
Can I have the books now?
181
00:09:03,775 --> 00:09:05,510
I've got a book report
due tomorrow.
182
00:09:05,511 --> 00:09:07,612
You may take just one book.
183
00:09:07,613 --> 00:09:10,781
Hey, be fair.
Can you eat just one pig?
184
00:09:15,587 --> 00:09:18,756
You're a horrible
little boy.
185
00:09:18,757 --> 00:09:21,159
You'll never amount
to a hill of beans.
186
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:23,060
And I wish that
on you, bundy:
187
00:09:23,061 --> 00:09:25,396
To be the failure you deserve.
188
00:09:26,465 --> 00:09:28,065
And take that hand
out of your pants.
189
00:09:28,066 --> 00:09:29,367
It's a filthy little habit.
190
00:09:31,703 --> 00:09:35,606
Now, I'm going to let you have
the little engine that could
191
00:09:35,607 --> 00:09:37,875
On the basis that you might
learn something,
192
00:09:37,876 --> 00:09:41,245
Though we both know you won't.
193
00:09:41,246 --> 00:09:43,981
Do you think anyone
can teach you anything?
194
00:09:43,982 --> 00:09:45,716
Well, you've just taught me
195
00:09:45,717 --> 00:09:49,920
That even the slightest movement
can make a fat person sweat.
196
00:09:52,324 --> 00:09:53,658
Three days.
197
00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:56,227
You have three days
to bring this back.
198
00:09:56,228 --> 00:09:58,128
Promise you'll bring it
back on time.
199
00:09:58,129 --> 00:09:59,263
I promise.
200
00:09:59,264 --> 00:10:02,066
Oh, that means
almost nothing.
201
00:10:02,067 --> 00:10:03,601
But if you don't,
remember,
202
00:10:03,602 --> 00:10:06,537
I'll be waiting for you.
203
00:10:10,041 --> 00:10:13,043
Boy... She hates you, al.
204
00:10:13,044 --> 00:10:16,080
I swear, one day, I'm gonna
take that bowl of sugar
205
00:10:16,081 --> 00:10:18,516
And pour the whole thing
down her gas tank.
206
00:10:22,287 --> 00:10:24,888
My life's gotta get
better than this.
207
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:38,336
That's when I first learned
that redheads can kill you.
208
00:10:38,337 --> 00:10:41,171
Come on, al,
that was 30 years ago.
209
00:10:41,172 --> 00:10:42,940
The woman's dead.
210
00:10:42,941 --> 00:10:45,843
No one can eat
that much sugar and live.
211
00:10:45,844 --> 00:10:48,112
Take it back.
212
00:10:48,113 --> 00:10:49,980
Face your fears, al.
213
00:10:49,981 --> 00:10:53,217
Be a man and return
the little engine that could.
214
00:11:15,807 --> 00:11:19,176
You're alive!
215
00:11:19,177 --> 00:11:24,114
And you owe us $2163.
216
00:11:27,786 --> 00:11:29,052
Wait a second,
217
00:11:29,053 --> 00:11:33,157
You're charging me $2000
for an overdue library book?
218
00:11:33,158 --> 00:11:36,827
Perhaps if you didn't ignore
the overdue notices we sent you
219
00:11:36,828 --> 00:11:38,128
For the first 10 years,
220
00:11:38,129 --> 00:11:39,597
You wouldn't be
in this pickle.
221
00:11:40,699 --> 00:11:42,333
Sit down.
222
00:11:45,704 --> 00:11:48,406
You made me a promise
and you didn't keep it,
223
00:11:48,407 --> 00:11:50,341
So now you must pay the piper.
224
00:11:50,342 --> 00:11:51,676
For you see,
225
00:11:51,677 --> 00:11:56,347
Even the road to ruin
has its tollgate.
226
00:11:56,348 --> 00:12:01,752
Now...Will you be paying
in cash or food stamps?
227
00:12:03,288 --> 00:12:05,589
Can't we make
a little deal here?
228
00:12:05,590 --> 00:12:07,024
I'll tell you what.
229
00:12:07,025 --> 00:12:10,594
Suppose I tape a doughnut
to my driver's license
230
00:12:10,595 --> 00:12:12,863
And slip it to you...
231
00:12:12,864 --> 00:12:14,131
You give it back,
232
00:12:14,132 --> 00:12:18,636
And the doughnut just
mysteriously...Disappears?
233
00:12:20,439 --> 00:12:24,375
Could it be that you don't
have the $2000?
234
00:12:24,376 --> 00:12:26,143
Could it be that I was correct
235
00:12:26,144 --> 00:12:29,647
When I made and educated guess
that you would fail in life?
236
00:12:29,648 --> 00:12:32,182
Could it be that the nails
that hold your chair together
237
00:12:32,183 --> 00:12:34,752
Are from the planet krypton?
238
00:12:37,088 --> 00:12:39,824
Oh, look. It's after 12.
239
00:12:39,825 --> 00:12:42,693
That's another 20 cents
you owe us.
240
00:12:42,694 --> 00:12:46,497
Well, it just so happens that
I returned that book years ago.
241
00:12:46,498 --> 00:12:47,931
I'd remember if you did.
242
00:12:47,932 --> 00:12:48,932
You weren't here.
243
00:12:48,933 --> 00:12:49,933
I'm always here.
244
00:12:49,934 --> 00:12:51,201
Not that day.
245
00:12:51,202 --> 00:12:56,440
I believe that was
the day of the big cake heist.
246
00:12:56,441 --> 00:12:59,142
You were rounded up
for questioning.
247
00:12:59,143 --> 00:13:00,811
Perhaps a policeman's
rubber hose
248
00:13:00,812 --> 00:13:02,246
Can get to the truth.
249
00:13:02,247 --> 00:13:03,681
Wait, I'll just go
to the shelves
250
00:13:03,682 --> 00:13:05,816
And get that book
and prove it to you.
251
00:13:05,817 --> 00:13:07,551
We'll both go.
252
00:13:07,552 --> 00:13:10,187
So, mr. Bundy, what
do you do for a living,
253
00:13:10,188 --> 00:13:12,823
Presuming you're not still
in high school?
254
00:13:14,726 --> 00:13:17,928
Librarian hit man.
255
00:13:17,929 --> 00:13:20,264
I thought so.
256
00:13:20,265 --> 00:13:22,065
Well, let's see. I...
257
00:13:22,066 --> 00:13:25,469
I know I put it here
somewhere, uh...
258
00:13:25,470 --> 00:13:27,170
Is that a duck?
259
00:13:27,171 --> 00:13:29,473
The book, bundy.
The book.
260
00:13:29,474 --> 00:13:32,676
Yeah, maybe,
it could be, uh...
261
00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:37,515
Oh, here it is!
262
00:13:42,821 --> 00:13:45,188
The little engine that could.
263
00:13:45,189 --> 00:13:47,625
Boy, this brings back
a lot of memories.
264
00:13:47,626 --> 00:13:49,192
You planted that in there.
265
00:13:49,193 --> 00:13:50,828
Prove it, de groot.
266
00:13:50,829 --> 00:13:53,864
[laughs]
267
00:13:53,865 --> 00:13:55,065
A loser?
268
00:13:55,066 --> 00:13:57,802
I think not.
269
00:14:03,708 --> 00:14:05,576
So I paid a little fine,
270
00:14:05,577 --> 00:14:07,578
I apologized, that was it.
271
00:14:07,579 --> 00:14:08,612
Aw, see, al?
272
00:14:08,613 --> 00:14:10,213
You were worried
over nothing.
273
00:14:10,214 --> 00:14:11,415
Yep, you're right.
274
00:14:11,416 --> 00:14:13,951
Kids, let this be a lesson--
275
00:14:13,952 --> 00:14:16,520
You can't do wrong
doing right.
276
00:14:16,521 --> 00:14:17,721
Let's get this...
277
00:14:17,722 --> 00:14:20,023
Female reporter:
On the darker side of the news,
278
00:14:20,024 --> 00:14:22,225
Surveillance camerasin the oakwood library
279
00:14:22,226 --> 00:14:23,761
Caught the man
280
00:14:23,762 --> 00:14:26,430
With the most overdue bookin chicago history
281
00:14:26,431 --> 00:14:28,699
As he sneaked
the little engine that could
282
00:14:28,700 --> 00:14:32,069
Back on the shelvesto avoid paying the fine.
283
00:14:32,070 --> 00:14:33,571
Watch carefully in slow motion
284
00:14:33,572 --> 00:14:37,207
As he distractsand almost kills the librarian,
285
00:14:37,208 --> 00:14:39,677
Then slips the bookback on the shelf.
286
00:14:39,678 --> 00:14:41,612
So take a good lookat this man.
287
00:14:41,613 --> 00:14:45,549
He's been identifiedas chicago's own al bundy,
288
00:14:45,550 --> 00:14:50,688
In this reporter's opinion,a true piece of human garbage.
289
00:14:53,458 --> 00:14:55,726
[telephone rings]
290
00:14:57,796 --> 00:15:00,397
Dad, let me try
something out on you.
291
00:15:00,398 --> 00:15:01,732
How does this sound?
292
00:15:01,733 --> 00:15:05,268
Bud...Smith.
293
00:15:05,269 --> 00:15:07,538
Yeah, mom, we were watching.
294
00:15:07,539 --> 00:15:10,541
Didn't he look good?
295
00:15:10,542 --> 00:15:13,043
Well, daddy, this may be
the most embarrassing thing
296
00:15:13,044 --> 00:15:15,245
That has ever happened
to this family.
297
00:15:15,246 --> 00:15:16,547
I mean,
we've been training
298
00:15:16,548 --> 00:15:19,917
For something like this
all our lives, but...
299
00:15:19,918 --> 00:15:21,752
You're never really ready.
300
00:15:21,753 --> 00:15:22,753
[doorbell rings]
301
00:15:22,754 --> 00:15:24,655
Gee, let me get that.
302
00:15:24,656 --> 00:15:26,690
That's probably either
somebody telling me
303
00:15:26,691 --> 00:15:29,393
I'm time magazine's,
man of the year,
304
00:15:29,394 --> 00:15:30,694
Or it's steve and marcy.
305
00:15:32,964 --> 00:15:36,133
Hi, steve and marcy.
What's new?
306
00:15:36,134 --> 00:15:41,805
Weren't my property values
low enough?
307
00:15:41,806 --> 00:15:43,373
I'm glad
you got caught, al.
308
00:15:43,374 --> 00:15:45,709
Oh, I think
we all are, marce.
309
00:15:45,710 --> 00:15:48,378
You serve as an example
for all our young readers,
310
00:15:48,379 --> 00:15:49,947
Showing them they must
be book smart,
311
00:15:49,948 --> 00:15:51,415
Not book cheats,
312
00:15:51,416 --> 00:15:53,150
That the hand of
justice will triumph,
313
00:15:53,151 --> 00:15:54,685
Even if it must
reach down
314
00:15:54,686 --> 00:15:56,219
To the very bowels
of the earth--
315
00:16:04,395 --> 00:16:06,329
It was steve and marcy, peg.
316
00:16:06,330 --> 00:16:08,566
Gee, al,
do you think this means
317
00:16:08,567 --> 00:16:10,801
You'll be on
america's most wanted?
318
00:16:13,371 --> 00:16:14,972
Daddy, why couldn't
you have gotten caught
319
00:16:14,973 --> 00:16:17,808
Robbing a bank
like cindy's father?
320
00:16:17,809 --> 00:16:19,409
I mean, at least
she can walk around
321
00:16:19,410 --> 00:16:20,778
With her head held high.
322
00:16:20,779 --> 00:16:22,546
Yeah, dad.
323
00:16:22,547 --> 00:16:25,449
As the lone carrier
of the bundy seed,
324
00:16:25,450 --> 00:16:29,519
I foresee some lonely,
seedless nights.
325
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:32,957
Family, first of all,
it was entrapment,
326
00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:34,658
So legally
I feel vindicated.
327
00:16:34,659 --> 00:16:36,193
And second...
328
00:16:36,194 --> 00:16:38,462
So what?
329
00:16:38,463 --> 00:16:40,363
Look, I know things
look dark right now,
330
00:16:40,364 --> 00:16:41,732
But this is gonna blow over.
331
00:16:41,733 --> 00:16:44,401
Who's up
for a game of yahtzee?
332
00:16:56,815 --> 00:16:58,649
Al, it doesn't matter
333
00:16:58,650 --> 00:17:00,951
What anyone else
thinks about you.
334
00:17:00,952 --> 00:17:02,419
I just want you to know
335
00:17:02,420 --> 00:17:04,989
That this hasn't changed
my feelings at all.
336
00:17:06,658 --> 00:17:08,558
Gee, that's nice
of you, peg.
337
00:17:08,559 --> 00:17:10,761
Hey, you want to go upstairs
and fool around?
338
00:17:11,496 --> 00:17:12,763
No.
339
00:17:20,338 --> 00:17:21,404
Hi, bud.
340
00:17:22,306 --> 00:17:23,440
Hi, kelly.
341
00:17:23,441 --> 00:17:24,608
It's jim.
342
00:17:24,609 --> 00:17:26,744
And natalie.
343
00:17:26,745 --> 00:17:29,513
So, um, what's for dinner,
aunt peggy?
344
00:17:30,248 --> 00:17:31,314
It's ruth.
345
00:17:31,315 --> 00:17:32,916
Ruth.
346
00:17:32,917 --> 00:17:35,485
Now, kids...
347
00:17:35,486 --> 00:17:40,057
Go ahead and put your bags
in the closet, next to mine.
348
00:17:40,058 --> 00:17:42,626
And let's try
to cheer your father up.
349
00:17:42,627 --> 00:17:43,794
He's a little bit down,
350
00:17:43,795 --> 00:17:47,898
What with that piece
on paul harvey.
351
00:17:47,899 --> 00:17:49,432
I used to like him.
352
00:17:49,433 --> 00:17:51,234
Oh, now, al, don't worry.
353
00:17:51,235 --> 00:17:52,602
Honey, we've weathered
your paychecks,
354
00:17:52,603 --> 00:17:54,838
We'll weather this too.
355
00:17:54,839 --> 00:17:55,873
[sighs]
356
00:17:55,874 --> 00:17:57,440
And, al, I want you to know
357
00:17:57,441 --> 00:17:59,677
That no matter how bad it gets,
358
00:17:59,678 --> 00:18:02,579
And I think I speak
for the kids too,
359
00:18:02,580 --> 00:18:07,350
We will not wear our bags
in the house.
360
00:18:07,351 --> 00:18:08,786
Right, kids?
361
00:18:08,787 --> 00:18:10,921
Well, not in my room...
I can't make any promises.
362
00:18:10,922 --> 00:18:12,856
There, you feel better, al?
363
00:18:14,859 --> 00:18:16,560
Where you going, honey?
364
00:18:16,561 --> 00:18:17,995
I'm going to pay the fine.
365
00:18:17,996 --> 00:18:19,429
It'll break us,
366
00:18:19,430 --> 00:18:22,232
But at least we don't have
to be ashamed of who we are.
367
00:18:30,208 --> 00:18:32,242
[clanking]
368
00:18:42,687 --> 00:18:45,856
Hello, mr. Bundy,
I've been expecting you.
369
00:18:45,857 --> 00:18:50,293
Hey, man, don't
bundy that book.
370
00:18:55,533 --> 00:18:57,434
You're quite famous, you know.
371
00:18:57,435 --> 00:18:58,836
This week, we've had
372
00:18:58,837 --> 00:19:00,971
34 overdue books
returned by mail...
373
00:19:00,972 --> 00:19:02,773
With checks.
374
00:19:02,774 --> 00:19:04,108
The children are terrified
375
00:19:04,109 --> 00:19:06,844
And treat each book
like fine china.
376
00:19:06,845 --> 00:19:08,979
Mr. Bundy...
377
00:19:08,980 --> 00:19:12,750
You've become the freddy krueger
of the library system.
378
00:19:12,751 --> 00:19:14,618
Miss de groot,
379
00:19:14,619 --> 00:19:17,888
Does the word "sooey"
mean anything to you?
380
00:19:17,889 --> 00:19:22,126
Oh, children, quiet down,
or you'll wind up like this man.
381
00:19:23,762 --> 00:19:25,695
You know, mr. Bundy...
382
00:19:25,696 --> 00:19:28,298
I've worked at
this library for 44 years.
383
00:19:28,299 --> 00:19:32,302
I was eligible for retirement
three years ago.
384
00:19:32,303 --> 00:19:33,871
You know why I stayed?
385
00:19:34,773 --> 00:19:36,974
You learned to eat books?
386
00:19:36,975 --> 00:19:39,810
You're a horrible little boy.
387
00:19:39,811 --> 00:19:42,913
I kept this job
for one reason...
388
00:19:42,914 --> 00:19:45,983
I knew I'd nail you
and I did.
389
00:19:45,984 --> 00:19:49,153
Pat garrett got billy the kid,
390
00:19:49,154 --> 00:19:51,588
And I finally got you.
391
00:19:51,589 --> 00:19:53,257
My job is over.
392
00:19:53,258 --> 00:19:56,193
Today is my last day.
393
00:19:56,194 --> 00:19:57,928
You know, it's funny...
394
00:19:57,929 --> 00:20:00,197
I could have given you
amnesty on the book.
395
00:20:00,198 --> 00:20:02,599
I would have for anybody else...
396
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,568
But I always hated you.
397
00:20:07,272 --> 00:20:10,607
Is it wrong
to hate a 9-year-old boy?
398
00:20:10,608 --> 00:20:12,542
No.
399
00:20:12,543 --> 00:20:14,845
Not when that boy is you.
400
00:20:14,846 --> 00:20:17,247
It's the joy of my life
to see you grow up
401
00:20:17,248 --> 00:20:19,449
Like I always knew you would:
402
00:20:19,450 --> 00:20:22,552
A total and complete loser.
403
00:20:22,553 --> 00:20:25,989
Today, when I get
in my car
404
00:20:25,990 --> 00:20:28,425
And leave this place
for the last time,
405
00:20:28,426 --> 00:20:30,160
I will be whole.
406
00:20:30,161 --> 00:20:33,663
Your shame is my gold watch.
407
00:20:35,834 --> 00:20:38,702
So you think
I'm a loser.
408
00:20:38,703 --> 00:20:41,305
Just because I have
a stinking job that I hate,
409
00:20:41,306 --> 00:20:43,606
A family
that doesn't respect me,
410
00:20:43,607 --> 00:20:47,177
A whole city
that curses the day I was born.
411
00:20:47,178 --> 00:20:49,346
Well, that may mean
loser to you,
412
00:20:49,347 --> 00:20:51,915
But let me tell you something.
413
00:20:51,916 --> 00:20:53,283
Every morning when I wake up,
414
00:20:53,284 --> 00:20:55,485
I know it's not
going to get any better
415
00:20:55,486 --> 00:20:58,021
Until I go back to sleep again.
416
00:20:58,022 --> 00:20:59,456
So I get up,
417
00:20:59,457 --> 00:21:03,460
Have my watered-down tang
and still-frozen pop tart,
418
00:21:03,461 --> 00:21:06,196
Get in my car,
with no upholstery, no gas
419
00:21:06,197 --> 00:21:07,865
And six more payments,
420
00:21:07,866 --> 00:21:09,066
To fight traffic
421
00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:11,168
Just for the privilege
of putting cheap shoes
422
00:21:11,169 --> 00:21:15,739
On the cloven hooves
of people like you.
423
00:21:15,740 --> 00:21:18,808
I'll never play football
like I thought I would.
424
00:21:18,809 --> 00:21:22,045
I'll never know the touch
of a beautiful woman.
425
00:21:22,046 --> 00:21:24,348
And I'll never again
know the joy of driving
426
00:21:24,349 --> 00:21:26,917
Without a bag on my head.
427
00:21:26,918 --> 00:21:29,386
But I'm not a loser,
428
00:21:29,387 --> 00:21:31,221
Because despite it all,
429
00:21:31,222 --> 00:21:32,890
Me and every other guy
430
00:21:32,891 --> 00:21:35,092
Who will never be
what he wanted to be,
431
00:21:35,093 --> 00:21:37,861
Are still out there being
what we don't want to be
432
00:21:37,862 --> 00:21:40,663
40 hours a week for life.
433
00:21:40,664 --> 00:21:43,700
And the fact that I haven't put
a gun in my mouth,
434
00:21:43,701 --> 00:21:45,635
You pudding of a woman,
435
00:21:45,636 --> 00:21:48,438
Makes me a winner!
436
00:21:56,647 --> 00:21:58,181
No, mr. Bundy,
437
00:21:58,182 --> 00:22:00,284
That's what makes you a loser.
438
00:22:00,285 --> 00:22:03,120
You see, you could've made
something of your life,
439
00:22:03,121 --> 00:22:04,754
I suppose,
440
00:22:04,755 --> 00:22:06,556
But you never followed through.
441
00:22:06,557 --> 00:22:09,192
That's always been your problem.
442
00:22:09,193 --> 00:22:11,028
Like I always told you:
443
00:22:11,029 --> 00:22:13,830
Make a promise, keep a promise.
444
00:22:13,831 --> 00:22:16,400
And maybe if you did that
just once,
445
00:22:16,401 --> 00:22:17,801
You'd be a winner.
446
00:22:18,803 --> 00:22:20,870
Thank you,
miss de groot.
447
00:22:20,871 --> 00:22:22,339
As a matter of fact,
448
00:22:22,340 --> 00:22:24,174
I'm going to start keeping
promises right now.
449
00:22:24,175 --> 00:22:25,608
You won't.
450
00:22:25,609 --> 00:22:27,844
Yes, I will.
451
00:22:46,797 --> 00:22:48,665
[♪]
31628
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