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1
00:00:03,306 --> 00:00:04,308
Dad, it looks normal.
2
00:00:04,408 --> 00:00:07,314
Yeah? Well, look harder.
I swear I feel a mole.
3
00:00:07,415 --> 00:00:09,619
Do you see what
I've got slapped on my peepers?
4
00:00:09,719 --> 00:00:11,022
These are Argus eyes.
5
00:00:11,155 --> 00:00:13,159
If there was anything there,
I would see it.
6
00:00:14,529 --> 00:00:16,834
Someone is hitting
our door from the outside. Why?
7
00:00:17,001 --> 00:00:18,035
I got no idea.
8
00:00:18,036 --> 00:00:20,575
Excuse me.
Why are you hitting our door?
9
00:00:20,675 --> 00:00:22,945
This is a new thing
people do with doors.
10
00:00:22,946 --> 00:00:24,182
It's called knocking.
11
00:00:24,315 --> 00:00:25,552
That sounds fun.
12
00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:28,223
You only do it
from the outside.
13
00:00:28,357 --> 00:00:29,659
It means you want to come in.
14
00:00:29,660 --> 00:00:31,798
Oh, is it related
to the concept
15
00:00:31,931 --> 00:00:33,300
of knocking down the door?
16
00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:35,972
I don't believe it's
related to knocking down doors,
17
00:00:36,239 --> 00:00:38,209
and you have to do it in 3s.
18
00:00:38,210 --> 00:00:39,646
There's,
like, a million rules
19
00:00:39,647 --> 00:00:40,447
to this stupid thing.
20
00:00:40,715 --> 00:00:42,652
So who are you
who has knocked my door?
21
00:00:42,785 --> 00:00:44,322
I am one who knows all,
22
00:00:44,523 --> 00:00:47,694
everything that ever was
and ever will be,
23
00:00:47,695 --> 00:00:50,802
for I am Fate, John Fate.
24
00:00:50,902 --> 00:00:52,605
Whoa, a Fate.
25
00:00:52,705 --> 00:00:54,976
I thought
the Fates were 3 sisters.
26
00:00:55,076 --> 00:00:56,212
There are many Fates.
27
00:00:56,312 --> 00:00:57,849
The sisters
are just the famous ones
28
00:00:57,982 --> 00:00:59,986
because that's
what they care about.
29
00:01:00,086 --> 00:01:02,458
No judgment,
just, you know, priorities.
30
00:01:02,559 --> 00:01:04,195
Fates
are very powerful.
31
00:01:04,295 --> 00:01:05,665
I think we'd better let him in.
32
00:01:05,798 --> 00:01:06,901
Hang on.
33
00:01:07,001 --> 00:01:08,504
How do we know
you're a real Fate
34
00:01:08,604 --> 00:01:10,207
and not just some thief who's
too lazy to knock down a door?
35
00:01:10,307 --> 00:01:11,276
Good point.
36
00:01:11,376 --> 00:01:12,913
I knew you would ask that.
37
00:01:13,013 --> 00:01:14,181
This guy's legit.
Wow.
38
00:01:14,281 --> 00:01:15,684
I'm still not convinced.
39
00:01:15,685 --> 00:01:18,390
I was expecting
that response, as well.
40
00:01:18,490 --> 00:01:21,029
It's my burden in life
to know what's coming,
41
00:01:21,129 --> 00:01:23,501
and yet I still have to wait
for it to happen.
42
00:01:23,601 --> 00:01:25,337
Sorry about your head,
by the way.
43
00:01:25,437 --> 00:01:27,408
What? Yah! Ow!
44
00:01:27,509 --> 00:01:28,611
OK. Let him in.
45
00:01:28,744 --> 00:01:30,380
Do not let him in.
You know him?
46
00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:31,650
Yes, and I don't
want to deal with him.
47
00:01:31,750 --> 00:01:32,686
He's my ex-boyfriend.
48
00:01:32,819 --> 00:01:34,723
No kidding.
49
00:01:34,823 --> 00:01:37,127
Deliria.
50
00:01:37,261 --> 00:01:38,664
Ugh...
51
00:01:49,251 --> 00:01:50,621
♪ Uh! ♪
52
00:01:54,730 --> 00:01:56,967
♪ Uh! Uh! ♪
53
00:01:57,101 --> 00:02:01,643
♪ Uh uh uh whoo! ♪
54
00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:04,849
...and this
is where you'll collapse
55
00:02:04,983 --> 00:02:06,854
while choking on a cashew nut.
56
00:02:06,954 --> 00:02:08,123
I won't tell you
when it happens.
57
00:02:08,290 --> 00:02:09,525
I could, of course,
58
00:02:09,526 --> 00:02:11,428
but there has to be
some mystery in life.
59
00:02:11,429 --> 00:02:13,233
At least that's what I'm told.
60
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:14,603
Wow.
61
00:02:14,703 --> 00:02:16,172
I've never been given a tour
of my own palace before.
62
00:02:16,272 --> 00:02:17,743
You'll be given
a kind of tour
63
00:02:17,876 --> 00:02:21,182
when an angry mob puts you
up against the wall right there.
64
00:02:21,283 --> 00:02:23,153
I don't want to say
why that happens,
65
00:02:23,253 --> 00:02:26,026
but I will say
you get out of it by crying.
66
00:02:26,159 --> 00:02:27,628
That tracks.
Hey, I got a question.
67
00:02:27,728 --> 00:02:29,866
You probably get this
all the time. Am I gonna die?
68
00:02:29,966 --> 00:02:31,068
Yes.
69
00:02:31,069 --> 00:02:32,404
Aw, crap.
Why'd I even ask?
70
00:02:32,572 --> 00:02:34,375
All right, so I have
a follow-up. When?
71
00:02:34,509 --> 00:02:36,045
Why would you
want to know that?
72
00:02:36,145 --> 00:02:37,783
I almost get killed
all the time,
73
00:02:37,916 --> 00:02:39,853
and I yell, "Not today!"
74
00:02:39,953 --> 00:02:41,022
It's my thing.
75
00:02:41,156 --> 00:02:42,592
It's the turning point
of every battle,
76
00:02:42,725 --> 00:02:44,095
but now that I know
I'm gonna die,
77
00:02:44,195 --> 00:02:45,965
I can't say it
with the same confidence.
78
00:02:46,132 --> 00:02:49,372
I just want to know when I can
use that line and when I can't.
79
00:02:49,472 --> 00:02:51,711
Oh, the policy is,
we don't tell people
80
00:02:51,811 --> 00:02:54,382
the time or circumstances
of their death--
81
00:02:54,482 --> 00:02:56,854
it just gets messy--
but for special friends,
82
00:02:56,954 --> 00:03:00,861
we're allowed to give you
one of these--fate medallion.
83
00:03:00,961 --> 00:03:04,301
You don't eat it,
good for 25 yes-or-no questions,
84
00:03:04,402 --> 00:03:06,973
glows green for yes
and red for no.
85
00:03:07,074 --> 00:03:09,078
I just picked those colors
at random,
86
00:03:09,178 --> 00:03:10,480
but I think they work.
87
00:03:10,615 --> 00:03:14,421
Oh, and it explodes violently
after the 25th question,
88
00:03:14,556 --> 00:03:18,396
so remember the rules
and be sure to keep track.
89
00:03:18,530 --> 00:03:21,202
Ha ha ha! Sorry.
I know you don't.
90
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:24,442
Well, now I will, right?
91
00:03:24,576 --> 00:03:25,545
Nuts.
92
00:03:25,645 --> 00:03:27,081
You wasted
a question on that?
93
00:03:27,181 --> 00:03:28,750
That didn't count, did it?
94
00:03:28,751 --> 00:03:30,053
It did?
95
00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:31,356
I think we're
getting off track here
96
00:03:31,456 --> 00:03:33,060
if we don't use this opportunity
97
00:03:33,193 --> 00:03:34,997
to hear embarrassing stories
about our mother.
98
00:03:35,097 --> 00:03:37,367
Request denied,
and I'm sorry you can't stay.
99
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,305
Oh, I don't leave yet.
But you could.
100
00:03:39,405 --> 00:03:42,478
In fact, I cannot because
I don't, and that's fated.
101
00:03:42,579 --> 00:03:45,117
Have you learned nothing
after all these years,
102
00:03:45,250 --> 00:03:46,452
my little love pumpkin?
103
00:03:46,553 --> 00:03:47,722
Oh, slam!
104
00:03:47,822 --> 00:03:49,491
That's
what I'm talking about.
105
00:03:49,626 --> 00:03:51,764
I can see the sexual
chemistry is still going strong.
106
00:03:51,897 --> 00:03:53,366
Kudos to you, my good man.
107
00:03:53,499 --> 00:03:55,337
There is no chemistry,
sexual or otherwise.
108
00:03:55,437 --> 00:03:57,776
Trust me, he seems fun at first,
but it wears thin.
109
00:03:57,876 --> 00:03:59,813
So why are you here, John,
to win me back?
110
00:03:59,913 --> 00:04:01,983
Because you must know
that doesn't happen.
111
00:04:02,084 --> 00:04:03,220
Or does it?
112
00:04:03,386 --> 00:04:04,422
Ohh!
113
00:04:04,523 --> 00:04:07,194
Does she still have
that cute, little sneeze,
114
00:04:07,327 --> 00:04:08,964
the little mouse sneeze?
115
00:04:09,098 --> 00:04:10,901
Drives me mad
with desire,
116
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,505
the first two times, anyway.
117
00:04:12,605 --> 00:04:13,874
Did for me, as well.
118
00:04:13,974 --> 00:04:15,745
Interesting fact
about sneezes,
119
00:04:15,845 --> 00:04:18,015
they're the one thing
I can't predict.
120
00:04:18,149 --> 00:04:20,187
They're completely
outside of fate,
121
00:04:20,287 --> 00:04:22,926
unlike, say, broken vases.
122
00:04:24,261 --> 00:04:25,732
Never gets old.
123
00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:28,035
Oh, it does, trust me.
The less you engage, the better.
124
00:04:28,136 --> 00:04:30,307
Have you not already had enough
of his little parlor trick?
125
00:04:30,407 --> 00:04:33,213
Au contraire.
They're just getting started.
126
00:04:33,313 --> 00:04:35,149
They have a million
more questions
127
00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:37,254
about you and me
back in the day.
128
00:04:37,354 --> 00:04:39,225
I'd love to pound down
a few drinks
129
00:04:39,325 --> 00:04:42,164
with the man who took
my wife to pound town.
130
00:04:42,264 --> 00:04:43,567
I accept.
131
00:04:43,701 --> 00:04:45,404
...and that was our 16th date,
132
00:04:45,505 --> 00:04:48,711
but let me tell you
about that 17th date.
133
00:04:48,811 --> 00:04:52,017
It was a magical night
on the island of Crete.
134
00:04:52,150 --> 00:04:54,790
Now, of course, I was the only
one who knew the typhoon
135
00:04:54,890 --> 00:04:57,194
would soon destroy
the restaurant we were in
136
00:04:57,327 --> 00:04:58,698
and kill the entire staff,
137
00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:02,337
just as I know I'm about
to get another glass of wine.
138
00:05:02,437 --> 00:05:04,340
Another wine, please.
139
00:05:04,341 --> 00:05:06,045
It's not fun anymore.
140
00:05:06,179 --> 00:05:07,381
Told ya.
141
00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:09,051
Speaking of not fun,
the typhoon killed
142
00:05:09,152 --> 00:05:11,254
over half the population
on the island.
143
00:05:11,255 --> 00:05:12,859
Did I warn them? I didn't.
144
00:05:12,992 --> 00:05:16,767
This salad looks much better
than it ends up tasting,
145
00:05:16,867 --> 00:05:19,772
and here is where I run
to the bathroom to vomit.
146
00:05:19,873 --> 00:05:21,376
Have you all
had enough now?
147
00:05:21,476 --> 00:05:22,879
Yes. He's awful.
148
00:05:22,979 --> 00:05:24,583
What in god's name
did you ever see in him?
149
00:05:24,683 --> 00:05:26,051
Same thing you all did.
150
00:05:26,151 --> 00:05:27,788
It's exciting to know someone
who knows everything,
151
00:05:27,889 --> 00:05:28,857
and then it isn't.
152
00:05:28,958 --> 00:05:29,993
Agreed.
153
00:05:30,093 --> 00:05:32,832
Once he's done puking,
I'll ask him to leave.
154
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,068
Oh, here you are.
155
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:35,404
Listen. Dinner was fun,
156
00:05:35,505 --> 00:05:37,041
but you must know
I'm going to kick you out.
157
00:05:37,141 --> 00:05:38,410
Of course.
158
00:05:38,511 --> 00:05:40,013
I'm just dropping off
a few things for later.
159
00:05:40,147 --> 00:05:43,419
I have this special pillow.
I'm a side sleeper.
160
00:05:43,420 --> 00:05:44,790
I'm confused.
161
00:05:44,923 --> 00:05:46,593
You knew I came in here
to kick you out, yes?
162
00:05:46,693 --> 00:05:48,396
How could I have thought
anything else?
163
00:05:48,496 --> 00:05:50,099
But it looks like
you're moving in.
164
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:53,272
A lot of things I do
don't make sense to people
165
00:05:53,273 --> 00:05:55,277
who don't know the rest
of the story.
166
00:05:55,377 --> 00:05:56,814
The rest of the story?
167
00:05:56,914 --> 00:05:58,718
I don't want to get into
the nitty gritty of it,
168
00:05:58,818 --> 00:06:01,724
but I leave, yada, yada,
some things happen,
169
00:06:01,824 --> 00:06:03,594
and then I end up coming back.
170
00:06:03,694 --> 00:06:04,896
What things happen?
171
00:06:05,029 --> 00:06:07,234
Oh, it doesn't
concern you, I mean, yet.
172
00:06:07,368 --> 00:06:10,107
At some point, it will
after I marry your mom.
173
00:06:10,207 --> 00:06:11,543
What?
174
00:06:11,643 --> 00:06:13,981
Yes. You're my future
stepson. How about that?
175
00:06:14,081 --> 00:06:15,518
Mum and Dad split up?
176
00:06:15,651 --> 00:06:17,655
No. They love each other
right to the very end.
177
00:06:17,755 --> 00:06:20,360
Oh, OK.
Good, then, but he dies?
178
00:06:20,460 --> 00:06:22,765
OK. Note that
I didn't say anything.
179
00:06:22,899 --> 00:06:25,938
You came to it on your own,
but, yeah, he dies.
180
00:06:26,038 --> 00:06:27,274
Your mother is sad,
181
00:06:27,408 --> 00:06:29,445
but eventually,
she remembers what we had,
182
00:06:29,546 --> 00:06:32,217
and--bingo, bango--
you have a stepdad.
183
00:06:32,317 --> 00:06:34,254
Is there a good place
to put this pillow
184
00:06:34,255 --> 00:06:35,625
so no one touches it?
185
00:06:35,758 --> 00:06:37,260
But if you're here
now to get back together
186
00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:40,400
with my mum, that must mean
Dad is supposed to die soon?
187
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,371
Once again, that's you
188
00:06:42,471 --> 00:06:44,642
doing all
the thinky-thinky part.
189
00:06:44,742 --> 00:06:47,214
Anyway, if it makes this
any easier on you,
190
00:06:47,314 --> 00:06:48,651
I can take my pillow.
191
00:06:48,751 --> 00:06:50,554
It's just that I know
I'm gonna be using it here
192
00:06:50,688 --> 00:06:53,794
when I'm doing it with your mom,
and it's kind of bulky.
193
00:06:53,928 --> 00:06:56,567
I mean, it's not heavy
but more awkward.
194
00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,436
The pillow
doesn't matter anymore!
195
00:06:58,537 --> 00:07:00,073
That's what I was
trying to explain.
196
00:07:00,173 --> 00:07:04,214
Isn't that weird how something
can matter so much and then not?
197
00:07:04,315 --> 00:07:05,585
It reminds me of--
198
00:07:05,685 --> 00:07:06,987
How does he die?
199
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:08,690
Oh, you know
I can't tell you that one.
200
00:07:08,791 --> 00:07:11,530
Anyway, see you
at the wedding, son.
201
00:07:11,630 --> 00:07:13,232
Wait, wait.
You can't just go.
202
00:07:13,332 --> 00:07:14,703
I can, and I do.
203
00:07:14,870 --> 00:07:16,907
Oh, but now is when I tell you
that if you let me stay
204
00:07:17,007 --> 00:07:18,911
and chat with your mother
a little bit longer,
205
00:07:19,011 --> 00:07:22,819
I might be willing to spill
some details.
206
00:07:22,919 --> 00:07:24,856
Thank you
for getting rid of him.
207
00:07:24,956 --> 00:07:26,292
I didn't
get rid of him.
208
00:07:26,392 --> 00:07:27,729
We have to let him stay.
209
00:07:27,829 --> 00:07:29,264
What?
Oh, he's the worst.
210
00:07:29,364 --> 00:07:30,635
He said
that Dad's going to die
211
00:07:30,735 --> 00:07:31,737
and he's going to become
our stepfather.
212
00:07:31,837 --> 00:07:33,039
I'll kill him!
213
00:07:33,139 --> 00:07:34,408
Stupe,
that wouldn't change things.
214
00:07:34,509 --> 00:07:35,745
You don't know that.
215
00:07:35,845 --> 00:07:37,047
Would it change things
if I killed the guy?
216
00:07:37,181 --> 00:07:38,717
Are you lying?
217
00:07:38,817 --> 00:07:41,188
Stupe, he said that
he might be willing to tell us
218
00:07:41,355 --> 00:07:43,359
how dad dies
if he can talk to Mum.
219
00:07:43,459 --> 00:07:44,829
I'm pretty sure
I know how I die,
220
00:07:44,929 --> 00:07:48,570
and it involves no less
than 75 very randy horses.
221
00:07:48,704 --> 00:07:50,741
You're not dying,
not today.
222
00:07:50,875 --> 00:07:52,946
You see
how fun that is to say?
223
00:07:53,046 --> 00:07:55,249
Mum, I know
you don't like him.
224
00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:56,654
I know you don't want
to talk to him,
225
00:07:56,787 --> 00:07:58,590
but if you can get him
to tell us how Dad dies,
226
00:07:58,757 --> 00:08:00,460
we'll at least have a chance
of stopping it.
227
00:08:00,561 --> 00:08:02,364
Just lock up
the prettiest horses.
228
00:08:02,464 --> 00:08:03,901
I'll tell you which ones.
229
00:08:04,001 --> 00:08:06,640
I'll talk to him.
Ohh...
230
00:08:06,740 --> 00:08:08,443
John, I know you can hear me.
231
00:08:08,577 --> 00:08:10,813
I'm sorry I gave you
a hard time before.
232
00:08:10,814 --> 00:08:12,652
I would love to catch up.
233
00:08:12,786 --> 00:08:13,887
Knew it, love to hear it.
234
00:08:14,021 --> 00:08:16,626
Sorry about the bad news,
by the way.
235
00:08:16,726 --> 00:08:19,097
I never know what to say
in these circumstances.
236
00:08:19,231 --> 00:08:23,072
"Sorry" sounds bad,
but, you know, sorry.
237
00:08:25,544 --> 00:08:26,780
Here.
This is the wine he likes.
238
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:28,083
We don't need wine.
239
00:08:28,183 --> 00:08:28,985
I'm just going to torture him
240
00:08:29,085 --> 00:08:30,987
until he gives us
the information we need.
241
00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:31,556
No, Mum.
242
00:08:31,990 --> 00:08:34,060
The Fates are powerful
supernatural beings,
243
00:08:34,061 --> 00:08:35,129
cosmic and mortal.
244
00:08:35,130 --> 00:08:37,367
This guy is at least
as powerful as you are.
245
00:08:37,467 --> 00:08:39,539
You're going to have
to flirt, to charm,
246
00:08:39,639 --> 00:08:40,907
to seduce it out of him.
247
00:08:40,908 --> 00:08:41,676
Oh, if that's the case,
248
00:08:42,010 --> 00:08:43,479
I'll need a hell of a lot
more wine than that.
249
00:08:44,348 --> 00:08:46,719
There we go.
Now tart it up, boobs out.
250
00:08:46,853 --> 00:08:48,624
Give me that pouty mouth
you do so well.
251
00:08:48,724 --> 00:08:50,259
What you're selling here is sex.
252
00:08:50,260 --> 00:08:51,630
Uh, Ty, you OK?
253
00:08:51,763 --> 00:08:53,398
Hippo,
my dad is fated to die today.
254
00:08:53,399 --> 00:08:54,502
Do you honestly think
I'm thinking
255
00:08:54,636 --> 00:08:55,670
about having sex with my mother?
256
00:08:55,671 --> 00:08:56,372
You're talking about it.
257
00:08:56,607 --> 00:08:57,374
You wouldn't
be the first.
258
00:08:57,542 --> 00:08:58,276
There's no time
to unpack it.
259
00:08:58,376 --> 00:09:00,715
Just watch Dad
and keep him alive.
260
00:09:00,815 --> 00:09:02,351
I'll watch Mum seduce John Fate.
261
00:09:02,451 --> 00:09:04,922
We won't
let you down, right?
262
00:09:05,089 --> 00:09:09,264
I'm starting to really
not like you, tiny medallion.
263
00:09:09,364 --> 00:09:12,404
I'm so glad we get
to spend more time together.
264
00:09:12,505 --> 00:09:14,341
What's this
about Shlub dying?
265
00:09:14,441 --> 00:09:16,713
Whoa, whoa.
Let's slow down.
266
00:09:16,813 --> 00:09:18,483
"Hi, John. How are you?
267
00:09:18,584 --> 00:09:20,655
What have you been up to
since we broke up?"
268
00:09:20,788 --> 00:09:22,559
"Oh, I'm glad you asked.
269
00:09:22,659 --> 00:09:25,230
I've taken up rock climbing.
What a workout."
270
00:09:25,330 --> 00:09:27,568
You really think
I would have that conversation?
271
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:28,936
No. I knew you wouldn't.
272
00:09:28,937 --> 00:09:31,677
I just wanted you to know
how cool I am now.
273
00:09:31,777 --> 00:09:33,145
Well, the joke's on you
274
00:09:33,245 --> 00:09:35,283
because I don't think
rock climbing is cool at all.
275
00:09:35,383 --> 00:09:36,419
The gear is cool.
276
00:09:36,553 --> 00:09:37,755
Just tell us!
277
00:09:37,756 --> 00:09:39,324
Oh, I will tell you,
just not yet.
278
00:09:39,458 --> 00:09:41,695
I'm not waiting.
Rrgh... yah!
279
00:09:41,696 --> 00:09:43,800
OK. Get it
out of your system.
280
00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:46,740
You know I know where each
of these things is going, right?
281
00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:49,578
You know, you can never
actually hit me with one.
282
00:09:49,579 --> 00:09:51,683
Shut up!
Shut up! Shut up!
283
00:09:51,784 --> 00:09:52,852
Heh heh heh.
284
00:09:52,986 --> 00:09:54,487
I'm just thinking about the fact
285
00:09:54,488 --> 00:09:56,693
that you eventually
get too tired to shoot.
286
00:09:56,793 --> 00:09:58,062
I don't get tired.
287
00:09:58,162 --> 00:09:59,932
Tell me what happens
to my husband.
288
00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:02,102
Raagh...
289
00:10:02,103 --> 00:10:03,874
Oh. I didn't know
that could happen.
290
00:10:03,974 --> 00:10:06,244
I didn't, either,
but I knew that it would,
291
00:10:06,245 --> 00:10:07,615
so let's--oh!
292
00:10:07,748 --> 00:10:09,585
Fine.
We'll try the torture approach.
293
00:10:09,752 --> 00:10:13,059
Are you sure
that's not how I die?
294
00:10:13,159 --> 00:10:14,996
Like, sure sure?
295
00:10:15,096 --> 00:10:17,334
You're gonna
waste all your questions.
296
00:10:17,434 --> 00:10:19,606
Dad, why do you have
so many daggers?
297
00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:21,576
I'm learning
to juggle. Mm!
298
00:10:21,676 --> 00:10:22,979
Not tonight you aren't.
299
00:10:23,079 --> 00:10:24,516
Are you planning to help
make this place safe?
300
00:10:24,649 --> 00:10:25,852
I don't know.
301
00:10:25,952 --> 00:10:27,387
I'm starting to think
about what you said,
302
00:10:27,487 --> 00:10:29,224
and it's causing the top
of my body to hurt a little bit.
303
00:10:29,324 --> 00:10:32,197
Like, if something's fated
to happen, it's gonna happen,
304
00:10:32,297 --> 00:10:35,269
and that includes us trying
to stop it from happening.
305
00:10:35,270 --> 00:10:37,474
Until Ty finds out
what's actually gonna happen,
306
00:10:37,575 --> 00:10:40,379
there's nothing
we can do, right?
307
00:10:40,380 --> 00:10:42,050
Medallion, you're all right.
308
00:10:42,150 --> 00:10:43,820
Well, now that
I see what we're up against,
309
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:45,056
I'm into the challenge.
310
00:10:45,156 --> 00:10:47,026
I can't let
that know-it-all win.
311
00:10:47,027 --> 00:10:49,231
Maybe the fact that we know
something is gonna happen
312
00:10:49,331 --> 00:10:52,772
is what will allow us to break
him out of that thing happening.
313
00:10:52,872 --> 00:10:54,140
I say we tie him up...
314
00:10:54,141 --> 00:10:55,309
No objections.
315
00:10:55,476 --> 00:10:57,046
and put him
on a bed covered in pillows.
316
00:10:57,146 --> 00:10:58,349
Ooh.
317
00:10:58,449 --> 00:10:59,986
What if he rolls
over and smothers himself?
318
00:11:00,086 --> 00:11:01,121
Ohh!
319
00:11:01,255 --> 00:11:03,292
Hah!
320
00:11:04,663 --> 00:11:05,597
Aah!
Aah!
321
00:11:05,697 --> 00:11:07,167
Whoa!
322
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:09,672
Is it possible we're
doing more harm than good here?
323
00:11:09,673 --> 00:11:11,809
You're right.
I'm so stupid.
324
00:11:11,910 --> 00:11:14,716
It was obviously fate for us
to know that Dad is gonna die,
325
00:11:14,816 --> 00:11:17,053
which means us being here
is a continuance of that fate,
326
00:11:17,153 --> 00:11:19,559
which means that our best bet
for breaking that fate
327
00:11:19,659 --> 00:11:21,696
is to leave Dad alone.
328
00:11:21,796 --> 00:11:24,034
Unless that's
also part of fate.
329
00:11:24,134 --> 00:11:25,704
Want me to ask the medallion?
330
00:11:25,838 --> 00:11:27,440
No! Dad, stand
in the center of the room.
331
00:11:27,541 --> 00:11:28,844
Don't touch anything.
332
00:11:28,944 --> 00:11:30,748
Don't eat anything
and don't say anything.
333
00:11:30,848 --> 00:11:33,018
Got it.
Help me on with this, will you?
334
00:11:33,019 --> 00:11:35,490
What? No.
Don't put that on.
335
00:11:35,625 --> 00:11:37,160
Ah, kinky.
336
00:11:37,260 --> 00:11:39,064
We'll be right outside.
337
00:11:39,164 --> 00:11:41,869
Good-bye,
training wheels.
338
00:11:41,870 --> 00:11:42,905
He's awake.
339
00:11:43,005 --> 00:11:44,241
Right on schedule.
340
00:11:44,341 --> 00:11:45,711
You really
expect me to believe
341
00:11:45,811 --> 00:11:47,247
you planned for me
to knock you out?
342
00:11:47,380 --> 00:11:49,251
I didn't plan it,
but it was fated to happen.
343
00:11:49,351 --> 00:11:51,122
I know something else
that's fated to happen.
344
00:11:51,255 --> 00:11:53,293
Either you tell me
what happens to my husband,
345
00:11:53,393 --> 00:11:54,796
or I pull off all your limbs.
346
00:11:54,896 --> 00:11:56,833
While it's true that
you could pull off my limbs,
347
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,771
causing me intense pain
348
00:11:58,871 --> 00:12:01,810
and a lifetime of needing
to be helped to the toilet,
349
00:12:01,943 --> 00:12:03,647
torture is not, in fact,
350
00:12:03,747 --> 00:12:06,452
what causes me to spill
the secret sauce here.
351
00:12:06,553 --> 00:12:07,654
Then what does?
352
00:12:07,755 --> 00:12:09,123
Because I'm not flirting
or seducing you.
353
00:12:09,124 --> 00:12:10,528
You'll have to do
nothing of the sort,
354
00:12:10,628 --> 00:12:12,397
my apple-bottomed goddess.
355
00:12:12,497 --> 00:12:13,767
All that's required
356
00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:15,737
is for you to answer
a few simple questions.
357
00:12:15,871 --> 00:12:17,006
Fine.
358
00:12:17,107 --> 00:12:18,343
Do you remember
the day we went
359
00:12:18,443 --> 00:12:19,980
to that little seaside village?
360
00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:21,984
Yes, John.
I do remember that day.
361
00:12:22,084 --> 00:12:24,488
And we danced
as the sun went down.
362
00:12:24,623 --> 00:12:26,593
Your mother was such
a great dancer.
363
00:12:26,693 --> 00:12:27,862
Do you still dance, Deedee?
364
00:12:27,996 --> 00:12:29,031
Deedee?
365
00:12:29,131 --> 00:12:30,333
You are
on thin ice, John.
366
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:31,737
Just go with me, Deedee.
367
00:12:31,870 --> 00:12:33,205
Yes, Deedee.
Go with him.
368
00:12:33,305 --> 00:12:34,909
So you remember
the village,
369
00:12:35,009 --> 00:12:37,313
and do you remember
what you told me on the beach?
370
00:12:37,414 --> 00:12:39,886
I believe I said it was
the greatest day of my life.
371
00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:41,222
Good memory,
372
00:12:41,322 --> 00:12:43,727
and do you also remember
saying you loved me?
373
00:12:43,827 --> 00:12:45,262
Yes, I remember
saying that,
374
00:12:45,263 --> 00:12:47,635
and I remember you telling me
you knew I would say it,
375
00:12:47,769 --> 00:12:49,071
and then I remember you knowing
376
00:12:49,171 --> 00:12:50,908
that the waiter
was going to spill your wine.
377
00:12:51,041 --> 00:12:52,678
He's been doing
the spill-predicting bit
378
00:12:52,812 --> 00:12:53,981
for that long?
379
00:12:54,081 --> 00:12:55,517
People spill wine a lot.
Enough.
380
00:12:55,617 --> 00:12:57,286
I'm driving
the conversation here
381
00:12:57,387 --> 00:12:59,358
because that's exactly
what happens--
382
00:12:59,491 --> 00:13:01,228
I drive the conversation.
383
00:13:01,361 --> 00:13:02,497
Fine. Drive.
384
00:13:02,631 --> 00:13:04,367
So you admit
that you remember
385
00:13:04,535 --> 00:13:06,706
the "I love you,
John Fate" part.
386
00:13:06,807 --> 00:13:07,975
What do you
want me to say?
387
00:13:08,075 --> 00:13:09,512
I loved you once,
and then I didn't.
388
00:13:09,612 --> 00:13:10,814
Now we're
getting somewhere.
389
00:13:10,914 --> 00:13:12,717
You loved me,
and then you didn't,
390
00:13:12,718 --> 00:13:14,688
but how could that happen?
391
00:13:14,689 --> 00:13:16,793
How could love just go away?
392
00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:18,095
You're a Fate.
393
00:13:18,229 --> 00:13:19,799
You should know
it happens all the time.
394
00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:21,669
I'm not asking you
if it happens.
395
00:13:21,803 --> 00:13:23,607
I'm asking you how.
396
00:13:23,707 --> 00:13:25,176
Well, I don't know.
397
00:13:25,276 --> 00:13:28,049
So if you don't know,
if love can just disappear
398
00:13:28,149 --> 00:13:31,021
like that for no explainable
reason that even a goddess
399
00:13:31,122 --> 00:13:33,827
can comprehend,
then it's not reliable,
400
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:35,864
which can only mean
that the love
401
00:13:35,964 --> 00:13:39,171
you think you feel for Shlub
cannot be trusted.
402
00:13:39,271 --> 00:13:42,077
Why,
I suppose it can't.
403
00:13:42,210 --> 00:13:44,448
That's what I wanted
to hear you say.
404
00:13:44,582 --> 00:13:46,018
Shlub dies at sunrise.
405
00:13:46,118 --> 00:13:48,122
He's partying on a pontoon boat,
406
00:13:48,222 --> 00:13:50,694
and he falls, gets tangled
in a fishing net,
407
00:13:50,794 --> 00:13:53,032
and drowns,
but you can't change that.
408
00:13:53,132 --> 00:13:54,468
Falls off a boat
and drowns?
409
00:13:54,569 --> 00:13:56,573
But that would mean
he gets out of his room.
410
00:13:56,673 --> 00:13:58,208
Let's go. Mum, are you coming?
411
00:13:58,309 --> 00:14:01,449
Your mother has something
pretty heavy to think about,
412
00:14:01,583 --> 00:14:03,186
real insightful stuff.
413
00:14:03,286 --> 00:14:05,423
I was playing you,
you idiot.
414
00:14:05,524 --> 00:14:07,996
OK, if you say so.
415
00:14:08,129 --> 00:14:10,099
Ah, hello, friend.
416
00:14:10,199 --> 00:14:13,171
Would that I could,
but I've made a promise to stay.
417
00:14:13,172 --> 00:14:15,109
Then again, what's a life
418
00:14:15,110 --> 00:14:19,384
where I'm not free
to follow butterflies?
419
00:14:21,088 --> 00:14:23,493
Am I torn apart
by a big animal?
420
00:14:23,594 --> 00:14:24,762
Little animal?
421
00:14:24,862 --> 00:14:26,298
Oh, wait, little animals.
422
00:14:26,431 --> 00:14:28,603
These are a little
specific, don't you think?
423
00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:30,006
I have my methods.
424
00:14:30,106 --> 00:14:32,812
Am I gonna trip on a sword
but not fall into it
425
00:14:32,912 --> 00:14:34,882
and instead fall
on a poison snake?
426
00:14:34,982 --> 00:14:36,819
But am I on the right track?
427
00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:38,724
Is it one of those
super complicated deaths
428
00:14:38,824 --> 00:14:40,561
or one of those mislead deaths?
429
00:14:40,661 --> 00:14:42,865
OK. Now we're getting somewhere.
430
00:14:42,999 --> 00:14:45,236
How many more
questions do you have?
431
00:14:45,370 --> 00:14:46,806
15?
432
00:14:50,279 --> 00:14:51,480
Huh!
433
00:14:57,794 --> 00:14:59,632
Oh, no. Shlub!
434
00:14:59,765 --> 00:15:01,001
What was
that explosion?
435
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:02,872
That stupid
fate medallion.
436
00:15:02,972 --> 00:15:04,542
We killed Dad.
No, you didn't.
437
00:15:04,642 --> 00:15:06,345
You don't know.
You weren't here.
438
00:15:06,479 --> 00:15:08,650
No. He doesn't die
in an explosion.
439
00:15:08,750 --> 00:15:09,752
That's good news.
440
00:15:09,852 --> 00:15:11,055
He drowns.
441
00:15:11,155 --> 00:15:12,891
He's partying
on a pontoon boat and drowns.
442
00:15:12,991 --> 00:15:14,194
Less good news.
443
00:15:14,327 --> 00:15:16,798
We got to get
to the harbor!
444
00:15:23,580 --> 00:15:25,584
Well, well, well.
Look who's not here.
445
00:15:25,684 --> 00:15:27,788
You said
he was on a pontoon boat.
446
00:15:27,889 --> 00:15:29,659
This is the only
pontoon boat there is.
447
00:15:29,759 --> 00:15:31,395
On the water, sure.
448
00:15:31,495 --> 00:15:32,698
Ha ha ha!
449
00:15:32,798 --> 00:15:33,700
Shlub!
450
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:34,936
Family!
451
00:15:35,036 --> 00:15:37,440
Dear lord! Ooh!
452
00:15:37,541 --> 00:15:38,677
Agh!
453
00:15:38,810 --> 00:15:39,946
Oh!
454
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,316
So, Deliria,
will you marry me?
455
00:15:44,922 --> 00:15:46,057
Agh!
456
00:15:46,058 --> 00:15:47,360
Deliria and Tyrannis: Shlub!
457
00:15:47,828 --> 00:15:49,197
Uh-uh-uh.
458
00:15:49,331 --> 00:15:51,234
If you just fly over there,
everybody dies.
459
00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:54,675
It's actually pretty spectacular
if you want to give it a try.
460
00:15:54,676 --> 00:15:56,712
I mean, you don't.
461
00:15:56,713 --> 00:15:59,819
He said he drowns,
but clearly he's impaled.
462
00:15:59,919 --> 00:16:01,220
Yeah. Well, yeah.
463
00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:03,627
He's impaled now,
but as he loses his strength,
464
00:16:03,727 --> 00:16:05,731
his head sinks into that bucket,
465
00:16:05,864 --> 00:16:07,500
and that's what ends up
getting him.
466
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:08,703
He's not dead yet?
467
00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:10,239
No, but you don't
make it in time.
468
00:16:10,339 --> 00:16:11,676
Come on.
What are we missing?
469
00:16:11,810 --> 00:16:12,811
If we're missing it,
470
00:16:12,945 --> 00:16:14,280
it's fate that we're missing it.
471
00:16:14,281 --> 00:16:16,118
He knows everything,
and it's all predetermined.
472
00:16:16,251 --> 00:16:18,221
But what if we knew
what was predetermined
473
00:16:18,222 --> 00:16:19,692
as it was being determined?
474
00:16:19,826 --> 00:16:22,998
Then we could determine
a new path, one where Dad lives.
475
00:16:23,098 --> 00:16:24,535
To do that,
we'd have to be a Fate.
476
00:16:24,635 --> 00:16:26,138
There has to be
some kind of loophole here.
477
00:16:26,238 --> 00:16:28,777
There's no loophole,
I assure you.
478
00:16:28,910 --> 00:16:30,279
I can't believe it.
479
00:16:30,380 --> 00:16:33,452
I can't believe
this is how I lose him.
480
00:16:34,855 --> 00:16:35,991
Wait a minute.
481
00:16:36,091 --> 00:16:37,427
What was that earlier
about sneezes?
482
00:16:37,528 --> 00:16:38,729
That the third one
is annoying?
483
00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:41,035
He's not wrong.
484
00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:42,704
No, that
they're unpredictable.
485
00:16:42,838 --> 00:16:44,608
Right, and I know
something else about sneezes.
486
00:16:44,609 --> 00:16:46,444
If you don't close your eyes
when you sneeze, they pop out.
487
00:16:46,445 --> 00:16:48,248
That's not just a myth?
488
00:16:48,249 --> 00:16:49,885
It is not a myth,
and don't ask me how I know
489
00:16:49,985 --> 00:16:51,320
unless you want to get
into a whole thing
490
00:16:51,321 --> 00:16:53,594
about medical ethics,
which I don't.
491
00:16:53,727 --> 00:16:54,628
I'm not asking.
492
00:16:54,762 --> 00:16:55,931
You shot me a look.
493
00:16:56,031 --> 00:16:57,067
Mom, can you rustle up
some pepper?
494
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:58,402
It makes people sneeze.
495
00:16:58,537 --> 00:17:00,206
You know a lot
about sneezing.
496
00:17:00,306 --> 00:17:02,009
I did a deep dive,
and thank god I did!
497
00:17:02,010 --> 00:17:03,513
Mom, pepper!
498
00:17:03,647 --> 00:17:04,949
Here.
499
00:17:05,049 --> 00:17:06,920
The loss of blood is what
makes him lose consciousness,
500
00:17:07,053 --> 00:17:09,358
but it's really the water
in the lungs that--
501
00:17:10,594 --> 00:17:11,596
Got them.
502
00:17:11,729 --> 00:17:13,834
That's not
what's supposed to happen.
503
00:17:13,934 --> 00:17:15,436
You exploited the sneeze.
504
00:17:15,437 --> 00:17:18,108
Almost like
fate can be changed.
505
00:17:18,109 --> 00:17:22,116
Argus eyes out, Fate eyes in.
506
00:17:40,921 --> 00:17:41,823
Wait. What?
507
00:17:41,956 --> 00:17:43,793
Is it working?
508
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,135
I see
what I'm going to do,
509
00:17:48,236 --> 00:17:49,204
which means we can do
something else.
510
00:17:49,304 --> 00:17:50,941
Mum, take us that way.
511
00:17:52,477 --> 00:17:54,380
No, not a raptor.
The raptor crashes.
512
00:17:59,357 --> 00:18:00,628
Ty, what are you seeing?
513
00:18:00,728 --> 00:18:02,363
We get stuck
in the marketplace.
514
00:18:02,463 --> 00:18:04,067
Split up and take the alleys.
Mum, no flying.
515
00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:05,971
I have to do this
on foot like an animal?
516
00:18:06,071 --> 00:18:07,472
And this
is gonna work?
517
00:18:07,473 --> 00:18:09,110
We just know
the fated way doesn't,
518
00:18:09,244 --> 00:18:11,616
so we have to do things
exactly the way we don't.
519
00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:12,684
Let's go.
520
00:18:13,820 --> 00:18:15,155
OK.
521
00:18:15,289 --> 00:18:17,160
Stupe, right, right!
522
00:18:18,496 --> 00:18:20,834
It's working.
Our fates are changing.
523
00:18:21,001 --> 00:18:23,573
So do we save Dad?
524
00:18:25,076 --> 00:18:26,245
Not yet.
525
00:18:26,378 --> 00:18:27,982
We need to keep changing
our fates until we do.
526
00:18:28,082 --> 00:18:29,951
Hippo, take the alleys
instead of those stairs,
527
00:18:29,952 --> 00:18:31,321
and Stupe, get to the rooftop.
528
00:18:33,860 --> 00:18:35,396
Huh!
529
00:18:41,976 --> 00:18:43,145
Yah!
530
00:18:45,016 --> 00:18:46,118
Yah!
531
00:18:46,285 --> 00:18:47,587
Running
out of time here.
532
00:18:47,588 --> 00:18:48,890
I'm shuffling fates
as fast as I can.
533
00:18:48,990 --> 00:18:50,760
Hang on, Dad!
534
00:18:58,242 --> 00:19:01,882
Huh! Huh! Hngh! Aah!
535
00:19:11,068 --> 00:19:14,775
Ty, no. No.
No no no no!
536
00:19:14,909 --> 00:19:17,748
Noooooo!
537
00:19:21,121 --> 00:19:22,925
We did it.
He survives!
538
00:19:23,025 --> 00:19:25,163
Not today!
539
00:19:25,263 --> 00:19:27,834
And...
540
00:19:29,037 --> 00:19:30,439
What the--
541
00:19:30,573 --> 00:19:33,713
Oh, thank you.
I'm so lucky you were all here.
542
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:35,049
Mm.
543
00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:37,554
We were meant to be.
544
00:19:38,557 --> 00:19:41,393
Aha, leading me
into a pet shop,
545
00:19:41,394 --> 00:19:42,964
just as I knew you would.
546
00:19:42,965 --> 00:19:45,168
Dude, we know
you don't have your eyes.
547
00:19:45,169 --> 00:19:47,775
You think
I need my eyes to see fate?
548
00:19:47,875 --> 00:19:51,549
That reminds me, sorry
about stepping on your foot.
549
00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:53,218
There are
a lot of reasons I'm glad
550
00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:54,721
this guy isn't gonna be
our stepdad.
551
00:19:54,722 --> 00:19:57,326
You don't say.
Here are your eyes back.
552
00:19:57,459 --> 00:20:00,099
So, John Fate,
for the first time in your life,
553
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:02,804
you can't say you knew
that would happen.
554
00:20:02,904 --> 00:20:04,040
Are you kidding?
555
00:20:04,140 --> 00:20:05,476
I knew it would play out
just like this.
556
00:20:05,577 --> 00:20:07,347
What? Then why
did you say it wouldn't?
557
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:10,353
I had to try
because I was fated to try,
558
00:20:10,453 --> 00:20:12,592
and I knew I would fail,
but I also knew
559
00:20:12,725 --> 00:20:15,229
I would convince myself
that I wouldn't fail,
560
00:20:15,329 --> 00:20:17,500
which I knew wouldn't work,
but in addition,
561
00:20:17,601 --> 00:20:20,807
I knew that I would ignore
the voice in my head
562
00:20:20,907 --> 00:20:22,511
saying, "John, don't,"
563
00:20:22,611 --> 00:20:25,282
which I knew would
ultimately be my undoing.
564
00:20:25,383 --> 00:20:27,285
You're actually pathetic.
565
00:20:27,286 --> 00:20:29,390
You think
I don't know that?
566
00:20:29,525 --> 00:20:31,362
I don't think
it's pathetic at all.
567
00:20:31,462 --> 00:20:33,232
I think you're a true romantic,
568
00:20:33,332 --> 00:20:36,338
but if you ever try
to woo my wife again,
569
00:20:36,471 --> 00:20:38,108
I'll cut you to ribbons.
570
00:20:38,242 --> 00:20:40,980
I know,
and it hurts like hell.
571
00:20:45,557 --> 00:20:46,893
Where have you been?
572
00:20:46,993 --> 00:20:48,161
Nowhere. Just out.
573
00:20:48,261 --> 00:20:49,597
It was rhetorical.
574
00:20:49,598 --> 00:20:50,868
We know you were trying
to get back with her.
575
00:20:51,001 --> 00:20:52,436
So what if I was?
576
00:20:52,537 --> 00:20:53,673
Lachesis and Clotho: Ohh...
577
00:20:53,773 --> 00:20:55,309
Man, you got
to cut this off.
578
00:20:55,443 --> 00:20:57,781
It's never gonna work out
between you two.
579
00:20:57,882 --> 00:20:59,017
I can hope.
580
00:20:59,184 --> 00:21:00,452
I wasn't
stating an opinion.
581
00:21:00,453 --> 00:21:02,456
You die alone. He dies alone.
582
00:21:02,557 --> 00:21:04,562
Yeah. The middle
part's nothing special, either.
583
00:21:04,695 --> 00:21:06,297
The best is already over,
to be honest.
584
00:21:06,298 --> 00:21:07,868
Just stay out of it, OK?
585
00:21:08,002 --> 00:21:10,841
You're gonna have
a lot of other relationships
586
00:21:10,941 --> 00:21:12,745
in your life... fail.
587
00:21:12,912 --> 00:21:15,382
Yah! Yagh!
588
00:21:17,286 --> 00:21:20,527
Thank you.
I'll be in my room.
589
00:21:21,563 --> 00:21:23,599
Ugh, he's always
been like this.
590
00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:25,302
And always will be.
591
00:21:25,436 --> 00:21:27,807
Guess we just
drink it ourselves.
592
00:21:29,010 --> 00:21:30,713
He dies alone.
593
00:21:30,714 --> 00:21:32,717
Dan Harmon:
Did you get any of that?
594
00:21:35,055 --> 00:21:36,792
Bento.
42630
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