Original subtitles

When I was a child,

I'd talk to myself non-stop.

I'd sit in front of my parents' wardrobe mirror

and tell myself stories.

I didn't even realize that

my reflection never replied.

To me it was another person,

with a life as real as my own.

Then there was school.

I had to speak to others, a bit,

but it wasn't like with the mirror.

Then there was Pierre.

Him, I wanted to talk to.

I wanted to hear him.

I needed that exchange.

So when he left after his father was transferred,

there was nothing, no talks, no reflections.

There were only books and authors,

and characters in films.

Because real people

are so disappointing, don't you think?

So what are we? Fake people?

We're different, Didier.

- What do you mean? - We're different.

You're my neighbors.

And neighbors aren't real?

No! Neighbors aren't real people.

What statistics include neighbors?

You can't think of any.

They don't fit into any category.

It's not a socio-economic entity,

nor a professional or ethnic group. It's nothing.

Tell her we're real if you want seconds.

Chloé?

EVERY JACK HAS A JILL

Isn't it a bit much?

World stability, humanity, they'll know I didn't write it.

- You've the humanity of an oyster. - Thanks.

- OK, I'll re-write it. - Yeah, please.

That machine...

Here Chloé, you'll cover Pharmacom.

Really?

Your article on GBTH was great.

You get your Brussels tickets, OK?

Chloé can't handle that.

What was that?

She's not much of a traveler.

- Why? Is she scared of planes? - No.

She's a bit weak in some areas.

Airplanes, phoning, love.

Not good at love?

Utterly useless.

That's sad.

A little.

You do know I'm here, right?

You're pathetic!

I've never had such a pathetic husband!

You've never been married before!

If I've only had you,

it's because you've turned me off having others!

Even at the start of our relationship.

What are you talking about?

Coming!

Sorry, I can't read your writing.

What's this?

Small red suitcase.

- You should've kept it with you. - I know.

I'm afraid the rack will open and it'll fall and knock me out.

That scares you?

It is dangerous after all.

There you go.

Food trays scare me.

Them knocking you out?

No, them poisoning me.

I'm scared of ATMs too.

Don't know why.

Me too! That's funny.

Things without people.

Faxes... telephones...

Phones have people.

Yes, but those voices...

Where do they come from?

At work,

my colleague Josée makes calls for me and follows leads.

And in exchange, naturally,

I write her articles.

- Am I babbling? - Yes.

Passport?

Two hours to get home in the rain.

Get a rain poncho.

No way!

Doesn't he work nights?

Yes.

We're still trying for a baby.

He pops by when I'm ovulating.

We've no time to lose, I'm 38.

See you later.

I'll get the...

It's the leftover meat pie.

And my fish?

Is the fish dead?

Didier says I overfed it.

You killed my fish!

Good news. We got your bag.

I signed for it.

The guy didn't want to hand it over.

But I'm very convincing...

What's that?

- Isn't that your suitcase? - No.

That's not my suitcase.

I come for my fish, I get a suitcase. What's up?

Fish bring the evil eye.

I'm going to bed.

Chloé.

What?

A strange suitcase is bad luck.

Don't open it.

I'm calling about a bag you sent that isn't mine.

Hello, baggage service. Josiane speaking.

Hello?

Hello!

Yes, Mrs. Klein,

Pharmacon is quite unique, I know.

But the idea of linking up in a world as competitive as pharmaceuticals,

can be a pitfall.

And this pitfall...

I want some.

It's so good.

I'll do anything. Give me some.

What? The baggage service?

Plus, I'll finish your article.

It's a deal.

Pedro, which 3 videos make a woman 100% compatible?

"28 Days Later", "The Grudge", "The Descent".

- You want a psychopath. - Sure...

Can't women like horror films?

Total crap.

What do you like, Chloé?

Imagine, when I got back from Brussels my suitcase was lost.

They sent another by mistake, which wasn't mine.

And?

I opened it.

So what?

Are you thick? A suitcase tells more about someone than a DVD.

Nothing's better than a DVD.

Were there DVDs in it?

Were there?

The craziest thing,

my book, "100 Years of Solitude",

know it?

It was in his suitcase! In English.

That's not chance.

I'll leave you to your silly games.

I've somebody's life to explore.

- She's full of herself. - She sure is.

Hold it.

"28 Days Later", "The Hills Have Eyes",

"Jeepers Creepers".

It's pig sausage.

Pig sausage?

No,

you're the pig.

Got my article?

Look...

I came to write it last night, but I can't recover it now.

It's blocked.

It's OK, I found another solution.

You'll have to as well.

Find your American alone. I'll burn the Pharmacon report.

You'll start over... Make calls. Ask the same questions.

Scary, huh! Everyone will know Miss Chloé Mondoloni

is an impostor.

What the hell's going on?

Why's it blocked? Is it a virus? Who's responsible?

Nobody?

What?

- May I have more water? - Sure.

Suzanne asked me to invite you to lunch

for your birthday.

If you'd like to, of course.

I may not celebrate this year.

You can ask him to come.

Who?

I don't know...

It's just that...

we don't see each other much anymore.

Yes, I know. But...

I'm not accusing you, Chloé. I know, it takes two.

I worry that...

you're a bit like me.

Meaning?

You know, a misanthrope, a loner.

When your mother left,

and I wouldn't let anyone else in.

Remember the old ping-pong table?

After your mother, for years I played alone,

with the other end of the table raised.

Of course the balls bounced back,

but with no surprises.

I knew exactly where the ball would land.

So I looked for someone to return the ball.

Sometimes they were a bit weak,

or too violent.

Often they were too good or not good enough.

But at least, it was different each time.

What I'm saying awkwardly is living alone is a bit dismal.

I think we're meant to share our life.

So if you've found someone, I'm happy for you.

I'd even like to meet him.

I was all alone too,

and I lived in the same house as you.

We could've played together...

Ping-pong, I mean. You could've taught me.

I'd have returned the ball.

This looks like the place.

There's no Jack Zimmerman here. I'm almost certain of it.

You're really sure there's no Jack Zimmerman here?

What part of "certain" didn't you grasp?

The "almost".

You said "almost certain",

it left room for doubt.

There's no doubt. I know all that goes on here. It's my hotel.

Are you implying I don't know my job?

Good day, Mademoiselle.

What's wrong?

Just go.

You've still got the bag?

It's just as well. What would I have said?

"I love your suitcase"?

"I think you might be the one"?

That each day I love him more?

That he had to come to my birthday party?

He'd have freaked out.

I'll find a way...

He needs time.

He needs to get to know me

like I know him.

The fauna is abundant.

The Camargue is a magnificent game reserve.

Micheline!

The pig-sausage wants to talk to you.

Hello? Hi Chloé, it's Pedro.

You never returned the DVDs you rented,

but that's not why I called.

Myriam told me about the suitcase

it's not as good as DVDs for learning about someone,

but I admit it's not bad.

So I've been thinking, and here's my idea:

Put your name in the bag with your 3 favorite DVDs

and return it.

The message is clear. He'll know if you're compatible

based on the DVD Compatibility Theory which has a 89.7% success rate.

So see you around.

Oh la la! Now what is it?

What, oh la la?

I'm sick of your "oh la las"!

- Oh la la! Enough. - I've had it!

I'm fed up!

What are you doing?

You know damn well.

I'm suspended.

- Guess you got what you wanted. - I never...

I'm not so sure.

It's just that, I had an emotional problem...

You're not the only one.

- You have problems? - Yeah.

You're in your own little world.

You don't give a damn about others.

Is this yours?

Hand it over.

Permesso?

Permesso?

Here, Mr. Zimmerman.

Thank you.

So he left?

Who?

Your boyfriend. He left?

Is it the way you like it?

Yes, it's good.

He went back home to America.

But that was

a while ago already.

Describe him for us, so we get an idea.

OK...

He's not very tall,

but he's strong.

He protects me,

he's gallant.

For instance, when it rains he offers me his rain poncho,

even if he gets soaked.

We like the same things, even if we're very different.

It's funny, he's really good with computers.

It blows me away...

That's nice.

It's like he's opened my eyes to a world I'd refused see.

Because with him, everything seems possible.

I always feel like going out,

being with him,

even if I don't completely understand

or know him.

ME

I see why you wanted to keep the other one.

You owe me 237.

237 euros?

That's steep!

Sorry, I don't have it.

I was out of it.

I've no excuse, but I thought...

What? That you found your soul mate?

Josée? No!

Yes!

Don't count on me for DVDs.

You're washed up here.

What'll I do without films?

The films in your head won't do?

You could at least be grateful...

Yeah, we're grateful.

If you hadn't given me his number,

we wouldn't have met,

and fallen in love.

For that, we're truly grateful, right?

But otherwise, you're just too out there.

She's right, Chloé. You believe in perfect love,

but Hugh Grant visits prostitutes,

and Harry and Sally don't hook up.

In the real world,

she's blind and he's a bum.

There're no soul mates.

Nobody's perfect.

See what's happening to us.

The evil eye is...

Those eyes...

Didier and I will be childless and divorced,

you'll die of hunger when I'm forced to move to a dump.

Easy to blame someone else for your own problems.

I'm not blaming anyone!

I said "eyes", not someone.

An eye isn't someone? A neighbor isn't someone?

I'd like to know just who is someone to you!

I don't know, why don't you ask Chloé.

To her, "no one" is anyone and anyone's the man of her life.

No one's good enough for you.

Suddenly out of nowhere, this guy's the one.

Why is that?

Did you ever wonder why?

My favorite book Read it 37 times

My hidden talents

My superstitious neighbor

My boring boss

What I do best

Meet me on the 13th...

Will you be the shoe at my foot?

Wasn't it a huge scam organized by pharmaceutical firms like yours

to cover up the sale of expired drugs to Africa?

Mr. Peretz, I promise you'll remain anonymous.

The subject's hot. It could blow at any moment.

I sent it to print.

Nice work, Chloé!

Thanks.

Josée told me about your love life.

My love life?

Yeah... or rather the lack of one.

Which is, of course, much worse.

I wanted to say it doesn't bother me.

Actually, I mean it suits me.

It's just that,

I was wondering if...

You'd have dinner with me sometime?

I'm back!

It's a bit blurry.

Are you here for the ad?

Yes, for the ad.

Fine, I'll just get the paddles.

You're not here for the ad.

It's too much.

Yeah, it's too much.

What pretty flowers!

What a jerk!

- Pardon? - Nothing...

Out or I'll call the cops.

You know my name?

May I...

May I take a peek?

Why does he have a photo of my wife?

How many times must I say, Chloé gave it to him.

Yeah, OK.

- What? - You know.

No, I don't.

You've made it clear I'm clueless.

I don't like you not trusting me! I've put up with you 18 years,

so I think by now, you should realize...

Realize? Now I have to "realize"?

Yes, realize. Understand.

Use your brain.

Then you'd understand there's only ever been you.

You see, she's completely...

What gets me is that she's really...

beautiful.

Thanks, my love.

So I did an internship there,

and I just stayed on.

I slowly climbed the ladder,

and here I am.

In the end, I'm glad.

Because I didn't have the vocation to be a doctor.

Journalism is hands-on experience.

Getting your hands dirty, taking risks...

At the "Medical Monthly"?

No, white makes my head hurt.

Choucroute calls for white.

He's so cute.

Yeah, he's really cute.

He'd be perfect for Chloé.

Totally perfect for Chloé.

Too bad she's out with that guy.

We have to do something. She can't end up with him.

Enough about me, how about you?

How did you end up there?

My mother was... is a pharmacist.

I'd go there, to her pharmacy,

and I'd help her stock the drugs.

I was trying to spend time with her.

Later, after she left, I just went on doing it.

I'd go,

and learn the dosages, I liked that.

The smells, the neon, all those little drawers...

Perhaps I needed help,

to heal my wounds.

I don't know...

I'm quitting.

No!

Because I kissed you? That's silly.

And another thing.

I made the system crash, not Josée.

Stay a while...

We're good together.

I'm sorry, Jérôme.

Listen, Chloé... I don't want to lose you.

You never had me.

I'm pregnant.

Really?

Congratulations!

Triplets!

Three.

Three?

It was a bit of a shock,

but now, we're really happy.

So you'll be moving?

You're leaving?

Five would be a bit cramped here.

There'll always be a little place for you, however small.

What about the American?

You were right.

I dreamed of someone who wasn't real.

I decided to let him leave.

I let him go back home.

But now, I feel ready. All that's over and done with.

I'm ready for an ordinary relationship

with a normal man...

I'm ready to live with someone,

ready for the arguments, the problems...

I'm just ready.

I'm ready.

- Didn't you like him? - I did.

But...

What?

Yes?

No, nothing.

Nothing...

Adaptation by Pamela Grant

Subtitling: Vdm