Original subtitles

Homosexuality is a recent and rapidly growing

epidemic that poses grave threat to today's society.

In one of our studies, one out of two people

find the very thought of homosexuality

vulgar and frightening.

One never knows when the homosexual is about.

The homosexual disguises himself as a regular person,

carrying out the day-to-day tasks of regular citizens.

But don't be fooled.

Our research shows that the homosexual was sent directly

from hell, on a mission from Satan,

to destroy the very foundation on which

this great nation stands.

The ultimate agenda of the homosexual

is to give the entire world's population AIDS.

They are cunning.

They attack without warning.

You, too may be infected with the homosexual agenda

and not even know.

Here are some warning signs that you or someone you love

has been affected by the homosexual agenda.

Do you take pride in your appearance?

Have you ever incurred an injury while playing sports,

and rushed to your local hospital,

rather than walking it off?

Ladies, have you ever fantasized of anything other

than a natural life of loving servitude to your husband?

Gentlemen, do you prefer to take your car

to the mechanic, rather than spending hours in your garage

fixing it yourself?

Ladies, do you spend hours fixing your car,

rather than taking it to a mechanic?

The homosexual is a master of black magic.

Most citizens consider homosexuality more

harmful to society than adultery, prostitution,

and abortion combined.

The homosexual escapes the disapproving eye of society

by collecting in their own clubs, bars, and coffee shops.

Some have even been known to invade

whole areas of town, commonly known as gayborhoods,

or gay ghettos.

The homosexual is a promiscuous creature,

and is incapable of a lasting, loving relationship

with another human being, like that

of their heterosexual counterparts.

Be afraid.

Be worried.

Be on the watch.

Because the next homosexual you see could be coming for you.

Burbank, California.

Home to Warner Brothers Studios, Disney Studios, NBC

Studios, and a Bob's Big Boy.

A quaint suburb of bustling Los Angeles,

with a population of over 43 people.

Here is an average condominium in an average part of town.

An average looking door.

An average looking fountain.

Nothing out of the ordinary here.

Here we see photographs of two normal men,

living their lives like normal, everyday guys.

Ah, but what's this?

There is something different about these two

handsome fellows.

For it would seem that they are, in fact, homosexual.

That's right.

Two men who like each other, in a more

than friendly kind of way.

I like walked in, and I'm like, oh, yeah, this is really weird.

And then these two big arms came up behind me.

It was him.

And he had a drink in each hand.

He came and he wanted to give me a big hug.

And then we went upstairs, and we're going to go out, and tour

around the city that night.

We ended up just talking for hours, and hours, and hours.

And that was it.

I knew I was in love with him.

Love?

Hm.

I've been told homosexuals are incapable of feeling

such things.

They look normal enough.

But what goes on inside a homosexual household?

Come with us as we dive deeper into the mysterious world

of the homosexual.

But we met through Twitter, and talked

through the last two years, just kind of on Twitter and stuff.

And then finally, he-- he will say it differently

but he was the one that emailed me to ask me here.

I think he's like, you're cute, and something.

I don't know.

But, we start talking.

So he's the one that was stalking me, not the other way

around.

So it seems the homosexual stalks its mate

before devouring its heterosexuality

and converting him to his ways of the dark.

As the homosexual prepares himself

for a day of homosexual things, he puts in his special eyes,

and brushes his fangs.

Everything needs to be just right for the homosexual

to carry out his homosexual activities.

Did I mention he's a homosexual?

I'm Solly Hemus.

I'm from Pleasanton, California.

Definitely didn't come out till after high school.

So that was interesting.

Just growing up kind of knowing, but not

really being true to myself.

To me, I don't think anything sparked it.

It was just something I've always known.

Growing up, you get called names for being gay.

And I definitely had that experience as a kid growing up.

But what of other homosexuals?

Are there others like him?

And for a lot of people, I would

run into them on the streets.

And they'd say, you know what, you're the first gay guy I ever

really ran across, or knew.

And you're pretty amazing.

And you're really cool.

And you're just trying to help these straight guys.

We like you.

Or gay kids might come up to me.

And the best thing in the entire world, the best thing

about "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"

is when a young person comes up and says,

I was able to talk to my family about being

gay because of your show.

Because it created a dialogue in our house.

And we watched it together.

And my family was laughing, so I knew they

weren't hating on the gays.

But what about the parents?

Does a mother even know when her son is a homosexual?

Does she even have an inkling?

You know when he was two, I had an inkling.

Then my daughter was born.

And she-- I knew by the time she was probably around

16-months-old that she was gay.

The general population

refers to them as homosexuals.

But how do they identify themselves?

How do I identify myself?

No one's asked me that before!

I identify as a transgender male to female.

I guess-- am I supposed to be like a G, an L, a B or a T?

Or S, or a Q or an A?

There's an F as well.

Is there an F? What's the F for?

We just found out.

There's an F.

Is that for friend?

Fluid.

Fluid!

[DING]

Yeah.

Do I have-- no, I don't have any fluid.

Thank you, though.

I've heard about fluid.

They sound very interesting.

I am a big, fat G. Yes.

I'm as G as you can be.

I guess that was always something that really just

was hard for me to come to terms with,

because I didn't feel different.

I felt like I was just being myself,

and just being who I was, and never knew that there

was anything wrong with that.

I know I had such a different gay experience.

Like my whole coming out was positive.

When I figured out I was gay, it was OK.

And I know a lot of that just comes from the environment

and the place that I lived, which was in the Northeast,

which-- very accepted up there.

And my parents, and my family, and my friends.

And growing older, I just-- I was Matt.

And that's all I need to be.

How odd.

This family almost seems normal.

How did Matt come out to you?

Through me.

Actually, it was.

Yeah.

We were taking a ride and, Mom just told us that--

No, I told you.

--Told me that you were gay.

It was like, well, maybe we could cure

that with a pill or something.

That's not what you said.

I remember him saying, oh, I don't care.

I love him anyway.

He's like, first, stunned silence.

MATTHEW SMITH: No way!

I like this version.

It's interesting, right?

No, but, it was.

It kind of was like a shock at first.

MATTHEW SMITH: Was it? -OK.

Here's the crazy coming out story.

I turned to my mom and I said, you know, Kevin and I,

were more than just roommates.

We were lovers.

And she goes, I know, son.

What's for dinner?

Once I'd met Matt, I sat her down, told her, hey,

I met someone.

And the first thing she said was, thank God.

I thought you would be alone forever.

And I said to her, you know, like, Mom, just so you know,

I think I'm probably going to date a girl soon.

And she would say, no, no you're not.

And if we were out somewhere, I would

purposely try to let her know.

Like if I saw a woman that I thought was attractive,

I would say, Mom, that girl.

I think that girl is attractive.

Oh, Miranda, no.

So I was approaching 30, and I'm getting all this pressure

from my friends to just do it.

And now I've been hired to do a television show called

"Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,"

of which I'm basically one of the stars.

And there is a photo spread coming

out on the cover of TV Guide.

Which everybody in Allentown, including my parents,

receives in the mail.

So that's coming out on a Tuesday,

and now it's like Saturday.

And I'm like, I've got to tell my family.

So I had them pick me up at the train station.

We're driving in the car.

And thank God, there was like a torrential downpour,

and a thunderstorm.

And my mom was driving her minivan.

And I knew that if I told her right then and there,

she couldn't freak out, or we'd be killed in a car accident

because the driving was too treacherous.

So I told her, and she's like, OK.

Next.

So it was one of those scenarios where,

like, they kind of new all along.

Hello.

Wait so explain it. Wait.

Hold on. Explain it to me.

Because I thought you knew that I

was gay with my last boyfriend.

No.

No.

Cause you weren't that connected.

We weren't that connected.

But we slept in the same bed.

You did?

[SILVERWARE CLINKING]

Like most homosexuals,

Matthew works in the entertainment industry,

fashioning motion pictures one can see at their local cineplex

or drive-in.

And I was thinking about what I do making movies and media.

Like that's my way of expressing love for what I believe in,

and for the people I believe in.

I think everybody has their own way of showing, you know.

Or I guess everybody has their own way

of showing what they love, and showing who

they love that they love them.

And it all comes down to what you're talented at,

and what you're good at.

So if you're a good writer, write something.

If you're a good singer, sing something.

If you're a good mechanic, you know, fix cars.

I saw a really cool news piece from like, Georgia,

about some young gay kid who got beat up at college.

And his car got destroyed like four times in a month.

And this auto body shop, who I believe one of the owners

is gay, saw the story, and reached out to the kid.

And they built him a brand new car.

So it doesn't have to be, necessarily, something

in the creative field.

I mean whatever you're good at, there's a way to show

your support and your activism.

Equipped with the tricks learned

in Hollywood, the homosexual forces his agenda

upon an unsuspecting world.

And that's a problem I have with a lot

of the gay rights activists.

Is you can't expect every straight person to know what's

going on in the community.

Just like you can't expect someone from Cincinnati

to know what's going on in Philadelphia

every moment of the day.

It's like, everybody has their own problems.

Everybody has their own lives.

And I understand that, and I know that.

So that's what I mean when I say, like,

we have to change the fight.

I think we have to change it from a fight to talk.

We need to communicate with each other as people.

Because I know a lot of gay people

who get very upset when straight people don't know what's

going on.

And it's like, well, I don't know what's

going on the straight world.

Am I supposed to--

Get off your high horse.

Everybody needs get off their high horses.

The LGBTQ community needs to get off their high horse.

I need to get off my high horse.

Straight people need to get off their high horse.

Republicans, Democrats, everyone just needs to level.

Let's just get on a common ground and have a conversation.

Because that's really what needs to happen.

To me, being a straight ally is just

someone who tries to stand up for the LGBTQ community

when they can.

It's about eliminating casual homophobia

from your everyday speech.

It's about taking proactive steps, joining an organization.

Whether it's You Can Play whether it's

helping the Trevor Project, whether it's PFLAG,

whatever it might be.

There are so many numerous groups doing this work.

Taking active steps to show members of the LGBT community

that you support them.

You don't judge them on the orientation.

And I think it's important that we

have these straight allies speak out

because we are the majority.

Just statistically, there are more of us

than there are gay people.

And we need to stand up and let them know

that's not an issue for us.

Who could imagine a world

where normal people, and the homosexual, actually get along?

Pssh.

Not in this lifetime!

I'm Lamar Billups.

I'm 47 years old.

I grew up on the Gulf Coast of Mississippi.

Gay or straight?

I'm straight.

We had gay people in our family.

And there wasn't any-- we just-- the issue never came up.

The issue may never come up for you, Madame.

But how are the rest of us supposed to understand

how homosexual love works?

What don't I love about him?

I love every single fiber, every cell of that boy.

I mean he just makes me happier than I've ever been,

and I've been through hell and back.

And every day when I get home, or every morning

when I wake up, and he's there, it is just,

like, the biggest breath of fresh air.

And he makes me smile.

And laugh.

God, he makes me laugh so much.

I've never been happier.

Ever.

And I don't think that should be denied to anybody.

Happiness.

I don't think it's anybody's business who I date,

or who anybody dates, because love is love,

and happiness is happiness.

And that's what it really comes down to.

He said, I love you, Matt.

You're the love of my life, and you mean the world to me.

I love you.

Solly.

Cute stuff.

Thank you, silly.

For the flowers.

The ones that say, in your handwriting, Matt you're

the love of my life, and you mean the world to me.

I love you, Solly.

He forgot!

That was very sweet.

And you don't have any ugly carnations in there.

Well it seems like the world of the homosexual

is one big, happy place.

So what's the big frickin' deal?

And then-- this is when it gets really

good-- middle school happens.

And then you start getting called fag, faggot, sissy,

homo.

And that, you're just-- you have no safe place to go.

I mean, the thing about growing up gay,

and the thing about bullying, and the thing about feeling

like you're the only one.

If you're the only, like, black kid in your class,

you go home and odds, are your parents

are probably black, too.

And you can Identify with them.

And they say, don't worry.

We're here for you.

This is your safe place.

When you grow up gay, you don't have anyone to turn to.

Because you feel like you have this deep, dark secret

that if you tell anybody, the worst thing will happen.

They won't love you anymore.

So you can't tell your friends, and you can't tell your family.

You're too afraid to tell your teachers.

So you're really, really alone with it.

How was high school for you?

First half wasn't great.

Middle school sucked.

Elementary school sucked.

And that was just because people were bullies.

I blame parents for not raising their children correctly.

You were out in high school?

No.

Oh, OK.

But definitely made fun of.

Horrible time in school.

I'd go home crying all the time.

Like verbally?

Yeah, verbally.

Just verbal things people say.

Call me the F word.

Call me fag.

Call me-- call me a girl.

Call me, just anything to put it down,

and put me in a crappy place.

But I hated school because of it.

You know, because I did try to commit

suicide when I was real young.

I told my mom that I could understand how-- because I

also suffered from depression.

I told my mom that I could understand how

somebody could die of sadness.

I didn't look at suicide quite that way,

that it's selfish in taking your own life,

and that sort of thing.

I could see how somebody could be so sad that the alternative

was better.

Well, my mother passed away when I was like ten.

She had AIDS.

And my father's in prison.

But that next foster home I went to, I was there for six years.

That's when I wanted to kill myself.

That's when there was just-- that was it for me.

I was miserable every day.

I used to dread coming home from school because this man

he was the devil.

So yeah.

He did things.

Bad things.

I remember, like in seventh grade, going into the bathroom

when school would start and dry heaving,

and trying to throw up because I was so, like, nervous,

and scared, and freaked out.

But I didn't eat anything, so of course I couldn't do anything.

But I was just-- that's how, like, nervous I was.

Didn't necessarily have the greatest high school

experience.

I came out.

I didn't come out till my senior year of high school.

And so freshmen through junior year,

I think it was a little bit rough sometimes.

I would get made fun of for being

a pretty big tomboy a lot.

And I didn't have the best self esteem because of it.

As I was getting older and learning more things,

I kind of felt this emptiness inside of me

that I was-- it was just always this hole

that I was trying to fill.

You know, before it was like, OK.

I'm this person everybody made me up to be.

You know, I'm this person that lives

in these two separate lifestyles all my life.

I'm becoming that one person that they wanted me to become.

I'm becoming-- the way that they wanted me to walk,

I'm walking that way.

The way they wanted me to close a door,

I'm closing a door that way.

The way that they wanted me to do this in life,

I'm doing it that way.

The goals they wanted me to reach, I reached them.

But what do I want?

What makes me happy?

As I got older, and I really started

to feel more of, like, the loneliness, and more of like,

the desire to be in a relationship

that really fulfilled me, then I started having that battle.

And eventually the right side won.

All these thoughts started-- and I started

getting really upset about it.

And I'm thinking, why am I upset?

It's not like I didn't know.

But I think what was happening was

I started to get really afraid.

I'm thinking about people being bullied.

I'm thinking about AIDS.

I'm thinking about how is he going

to be treated as he grows up.

There's a lot of people that made fun of me

during school that are actually out now.

So I find that kind of funny.

Ah.

So with the odds stacked against him,

the homosexual must create an environment where he feels

safe and is able to flourish.

But I do get to be myself here.

And I get to be in projects and do

things that support the gay community,

rather than take away.

So why did you create this company?

What comes behind the company?

Was it more of the movie first than the company?

I don't know, Lamar.

What the hell were we thinking?

I have no idea.

I think it was just a moment of insanity.

We were introduced, actually, totally by accident.

Her sister, I knew, and she called me

and said you have to meet-- you have to meet my sister.

She's just going to love you.

You guys are going to be best friend's.

She does this, she does that.

Blah, blah, blah, and you're going to have dinner with her

in New Orleans-- which was two hours from where I was living

at the time-- tonight at seven.

So I showed up at the address at seven.

And Lamar opened the door and--

--didn't know who it was.

MATTHEW SMITH: Her sister didn't tell

her that we were having dinner.

One of the reasons we chose to do socially conscious themes

in our films is to try to give a little something back

to the community, and educate anyone who might

be curious, or maybe uncertain.

Just hanging out in the office, everyone's so accepting.

No one-- no one even thinks it's weird

if Matt comes up and kisses me, and hugs

me, and shows affection, which is

a weird thing in other places.

If they can know that there are allies, that there are places

and people that will accept them exactly as they are,

then that's good.

That might-- maybe we'll save a life somewhere.

I think like a lot of gay kids, you know,

I wasn't good at sports.

And I didn't really, like, fit in with a lot of the kids

at school.

So I kind of retreated into my own fantasy world

and became a dreamer.

And became artistic.

And really got into dressing up dolls,

and riding horses, and basically everything

that nine-year-old girls do, I was into.

But I do think that in a way, it's a blessing.

Because it allows you to pull back and really

focus on yourself, and become a dreamer, and daydream,

and create your own world.

I was able to get a great education

in the theater department.

It was a great experience.

I found other gay people.

And found that I wasn't alone.

At the time, didn't know what it was.

Didn't know how to deal with it.

So I just kind of dove into singing, and performing,

and doing what I love to do.

And the other thing that's really

something I'm passionate about is

I think a lot of the gay media, and the gay TV shows,

or the shows that have gay characters, the films,

they alienate themselves.

So what you have is this kind of problem where yes,

there are "gay films," and yes, there are "gay TV

shows," and "gay people."

But the problem is that they gear them towards one audience,

which is the LGBTQ audience.

And in doing so, they alienate all of the straight alliances.

I feel like the world is diverse.

I feel like art should be a reflection

of life and the world.

And I feel like it's about time that we,

as artists, stop saying, oh, the media is so bad.

It's so bad.

Yes, it's bad, but what are we going to do about it?

We are the reflection of it, so we

have to start putting out stuff that is a reflection of us.

Which is why I'm so excited about programs,

like the program that I'm involved in,

because it's giving that space.

If resources are allotted, and the space is given,

you will be amazed what comes from it.

I think the media, in depicting members of the LG--

I always get the initials mixed up.

I think that it's mixed.

That you have-- luckily we have people

like Jane Velez Mitchell, and people out there--

Anderson Cooper.

So it's just an understanding that there's nothing special.

You don't section things off and whatever.

I think that still, there's too much deliberate thought

that goes into it.

And I wish we could come back in 100 years or whatever

and see how things are going.

Unfortunately, the way the media spins things,

and even the politicians themselves spin things,

is that everything's fine.

I think the media does-- sometimes

it does a very, very good job.

Sometimes very, very accurate.

And sometimes really horrible and inaccurate.

I mean media is interesting in that way.

There's a lot of power, a lot of freedom.

And it can be used to do a lot of good,

but it can also be used to do a lot of harm.

You know, I think-- I think in general, it comes

down to the same kind of thing.

I think that it depends on who's pulling the strings

and who's paying checks.

I feel like the media is catered to one

specific audience, and that would

be white males, 18 to maybe 50.

I would say 45.

So that's the audience.

So everything is going to be geared towards that audience.

Gay people are portrayed as caricatures.

Like if they're gay, it's because that's the funny thing

about their persona.

And that's changing more now.

You're seeing more and more things

like that, that are people are just gay because they just are.

And that's great.

And it's great to see those portrayals.

In terms of media of gay people, like real life gay people,

I guess you're seeing it more.

Definitely like more actors and actresses are coming out.

And there's-- you know, I don't know.

I mean I think we're on-- more on the right road to get there,

but it's still hard.

So everything that's outside of that, you're not going to see.

And if you do, it's going to be skewed, because it's

coming from that perspective.

They never just portray a gay person as a normal human being

that happens to be gay.

They have to be super flamboyant, put an image

in everyone's head that if you're gay, you love unicorns

and marching in parades.

It appears that the homosexual's needs are much

the same as regular people.

The longing for companionship, love, and family,

seem to be strong desires.

Almost normal.

What would you think if I was trans?

MATT'S MOM: I would probably just buy you clothes.

Share clothes with you, or make up, or whatever.

Solly is adorable, and he's got his quirky sense of humor,

as does Matt.

I hope that they stay together, I

hope that as long as they're happy, and they get along,

and they're enjoying their lives, that's what's important.

If they want to get married, that's fine.

My daughter's thinking about it now.

She doesn't want to carry, but she definitely wants kids.

And she'd like to be related to one of her children.

For me, my girlfriend and I are absolutely

not planning on getting married until gay marriage is legal.

I mean, there's no-- I don't know how-- I don't know if I

would be able to feel OK about getting

married if my sister was not legally

able to do the same thing.

It just doesn't make any sense to me.

I feel the whole thing with political and the marriage

stuff, it's unfair, definitely, for the gay community

that they can't even get married.

But if you're straight, you can get married 20 times,

and have 20 divorces, and that's OK in the eyes

of the government, and the eyes of the church-going people

that are against us.

And it's unfair.

And I know it will change one day,

it's just going to be a process.

And I feel people need to understand we're human, too.

And it should be just-- it's a right.

I'm human.

I have rights.

I should be able to have the same rights as everyone.

Religion, I think is mostly man-made control systems

that people have put in place from,

maybe true spiritual things that have happened over the ages.

But I think people found a way to manipulate everybody

by saying, God wouldn't like this,

or you're going to hell for this.

Or if you're gay-- -Wait.

Keep going I found the funniest thing.

And my mind is I think there's a lot of truth in the Bible,

and all these religious doctrines.

I studied comparative religions and I was stunned by how

similar all their stories are.

Also similar in how they manipulated

the stories to control people.

So in my mind, all the doctrines say

that God made man in his own image, and woman, or whatever.

MATTHEW SMITH: Can I read you the funniest thing ever?

Yes MATTHEW SMITH: This is great.

I found--

Yeah, and his own image,

then they're gay people, so.

Mhm.

Let me read you the funniest thing ever, OK.

So this is the various things the Bible bans.

OK.

Leviticus 19:27 bans shaving.

Leviticus 19:16 bans gossip.

Exodus 28 bans football on Saturdays.

Leviticus 11:10 bans eating lobster.

Leviticus 11:7 bans eating pork.

Leviticus 19:19 bans cotton polyester blends,

so we're all going to hell.

And Leviticus 15:19 bans associating with women

who are having their periods.

I still am a Christian, and I still believe

in God, and all that stuff.

But I really do think that we're put here for a reason

and we're made in His image.

And there's no reason why we should feel

like we can't be who we are.

I love God.

I'm so spiritual.

I listen to my gospel music, I read my Bible.

I didn't think I would ever get married, or ever have children,

but as soon as we met, like, I think we were already talking

about that a week into it.

So I guess we're for marriage now.

All right, I could see that happening.

So I'm totally for it.

I think if you want to get married and have children,

have children, get married.

Whatever you want to do.

It's a weird seeing two moms and a kid.

It's weird seeing two dads and a kid.

It's really, really strange, I mean, just because of the way

our culture defines traditional parenting.

It's bizarre.

I mean, it's the same thing I think that people went through,

and maybe still go through in certain areas,

when they see a black man and a white woman,

or a black woman and a white man with a child.

There is that-- there's that feeling I'm

not comfortable with this.

This is weird.

This looks funny.

Marriage?

Children?

The homosexual cannot create a healthy family environment

without the use of black magic.

And now they're trying to poison the sacred institution

of marriage.

Ah, marriage.

The age old institution between God, a man,

and, uh, um, uh, I don't even know anymore.

The Bible says there's a lot of things

you can't be and can't do.

There's a number of different ways

to look at a lot of those passages.

There are books, written by people that are much smarter

than me, that go into great detail

on how to read those passages in different ways.

We can understand those passages.

And certainly if you look at a literal understanding

of a word on a page, that might be what it says.

But I know there's a lot of people that eat shellfish, too.

And that's a shame.

There's a lot of people that have tattoos.

Under this collar, I've got a couple tattoos as well.

So there's a number of things that the Bible says,

but there's a big difference between what the Bible says,

and what the Bible means.

And so we have to be very careful to understand

those different ways of reading the Bible

and understanding what the Bible actually says.

When you walk into a place, and you see other gay couples,

you see lesbian couples, you see two moms

and some kids, two dads and some kids,

it just changes everything.

It changes your whole perception of what church can be.

Wait, but being gay, I thought God hates us.

And we're not allowed to even touch a Bible.

Yeah, I know.

That's the--

That's the one down the street.

That's the church down the street.

You know, if you guys ever get to the point where you start

talking about marriage and being really seriously together,

unfortunately, in California, we can't do that but there's--

New Jersey can.

New Jersey, you can.

There seems to be a little bit of a groundswell happening.

And so as that spreads, and as that

gets gaining some momentum.

Well it's so funny because we were ready to get a place.

We're look-- we started looking, actually,

last weekend, finally, again.

And it's been a combination of a couple different factors

but it's really-- like to me, it's the biggest test

that he's been able to live with my family, and he's still here.

I mean, you see that much dirty laundry, and you're still

sticking around, that's--

So there are certain states where the homosexual

can be legally married.

There are also states where an employee

can be terminated simply because of their sexual orientation.

Here is a very real example.

"Dear Former Employee,

Due to your recent decision to disclose

your sexual orientation, it is within our rights

to release you from your employment immediately.

Sexual orientation is not currently

protected from employment discrimination

under Federal law.

Since your choice of lifestyle is in stark opposition

to the values of this firm and its employees,

we've decided to release you from your position

effective on receipt of this letter.

Thank you for your understanding."

Two years ago, we had some banners

on our fence line supporting marriage

equality that got vandalized.

People kind of cut out the word "equality" and said,

we believe in marriage.

And so we replaced those banners.

And those banners got vandalized.

And so our message to the community, at that point,

was that you can cut the word "equality" out of our banner,

but you'll never be able to cut the message out of who we are.

That we will support marriage equality.

If everybody just stopped caring so much

about what two people do alone for maybe like,

what, ten, 20 minutes at night.

Like, who gives a crap?

Why are we making this a political issue?

It's not an issue for straight people to go around thinking,

I'm straight. I'm straight.

I'm straight.

Gay people don't go around thinking, I'm gay.

I'm gay I'm gay. -Right.

No, that's what I've always said, but--

So why do straight people think that gay people

are making a political statement just being who they are?

I guess I'm kind of like what you'd

call an accidental activist.

I kind of-- I didn't have a problem.

I don't know what the right way to put it is.

I didn't understand my feelings about LGBT activism,

I think, as a kid, and even as a teenager.

Like I felt, actually, almost a little repelled by it.

But it wasn't because I didn't believe in it,

and I wasn't secretly really grateful to know

that there were people out there who were fighting for me.

And not just me, but everybody in the community.

But I think there was something a little off-putting about it.

And that's why I felt that sort of-- I

hate to use the word repell-- but it

was sort of like I was repelled, not

just towards activists, but other-- even

gay guys and stuff.

And a lot of people say, oh, it's because maybe you

were self-loathing.

But I wasn't self-loathing.

What I kind of ended up figuring out that it meant

was how I feel now.

Which is sort of a more mature version of what I was feeling

when I was younger, which is that it's

just the old methods of activism were what turned me off.

And it's that militaristic sort of almost,

aggression, that comes along with a lot of the almost-- I'd

say like 1960s style of activism,

that really I don't feel is effective.

Because it's like--

I mean, if you think about it.

If something really annoys you, or bothers you,

and I'm talking about the people who are very

against the LGBT community.

If something really annoys you or repels you,

what's going to make you more annoyed?

It's like, when it's in your face and constantly just there,

and it almost doesn't give you a chance to breathe.

And I feel like that what's happening now

is it's sort of maturing.

And especially with social media,

and social media activism.

There's just a new way to have this fight.

And the fight is becoming smarter.

And it's more about showing that we're part of,

and not separate than.

And I think that's one of the biggest problems

that a lot of the groups have.

Whatever they're fighting for is creating

this separation, when in reality, we all just

want to be loved and embraced.

It seems the homosexual has much to lose,

simply by being open about their sexuality.

I knew I was gay from the time I was about five.

Now, you have to remember we don't know what the word means.

And we don't know that it means sexuality.

We don't know what our parts do.

And that's why I get so upset when they challenge us

when we say we know.

Like, how did you know at five, you

want to have sex with a man?

And it's like, no, no, no.

It's not about sex.

It's about an innate attraction, a connection.

You can't put your finger on it.

It's there.

I knew when I was really young that I wanted to be around men.

And I remember being three and four and drawing.

i remember my mom used to do crafts up in this little room.

I would draw pictures.

And I drew a picture, once, of a naked guy.

And she was like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, we don't need to draw naked people.

So instead, I came up with this cartoon,

a comic called Butt Man.

And it was all-- you just had their heads, and then, like,

they had big butts in the front, instead of

what should be in the front.

So it was Butt Man and Butt Woman.

And I did this whole thing.

But I was kind of fascinated with the male form,

I guess, in whatever way, when I was a child.

When he was about two, I realized that there was

a good chance he may be gay.

It could have something to do with the fact

that he wanted to be a carrot when he grew up.

He wanted to be a carrot.

I asked him, what do you want to be when you grow up.

And I'm expecting fireman, cowboy.

He wanted to be a carrot.

And I'm like, no.

There's no future in carrot.

You'll end up in a soup or something,

or a rabbit will eat you.

And then he kind of got over that.

And then-- and I have no idea what he meant by that.

It was just a silly thing to say.

He was always like a little-- little wise ass, I guess.

Coming up with strange things to say.

But I noticed that, I don't know.

He just seemed to be different.

Not different, like, in flamboyant.

I mean, he was two.

But he just had a different sensitivity about him.

Like he could kind of read my mind, it seemed to me.

He could talk.

He was very-- he didn't talk baby talk.

He pretty much talked like-- his voice, of course,

was a baby voice.

He sounded--

He would ask me things like, Mommy, what is God?

When I was up in the sky with-- he says, in the castle.

And we never really were church goers, basically.

Very spiritual, I'd say, but not church goers.

So I don't know where he got this stuff basically.

But it was funny.

And then he liked to-- he liked to draw.

He liked to paint.

He liked to dance.

He liked to sing.

And it just seemed to me that his attention

wasn't going towards the typical male stereotype.

Like I had grown up with two brothers,

and it was totally different energy about him.

But that was fine.

And I even told his father.

I said, you know, there's a really good

chance that Matt might be gay.

And he said, that's OK.

We'll just love him anyway.

Like as if there was a choice.

I knew there was something wrong with me,

but I just wasn't quite sure what it was.

But I knew the other little boys in the first grade

weren't into "The Six Million Dollar Man" like I was.

They'd be like, don't you love that show?

I'm like, I love Steve Austin.

So I definitely knew that I was different.

If someone said something, like when I was younger in school

or something, I would definitely-- I was

not a confrontational person.

So it would just hurt me, and I would cuddle off, and be upset.

But there's definitely times growing up

I would go home just crying.

Cry myself to sleep.

But I've found, as I've gotten older-- some of the people,

too, that I've grown up with, that I've-- have

said things like that.

Called me names, and different situations.

I still know them.

And I run into them.

I'm actually really good friends with this one kid

that definitely called me a faggot.

Or I couldn't even tell you how many different things

he probably called me.

He's one of my best friends now.

He's like a breath of fresh air.

He's awesome.

Solly, we all love Solly.

And when Solly's here, things actually--

Matt actually functions better when Solly's around.

And Solly kind of lights a fire under his ass,

and motivates him more, I think.

And that's the difference.

Matt couldn't function as highly as he is now.

Like, he couldn't work as hard as he is now.

He couldn't be here as much as he wanted to be here.

And he was always dealing with so many conflicts

that he found himself having to walk out of the office

all the time.

I didn't see any difference in their relationship

to any straight relationship.

Actually, I found myself relating a lot.

I've worked with people that I dated before,

and it's the same thing you always see.

I mean, any people-- people in relationships,

you're talking about two human beings and their lives

coming together.

It's not gender specific.

Anyone who spends that much time together, it reveals a lot.

If you're spending every moment with someone,

all the little stuff starts to show.

I think being in a relationship with someone

reveals yourself to you.

I'm sure I've said stuff, too, to people.

It's just a weird, self-defense mechanism

that when you're lying to yourself for so long,

you just put up these walls.

And don't want to hear anything about what's really going

on in here, in your heart.

We were holding hands.

And what happens is, it's subtle.

And it's so weird, because it reminds me

of being in high school or middle school,

and having to hide myself.

Because we'll be really happy and just holding hands,

and then we'll see, maybe like, a really straight looking guy.

It never happens around women for me.

Or like maybe a group of guys.

And we've actually never talked about it,

but it's just very natural.

Like he'll do something funny, and then

we'll stop holding hands.

But we both know what's happening.

And it happens a lot.

Then we'll wait, they'll pass by, and we'll hold hands again.

And then I'll get nervous.

I'm like, oh my God what do-- you know,

we're this-- especially in crowds.

When there's more people, I find it

almost like I'm judging myself.

And that's something I'm still working

on with myself right now.

Because I love holding his hand.

I kiss him in public.

If we're at a restaurant, I'll kiss on the lips.

We're not making out, but you know, it'll be cute.

We'll hold hands.

And you can tell.

There are people who just don't care.

There are people who love it, and think it's really cute.

I don't find it weird at all when you guys do.

I mean, and you're straight.

Does it seem like, weird?

Because it's something in my head all the time

that I'm always wondering.

Like, what do people think?

I don't think it's weird.

You guys are together.

That's what together people do.

So I don't think it's weird at all.

I remember when you told me that you were, when I first started

here, and you told me you were.

And I was like, are you?

OK.

I had said-- that's shocking to me.

That you didn't know before that.

I've had like four employees that have said, what?

I had one guy who was completely, like, floored.

I'm like, really?

Because I think I'm the gayest thing that's ever

walked the earth, but OK.

I feel like I don't have to lie.

I just felt like it was just a big lie.

The last 20 plus years of my life is like a lie.

I did have a girlfriend.

I think the last one was high school.

High school, maybe after college for a little bit.

But-- No.

I think I still was struggling with accepting it.

I'm trying to think here.

It's just something, yeah.

I think part of me, maybe, wanted to be straight.

And I just let my emotions and my worries of what people

would think get in my way.

And that's what led me to waiting so long,

and not accepting it.

Like, that's a weird question, because I'm

trying to think I'm like-- that's always

something that you hear, too.

And I don't know.

I think if I played straight for my life,

then it would be horrible.

I don't think I would ever be happy trying

to keep up with the lies, and not being honest with myself.

I think it would run me down.

I mean, it's definitely something

you always hear is, you're gay.

It's-- your life's going to be a lot harder.

Which I've learned that that's not true.

It's a false thing to say to people.

You can be gay, and be normal, and life is hard for everyone,

so.

I remember showing up for Christmas.

I showed up on Christmas.

My uncle told me to come.

He said, don't worry about them.

And I was still a guy at this time.

And he said, just show up.

Don't worry.

They're not going to say anything.

They're going to be fine with it.

So I showed up.

And my grandmother, you know, 86-year-old woman,

she told me to get out.

And this is in front of everybody,

you know, all the family.

And she's like, get out.

Going to hell.

I know better than that.

And she prays that I dream something in the Bible.

Yeah, she told me I was going to hell, and I need to get out.

I just couldn't believe that.

Like, I showed up for Christmas, as the same person I was.

But she told me to get out.

And so these last couple of years, I've been by myself.

Because I don't have family to go to.

When I finally came "out," so to speak,

or just didn't give a flying whatever,

and brought my girlfriend home-- which was in 2006--

me and my mom got into a physical altercation.

She was really upset.

She kicked me out the house.

It was a really dark and a difficult time for me.

So she and I didn't speak for a very long time.

I was on my own, excuse me.

Out on the streets.

Luckily though, I was a resident assistant, so I

had a place to stay on campus.

But after school let out, I was basically homeless.

But one of my friends allowed me to stay with them.

And after about a year and a half,

she and I started talking again.

I think she just came to realize that I'm going to be who I am.

So me, Mr. Comfortable and super OK with everything, who

came out 15, was back in the closet within two years,

proverbially.

I mean, I had very close friends and family

I would tell about it, but there was this-- always this sort

of unspoken thing in town that you

can't be out and be gay or lesbian

and be a leading man or woman. You can't.

It just does not happen.

People are not accepting of it.

You could be funny, like Ellen.

And you could lose your career for ten years like Ellen,

and then kind of come back in this whole different version

of yourself.

But you just aren't going to work.

So I found myself, I mean, so stressed and so

overwhelmed just constantly.

Because then it's not just like, OK, I'm

going to go and audition with all

these other bros, who were always

like, oh, what's up, man.

It was, I'm going to have to act,

and then act on top of acting,

Both of my parents actually asked me.

I mean, like it wasn't-- I guess people

just always thought I was gay.

I don't know.

I mean, I guess it's the speaking voice,

or it's just being in the arts, or something like that.

It was just always a speculation.

But I think my parents were the most

important people that I really wanted to come out to, per say.

And they always-- they just asked because, I mean,

I was always just being who I am anyways.

I never wanted to cover up, or anything like that.

So they just asked me, I think, one day in the supermarket.

In the candy aisle, of all places.

So it's just kind of-- and it was,

I think, difficult at first for a parent to hear that.

But it wasn't anything bad.

I think that-- they finally felt like maybe a weight

lifted off of themselves.

That they didn't have to wonder anymore, or know.

And it was, I think, just really nice for them

to see me being who I was.

And it's been an amazing relationship ever since.

My dad has never been more loving in his life.

And they want me to be happy.

And I'm very--

I consider myself one of the lucky ones.

I guess that some people have very bad situations, where

their parents turn on them, or they're just shut out,

or they don't have anybody to go to.

And I was very lucky.

She called me one day and she says, so, is there

something you want to tell me.

And I said I don't know what you're talking about.

And she says, oh, my secretary was helping

me set up this AOL profile.

We found your profile, and I read

something interesting on it.

And I didn't know what she was referring to.

And she said-- she read it to me.

And it said, "Oh, I think I found the right one.

God, don't let me screw this up."

And that was my quote on my profile.

And so she says, so what does that mean.

And instantly, defense kicks in, and you shut it down.

And you said, nothing, Mom.

It's just a quote that I have on there, and that's it.

And she goes, are you sure you don't want talk about anything.

I said no.

Just boom.

Without even thinking.

It was just natural instinct to say, nope, and pass it off.

So we started talking about something

else for a couple of minutes.

And then I thought to myself, you know, she's asking.

She wants to know.

Now's the time to do it.

And so all of a sudden, midstream sentence

of an unrelated topic, I said, yes.

I do.

And I am.

And she said, what?

I said, yeah, I do have somebody in my life.

And yes I'm gay.

And she kind of was silent for a second.

And she said, I thought so.

Your dad and I thought so.

And that was about-- then we just started talking about it.

And she said, you know, the hardest thing

about this process of you being in the closet for me,

was that as your mother, I missed

out on half of your life.

I felt like my dad's non-involvement in the dance,

acrobatics, gymnastics, was more a comment on-- he

thought it was-- those were sissy things to do, too.

So once I started into diving, then

he got really, really involved.

And that was "OK."

And so it was hard.

Because I was trying to gain his approval through my diving.

And a lot of my diving came from a very desperate place.

I felt that if-- that I was only worthy of being loved--

my dad's love-- if I won.

It was-- receiving the silver medal

was kind of a public humiliation in front of the world.

That I failed.

And so that was really hard for a 16-year-old

to kind of take in.

And I did try and commit suicide after that, because I felt,

well there's no reason for me to be here.

And I'm not worthy of any of the praise that I'm getting.

So I wasn't allowing any of the good stuff to come in.

When I was a senior in high school, I told my dad.

I was like, um, so, I might be bisexual.

Just to ease into-- because I knew I wasn't bisexual.

It was just--

Trying to soften the blow.

Yeah, exactly.

And he just kind of shut down.

We didn't talk for a year.

Yeah.

But that was hard.

My mom, when I told her, she laughed.

She didn't believe it.

She didn't deal with it.

Like, we'd just kind of act like it never happened.

It was a pretty rough going in elementary school,

to the point in which I actually got beat

up by five boys in first grade.

And it just sort of went downhill from there.

To the point in which I missed about a year,

maybe a year and a half's worth of school

in total in my entire elementary school life.

From not going to school, form "being suspended"

because clearly, if I hit somebody back,

I deserve to be expended, too.

That was my childhood from first grade--

or from preschool to fifth grade.

It was fights, and bullies, and getting picked on

for being the only girl, being picked on for being black,

being picked on for being smart.

It was rough.

I really felt ashamed.

That what had happened, maybe, was my fault.

Because I really didn't have anybody to talk to about it.

What was it like at high school for you?

Like did-- was it ever-- like, what did people think-- you

went to Catholic school, right?

Like, I mean, did they-- what did they say about gay people?

They kind of shunned them.

In the '70s there was only--

They kind of put them aside.

Just like, nobody wanted to talk to them.

I can remember a couple.

MATTHEW SMITH: Were they shunned?

Yeah.

They were like, kind of like put in the corner.

Like people wouldn't talk to them

They didn't use the word "gay."

They used the word "faggots," basically,

or "freaks," or "sissies."

Until fifth grade, when I was talking

to my friend in the lunch line.

Her name was Nicole.

And this kid, Anthony, came up to me.

And he literally just pushed my lunch tray up, and said,

"Faggot."

And I just-- I just broke.

I mean, that was the first time anybody

had ever called me a faggot.

And, I mean, it sounds silly now.

But when you're nine years old, and you're not

even sure what the word means.

I had to ask people what it meant.

They said, oh it means you're gay.

Oh, it's OK.

My friends were trying to make me feel better.

But it actually made me question myself,

and say, is this why I don't get along with all these guys.

Is this what they think of me.

I mean, the emotional, the mental

torture that you go through from just that one word is awful.

And I did.

I had girlfriends all through elementary school.

I had Caitlin, Tori, and then Lisa.

I mean, I've had a beard since I was in kindergarten.

To be perfectly honest with you,

I was pretty much picked on from first grade

to the time I left high school.

And it wasn't constant and unbearable,

but it was enough that I-- I always had this feeling

if someone would call me something, or push

me, or punch me, or whatever.

This feeling of, what did I do?

What did I ever do to you?

I'm just me.

It's like I'm made fun of even more

for being this sissy, artsy boy, who was now a faggot.

And I actually realized that I was gay all on my own

by the time I was in sixth grade.

But I didn't want to tell anybody.

But they sure told me.

They told me all the time.

I remember this one kid.

I was so proud of myself.

I had-- I got this brand new leather Calvin Klein

backpack and this pea coat.

And I looked so sharp.

And I got on the school bus.

And he picked on me all the time.

And I was so proud of myself.

I thought I dressed up all nice, and I

was going to impress my teachers, because they were

like my only friends in school.

And as soon as I got on the bus, he said, "You're a faggot."

And I kind of quietly cried the whole ride to school.

And then when I got to school, I threw the backpack away.

I never felt so compelled to hide again.

I came out of the closet when I was 15,

and I was back in the closet by the time I was 16 proverbially.

Some people knew that were close to me.

But I lied to my doctors, which I never should have done.

I lied to family.

I lied to friends out here.

I had best friends when I was 16, 17, living in LA

that didn't know I was gay.

Well after each suicide attempt, it got even darker.

It was like, oh my God, you can't even do that right.

At the beginning of my high school and my freshman

year, I weighed over 210 pounds.

It hurts to know that not only the outside world,

the heterosexual world, teased me as, oh, you're gay.

You're not allowed.

But also the gay world.

Just because you're fat, you're not--

it was like two worlds that just came to me, and was like, wow.

I don't-- where do I belong in the end?

I was molested twice as a child.

I was molested by a family member,

and I was molested by someone from theater.

I was young.

I was young, young, like four, when

the family member molested me.

And that was really difficult. It also

compounded when I was thinking about if I was gay or not,

if it was because of that.

And I've been to a lot of therapy to deal with that.

I was also molested by someone who was only about six

or seven years older than me.

But when you're 11, that's a big age difference.

And he would go backstage in between shows

and touch me and fondle me, and do horrible things to me.

And I was-- I was just a child.

And that just added this whole other dimension to trying

to figure out who I was.

No.

No, I knew it was his fault. I did feel like maybe

because I wanted to be his friend

at first, that maybe that led him on,

and all these horrible things.

But I was terrified to tell anybody.

His family was really big in theater.

And it was disgusting.

When I finally told my mom, she wanted to kill him.

And I didn't let her sue, or anything.

It makes me want to throw up thinking about it.

It damaged me so much sexually that when my first boyfriend

and I got together, I couldn't even get an erection

for the first three months.

And bless his heart, he stayed with me every day

and told me he loved me, and told me we

were going to get through it.

And finally, we were able to have sex.

But I was so terrified, and my body was still in such shock,

just so many years later that it wasn't working.

The thing about foster parents is they

tell you, don't say anything.

Don't tell them what's going on because they're

going to take you away from us.

And you're going to go here, and they're

going to do this to you, and this, and that to you.

And I was just young and naive.

I didn't think about it.

And so, that was already happening to me,

all the stuff they said.

You're going to get raped, you're going

to get beat up, and all this.

All that was already happening.

But I just was scared.

I shut myself down when it would happen.

And finally, it stopped.

And I told my parents, and it was dealt with.

It's not why I'm gay.

I've heard some perspectives that are interesting, that I

think are kind of accurate.

Predators are predators.

What do predators look for?

They look for easy prey.

Predators look-- especially sexual predators--

look for kids who are gay, because it

messes with their mind.

You can tell if a kid's gay a lot of the time,

when they're very young.

Especially if they're in your family.

And I believe that that man knew or had an inkling that I was,

and just took advantage of me.

It's not why I'm gay.

I knew I was gay when I was two, before I was ever molested.

And those people are ignorant.

Those people are ignorant that say that because you

were molested, you're gay.

And for those of you out there who are,

and those people out there that are thinking

that that's why you're gay, and hating yourselves for it,

be strong.

Go to therapy.

I went to therapy for many years.

I'm very grateful for it.

Because it helped me understand that I am who I am,

and it has nothing to do with those crappy people.

If you let scum bags define who you are,

then you need to look at yourself in the mirror.

And I know that's hard sometimes.

And I know that's harsh, but it's the truth.

We are who we are.

Gay people do not choose to be gay.

And it has nothing to do with being molested.

It's not a choice.

It's how you're born.

And I don't know why it has to be an issue.

My sister and I came out to my parents

simultaneously, without the other person knowing it,

within like, a week of each other.

Which is partially why my parents might have some issues.

We both had no idea about the other person

until we told each other, like down the road, later.

A couple weeks after we had both told my parents.

So it's tough.

It's a tough situation for everybody.

But for me, at least, I've always been the type of like,

do what makes you happy, and God bless you.

But I do understand that everybody has to come

out in their own due time.

And the thing I tell young people all the time

is like, absolutely.

Coming out is so important because-- coming out so

important because you are now a person to somebody that maybe

doesn't know any gay people.

You might be a brother, or a sister,

or a daughter, or coworker, or friend.

But the next time a gay issue crosses their path,

they'll say, oh, wait a minute.

I know so-and-so.

And they're a great person.

Why shouldn't they have equal rights,

or why should they be bullied, or why should they

not be allowed to get married, or why

should they not whatever.

Because now they identify with someone.

And gay has a name and face and matters to them.

A year and half after I moved here,

we were on like kind of strained terms.

And she called me and was like, Deandre.

I was like, uh huh-- I was in the middle of Blockbuster--

and she was like, Deandre.

Deandre, do you still think you're gay?

I was like, Ma, I know I'm gay.

And she was like, hm.

I accept you.

I apologize for my reaction.

That wasn't the greatest.

I love you.

And don't let anyone-- what did she say.

I don't want to get this wrong.

She's like, don't let anyone treat

you like you're worthless.

You're worth a lot to me.

And you should know that you're going to be worth so

much to whoever you love.

And cut to me crying in the middle of Blockbuster,

and having everyone ask if I'm OK.

Just having my mom tell me that she accepts me,

that's like, the gay man's best dream.

The experience that I had was once I came out,

I was bullied far less.

Because I think people fear gender difference more than

they fear sexuality difference.

I mean, I think people, when they

see a woman that is confident, and aggressive,

and athletic-- traditionally more masculine qualities--

that's threatening to them.

Especially guys, when they want women to be-- historically guys

want women to be like, subservient, and basically

in a more passive position.

And so I think gender difference is what people had a fear of.

And once, like, I came out, it sort of

put it in context for people.

In a way that, well, now it's not

OK, because now it's not OK to make fun of her for being gay.

It was more OK to make fun of me when

I was just like that weird tomboyish straight girl,

or something.

Then she said to me, everybody thinks I'm gay,

and I don't really know why.

I'm going to have a wedding.

And I said, really?

And wear a wedding gown?

And she's like, yeah. And I said, OK.

Whatever you're going to do.

But you do realize I really mean it.

Whatever you're going to do is great.

So it would seems the rumors

of the homosexual recruiting heterosexuals are false.

And that perhaps, in fact, they are

normal people like you and me.

Surprisingly, I have not had any negative-- anything

negative happen since I've come out.

Everyone I know has been completely supportive.

It literally was just like, hey, I'm gay.

And everyone just went, OK.

What's next?

It's heartening to see people having

the courage to be who they are.

And I think that's a really healthy thing.

And I think pretty soon, it's going to come to the point

where the rest of the world is just going to have to catch

up or get over themselves.

Because there's just-- it's not affecting their life.

Live your life the way you want to, let everybody else

live the life they want to.

So we went to Santa Monica for the day,

and we're walking on the pier.

And I see all these little people pushing babies

in the coaches along the pier.

And I just like, blurted out-- I think there

was just like a dead silence.

And I was like, this is boring.

And I just said, when am I going to get a grand-gayby.

Grand-gayby.

And they just like, doubled over laughing.

And I didn't think it was all that funny,

but I guess because they were just so quiet,

and you had to be there kind of thing, I guess.

But so then Solly called his mother

immediately, and told her.

And I'm like, oh my God, she's going to think I'm crazy.

Not yet.

I hope to, though.

Hi.

How are you?

Hi.

OK, this is my mom.

This is my little sister.

OK, Mom, this is Jane.

Mom and Mom.

Mom and Mom.

Hi, Kira.

I'm Tiffany.

Nice to meet you.

And then this is Mike.

That's all right.

No, I switched places.

Hi, I'm Mike.

And this is my sister, Kira.

Hi, how are you?

--so much taller than people.

He's the tallest.

Are you guys hungry?

This place is amazing.

We're good.

OK, but we're starving, yeah.

-You look great. -Thank you.

You look beautiful.

I love it.

Could it be, that the first meeting

of the families is no different than that

of a heterosexual couple?

Half of the Shrimp Fettucine Lobster, please.

I was a surprise.

Did my employee [INAUDIBLE]?

Ah, it was for two seconds.

WOMAN: --sandwich was horrible.

And then I had, like, an awful

But still the same one I was using.

MAN: You guys should come to our house.

Yay.

I was really happy about it.

When Solly-- I knew something was up,

because I could hear him on the phone, late at night,

talking and laughing.

And I'm like, who is he talking to?

And then one day, he just said, Mom, I

have something to tell you.

And I went, oh, great.

Now what?

And he said, no, no, no.

It's a good thing.

It's a good thing.

And he said, I met somebody.

And I went, yeah?

And he said, yeah.

His name is Matt.

Matt Smith.

And I went, oh, Solly, That's so great.

I was so happy, I started crying.

I was so happy for him.

I'm confused.

You guys are in a relationship?

MATTHEW SMITH: (SARCASTICALLY) Did you not know he was gay?

Crap. What?

Oh, my god.

When did he first tell you that he was gay?

Did you have an inkling before he told you?

Oh, yeah.

How old was he when you thought you knew?

I think Solly was probably about six years old

when I, kind of a mother's intuition, I went,

I think he's gay.

I was kind of like, he was two.

And I thought the same thing.

I'd answer a phone, and he'd start talking,

and I'd go to Jason, he's going to tell us, like that.

You know, like he's finally going to tell us.

And Jason was like all excited.

And I started crying.

I got all teared up because I just felt like you

finally get to be who you are.

And then I immediately went to the computer

and Googled Matt Smith.

What was your take on the gay situation,

as you want to call it.

What was your feelings?

It was tough.

MATTHEW SMITH: Tough, but in a good way?

WOMAN:

Yeah.

It was hard.

But I knew it was coming, but I didn't want to--

MATTHEW SMITH: Admit it?

Right.

And I can't imagine what you were thinking,

if you had a brother that died.

He was gay?

Exactly.

It was hard.

It was hard.

He was in his 30s.

Yeah, no, he was younger than I am, or was.

But it was real hard because I went through it all with him.

MATT'S MOM: So that's more complicated, how you

feel about something like that.

I mean, that's always a fear.

But I don't think-- I mean, I think it's sort of-- it's

a lot better than it used to be.

It's a lot more--

Oh yeah.

Everybody understands it more today.

It was really hard for me.

I text messaged a lot of people.

I definitely called like, main people,

told my parents and everything.

But it got to a point where it was just ridiculous.

I'm still sure that people are watching this right now going,

oh, he came out of the closet.

Because you just forget to tell people.

You're like, oh yeah.

Because it was so easy.

This hard, horrible thing that I put in my head

built up to nothing.

When it came to the end of the day,

it was just simple coming out to everyone.

When it was time for him to come out to me,

it was Christmas.

And we were coming in from a road trip.

I had been out scouting.

And I had a bunch of bags in the car.

And I said, come on, I need your help bringing some stuff in.

He said, I have something really important I want to tell you.

I said, what?

He said, I'm gay.

And I said, are you serious or are you joking?

Like are you trying to see what my reaction might be,

or is this a serious conversation?

He said, no, I'm serious.

I'm gay.

So I gave him a hug, and I said, I love you.

And I don't care.

And I said, grab one of those bags.

We went back inside, and I opened the door,

and I said, mom you owe me $20.

I always told you he was gay.

What would I say to kids being bullied?

You know, I would just say to really remember

that it's not personal.

It's their problem.

It's not your problem.

There's nothing wrong with you.

And there's something wrong with them.

And to really know that, and understand it.

And that's not to diminish or to deny the hardship that somebody

undergoes when they're being bullied for something,

particularly something they cannot change.

But I think it's essential that you realize

that sorry, this is who I am.

There's nothing wrong with me.

The fact that you think there's something

wrong means there's something wrong with you.

The You Can Play Project is our campaign

to end homophobia in sports.

And it was inspired by my late brother Brendan, who

was the first person to come out as openly

gay, who was really affiliated with the National

Hockey League.

The idea behind it is very simple.

If you can play, you can play.

If you're good enough to play, then

regardless of your sexual orientation,

you get to be on the team.

I would just say be fearless.

I think that's one of the biggest things I've learned,

is to be fearless.

Because after you've been through so much, you feel like,

this is it.

There's no more hope.

But I would just say to them, do it.

Own it.

Go after it.

Don't worry about what people are going to say.

Don't worry about being rejected.

That's going to happen.

And if you go in with that understanding,

the outcome is going to be so much more greater.

No one chooses to be gay.

There may be some people that choose.

But for the most part, I didn't choose to be gay.

I didn't.

And I will just take that with me to the grave.

I didn't choose that.

Because no one chooses to be depressed every day.

No one chooses to not know who they are.

No one chooses to be laughed at.

To be teased.

No one chooses that.

It would be that much more easy to just be straight.

So how can someone say it's a choice?

And I just feel like that's what the parents think.

And I would just say to them, please, just take time out.

Don't judge them.

Don't judge.

Just be there, be loving and supportive.

You may not have to agree with it,

but just be there, the support.

So the only thing that we can do as parents, or as siblings,

or as friends, is to accept it.

Because if we don't, what have we done?

I think the most important thing for kids

to know if they are feeling like they're the only

gay kid around, and they're being bullied,

and they have no place to turn to,

is that there's always somebody out there that cares about you.

And there's a whole other network of support.

And maybe you're having a hard time finding them right now,

but there are resources out there.

There's the Trevor Project, there are teachers,

there are counselors, there's people like me.

There's a whole world of people out there

that are wanting to give you the love and support that you need.

And sometimes it takes a little while to find that,

but literally don't give up.

Because there's a whole world out there waiting for you.

When it came time to post, I had written it,

I had spent so much time looking it over it,

making sure it was perfect.

I was like literally about to click the mouse,

and I turned to Vincent, and I go, you sure I'm gay, right?

And he's like, yup. And I was like, all right.

I guess I have to click.

So I hit post, and we went to dinner.

And by the time we got back, I had so many

messages already of support.

A lot of people get very upset when the gay community compares

their civil rights movement to the civil rights

movement in the '60s, with African American people.

But I've seen a lot of really good articles

and talked to a lot of really intelligent people

who believe that it's very similar.

And the reason I think that we use that as an example of what

we're going through isn't because we're

trying to compare, necessarily, the heartache and the history.

But I think because we're hopefully

trying to compare the outcome.

Because the outcome was pretty good, as far as

the African American civil rights movement goes.

I mean, they're accepted.

They're free.

They can do everything that everyone else can do.

And I understand the pieces of the puzzle

that are not the same, but like I said,

I think it's more of a hopeful thing.

That we want that for us.

And I think that that is the moral in life.

We really all should just be happy for each other

and support each other, whoever we are.

I'm always reminded of this simple question

that Jesus was asked.

Someone asked Jesus, what is the greatest commandment?

What is the greatest commandment?

What's the best thing?

If we could only focus on one thing,

what would that be, Jesus?

Tell me what the secret is.

And Jesus says it like this.

He says, the greatest commandment

is this: love God with your heart,

soul, mind, and strength.

And the second is like it.

Love your neighbor as yourself.

Now what always strikes me about that story

is that Jesus was asked for one commandment,

but he's given two answers.

He says there's two commandments that are the greatest.

So that tells me one of three things.

Either Jesus can't hear, Jesus can't count,

or loving God and loving your neighbor

are so inextricably linked that you simply

can't do one without the other.

Don't give up hope.

Be proud, and hold your head up.

And remember who you are.

The advice every gay kid has to keep inside their heart

is they're gifts to this world.

They're here for a reason.

Every human is here for a reason.

Every human has an impact on this giant world,

on some level.

And even if you can't grasp it, or touch it, or feel it

when you're a kid, just know that

even what you're doing as a kid has an impact on this world.

If you need role models, now there's

places to look for role models.

There's all this mentoring going on,

and mentoring programs, and finding

somebody that's like you.

Somebody that you can really deal with, and talk to, and is

in a place where you would like to be.

And finding out how they got there, and what you

need to do to get there.

It's important to remember that.

And to not allow somebody who tells

you, no, you can't do this, or no,

you shouldn't run for office.

Can you imagine the scandal that's going

to come out because you're gay?

OK.

Well, I said, the scandal comes out because you deny

you're gay when you're gay.

I said, I'm not going to jam it down anybody's throat,

because again, that's not who I represent.

I represent James Healey.

But am I gay?

Absolutely.

Am I proud of who I am?

Absolutely.

And have I developed and made that person?

Yes, I have, and I take full responsibility

and accountability for that.

Wouldn't it be great if it was like a non-issue?

I mean, that's the goal.

That's the dream.

It's like, OK, I just happen to like men.

Sorry.

And with no apology, really.

And a lot of the times, people just

don't know anyone that's gay, and that's

why they think those things.

But people are people.

And I think real human interaction

is so much stronger than any preconceived notions

that people have.

And if someone loves you, and they know you, 95%,

97% of the time, they're going to accept you for you are.

And I think that's a really important thing.

It's hard to believe, necessarily,

when you hear people making negative comments.

But it really is the truth.

And I've just seen it time and time again,

where people come out and they say,

man, I really thought this was going

to be a problem with this aunt that I have

that's really conservative.

And she turned around, and she said,

I love you, no matter what.

And you're hearing those stories over, and over, and over again.

It's really powerful.

In what respects?

I'm going to take it one step further.

To the straight youths out there,

who are going to be the parents of the gay kids,

learn to love yourself now.

Because it will allow you love your kids, whether they're

gay or straight.

And I would love nothing more than there to be millions

of parents like mine out there when I'm old,

who are having kids.

Because it won't matter whether they're gay or straight.

The gay youth are in a totally different time now than even

I was, just 15 years ago.

And there's a lot more acceptance.

And there's a lot more going on for them

socially and culturally than we could have ever dreamed of.

So my focus right now is towards the straight kids,

who are going to be having the gay kids, eventually.

Because they're the ones that are going to decide

whether or not there are this many suicides,

and these kids do feel accepted or not accepted.

In society, politically, media wise,

statistically, there's just more straight people.

So I would like to reach out to all those straight kids

and say we are no different.

And your kids are no different.

And if you know gay kids, they're no different.

We're all unique, and we all need exploit our flaws.

All of us.

Because otherwise we're just sheep.

Just like everybody else.

Have you guys walked many carpets?

Is it different displays of affections

between two gay men on carpet?

I mean, do you guys feel awkward?

Or is it completely natural?

It feels pretty natural.

I mean--

I'm really gay, so I don't care.

It was much harder hiding it, actually, when

I was younger, than it is now.

The bottom line is our strongest

position is our truth.

I think we need to see so many more people out

there who are openly gay, and who are doing admirable things.

And open those doors so wide so that finally,

you just sort of-- these people kind

of give up their weapons of hate.

And just lay them down and say, forget it.

It's too big a fight.

I can't fight it.

My name's James Healey.

My name is Paul V.

My name is Vanessa Selbst.

My name is Patrick Burke.

My name is Carson Kressley.

My name is Greg Louganis.

My name's Miranda Foster.

I'm Eliza Roberts.

My name's Keaton Simons.

I'm Eric Roberts.

I'm Jason Somerville.

I'm Josh Strickland.

I'm not insulting you in any way, am I?

No!