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1
00:00:04,704 --> 00:00:08,808
- ♪ Now as our poor
young lungs deflate ♪
2
00:00:08,875 --> 00:00:12,746
♪ I'll admit
I've gotten older ♪
3
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:18,518
♪ Mellowed out, chatting up
those I used to hate ♪
4
00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:21,021
♪ ♪
5
00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:25,392
♪ The feeling that
we're lost will always fade ♪
6
00:00:25,492 --> 00:00:29,562
♪ I present no explanation ♪
7
00:00:29,662 --> 00:00:33,166
♪ Can't expect
our tired patience ♪
8
00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:37,437
♪ To satiate for long ♪
9
00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:41,274
♪ Therein lies a truth
we can sip when we want ♪
10
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:47,781
♪ Disciples of the flow,
we can float anywhere ♪
11
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:50,784
- Oh, so hot.
Oh, so sweaty.
12
00:00:51,684 --> 00:00:54,054
Sweat dripping off
of my 10-year-old Johnson.
13
00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:56,389
This is not worth the $40.
14
00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:58,124
- Oh, Tommy, thank you so much.
15
00:00:58,224 --> 00:01:00,126
Look at you!
You're such a doll.
16
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:02,429
- Oh, no problem.
That's gonna be 40 bucks.
17
00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:04,764
- Oh my gosh!
I love your industrious spirit,
18
00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:07,133
but here is a plate of brownies
for your trouble.
19
00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:09,235
- What do you mean?
Brownies instead of--
20
00:01:09,302 --> 00:01:10,637
- instead of money?
21
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,605
- I'm just a little short
on cash right now.
22
00:01:12,705 --> 00:01:14,641
- I just mowed the lawn
for two hours.
23
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:16,543
- Sweetheart, you shouldn't be
helping neighbors
24
00:01:16,609 --> 00:01:18,211
for the money, okay?
You should be helping them
25
00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:22,148
for the exchange of goodwill
and good brownies!
26
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,150
Bye-bye, Tommy!
27
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:25,652
- I'm saying no.
What's happening?
28
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,754
- Bye sweetheart! B-bye!
29
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,656
- "B-bye"?
30
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:31,424
Oh, what a day.
31
00:01:31,491 --> 00:01:33,726
This is not a quality lawnmower
at all, is it?
32
00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:34,928
- Excuse me, kid.
33
00:01:34,994 --> 00:01:36,262
- Me?
34
00:01:36,329 --> 00:01:37,664
- What the hell do you think
you're doing?
35
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,165
- I was just walking home.
36
00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:41,835
- No, what you're doing
is stealing clients
37
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,337
by undercutting my prices.
38
00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:46,840
- Stealing clients? I'm 10.
- Oh-ho!
39
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:51,077
You're one of these kids
who likes to hide behind math!
40
00:01:51,144 --> 00:01:52,445
- What's happening?
41
00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:53,813
- You're stealing food
from my family.
42
00:01:53,913 --> 00:01:55,181
- No.
- That job...
43
00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:56,349
- Stop.
44
00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:58,017
- Could've been
a hot meal...
45
00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,986
- Stop.
- On my son's plate.
46
00:02:00,086 --> 00:02:01,488
- Hey, Tom.
- Oh, hey, Randy.
47
00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:02,689
- Yeah, Tom.
Why did you steal my dinner?
48
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:03,957
- No, you've got it all wrong.
49
00:02:04,023 --> 00:02:05,358
I literally got paid
in brownies.
50
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:06,993
I didn't even get money.
- Oh!
51
00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:09,696
Great, so you stole my dessert.
That's even worse.
52
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,264
- You steal desserts!
53
00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:15,969
A child's reward
for what he does, you steal!
54
00:02:19,205 --> 00:02:20,874
- What just happened?
55
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:23,543
- Whoo, Tom,
these are incredible!
56
00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:25,178
This is even better than money.
57
00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:27,280
- I don't know about that.
- Tom, if I've taught you
58
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:29,649
one thing
as a mother, what is it?
59
00:02:29,716 --> 00:02:31,718
- You can't eat money?
- Exactly.
60
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:32,986
Keep these brownies coming.
61
00:02:33,052 --> 00:02:34,988
Oh, hang on.
62
00:02:35,054 --> 00:02:36,556
Oh, hi, Denise.
What's up, girl?
63
00:02:37,123 --> 00:02:39,659
Why yes, Tom is mowing lawns
for baked goods.
64
00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:41,060
- Oh, no!
Don't encourage that.
65
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,862
- Will he mow your lawn
for a Bundt cake?
66
00:02:42,962 --> 00:02:44,731
- Give me the phone.
- Of course he will!
67
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,032
We'll put you down
for Saturday.
68
00:02:46,132 --> 00:02:47,233
Take care, Denise.
69
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:48,735
- Oh my God! Denise!
- Too late.
70
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,470
- Mom, I don't think
you have the authority
71
00:02:50,537 --> 00:02:51,905
to accept jobs on my behalf.
That's against the law.
72
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,473
- Tom, I'm your mom.
73
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:55,575
I have complete and unchecked
authority over you.
74
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,010
- No, let's call the mayor.
75
00:02:57,076 --> 00:02:58,678
Let's call somebody.
What's going on here?
76
00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:00,180
- Let's call--hey!
Call the mayor.
77
00:03:00,246 --> 00:03:02,148
- Oh, my God.
- Hi, Rick.
78
00:03:02,215 --> 00:03:04,017
It's funny you ask, Rick.
Tom is accepting new clients.
79
00:03:04,083 --> 00:03:05,552
- No, no, no.
- Sure.
80
00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:06,853
Snickerdoodles.
That sounds great.
81
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,087
- Snickerdoodles?
82
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,255
- I'll put you down
for Saturday.
83
00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:10,590
- Rick...
84
00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:12,192
- He's gonna love working
for baked goods.
85
00:03:12,258 --> 00:03:15,929
- Woot, woot!
- Kids, follow your dreams.
86
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,263
Good things will happen.
87
00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:18,665
Aim high.
88
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:21,100
- That was inspiring.
89
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,536
Wow.
Listen to that stuff, kids!
90
00:03:23,603 --> 00:03:25,772
Next up to tell us
91
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:29,342
He is a landscaper.
He works with mulch and trees.
92
00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:32,679
- Oh, no.
- Give it up for Mr. Miller.
93
00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:38,918
- Kids, remember this face,
94
00:03:39,018 --> 00:03:42,021
because it is
the face of failure.
95
00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:43,756
Look at it!
All of you!
96
00:03:43,856 --> 00:03:45,391
Don't avert your eyes!
97
00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:49,462
I had a successful business,
and then Tom here...
98
00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:50,930
- Oh, no.
Leave me out of this.
99
00:03:51,030 --> 00:03:55,201
- ...swooped in and stole
all my clients.
100
00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:56,569
- I didn't swoop.
101
00:03:56,636 --> 00:04:00,773
- I can't find work,
and my son can't eat.
102
00:04:00,873 --> 00:04:02,875
- I'm hungry, Dad.
- Randy, please...
103
00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:04,244
- I'm starving, Papa!
104
00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:06,446
- That felt preplanned.
- I know you are.
105
00:04:06,546 --> 00:04:08,982
But I can't provide
for my family
106
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,650
because of Tom, Randy.
107
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,485
- All right, listen, everyone.
I feel terrible.
108
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,721
If there's anything I can do,
just say the word.
109
00:04:14,787 --> 00:04:17,156
- Can we crash at your house?
We're being evicted.
110
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,325
- No, that's a bit much.
Good luck, though.
111
00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:20,793
Hope you guys find something.
112
00:04:20,893 --> 00:04:22,228
If you need anything,
just say the word.
113
00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:23,830
- Can we crash at your house?
114
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,431
- If you need anything
other than shelter,
115
00:04:25,498 --> 00:04:27,066
other than housing...
116
00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:29,168
- Tom, you just said,
"If there's anything I can do."
117
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,503
- No, that's
a figure of speech.
118
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:31,904
I was just making small talk.
119
00:04:31,971 --> 00:04:34,274
- Small talk?
These people need shelter!
120
00:04:34,340 --> 00:04:36,676
- And isn't your dad in, like,
Myrtle Beach or something,
121
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:39,646
so you actually have
plenty of room?
122
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:41,581
- Tom, why do you hate
my dad's business?
123
00:04:41,648 --> 00:04:43,916
Why do you hate our family?
Why did you steal my dinner?
124
00:04:43,983 --> 00:04:45,184
- All right, you know what?
125
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,753
My mom is not big
on houseguests,
126
00:04:46,819 --> 00:04:48,488
but I feel like
she's gonna understand.
127
00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:50,356
Our home is your home.
128
00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:54,694
- You want to have
a belching contest?
129
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,630
- That's good!
130
00:04:57,697 --> 00:04:58,931
I win again!
131
00:04:58,998 --> 00:05:00,933
- How long are you two
staying again?
132
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,770
- There was no end date.
133
00:05:03,836 --> 00:05:04,937
Wake up, Tom!
134
00:05:05,004 --> 00:05:06,172
- What's happening?
Why? What?
135
00:05:06,272 --> 00:05:08,007
- We're playing Jenga!
Come on.
136
00:05:08,107 --> 00:05:09,709
- You woke me up for Jenga?
137
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:12,045
- What?
"Some pulp"?
138
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,347
Okay, I guess I'm "some happy"
right now.
139
00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:15,815
Jesus.
140
00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:20,219
- ♪ I'm washing my body
with a great soap ♪
141
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:24,157
♪ Even though the
American empire's collapsing ♪
142
00:05:24,957 --> 00:05:27,360
- In sports, the International
Basketball League was busy
143
00:05:27,460 --> 00:05:28,961
last night with several games
on the schedule...
144
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:34,300
- You know what, guys?
Take this the right way,
145
00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:36,969
but I find you people
so annoying,
146
00:05:37,036 --> 00:05:38,571
and I think we need
to wrap this up.
147
00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:40,173
- You're throwing us out?
- Yup.
148
00:05:40,239 --> 00:05:42,875
- Even though I have no way
to earn a living?
149
00:05:42,975 --> 00:05:45,011
- Look, there's plenty
of jobs out there.
150
00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:46,813
What skills do you have
besides landscaping?
151
00:05:46,879 --> 00:05:49,248
- What are your top skills?
- My top skill?
152
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,750
- Yeah.
- Crying.
153
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:52,085
- Oh, come on.
154
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,353
- That's learnable.
155
00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:54,721
- I don't work well
with others.
156
00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:56,089
- That's a problem.
- I have no grasp
157
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,991
on basic
communication skills, okay?
158
00:05:59,058 --> 00:06:00,393
- That's true.
159
00:06:00,493 --> 00:06:01,728
- I also refuse to wear
160
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:03,262
a uniform or a suit.
161
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,231
- You're really limiting
your options.
162
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:07,900
- This weekend, we're holding
open auditions
163
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,404
for "New Jersey's Got Talent"!
Come on, Jersey.
164
00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:14,941
Show us what you got.
Top prize is $1 million!
165
00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:18,711
- That's it. You can sing.
- That's your career.
166
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:20,279
- Me?
I'm no singer.
167
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,248
- I heard you in the shower.
You're great.
168
00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:24,283
- You think I could sing
professionally?
169
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,587
- If it gets you out
of my house, I really do.
170
00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:29,021
- Me too.
I think you can do it.
171
00:06:29,088 --> 00:06:31,290
- Tom will even join you
at the audition
172
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,759
to make sure it goes well.
173
00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:33,793
- Oh no, I'm not joining
anyone.
174
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:35,061
I don't join things.
175
00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:36,629
- Tom, you bankrupted
my father.
176
00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:38,731
The least you can do
is tag along and clap.
177
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:46,305
- Yo, Tom!
- Oh, Nelson.
178
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,074
Hey, I didn't know
you were gonna be here.
179
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,409
You guys are all auditioning?
180
00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:51,577
- Of course.
- I'm doing my magic act.
181
00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:52,879
Watch this.
Whoa!
182
00:06:52,945 --> 00:06:53,946
Oh! A quarter?
183
00:06:54,046 --> 00:06:55,214
- Oh, my God, that was amazing.
184
00:06:55,281 --> 00:06:56,649
- Man.
That's magic, brother.
185
00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:58,651
- Principal, what kind of act
do you do?
186
00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:00,153
- It sounds boring, but it's--
187
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,722
I do a tap dance routine
with my dog.
188
00:07:02,789 --> 00:07:04,290
- Wow. Lot of good acts.
Lot of strong acts.
189
00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:05,591
- What are you doing, Tom?
190
00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:07,293
I didn't know
you had any talents.
191
00:07:07,393 --> 00:07:09,162
- Oh, I'm not talented, no.
I'm just here to make sure
192
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,963
the landscaper's audition
goes well.
193
00:07:11,063 --> 00:07:12,331
- What?
- He moved into our house
194
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,666
with his son.
Now I'm helping him...
195
00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:14,834
- What?
- Reinvent his career.
196
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,169
It's a long story.
197
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:17,470
- If I had a penny
for all your stories,
198
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:19,238
I would have a--
ah-oh--a quarter!
199
00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:20,573
- That's good.
It gets me every time.
200
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:21,941
- I think I'm ready.
201
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,187
- Thank you for coming in.
- Thank you.
202
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,789
- Next up, I've got
a Mr. Miller.
203
00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:38,357
- Thanks for seeing me.
204
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:42,528
My passion is to write
and sing original songs,
205
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:45,932
mostly about landscaping.
Here we go.
206
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:53,139
♪ Leaf Blower blow me home ♪
207
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:54,440
♪ Blow me a mil-- ♪
208
00:07:54,507 --> 00:07:56,509
- Thank you.
Thank you for coming in.
209
00:07:56,609 --> 00:07:58,277
- Oh, you didn't like it?
- Oh, no, no.
210
00:07:58,344 --> 00:07:59,712
You have a lovely voice.
211
00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:01,948
There's just no market
for landscaping ballads.
212
00:08:02,014 --> 00:08:04,183
Just a tough genre,
if you know what I mean.
213
00:08:04,283 --> 00:08:05,451
- At least let the guy
finish the song.
214
00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:06,719
He waited for hours.
215
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:08,221
- And who are you?
216
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,722
- I'm Tom.
I'm his landlord.
217
00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:11,023
- That's funny.
218
00:08:11,123 --> 00:08:13,025
Now, this kid
has an interesting look.
219
00:08:13,125 --> 00:08:15,061
And look at his brother.
What a pair.
220
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,729
- Oh, no, we're not brothers.
221
00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:18,965
- No, yeah, we have
an open disdain for each other.
222
00:08:19,866 --> 00:08:22,368
- I love the banter.
What a family.
223
00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:23,669
- We're not a family.
224
00:08:23,736 --> 00:08:25,805
- But we do live
under the same roof, Tom.
225
00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:27,373
- Yeah.
We don't like each other.
226
00:08:27,473 --> 00:08:30,243
There's constant discontent.
We're a family.
227
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,645
- What if you do this act,
but as a boy band?
228
00:08:32,712 --> 00:08:33,913
- What? No.
229
00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:36,349
- A boy band that includes
one of the dads?
230
00:08:36,415 --> 00:08:37,717
I mean, it's never been done.
231
00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:39,919
- Love it. Fresh idea.
- Genius.
232
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:41,888
- That sounds like
the worst act ever.
233
00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:43,756
- Why don't you not tell me
how to do my business, kid?
234
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:46,726
Come back in next week, because
you guys are in round one.
235
00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:48,261
- What? No, no, no.
- Yes.
236
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,496
- Son, our problems are over.
237
00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:53,266
All right, here we go.
Ready?
238
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,600
Hit it!
239
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,203
♪ I'm here mowing lawns ♪
240
00:08:57,270 --> 00:09:00,740
♪ And applying mulch ♪
- ♪ Mulch ♪
241
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:03,209
- ♪ And I'm blowing
people's leaves ♪
242
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,244
- ♪ I'm here ♪
- Blowing leaves.
243
00:09:05,344 --> 00:09:08,881
- ♪ But it's no fun
when you're not here ♪
244
00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:11,117
- Oh, my God.
What am I seeing?
245
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,052
- ♪ I think it's time
to leave ♪
246
00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:14,253
- Blow me from here.
247
00:09:14,353 --> 00:09:16,088
- Okay. Stop the music.
Tom!
248
00:09:16,188 --> 00:09:17,957
- What's wrong?
- You need to sell it.
249
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,525
- I was snapping,
snapping and dancing.
250
00:09:19,592 --> 00:09:22,728
- Big smile.
Snap like you mean it.
251
00:09:22,795 --> 00:09:24,597
- Tom, can I have a word
with you, buddy?
252
00:09:24,697 --> 00:09:26,899
- All right, you guys practice.
I'm gonna go talk to Nelson.
253
00:09:26,966 --> 00:09:29,135
- Here we go. Here we go.
All right, you ready?
254
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:30,636
- Hey, buddy. What's up?
255
00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:31,971
- Hey, what are you doing?
- What am I doing?
256
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:33,639
I joined
a family-based boy band
257
00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:35,875
that sings about landscaping.
We made it to round one.
258
00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:38,144
Good shot at
the million dollars, I think.
259
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,112
- Big smile!
- Tom, Tom...
260
00:09:40,212 --> 00:09:41,314
- Randy, what are you doing?
261
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:42,615
- Tom.
- You okay?
262
00:09:42,715 --> 00:09:44,150
Why are you
rubbing your temples?
263
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,484
- You're not winning anything.
- All right.
264
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,719
Sounds like you're jealous,
so I'm--
265
00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:47,820
- Jealous?
Come on, man.
266
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,155
Haven't you seen those shows?
267
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:50,590
You guys are
the "token bad act."
268
00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:52,124
- Token bad act?
What does that even mean?
269
00:09:52,224 --> 00:09:53,159
- They bring you on the show
270
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:54,760
so they can make fun of you.
271
00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:56,629
- That's why we're on the show?
- It's a setup.
272
00:09:56,729 --> 00:09:58,097
- Oh, no.
This is not good at all.
273
00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:00,333
- Randy.
- If you can't snap,
274
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,001
you don't belong
in the business.
275
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,336
- I'm telling you, man.
I'm gonna be honest with you.
276
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:04,503
You need to bail on this.
277
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:05,605
I can't be friends with a guy
278
00:10:05,671 --> 00:10:07,006
in a landscaping boy band.
279
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:09,342
- I appreciate the talk,
but I gotta be honest.
280
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,010
My gut is saying go for it.
281
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:12,812
- Tom, you're wearing
a jumpsuit,
282
00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:14,447
snapping and dancing.
- Yeah?
283
00:10:14,513 --> 00:10:17,283
- You clearly don't make
good decisions in life.
284
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:24,490
- Tom, you have
outdone yourself.
285
00:10:24,590 --> 00:10:26,692
I can't believe
they sent a limo!
286
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,594
- They do it
for all on-camera talent.
287
00:10:28,661 --> 00:10:30,496
- What now?
- And it's not a limo.
288
00:10:30,596 --> 00:10:32,198
It's a nasty old town car.
289
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,300
- In my opinion,
if it's got a glass wall,
290
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,202
it's a limo, and please zip it.
291
00:10:37,169 --> 00:10:38,971
- Enjoy.
- I'm proud of you, Tom.
292
00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:40,473
- Thank you.
293
00:10:40,539 --> 00:10:42,041
- 'Cause not only are you
getting these lunatics
294
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:45,211
out of our house,
you could also win $1 million.
295
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:46,879
- Mom, don't get your hopes up.
296
00:10:46,979 --> 00:10:48,948
I don't think our act
is that strong, to be honest.
297
00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:50,883
- Hello?
298
00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:54,320
Actually, my son
cannot mow your lawn today.
299
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:55,888
- Oh, no, I can.
- Go ahead, fire him.
300
00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:58,724
Your Bundt cake sucks anyway.
Bye, bitch.
301
00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:01,327
- You can't do that.
- Millionaires don't mow lawns.
302
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:03,162
Ya heard?
303
00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:05,631
Hello.
No, Tom can't make it.
304
00:11:05,698 --> 00:11:06,699
- I'll be there.
305
00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:07,967
- He said, and I quote,
306
00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:09,402
"Tell Mrs. Ryan
307
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:12,571
to shove her weedwhacker
straight up her own crack."
308
00:11:13,205 --> 00:11:14,840
I know, kids these days.
309
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,911
- All right, buddy.
I just need to mic you up.
310
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:21,681
- Oh, okay. Showbiz.
Very exciting.
311
00:11:21,747 --> 00:11:23,382
- Hey, where are
your dad and brother?
312
00:11:23,482 --> 00:11:24,884
- I have no idea.
313
00:11:24,984 --> 00:11:26,252
- What do you mean?
- We're not a tight family.
314
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:27,420
- Oh, you've got
to be shitting me!
315
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:28,688
We need them.
- What?
316
00:11:28,754 --> 00:11:30,089
- You're on in 10 minutes.
- Oh.
317
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:31,590
- We're gonna have
to call them.
318
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:32,925
- Okay.
- Here.
319
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:34,193
- Hello?
320
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:35,361
- Where are you?
We go on in 10 minutes.
321
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:36,762
- Can't hear you, Tom.
322
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:37,997
I'm mowing a lawn.
323
00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:39,498
- You're mowing a lawn?
324
00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:41,567
- I've been flooded
with calls today, Tom.
325
00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:43,703
All my clients want me back.
326
00:11:43,769 --> 00:11:44,837
- No.
327
00:11:44,904 --> 00:11:46,238
- They said you're unreliable
328
00:11:46,338 --> 00:11:48,074
and rude, Tom.
329
00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:49,442
And your mom told them off.
330
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,243
- Oh, no...
- Remember, Tom.
331
00:11:51,343 --> 00:11:54,413
Snap with conviction
and big smiles.
332
00:11:54,513 --> 00:11:56,015
- Thanks, Dad.
See you later.
333
00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:57,450
- Okay, where are they?
334
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:58,951
- I know this isn't
what you want to hear.
335
00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:00,553
We're gonna have to cancel.
- Wait, sorry.
336
00:12:00,619 --> 00:12:02,054
Cancel?
We don't do that.
337
00:12:02,121 --> 00:12:04,523
You're going out there
right now.
338
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:09,628
- That was wonderful.
Wasn't that wonderful, folks?
339
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:10,930
That was fun.
340
00:12:11,030 --> 00:12:12,064
Well, our next act should be
341
00:12:12,131 --> 00:12:13,733
a real crowd-pleaser, too.
342
00:12:13,799 --> 00:12:15,067
His name is Tom.
343
00:12:15,134 --> 00:12:16,135
He's a former member
344
00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:17,737
of a family-based boy band,
345
00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:20,139
but now he's striking out
on his own,
346
00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:23,476
dancing and snapping
to landscaping music.
347
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:34,487
- I forget the lyrics...
Something about mulch?
348
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,555
Oh, my God.
This is...
349
00:12:36,622 --> 00:12:39,325
- Oh, what's that?
Look, a quarter.
350
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:40,893
- Can I get off the stage?
351
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:42,928
What happens now?
352
00:12:42,995 --> 00:12:44,563
- Excuse me.
Is that your son up there?
353
00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:45,998
Because he is very bad.
354
00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:48,234
- No, my son died
in a weed-whacking accident.
355
00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:50,069
I don't know who this kid is.
356
00:12:50,136 --> 00:12:53,172
♪ ♪
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